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BY  jf  HOLBROOK.-® 

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WITH  ILLUSTRATIONS. 

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PHILADELPHIA: 

H.  COWPERTHWAIT  &  00. 

1856. 

BOSTON  COLLEGE  LIBRARY 
CHESTNUT  HILL,  MASS. 


V 


Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1855, 

BY  J.  HOLBROOK 

In  the  Clerk’s  Office  of  the  District  Court  for  the  District  of  Columbia. 


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34081 


O’NEILL  LIBRARY 
BOSTON  COLLEGE 


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fjris  Work 

IS  RESPECTFULLY  DEDICATED  TO  THOSE  OFFICIALLY  CONNECTED  WITH 
THE  MAIL  SERVICE  OF  THE  UNITED  STATES. 


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PREFACE. 

/ 

Tee  idea  of  preparing  the  present  work  was  suggested 
to  the  author  by  the  universal  interest  manifested  in  re¬ 
gard  to  the  class  of  delinquencies  to  which  it  relates,  and 
the  eagerness  with  which  the  details  of  the  various  modes 
adopted  in  successful  cases  to  detect  the  guilty  parties, 
have  been  sought  after  by  all  classes.  He  was  also 
induced  to  undertake  this  series  of  narratives  by  the 
hope  and  belief  that  while  it  afforded  interesting  matter 
for  the  general  reader,  it  might  prove  a  public  benefit 
by  increasing  the  safety  of  the  United  States  mails,  and 
fortifying  those  officially  connected  with  the  post-office 
and  mail  service,  against  the  peculiar  temptations  incident 
to  their  position,  thus  preserving  to  society  some  at  least 
who,  without  such  warnings  as  the  following  sketches 
contain,  might  make  shipwreck  of  their  principles,  and 
meet  with  a  felon’s  doom. 

It  has  been  said  that  whoever  acts  upon  the  principle 
that  “  honesty  is  the  best  policy,”  is  himself  dishonest. 
That  is,  policy  should  not  be  the  motive  to  honesty,  which 
is  true  ;  but  taking  into  view  how  many  there  are  who 
would  not  he  influenced  by  higher  considerations,  it  is 
evident  that  whatever  serves  to  impress  on  the  mind  the 
1*  (5) 


VI 


PREFACE. 


inevitable  connection  between  crime  and  misery,  if  not 
between  honesty  and  happiness,  will  aid  in  strengthening 
the  barriers  against  dishonesty,  too  often,  alas !  insuffi¬ 
cient  to  withstand  the  pressure  of  temptation. 

The  author  has  endeavored  to  enforce  these  truths  in 
the  following  pages,  and  he  relies  for  the  desired  impres¬ 
sion  on  the  fact  that  they  are  not  dry,  abstract  precepts 
which  he  presents,  but  portions  of  real  life  ;  experiences 
the  like  of  which  may  be  the  lot  of  any  young  man  ; 
temptations  before  which  stronger  men  than  he  have 
fallen,  and  which  he  must  flee  from  if  he  would  success¬ 
fully  resist. 

The  most  elaborate  treatise  on  rascality  would  not 
compare  in  its  effects  on  the  mass  of  mankind,  with  the 
simplest  truthful  narrative  of  a  crime  and  its  conse¬ 
quences,  especially  if  addressed  to  those  exposed  by  cir¬ 
cumstances  to  the  danger  of  committing  offences  similar 
to  the  one  described. 

Two  objections  to  the  publication  of  a  work  like  the 
present,  occurred  to  the  author  as  well  as  to  others  whom 
he  consulted,  and  caused  him  to  hesitate  in  commencing 
the  undertaking.  First,  the  possibility  that  the  detailed 
description  of  ingenious  acts  of  dishonesty,  might  furnish 
information  which  could  be  obtained  from  no  other 
source,  and  supply  the  evil-disposed  with  expedients  for 
the  prosecution  of  their  nefarious  designs.  Second, 
the  danger  of  again  inflicting  pain  upon  the  innocent 
relatives  and  friends  of  those  whose  criminal  biography 
would  furnish  material  for  the  work. 

In  reference  to  the  first  of  these  objections  it  may  be 
said,  that,  although  descriptions  of  skilful  roguery  are 
always  perused  with  interest,  and  often  with  a  sort  of 
admiration  for  the  talent  displayed,  yet  when  it  is  seen 


PREFACE. 


Vll 

that  retribution  follows  as  certainly  and  often  as  closely 
as  a  shadow ;  that  however  dexterously  the  criminal  may 
conceal  himself  in  a  labyrinth  of  his  own  construction, 
the  ministers  of  the  law  track  him  through  all  its  wind¬ 
ings,  or  demolish  the  cunningly  devised  structure ;  and 
that  when  he  fancies  himself  out  of  the  reach  of  Justice, 
he  sees,  to  his  utter  dismay,  her  omnipresent  arm  uplifted 
to  strike  him  down;  when  these  truths  are  brought  to 
light  by  the  record,  an  impressive  view  will  be  given  of 
the  resources  which  are  at  command  for  thwarting  the 
designs  of  dishonesty,  and  of  the  futility  of  taking  the 
field  against  such  overwhelming  odds.  And  in  addition 
to  the  certainty  of  detection,  the  penalty  inflicted  for 
offences  of  this  description  is  to  be  taken  into  the  account. 
Doubtless  many  employes  in  Post-offices  have  committed 
crimes  of  which  they  never  would  have  been  guilty  but 
for  a  mistaken  idea  of  security  from  the  punishment  to 
which  they  were  making  themselves  liable.  It  is  well 
for  all  to  be  correctly  informed  on  this  subject,  and  to 
know  that  offences  committed  against  this  Department 
are  not  lightly  dealt  with.  Information  of  this  character 
the  author  has  fully  supplied. 

Again — Comparatively  but  few  of  the  secret  modes 
of  detection  are  exhibited,  and  he  who  should  consider 
himself  safe  in  evading  what  plans  are  here  described, 
will  find  to  his  sorrow  that  he  has  made  a  most  danger¬ 
ous  calculation. 

As  to  the  second  objection  above  mentioned,  namely, 
the  danger  of  wounding  the  feelings  of  innocent  parties, 
the  author  would  observe  that  fictitious  names  of  persons 
and  places  are  generally  substituted  for  the  real  ones  ; 
thus  avoiding  any  additional  publicity  to  those  concerned 
in  the  cases  given.  And  furthermore,  he  ventures  to 


Vlll 


PREFACE. 


hope  that  few  of  the  class  to  which  this  objection  refers, 
would  refuse  to  undergo  such  a  trial  of  their  feelings,  if 
by  this  means  a  wholesome  warning  may  be  given  to 
those  who  need  it. 

There  are  other  wrongs  and  delinquencies  connected 
with  our  postal  system,  of  a  mischievous  and  immoral 
tendency,  and  of  crushing  effect  upon  their  authors, 
which,  although  not  in  all  cases  punishable  by  statute, 
yet  require  to  be  exposed  and  guarded  against.  Descrip¬ 
tions  of  some  of  the  most  ingenious  of  these  attempts  at 
fraud,  successful  and  unsuccessful,  are  also  here  held  up 
to  public  view. 

It  was  the  author’s  intention  to  give  two  or  three  chap¬ 
ters  of  an  historical  and  biographical  character, — a 
condensed  history  of  our  post-office  system,  with  some 
notice  of  that  of  other  countries,  and  brief  biographical 
sketches  of  our  Post  Masters  General.  But  matter 
essential  to  the  completeness  of  the  work  in  hand,  as 
illustrating  the  varieties  of  crime  in  connection  with 
post-offices,  has  so  accumulated,  that  the  chapters  re¬ 
ferred  to  could  not  be  introduced  without  enlarging  the 
volume  to  unreasonable  dimensions ;  and  the  author  has 
been  compelled  to  limit  his  biographies  of  the  Post  Mas¬ 
ters  General  to  a  short  chronological  notice  of  each  of 
those  officers. 


THE  POST  MASTERS  GENERAL. 


Under  the  Revolutionary  organization,  the  first  Post  Master 
General  was  Benjamin  Franklin.  He  was  experienced  in  its  duties, 
having  been  appointed  Post  Master  of  Philadelphia  in  1737,  and 
Deputy  Post  Master  General  of  the  British  Colonies  in  1753.  He  was 
removed  from  this  office,  to  punish  him  for  his  active  sympathies  with 
the  colonists ;  and  one  of  the  first  acts  of  their  separate  organization 
was  to  place  him  at  the  head  of  their  Post-Office  Department.  It  is 
a  singular  coincidence  that  this  eminent  philosopher,  who  cradled 
our  postal  system  in  its  infancy,  also,  by  first  bringing  the  electric 
fluid  within  the  power  of  man,  led  the  way  for  the  electric  telegraph, 
the  other  great  medium  for  transmitting  intelligence. 

The  necessities  of  the  Revolutionary  struggle,  demanded  the  abilities 
of  Franklin  for  another  sphere  of  action.  Richard  Bache,  his  son- 
in-law,  was  appointed  to  succeed  him  as  Post  Master  General,  in 
November,  1776.  He  was  succeeded  by  Ebenezer  Hazard,  who  sub¬ 
sequently  compiled  the  valuable  Historical  Collections  bearing  his 
name.  He  held  the  office  until  the  inauguration  of  President  Wash¬ 
ington’s  Administration. 

In  relation  to  the  several  Post  Masters  General,  since  the  adoption 
of  the  Federal  Constitution,  the  author  regrets  that  he  is  compelled, 
contrary  to  his  original  intention,  to  confine  himself  to  brief  chrono¬ 
logical  notes.  The  succession  is  as  follows: — 

1.  Samuel  Osgood. — Born  at  Andover,  Mass.,  Feb.  14,  1748. 
Graduated  at  Harvard  College  in  1770.  A  member  of  the  Massachu¬ 
setts  Legislature,  and  also  of  the  Board  of  War,  and  subsequently  an 
Aid  to  Gen.  Ward.  In  1779,  a  member  of  the  Massachusetts  Consti¬ 
tutional  Convention.  In  1781,  appointed  a  member  of  Congress; 
in  1785,  first  Commissioner  of  the  Treasury;  and  Sept.  26,  1789, 
Post  Master  General.  He  was  afterwards  Naval  Officer  of  the  port 
of  New  York,  and  died  in  that  city  Aug.  12,  1813. 


X 


THE  POST  MASTERS  GENERAL. 


2.  Timothy  Pickering. — Born  at  Salem,  Mass.,  July  17,  1746. 
Graduated  in  1763.  Was  Colonel  of  a  regiment  of  militia  at  the  age 
of  nineteen,  and  marched  for  the  seat  of  war  at  the  first  news  of  the 
battle  of  Lexington.  In  1775,  appointed  Judge  of  two  local  courts. 
In  the  fall  of  1776  marched  to  New  Jersey  with  his  regiment.  In 
1777  appointed  Adjutant-General ;  and  subsequently  a  member  of  the 
Board  of  War  with  Gates  and  Mifflin.  In  1780  he  succeeded  Greene 
as  Quarter  Master  General.  In  1790  he  was  employed  in  negotia¬ 
tions  with  the  Indians;  Aug.  12,  1791,  he  was  appointed  Post  Master 
General ;  in  1794,  Secretary  of  War ;  and  in  1795,  Secretary  of  State. 
From  1803  to  1811  he  was  Senator,  and  from  1814  to  1817,  Repre¬ 
sentative  in  Congress.  Died  at  Salem,  June  29,  1829. 

3.  Joseph  Habersham. — Born  in  1750.  A  Lieutenant  Colonel 
during  the  Revolutionary  War;  and  in  1785  a  member  of  Congress. 
Appointed  Post  Master  General  Feb.  25,  1795.  He  was  afterwards 
President  of  the  U.  S.  Branch  Bank  in  Savannah,  Georgia.  Died  at 
that  place  Nov.  1815. 

4.  Gideon  Granger. — Born  at  Suffield,  Ct.,  July  19,  1767.  Grad¬ 
uated  at  Yale  College  in  1787,  and  the  following  year  admitted  to 
the  Bar.  In  1793  elected  to  the  Connecticut  Legislature.  Nov.  28, 
1801,  appointed  Post  Master  General.  Retired  in  1814,  and  removed 
to  Canandaigua,  N.  Y.  April,  1819,  elected  a  member  of  the  Senate 
of  that  State,  but  resigned  in  1821,  on  account  of  ill  health.  During 
his  service  in  that  body  he  donated  one  thousand  acres  of  land  to  aid 
the  construction  of  the  Erie  Canal.  Died  at  Canandaigua,  Dec.  31, 
1822. 

5.  Return  Jonathan  Meigs. — Born  at  Middletown,  Ct.,  in  1765. 
Graduated  at  Yale  College  in  1785,  and  subsequently  admitted  to  the 
Bar.  In  1788  emigrated  to  Marietta,  Ohio,  then  the  North  Western 
Territory.  In  1790,  during  the  Indian  wars,  he  was  sent  by  Gov.  St. 
Clair  on  a  perilous  mission  through  the  wilderness  to  the  British  com¬ 
mandant  at  Detroit.  In  the  winter  of  1802-3,  he  was  elected  by  the 
Legislature  the  first  Chief  Justice  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  new 
State.  In  October,  1804,  he  was  appointed  Colonel  commanding  the 
United  States  forces  in  the  upper  district  of  the  Territory  of  Loui¬ 
siana,  and  resigned  his  judgeship.  In  the  following  year  he  was  ap¬ 
pointed  as  one  of  the  United  States  Judges  for  Louisiana.  April  2, 
1807,  he  was  transferred  to  the  Territory  of  Michigan.  In  October 
following  he  resigned  his  judgeship,  and  was  elected  Governor  of  the 
State  of  Ohio,  but  his  election  was  successfully  contested  on  the 
ground  of  non-residence.  He  was  chosen  at  the  same  session  as  one 


JTHE  TOST  MASTERS  GENERAL.  xi 

of  the  Judges  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  State ;  and  at  the  next 
session  as  United  States  Senator,  for  a  vacancy  of  one  year  and  also 
for  a  full  term.  In  1810  he  was  again  elected  Governor  of  Ohio,  and 
on  the  8th  of  December  resigned  his  seat  in  the  Senate.  In  1812  he 
was  re-elected  Governor.  On  the  17th  of  March,  1814,  he  was 
appointed  Post  Master  General,  which  he  resigned  in  June,  1823. 
Died  at  Marietta,  March  29,  1825. 

6.  John  McLean. — Born  in  Morris  Co.,  New  Jersey,  March  11, 
1785.  His  father  subsequently  removed  to  Ohio,  of  which  State  the 
son  continues  a  resident.  He  labored  on  the  farm  until  sixteen  years 
of  age,  when  he  applied  himself  to  study,  and  two  years  afterwards 
removed  to  Cincinnati,  and  supported  himself  by  copying  in  the  County 
clerk’s  office,  while  he  studied  law.  In  1807  he  was  admitted  to  the 
Bar.  In  1812  he  was  elected  to  Congress,  and  re-elected  in  1814.  In 
1816  he  was  unanimously  elected  by  the  Legislature,  a  Judge  of  the 
Supreme  Court  of  the  State.  In  1822  he  was  appointed  by  President 
Monroe,  Commissioner  of  the  General  Land  Office,  and  on  the  26th 
of  June,  1823,  Post  Master  General.  In  1829  he  was  appointed  as 
one  of  the  Justices  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  United  States,  which 
office  he  yet  holds. 

7.  William  T.  Barry. — Born  in  Fairfax  Co.,  Va.,  March  18,  1780. 
Graduated  at  the  College  of  William  and  Mary.  He  was  admitted  to 
the  Bar,  and  in  early  life  emigrated  to  Kentucky.  In  1828,  he  was 
a  candidate  for  Governor  of  that  State,  and  defeated  by  a  small 
majority,  after  one  of  the  most  memorable  contests  in  its  annals. 
Appointed  Post  Master  General  March  9,  1829.  In  1835  appointed 
Minister  Plenipotentiary  to  Spain,  and  died  at  Liverpool,  England,  on 
his  way  to  Madrid. 

8.  Amos  Kendall. — Born  at  Dunstable,  Mass.,  August  16,  1789. 
Graduated  at  Dartmouth  College  in  1811.  About  the  year  1812 
removed  to  Kentucky,  and  in  1815  was  appointed  post  master  at 
Georgetown,  in  that  state.  In  1816  he  assumed  the  editorial  charge 
of  the  Argus ,  published  at  Frankfort,  in  the  same  State,  which  he  con¬ 
tinued  until  1829,  being,  most  of  the  time,  State  Printer.  In  1829  he 
was  appointed  Fourth  Auditor  of  the  United  States  Treasury ;  and, 
May  1,  1835,  Post  Master  General.  He  resigned  the  latter  office  in 
1840,  and  has,  since  the  introduction  of  the  electric  telegraph,  been 
mainly  employed  in  connection  with  enterprises  for  its  operation.  He 
is  yet  living. 

9.  John  Milton  Niles. — Born  at  Windsor,  Ct.,  August  20,  1787. 
Admitted  to  the  Bar  in  December,  1812.  About  1816  he  removed  to 


THE  TOST  MASTERS  GENERAL.. 


•  • 

Xll 

Hartford,  and  was  one  of  the  first  proprietors  of  the  Hartford  Times , 
and  had  charge  of  its  editorial  columns  until  the  year  1820.  In  1821 
he  was  appointed  Judge  of  the  Hartford  County  Court,  which  office 
he  held  until  1829.  In  1826  he  represented  Hartford  in  the  Con¬ 
necticut  Legislature.  In  April,  1829,  he  was  appointed  post  master 
at  Hartford;  which  he  held  until  December,  1835,  when  he  was 
appointed  United  States  Senator  to  fill  a  vacancy,  and  in  the  ensuing 
May  was  elected  by  the  Legislature  for  the  remainder  of  the  term. 
In  1839  and  1840  he  was  supported  by  his  party,  though  without 
success,  for  the  office  of  Governor  of  the  State.  May  25,  1840,  he 
was  appointed  Post  Master  General.  In  1842  he  was  elected  United 
State  Senator  for  a  full  term.  Mr.  Niles  is  yet  living. 

10.  Francis  Granger.— Born  at  Suffield,  Ct.,  Dec.  1,  1792. 
Graduated  at  Yale  College  in  1811.  Admitted  to  the  Bar  in  May, 
1816.  He  was  elected  a  member  of  the  New  York  Legislature  in 
1825,  and  again  in  1826,  1827,  1829,  and  1831.  In  1828  he  was  a 
candidate  for  the  office  of  Lieutenant  Governor,  but  was  defeated ; 
and  in  1830  and  again  in  1832,  he  was  run  for  Governor,  with  the 
same  result.  In  1834  he  was  elected  to  Congress.  In  18ob  he  was  a 
candidate  for  Vice  President,  and  received  the  electoral  votes  of  the 
States  of  Massachusetts,  Vermont,  New  Jersey,  Delaware,  Ohio, 
Indiana,  and  Kentucky.  He  was  again  elected  to  Congress  in  1838 
and  in  1840.  Appointed  Post  Master  General  March  6,  1841,  but 
resigned  the  following  September.  His  successor  in  Congress  there¬ 
upon  resigned,  and  Mr.  Granger  was  again  elected  to  that  body.  On 
the  4th  of  March,  1843,  he  finally  retired  from  public  life,  but  is  yet 
living. 

11.  Charles  A.  Wicklieee.— Born  at  Bardstown,  Kentucky,  June 
8,  1788,  and  was  admitted  to- the  Bar  at  an  early  age.  He  was 
twice  elected  to  the  State  Legislature  during  the  war  of  1812.  He 
twice  volunteered  in  the  Northwestern  Army,  and  was  present  at  the 
Battle  of  the  Thames.  In  1820  he  was  again  elected  to  the  Legisla¬ 
ture.  In  1822  he  was  elected  to  Congress,  and  was  four  times  re¬ 
elected.  During  his  service  in  that  body,  he  was  appointed  by  the 
House  as  one  of  the  managers  in  the  impeachment  of  Judge  Peck. 
Upon  leaving  Congress,  in  1833,  he  was  again  elected  to  the  lower 
Dranch  of  the  State  Legislature ;  and,  upon  its  assembling,  was  chosen 
Speaker.  In  1834  he  was  elected  Lieutenant  Governor  of  the  State, 
and  in  1839,  by  the  death  of  Gov.  Clark,  he  became  Acting  Governor. 
He  was  appointed  Post  Master  General,  September  13,  1841.  In 
1849  he  was  chosen  as  a  delegate  to  the  Constitutional  Convention 


THE  POST  MASTERS  GENERAL.  Xlll 

of  Kentucky ;  and,  under  the  new  Constitution,  he  was  appointed  as 
one  of  the  Revisers  of  the  Statute  Laws  of  the  State.  He  is  yet 
living. 

12.  Cave  Johnson. — Born,  January  11,  1793,  in  Robertson  Co., 
Tennessee.  His  opportunities  for  education  were  limited,  but  made 
available  to  the  greatest  extent.  In  his  youth,  he  acted  as  deputy- 
clerk  of  the  County,  his  father  being  clerk.  He  was  thence  led  to 
the  study  of  the  law.  In  1813  he  was  appointed  Deputy  Quarter 
Master  in  a  brigade  of  militia  commanded  by  his  father,  and  marched 
into  the  Creek  nation  under  General  Jackson.  He  continued  in  this 
service  until  the  close  of  the  Creek  war  in  1814.  In  1816  he  was 
admitted  to  the  Bar.  In  1817  he  was  elected  by  the  Legislature  one 
of  the  Attorneys  General  of  the  State,  which  office  he  held  until 
elected  a  member  of  Congress  in  1829.  He  was  re-elected  in  1831, 
1833,  and  1835.  Defeated  in  1837.  Again  elected  in  1839,  1841,  and 
1843.  Appointed  Post  Master  Genei'al,  March  5,  1845.  In  1849  he 
served  for  a  few  months  as  one  of  the  Circuit  Judges  of  Tennessee ; 
and,  in  1853,  was  appointed  by  the  Governor  and  Senate  as  President 
of  the  Bank  of  Tennessee,  at  Nashville.  He  is  yet  living. 

13.  Jacob  Collamer. — Born  at  Troy,  N.  Y.,  about  1790,  and 
removed  in  childhood  to  Burlington,  Vt.,  with  his  father.  Graduated 
at  the  State  University  at  that  place  in  1810.  Served  during  the  year 
1812,  a  frontier  campaign,  as  a  lieutenant,  in  the  service  of  the  United 
States.  Admitted  to  the  Bar  in  1813.  Practised  law  for  twenty  years, 
serving  frequently  in  the  State  Legislature.  In  1833  he  was  elected 
an  Associate  Justice  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  State,  from  which 
position  he  voluntarily  retired  in  1842.  In  the  course  of  that  pei’iod, 
he  was  also  a  member  of  a  convention  held  to  revise  the  Constitution 
of  the  State.  In  1843  elected  to  Congress  to  fill  a  vacancy,  and  re¬ 
elected  for  a  full  term,  in  1844,  and  again  in  1846.  Appointed  Post 
Master  General  March  7th,  1849.  In  1850  he  was  again  elected  a 
Justice  of  the  Supreme  Court  of  Vermont ;  and  in  1854  he  was  chosen 
United  States  Senator,  which  office  he  now  holds. 

14.  Nathan  Kelsey  Hall. — Born  at  Skaneateles,  N.  Y.,  March 
28th,  1810.  Removed  to  Aurora  in  the  same  State  in  1826,  and  com¬ 
menced  the  study  of  the  law  with  Millard  Fillmore.  Removed 
with  the  latter  to  Buffalo  in  1830.  Admitted  to  the  Bar  in  1832. 
Appointed  First  Judge  of  the  Court  of  Common  Pleas  in  1841.  In 
1845  elected  a  member  of  the  State  Legislature,  and  in  1846  a  mem¬ 
ber  of  Congress.  He  was  appointed  Post  Master  General  July  20, 


XIV 


THE  POST  MASTERS  GENERAL. 


1850;  and,  in  1852,  United  States  Judge  for  the  Northern  District  of 
New  York,  which  office  he  now  holds. 

15.  Samuel  Dickinson  Hubbard. — Born  at  Middletown,  Ct., 
August  10,  1799.  Graduated  at  Yale  College  in  1819.  He  was  ad¬ 
mitted  to  the  Bar  in  1822,  but  subsequently  engaged  in  manufacturing 
enterprises.  He  was  Mayor  of  the  city  of  Middletown,  and  held  other 
offices  of  local  trust.  In  1845  he  was  elected  a  member  of  Congress, 
and  re-elected  in  1847.  He  was  appointed  Post  Master  General  Sep¬ 
tember  14,  1852.  Died  at  Middletown  October  8,  1855. 

16.  James  Campbell,  the  present  Post  Master  General  of  the  United 
States,  was  born  September  1,  1813,  in  the  city  of  Philadelphia,  Pa. 
Admitted  to  the  Bar  in  1834,  at  the  age  of  twenty-one  years.  In  1841, 
at  the  age  of  twenty-eight,  he  was  appointed  Judge  of  the  Common 
Pleas  Court  for  the  City  and  County  of  Philadelphia,  which  position  he 
occupied  for  the  term  of  nine  years.  In  1851,  when  the  Constitution  of 
the  State  was  changed,  making  the  Judiciary  elective,  he  was  nomi¬ 
nated  by  a  State  Convention  of  his  party  as  a  candidate  for  the  Bench 
of  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  State,  but  was  defeated  after  a  warmly 
contested  and  somewhat  peculiar  contest,  receiving  however  17G,000 
votes.  In  January,  1852,  he  was  appointed  Attorney  General  of 
Pennsylvania,  which  he  resigned  to  assume  the  duties  of  Post  Master 
General.  He  was  appointed  to  that  office  on  the  8th  of  March,  1853 


i 


CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  I. 

No  “Ear-Biters”  employed — The  Commission — A  whole  School 
robbed — Value  of  a  “quarter” — Embargo  on  Trunks — Unjust 
Suspicion — The  dying  Mother — Fidelity  of  Post  Masters — A 
venerable  pair  of  Officials — President  Pierce  assists — A  clue 
to  the  Robberies — The  Quaker  Coat — An  insane  Traveler — The 
Decoy  Letters — Off  the  Road — The  dancing  Horse — The  Decoy 
missing — An  official  Visit  by  night — Finding  the  marked  Bills — 

The  Confession — The  Arrest  .  .  .  •  .  .  Page  25 


CHAPTER  II. 

A  competent  Assistant — Yielding  to  Temptation — An  easy  Post 
Master — Whispers  of  Complaint — Assistant  embarrassed — Appli¬ 
cation  to  his  Uncle — The  Refusal — Value  of  a  kind  Word — Re¬ 
sort  to  Depredations — Evidences  of  Guilt — Decoy  Letter  taken — 

The  Bowling  Saloon — The  Agent  worsted — The  Restaurant — 
Bother  of  the  Credit  System — The  fatal  Bank-Note — Keen  Letter 
to  the  Agent- — The  Arrest — The  next  Meeting  .  .  .  .62 


CHAPTER  III. 

Business  Rivalry — Country  Gossiping — Museum  of  Antiquities 
— New  Post  Master — Serious  Rumors — Anonymous  Letters — 
Package  detained — Bar-room  Scene — Ramifications  of  the  Law — 
First  Citizens — Rascally  Enemies — Lawyer’s  Office — Gratuitous 
Backing — Telegraphing — U.  S.  Marshal  arrives — The  Charge — 
The  Fatal  Quarter — Enemies’  Triumph — The  Warrant — Singular 
Effects  of  Fear — A  Faithful  Wife — Sad  Memories — The  Squire’s 
Surprise — All  right  ......... 


2**  - 


(15) 


66 


XVI 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

High  Crimes  in  low  Places — Honest  Baggage-masters — Suspi¬ 
cious  Circumstances — Watching  the  Suspected — Shunning  the 
Dust — Honesty  Triumphant — An  Episode — Unexpected  Confes¬ 
sion — The  Night  Clerks — Conformity  to  Circumstances — Pat  the 
Porter — Absents  himself — Physician  consulted — The  Dead  Child 
— Hunting  Excursions — “No  Go” — Pat  explains  his  Absence — 

His  Discharge — The  Grave-stones — Stolen  Money  appears — The 
Jolly  Undertakers — Pat  at  the  Grave — More  Hunting — Firing  a 
Salute — Removing  the  Deposits — Crossing  the  Ferry — Scene  at 
the  Post-Office — Trip  to  Brooklyn — Recovery  of  Money — Escape 
— Encounter  with  a  Policeman — Searching  a  Steamer — Waking 
the  wrong  Passenger — Accomplices  detained — Luxuries  cut  off — 
False  Imprisonment  Suit — Michael  on  the  Stand — Case  dismissed  95 

CHAPTER  V. 

An  infected  District — A  “fast”  Route  Agent — Heavy  Bank 
Losses — Amateur  Experiments — Dangerous  Interference — A  Mo¬ 
ral  Lecture — The  Process  discovered — An  unwelcome  Stranger — 
Midnight  Watching — Monopoly  of  a  Car — Detected  in  the  Act — 

The  Robber  searched — His  Committal — A  supposed  Accomplice 
— The  Case  explained — Honesty  again  triumphant — Drafts  and 
Letters — A  long  Sentence — Public  Sympathy — A  Christian  Wife 
— Prison  Scenes-  -Faithful  to  the  last — An  interesting  Letter  122 

*  CHAPTER  VI. 

Safety  of  the  Mails — Confidence  shaken — About  Mail  Locks — 
Importance  of  Seals — City  and  Country — Meeting  the  Sus¬ 
pected — Test  of  Honesty — Value  of  a  String — A  dreary  Ride — 
Harmless  Stragglers — A  cautious  Official — Package  missing — An 
early  Customer — Newspaper  Dodge — Plain  Talk — A  Call  to 
Breakfast — Innocence  and  Crime — Suspicion  Confirmed — The 
big  Wafers — Finding  the  String — The  Examination — Escape  to 
Canada — A  true  Woman — The  Re-arrest — Letter  of  Consolation 
— The  Wife  in  Prison — Boring  Out — Surprise  of  the  Jailor — 
Killing  a  Horse . I3C 


CHAPTER  VII. 

Startling  Complaints — Character  against  Suspicion — The  two 
Clerks — Exchanging  Notes — The  Faro  Bank — Tracing  a  Bill — 

An  official  Call — False  Explanation — Flight  of  the  Guilty — The 
Fatal  Drug — The  Suicide — Sufferings  of  the  Innocent — The  Moral  152 


CONTENTS. 


XVI 1 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

A  NIGHT  IN  A  POST-OFFICE. 

Midnight  Mails — Suspected  Clerk — A  trying  Position — Limited 
View — A  “  crack”  Agent — Sneezing — “  Counter  Irritation” — The 
Night  Bell — Fruitless  Speculations — Insect  Orchestra — Picolo 
introduced — Snoring — Harmless  Accident — The  Boot-black — A 
tenanted  Boot — The  Exit  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .165 

CHAPTER  IX. 

Throwing  off  the  Cars — Fiendish  Recklessness — The  Boot- 
Tracks — A  Scamp  among  the  Printers — Obstruction  removed — 

A  Ruse — The  Boots  secured — “Big  Jobs” — The  Trial — Unrelia¬ 
ble  Witness — A  Life-Sentence  .......  172 

CHAPTER  X. 

STOPPING  A  POST-OFFICE. 

The  Unpaid  Draft — The  Forged  Order — A  Reliable  Witness — 
Giving  up  the  Mail  Key — A  Lady  Assistant — Post-Office  Recordsv 
The  official  Envelope — Return  of  the  Post  Master — The  Interview 
— Embarrassment  of  Guilt — Duplicate  Circular — Justice  secured  181 

CHAPTER  XI. 

Indian  Depredations — The  model  Mail  Contractor — Rifles  and 
Revolvers — Importance  of  a  Scalp — Indian  Chief  reconnoitering 
— Saving  dead  Bodies^ — Death  of  a  Warrior — The  Charge — A 
proud  Trophy — Sunset  on  the  Prairie — Animal  Life — A  solitary 
HunV— The  Buffalo  Chase — Desperate  Encounter  with  an  Indian 
— Ingenious  Signal — Returning  to  Camp — Minute  Guns — A  wel¬ 
come  Return  .  192 

CHAPTER  XII. 

Cheating  the  Clergy — Duping  a  Witness — Money  missing — 

A  singular  Postscript — The  double  Seal — Proofs  of  Fraud — The 
same  Bank-Note — “Post-Boy”  confronted — How  the  Game  was 
played — Moving  off  ........  201 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

Young  Offenders — Thirty  Years  ago — A  large  Haul — A  Ray  of 
Light . 206 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

OBSTRUCTING  THE  MAIL. 

A  sound  Principle — A  slow  Period — A  wholesome  Law — 

“  Ahead  of  the  Mail” — Moral  Suasion — Indignant  Passengers — 

Dutch  Oaths — A  Smash — Interesting  Trial — A  rowdy  Constable 

— The  Obstructors  mulcted  .  .  .  .  .  .  .  213 

2  * 


XV111 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

A  dangerous  Mail  Route— Wheat  Bran— A  faithful  Mail  Car¬ 
rier-Mail  Robber  shot — A  “Dead-head”  passenger — An  Old 
Offender — Fatal  Associate — Robbery  and  Murder — Conviction 
and  Execution — Capital  Punishment— Traveling  in  Mexico — 
Guerillas — Paying  over — The  Robbers  routed — A  “Fine  Young 
English  Gentleman” — The  right  stuff  .....  222 

CHAPTER  XVI. 

The  tender  Passion — Barnum’s  Museum— Little  Eva — The 
Boys  in  a  Box— The  Bracelet — Love  in  an  Omnibus — Losses  ex¬ 
plained  ...........  226 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

DETACHED  INCIDENTS. 

Bank  Letter  lost — The  Thief  decoyed — Post-Office  at  Midnight 
—Climbing  the  Ladder — An  exciting  Moment — Queer  Place  of 
Deposit — A  Post  Master  in  Prison — Afflicted  Friends — Sighs  and 
Saws — The  Culprit’s  Escape — How  it  was  done — A  cool  Letter — 

A  Wife’s  Offering— Moral  Gymnastics — Show  of  Honesty — Un¬ 
welcome  Suggestion — “A  hard  road  to  travel” — Headed  by  a 
Parson — Lost  Time  made  up — A  Male  overhauled  .  .  .  229 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

FRAUDS  CARRIED  ON  THROUGH  THE  MAILS. 

Sad  Perversion  of  Talent— Increase  of  Roguery — Professional 
Men  suffer — Young  America  at  the  “Bar”— Papers  from  Liver¬ 
pool — The  Trick  successful — A  legal  Document — Owning  up — A 
careless  Magistrate — Letters  from  the  Unduped — Victimizing 
the  Clergy — A  lithograph  Letter — Metropolitan  Sermons — An 
up-town  Church — A  Book  of  Travels — Natural  Reflections — 
Wholesome  Advice — The  Seed  Mania — Strong  Inducements — 
Barnes’  Notes — “  First  rate  Notice” — Farmer  Johnson — Wethers¬ 
field  outdone — Joab  missing — “Gift  Enterprise”- — List  of  Prizes 
— The  Trap  well  baited— Evading  the  Police — The  Scrub  Race  .  242 

CHAPTER  XIX. 

POST-OFFICE  SITES. 

Embarrassing  duty — An  exciting  Question — A  “  Hard  Case” 

• — Decease  of  a  Post  Master — The  Office  discontinued — The  Other 
side — Call  at  the  White  House — The  Reference — Agent’s  Arri¬ 
val — Molasses  Incident — An  honest  Child — Slicking  up — The 
Academy — Stuck  fast — The  Shoe  Factory — A  shrewd  Citizen — 


CONTENTS. 


XIX 


The  Saw  Mill — A  Tenantless  Building — Viewing  the  “Sites” — 
Obliging  Post  Master — The  defunct  Bank — A  Funeral  Scene — 

The  Agent  discovered — Exciting  Meeting — “  Restoration  Hall” 

— Eloquent  Appeals — A  Fire  Brand — Committee  on  Statistics — 
Generous  Volunteers — Being  “put  down” — Good-nature  restored 
— The  Bill  “settled” — A  Stage  Ride — Having  the  last  Word  264 

CHAPTER  XX. 

HARROWFORK  POST-OFFICE. 

A  gloomy  Picture — Beautiful  Village — Litigation  in  Harrow- 
fork — A  model  Post  Master — The  Excitement — Petitioning  the 
Department — Conflicting  Statements — The  decisive  Blow — The 
new  Post  Master — The  “Reliable  Man” — Indignant  Community 
— Refusal  to  serve — An  Editor’s  Candidate — The  Temperance 
Question — Newspaper  Extracts — A  Mongrel  Quotation — A  Lull 
— A  “  Spy  in  Washington”— Bad  Water — New  Congressmen — 

The  Question  revived — Delegate  to  Washington — Obliging  Down 
Easter — The  lost  Letters — Visit  to  the  Department — Astounding 
Discovery — Amusing  Scene — A  Congressman  in  a  “Fix” — The 
Difficulty  “  arranged”  ........  292 

CHAPTER  XXL 

UNJUST  COMPLAINTS. 

Infallibility  not  claimed — “  Scape-Goats” — The  Man  of  Busi¬ 
ness  Habits — Home  Scrutiny — A  Lady  in  Trouble— A  bold 
Charge — A  wronged  Husband — Precipitate  Retreat — Complaints 
of  a  Lawyer — Careless  Swearing — Wrong  Address— No  Retrac¬ 
tion — A  careless  Broker — The  Charge  repulsed — The  Apology — 
Mistake  repeated — The  Affair  explained — A  comprehensive  Toast  323 

CHAPTER  XXII. 

PRACTICAL,  ANECDOTAL,  ETC. 

The  wrong  Address — Odd  Names  of  Post-Offices — The  Post- 
Office  a  Detector  of  Crime — Suing  the  British  Government — 
Pursuit  of  a  Letter  Box — An  “Extra”  Customer — To  my  Grand¬ 
mother — Improper  Interference — The  Dead  Letter — Sharp  Cor¬ 
respondence — The  Irish  Heart — My  Wife’s  Sister  .  .  .  333 

CHAPTER  XXIII. 

Responsibility  of  Post  Masters  ......  349 

CHAPTER  XXIV. 

Official  Courtesy,  etc.  .......  853 


XX 


I 


CONTENTS. 


CHAPTER  XXV. 

Importance  of  Accuracy . 358 

CHAPTER  XXVI. 

Post  Masters  as  Directories — Novel  Applications — The  Butter 
Business — A  Thievish  Family — “  Clarinda”  in  a  City — Decoying 
with  Cheese — Post  Master’s  Response — A  Truant  Husband — 
Woman’s  Instinct  .  .360 

CHAPTER  XXVII. 

A  Windfall  for  Gossipers — Suit  for  Slander — Profit  and  Loss — 

The  Resuscitated  Letter — Condemned  Mail  Bag — An  Epistolary 
Rip  Van  Winkle . 365 

CHAPTER  XXVIII. 

\ 

VALENTINES. 

Their  Origin — Degeneration — Immoral  Influence — Incitement 


to  Dishonesty . 368 

CHAPTER  XXIX. 

The  Clairvoyant  Discovery  .  .  .  .  .  .  .375 

CHAPTER  XXX. 

Poetical  and  Humorous  Addresses  upon  Letters  .  .  .  381 

CHAPTER  XXXI. 

Origin  of  the  Mail  Coach  Service  .....  390 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 

Evasion  of  the  Post-Office  Laws . 392 

CHAPTER  XXXIII. 

Post-Office  Paul  Prys . 394 


-  Special  Agents 

CHAPTER  XXXIV. 

*•••••• 

.  397 

Route  Agents 

CHAPTER  XXXV. 

•  •••••• 

.  403 

Decoy  Letters 

CHAPTER  XXXVI. 

*•••••• 

ff 

.  409 

SUPPLEMENTARY  CHAPTER. 
Practical  Information — Post-Office  Laws — Improved 
Case 

Letter 

INTRODUCTION- 


A  Mail  Bag  is  an  epitome  of  human  life.  All  the  elements  which 
go  to  form  the  happiness  or  misery  of  individuals — the  raw  material 
so  to  speak,  of  human  hopes  and  fears — here  exist  in  a  chaotic  state 
These  elements  are  imprisoned,  like  the  winds  in  the  fabled  cave  of 
AEolus,  “biding  their  time”  to  go  forth  and  fulfil  their  office,  whether 
it  be  to  refresh  and  invigorate  the  drooping  flower,  or  to  bring  destruc¬ 
tion  upon  the  proud  and  stately  forest-king. 

Well  is  it  for  the  peace  of  mind  of  those  who  have  in  temporary 
charge  these  discordant  forces,  that  they  cannot  trace  the  course  of 
each  mir.sive  as  it  passes  from  their  hands.  For  although  many 
hearts  are  made  glad  by  these  silent  messengers,  yet  in  every  day’s 
mail  there  is  enough  of  sadness  and  misery,  lying  torpid  like  serpents, 
until  warmed  into  venomous  life  by  a  glance  of  the  eye,  to  cast  a 
gloom  over  the  spirits  of  any  one  who  should  know  it  all ;  and  to  add 
new  emphasis  to  the  words  of  the  wise  man,  “  He  that  increaseth 
knowledge,  increaseth  sorrow.”  But  until  they  are  released  from 
their  temporary  captivity,  the  letters  guard  in  grim  silence  their 
varied  contents.  Joy  and  sorrow  as  yet  have  no  voice ;  vice  and  crime 
are  yet  concealed,  running,  like  subterranean  streams,  from  the  mind 
which  originated,  to  the  mind  which  is  to  receive  their  influence.  Tho 
mail  bag  is  as  great  a  leveller  as  the  grave,  and  it  is  only  by  the 
superscription  in  either  case,  that  one  occupant  can  be  distinguished 
from  the  other. 

But  leaving  these  general  speculations,  let  us  give  more  particular 
attention  to  the  motley  crowd  “in  durance  vile.”  If  each  one  pos¬ 
sessed  the  power  of  uttering  audibly  the  ideas  which  it  contains,  a 
confusion  of  tongues  would  ensue,  worthy  of  the  last  stages  of  the 
tower  of  Babel,  or  of  a  Woman’s  Bights  convention.  Indeed  matters 

(21) 


XXII 


INTRODUCTION. 


would  proceed  within  these  leathern  walls,  very  much  as  they  do  in 
the  world  at  large.  The  portly,  important  “money  letter,”  would 
look  with  contempt  upon  the  modest  little  billet-doux ,  and  the  aristo¬ 
cratic,  delicately-scented,  heraldically-sealed  epistle,  would  recoil  from 
the  touch  of  its  roughly  coated,  wafer-secured  neighbor,  filled  to  the 
brim,  perhaps,  with  affections  as  pure,  or  friendship  as  devoted  as 
ever  can  be  found  under  coverings  more  polished.  Would  that  the 
good  in  one  missive,  might  counteract  the  evil  in  another,  for  here  is 
one  filled  with  the  overflowings  of  a  mother’s  heart,  conveying 
language  of  entreaty  and  remonstrance, — perhaps  the  traces  of 
anxious  tears, — to  the  unwary  youth  who  is  beginning  to  turn  aside 
from  the  path  of  rectitude,  and  to  look  with  wishful  eyes  upon  for¬ 
bidden  ground.  Need  enough  is  there  of  this  message  to  strengthen 
staggering  resolution,  to  overpower  the  whispers  of  evil ;  for  close  by 
are  the  suggestions  of  a  vicious  companion,  lying  in  wait  to  lure  him 
on  to  vice,  and  to  darken  the  light  of  love  which  hitherto  has  guided 
his  steps. 

In  one  all-embracing  receptacle,  the  strife  of  politics  is  for  a  time 
unknown.  Epistles  of  Whigs,  Democrats,  Pro  and  Anti-Slavery  men 
lie  calmly  down  together,  like  the  lion  and  the  lamb,  (if  indeed  we 
can  imagine  anything  lamb-like  in  political  documents,)  ready,  how¬ 
ever,  to  start  up  in  their  proper  characters  like 'Satan  at  the  touch 
of  Ithuriel’s  spear,  and  to  frown  defiance  upon  their  late  companions. 
Theological  animosity,  too,  lies  spell-bound.  Orthodoxy  and  Hetero¬ 
doxy,  Old  and  Netv  School,  Protestant  and  Catholic,  Free  Thinkers 
and  No  Thinkers,  are  held  in  paper  chains,  and  cease  to  lacerate  one 
another  with  controverted  points.  Nor  in  this  view  of  dormant 
pugnacity,  should  that  important  constituent,  the  Law,  be  left  out 
of  sight.  An  opinion  clearly  establishing  the  case  of  A.  B.  unsuspect¬ 
ingly  reposes  by  the  side  of  another  utterly  subverting  it,  thus  placing, 
or  about  to  place,  the  unfortunate  A.  B.  in  the  condition  of  a  wall 
mined  by  its  assailants,  and  counter-mined  by  its  defenders,  quite 
sure  (to  use  a  familiar  phrase,)  of  “bursting  up”  in  either  case.  And 
the  unconscious  official  who  “  distributes”  these  missiles,  might  well 
exclaim,  if  he  knew  the  contents,  “  cry  havoc,  and  let  slip  the  dogs 
of  war.” 

But  we  come  to  another  discord  in  our  miniature  life-orchestra. 
Those  all-embracing,  ever-sounding  tones,  which  lie  at  the  two  ex¬ 
tremities  of  the  “  diapason  of  humanity,”  namely,  Life  and  Death, 
here  find  their  representatives.  Here  lies  a  sable-edged  missive, 
speaking  to  the  eye  as  the  passing  bell  speaks  to  the  ear,  telling  of 
blighted  happiness,  a  desolate  home,  and  loving  hearts  mourning  and 


INTRODUCTION. 


XXlll 


refusing  to  be  comforted  because  the  loved  one  is  not ;  while  close  at 
hand  and  perchance  overlying  the  sad  messenger,  is  the  announce¬ 
ment  of  another  arrival  upon  the  stage  of  life — Our  First — and  though 
it  is  as  yet  behind  the  curtain,  not  having  made  its  bow  to  the  world 
at  large,  is  an  important  character  in  the  green  room ;  and  the  aid 
of  that  convenient  individual,  Uncle  Sam,  is  invoked  to  convey  the 
information  of  its  advent  to  a  circle  of  expectant  friends,  as  highly 
favored  as  that  select  few  who  are  sometimes  invited  to  witness  a 
private  performance  by  some  newly-arrived  artist,  before  he  makes 
his  appearance  in  a  more  public  manner. 

Nor  should  We  omit  at  least  a  passing  notice  of  the  humorous 
aspects  of  our  Bag.  Physiognomy  will  not  go  far  in  aiding  us  to 
determine  as  to  a  given  letter,  whether  its  contents  are  grave  or  gay. 
A  well-ordered  epistle,  like  a  highly  bred  man,  does  not  show  on  its 
face  the  emotions  which  it  may  contain.  But  in  what  we  may  call 
the  lower  class  of  letters,  where  nature  is  untrammeled  by  envelopes, 
and  eccentricity  or  unskilfulness  display  themselves  by  the  various 
shapes  and  styles  in  which  the  documents  are  folded  and  directed, 
there  is  more  room  for  speculation  on  their  internal  character ;  and  it 
is  the  author’s  intention  to  furnish  some  rare  specimens  of  unconscious 
humor  of  this  kind,  for  the  delectation  of  his  readers. 

As  we  contemplate  the  wit,  fun,  humor,  and  jollity  of  all  sorts, 
which  lie  dormant  within  these  wrappages,  we  are  tempted  to  retract 
our  commiseration  for  the  imaginary  official  whom  we  have  supposed 
to  know  the  contents  of  the  letters  in  his  charge,  and  therefore  drag 
out  a  miserable  existence  under  their  depressing  influence.  At  least 
we  feel  impelled  to  modify  our  remarks  so  far  as  to  say  that  in  the 
case  supposed,  his  days  would  be  passed  in  alternate  cachinnations 
and  sympathizing  grief.  He  would  become  a  storehouse  of  wit,  a 
magazine  of  humor.  For  there  is  much  of  wit,  humor,  and  jollity 
running  through  these  secret  channels,  that  never  is  diffused  through 
the  medium  of  the  press,  but  flows  among  the  privacies  of  domestic 
circles,  adding  life  to  their  intercourse,  and  increasing  the  attractions 
of  social  fellowship,  like  some  sparkling  stream,  both  refreshing  and 
adorning  the  landscape  through  which  it  takes  its  course. 

We  leave  the  further  development  of  this  prolific  train  of  thought, 
to  the  reader’s  imagination.  Yet  the  imagination  can  devise  no  com¬ 
bination  more  strange  than  those  which  may  be  found  every  day 
within  the  narrow  precincts  of  which  we  have  been  speaking ;  and  the 
same  may  be  said  of  the  Post-Office  system  at  large,  interwoven  as  it 
is  with  the  whole  social  life  of  civilized  man. 


xxiv  INTRODUCTION. 

The  laws  of  the  land  are  intended  not  only  to  presei’ve  the  person 
and  material  property  of  every  citizen  sacred  from  intrusion,  but  to 
secure  the  privacy  of  his  thoughts,  so  far  as  he  sees  fit  to  withhold 
them  from  others.  Silence  is  as  great  a  privilege  as  speech,  and  it  is 
as  important  that  every  one  should  be  able  to  maintain  it  whenever 
he  pleases,  as  that  he  should  be  at  liberty  to  utter  his  thoughts  with¬ 
out  restraint.  Now  the  post-office  undertakes  to  maintain  this 
principle  with  regard  to  written  communications  as  they  are  conveyed 
from  one  person  to  another  through  the  mails.  However  unimportant 
the  contents  of  a  letter  may  be,  the  violation  of  its  secrecy  while  it  is 
in  charge  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  or  even  after  having  left  its 
custody,  becomes  an  offence  of  serious  magnitude  in  the  eye  of  the 
law ;  and  as  the  quantity  and  importance  of  mail  matter  is  con¬ 
tinually  increasing,  it  has  been  found  necessary  to  adopt  means  for 
its  security,  which  were  not  required  in  the  earlier  history  of  the 
Post-Office.  One  kind  of  danger  to  which  the  mails  were  exposed 
before  the  days  of  railroads  and  steamboats,  namely,  highway  robbery, 
is  now  almost  unknown.  The  principal  danger  at  present  to  be 
apprehended,  is  from  those  connected  with  their  transportation  and 
delivery,  and  a  system  of  surveillance  has  been  adopted,  suited  to  the 
exigency  of  the  case,  namely,  the  creation  of  Special  Agents,  who 
have  become  a  fixed  “institution,”  likely  to  be  essential  to  the  effi¬ 
ciency  of  the  Department,  as  long  as  any  of  its  employes  are  deficient 
in  principle  or  honesty.  The  origin  of  this  Special  Agent  System 
will  be  given  elsewhere.  It  is  sufficient  to  say  here,  that  the  curious 
developments  of  character,  and  combinations  of  circumstances,  which 
will  be  found  in  the  following  pages,  were  mainly  brought  to  light  by 
the  operation  of  this  system,  as  carried  out  by  one  of  its  Agents. 
“Ten  years”  of  experience  have  given  the  author  (or  at  least  ought 
to  have  given  him)  an  ample  supply  of  material  for  the  illustration  of 
nearly  every  phase  in  Post-Office  life.  His  principal  difficulty  is  the 
“  emb arras  des  richesses  ;”  yet  he  has  endeavored  to  select  such  cases 
as  are  not  only  interesting  in  themselves,  but  well  calculated  to  benefit 
those  for  whose  use  the  present  work  is  especially  designed. 


THE  COMMISSION. 


27 


future  Post  Master  General  against  tliis  class  of  officers,  al¬ 
though  such  disorderly  and  disgraceful  conduct  was  cleany 
the  fault  of  the  individuals  who  indulged  in  it,  and  not  of  the 
corps  or  system,  with  which  they  were  connected.  And  I 
would  here  say,  in  justice  to  this  body  of  Agents,  that  many 
of  them  were  gentlemen  of  intelligence  and  discretion,  who 
would  he  far  from  countenancing  such  proceedings  as  have  just 
been  mentioned. 

When,  therefore,  in  the"  year  above  designated,  the  writer 
found  himself  in  possession  of  a  Special  Agent's  Commission, 
signed  by  the  same  gentleman,  as  “  Post  Master  General/'  and 
rendered  impressive  by  the  broad  seal  of  that  Department, 
which  represented  a  2.40  steed  rushing  madly  along,  with  a 
post-rider  on  his  back,  and  the  mail  portmanteau  securely  at¬ 
tached, — when  he  received  accompanying  instructions  to  look 
into  the  alarming  state  of  things  on  the  route  aforesaid — his 
leading  thought  and  ambition  was  to  satisfy  the  distinguished 
Tennessean  that  a  Special  Agent  could  catch  a  mail  robber  by 
the  ear  quite  as  readily  as  a  political  antagonist,  and  apply 
the  knife  of  justice  to  those  whose  case  required  it,  with  at 
least  as  much  courage  and  skill  as  could  be  displayed  in  the 
matter  of  disabling  belligerent  u  shoulder  hitters"  at  the  bal¬ 
lot  boxes. 

How  much  the  result  of  this  first  investigation,  after  the 
restoration  of  the  u  ear-biters"  (as  they  were  then  sometimes 
facetiously  called,)  had  to  do  with  the  radical  change  in-  opin¬ 
ion  and  action,  noticeable  in  certain  quarters,  as  to  the  utility 
and  indispensable  necessity  of  this  “  right  arm"  of  the  Depart¬ 
ment,  it  may  not  be  advisable,  nor  indeed  modest,  to  inquire. 

The  depredations  in  the  case  thus  placed  in  my  hands  for 
investigation,  were  seemingly  very  bold,  although  from  the 
length  of  the  route,  and  the  number  of  post-offices  thereon,  the 
rogue  had  no  doubt  flattered  himself  that  it  would  take  a  long 
time  to  trace  him  out,  even  if  Government  should  conde¬ 
scend  to  notice  the  complaints  which  he  might  suppose  would 
be  made  at  head-quarters.  It  is  also  possible  that  he  was 


28 


A  WHOLE  SCHOOL  ROBBED. 


encouraged  to  this  course  of  rascality  by  the  belief  that  the 
Department  bad  no  officials  whose  particular  business  it  was 
to  be  “  a  terror  to  evil-doers/'  and  that  he  could  easily  elude 
the  efforts  of  those  no  more  experienced  than  himself  in  the 
crooks  and  turns  through  which  every  villain  is  compelled  to 
slink. 

The  letters  stolen  were  principally  addressed  to  the  mem¬ 
bers  of  a  large  and  flourishing  literary  institution,  situated  in 
the  town  already  mentioned,  and  embracing  in  its  catalogue 
pupils  of  both  sexes  from  almost  every  section  of  the  Union. 
So  keen  was  the  scent  of  the  robber,  that,  like  an  animated 
u  divining  rod/'  he  could  indicate  unerringly  the  existence  of 
gold,  or  its  equivalent  beneath  the  paper  surface  soil,  and  he 
u  prospected’'  with  more  certainty,  though  less  honesty,  than 
a  California  miner.  From  all  the  mail-matter  passing  through 
his  office,  he  would  invariably  select  the  valuable  packages, 
abstracting  their  material  contents,  and,  as  it  afterwards 
appeared,  committing  the  letters  to  the  flames.  “  Dead  men 
tell  no  tales."  Neither  do  burnt  letters. 

The  results  of  this  system  of  robbery,  as  regarded  those  who 
suffered  by  it,  were  somewhat  peculiar.  The  abstraction  of 
an  equal  amount  from  the  members  of  a  business  community, 
might  have  inconvenienced  some,  but  would  have  made  little 
perceptible  difference  in  the  course  of  business.  The  tempo¬ 
rary  deficiency  would  have  been  as  little  felt,  on  the  whole,  as 
the  withdrawing  of  a  pail-full  of  water  from  a  running  stream. 
The  level  is  quickly  restored,  as  supplies  flow  in. 

But  when  the  victims  of  dishonesty  are  youth  pursuing 
their  studies  at  a  distance  from  home,  and  depending  on 
remittances  from  their  parents  and  friends  for  the  means  of 
discharging  the  debts  which  they  may  incur,  the  case  is 
widely  different.  Here  the  stream  is  dammed  up  somewhere 
between  its  source  and  the  place  where  the  waters  ought  to  be 
flowing,  and  the  worst  description  of  drought — a  drought  of 
money — ensues. 

All  sorts  of  consequences,  in  the  present  instance,  followed 


VALUE  OF  A  “QUARTER.” 


29 


this  state  of  things.  The  school  became,  in  this  particular; 
like  a  besieged  city,  cut  off  from  supplies  from  without,  while 
its  inhabitants  lived  on  under  an  ever  increasing  pressure  of 
difficulties,  which  made  premature  Micawbers  of  the  unfortu¬ 
nate  aspirants  to  that  temple  which  is  so  artistically  repre¬ 
sented  in  the  frontispiece  to  Webster’s  spelling  book,  as  sur¬ 
mounting  the  hill  of  Science,  and  animated  by  the  figure  of 
Fame  on  the  roof,  proclaiming  through  her  trumpet  a  per¬ 
petual  invitation  to  enter  the  majestic  portals  beneath. 

The  possessor  of  money,  received,  under  these  circumstances, 
a  greater  degree  of  consideration  than  is  usually  accorded  to 
the  millionaire  in  the  world  at  large.  The  owner  of  a  “  quar¬ 
ter”  had  troops  of  friends,  and  became  purse-proud  on  the 
strength  of  that  magnificent  coin.  Happy  was  he  who  had 
unlimited  “tick;”  to  whose  call  livery-stable  keepers  were 
obsequious,  and  with  whom  tailors  were  ready  to  in  vest,  having 
faith  to  believe  that  the  present  dry  aspect  of  the  financial 
sky  would  be  succeeded  by  refreshing  showers  of  “  mint-drops” 
from  the  paternal  pockets.  Some  of  the  young  ladies  who 
had  invoked  the  milliner’s  assistance  in  defiance  of  the  poet’s 
line — “  Beauty  unadorned,  &c.,”  occasionally  received  hiuts 
respecting  the  settlement  of  their  trifling  accounts,  which 
materially  diminished  the  pleasure  that  they  would  otherwise 
have  felt  in  the  contemplation  of  their  outer  adornments. 
Bonnets  reminded  them  of  bills,  and  dresses  of  duns. 

The  more  juvenile  portion  of  our  scholastic  community,  too, 
felt  the  pressure  of  the  “  hard  times”  which*  some  invisible 
hand  had  brought  upon  them.  In  early  li$i,  the  saccharine 
bump  is  largely  developed,  but  unlike  other  organs  described 
by  phrenologists,  this  is  within  the  mouth,  and  is  commonly 
called  the  “  sweet  tooth.”  Those  luxurious  youth  who  had 
hitherto  indulged  the  cravings  of  this  organ  ad  libitum ,  or  as 
far  as  they  could  do  so  without  the  knowledge  of  their  teach¬ 
ers,  found  the  wary  confectioners  unwilling  longer  to  satisfy 
their  unsophisticated  appetites,  without  more  “indemnity  for 
3  * 

BOSTON  COLLEGE  LILSiUKZ 
CHEbTH  UX  HILL,  MA38. 


I  1 

30  COLLATERAL  SECURITY. 

the  past”  if  not  u  security  for  the  future,”  than  they  had  yet 
furnished. 

So  these  victims  of  raging  desire  were  compelled  to  retire 
hungry  from  untasted  luxuries,  not  without  sundry  candid 
expressions  of  their  feelings  toward  the  obdurate  retailers  of 
sweets,  and  tart  replies  from  those  individuals.  Their  only 
consolation  was  to  revel  in  dreams  in  which  the  temple  of 
Fame  was  supported  by  pillars  of  candy,  with  a  protuberant 
pie  for  a  dome;  while  her  trumpet  was  converted  into  a 
cornucopia  from  which  unfailing  streams  of  sugar-plums  were 
issuing. 

But  such  annoyances  and  inconveniences  as  have  been  enu¬ 
merated  were  trifling,  compared  with  other  consequences 
which  resulted  from  this  prolonged  and  systematic  robbery  of 
the  mails.  It  is  hard  for  one  who  never  had  his  word  doubted, 
to  learn  by  unmistakeable  indications  that  his  story  of  money 
expected  and  not  received,  is  disbelieved  by  an  impatient 
creditor,  who  perhaps  hints  that  the  money  has  come  and  gone 
in  some  other  direction  than  that  which  it  should  have  taken. 
The  honorable  pride  of  some  was  wounded  in  this  manner, 
and  much  ill-feeling  arose  between  those  who  had  hitherto  re¬ 
garded  each  other  with  mutual  respect. 

The  term  of  the  school  was  just  closing,  and  worthy  Mrs. 
K.,  who  had  several  of  the  pupils  as  boarders  in  her  family, 
being  blessed  with  a  rather  large  organ  of  caution,  refused  to 
allow  one  or  two  to  leave  (who  did  not  expect  to  return  the 
next  term,)  without  depositing  some  collateral  security  for  the 
payment  of  their  board-bills.  Those  luckless  youth  had 
written  again  and  again  for  the  money  necessary  to  settle  their 
accounts  in  the  place;  but  their  entreaties  were  apparently 
unnoticed  and  unanswered.  They  were  in  the  condition  of 
Mr.  Pecksniff’s  pupils,  who  were  requested  by  their  preceptor 
to  ring  the  boll  which  was  in  their  room,  if  they  wanted  any¬ 
thing.  They  often  did  so,  but  nobody  ever  answered  it.  It 
very  naturally  seemed  almost  incredible  to  Mrs.  K.  that  the 
parents  of  her  boarders  should  neglect  to  provide  for  the  vari- 


*. 


EMBARGO  ON  TRUNKS. 


31 


ous  expenses  which  arise  at  the  close  of  a  school  term,  espe¬ 
cially  as  these  pupils  were  not  to  return.  So  the  good  lady 
felt  bound  by  her  duty  to  herself  to  lay  an  embargo  upon  their 
trunks,  and  she  further  took  occasion  to  observe  that  if  there 
hadn’t  been  so  much  horseback  ridiDg,  &c.,  during  the  sum¬ 
mer,  her  bill  could  have  been  settled.  This  of  course  pro¬ 
voked  an  angry  retort,  and  suspicion  smouldered  on  one  side, 
and  resentment  flamed  out  on  the  other,  until  the  whole  mys¬ 
tery  was  unravelled. 

In  another  boarding-house,  inhabited  by  pupils  of  both 
sexes,  it  had  been  customary  for  some  of  their  number  to  get 
from  the  post-office  the  letters  and  papers  sent  to  them,  and 
this  duty  had  lately  devolved,  for  the  most  part,  on  one  per¬ 
son,  Henry  S.,  who  was  a  relation  of  the  post  master,  and,  from 
other  circumstances,  had  frequent  occasion  to  visit  the  office. 
As  he  returned  almost  empty-handed  of  letters  from  day  to 
day,  his  disappointed  fellow-boarders  at  first  wondered  at  the 
silence  of  their  friends,  then  suspicion  began  to  work  in  their 
minds;  and  since  the  post  master  was  a  man  of  unsullied  honor, 
and  entirely  reliable  for  honesty,  they  at  length  reluctantly 
admitted  the  supposition  that  Henry  S.  must  be  the  delinquent. 

Acting  on  the  ground  that  S.  was  the  guilty  one,  his  fellow- 
boarders  gave  orders  to  the  post  master,  forbidding  the  delivery 
of  their  letters  to  him.  So  the  next  day,  when  he  presented 
himself  at  the  office,  he  was  thunderstruck  by  the  information 
that  he  had  lost  the  confidence  of  his  fellow-pupils,  and  that 
they  would  no  longer  trust  their  letters  in  his  hands. 

“  It  can’t  be,”  exclaimed  he,  “  that  they  suppose  I  took 
their  letters.” 

“  I  guess  they  do,”  said  the  old  post  master;  “but  I  think 
they  had  better  be  sure  that  there  were  letters  coming  to  them, 
before  they  suspect  you.” 

“  Oh,  now  I  see  why  they  have  acted  so  strangely,  lately, 
just  as  if  they  didn’t  want  me  around.  I  never  once  thought 
that  this  was  the  reason  of  it.” 

From  that  time,  he  withdrew  himself  as  much  as  possible 


312 


I 


UNJUST  SUSPICION,. 


from  the  society  of  his  fellow-pupils,  stung  by  a  sense  of  their 
injustice,  and  cherishing  anything  but  amiable  feelings  towards 
them ;  yet  he  did  not  escape  sundry  taunts  and  flings  at  his 
character  for  honesty,  from  the  maliciously  disposed.  And 
although  those  who  had  regarded  him  with  suspicion,  frankly 
acknowledged  their  error  when  the  true  culprit  came  to  light, 
yet  it  was  long  before  he  could  entirely  forgive  them  the  deep 
mortification  they  had  caused  him. 

Nor  were  such  cases  as  this  the  worst  that  occurred. 

There  was  a  boy  in  the  school,  “  the  only  child  of  his 
mother,  and  she  was  a  widow. ”  The  lad  was  quick  in  intel¬ 
lect,  amiable  in  disposition,  and  a  general  favorite  throughout 
the  institution.  He  loved  his  mother  with  a  strength  of  affec¬ 
tion  not  often  surpassed,  and  it  was  fully  responded  to,  by 
his  tender  parent.  The  frequent  visits  which  she  made  him 
during  his  residence  at  the  school  had  given  her  opportunities 
to  become  acquainted  with  many  of  her  son’s  young  compan¬ 
ions,  as  well  as  with  his  teachers,  so  that  she  was  quite  well 
known  in  the  little  community. 

Let  us  place  ourselves  at  the  residence  of  Mrs.  E.  (the  lady 
in  question,)  some  hundred  miles  away.  She  is  lying  upon  a 
sick-bed,  from  which  she  will  never  arise.  Let  us  listen  to 
the  conversation  between  her  and  her  attendant. 

“  Has  the  train  come  up  yet,  Mary?” 

“Yes,  ma’am,  it  passed  a  few  minutes  ago,  but  Charley 
hasn’t  come.” 

“  Of  course  he  hasn’t,  he  would  have  been  in  my  arms  be¬ 
fore  this,  if  he  had.” 

“  Perhaps,”  suggests  Mary,  “  he  will  be  here  by  the  next 
train.” 

“  God  grant  he  may,”  groans  the  dying  mother.  “  It  is 
now  more  than  a  week  since  they  first  wrote  to  him,  telling 
him  that  I  was  very  sick,  and  requesting  him  to  come  imme¬ 
diately.  Oh,  what  can  keep  him  away  so  long  ?  I  fear  he  is 
x  sick  himself.  Some  one  must  go  to-morrow,  and  find  out 


THE  DYING  MOTHER. 


o»» 
Ot5 

what  it  is  that  keeps  him  from  me.  I  cannot  die  without  see¬ 
ing  him  once  more.” 

While  this  mother  was  struggling  with  disease,  and  with 
that  “hope  deferred”  that  “maketli  the  heart  sick,”  her  son 
was  pursuing  his  daily  round  of  studies  and  amusements,  anti¬ 
cipating  with  delight  his  return  home  at  the  close  of  the  term. 
We  may  imagine  the  grief  and  distress  of  the  poor  hoy  when 
his  uncle,  who  came  for  him,  told  him  how  the  friends  at 
home  had  written  to  him  twice,  each  time  enclosing  him  the 
requisite  funds  to  bear  his  expenses  home,  that  there  might 
be  no  delay  from  that  cause.  And  how  his  mother’s  only  wish, 
as  she  now  lay  rapidly  sinking,  was  to  see  once  more  her  be¬ 
loved  Charley. 

Off  they  went,  the  boy  and  his  uncle,  on  iron  wings, — but 
the  wing  of  the  Death-Angel  was  swifter,  and  before  they 
arrived  at  the  place  of  their  destination,  had  cast  its  awful 
shadow  over  the  mother’s  brow. 

It  will  easily  be  believed  that  the  failure  of  so  many  letters 
to  reach  those  for  whom  they  were  intended,  excited  no  small 
degree  of  uneasiness  in  the  minds  of  the  parents  and  friends 
of  the  pupils;  and  in  some  instances,  such  was  their  alarm 
and  anxiety,  that  journeys  of  hundreds  of  miles  were  under¬ 
taken  in  order  to  learn  why  their  letters  were  not  received, 
and  why  they  heard  nothing  from  those  to  whom  they  wrote; 
for  the  unknown  author  of  all  this  trouble  and  confusion,  in 
order  to  prevent  discovery,  often  destroyed  the  letters  passing 
both  ways. 

I  cannot  here  refrain  from  saying  a  few  words  respecting 
the  heinousness  of  such  villanous  conduct  on  the  part  of  post 
masters  or  their  employes.  Leaving  out  of  sight  the  fact 
that  they  are  sworn  to  do  nothing  contrary  to  the  laws,  in  their 
official  capacity,  and  that  if  they  incur  the  guilt  of  a  breach 
of  trust,  they  also  become  guilty  of  perjury,  it  should  be  con¬ 
sidered  that  the  well-being  of  community  in  all  its  relations, 
domestic,  social,  commercial,  and  literary,  depends  on  the  fidel¬ 
ity  with  which  they  discharge  the  duties  of  their  office. 


i 


FIDELITY  OF  POSTMASTERS. 


34 


MucL  confidence  is  reposed  in  them  by  the  public,  and  I  am 
happy  to  say,  that  in  comparatively  few  instances  is  this  con¬ 
fidence  misplaced.  But  in  consequence  of  the  circumstances 
just  mentioned,  an  amount  of  evil,  terrible  to  contemplate, 
may  be  the  result  of  an  abuse  of  trust,  which  may  seem  trifling 
to  the  guilty  perpetrator.  The  law  considers  no  abuse  of  the 
trust  reposed  in  those  connected  with  the  post-office  as  slight; 
but  with  a  jealous  regard  for  the  good  of  community,  pro¬ 
vides  penalties  commensurate  with  the  greatness  of  their 
crimes,  for  those  whom  neither  common  honesty,  nor  honor¬ 
able  feelings,  nor  moral  principle  can  withhold  from  the  com¬ 
mission  of  such  deeds. 

But  we  will  resume  the  thread  of  our  story. 

It  may  seem  strange  that  the  disorders  which  I  have  partly 
described,  should  have  continued  so  long  before  the  Depart¬ 
ment  was  informed  of  the  state  of  things ;  but  in  regard  to 
this,  I  would  say  that  frequently  such  failures  of  correspon¬ 
dence  go  on  for  some  time,  and  work  much  mischief  before 
the  post  master  is  apprised  of  the  troubles  existing  in  his 
vicinity,  as  he  of  course  is  not  expected  to  know  what  letters 
are  sent  to  his  office,  in  the  absence  of  complaints  made 
directly  to  him.  It  should  be  stated  here,  for  the  benefit  of 
those  not  informed  in  these  matters,  that  it  is  made  part  of 
the  duty  of  a  post  master  to  report  promptly  to  the  Post-office 
Department  all  complaints  of  the  loss  of  any  valuable  letters 
said  to  have  been  deposited  in  his  office.  In  the  case  I  am 
narrating,  the  failures  in  the  delivery  of  letters  became  at 
length  so  general,  that  complaint  was  made  to  the  post  master 
of  the  town,  and  information  communicated  directly  to  the 
Department  at  Washington. 

Having  received  a  commission  from  the  Post  Master  General 
as  before  stated,  with  orders  to  investigate  this  case,  I  pro¬ 
ceeded  at  once  to  the  place  in  question,  having  first  been 
assured  of  the  entire  reliability  of  the  post  master  in  charge 
there;  and  if  looks  could  ever  be  taken  as  the  index  of  the 
man,  I  needed  no  other  assurance  of  his  honesty.  I  found  an 


A  VENERABLE  PAIR  OF  OFFICIALS. 


35 


old  gentleman  who  had  numbered  his  three-score  years  and  ten, 
a  veteran  in  the  service,  having  held  the  post  which  he  then 
filled,  “from  time  immemorial.”  He  looked  the  worthy 
representative  of  that  class  of  men,  whose  moral  principles 
are  applied  to  the  discharge  of  public  duties  as  strictly  as  to 
those  of  a  private  character, — men  like  that  high-minded  wor¬ 
thy,  who,  when  his  son  attempted  to  help  himself  to  a  sheet 
of  paper  from  a  desk  containing  public  property,  rebuked  him 
thus  :  “  Take  some  paper  from  my  desk,  if  you  want  it.  That 
paper  belongs  to  the  United  States.” 

It  is  generally  necessary  in  investigating  cases  of  depreda¬ 
tions,  to  inquire  into  the  honesty  of  the  clerks  in  the  offices  to 
which  we  direct  our  attention  •  but  in  the  present  instance,  such 
a  precaution  was  uncalled  for,  since  the  only  assistant  of  the  old 
postmaster  was  his  wife,  a  venerable,  motherly  matron,  of  about 
his  age,  who  had  aided  him  in  his  official  duties,  and  had  been 
his  help-meet  in  the  household  for  many,  many  years. 

The  correspondence  of  a  generation  had  passed  through 
their  hands,  and  they  were  enabled  to  note  the  changes  in  the 
number  and  appearance  of  the  letters  which  were  placed  in 
their  charge  during  the  long  period  of  their  incumbency, — 
changes  produced  by  the  increase  of  population,  the  freer  inter¬ 
course  between  distant  places,  and  the  facilities  for  epistolary 
communication,;  which  had  been  progressing  ever  since,  they  had 
assumed  the  responsibilities  of  their  office.  At  first  few  letters 
were  transmitted  but  those  of  a  sturdy,  business-like  appear¬ 
ance,  written  on  coarse  paper,  and  sealed  with  wafers  of  about 
the  dimensions  of  a  modern  lady’s  watch, — wafers  that  evi¬ 
dently  had  in  charge  matter  of  weighty  import,  and  were 
mighty  embodiments  of  the  adhesive  principle.  Then,  as 
Time  and  Improvement  advanced,  and  the  cacoethes  scribendi 
became  more  generally  developed,  documents  appeared  of  a 
milder  grade,  and  of  a  more  imaginative  aspect,  not  only 
representing  the  cares  of  business  life,  but  indicating,  by  the 
fineness  of  their  texture,  the  laboriously  neat  and  often  femi¬ 
nine  character  of  their  superscriptions,  and  the  delicacy  of  their 


36 


PRESIDENT  PIERCE  ASSISTS. 


expressive  waxen  seals,  that  Love  and  Friendship,  and  the 
interests  of  domestic  circles,  were  also  beginning  thus  to  find 
utterance. 

Our  worthy  pair,  having  been  connected  with  the  postal 
department  during  such  a  large  portion  of  its  existence,  had 
naturally  come  to  feel  much  interest  in  whatever  concerned 
it,  and  of  course  were  especially  anxious  that  no  blot  should 
come  upon  the  reputation  of  the  office  in  their  charge,  and 
that  the  delinquent  in  the  present  case  should  be  brought  to 
light  and  to  justice. 

The  old  man  was  slow  to  believe  that  a  fraud  had  been  com¬ 
mitted  by  those  connected  with  any  office  in  his  neighbor¬ 
hood,  as  he  thought  he  could  vouch  for  the  character  of  every 
one  of  his  brother  post  masters  with  whom  he  was  acquainted, 
and  the  information  which  he  gave  me  respecting  them  seemed 
to  exonerate  them,  so  far  as  his  opinion  could  do  it. 

My  first  proceeding  at  that  point,  was  to  examine  the  books 
of  the  office,  by  which  it  appeared  that  Boston  packages  were 
received  only  once  or  twice  a  week,  while  they  had  been  sent 
daily,  according  to  the  records  of  the  Boston  post-office. 

After  passing  over  the  entire  route  several  times  incog.,  and 
taking  as  minute  a  view  of  the  several  offices  as  it  was  in  my 
power  to  do  without  incurring  the  danger  of  being  recognised, 
I  concluded  that  my  duty  required  me  to  seek  an  interview 
with  the  United  States  District  Attorney,  whose  functions 
were  then  discharged  by  no  less  a  personage  than  Hon.  Frank¬ 
lin  Pierce,  now  President  of  the  United  States.  On  laying 
the  whole  matter  before  him,  he  expressed  much  regret  at.  the 
seeming  implication  of  the  u  Granite  State”  in  such  acts  of 
dishonesty  and  systematic  fraud ;  at  the  same  time  confidently 
expressing  the  belief  that  the  incumbents  of  two  or  three 
post-offices,  to  which  I  felt  satisfied  the  difficulty  was  confined, 
could  not  be  the  guilty  parties,  as  they  were  personally  known 
to  him. 

Although  I  greatly  respected  his  judgment,  yet  I  ventured 
to  suggest  the  possibility  that  his  desire  to  think  well  of  his 
acquaintances  might  have  led  him  to  view  the  characters  of 


THE  QUAKER  COAT. 


37 


some  of  them  in  a  too  favorable  light.  So,  in  order  to 
establish  more  firmly  their  trust-worthiness  in  my  estimation, 
he  kindly  went  over  to  the  State-house,  where  the  Legislature 
was  m  session,  and  confidentially  consulted  the  representatives 
from  each  of  the  towns  in  question. 

One  of  the  members  thus  consulted,  and  who  readily 
endorsed  the  favorable  opinion  of  the  Attorney,  happened  to 
be  a  brother  of  the  post  master  who  had  done  all  the  mischief 
as  it  was  afterwards  ascertained.  "*  I  have  reason  to  believe, 
however,  that  this  gentleman  was  not  aware  of  his  brother’s 
delinquencies,  and  that  he  was  incapable  of  doing  anything  to 
countenance  or  forward  such  dishonorable  practices. 

One  of  the  lost  letters  contained  several  twenty  dollar  notes 
on  one  of  the  Boston  banks.  On  the  occasion  of  a  public 
Exhibition,  held  at  the  close  of  the  term,  in  the  Academy 
before  referred  to,  a  large  number  of  visitors  from  abroad  were 
collected  together,  and  as  money  at  such  a  time  would  be  cir¬ 
culating  in  the  town  more  freely  than  usual,  it  seemed  not 
unlikely  that  one  or  more  of  those  bank  notes  might  find  their 
way  into  the  current  of  business,  and  furnish,  by  their  identi¬ 
fication,  some  clue  to  the  perpetrator  of  the  robberies.  With 
this  hope,  I  inquired  privately  of  several  merchants  in  the 
place,  whether  they  had  recently  taken  any  such  bills,  and 
learned  from  one  of  them  that*  about  two  weeks  before,  at  the 
time  of  the  Exhibition,  several  of  those  or  similar  bills  had 
been  offered  for  exchange  by  a  stranger,  which  fact  would 
perhaps  have  attracted  no  particular  attention,  were  it  not  for 
the  absence  of  any  apparent  object  in  this  exchange.  The 
imperfect  description  of  the  stranger  which  I  obtained,  agreed 
tolerably  well,  as  far  as  it  went,  with  that  of  Mr.  E.,  post 
master  in  the  town  of  C.,  where  was  one  of  the  offices  through 
which  the  many  missing  packages  should  have  passed. 

The  most  decided  mark  of  identity  which  was  furnished  me, 
was  a  brown  overcoat,  cut  something  after  the  Quaker  style, 
which  my  informant  remembered  to  have  been  worn  by  the 
stranger  for  whose  accommodation  he  had  exchanged  notes 
4 


38 


* 


THE  QUAKER  OOAT. 


similar  to  those  described.  Deeming  it  unsafe  to  inquire  of 
any  neighbor  of  the  suspected  post  master  whether  he  pos¬ 
sessed  such  a  coat,  I  adopted  the  expedient  of  attending,  on 
the  following  Sabbath,  the  church  of  whose  congregation  he 
was  a  member,  for  the  purpose,  of  course,  of  listening  to  a 
good  sermon,  not  forgetting,  however,  under  the  scriptural 
license  furnished  in  Luke  xiv.  5,  to  look  about  now  and  then 
for  the  Quaker  coat  and  its  owner, — a  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing. 
I  observed  the  frequent  characteristics  of  a  country  congrega¬ 
tion, — a  noisy  choir,  a  gorgeous  display  of  ribbons  and  other 
“running  rigging”  by  the  fairer  portion  of  the  audience,  and 
a  peculiarly  ill-fitting  assortment  of  coats,  but  never  a  Quaker¬ 
ish  garment.  By  the  time  the  preacher  had  drawn  his  last 
inference,  I  had  drawn  mine,  namely,  that  it  is  easier  to  iden¬ 
tify  a  man  by  his  face  than  by  his  coat,  inasmuch  as  he  cannot 
lay  aside  the  one,  while  he  may  the  other.  The  day,  indeed, 
was  remarkably  mild,  and  few  overcoats  made  their  appearance. 
Mr.  F.  was  present,  however,  at  both  services,  as  I  afterwards 
learned,  and  occupied  a  seat  in  the  choir, — a  base  singer,  pro¬ 
bably. 

I  have  now  to  mention  one  of  those  singular  coincidences 
which  are  so  frequently  brought  about,  as  if  with  the  design 
of  aiding  in  the  exposure  of  crime,  and  of  pointing  out  its 
perpetrators  with  unerring  accuracy.  The  numerous  instances 
which  are  every  day  occurring,  illustrative  of  this  princi¬ 
ple,  leave  us  no  room  to  doubt  its  truth.  “  Murder  will  out,” 
and  so  will  all  other  crimes.  Let  the  guilty  one  envelope 
himself  in  a  seemingly  impenetrable  cloud  of  secrecy;  let  him 
construct,  ever  so  cunningly,  the  line  of  his  defences,  sparing 
no  pains  to  fortify  every  exposed  point,  and  to  guard  against 
every  surprise ;  yet  some  ray  of  light,  darting,  like  the  electric 
flash,  he  knows  not  whence,  will  pierce  the  darkness  which 
surrounded  him;  some  hidden  spark  will  kindle  an  explosion, 
which  will  bury  him  and  his  works  in  ruin.  “  Trifles  light  as 
air”  harden  into  “confirmation  strong  as  words  of  Holy  Writ.” 

Assuming  that  the  aforesaid  coat,  if  it  had  any  connection  with 


AN  OFFICIAL  VISIT  BY  NIGHT.  *  47 

that  missing  a  u  decoy- letter/’  and  establishing  in  a  legal 
manner  the  guilt  of  the  individual  who  is  known  to  have 
intercepted  it,  are  two  very  different  things.  Much  caution  is 
requisite  in  the  management  of  these  cases,  in  order  to  leave 
no  loop-hole  of  retreat  to  the  culprit.  Too  hasty  movements 
might  spoil  all,  by  alarming  him  before  he  had  put  it  out  of 
his  power  to  account  plausibly  for  the  detention  of  the  letter; 
while  a  too  long  delay  might  enable  him  to  increase  materially 
the  difficulty  of  obtaining  direct  evidence,  by  affording  him  an 
opportunity  of  disposing  of  the  necessary  proof, — the  letter 
itself,  and  the  contained  money. 

In  the  present  instance,  it  was  considered  that  a  too  speedy 
return  to  search  for  the  absent  package,  might  result  in  finding 
it  in  a  perfect  state,  allowing  of  the  explanation  by  the  post 
master,  that  it  had  been  left  over  by  mistake  in  overhauling 
the  mail,  which  would  have  put  the  case  in  a  capital  shape  for 
a  tolerably  sharp  lawyer  to  defend.  We  therefore  concluded 
to  allow  several  hours  to  elapse  before  making  a  descent  upon 
the  premises,  the  time  being  mainly  occupied  in  drawing  up 
the  requisite  papers,  and  procuring  the  attendance  of  a  proper 
officer  to  serve  them. 

All  things  having  been  prepared,  we  started,  at  about  nine 
o’clock  in  the  evening,  for  the  post-office  in  question.  The 
office  itself  was  in  a  small  building,  some  twenty  rods  from 
the  post  master’s  house,  and  as  we  approached  the  premises, 
no  light  was  visible,  excepting  in  one  of  the  chambers  of  the 
dwelling.  There,  accordingly,  we  directed  our  steps,  and  a 
few  raps  upon  the  door  brought  down  the  post  master,  light  in 
hand,  who  at  once  recognised  u  Squire  Paarce,”  as  he  called 
the  District- Attorney.  This  gentleman  politely  requested  him 
to  step  over  to  the  office,  to  transact  some  business,  the  nature 
of  which  he  did  not  then  explain.  The  post  master  expressed 
his  readiness  to  accompany  Mr.  Pierce,  remarking  that  he 
must  first  leave  him  a  moment,  in  order  to  go  to  another  part 
of  the  house  for  a  lantern.  Some  such  manoeuvre  on  his  part 
had  been  anticipated,  and  he  was  closely  watched — in  fact, 


48 


STATE  OF  THE  FINANCES. 


Mr.  Pierce  went  with  him — while  absent  on  his  errand,  to 
deprive  him  of  an  opportunity  of  secreting  any  money  that  he 
might  have  on  his  person. 

On  reaching  the  post-office,  he  was  introduced  to  the  Agent, 
whose  first  object  was,  to  get  an  admission  from  him,  that  he 
was  present  when  the  mail  arrived  from  Boston  that  day,  that 
he  overhauled  it  alone,  and  that  he  had  at  this  time  no  pack¬ 
ages  on  hand  to  go  by  the  mail  Northward  the  day  following. 
These  points  having  been  ascertained,  the  subject  of  the 
numerous  losses  on  that  route  was  broached,  and  the  fact 
plainly  stated,  that  they  had  beer  traced  to  that  office ;  which 
piece  of  information  was  received  by  the  post  master  with  the 
utmost  apparent  self-possession.  Indeed,  he  seemed  exceed¬ 
ingly  surprised  to  hear  of  the  various  frauds  which  I  enume¬ 
rated,  and  professed  entire  ignorance  that  anything  of  the 
kind  had  occurred,  assuring  me  that  if  such  things  had  been 
done,  my  suspicions  as  to  his  office  were  utterly  groundless.  > 

u  Do  you  receive  much  money  in  the  course  of  your  busi¬ 
ness,  Mr.  F.  V ’  I  asked. 

Hi  Some,”  was  the  laconic  reply. 

u  Have  you  much  on  hand  now,  and  is  it  here,  or  at  the 

house,  or  where  is  it  ?” 

\ 

u  I  don't  know  that  my  duty  to  the  Post-office  Department 
compels  me  to  answer  such  questions — to  strangers,  anyhow,” 
replied  he,  with  an  air  of  defiance. 

a  Then,”  said  I,  u  my  duty  to  the  Department  will  require 
me  to  dispense  with  further  interrogatories,  and  proceed  to 
satisfy  myself  as  to  the  present  state  of  your  finances  in  some 
other,  and  more  direct  way.” 

“  Well,  Squire,”  said  he,  turning  to  Mr.  Pierce,  u  I  want  to 
know  if  you  have  brought  this  man  here  to  bully  me,  on  my  own 
premises,  and  accuse  me  of  doing  things  that  I  never  thought 
of,  to  say  nothing  of  his  impertinence  in  inquiring  into  my 
private  business  affairs.  Let  him  find  out  what  he  can  about 
them.  I  sha'n^t  help  him.” 

The  District- Attorney  assured  him  that  all  was  correct ;  that 


FINDING  THE  MARKED  BILLS. 


49 


his  rights  should  be  protected ;  and  that  he  had  better  furnish 
the  required  information  as  to  his  means,  and  allow  us  to  ex¬ 
amine  any  funds  he  might  have  on  hand.  This,  the  Attorney 
suggested,  would  be  the  course  which  a  regard  for  his  own 
interests  should  lead  him  to  adopt. 

After  much  grumbling,  and  giving  vent  to  his  dissatis¬ 
faction  by  the  remark,  that  “he  didn’t  see  why  he  should  be 
picked  out.  and  treated  in  this  way,”  he  reluctantly  complied 
with  my  so±newhat  urgent  request  to  be  allowed  to  look  at  the 
money  in  his  possession.  Handing  me  his  wallet,  he  awaited 
the  result  of  the  examination  with  all  the  composure  he  could 
command.  He  must  ha^e  inferred,  from  what  had  been  said, 
that  it  was  in  my  power  to  identify  whatever  money  he  had 
that  was  unlawfully  obtained,  yet  with  the  consciousness  that 
he  was  thus  open  to  detection,  he  did  not  flinch,  nor  betray 
but  in  a  small  degree,  the  heart-sinking  that  a  knowledge  of 
his  perilous  situation  could  not  fail  to  produce.  These  were 
my  first  thoughts,  but  I  afterwards  had  occasion  to  believe  that 
he  was  not  aware  of  the  overwhelming  proof  against  himself 
which  he  supplied  as  he  passed  his  pocket-book  into  my 
hands.  A  hasty  examination  of  its  contents  revealed  unmis¬ 
takable  evidence  of  his  guilt,  for  on  consulting  the  description 
of  the  bills  mailed  that  morning  in  Boston,  to  go  some  twenty 
miles  above  this  point,  every  one  of  them  was  at  once  iden¬ 
tified  ! 

“  Mr.  F.,”  said  I,  “  this  money  I  saw  placed  in  a  letter  in 
Boston,  this  morning,  to  go  some  distance  above  you;  how 
came  it  in  your  wallet  V’ 

For  some  time  the  unfortunate  man  was  speechless.  He 
had  continued  so  long  in  his  course  of  fraud,  that  the  ground 
had  begun  to  feel  firm  beneath  his  feet,  when  all  at  once  this 
gulf  opened  before  him,  about  to  swallow  up  everything  that 
man  ought  to  hold  most  dear :  character,  liberty,  the  love  and 
respect  of  his  fellow  men,  and  even  property — a  thing  of  com¬ 
paratively  little  importance — for  restitution  would  justly  be 
required 
5 


I 


50  THE  ARREST. 

The  words  in  which  one  of  Milton’s  fallen  spirits  addresses 
a  brother  angel,  might  appropriately  be  applied  to  this  victim 
of  the  lust  of  gold. 

“  If  thou  be’st  he  ; — hut  0,  how  fallen,  how  changed  !” 

Yes,  indeed,  how  changed !  He  had  occupied  a  high  position 
in  community,  enjoying  the  confidence  of  every  one ;  and  had 
been  elected  to  places  of  honor  and  trust  by  his  fellow-citizens, 
before  his  appointment  to  this  office  by  the  general  Govern¬ 
ment.  What  was  he  now?  What  would  he  be  when  it 
should  be  known  everywhere  that  the  exemplary  Mr.  F.  had 
been  guilty  of  a  felon’s  crimes,  and  was  likely  to  meet  with  a 
felon’s  doom  ?  How  could  he  ever  face  again  his  children, 
already  deprived  of  one  parent  by  death,  and  about  to  lose 
another  by  that  which  is  worse  than  death  ?  Ah  !  if  crime 
presented  the  same  aspect  before  its  perpetration  that  it  does 
afterward,  how  vast  would  be  the  diminution  of  human  guilt ! 

The  District- Attorney  and  Sheriff  having  purposely  retired 
for  a  few  moments,  I  took  occasion  to  represent  to  F.,  in  as 
strong  a  light  as  possible,  the  disappointments  and  distress 
which  his  unprincipled  course  had  occasioned  among  the 
pupils  of  the  academy,  at  the  same  time  urging  him,  if  he 
had  not  destroyed  their  letters,  to  produce  them  at  once,  that 
they  might  be  forwarded  to  their  rightful  owners.  He  did 
not  deny  that  he  was  the  author  of  all  the  mischief;  and 
stated  that  the  letters  he  had  taken  had  been  destroyed,  but 
that  the  money — several  hundred  dollars — was  invested  in  real 
estate,  and  could  be  restored. 

After  I  had  ascertained  these  important  facts,  I  consigned 
the  criminal  to  the  Sheriff’s  hands,  in  virtue  of  the  warrant 
which  had  before  been  made  out,  as  I  have  already  mentioned. 
The  Sheriff  returned  to  the  house  with  him,  to  allow  him  to 
make  some  preparation  for  a  night’s  ride,  and  as  they  issued 
from  the  dwelling,  I  noticed  that  F.  had  on  the  identical 
Quaker  coat,  which  had  been  to  him  what  the  robe  of  Nessus 


LOST  CHARACTER  OFTEN  IRRETRIEVABLE, 


51 


was  to  Hercules, — a  garment  bringing  unforeseen  destruction 
to  its  wearer. 

The  trial  of  the  prisoner  was  held  in  due  time,  and  its 
result  furnished  no  exception  to  the  truth  of  the  Scriptural 
declaration  respecting  the  way  of  transgressors. 

Before  closing  this  narrative,  I  should  mention  that 
measures  were  taken  to  secure  the  restoration  of  their  money 
to  those  who  had  been  defrauded  by  this  man’s  dishonesty. 
It  was,  however,  a  slower  process  to  heal  the  wounded  feelings, 
to  re-establish  the  broken  friendships,  and  to  reproduce  the 
lost  confidence,  of  which  he  had  been  the  guilty  cause. 
Whether  he  ever  regained  his  lost  reputation,  I  am  unable 
to  say. 

A  long  course  of  upright  conduct  may  and  ought  to  oblit¬ 
erate  the  memory  of  former  crime,  but  the  commission  of 
such  crimes  ordinarily  raises  additional  barriers  in  the  way  of 
a  virtuous  life;  and  too  often  it  were  as  hopeful  a  task  to 
collect  the  fragments  of  a  diamond  which  has  just  been  dashed 
upon  the  pavement,  and  attempt  to  reconstruct  it  in  its  original 
beauty,  as  to  gather  up  the  remains  of  a  ruined  character,  and 
endeavor  to  restore  it  to  its  former  lustre. 


CHAPTER  II. 


A  competent  Assistant — Yielding  to  Temptation — An  easy  Post  Mas¬ 
ter — Whispers  of  Complaint — Assistant  embarrassed — Application 
to  his  Uncle — The  Refusal — Value  of  a  kind  Word — Resort  to  Depre¬ 
dations — Evidences  of  Guilt — Decoy  Letter  taken — The  Bowling 
Saloon — The  Agent  worsted — The  Restaurant — Bother  of  the  Credit 
System — The  fatal  Bank-Note — Keen  Letter  to  the  Agent — The  Ar¬ 
rest — The  next  Meeting. 

Those  who  are  connected  in  any  way  with  the  adminis¬ 
tration  of  the  law,  find  their  sympathies  excited  in  very  differ¬ 
ent  degrees  by  the  several  cases  which  they  have  in  hand  from 
time  to  time.  Although  the  ruin  of  character  is  to  be 
deplored  under  all  circumstances,  yet  it  never  gives  rise  to 
greater  commiseration  and  regret  than  when  it  destroys  more 
than  ordinary  capabilities  for  adorning  and  profiting  society. 
Such  were  the  capabilities  possessed  by  Thomas  L.,  the  subject 
of  the  following  sketch. 

I  have  rarely,  in  my  official  capacity,  come  in  contact  with 
a  young  man  who  was  more  richly  endowed  with  acuteness  of 
intellect,  brilliancy  of  talent,  and  fascination  of  manners )  and 
in  addition  to  these  gifts  of  nature,  he  had  received  from  a 
devoted  mother  those  lessons  of  morality  and  religion  which 
she  fondly  hoped  would  guard  him  from  the  dangers  that 
might  beset  his  path.  Well  was  it  for  her  peace  of  mind 
that  she  was  removed  to  that  world  u  where  the  wicked  cease 
from  troubling,  and  the  weary  are  at  rest,”  while  yet  her 

(52) 


A  COMPETENT  ASSISTANT. 


53 


beloved  son  retained  an  unsullied  character  and  the  respect 
of  his  fellow-men. 

Such  was  the  young  man  whose  fall  I  have  to  record.  His 
employer,  the  post  master,  was  a  man  of  ample  pecuniary 
means,  independent  of  the  emoluments  of  his  office,  and,  as  is 
often  true  in  similar  cases,  giving  hut  little  time  or  attention 
to  the  discharge  of  its  duties.  Nor  was  his  immediate  super¬ 
intendence  necessary,  so  far  as  concerned  the  details  of  busi¬ 
ness,  for  his  young  Assistant,  though  only  eighteen  years  of 
age,  kept  everything  in  complete  order,  and  so  administered 
the  office,  with  the  occasional  assistance  of  a  younger  lad,  as  to 
give  perfect  satisfaction  to  all  who  had  dealings  with  it,  and  to 
render  the  angel-like  visits  of  the  post  master  a  matter  of  very 
little  consequence  to  the  public.  But  this  universal  popu¬ 
larity,  and  the  absence  of  supervision  and  of  restraint,  other 
than  that  supplied  by  his  own  conscience,  were  circumstances 
unfavorable  to  the  preservation  of  his  integrity,  and  laid  him 
open  to  the  temptations  which  so  easily  assail  those  of  like 
character  and  similarly  situated. 

The  most  gifted  and  socially  attractive  are  always  peculiarly 
exposed  to  danger  of  this  kind,  and  nothing  short  of  firmly 
established  principle  can  be  relied  on  for  safety.  Doubtless, 
the  truths  which  his  departed  mother  had  endeavored  to  im¬ 
press  upon  his  young  mind  often  sounded  their  tones  of  warn¬ 
ing  in  his  ears ;  yet  they  were  too  weak  to  be  heard  in  the 
roar  of  the  stream  which  was  bearing  him  along  to  destruction. 

A  few  drops  of  water  seem  of  little  importance.  They  may 
sparkle  as  dew,  they  may  form  a  rainbow ;  but  when,  united 
to  others,  they  rush  onward  as  a  mighty  torrent,  sweeping 
everything  before  them,  we  may  see  how  pleasing  and  often 
apparently  trifling  are  the  beginnings  of  evil,  and  how  irresisti¬ 
ble  are  its  downward  tendencies  to  those  who  put  themselves 
within  its  power. 

The  usual  enticements  of  a  moderate-sized  Massachusetts 
country  village, — the  sleighing  parties,  dancing  schools,  balls, 
refreshment  saloons,  bowling  alleys,  &c.,  conspired  in  this  case 
5  * 


54 


WHISPERS  OF  COMPLAINT. 


to  invite  considerable  expenditures;  and  tbe  subject  of  this 
sketch;  in  his  attempt  to  keep  up  with  the  course  of  extrava¬ 
gance  and  unthinking  dissipation  upon  which  his  companions 
had  entered;  who  could  better  afford  the  expense,  found  his 
means  entirely  inadequate  to  this  end ;  but  before  making  the 
discovery,  he  had  been  committed  to  the  whirlpool  of  fash¬ 
ionable  pleasure  too  far  to  extricate  himself  without  much 
difficulty. 

The  first  effects  of  this  course  began  to  show  themselves  in 
the  frequent  closing  of  the  office  in  advance  of  the  proper 
time,  and  the  opening  of  it  at  irregular  and  often  unseasonable 
hours.  Whispers  of  complaint  were  heard  on  the  part  of 
business  men,  which,  coming  to  the  ears  of  the  post  master, 
were  followed  by  some  gentle  remonstrances, — gentle  they 
necessarily  were,  for  circumstances  already  related  had  given 
the  boy  too  much  consequence  (rendering  his  services,  as  he 
well  knew,  quite  indispensable)  to  allow  him  to  bear  patiently 
anything  like  a  u  blowing  up”  from  his  too  easy  employer. 
For  a  time,  however,  this  remissness  ceased,  and  like  some 
noble  ship  struck  by  a  heavy  wave  and  brought  to  a  momen¬ 
tary  stand,  while  driving  onward  to  shipwreck,  this  promising 
young  man  appeared  to  pause  in  his  dangerous  career,  and  for 
a  while  all  seemed  to  be  going  on  well.  But  the  improvement 
was  only  temporary.  The  importunities  of  his  companions, 
innocent  perhaps  of  any  vicious  design,  again  diverted  his 
attention  from  business,  and  he  was  soon  fairly  in  the  old  track 
of  pleasure-seeking,  regardless  of  the  sacrifice  of  time  or  money, 

Having  the  entire  control  of  the  post-office  funds,  and  not 
being  required  to  account  for  the  money  collected  till  the  close 
of  the  quarter,  he  at  first  ventured  to  use  these  funds  in  a  lim¬ 
ited  way,  to  pay  the  more  urgent  demands  upon  him,  trusting, 
as  he  afterwards  expressed  himself,  that  u  something  would 
turn  up,”  he  knew  not  what,  to  enable  him  to  replace  the 
money  before  the  quarterly  settlement  with  his  confiding  em¬ 
ployer.  As  the  time  approached,  he  discovered  with  dismay 
that  the  deficiency  amounted  to  some  seventy-five  dollars. 


APPLICATION  FOR  AID. 


55 


How  to  make  this  good  was  a  perplexing  question,  which  occu¬ 
pied  his  daily  thoughts  and  disturbed  his  nightly  slumbers. 
He  was  proud-spirited,  and  up  to  this  time,  had  enjoyed  an 
unspotted  reputation.  Discovery  must  be  averted  at  any  rate. 

At  this  juncture,  the  thought  of  some  property  which  his 
widowed  mother  at  her  death  had  left  for  him  in  the  hands 
of  a  relative  living  at  a  distance,  came  to  his  relief,  and  he 
resolved  to  lose  no  time  in  applying  for  aid  in  that  direction. 
A  frank  and  full  statement  of  his  real  situation  would  no  doubt 
have  brought  him  the  desired  aid,  but,  as  will  be  seen  in  his 
letter  of  application  to  his  uncle,  he  was  induced  to  give  a 
false  reason  for  his  need  of  funds,  and  the  cold,  business¬ 
like  reply  which  followed,  is  such  as  would  naturally  be  ex¬ 
pected  from  one  who  had  no  sympathy  with  the  weaknesses  of 
youth,  and  no  disposition  to  inquire  with  a  kindly  interest  into 
the  affairs  of  his  young  relative.  Had  this  reply  been  differ¬ 
ent  in  its  tone,  it  might  have  drawn  out  the  requisite  explana¬ 
tion,  and  have  effectually  prevented  what  afterwards  occurred. 

Here  are  the  letters  : 


E - ,  Mass.,  February  16th,  1849. 

My  dear  Uncle, 

I  am  in  need  of  some  funds,  say  seventy-five  dollars.  I  have  fool¬ 
ishly  loaned  about  that  amount  in  small  sums  to  a  friend  at  school 
here,  upon  whose  word  I  thought  I  could  depend,  when  he  promised 
me  he  could  replace  it  at  any  moment  I  desired.  I  shall  consider  it 
a  great  favor  if  you  will  accommodate  me. 

Your  affectionate  nephew, 

Thomas. 

To  this  the  following  reply  was  received  : — 

New  York,  February  19th,  1849. 

My  dear  Sir, 

Your  letter  of  the  16th  inst.  is  before  me,  soliciting  the  sum  of 
seventy-five  dollars.  This  singular  request  has  very  much  surprised 
me,'  as  in  the  first  place  I  have  no  available  means  in  my  hands 
belonging  to  you,  and  besides,  if  I  had,  I  should  not  be  in  a  hurry 


5G  VALUE  OE  A  KIND  WORD. 

to  relieve  you  from  the  embarrassment  which  you  seem  to  be  in,  as 
it  may  learn  you  to  be  more  cautious  in  future. 

I  have  understood  that  your  compensation  is  ample  for  your  sup¬ 
port,  if  you  are  economical ;  but  if  you  lend  your  money  to  spend¬ 
thrifts,  and  get  swindled  out  of  it,  it  is  your  own  affair.  This  is  the 
opinion  of 

Yours,  &c., 

Henry  S - . 

It  can  be  imagined  how  much  a  response  of  this  description 
was  calculated  to  open  the  heart,  or  invite  the  confidence  of 
the  unfortunate  Thomas.  His  pride  felt  sorely  the  repulsive 
tone  which  his  uncle  adopted,  and  the  supposed  disgrace  of 
making  an  unsuccessful  application  for  money,  to  say  nothing 
of  the  slurs  cast  upon  his  own  discretion,  and  the  honor 
of  his  companions.  At  this  critical  juncture  in  the  character 
and  affairs  of  the  young  man,  such  a  cold  rebuff  was  like  a 
death-blow  to  all  purposes  of  future  fidelity  and  honesty ;  and 
as  I  listened  to  this  part  of  the  instructive  narration,  I  could 
not  but  feel  that  the  uncle,  by  withholding  needed  sympathy 
and  aid,  was  in  some  degree  responsible  for  the  after  course  of 
his  erring  nephew. 

All  hope  of  assistance  in  this  direction  having  been  aban¬ 
doned,  desperation  suggested  a  further  departure  from  honesty. 

“  It  is  but  a  little  more  risk,”  whispered  the  fiend.  “  Take 
enough  to  make  this  quarter’s  account  square,  and  you  will 
come  out  right  somehow  before  another  settlement.” 

Weakened  conscience  was  unable  to  withstand  the  pressure 
of  circumstances,  and  the  plausible  scheme  proposed  for  relief. 
So,  money  letters,  which  heretofore  had  been  perfectly  safe,  were 
emptied  of  their  contents  to  meet  the  present  exigency. 

Indications  not  to  be  mistaken,  that  some  one  was  robbing 
the  mails  in  that  vicinity,  soon  began  to  appear,  though  among 
all  the  complaints,  not  one  referred  to  the  loss  of  any  letter 
mailed  at  or  addressed  to  the  office  at  E.  They  all  related  to 
important  letters  posted  at  other  offices,  but  passing  through 
E.,  and  it  was  not  until  all  sorts  of  tests  and  experiments  had 


EVIDENCES  OE  GUILT. 


57 


been  tried  in  vain  at  other  points,  and  every  other  mode  of 
operation  exhausted,  that  the  Agent  took  up  temporary  quar¬ 
ters  at  the  private  residence  of  an  acquaintance,  from  which, 
without  being  observed,  he  could  overlook  this  office,  hitherto 
the  least  suspected  on  the  route. 

The  opportunity  afforded  after  dark  of  taking  a  glance  at 
the  interior  of  the  office  and  its  principal  occupant,  through 
the  glass  boxes  in  front,  was  of  course  properly  improved,  and 
this  little  experiment  furnished,  as  the  result  showed,  an  im¬ 
portant  clue  to  the  whole  matter;  for  on  the  first  evening’s 
watch,  I  discovered  what  I  deemed  evidence  of  the  clerk’s 
guilt. 

Stepping  silently  and  unnoticed  into  the  vestibule  of  the 
office,  and  gaining  a  position  whence  I  could  observe  his  mo¬ 
tions,  I  distinctly  saw  him  thrust  what  appeared  to  be  a  letter 
into  the  stove,  afterwards  taking  up  a  wallet  from  the  table 
and  placing  it  hastily  in  his  pocket.  I  must  have  made  some 
slight  noise,  for  after  doing  this,  he  suddenly  turned  and  looked 
sharply  in  my  direction. 

This  may  have  been  nothing  more  than  the  instinctive 
glance  of  distrust  which  those  who  have  not  the  entire  con¬ 
trol  of  themselves  are  apt  to  cast  around  after  doing  some¬ 
thing  that  they  would  dislike  to  be  detected  in. 

However  it  may  have  been,  thinking  that  he  had  dis¬ 
covered  me,  I  stepped  boldly  up  to  the  u  general  delivery,” 
and  inquired  for  a  letter  for  u  Robert  Marshall,  railroad  con¬ 
tractor,”  taking  occasion  to  observe  him  closely  as  he  was  en¬ 
gaged  in  running  over  the  letters.  He  seemed  confused, 
his  hands  shook  a  little,  his  face  was  flushed,  and  his  voice 
was  inclined  to  tremble,  as  he  replied  that  there  was  u  nothing 
for  Robert  Marshall.”  I  attributed  all  this  to  fear  lest  his 
previous  movements  might  have  been  observed,  and  left  the 
office,  strongly  suspecting  that  Thomas  L.  was  the  author  of 
the  depredations  in  question. 

A  few  experiments  in  the  way  of  u  decoy  letters,”  mailed 


58 


DECOY  LETTER  TAKEN. 


bo  as  to  pass  through  that  office,  soon  converted  suspicion  into 
certainty.  One  of  these  letters,  containing  sundry  bank-notes, 
disappeared,  and  one  of  the  notes  was  traced  directly  back  to 
his  hands.  Plow  this  was  done,  the  reader  will  probably  insist 
upon  knowing,  and  it  is  my  intention  to  gratify  this  thirst  for 
information,  although  in  so  doing  I  shall  be  compelled  to 
reveal  a  degree  of  unskilfulness  in  the  game  of  ten-pins 
which  would  deter  the  most  sanguine  gamester  from  betting  on 
my  head. 

In  the  basement  of  the  hotel  was  a  bowling  saloon,  which, 
as  I  had  ascertained,  the  suspected  clerk  was  in  the  habit  of 
visiting  in  the  evening,  after  closing  the  post-office,  and  this  fact 
suggested  my  plan.  I  might  have  arrested  and  searched 
him  at  once,  but  I  thought  it  the  better  way  to  watch  the 
money  exchanged  by  him,  in  the  hope  that  some  of  the  miss¬ 
ing  bills  might  thus  come  to  light. 

For  if  he  should  chance  to  have  none  of  these  about  his 
person,  a  search  would  spoil  all,  by  putting  him  on  his  guard, 
whereas  if  he  should  offer  none  of  them,  no  harm  would  be 
done,  and  things  would  remain  in  statu  quo. 

With  these  views  I  made  a  confidant  of  the  landlord  of  the 
hotel  which  contained  the  bowling  saloon,  and  agreed  to  meet 
him  there  early  in  the  evening  for  a  (C  roll,”  and  arranged  that 
in  case  the  young  man  came  in  as  usual,  my  partner  should 
excuse  himself,  and  substitute  L.  in  his  place,  to  oblige  a 
stranger,  who,  of  course,  was  rolling  merely  for  exercise. 

My  design  in  making  this  arrangement  was  to  fasten  the 
expense  of  the  evening’s  recreation  upon  L.  by  a  brilliant  and 
overpowering  display  of  my  skill  in  bowling,  calculating  that 
he  would  probably  pass  some  of  the  stolen  money  in  payment. 
This  was  my  programme — how  it  was  executed  I  shall  proceed 
to  show. 

“  Mine  host”  and  I  had  been  rolling  perhaps  half  an  hour, 
when  a  fine-looking,  well-dressed  young  man  entered  the 
saloon,  whom  I  at  once  recognised  as  L.  The  landlord  and 
myself  happened  to  be  the  only  ones  then  engaged  in  playing, 


THE  BOWLING  SALOON. 


59 


as  it  was  rather  early  in  the  evening  for  the  appearance  of  most 
of  those  who  resorted  there;  so  L.  watched  our  game  for  a 
while,  till  the  landlord,  looking  at  his  watch,  remarked  that  he 
had  an  engagement  which  must  be  attended  to  immediately, 
and  turning  to  L.,  said, 

“  Here,  Tom,  you  take  my  place  with  this  gentleman,  for 
I’ve  got  to  go  away.” 

“  Enough  said,”  replied  Tom.  11 1  am  always  on  hand  for 
most  any  kind  of  a  ball .” 

As  I  looked  at  the  pleasing  features  and  intelligent  counte¬ 
nance  of  the  young  man,  a  pang  of  sorrow  shot  through  my  heart, 
to  think  that  over  his  head  the  invisible  sword  of  justice  was 
even  now  suspended.  But  such  reflections  are  unprofitable, 
inasmuch  as  they  tend  to  unfit  one  for  the  discharge  of  pain¬ 
ful  duty.  So  I  dismissed  them  as  far  as  I  could,  and  applied 
myself  to  my  double  game — 

“  Rolling  down  at  once,  by  a  double  stroke, 

A  ma,n,  as  well  as  a  pin.” 

The  first  roll  of  my  new  antagonist  shook  my  faith  in  the 
feasibility  of  my  plan,  for  the  ball  went  clattering  among  the 
wooden  platoons  like  the  grape-shot  at  BalaklaVti,  and  in  an 
instant  ten  block  heads  bit  the  dust. 

“A  rather  bad  beginning,”  thought  I;  “but  I  don’t  believe 
he  can  do  that  again.” 

Comforting  myself  with  this  reflection,  I  applied  all  the 
practical  and  theoretical  skill  I  was  master  of,  to  vanquish  my 
experienced  foe.  I  called  to  mind  my  long  dormant  and  slen¬ 
der  knowledge  about  the  angles  of  incidence  and  reflection.  I 
considered  the  nature  of  resultant  forces,  and  the  effect  which 
a  ball  impinging  on  pin  A  would  have  upon  the  uprightness 
of  its  neighbors,  B,  C,  &c.  I  thus  devised  theoretical  “ten 
strikes,”  which  (doubtless  from  some  defect  in  the  reasoning) 
would  fall  short  of  my  ideal  standard  by  as  much  as  four  or 
five  pins;  and  on  several  occasions,  the  ball  strayed  almost 


I 

60  THE  AGENT  WORSTED. 

innocuously  through  the  ranks,  prostrating  only  one  or  two  of 
the  outposts.  I  had  a  few  transient  gleams  of  light  when  my 
adversary  grew  somewhat  careless,  perhaps  from  continued 
success ;  but  darkness  soon  returned  upon  my  prospects,  and  I 
saw  in  my  mind’s  eye  the  money  coming  from  my  pocket  and 
not  his. 

We  held  but  little  conversation  during  the  progress  of  our 
game,  for  my  thoughts  were  preoccupied  with  my  ultimate  ob¬ 
ject,  and  L.  made  no  great  effort  to  overcome  my  taciturnity; 
yet  some  casual  remarks  were  made  which  showed  that  he 
identified  me  as  the  person  who  inquired  for  letters  for  u  Robert 
Marshall,  railroad  contractor.” 

After  playing  thus  for  some  time,  he  invited  me  to  take  a 
glass  of  ale,  which  proposition  I  gladly  accepted,  as  it  would 
give  me  one  more  chance  to  know  Something  about  the  contents 
of  his  pocket  book.  I  began  to  think  that  my  toils  were  nearly 
over,  and  as  we  stood  imbibing  the  fluid,  I  could  hardly  wait 
until  the  glasses  were  emptied,  in  my  impatience  to  see  the 
bank-note  produced  which  was  to  settle  at  once  the  bill,  and 
him. 

Delusive  anticipations  !  The  credit  system  interposed  to 
crush  my  hopes,  for  L.  said  to  the  bar-tender,  u  Put  it  down 
to  me,  Jim.” 

As  “  Jim”  put  it  down,  I  felt  put  down,  and  followed  my 
companion  back  to  the  alley  as  humbly  as  if  we  had  changed 
places,  and  I  was  the  suspected  one. 

“  Come,  Mr.  L.,”  said  I,  after  we  had  resumed  our  game, 
u  you  play  so  much  better  than  I  that  you  will  be  safe  in  giving 
me  some  little  advantage.  Just  allow  me  twenty  on  a  ‘  string/ 
and  let  me  see  if  I  can  do  any  better  at  that.” 

“  Very  well,  sir,”  said  he,  “  I  will  do  it,  although  I  am  afraid 
you  will  be  too  much  for  me.” 

Rut  I  was  not,  and  after  playing  until  the  establishment 
closed  for  the  night,  I  found  myself  under  the  disagreeable 
necessity  of  paying  some  three  dollars  for  the  privilege  of  being 
thoroughly  defeated,  deducting  the  benefit  received  from  more 
than  two  hours’  hard  work  ! 


' 

A 


. 


'  f  j 

*V 


" 

> 

, 


•  • 


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■ 

r 


: 


‘ 


M 


■ 


TIIE  RESTAURANT. 


61 


One  other  expedient  suggested  itself,  namely,  offering  in 
payment  a  twenty  dollar  note,  in  the  hope  that  the  proprietor, 
finding  it  inconvenient  to  make  change,  would  call  on  the  vic¬ 
torious  clerk  to  accommodate  him,  and  thus  would  bring  to  light 
the  missing  hills.  But  this  device  also  failed. 

I  did  not  yet  “  give  up  the  ship.” 

“  I  don’t  know  how  it  is  with  you,  L.,”  said  I,  “  but  I  feel 
rather  empty  about  the  epigastric  region,  after  such  a  pull  as 
you  have  given  me,  and  I  should  think  you  might  afford  to 
treat  a  fellow.” 

“Well,  I  don’t  care  if  I  do,”  said  he.  11 1  feel  a  sort  of 
gnawing  under  my  vest.  Come  up  stairs,  and  we’ll  get  some¬ 
thing.” 

To  this  I  replied  that  I  was  tired  of  the  noise,  and  would 
rather  go  to  some  more  quiet  place.  He  readily  assented,  and 
led  the  way  to  a  neighboring  restaurant.  We  ensconced  our¬ 
selves  within  one  of  the  curtained  recesses,  and  here  I  devoted 
myself  to  the  consumption  of  as  much  “  provant”  as  my  diges¬ 
tive  organs  could  dispose  of,  with  the  intention  of  running  up 
as  large  a  bill  as  possible,  in  order  that  a  bank-note  might  be 
offered  in  payment,  and  the  desired  proof  of  my  companion’s 
guilt  secured.  I  saw  through  the  corner  of  my  eye  that  he 
seemed  to  be  studying  my  physiognomy,  and  the  thought  came 
into  my  mind  that  his  readiness  to  “  treat”  was  owing  to  his 
wish  for  a  good  opportunity  to  find  out  something  more  about 
me.  We  had  begun  to  talk  about  various  kinds  of  occupations, 
and  he  inquired, 

“Is  not  your  business  a  profitable  one,  Mr. — Marshall,  I 
believe  ?” 

I  acknowledged  the  name,  and  said  that  my  business  was 
anything  but  a  profitable  one.* 

“  Isn’t  it  a  rather  ticklish  one,  now-a-days  ?  so  much  ras¬ 
cality  you  know.” 


*  See  Act  of  Congress  establishing  the  compensation  of  Special 
Agents. 


6 


I 

62  CREDIT  SYSTEM. 

“  Yes,  but  I  mean  to  look  out  sharp  for  rogues,  and  to  be 
nretty  sure  that  I  deal  with  people  I  can  trust.” 

u  X  have  a  very  good  situation  in  the  post-office,”  said  be, 
u  but  I  sometimes  wish  to  be  where  I  could  have  more  variety 
— some  kind  of  business  that  would  require  me  to  travel.” 

u  You  had  better  be  contented  where  you  are,”  replied  I; 
“  this  seventeen-year  old  fever  never  did  any  one  much  good. 
If  you  are  faithful  in  your  present  place,  you  will  have  no 
trouble  in  getting  a  better  situation  a  few  years  hence.” 

To  this  he  made  no  reply,  and  the  conversation  dropped. 

After  I  had  appeased  “the  sacred  rage  of  hunger,”  and 
added  some  works  of  supererogation  in  that  line  for  the  fur¬ 
therance  of  my  object,  we  emerged  from  our  retreat,  as  “the 
iron  tongue  of  midnight”  was  tolling  twelve,  which  sounded  to 
me  like  the  knell  of  my  companion’s  doom,  for  I  felt  confident 
that  the  time  had  now  come  for  the  denouement  of  the  two-act 
drama  which  we  had  been  playing  that  evening.  It  seemed 
extremely  improbable  that  there  should  be  here  any  accommo¬ 
dating  “  Jim”  to  score  down  the  little  bill  for  future  settlement. 
But  there  was.  We  went  up  to  what  was  then  the  bar,  but  in 
these  temperance  times  would  be  called  the  “  office,”  and  L. 
said  to  the  presiding  genius,  with  a  familiar  and  confident 
air,  “  Just  charge  that  to  me,  and  I’ll  make  it  all  right.” 

“  Bather  all  wrong,”  thought  I. 

As  we  passed  out  into  the  darkness  of  the  night  and  stood 
for  a  moment  on  the  steps,  I  thought  I  discovered,  by  the 
faint  light  of  a  street  lamp,  my  companion  observing  me  with 
scrutinizing  glances,  thus  seeming  to  indicate  a  suspicion  on 
his  part  that  our  rapid  acquaintance  and  companionship  had 
not  been  without  some  design,  which  he  was  desirous  of  pene¬ 
trating.  Indeed  a  fear  of  this  produced  anything  but  agree¬ 
able  reflections  after  we  had  separated,  and  I  had  retired  to 
my  lodgings.  Could  it  be  that  a  suspicion  of  my  real  object 
had  prevented  him  from  paying  for  the  ale,  and  settling  the 
bill  at  the  restaurant?  It  seemed  possible,  certainly,  yet  under 
other  circumstances  I  should  have  thought  nothing  of  the 


LETTER  TO  THE  AGENT. 


63 


occurrence,  and  he  seemed  to  be  satisfied  with  the  u  dodge” 
of  the  u  railroad  contractor.” 

Then  came  a  doubt  as  to  the  wisdom  of  the  policy  I  had 
adopted,  in  allowing  him  to  be  at  large,  instead  of  arresting 
him  at  once  on  the  disappearance  of  the  decoy  letter.  Sev¬ 
eral  days  had  elapsed  since  it  was  taken,  and  the  probability  of 
finding  any  part  of  its  contents  upon  him,  hardly  seemed  to  war¬ 
rant  a  resort  to  that  course  now )  so,  on  the  whole,  I  concluded 
to  persevere  in  the  cautious  line  of  policy  with  which  I  had 
commenced. 

In  the  course  of  a  conversation  which  I  held  with  the  afore¬ 
mentioned  landlord,  on  the  following  day,  the  fact  came  tc 
light  that  he  had  a  claim  against  L.,  for  money  loaned.  It 
occurred  to  me  that  an  urgent  application  for  its  repayment 
might  accomplish  the  desired  object,  and  I  requested  the 
landlord  to  assist  me  in  this  way.  He  readily  complied,  and 
after  a  second  appeal  the  debt  was  discharged,  and  among  the 
money,  which  I  lost  no  time  in  comparing  with  the  descrip¬ 
tion  of  that  purloined  from  the  letter,  was  a  five  dollar  note 
that  I  at  once  identified  as  one  of  the  stolen  bills. 

Notwithstanding  this  overwhelming  evidence  as  to  the 
origin  of  the  mail  depredations  on  this  route,  there  were  good 
reasons  for  further  delay  in  making  the  arrest,  especially  as  it 
seemed  unlikely  that  the  person  detected  would  know  anything 
of  his  real  situation  for  a  few  days.  During  this  interval,  I 
found  it  necessary  to  visit  a  neighboring  city.  The  reader 
may  judge  of  my  surprise  at  receiving,  two  days  afterwards,  a 
letter,  of  which  the  following  is  a  copy : — 

Sir, 

I  have  dscertained,  no  matter  how,  that  you  are  the  “  rail¬ 
road  contractor”  whom  I  met  in  the  basement  of  the  hotel  in  this 
place  a  few  evenings  since,  and  who  partook  of  my  hospitalities  after¬ 
wards  at  M - ’s  saloon.  Also  that  you  entertained  and  perhaps 

still  entertain  some  doubts  of  my  honesty,  as  a  clerk  in  the  post-office 
here. 

I  am  sorry  you  had  not  the  candor  to  say  as  much  to  my  face,  and 


64 


THE  ARREST. 


tuus  afford  me  the  opportunity  of  satisfying  you  as  to  my  standing 
and  character  among  those  who  have  known  me  best  and  longest. 
You  are  welcome,  sir,  to  all  the  advantage  you  obtained  in  your  under¬ 
handed  dealings  with  me  on  the  occasion  referred  to ;  if,  however,  you 
cannot  prostrate  private  character  faster  than  you  can  ten-pins,  I 
think  I  have  but  little  to  fear  at  present. 

Yours,  not  very  respectfully, 

Thomas  L - . 


To  J.  Holbrook, 
Special  Agent,  P.  0.  Dept. 


How  this  clue  to  my  official  identity  was  obtained,  I  failed 
to  discover  at  the  time,  and  have  been  no  wiser  on  that  point 
at  any  period  since.  Nor  was  it  of  much  account,  as  the 
information,  from  whatever  quarter  derived,  came  too  late  to 
be  of  any  avail,  and  after  he  had  exposed  himself  by  passing 
the  money  which  had  been  placed  in  the  mail  to  detect  him. 
When  he  was  preparing  the  above  epistle,  congratulating  him¬ 
self  on  my  want  of  skill  at  prostrating  “  private  character,” 
little  did  he  think  that  I  had  already  achieved  a  sweeping  u  ten- 
strike”  in  his  own  case  ! 

The  necessary  complaint  was  made,  a  warrant  issued,  and 
the  unfortunate  young  man  taken  into  custody  by  the  U.  S. 
Marshal.  I  shall  never  forget  the  indescribable  look  which  he 
gave  me  as  he  entered  the  office  of  the  U.  S.  Commissioner, 
for  a  preliminary  examination.  It  was  the  first  time  we  had 
met  since  the  memorable  roll  and  supper,  and  the  quondam 
(C  railroad  contractor”  now  first  appeared  to  his  eye  transmuted 
into  the  formidable  11  Special  Agent.” 

There  was  little  surprise  in  his  look,  but  an  expression  of 
mortified  pride  and  anger,  as  he  addressed  me  in  a  low  tone, 
u  I  thought  I  should  meet  you  here  1” 
u  Well,  Thomas,”  said  I,  “I  don’t  know  as  you  will  believe 
me,  but,  I  assure  you,  I  heartily  regret  that  you  are  brought 
to  this  pass,  and  if  the  ends  of  justice  could  be  answered,  I 
should  be  the  first  to  let  you  go  free.” 


THE  NEXT  MEETING. 


65 


u  Perhaps  you  would/’  replied  he,  moodily.  u  It’s  easy 
enough  to  say  so.” 

u  But/’  I  remarked,  u  I  want  you  to  take  a  reasonable 
view  of  the  matter.  You  cannot  think  me  so  destitute  of 
common  humanity  as  to  wish  to  place  any  one  in  such  an  unpleas¬ 
ant  position,  much  less  a  young  man  like  yourself,  so  capable 
of  better  things.” 

He  appeared  to  be  somewhat  impressed  by  the  earnestness 
with  which  I  spoke,  and  answered  in  a  softened  tone, 

H  I  suppose  I  ought  to  believe  you,  but  it  seems  hard  to  be 
entrapped  in  the  way  I  have  been.” 

“  It  may  be  the  best  thing  that  could  have  happened  to  you 
under  the  circumstances,”  said  I,  u  and  I  sincerely  hope  that 
it  will  prove  so.” 

I  was  desirous  of  making  him  see  that  I  was  actuated  in 
the  course  I  had  taken  by  no  motive  other  than  a  wish  to  dis¬ 
charge  my  duty  faithfully,  and  therefore  left  him  for  the  time 
to  consider  what  I  had  said,  confident  that  a  little  reflection 
would  calm  his  ruffled  temper,  and  lead  him  to  a  correct  view 
of  the  case.  In  this  I  was  not  mistaken,  and  when  I  urged 
him  to  make  a  confession  on  the  ground  of  justice  to  others, 
and  his  own  interest,  he  “made  a  clean  breast”  of  it,  and  gave 
in  substance  the  account  of  his  downward  course,  with  which 
the  reader  is  already  familiar.  He  expressed  much  regret 
and  penitence,  and  a  mournful  satisfaction  that  his  mother 
was  not  alive  to  know  of  his  disgrace. 

It  seems  unnecessary  to  pursue  the  subject  further.  The 
force  of  the  lesson  it  is  calculated  to  teach  would  not  thus  be 
increased,  and  the  feelings  of  some  might  be  harrowed  up. 
who  should  rather  receive  sympathy  and  consolation. 


6* 


CHAPTER  III. 


Business  Rivalry — Country  Gossiping — Museum  of  Antiquities — New 
Post  Master — Serious  Rumors — Anonymous  Letters — Package  de¬ 
tained — Bar-room  Scene — Ratifications  of  the  Law — First  Citizens 
— Rascally  Enemies — Lawyer’s  Office — Gratuitous  Backing — Tele¬ 
graphing — U.  S.  Marshal  arrives — The  Charge — The  Fatal  Quarter 
— Enemies’  Triumph — The  Warrant — Singular  Effects  of  Fear — 
A  Faithful  Wife — Sad  Memories — The  Squire’s  Surprise — All 
right. 

The  jealousies  and  rivalry  often  existing  between  persons 
of  similar  occupations,  wbicli  supply  tbe  truth  contained  in 
the  old  proverb,  u  Two  of  a  trade  can  never  agree,”  are  fos¬ 
tered  and  strengthened  in  small  towns  to  an  extent  which  is 
not  as  conspicuous,  and  perhaps  not  as  frequently  observed  in 
larger  places.  For  this  general  spirit  of  emulation  and  strife 
is  greatly  aggravated  by  the  interest  that  almost  all  the  inha¬ 
bitants  of  small  communities  feel  in  the  sayings  and  doings  of 
their  neighbors. 

This  interest  is  too  often  manifested  by  reporting  from  one 
to  another  hasty  and  ill-considered  speeches,  which  should  be 
suffered  to  die  where  they  are  born ;  but  thus  set  in  motion  by 
careless  tongues,  for  the  benefit  of  itching  ears,  they  roll  on 
like  snow-balls,  and  attain  a  size  and  shape  hardly  recognisable 
by  those  who  gave  them  their  first  impulse. 

An  incidental,  but  an  important  consequence  of  these  cir¬ 
cumstances,  is  the  ready  formation  of  parties  about  almost 

(66) 


COUNTRY  GOSSIP. 


G7 


every  quarrel  that  may  arise  in  such  a  village.  The  tranquil 
surface  of  country  life  is  in  this  way  disturbed,  like  that  of  a 
still  lake  by  the  plunge  of  a  stone  into  its  bosom,  and  the 
resulting  waves,  in  both  instances,  extend  indefinitely  in  every 
direction. 

The  bustling  little  town  of  H.  was  not  exempt  from  the 
evils  at  which  I  have  glanced,  for  the  half-dozen  shopkeepers 
who  supplied  the  inhabitants  with  their  necessaries  and  luxu¬ 
ries,  fully  exemplified  the  truth  of  the  proverb  above  quoted. 
Their  rivalry,  however,  was  not  exercised  by  and  toward  one 
another  impartially,  but  it  was  rather  a  contest  between  the 
old,  established  merchants  of  the  place,  and  one  whose  coming 
was  of  a  comparatively  recent  date.  It  was,  in  short,  a  com¬ 
petition  between  Old  and  Young  America. 

The  old  school  merchants  affected  to  look  with  contempt  on 
their  younger  brother  and  his  goods,  suggesting  that,  however 
alluring  his  prices  and  commodities  might  be,  his  customers 
would  find  to  their  cost,  that  “  All  is  not  gold  that  glitters.” 
Hints  were  thrown  out  about  calicoes  that  u  did  from  their 
color  fiy,”  and  sugar  that  was  not  entirely  soluble  in  hot 
water.  It  was  also  darkly  intimated  that  B.  (the  merchant  in 
question)  couldn’t  stand  it  long  at  the  rate  he  was  going  on, 
rashly  keeping  his  assortment  full  all  the  time,  instead  of 
cautiously  waiting  until  an  article  was  ordered,  before  he  sent 
for  it.  This  sort  of  thing  would  never  do.  It  was  sure  to 
bring  him  to  ruin. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  enterprising  B.  ridiculed  the  clique 
of  u  old  fogies,”  as  he  termed  them,  and  characterized  their 
establishments  as  u  Museums  of  Antiquities.”  In  accordance 
with  the  spirit  of  the  age,  he  lined  his  shop  with  vast  hand¬ 
bills,  printed  on  type  of  stupendous  size,  so  that  he  who  runs 
might  read ;  with  such  headings  as  u  The  only  Cheap  Store  !” 
“  Fresh  and  fashionable  Goods  at  Low  Prices  !”  “  This  Stock 
of  Goods  bought  within  the  present  Century !”  and  other 
wonderful  announcements,  which  drew  the  susceptible  public 


08 


NEW  POST  MASTER. 


within  his  doors  to  a  greater  extent  than  was  agreeable  to  the 
feelings  or  the  interests  of  his  “  slower”  competitors. 

And  as  if  all  this  was  not  enough,  by  way  of  climax  to  his 
prosperous  course,  B.  received  the  appointment  of  post  master. 
The  post-office,  as  a  matter  of  course,  always  brings  an  increase 
of  business  to  the  store  where  it  is  kept ;  and  in  the  present 
instance,  B.  did  not  fail  to  secure  all  the  advantages  arising 
from  his  position. 

And  so  successfully  did  he  manage  his  affairs,  with  this  addi¬ 
tional  impetus,  that  one  or  two  of  his  opponents,  finding  many 
of  their  customers  deserting  them  by  reason  of  the  superior 
attractions  of  the  u  new  store,”  abandoned  the  field  in  disgust, 
determined,  however,  to  lose  no  opportunity  of  undermining 
the  object  of  their  jealousy,  or  at  least  of  injuring  his  pros¬ 
pects. 

Humors,  detrimental  not  only  to  his  reputation  as  a  man  of 
business,  but  to  his  character  as  a  post  master,  soon  got  abroad. 
How  they  originated,  no  one  knew;  whether  they  had  any 
foundation  in  truth,  no  one  could  say.  The  baseless  reports 
which  malice  invents,  have  no  more  permanent  effect  upon  an 
upright  character,  than  have  flying  clouds  upon  the  mountain 
which  they  may  temporarily  obscure;  and  it  is  only  when 
rumors  are  weighted  by  truth,  that  they  can  injure  materially 
the  object  at  which  they  are  aimed. 

“  Honor  dwelling  in  the  heart, 

Welcome  friends  or  welcome  foes. 

Whensoe’er  it  doth  depart,. 

Smiles  are  weak,  but  strong  are  blows.” 

Anonymous  letters  were  despatched  to  the  Post  Master 
General,  expressing  a  want  of  confidence  in  the  management 
of  the  office,  and  hinting  at  something  of  a  more  criminal 
nature  than  mere  official  carelessness  and  neglect ;  but  as  such 
complaints  are  always  disregarded  when  unaccompanied  by 
responsible  names  (being  considered  the  result  of  personal 
rivalry  or  malice),  nothing  was  done  in  the  premises. 


V 


BUSINESS  RIVALS.  G9 

These  unknown  correspondents,  however,  did  not  cease  from 
their  machinations,  and  it  soon  came  to  the  ears  of  the  ob¬ 
noxious  post  master,  that  he  had  been  assailed  at  head-quarters ; 
unjustly,  as  he  claimed.  So  he  lost  no  time  in  repelling  the 
u  vile  slanders”  through  the  medium  of  sundry  long-winded 
communications  to  the  Department,  the  burthen  of  which  was, 
that  business  rivals  had  done  it  all ;  and  that  the  ridiculous 
stories  which  had  been  set  afloat,  originated  entirely  in  the 
unworthy  design  of  building  up  their  authors  on  the  ruins  of 
his  good  name.  And  in  the  most  indignant  terms  he  courted, 
and  even  demanded,  a  careful  investigation  of  his  official  acts 
and  his  private  character. 

These  various  communications  on  both  sides  were  all 
referred  to  the  Special  Agent,  that  he  might  establish  either 
the  truth  or  the  falsity  of  the  charges  made  against  this  post 
master. 

The  first  step  was  to  obtain  a  private  interview  with  some 
of  the  complainants,  who  were  traced  out  by  means  of  the 
specimens  of  their  handwriting  furnished  by  the  letters  they 
had  sent  to  the  Department. 

They  readily  admitted  themselves  to  be  the  authors  of  those 
documents,  after  having  been  assured  that  the  Government 
had  no  other  object  than  to  ascertain  the  truth,  and  to  protect 
the  rights  of  the  citizens  who  had  an  interest  in  the  post-office. 
I  gave  them  to  understand  that  the  Department  required 
something  more  than  mere  assertion  as  a  ground  for  decided 
action ;  and  suggested,  that  if  those  charges  were  well  founded, 
which  represented  the  loss  of  valuable  letters  posted  at  that 
office,  their  truth  could  be  shown  by  furnishing  a  list  of  such 
letters,  and  a  statement  of  all  the  facts,  by  the  parties  imme¬ 
diately  interested. 

As  had  been  stated,  the  accusers  of  B.  proved  to  be  his 
rivals  in  trade,  and  their  active  friends,  animated  and  impelled 
by  that  bitter  competition  of  which  I  have  already  spoken. 

In  addition  to  the  causes  to  which  I  have  alluded  as  espe¬ 
cially  influential  in  country  places,  to  produce  such  a  state  of 


70  A  SCREW  LOOSE. 

feeling,  may  be  mentioned  a  sectarian  spirit,  the  bane  of  many 
small  villages,  creating  needless  prejudices,  dividing  the  com¬ 
munity  into  discordant  fragments,  and  forcing  a  man  to  stand, 
in  a  degree  at  least,  not  on  bis  own  merits,  but  on  tbe  prefer¬ 
ence  of  tbe  sect  with  wbicb  be  may  be  connected.  Tbis  sen¬ 
timent  is  in  some  measure  natural,  and  unavoidable.  Simi¬ 
larity  of  opinion  tends  to  create  favorable  prepossessions 
toward  those  wbo  thus  agree,  but  is  ever  liable  to  produce  an 
exclusive  feeling  wbicb  does  injustice  to  all  concerned. 

Thus  arises  mucb  of  tbe  sympathy  and  preferences  wbicb 
are  so  strongly  felt  in  small  communities,  especially  towards 
merchants  and  professional  men. 

Dr.  Wilkins  goes  to  our  meeting,  therefore  be  is  a  good  doc¬ 
tor,  whatever  other  folks  may  say.  Mrs.  Garfield,  tbe  trader’s 
wife,  is  such  a  good  woman,  and  did  so  mucb  in  fixing  up  our 
church  and  tbe  vestry,  that  we  must  all  u  patronize”  her  bus- 
band,  and  sustain  him  against  bis  enemies,  wbo  oppose  him 
solely  on  account  of  bis  activity,  and  that  of  bis  family,  in 
building  up  u  our  society.”  Dr.  Wilkins  may  not  be  emi¬ 
nently  successful  in  tbe  treatment  of  bis  patients,  and  Mr. 
Garfield  may  be  far  from  remarkable  for  bis  moderate  prices, 
yet  their  enthusiastic  friends  stick  to  them  through  thick  and 
thin. 

All  these  things  must  be  taken  into  tbe  account  in  pursuing 
investigations  like  those  wbicb  I  bad  just  commenced,  and 
due  allowance  made  for  tbe  disturbing  forces  acting  on  tbe 
minds  of  those  who  undertake  to  furnish  tbe  required  infor¬ 
mation.  Tbe  rubbish  of  selfishness  and  gossip  must  be  thrown 
aside,  and  only  those  statements  regarded  wbicb  are  corrob¬ 
orated  by  sufficient  evidence. 

Acting  upon  tbis  rule  in  tbe  present  instance,  but  willing, 
in  justice  to  tbe  accused  as  well  as  to  tbe  public,  to  follow  up 
even  tbe  accusations  of  open  enemies,  I  instituted  careful  in¬ 
quiries  in  tbe  right  quarter,  wbicb  soon  established  tbe  fact 
that  there  was  a  screw  loose  not  far  from  that  post  office,  if  not 
directly  in  connection  with  it.  But  for  some  weeks  previous, 


STRAY  MONEY  LETTER. 


71 


no  letters  had  been  disturbed  which  were  deposited  in  or  ad¬ 
dressed  to  this  office,  the  failures  having  been  confined  to  the 
mails  which  passed  through  it  and  were  there  assorted.  This 
circumstance  rather  confirmed  suspicion  than  otherwise,  for 
the  post  master  being  aware  of  the  complaints  sent  to  Wash¬ 
ington,  would  consider  it  necessary  to  use  greater  caution  in 
carrying  on  his  depredations  (if  he  were  guilty,)  especially  in 
regard  to  the  class  of  letters  taken.  But  in  such  cases,  as  in 
those  that  come  under  the  supervision  of  medical  art,  various 
applications  are  required  according  to  the  changes  in  symptoms 
and  circumstances. 

For  instance,  I  might  perhaps  have  worked  to  this  day  in 
the  ordinary  line  of  experiments,  such  as  depositing  special 
test  letters  in  that  office,  or  sending  them  to  be  delivered 
there,  and  all  to  no  purpose.  They  would,  for  a  time  at  least, 
have  been  the  object  of  special  care,  and  particular  pains 
would  have  been  taken  for  their  safe  dispatch ;  while  if  dis¬ 
honesty  really  existed,  it  would  seek  out  and  avail  itself  of 
such  opportunities  as  would  not  be  likely  to  betray  it,  or  to 
attract  the  attention  of  the  self-constituted  u  vigilance  com¬ 
mittee,”  which  had  already  sounded  the  alarm. 

With  such  views,  I  adopted  a  species  of  “  decoy”  which  X 
thought  best  suited  to  meet  the  exigencies  of  the  case.  In 
the  first  place  a  document  was  prepared  addressed  to  an  imagi¬ 
nary  firm  at  Rouse’s  Point,  New  York.  It  read  as  follows : 

Boston,  March  20,  1850. 

Messrs.  Baxter  &  Clark, 

Gentlemen, 

Herewith  you  will  receive  twenty-five  dollars  and  fifty  cents,  the 
balance  of  my  account,  and  for  which  you  will  please  send  me  a  re¬ 
ceipt  as  soon  as  convenient. 

When  does  either  of  your  firm  intend  to  visit  Boston  ?  I  like  the 
articles  you  last  sent  me  very  much  better  than  the  former  ones,  and 
so  say  my  customers, — will  send  you  another  order  before  long. 

Very  Respectfully  Yours, 

F.  P.  Crane,  Jr. 


72 


OLD  MAID’S  EPISTLE. 


Bank  notes  of  a  small  denomination  were  used  to  make  up 
the  twenty-five  dollars  named  in  the  letter,  and  two  American 
quarters  enclosed,  to  make  it  more  attractive ;  both  bills  and 
specie  having  been  marked,  and  a  full  description  of  them 
taken. 

Another  letter,  written  in  a  different  hand,  addressed  to  a 
lady,  and  containing  nothing  of  value,  was  also  prepared  and 
placed  in  a  note  envelope,  to  accompany  the  above  business 
letter.  Here  is  a  copy  of  it : — 


Boston,  March  19,  1850. 


My  Dear  Cousin, 

Since  you  visited  us,  we  have  experienced  important  changes.  Our 
family  is  pretty  much  broken  up  by  George’s  death.  Father  and 
mother  depended  so  much  on  him  to  manage  our  out  of  doors  affairs, 
that  they  don’t  feel  like  keeping  house  any  longer,  and  have  gone 
to  boarding,  and  as  I  shall  not  have  any  particular  household  cares, 
I  expect  to  be  floating  about,  like  many  others  of  the  sisterhood  of 
old  maids,  ready  to  make  myself  generally  useful. 

-  Perhaps  I  may  inflict  a  visit  on  you  in  the  course  of  the  summer, 
and  help  you  to  take  care  of  that  baby.  I  can’t  stop  to  write  any 
more,  for  we  are  hardly  settled  after  moving.  Father  and  mother 
send  love  to  you  and  husband. 

Your  Affectionate 

Sarah. 


My  object  in  sending  this  second  missive  was  to  prevent 
any  suspicion  that  otherwise  might  arise  in  regard  to  the 
money-letter.  For  it  might  reasonably  be  presumed  that  the 
accused  post  master  would  be  on  the  watch  for  anything  that 
could  by  any  possibility  compromise  him ;  and  a  solitary  letter 
containing  funds,  passing  through  his  office,  might  “  give  him 
pause,”  in  case  he  should  have  any  desire  to  appropriate  its 
contents. 

Both  letters  were  directed  to  House’s  Point,  N.  Y.,  regu¬ 
larly  past-marked  at  the  Boston  post-office,  and  the  post  bill 
also  made  out  for  Rouse’s  Point.  But  on  the  outside  wrapper 
was  purposely  written  the  name  of  the  office  which  I  wished 
to  test.  This  would  excite  no  suspicion,  for  mistakes  such  as 


THE  ((  MIS-SENT”  PACKAGE. 


73 


this  appeared  to  be,  do  sometimes  occur  in  the  hurry  of 
making  up  the  mails.  Instead  of  putting  the  package  into 
the  mail,  however,  I  conveyed  it  myself  to  a  point  near  the 
town  of  H.,  and  saw  it  placed  in  the  pouch  just  before  it 
reached  that  office. 

The  question  now  to  be  settled  was,  whether  on  taking  off 
the  wrapper  (marked  “  H.”  as  the  reader  will  remember,)  and 
finding  the  enclosed  letters  directed  to  another  place,  he  would 
forward  them  to  their  address,  as  was  his  duty,  or  would 
appropriate  them  to  himself,  believing  that  they  had  come 
there  in  consequence  of  a  mere  accident,  and  that  if  he  should 
see  fit  to  take  possession  of  them,  the  circumstances  of  the 
case  would  effectually  conceal  his  crime,  and  render  search 
unavailing. 

It  may  be  said  that  this  was  carrying  temptation  too  far. 
By  no  means.  What  degree  of  integrity  should  be  reasonably 
required,  let  me  ask,  of  a  person  in  the  service  of  the  public, 
occupying  a  responsible  position  like  that  of  a  post  master  ? 
upon  whose  fidelity  depend  the  prompt  and  safe  transaction  of 
business,  and  the  security  of  many  other  interests  of  social  life. 
Will  a  valetudinarian  virtue  answer  the  purpose?  a  virtue  strong 
against  weak  temptations,  but  weak  against  strong  ones  ?  The 
man  whose  principles  cannot  withstand  every  degree  of  entice¬ 
ment  to  dishonesty,  is  unfit  for  any  place  of  trust. 

Furthermore,  the  combination  of  circumstances  which  I  have 
just  described,  might  occur  in  the  experience  of  any  post  master 
throughout  the  country,  and  the  sufferers  by  the  unfaithfulness 
of  an  official  so  tempted,  would  hardly  be  satisfied  with  being  told 
that  he  could  have  resisted  any  ordinary  enticement,  but  that 
such  an  opportunity  was  too  good  to  be  lost. 

It  should  be  borne  in  mind  that  up  to  this  time,  the  party 
whose  character  was  involved  in  these  investigations  and  ex¬ 
periments,  was  totally  unaware  of  the  visits  of  the  Agent  to  his 
neighborhood. 

The  mis-sent  package  referred  to,  arrived  at  the  office  in  H. 
on  the  evening  of  the  day  that  it  left  Boston,  and  should  have 
7 


74 


4 


THE  WRAPPER  APPEARS. 


been  remailed  and  forwarded  on  the  following  morning;  but 
a  close  examination  of  the  contents  of  the  mail-bag  soon  after 
it  left  H.,  failed  to  bring  to  light  the  hidden  treasure.  No 
package  for  Rouse’s  Point  made  its  appearance. 

This,  however,  did  not  make  out  a  clear  case  against  the 
“  persecuted”  official,  neither  did  it  justify  his  arrest. 

It  occurred  to  me,  on  failing  to  find  the  letters  referred  to, 
that  the  wrapper  in  which  they  had  been  enclosed,  might  have 
been  used  in  sending  off  other  letters  that  morning,  it  being 
the  custom  in  most  of  the  smaller  offices,  as  a  matter  of  econo¬ 
my,  to  use  the  same  wrappers  several  times  by  turning  or 
reversing  them.  A  short  search  produced  the  paper  in  ques¬ 
tion,  which  I  removed  from  the  package  it  enclosed,  and  sub¬ 
stituted  another  in  its  place. 

Here  was  an  additional  proof  that  the  decoy  package  had 
reached  the  office  at  H.,  and  had  been  opened,  as  the  new 
address  upon  the  wrapper  was  in  the  post  master’s  hand- writing. 
He  could  not  therefore  say  that  he  had  never  received  such  a 
package  at  his  office,  or  should  he  make  such  an  assertion,  as 
he  would  be  very  likely  to  do  if  he  were  guilty,  the  production 
of  this  envelope  would  shut  his  mouth,  and  go  far  to  prove  his 
evil  intentions. 

But  the  case,  at  this  stage,  was  very  far  from  being  a  clear 
one  against  him,  and  he  yet  had  a  chance,  if  he  were  an  honest 
man,  of  coming  out  triumphant  over  the  efforts  of  malice,  and 
the  wiles  of  his  u  persecutors.” 

The  removal  of  the  wrapper  and  its  use  in  enclosing  other 
packages  was  all  natural  enough,  being,  as  I  have  said,  agree¬ 
able  to  the  frequent  custom  in  such  small  offices,  and  even  the 
non-appearance  of  the  House’s  Point  letters  might  yet  be  ac¬ 
counted  for  on  the  supposition  that  he  had  laid  them  aside  to 
be  forwarded,  and  had  forgotten  them ;  or  that  not  observing 
the  name  of  the  town  to  which  they  were  addressed,  he  had 
placed  them  in  the  u  general  delivery,”  where  they  might  at 
that  moment  be  lying  unmolested. 

Desirous  of  affording  the  suspected  man  a  fair  chance  to 


GOING  TO  COURT.  75 

prove  his  innocence  in  this  matter,  if  that  were  possible,  and 
acting  in  accordance  with  the  above-mentioned  charitable  snp-  ' 
positions,  I  allowed  two  other  opportunities  of  remailing  the 
letters  to  pass,  but  after  searching  in  vain  for  them  on  both 
occasions,  I  resolved  to  wait  upon  the  post  master  and  talk  over 
freely  and  frankly  the  subject  of  his  enemies’  attacks,  believing 
that  he  would  not  for  a  moment  dream  that  I  had  any  connec¬ 
tion  with  the  missing  package,  even  if  he  had  purloined  it, — 
a  calculation  which  afterwards  proved  to  be  perfectly  correct. 

Accordingly  I  proceeded  to  the  hotel  at  an  early  hour  in  the 
morning,  intending  not  to  seek  an  interview  with  him  till  after 
breakfast,  and  while  waiting  in  the  bar-room  I  overheard  the 
following  conversation.  For  convenience’  sake  I  will  indicate 
the  different  speakers  by  letters  of  the  alphabet. 

Mr.  A.  (to  C.  just  entering  the  room.) — “  Good  morning, 
Mr.  C.  Are  you  ‘armed  and  equipped  as  the  law  directs’  to  go 
over  to  F  ?”  (a  neighboring  town.) 

C. — “  You  mean  by  that,  I  suppose,  whether  I  have  laid  in 
enough  cigars  to  last  till  I  get  there,  and  patience  enough  to 
hold  out  till  I  can  get  back.” 

A. — “  It  will  be  a  tedious  business,  that’s  a  fact.  Here’s 
nobody  knows  how  many  going  over  from  this  town ;  no  end 
to  the  witnesses,  and  no  end  to  the  case,  I  don’t  believe;  at 
least  not  this  term  of  court.” 

‘‘Yes,”  broke  in  a  rough-looking  bystander,  “the  court  ’ll 
set  and  set,  and  never  hatch  out  nothin’  but  a  parcel  of  goslins 
for  the  lawyers  to  pluck.” 

A. — “  We  can’t  dispute  you,  L.,  for  you’ve  been  one  of  those 
same  ‘  goslins,’  I  believe.” 

L. — “  No  I  haint,  I’ve  been  a  darned  sight  wuss, — a  great 
goose.  I  swow  it  makes  me  mad  with  myself  whenever  I  think 
on’t.” 

“  Come,  daddy  L.,”  spoke  up  a  free  and  easy  specimen  of 
Young  America,  “  tell  us  about  that  great  law-suit  of  yours.  I 
never  heard  all  the  particulars.” 

“  Wal,  young  man,”  returned  L.  solemnly,  “I’ll  tell  you  all 


76 


RAMIFICATIONS  OF  THE  LAW. 


about  it,  hopin’  it’ll  be  a  warnin’  to  you  never  to  have  nothin’ 
to  do  with  the  law. 

“  About  fifteen,  mebbe  sixteen  year  ago,  afore  you’d  got 
through  hollerin  arter  your  mammy,  I  used  to  keep  consider¬ 
able  of  a  lot  of  sheep,  and  one  year  I  bought  a  ram  that  I’d 
taken  a  fancy  to  jest  because  he  was  sech  an  all-fired  big  feller, 
and  had  sech  thunderin’  curly  horns.  I  got  him  pretty  cheap, 
and  arter  I’d  had  him  awhile,  I  found  out  the  reason  on’t. 
He  was  the  darndest  buttin’,  jumpin’  feller  that  ever  I  see. 
There  couldn’t  a  calf  nor  a  colt  nor  nothin’  about  his  size  come 
into  the  pastur  where  he  was,  but  what  he’d  be  arter  it  and 
knock  it  into  a  cocked  hat  if  he  could  git  a  lick  at  it.  Fact, 
he  pretty  much  killed  two  or  three  likely  calves  that  I  had,  but 
the  colts  was  mostly  too  lively  for  him.  He  couldn’t  often  hit 
'em. 

a  Wal,  I  kinder  hated  to  kill  the  feller,  he  was  such  a  bus¬ 
ter,  so  I  shet  him  up  in  a  little  three-cornered  lot  so’s  to  have 
him  out  of  the  way  till  the  calves  was  killed  off  or  had  got 
bigger.  But  what  did  the  rascal  du  but  go  to  buttin’  agin  the 
stone  wall  that  kep  him  out  of  neighbor  Bliss’s  patch  o’  rye ; 
and  afore  he’d  bin  there  tew  days,  he  knocked  a  hole  in’t  and 
got  into  the  rye.  It  was  a  kinder  out  of  the  way  place  where 
the  lot  was,  so  he  had  a  chance  to  stay  there  all  night,  and 
’praps  a  little  longer.  Anyhow,  when  Bliss  found  it  out,  he 
was  hoppin’  mad. 

u  He’s  rether  techy  any  time,  but  he’d  bin  a  braggin’  on  this 
ere  field  o’rye,  how  he  was  goin’  to  beat  the  hull  town  on  it, 
and  to  have  that  old  ram  a  nibblin’  and  trottin’  threw  it,  and 
a  spilin  on’t,  sot  his  dander  up.  I  was  willin’  to  a’  paid  him 
suthin’  for  damages,  but  his  charges  was  tew  hot  for  me. 
Told  him  I’d  see  him  darned  afore  I’d  be  imposed  upon 
in  that  shape.  Wal,  he  said  he’d  sue  me,  and  sure  enuff  he 
did. 

u  We  kept  a  lawin’  on  it  considerable  of  a  spell.  Fust  the 
court  gin  him  his  damages ;  then  I  ’pealed,  and  the  case  kept 
a  gettin’  put  over  somehow  or  other,  till  the  ‘  all  wool  suit,’ 


77 


A  “  LEGAL  TENDER.” 

as  the  lawyers  got  to  callin'  it,  come  to  be  a  standin’  joke,  and 
I  was  heartily  sick  on’t.  Wal,  finally  we  contrived  to  settle 
it,  and  arter  payin’  Bliss  about  what  he  fust  asked,  I  had  my 
costs  to  see  tu,  and  I  went  to  Squire  Sharp,  my  lawyer,  to  see 
what  lie  was  a  goin’  to  charge  me  for  his  sarvices,  as  he  called 
it.  He  was  jest  as  smilin’  and  clever  as  a  baskit  o’  chips. 

“  1  Take  a  seat,  Mr.  L.’  says  he,  ‘  I’ll  find  your  little  account 
in  a  minit.  Pleasant  mornin’,  sir,  good  growin’  weather.’ 

u  Wal,  I  set  down  and  found  out  purty  soon  that  I’d  got 
’bout  fifty  dollars  to  pay  for  his  sarvices , — blame  ’em  ! 

u  1  Now,’  says  I,  ‘  Squire,  that  air’s  a  good  deal  o’  money 
for  a  man  like  me  tu  pay,  and  I  don’t  blieve  I  can  raise  it  all 
tu  wonst.  P’raps  you’d  take  part  out  in  produce,  jest  ter 
’commodate.’ 

tc  ‘ Oh,  yes,’  says  he,  1  Mr.  L.,  I’ll  take  anything  you’ve  a 
mind  to  bring.’ 

“  1  So,’  thinks  I,  1  I’ll  git  red  of  one  plague  by  the  means ;’ 
and  I  went  home  and  got  the  old  ram  and  carried  him  up 
to  the  Squire’s  house. 

“ ( Good  mornin’,  Squire,’  says  I,  1  I’ve  brought  the  fust 
instalment  on  my  little  account.’ 

“  1  The  deuce  you  have,’  says  he, ( what  do  you  suppose  I’m 
going  to  do  with  that  old  buck  ?’ 

“  ‘  Donno,  Squire,’  says  I,  1  all  I  know  is  that  you  said  you’d 
take  anything  I  was  a  mind  ter  bring,  and  this  ere  ram  is  legal 
tender ,  anyhow.’ 

“  Wal,  he  saw  he  was  kinder  stuck,  so  he  ’greed  to  take  it, 
and  ’low  me  five  dollars. 

u  I  heerd  arterwards  that  the  Squire  put  the  ram  into  an 
empty  hog-pen,  to  keep  him  until  he  could  sell  him,  but  the 
darned  critter  went  over  the  top  on’t,  and  tackled  Miss  Sharp, 
the  Squire’s  wife,  that  happened  to  be  a  stoopin’  down,  weedin’ 
her  posies  in  the  gardin,  upsot  her,  and  then  put  arter  little 
Jim,  one  of  her  boys,  and  floored  him,  and  ended  off  with 
knockin’  down  a  crazy  old  well-curb,  pitchin’  into  the  well, 
and  breakin’  his  neck,  or  drowndin’  himself,  I  donno  which. 
7* 


78 


ASSUMED  INNOCENCE. 


“ That’s  the  end  of  my  experience  in  law.  The  old  ram  cost 
me,  fust  and  last,  about  a  hundred  dollars.” 

After  the  conclusion  of  this  instructive  narration,  the  gene¬ 
ral  conversation,  which  for  the  time  had  been  suspended,  was 
resumed,  and  I  gathered  from  what  was  said  that  the  post 
master  was  one  of  the  principal  witnesses  in  the  trial  above 
alluded  to  by  Messrs  A.  &  C. ;  that  arrangements  had  been 
made  for  an  early  start,  as  the  place  where  the  court  was  to  be 
held  was  some  twelve  or  fifteen  miles  distant,  and  that  the 
hotel  where  we  were  was  the  place  of  rendezvous. 

I  observed  narrowly  every  new-comer,  and  soon  a  well- 
dressed,  intelligent-looking  man,  apparently  about  thirty  years 
old,  entered,  whom  I  took  to  be  the  very  gentleman  I  wished 
to  see.  My  conjecture  respecting  him  proved  to  be  correct, 
for  it  was  not  long  before  some  one  addressed  him,  inquiring 
whom  he  had  engaged  to  take  charge  of  the  post-office  during 
his  absence. 

Deeming  it  unsafe  to  delay  longer,  I  beckoned  him  out  of 
the  room,  unnoticed  by  others,  and  in  a  friendly  and  familiar 
manner,  introduced  myself,  taking  care  to  throw  him  off  his 
guard  by  remarking,  that  being  in  that  vicinity  I  had  con¬ 
cluded  to  make  him  a  call  and  satisfy  myself  whether  the 
complaints  made  to  the  Department  respecting  him  were  just 
or  otherwise,  adding  that  in  many  of  these  cases  similar  com¬ 
plaints  had  their  origin  in  personal  disagreements,  or  busi¬ 
ness  rivalry. 

u  I  am  delighted  to  see  you,”  he  replied.  u  I  am  gratified 
that  the  Department  has  at  last  authorized  some  one  who  is 
impartial,  to  look  into  its  matters  here,  and  if  I  can  have  a  day 
with  you,  I  will  convince  you  by  the  testimony  of  the  best  men 
of  all  parties,  that  the  stories  detrimental  to  me  are  the  inven¬ 
tion  of  enemies,  who  seem  determined  to  put  me  down  if  pos¬ 
sible.  But  they  haven’t  succeeded  yet,  and  what’s  more,  they 
can’t  succeed.  Things  have  come  to  a  pretty  pass  when  a  man 
can’t  carry  on  a  more  flourishing  business  than  his  neighbors, 
without  being  set  upon  and  slandered  out  of  his  life. 


SMOKING  ALLOWED. 


79 


(t  I  am  summoned  to-day  to  attend  court,  but  if  it  is  incon¬ 
venient  for  you  to  wait  till  my  return,  I  stall  run  the  risk  of 
being  in  time  to-morrow,  with  my  testimony,  as  this  business  is 
of  vital  importance  to  me  and  mine,  and  must  not  be  neglected, 
come  what  may/7 

“  It  is  very  important,77  I  replied,  u  and  my  advice  is  to 
risk  the  displeasure  of  the  Court,  and  ask  some  of  your  friends 
to  explain  your  non-appearance.77 

He  concluded  to  follow  my  recommendation,  and  we  walked 
over  to  the  post-office,  and  retired  within  its  sanctum,  where 
we  remained  some  time,  combining  pleasure  with  business,  by 
inhaling  the  vapor  of  as  good  cigars  as  the  mercantile  depart¬ 
ment  could  furnish,  while  examining  the  post-office  books,  and 
the  post  master’s  general  arrangements,  and  discussing  various 
matters  relative  thereto. 

My  chief  object  was,  if  possible,  to  get  a  sight  of  the  con¬ 
tents  of  the  boxes  where  the  two  “  decoys77  should  be  if  they 
had  been  mistaken  for  local  letters,  and  placed  in  the  “  general 
delivery.77  The  one  enclosing  the  bank-notes  and  specie  would 
come  under  the  initial  B.,  and  this  box  contained  quite  a  num¬ 
ber  of  letters  which  I  thought  it  unsafe  to  examine  particularly. 
While  I  was  endeavoring  to  devise  some  plausible  mode  of 
getting  a  satisfactory  view  of  them,  some  one  fortunately  entered 
the  store  and  inquired  if  there  were  any  letters  for  John  Bar- 
stow.  All  the  B7s  were  at  once  taken  down  by  the  post  master, 
thus  giving  me  exactly  the  opportunity  I  wanted  of  observing 
each  letter,  as  he  was  running  them  over.  The  last  one  was 
reached,  but  the  mis-sent  document  did  not  appear;  so  one 
important  requisite  for  proving  his  innocence  seemed  entirely 
cut  off. 

Soon  after,  we  started  out  to  call  on  some  of  the  u  first 
citizens,77  as  he  termed  them,  but  I  readily  discovered  that  the 
select  few  to  whom  I  was  being  introduced,  although  evidently 
sincere  in  the  opinions  they  expressed,  were  a  little  biassed  in 
his  favor  by  one  motive  and  another ;  and  that  they  were  quite 
as  likely  to  be  deceived  as  those  whose  interests,  perhaps, 


80 


“dead  head”  clients. 

fully  as  much  as  their  regard  for  a  faithful  administration  of 
the  post-office,  had  led  them  to  scrutinize  more  closely  the 
conduct  and  principles  of  our  injured  friend. 

Among  those  of  his  hackers  on  whom  we  called,  was  a 
lawyer  of  some  note  in  that  region,  who  had  recently  received 
a  nomination  for  Congress  from  one  of  the  leading  political 
parties.  On  our  way  to  this  gentleman’s  office,  the  post  master, 
•as  my  readers  will  easily  suppose,  took  care  to  inform  me 
thoroughly  respecting  these  important  particulars.  Squire  W. 
was  evidently  a  tower  of  strength  to  him,  and  he  spared  no 
pains  to  impress  upon  me  the  great  truth,  that  whomsoever  the 
Squire  thought  fit  to  endorse,  possessed  irrefragable  evidence 
of  an  immaculate  character.  We  fortunately  found  the 
would-be  future  M.  C.  in  his  office,  no  other  person  being 
present  than  a  law  student,  also  a  warm  friend  to  my  compan¬ 
ion,  who  quickly  withdrew,  owing  probably  to  some  silent 
intimation  from  one  or  the  other  of  the  gentlemen  present, 
that  his  room  was,  for  the  time  being,  better  than  his  company. 

This  was  not,  by  the  way,  the  post  master’s  first  visit  here 
to-day,  for  he  had  stopped  in  as  we  were  passing  in  the  morn¬ 
ing,  leaving  me  a  moment  for  that  purpose,  on  which  occasion 
he  doubtless  suggested  our  visit,  and  the  importance  to  him 
of  a  pretty  strong  backing. 

He  appeared  immensely  delighted  to  think  that  he  had 
been  able  to  bring  me,  a  “green”  Agent,  upon  whom  his 
character  with  the  Department  depended,  into  contact  with 
one  whose  assurances  were  to  dispel  all  the  clouds  that  lowered 
about  his  head,  and  reveal  him  to  the  community  with  the 
double  effulgence  of  injured  innocence  and  undimmed  integ¬ 
rity.  This  pleasing  prospect  seemed  to  beget  an  exuberance 
of  spirits  which  rather  astonished  his  friend,  the  Squire,  as  I 
judged  by  the  occasional  expression  of  his  countenance. 

“Now,  Squire,”  said  the  post  master,  slapping  him  gently 
on  the  back  in  a  persuasive  manner,  “  I  want  you  to  tell  this 
gentleman  just  what  you  think  about  the  opposition  made  to 
me  in  this  village.  You  know  we  have  always  been  opposed 


SCENE  IN  A  LAW  OFFICE. 


81 


in  politics,  and  of  course  you  are  entirely  disinterested  in  the 
matter.  All  you  want  is  to  have  the  office  here  well  managed. 
You  have  heard  all  about  the  charges  that  some  of  my  rascally 
enemies  have  made  against  me,  and  I  believe  I  told  you  the 
other  day,  that  they  had  sent  complaints  on  to  Washington. 
We’ll  see  how  their  slanders  turn  out  when  the  Agent  here 
gets  through  with  investigating  the  matter.  All  I  want  is  the 
truth.” 

“  Yes,  yes,  I  see,”  said  the  Squire,  clearing  for  action,  by 
putting  an  extra  stick  into  the  stove,  and  materially  lessening 
the  contents  of  a  good-sized  snuff-box  that  stood  upon  the 
table.  u  It’s  just  as  my  friend  B.  says,  Mr.  H - ,”  con¬ 

tinued  he;  “  we’ve  always  belonged  to  different  parties  in 
politics,  and  are  connected  with  different  religious  societies, — 
in  fact,  we  don’t  seem  to  agree  on  anything  of  that  sort.  But 
I  never  mean  to  allow  such  things  to  affect  my  estimate  of  a 
man’s  character,  and  I  hope  I  shall  always  he  ready  to  do  any 
one  justice,  however  he  may  differ  from  me  in  opinion. 

u  The  case,  Sir,  stands  thus  :  Here  is  a  young  man  fortunate 
enough  to  be  possessed  of  more  industry  and  enterprise  than 
some  of  his  neighbors,  and  accordingly  succeeds  in  business 
better  than  they  do.  Their  envy  is  excited,  he  incurs  their 
ill-will,  and  they  attempt  by  slander  to  ruin  his  character.  I 
don’t  think  any  of  them  would  lose  by  exchanging  characters 
with  him.  No,  Sir,”  (fortifying  his  position  with  another 
pinch  of  snuff,)  u  all  these  charges  are  utterly  without  founda¬ 
tion,  save  in  the  brains  of  those  who  produced  them, — a  narrow 
foundation  enough,  in  all  conscience,  for  anything. 

u  I  have,  perhaps,  as  great  an  interest  in  the  proper  manage¬ 
ment  of  the  post-office  here  as  any  one,  as  I  receive  and  send 
through  it  probably  more  important  correspondence  than  any 
other  man  in  town ;  but  I  have  never  had  cause  to  complain, 
and,  so  far  as  I  know,  everything  has  gone  right.” 

Here  a  moment’s  pause  followed,  which  the  lawyer  improved 
by  replenishing  the  stove  and  his  facial  promontory.  The 
post  master  cleared  his  throat,  gave  the  Squire  an  approving 


82 


A  FALSE  CHARGE. 


nod,  and  rocked  back  and  forth  upon  the  hind  legs  of  his 
chair,  picking  his  teeth  in  a  nonchalant  way,  apparently  much 
at  his  ease. 

“  By  the  way,  Squire  W.,”  he  broke  out,  rather  suddenly, 
‘  perhaps  the  gentleman  would  like  to  hear  about  that  letter 
that  Marshall  mailed  here  to  go  to  New  Haven,  Ct.,  and  which 
was  misdirected  to  New  Haven,  Vt.” 

I  replied,  that  I  should  be  happy  to  hear  any  statements 
that  would  throw  light  on  the  subject  in  hand. 

“Well,”  said  the  Squire,  “ there  was  a  great  handle  made 
of  that  affair.  You  see,  this  Marshall  is  a  careless,  absent- 
minded  genius,  and  he  wrote  a  letter,  into  which  he  put  fifty 
dollars  for  his  old  mother  in  Connecticut,  and  it  didn’t  get 
there.  Well,  he  came  and  consulted  me  about  it,  and  wanted 
me  to  sue  B.  here,  for  the  money. 

u  ‘  Why,  Mr.  W./  said  he,  1  I’m  confident  that  B.  has  got 
it.  People  say  he  can’t  be  trusted,  and  I  believe  it  now.’ 

II  ‘  But  see  here,  Marshall,’  replied  I,  1  there  are  twenty 
offices  or  more  between  this  place  and  the  one  where  you  sent 
your  letter ;  and  it  is,  to  say  the  least,  quite  as  likely  to  have 
been  purloined  anywhere  else  as  here.  You  had  better  wait  a 
few  days,  and  I  will  make  inquiries,  and  do  what  I  can  to  find 
out  whether  B.  knows  anything  about  it.  If  it  should  appear 
at  all  probable  that  he  does,  I  can  assure  you  that  I  will  not 
hesitate  to  sue  him.’ 

u  So  I  put  off  matters  for  a  little  while,  and  before  Marshall 
got  very  urgent  again,  the  lost  letter  turned  up  in  the  New 
Haven,  Vt.,  post-office;  no  one  being  to  blame  but  the  very 
man  who  had  made  all  the  fuss  !  The  enemies  of  our  friend 
here,  who  had  all  the  time  been  chuckling  to  think  they  had 
him  on  the  hip,  felt  flat  enough,  I  assure  you,  when  the  letter 
came  to  light,  for  they  would  rather  have  paid  over  the  fifty 
dollars  themselves,  than  to  have  lost  this  chance  of  confirming 
their  accusations  against  him.” 

This  turn  in  the  conversation  gave  me  an  excellent  oppor- 


IMPORTANT  ADMISSION. 


8S 


tunity  of  trying  the  nerves,  or  the  innocence  of  the  post  master, 
without  exciting  his  suspicions  in  the  least ;  so  I  remarked, 

u  The  New  Haven,  Vermont,  post  master  must  have  been  an 
honest  man,  or  this  money  letter  might  never  have  been  seen 
again ;  as  no  one  would  have  thought  of  looking  there  for  it, 
and  if  they  had,  it  wouldn’t  have  been  very  easy  to  prove  that 
it  ever  went  there.” 

Here  I  glanced  at  B.,  but  his  countenance  betrayed  no  con¬ 
sciousness  that  my  observation  was  designed  to  hit  him,  and 
with  an  aspect  of  unruffled  coolness,  he  proceeded  to  say, 

“That  New  Haven  case  reminds  me  of  something  very  similar, 
which  happened  in  this  office  only  a  day  or  two  ago.  A  pack¬ 
age  of  letters  came  here  from  Boston,  which  were  intended 
for  a  town  in  New  York.  By  the  way,  Mr.  Agent,  I  wish  the 
next  time  you  are  in  the  Rutland  office  you  would  request  the 
mailing  clerks  to  be  a  little  more  particular  in  addressing  their 
wrappers,  as  our  packages,  both  of  letters  and  papers,  fre¬ 
quently  go  astray,  while  those  for  other  offices  sometimes  come 
here.  Surrounded,  as  I  am,  by  so  many  prying  and  fault¬ 
finding  people,  failures  caused  in  this  way  are  likely  to  bo 
seized  upon  to  make  me  trouble.” 

I  replied,  that  I  would  try  to  bear  his  request  in  mind, 
being  all  the  time  well  satisfied  that  it  was  a  device  adopted 
to  turn  attention  from  the  mis-sent  package,  to  which  he  had 
unguardedly  referred,  and  to  prevent  further  allusion  to  it, 
which  might  awaken  suspicion,  and  even  betray  guilt.  He 
was  indeed  treading  on  dangerous  ground.  His  voluntary 
admission,  that  a  package  similar  to  my  decoy  package  had 
been  in  his  hands,  and  that  he  had  noticed  the  name  of  the 
place  to  which  the  letters  were  directed,  was  all  that  was 
wanting  to  confirm  my  belief  that  they  had  been  purloined, 
since  I  already  knew  that  they  had  not  been  forwarded  from 
his  office. 

After  our  worthy  legal  friend  had  exhausted  every  illustra¬ 
tion,  and  brought  to  view  every  fact  at  his  command,  corrobo¬ 
rating  his  very  high  estimate  of  the  post  master’s  character, 


84 


EMPLOYING  THE  WIRES. 


both  personal  and  official,  and  had  given  the  u  enemies”  the 
extremely  low  and  degraded  position  which  they,  as  maligners 
of  spotless  worth,  and  conspirators  against  tried  honesty,  ought 
justly  to  assume, — in  short,  after  he  had  said,  if  not  done,  all 
that  even  the  object  of  his  advocacy  could  have  desired,  I 
proposed  an  adjournment  for  dinner,  more  for  the  sake  of  se¬ 
curing  in  that  way  an  opportunity  of  telegraphing  for  the 
United  States  Marshal,  than  for  administering  to  the  wants  of 
the  inner  man.  The  victim  of  calumny  and  myself  separated 
at  the  door  of  the  Squire’s  office,  agreeing  to  meet  again  soon 
after  dinner;  and  while  he  was  dispatching  his  meal,  I  was 
dispatching  a  telegraphic  message,  which  ran  thus  : — 

“ - ,  Esq.,  U.  S.  Marshal: 

“  Come  here  by  first  train.  I  will  join  you  at  the  depot,  and  explain 
business.” 

Just  as  I  had  left  the  telegraph  office,  I  was  addressed  in  a 
very  private  and  mysterious  manner  by  a  substantial-looking 
citizen,  whom  I  had  before  observed  eyeing  me  very  closely. 
He  wished  to  know  whether  I  was  the  United  States  Mail 
Agent. 

I  informed  him  that  such  was  the  title  of  my  office. 

u  Then  I  want  an  opportunity  for  some  conversation  with 
you  about  this  business  of  the  post  office.  I  suppose  you  are 
here  to  examine  into  this  affair,  and  are  willing  to  hear  both 
sides.  There  are  some  things  in  connection  with  the  matter, 
which  I  think  you  ought  to  know.” 

“I  was  just  going  to  the  hotel  for  my  dinner,”  said  I. 
u  Government  officers  must  eat,  you  know,  as  well  as  other 
people,  and  for  a  while  after  dinner  I  shall  be  engaged ;  but 
if  what  you  have  to  communicate  is  of  importance,  I  will  en¬ 
deavor  to  confer  with  you  before  I  leave  town.” 

“  I  hope  you  will ;  and  allow  me  one  word  now.  I  under¬ 
stand  that  you  have  been  closeted  with  Squire  W.,  and  I  want 
you  to  know  something  about  his  position  in  this  matter. 
Everybody  allows  him  to  be  an  honest  and  a  sincere  man,  but 


SMOKED  OUT. 


85 


the  fact  is,  he  has  been  very  active  in  effecting  the  removal 
of  the  site  of  the  post-office  from  the  other  side  of  the  river  to 
its  present  location,  and  could  hardly  be  called  a  disinterested 
witness  in  such  an  investigation  as  you  no  doubt  intend  to  give 
the  subject/7 

How  far  this  dig  at  the  Squire  was  just,  I  could  not  then 
certainly  know ;  but  a  glance  at  his  law  dispensary  and  the 
post-office,  distant  from  each  other  only  a  few  rods,  both  being 
a  good  quarter  of  a  mile  from  the  old  post-office  site,  gave  some 
plausibility  to  the  intimation  that  the  Squire’s  interest  and 
love  for  justice,  happened  in  this  instance,  to  run  in  the  same 
direction. 

My  presence  in  the  village  had  become  pretty  generally 
known,  as  appeared  by  various  unmistakable  indications,  par¬ 
ticularly  some  not  very  flattering  remarks  which  I  overheard 
at  the  dinner-table,  such  as  u  a  one-sided  affair/7  u  consulting 
interested  persons,77  “  don’t  know  how  he  expects  to  find  out 
the  truth,77  and  the  like ;  all  of  which  I  pretended  neither  to 
hear  nor  to  notice.  It  was  very  evident  that  our  man  of  letters 
hadn’t  many  friends  in  that  house,  for  those  of  its  inmates  and 
frequenters  who  were  not  in  some  way  influenced  by  rival 
interests,  were  no  doubt  more  or  less  disaffected  by  the  removal 
of  the  post  office  from  that  immediate  neighborhood. 

As  I  was  one  of  the  last  to  leave  the  table,  the  usual  cloud 
of  tobacco  smoke  had  taken  possession  of  the  bar-room,  and 
was  enveloping  its  occupants  in  an  atmosphere 

“Darkly,  deeply,  beautifully  biue,” 

when  I  entered  the  apartment  devoted  to  the  production  of 
this  mollifying  vapor.  The  narcotic  herb  seemed  to  have  lost 
its  ordinary  soothing  power,  for  the  company  then  and  there 
present  bestowed  upon  me  glances  cool  and  scrutinizing 
enough  to  dispel  effectually  any  inclination  I  might  have  had 
for  indulging  a  short  time  in  the  delights  of  social  intercourse. 
So  I  seized  my  overcoat,  and  passed  out ;  and  this  movement 
8 


86 


A  SAUCY  LANDLORD. 


was  the  signal  for  a  spasmodic  giggle  by  the  entire  assemblage, 
in  which  the  landlord  joined,  as  I  supposed,  for  I  distinctly- 
recognised  his  grum  voice  just  as  I  closed  the  door,  uttering,  in 
a  contemptuous  tone,  the  following  remark,  u  I  guess  the  Agent 
don’t  like  tobacco  smoke  !” 

I  was  little  disturbed,  however,  by  these  and  sundry  other 
indications  that  I  was  not  establishing  a  reputation  for  impar¬ 
tiality  and  shrewdness  with  a  majority  of  the  citizens.  If  I 
were  to  listen  to  all  they  might  be  ready  to  tell  me,  I  should 
be  spending  valuable  time  to  no  sort  of  purpose,  for  the  proofs 
of  the  post  master’s  delinquency  which  I  had  thus  far  obtained 
were  derived,  not  from  them,  but  from  himself,  and  it  was 
in  that  direction  only  that  I  could  reasonably  expect  to 
obtain  conclusive  evidence  of  his  guilt,  for  all  the  accusations 
which  his  enemies  had  sent  to  the  Department  had  been  sup¬ 
ported  by  nothing  better  than  the  opinions  of  those  who  made 
them. 

If  I  failed  in  securing  what  I  expected  from  the  course  I 
was  pursuing,  it  would  then  be  time  to  see  what  other  proof 
could  be  procured  from  different  quarters ;  and  until  the  result 
of  my  investigations  should  be  known,  I  was  content  to  rest 
under  the  cloud  of  misapprehension  which  appeared  to  be 
gathering  about  me,  knowing  that  thus  I  could  best  serve  the 
interests  of  justice,  and  that  time  would  set  me  right  with 
those  who  were  now  disposed  to  look  on  me  as  one  whose  mind 
had  been  preoccupied  by  the  artful  tales  of  the  post  master 
and  his  friends. 

I  must  confess  that  I  was  somewhat  amused  to  think  what 
a  complete  metamorphosis  my  character  would  undergo  in  the 
eyes  of  almost  every  member  of  this  little  community,  when 
the  truth  should  come  to  light.  I  had  sufficient  confidence  in 
the  uprightness  and  candor  of  the  Squire,  to  believe  that  he 
would  readily  acquit  me  of  trifling,  in  the  course  I  had  pur¬ 
sued  with  him,  and  that  he  would  acquiesce  in  the  adoption 
of  whatever  measures  the  public  interest  might  seem  to  have 


THE  SUPPOSED  TRIUMPH. 


87 


required.  Nor  was  I  in  this  instance  the  victim  of  misplaced 
confidence,  as  will  hereafter  appear. 

The  post  master  and  myself  soon  met  again  at  the  post-office, 
when  cigars  for  two  were  produced,  and  as  we  sat  smoking 
them,  I  could  not  avoid  a  feeling  of  melancholy,  at  seeing  him 
apparently  so  cheerful  and  happy,  and  sincerely  regretted  the 
necessity  that  compelled  me  to  persist  sternly  in  a  course  which 
would  assuredly  end  in  the  blight  of  his  hopes  and  the  ruin 
of  his  character. 

He  was  evidently  certain  of  having  fully  established  his 
innocence,  and  of  having  inspired  me  with  some  of  the  con¬ 
tempt  for  his  persecutors  which  he  felt  himself.  “We  have 
met  the  enemy,  and  they  are  ours,”  seemed  to  be  the  language 
of  his  looks  and  actions,  if  not  of  his  lips.  The  sky  over  his 
head  appeared  bright ;  the  clouds,  to  his  eyes,  had  dispersed  ; 
and  he  dreamed  not  that  the  roar  of  the  next  railroad  train 
would  be  to  him  like  the  peal  of  thunder  which  accompanies 
the  lightning’s  quick  and  deadly  bolt.  Yet  I  consoled  myself 
with  the  reflection  that  my  motives  were  such  as  should  actuate 
every  public  officer  in  the  discharge  of  his  duty,  and  that  I 
was  not  responsible  for  the  consequences  which  might  follow 
the  carrying  out  of  plans  judiciously  devised  for  this  end, — an 
end  which,  in  an  important  case  like  this,  fully  justified  the 
means. 

This  train  of  thought  was  interrupted  by  the  post  master, 
who  rather  abruptly  asked, 

“Well,  Mr.  H.,  I  suppose  you  have  satisfied  yourself  about 
this  affair;  and,  if  it  isn’t  asking  too  much,  I  should  be  glad 
to  know  what  sort  of  report  you  are  going  to  make  to  the 
Department  ?” 

I  was  unprepared  for  this,  and  I  confess  I  was  for  a  moment 
nonplussed.  But  I  evaded  a  direct  answer,  by  relating  what 
I  had  heard  and  seen  at  the  hotel,  and  how  displeased  they  all 
were  with  me  for  not  giving  them  a  chance  to  be  heard  in  the 
course  of  my  investigation.  And  wishing  to  divert  his  mind 
still  further  from  the  troublesome  point  on  which  he  had 


ARRIVAL  OP  THE  MARSHAL. 


88 

touched,  I  ventured  upon  a  few  remarks  about  tbe  painful  and 
often  disagreeable  duties  of  a  Special  Agent,  introducing,  by 
way  of  embellishment,  an  anecdote  of  Post  Master  General 
Collamer. 

In  the  course  of  a  conversation  between  that  officer  and  one 
of  the  western  Special  Agents,  the  matter  of  an  increase  of 
salary,  among  other  things,  was  briefly  discussed.  Says  the 
Agent, 

“  You  know,  Sir,  that  many  times  we  are  called  upon  to  do 
things  which  can  hardly  be  made  to  square  with  the  code  of 
honor ;  and  in  fact,  we  sometimes  have  to  resort  to  downright 
duplicity  and  deception.” 

“  Well,  well,”  replied  Judge  Collamer,  “I  suppose  you  find 
yourself  perfectly  at  home  at  that !” 

This  diversion  answered  the  purpose,  and  nothing  further 
was  said  about  my  intended  report.  Just  as  I  had  fairly  ex¬ 
tricated  myself  from  this  ticklish  position,  a  messenger  from 
the  telegraph-office  appeared,  with  a  reply  from  the  Marshal  to 
my  dispatch,  which  response  I  managed  to  read  without  the 
least  suspicion  of  its  nature  on  the  part  of  the  individual  who 
had  such  a  momentous  interest  therein. 

The  contents  of  the  dispatch  were  simply,  “I  will  leave  by 
first  train.” 

After  having  been  introduced  to  a  number  of  other  swift 
witnesses  for  our  friend,  who  happened  in  at  the  post-office, 
and  holding  some  conversation  with  them  on  the  all-absorbing 
tteme,  the  iron  horse’s  shrill  neigh  announced  the  approach 
of  the  train  by  which  the  Marshal  was  to  arrive ;  and  without 
much  ceremony  I  took  my  leave,  to  meet  him  at  the  depot, 
promising  to  return  again.  He  was  the  first  man  to  alight  on 
the  platform,  and  was  soon  made  acquainted  with  the  business 
in  hand.  We  thought  it  best  that  he  should  go  directly  to 
my  room  at  the  hotel,  where  I  was  presently  to  join  him,  in 
company  with  the  post  master ;  and  ten  minutes  more  found  us 
there,  sitting  around  as  pleasant  a  fire  as  ever  irradiated  and 
comforted  with  its  genial  warmth,  such  a  trio  of  officials.  I 


THE  CRISIS. 


89 


had  introduced  the  Marshal  by  his  proper  name  and  title,  yet 
the  announcement  produced  no  visible  effect  upon  the  unsus¬ 
pecting  post  master.  He  seemed  as  cool  and  unembarrassed 
as  if  he  had  been  in  the  habit  of  forming  the  acquaintance 
of  United  States  officers  every  day.  This  rather  astonished 
me,  as  it  did  the  Marshal,  and  he  (the  Marshal)  favored  me 
with  a  glance  and  a  slight  motion  of  the  head,  which  intimated 
that,  in  his  opinion,  I  had  mistaken  my  man. 

I  had  set  it  down  as  a  fixed  fact,  that  the  appearance  and 
introduction  of  the  Marshal  in  his  own  character,  would  at 
once  excite  the  apprehensions  of  the  post  master,  and  lead  to 
inquiries  from  him  which  would  render  it  comparatively  easy 
for  me  to  enter  upon  that  decisive  course  of  questioning  and 
examination  which  the  present  advanced  state  of  the  affair 
required.  But  all  my  calculations  were  frustrated  by  this 
unexpected  move  on  the  part  of  my  antagonist,  and  I  was  left 
in  statu  quo,  so  far  as  regarded  any  help  I  had  hoped  for  from 
him.  In  this  condition  of  things,  all  that  remained  for  me 
was  to  make  a  bold  push  at  once,  and  break  the  ice  as  speedily 
as  possible.  So,  turning  to  the  post  master,  I  thus  addressed 
him : 

“Were  you,  Mr.  B.,  at  home,  last  Monday  evening,  when 
the  Boston  mail  arrived?” 

“  I  was,”  replied  he,  after  some  hesitation. 

“Did  you  open  and  assort  the  mail  yourself  on  that  occa¬ 
sion  ?” 

“  I  did.” 

“And  did  you  find  a  package  of  two  letters,  mailed  at 
Boston,  and  addressed  to  House’s  Point?” 

Here,  for  the  first  time,  a  change  came  over  his  counte¬ 
nance;  and,  after  a  moment’s  reflection,  he  answered  very 
firmly,  that  he  did  not  recollect  any  such  package. 

“  One  of  the  letters,”  continued  I,  “  contained  twenty-five 
dollars  in  bills,  and  fifty  cents  in  specie,  and  the  other  contained 
no  money,  and  was  addressed  to  a  lady.” 

8  * 


90 


THE  ACCUSATION. 


He  listened  attentively,  and  repeated  that  he  did  not  see 
any  such  letters  as  those  I  had  described. 

“Well,  Sir,”  I  observed,  “we  must  now  trouble  you  to 
show  us  the  money  you  have  about  you.” 

He  readily  complied  with  this  requisition,  by  handing  me 
his  pocket-book.  It  was  well  filled,  but  among  a  tolerably  large 
roll  of  bank-notes,  none  of  those  included  in  the  decoy  letter 
appeared.  His  knowledge  of  the  absence  of  these  important 
witnesses  against  him,  easily  accounted  for  his  promptness  in 
submitting  to  the  examination,  and  as  he  received  the  wallet 
from  me  again,  and  returned  it  to  his  pocket,  his  air  of  as¬ 
surance,  which  for  the  moment  had  been  dimmed,  reappeared 
in  all  its  native  lustre,  and  with  an  assumed  expression  of 
wounded  pride,  he  requested  to  know  if  he  was  to  understand 
that  I  suspected  him  of  interfering  improperly  with  the  letters 
I  had  been  inquiring  about.  To  this  I  answered, 

“  Yes,  Sir ;  you  are  so  to  understand  me ;  and  further,  that 
I  believe  you  have  robbed  and  destroyed  those  letters !” 

The  Marshal  was  looking  on  all  this  while,  evidently  some¬ 
what  incredulous  as  to  the  justice  of  my  accusations,  for  he 
had  long  known  by  reputation  the  young  man  against  whom 
they  were  made,  being  an  acquaintance  of  the  family,  and 
always  supposed  him  to  be  an  enterprising,  honest  person. 
Indeed,  he  told  me  afterwards,  that  he  really  thought,  to  use 
his  own  expression,  that  I  “  had  put  my  foot  in  it.”  In  fact, 
I  began  to  think  myself,  that  however  certain  B/s  guilt  might 
be,  it  was  likely  to  prove  more  difficult  than  I  had  supposed, 
to  establish  the  fact  legally. 

One  thing,  however,  remained, — to  examine  a  quantity  of 
specie,  which  I  knew  he  had  in  his  pocket,  as  he  had  fre¬ 
quently  exhibited  it  during  the  day  in  the  way  of  making 
change  at  his  office.  This  also,  amounting  to  some  six  or 
eight  dollars,  was  promptly  produced  at  my  request,  and  laid 
on  the  table. 

“Now,”  thought  I,  “the  last  card  is  dealt;  let  us  see 
whether  it  will  turn  up  a  trump.” 


THE  FATAL  “  QUARTER.” 


9J 


The  evil  spirit,  which  so  enticingly  leads  people  into  scrapes, 
and  is  so  reluctant  to  get  them  out  again,  true  to  its  fatal 
instincts,  had  safely  preserved  the  evidence  of  guilt  in  the 
present  case.  A  moment’s  inspection  of  the  different  coins, 
brought  to  light  one  of  the  identical  pieces  which  had  been 
placed  in  the  missing  letter !  It  was  thus  described  in  the 
original  memorandum  to  which  I  referred:  “ American  quar¬ 
ter — dot  over  left  wing  of  eagle;  slightly  filed  on  lower  edge 
under  date,  1850.” 

“Here  is  one  of  the  quarters,”  said  I,  holding  it  up,  “that 
was  in  the  Rouse’s  Point  letter, — marked  and  described  in  my 
memorandum,  so  that  I  could  swear  to  it  anywhere.” 

“Well,  Mr.  H.,”  said  the  post  master,  “I  suppose  this 
circumstance  appears  to  you  very  strongly  against  me,  and 
perhaps  it  is.  But  I  should  like  a  few  moments’  private  con¬ 
versation  with  you,  if  you  have  no  objection.” 

Agreeably  to  this  hint,  the  Marshal  retired ;  but  the  post 
master  remained  silent  for  a  while,  resting  his  chin  on  his 
hand,  and  gazing  into  the  fire  with  a  countenance  overshadowed 
by  dejection  and  discouragement.  The  gloom  on  his  features 
grew  deeper  and  deeper,  but  at  last  he  roused  himself,  and 
looked  me  full  in  the  face,  saying,  in  almost  despairing  tones, 

“  Can  anything  be  done  to  save  me?  Oh,  Mr.  H.,  for 
heaven’s  sake,  put  yourself  in  my  place  for  a  moment !  Think 
what  it  is  to  fight  as  I  have  fought  for  years,  to  defend  my 
reputation  against  enemies  who  wanted  to  pull  me  down,  and 
build  themselves  up  on  my  ruins ;  and  after  holding  my  ground 
so  long,  to  be  blown  to  pieces,  as  it  were  in  an  instant !  How 
they’ll  all  exult !  There’s  old  P. ;  I  can  see  just  how  he’ll 
look,  shaking  his  old  fox  head.  ‘Ah,  I  knew  something  was 
rotten  all  the  time  !’ 

“  What  can  you  do  to  get  me  out  of  this  trouble  ?  I  can’t 
have  it  so ;  I  must  have  something  done  to  save  me  from  be¬ 
coming  the  laughing-stock  of  my  enemies.” 

“  But,”  said  I,  “  your  enemies,  as  you  call  them,  could  have 


92 


SERVING  THE  PROCESS. 


done  you  no  harm,  if  you  had  not  supplied  them  with  weapons 
yourself.” 

“  That  may  he,”  replied  he,  mournfully,  “  but  I  assure  you 
that  this  is  my  first  offence.  I  had  never  dreamed  of  meddling 
with  letters  till  this  Rouse’s  Point  package  came  in  my  way; 
but  it  didn’t  seem  as  if  it  could  ever  be  discovered,  so  the 
temptation  was  too  much  for  me.” 

(It  is  a  curious  fact,  by  the  way,  that  almost  all  the  cases 
of  post  office  robbery  we  meet  with  are  u  first  offences even 
those  whose  boldness  indicates  some  little  previous  experience 
in  such  things.) 

u  What,”  inquired  I,  11  did  you  do  with  the  bills  that  were 
in  the  letter  ?” 

“I  sent  them  away,”  replied  he,  “  the  same  day  that  I  took 
them.  Now,  I’ve  told  you  frankly  all  about  the  affair,  and  I 
hope  you  will  contrive  some  way  to  save  me  from  disgrace  and 
ruin.  Couldn’t  tfie  business  stop  here,  if  I  refund  what  I 
have  taken,  and  resign  my  office  as  post  master  ?  I  should  be 
willing  to  do  more  than  that,  if  it  should  be  necessary.” 

I  assured  him  that  I  had  no  power  to  make  any  such 
arrangement,  and  that  I  must  leave  the  matter  with  the  Mar¬ 
shal,  who  I  supposed  would  be  under  the  necessity  of  serving 
the  process. 

Thus  speaking,  I  stepped  to  the  door,  and  called  that  gen¬ 
tleman  into  the  room,  who  proceeded  forthwith  to  read  the 
warrant  issued  against  B.  During  the  reading  of  that  instru¬ 
ment,  a  sudden  change  came  over  the  countenance  of  the 
unfortunate  post  master.  He  turned  pale,  and  would  have 
fallen,  had  I  not  prevented  him.  The  Marshal  and  I  assisted 
him  to  a  bed  that  stood  in  the  room,  where  he  lay  for  a  long 
time,  prostrate  in  body  and  mind. 

As  I  stood  over  him,  attempting  to  revive  him  by  the  use 
of  such  means  as  were  at  hand,  I  thought  how  great  must 
have  been  the  shock  which  had  so  overpowered  his  faculties. 
His  strength  of  body,  and  pride  of  soul,  were,  for  the  time, 
laid  low.  What  a  pity  that  he  had  not  possessed  the  right 


THE  WIFE. 


93 


kind  of  pride;  not  merely  tlie  ambition  to  rise  above  the 
machinations  of  bis  enemies,  and  put  them  under  bis  feet,  but 
tbe  pride  that  despises  a  mean  action,  and  dreads  a  crime  more 
than  its  consequences.  Such  a  feeling  would  have  been  a 
safeguard ;  but  I  was  sorry  to  observe  that,  while  he  was  con¬ 
fessing  his  guilt,  the  thought  of  his  enemies’  triumph  over 
him  was  uppermost  in  his  mind. 

He  had  now  somewhat  revived,  and  wishing  to  calm  his 
exasperated  feelings,  (which  I  supposed  were  in  some  measure 
the  cause  of  his  present  condition,)  by  turning  his  thoughts 
to  another  channel,  I  inquired  of  the  Marshal,  in  a  rather  low 
tone,  whether  he  had  any  family. 

“  He  has  a  wife,  I  believe,”  was  the  reply,  and  in  a  moment 
B.  was  saying  to  himself,  his  eyes  still  shut, 

u  Jane,  Jane,  what  will  you  think?  Don’t  despise  me,  if 
you  can  help  it.” 

He  went  on  for  some  little  time  in  this  strain,  displaying  a 
high  regard  for  his  wife’s  affection  and  good  opinion,  and  an 
apprehension  that  he  might  have  forfeited  them  by  his  mis¬ 
conduct  ;  an  apprehension  utterly  groundless — so  far,  at  least, 
as  regarded  affection,  for  the  undying  flame  of  love  in  a  true 
woman’s  heart  cannot  so  be  quenched. 

Mrs.  B.,  as  I  afterwards  learned,  was  a  most  estimable 
woman,  whose  influence  had  doubtless  been  of  great  benefit  to 
her  husband.  Alas !  that  the  power  of  his  good  angel  could 
not  have  triumphed  over  the  temptation  to  which  he  yielded  ! 

When  he  had  recovered  sufficiently  to  walk  about,  the  Mar¬ 
shal  took  him  in  charge,  and  conveyed  him  to  a  neighboring 
town,  where  the  United  States  District  Judge  resided,  for 
examination.  His  friends,  who  were  highly  respectable,  were 
informed  by  telegraph  of  his  arrest,  and  gave  the  required 
bail  for  his  appearance  at  trial. 

Thus  we  have  traced  out  an  important  part  of  the  career 
of  one  whose  character  was  laid  low,  not  by  his  enemies,  but 
by  his  own  hand.  And  whenever  I  pass  through  the  pleasant 
town  which  was  the  scene  of  these  transactions,  a  shade  of 


94 


SAD  REFLECTIONS. 


melancholy  comes  over  me,  entirely  at  variance  with  the  gene¬ 
ral  cheerful  appearance  both  of  the  place  and  the  surrounding 
landscape. 

On  one  of  the  last  occasions  that  I  was  in  that  vicinity,  the 
train  on  which  I  was  traveling  stopped  for  a  few  moments  at 
this  station.  It  was  a  delightful  summer's  day,  and  if  the 
objects  which  met  my  eye,  as  I  gazed  up  and  down  the  street, 
had  not  been,  many  of  them,  monuments  to  me  of  a  melan¬ 
choly  history,  I  should  have  thought  that  the  place  yielded  in 
beauty  to  few  of  the  villages  which  adorn  New  England.  But 
a  stranger  occupied  the  store  where  the  unfortunate  B.  main¬ 
tained  the  contest  with  his  rivals ;  the  post  office  was  in  other 
hands ;  and  I  was  just  turning  away  from  a  scene  that  sug¬ 
gested  nothing  but  unpleasant  reminiscences,  when  Squire  W. 
emerged  from  the  station-house,  and  cordially  addressed  me. 
This  was  the  first  time  I  had  seen  him,  since  our  memorable 
interview  in  his  office. 

“  Good  morning,  Mr.  H.,”  said  he;  “how  is  the  rogue- 
catching  business  now?  I  suppose  you  have  disposed  of  a 
good  many  since  you  despatched  B.  so  summarily.  When  I 
first  heard  of  his  arrest,  feeling  sure  of  his  innocence  as  I  did, 
I  don’t  know  that  I  should  have  been  much  surprised  if  you 
had  come  after  me  next;  and  I  felt  a  little  sore,  to  tell  you 
the  truth,  to  think  that  my  endorsement  of  him  had  so  little 
weight  with  you.  But  I  have  since  seen  that  you  were  per¬ 
fectly  right  about  it,  though  I  am  sorry  that  poor  B.  should 
have  turned  out  so  badly.” 

Here  the  iron  horse  began  to  manifest  indications  of  impa¬ 
tience,  and  shaking  hands  with  the  worthy  Squire,  we  went 
our  several  ways. 


CHAPTER  IV. 


High  Crimes  in  low  Places — Honest  Baggage-masters — Suspicious 
Circumstances — Watching  the  Suspected — Shunning  the  Dust — ■ 
Honesty  Triumphant — An  Episode — Unexpected  Confession — The 
Night  Clerks — Conformity  to  Circumstances — Pat  the  Porter — • 
Absents  himself — Physician  consulted — The  Dead  Child — Hunting 
Excursions — “No  Go” — Pat  explains  his  Absence — His  Dis¬ 
charge — The  Grave- stones — Stolen  Money  appears — The  Jolly 
Undertakers — Pat  at  the  Grave — More  Hunting — Firing  a  Salute — 
Removing  the  Deposits — Crossing  the  Ferry — Scene  at  the  Post 
Office — Trip  to  Brooklyn — Recovery  of  Money — Escape — Encounter 
with  a  Policeman — Searching  a  Steamer — Waking  the  wrong  Pas¬ 
senger — Accomplices  detained — Luxuries  cut  off — Fa*se  Imprison¬ 
ment  Suit — Michael  on  the  Stand — Case  dismissed. 

Public  confidence  in  tlie  United  States  Mail,  and  in  the 
integrity  of  those  connected  therewith,  never  perhaps  received 
a  severer  shock  than  that  which  it  suffered  from  the  extensive 
robberies  committed  in  the  Summer  and  Fall  of  1853,  by  Pat 
R.,  at  that  time  a  night  porter  in  the  New  York  Post  Office. 
The  range  of  his  ambition  was  by  no  means  commensurate  with 
his  humble  station  in  life  and  the  post  office,  and  his  menial 
occupation  did  not  repress  aspirations  which  could  render  him 
a  fit  rival  to  such  men  as  Swartwout  and  Schuyler,  both  by  the 
extent  of  his  schemes  of  villany,  and  the  success  with  which 
they  were  carried  on. 


96 


HIGH  CRIMES  IN  LOW  PLACES. 


He  was  no  petty  thief,  content  with  doing  a  email  but  com¬ 
paratively  safe  business  at  filching,  or  at  least,  satisfied  to  begin 
with  the  u  day  of  small  things but  he  had  hardly  taken  the 
oath  of  office  before  its  strength  was  tested,  and  it  proved  no 
greater  restraint  to  him  than  a  spider’s  thread  to  a  wild  buf¬ 
falo.  He  at  once  plunged  into  the  tempting  field  which  lay 
before  him,  and  grasped  with  a  greedy  clutch  at  every  oppor¬ 
tunity  to  enlarge  his  increasing  store  of  ill-gotten  wealth.  He 
would  sometimes  add  thousands  to  his  hoard  in  a  single  night, 
and  carried  on  these  bold  depredations  for  some  time  unsus¬ 
pected,  not  because  he  was  above  suspicion,  but  because  he  was 
below  it. 

In  other  words,  after  these  robberies  had  been  pretty  satis¬ 
factorily  traced  to  the  New  York  office,  it  was  necessary  to  es¬ 
tablish  the  innocence,  so  far  as  these  losses  were  concerned, 
of  a  large  number  of  clerks,  before  suspicion  fairly  rested  on 
the  guilty  party.  Thus,  when  the  investigation  was  com¬ 
menced,  he  was  buried  up,  so  to  speak,  beneath  so  many  pro¬ 
tecting  layers,  all  of  which  were  removed  before  he  came  to 
light.  I  will  not  attempt  to  give  any  idea  of  the  quantity  of 
labor  necessary  in  this  and  similar  preliminary  investigations. 

Some  of  the  numerous  complaints  made  to  the  Department 
and  the  post  master  of  New  York,  involved  large  sums  of 
money.  Among  them  was  a  package  of  $2000  in  bank-notes, 
mailed  at  Middletown,  Conn.,  for  Philadelphia,  Penn.  An¬ 
other  of  $1800  from  Bridgeport,  Conn.,  to  Zanesville,  Ohio. 
Still  another  of  $1400  from  Joliet,  Ill.,  to  New  York,  and 
many  other  smaller  sums,  from  $50  to  $1000;  also  drafts, 
notes,  checks,  &c.,  to  an  enormous  amount  in  the  aggregate. 
None  of  these  valuable  remittances  had  been  seen  by  any  per¬ 
sons  properly  interested  in  them,  after  they  had  passed  out  of 
the  hands  of  the  senders. 

Doubtless  to  those  unacquainted  with  such  matters,  it  may 
not  prove  much  for  the  efficiency  of  the  Special  Agent  to  state 
that  the  thefts  were  occasionally  repeated  even  after  he  had 
entered  upon  this  investigation.  But  the  Agent  employed  in 


HONEST  BAGGAGE-MASTERS. 


97 


this  instance  always  preferred  to  catch  the  rogue,  rather  than 
frighten  him,  thereby  leaving  innocent  parties  under  the  ban 
of  suspicion,  as  well  as  destroying  all  chances  for  the  recovery 
of  the  property  already  stolen.  And  the  benefits  and  pro¬ 
priety  of  that  course  were  fully  realized  in  the  result  of  the 
important  case  under  consideration. 

As  “it  is  the  last  straw  which  breaks  the  camel’s  back,”  so 
it  is  often  the  stealing  of  the  last  letter  which  aids  in  bringing 
to  light  the  depredator  of  former  ones. 

I  propose  here  to  relate  some  details,  which  may  be  inter¬ 
esting,  of  the  means  taken  to  “narrow  down”  and  trace  out 
those  extensive  robberies,  not  so  much  on  account  of  anything 
novel  or  original,  adopted  at  this  or  any  other  stage  of  the 
investigation,  as  to  demonstrate  the  value  of  a  character  that 
is  proof  against  trying  temptation ;  and  the  dangerous  position 
of  those  who  are  not  at  all  times  thus  fortified,  although  they 
may  be  innocent  of  the  particular  offences  charged. 

With  but  few  exceptions,  the  mails  in  which  the  missing 
letters  and  money  packages  should  have  been  conveyed  to  New 
York,  would  have  come  from  the  East  by  the  express  night 
trains,  over  the  Boston  and  New  York  Bailroad.  Upon  those 
trains,  the  mails  were  in  charge  of  the  baggage-masters,  the 
regular  mail  or  “  route  agents”  being  confined  to  the  way 
mail-trains  running  at  different  hours  of  the  day.  A  variety 
of  circumstances,  besides  their  good  reputation,  conspired  to 
avert  suspicion  from  these  baggage-men.  The  mails  were  in 
“  through  bags,”  and  it  required  a  mail-key  to  obtain  access  to 
their  contents ;  and  besides,  the  robberies  could  not  well  be 
perpetrated  in  that  way  without  collusion  between  several  per¬ 
sons, — the  express  agents,  and  the  conductors,  all  reliable  men, 
having  occasion  often  to  visit  the  baggage  car,  which  was 
always  well  lighted. 

Accompanying  the  night  express  trains  there  were  also 
“  through  baggage-masters,”  so  called.  Their  duty  was  per¬ 
formed  by  two  persons,  one  of  whom  left  Boston  and  the  other 
New  York  on  each  evening. 

9 


98 


SUSPICIOUS  CIRCUMSTANCES. 


On  privately  consulting  tlie  officers  of  the  railroad  company 
as  to  the  running  of  these  men,  it  appeared  that  about  all  the 
losses  had  happened  on  the  nights  of  one  of  them  :  a  discovery 
which,  as  had  been  shown  by  experience  in  similar  cases,  was 
by  no  means  conclusive,  and  yet  of  too  much  importance  to  be 
overlooked. 

The  individual  thus  involved  knew  me  well,  and  it  required 
no  little  manoeuvring  to  get  over  the  route  as  often  as  was 
necessary,  without  being  observed  by  him.  One  night  when 
thus  endeavoring  to  avoid  him,  a  very  amusing  incident  oc- 
cured. 

The  regular  conductor  soon  after  leaving  Springfield,  was 
taken  suddenly  ill,  and  procured  the  services  of  this  identical 
baggage-master  for  a  short  distance,  unknown  of  course  to  me. 
I  was  sitting  curled  up  in  the  corner  of  the  saloon  of  the  first 
passenger  car,  when  the  door  opened  and  the  well  known  call 
of  11  Tickets,  gentlemen/ *  apprised  me  that  he  had  found  me 
out  before  I  had  recognised  him,  or  at  least  had  discovered 
that  I  was  u  aboard.”  But  I  made  the  best  of  it,  simply  re¬ 
marking  that  there  was  the  least  dust  there  of  any  spot  on  the 
train. 

Up  to  this  time  my  ground  of  suspicion  was  mainly  confined 
to  the  coincidence  already  mentioned  between  the  dates  of 
losses,  and  his  presence  on  the  cars.  The  investigation  had 
not  proceeded  far,  however,  when  another  matter  came  to  light, 
which  increased  suspicion  in  that  quarter. 

A  citizen  of  New  York  called  on  me  and  stated  that  recently, 
just  as  the  night  train  was  starting  from  the  depot  in  Canal 
Street,  he  handed  this  same  baggage-master  a  letter  containing 
money,  which  he  asked  him  to  take  charge  of,  not  having  time 
to  carry  it  to  the  post-office.  He  at  first  declined,  on  the 
ground  that  the  conveyance  of  letters  out  of  the  mail  was  ille¬ 
gal,  but  finally  proposed  to  receive  it,  and,  if  possible,  to  get  it 
into  the  proper  bag  through  one  of  the  small  openings  between 
the  staples.  This  was  the  last  that  was  ever  seen  of  the  letter 
by  the  sender  or  his  correspondent.  The  former  having  called 


I 


HONESTY  TRIUMPHANT.  99 

on  the  baggage-master,  bad  been  told  that  the  letter  was 
crowded  into  the  right  mail-bag,  as  promised ;  but  the  state¬ 
ment  was  not  believed,  and  the  circumstance  happening  in  the 
midst  of  other  troubles  on  the  same  line,  seemed  to  constitute 
an  important  step  in  the  progress  of  discovering  the  author  of 
all  this  mischief. 

A  very  shrewd  acquaintance  of  the  man  of  trunks,  in  Bos¬ 
ton,  was  confidentially  employed  to  ascertain  something  of  his 
habits,  and  the  state  of  his  finances.  After  a  fair  and  faithful 
trial,  he  reported  to  me,  that  the  aforesaid  superintendent  of 
baggage  was  u  as  steady  as  a  model  deacon,  and  as  poor  as  a 
country  editor  within  fifty  miles  by  railroad,  of  a  large  city.” 
And  that  u  although  always  ready,  like  many  other  clever  fel¬ 
lows,  to  partake  of  the  hospitality  of  his  friends  when  strongly 
urged,  yet  you  might  as  well  try  to  get  a  smile  out  of  a  dead 
man  without  the  use  of  a  galvanic  battery,  as  to  induce  him  to 
spend  a  dollar  unnecessarily.” 

The  justice  of  this  report  was  speedily  confirmed,  and  the 
problem  for  the  thousandth  time  satisfactorily  worked  out, 
that  suspicion  never  yet  injured  a  really  honest  man,  although 
seemingly  well  founded  in  the  outset. 

Connected  with  the  mailing  of  one  of  the  large  money  pack¬ 
ages  already  described,  were  circumstances  which  made  it 
necessary,  as  is  often  the  fact  in  a  series  of  robberies,  to  inves¬ 
tigate  it  as  an  isolated  case,  unconnected  with  the  theft  of  the 
other  packages  and  letters,  none  of  which  would  go  into  or 
pass  through  the  office  in  which  this  one  was  deposited. 

The  statement  of  the  cashier  went  to  show  that  he  took  the 
package  to  the  post-office  himself,  and  handed  it  to  a  clerk 
who  happened  to  be  alone  in  the  office,  and  but  a  short  time 
before  the  mail  left  for  New  York.  This  was  confirmed  by  the 
clerk’s  own  statement,  and  by  his  entry  in  a  book  kept  for  the 
registry  of  valuable  letters  and  parcels.  About  the  habits  of 
this  clerk,  and  his  manner  when  examined,  there  was  nothing 
which  appeared  in  the  least  to  implicate  him.  The  cashier 
thought  it  out  of  the  question  that  anything  could  be  wrong 


100 


UNEXPECTED  CONFESSION. 


there.  The  young  clerk  was  a  member  of  his  sabbath-school 
class,  from  which  he  was  never  absent,  and  he  believed  him  to 
be  u  all  right.” 

And  yet  he  had  an  excellent  opportunity  to  have  kept  back 
the  package,  and  the  temptation  would  indeed  have  been  a 
dangerous  one  to  older  and  more  strongly  fortified  persons  than 
he  was.  I  determined,  therefore,  to  put  him  to  the  test  of  a 
direct  charge  of  having  purloined  the  package,  which  I  lost 
no  time  in  doing,  intimating  that  a  confession  and  restoration 
of  the  money  was  his  first  duty.  But  he  met  the  charge  fear¬ 
lessly,  and  firmly  asserted  his  innocence  as  to  the  important 
remittance  in  question.  The  faithful  monitor  within,  how¬ 
ever,  would  not  let  him  rest  there.  Believing,  probably,  that 
I  knew  more  about  other  transactions  of  his  than  the  one  I  had 
accused  him  of,  he  addressed  me  as  follows  : — 

“  I  mailed  that  bank  package,  and  know  that  it  left  our  of¬ 
fice.  What  could  I  have  done  with  so  much  money,  if  I  had 
been  bad  enough  to  have  taken  it?  And  I  was  just  bad 
enough  !  I  am  willing  to  tell  you  all  I  have  done,  and  will 
very  gladly  restore  the  ill-gotten  funds,  for  they  have  made  me 
miserable.” 

I  will  omit  the  details  of  this  unexpected  confession,  but 
the  first  case  owned  was  the  $40  letter  that  had  been  handed 
to  the  through  baggage-master,  to  be  crammed  into  the  locked 
mail-pouch,  the  failure  of  which  letter,  as  has  been  already 
shown,  had  given  so  much  force  to  suspicions  against  him ! 

By  way  of  corroborating  this  part  of  his  admissions,  at  my 
request,  he  described  the  address  of  the  letter,  the  kind  of 
money  it  contained,  and  to  complete  the  identity,  he  mentioned 
that  it  came  there  loose  in  the  mail-bag. 

This  discovery  relieved  the  baggage-man  amazingly,  and  at 
the  same  time  aided  me  in  deciding  at  what  point  the  heavy 
losses  had  occurred ;  for  if  the  large  package  started  from  this 
office,  and  was  not  disturbed  on  the  cars,  it  must  have  been 
stolen  in  the  New  York  or  Philadelphia  office,  where  it  was 
dostined. 


THE  NIGHT  CLERKS. 


101 


Another  fact  transpired  about  this  time,  which  assisted  still 
further  in  locating  these  alarming  robberies.  Among  them 
was  one  of  a  letter  mailed  by  the  cashier  of  a  bank  in  Ver¬ 
mont,  for  an  office  in  one  of  the  Western  States,  and  enclosing 
a  quantity  of  the  notes  of  that  bank.  The  bills  had  peculiar 
marks  upon  them.  They  all  found  their  way  back  to  the  bank 
through  the  usual  channel  of  redemption,  within  a  week  of 
the  time  they  were  mailed ;  hence,  of  course,  the  letter  could 
not  have  gone  beyond  New  York.  Besides,  it  was  sent  to  that 
office  for  distribution,  and  the  post  bill  was  on  file  there,  and 
described  this  identical  letter,  by  its  unusual  rate,  and  as  being 
prepaid  by  stamps.  In  all  the  other  cases,  the  post  bills  were 
not  to  be  found,  either  in  New  York  or  other  distant  post 
offices,  and  they  must  have  been  taken  with  the  packages 
themselves. 

The  fact  that  the  night  mails  had  suffered  chiefly,  war¬ 
ranted  me  now  in  confining  the  investigation  principally  to  the 
night  clerks.  They  were  generally  a  worthy  and  reliable  class 
of  gentlemen,  some  of  them  having  held  this  responsible  sta¬ 
tion  for  many  years.  In  the  inquiries  and  examinations 
which  I  was  obliged  to  make,  I  found  some  instances  of  con¬ 
formity  to  circumstances  and  limited  means,  that  would  con¬ 
fer  credit  on  any  men,  or  any  age. 

But  it  will  perhaps  be  said,  that  cunning  men  may  be  dis¬ 
honest,  and  yet  keep  their  ill-gotten  gains  out  of  sight ;  sur¬ 
rounding  themselves  with  the  appearances  of  frugality  and 
even  poverty.  This  may  be  so  sometimes,  temporarily,  but  it 
is  nevertheless  a  fact  that  rogues  steal  money  to  spend  it,  and 
for  the  comfort  and  ease  which  they  expect  it  will  confer, 
which  expectation,  however,  never  is  realized.  For  it  is  the 
universal  rule  that  money,  or  any  other  property  not  honestly 
obtained,  u  bites  like  a  serpent,  and  stings  like  an  adder;’’  and 
realizing  the  fabled  vulture  of  Prometheus,  unceasingly  feeds 
on  the  undying  life  of  him  who  steals,  not  fire  from  heaven, 
but  a  baser  thing  from  earth. 

The  sad  experience  of  thousands  who  have  thought  them- 
9* 


102 


FEIGNED  SICKNESS. 


selves  cunning  enough  to  cope  with  the  shrewdest  officers  of 
justice,  will  show  that  however  artful  and  ingenious  may  be 
the  devices  adopted,  there  are  ways  enough  to  meet  and  ex¬ 
pose  them.  Honesty  is,  therefore,  not  only  the  best  policy, 
but  the  only  safe  and  impregnable  barrier  against  suspicion, 
detection,  and  misery. 

Pat  R.  was  appointed  as  a  night  porter,  at  the  urgent  solici¬ 
tation  of  a  prominent,  and  at  that  time,  somewhat  influential 
citizen  of  the  First  Ward.  He  was  recommended  as  a  robust, 
athletic  man,  just  suited  to  the  drudgery  which  somebody  must 
undertake  in  such  an  office,  of  attending  to  the  lifting, 
handling,  and  removing  of  heavy  mails.  In  that  capacity  it 
was  not  expected  that  he  would  discharge  any  of  the  more 
responsible  duties  of  a  regular  clerk,  such  as  making  up  and 
assorting  mail-matter;  but  the  labor  of  the  office  accumu¬ 
lating,  he  gradually  added  to  his  nightly  employments  that  of 
“facing  up”  the  contents  of  the  midnight  mails,  after  they 
had  been  emptied  out,  and  separating  the  letter  from  the  news¬ 
paper  packages.  Had  this  last  fact  been  furnished  me  at  an 
earlier  date,  by  the  head  clerk  of  that  department,  this  trouble¬ 
some  investigation  would  probably  have  been  sooner  brought  to 
a  satisfactory  termination.  But,  supposing  from  Pat’s  position 
and  legitimate  duties,  that  he  had  not  the  requisite  opportuni¬ 
ties  for  committing  depredations,  he  was  about  the  last  one  to 
be  looked  after.  And  when  I  did  conclude  to  extend  my  par¬ 
ticular  attentions  to  him,  I  was  somewhat  startled  by  the  dis¬ 
covery,  from  an  examination  of  the  “  time  register” — a  book 
in  which  each  clerk  is  required  to  enter  his  name  and  the  time 
of  his  arrival  at  and  departure  from  the  office — that  Pat  had 
not  been  on  duty  for  nearly  a  week !  This  was  of  course 
known  before  to  the  then  first  clerk  of  that  department,  but 
the  sickness  of  the  absentee,  and  the  death  of  one  of  his  chil¬ 
dren,  which  had  been  alleged  as  an  excuse,  (through  another 
porter,)  seemed  to  be  a  plausible  and  satisfactory  explanation. 

But  the  Agent  thought  otherwise,  under  the  circumstances, 


HUNTING  EXCURSIONS. 


103 


and  deemed  it  best,  at  all  events,  to  ascertain  in  a  careful  way 
its  truth  or  falsity. 

By  the  aid  of  a  reliable  day  clerk,  who  lived  in  Brooklyn, 
in  the  neighborhood  of  Pat,  I  learned  the  name  and  general 
standing  of  the  physician  whom  he  had  employed.  An  inter¬ 
view  with  him,  supposed  on  his  part  to  be  for  the  purpose*  of 
ascertaining  whether  Pat  was  a  man  of  strictly  temperate 
habits,  and  in  all  respects  fit  to  be  employed  in  a  post  office, 
confirmed  the  part  of  his  story  relating  to  the  child’s  death, 
but  disproved  the  rest  of  it,  about  his  own  illness.  But  the 
doctor  went  the  whole  figure  in  regard  to  Pat’s  good  character 
and  fitness  for  any  place  which  was  not  too  intellectual.  I 
could  see,  however,  that  my  referee  cared  more  about  keeping 
a  paying  customer,  (all  professional  charges,  as  he  stated, 
having  been  fully  liquidated  up  to  that  date,)  than  for  posting 
me  up  in  any  matters  that  would  jeopardize  so  good  a  situa¬ 
tion,  where  all  the  monthly  payments  were  in  hard  and  legal 
currency. 

By  this  step  I  obtained  the  first  tangible  justification  of  my 
suspicions  against  Pat.  He  had  assigned,  in  part  at  least,  a 
false  reason  for  his  absence.  At  about  the  same  time,  I  con¬ 
sulted  one  of  the  Brooklyn  penny-posts,  whose  beat  took  in 
Pat’s  residence,  and  who  reported  that  he  had  on  several  occa¬ 
sions  recently  met  him  with  a  gun  on  his  shoulder,  apparently 
starting  on  a  hunting  excursion. 

He  was  very  poor  when  he  entered  the  office,  and  by  way 
of  testing  his  ability  to  live  without  work,  it  was  arranged  with 
an  agent  for  procuring  laborers  for  a  Western  railroad,  to  call 
on  him,  and  offer  him  a  chance  to  go  to  Illinois  as  foreman  of 
a  gang  of  hands.  But  it  was  11  no  go.”  His  health  was  too 
precarious  for  that. 

Thus  matters  went  on  for  some  time  longer,  when  one  day, 
very  much  to  my  surprise,  Pat  entered  the  post  master’s  room, 
and  with  a  woe-begone  look,  and  most  melancholy  tone  of  voice, 
commenced  apologizing  for  his  apparent  neglect  of  duty.  I 
was  busily  engaged  in  writing  at  the  time,  and  so  continued, 


104 


PAT  EXPLAINS  HIS  ABSENCE. 


hoping  that  he  would  not  recognise  me,  as  it  afterwards 
appeared  he  did  not. 

u  Misther  Fowler,”  says  he,  u  I  wish  to  spake  to  your  honor 
about  meself.  Ye  see,  sir,  I’ve  been  unfortunate,  and  didn’t 
come  to  me  task ;  and  the  cause  is,  sir,  that  I’ve  been  sick 
meself  with  a  terrible  diarrhoee  (placing  his  hand  on  his 
abdominal  region,)  and  what  is  more  painful  than  that  (still 
keeping  his  hand  in  the  same  position,  instead  of  changing 
it  to  the  region  of  the  heart,)  I  have  buried  a  darling  boy, 
your  honor;  and  sure  isn’t  it  enough  to  turn  the  brain  of 
a  poor  divil  ?  Ah,  may  the  like  on’t  niver  happen  to  yourself, 
sir !” 

And  a  big  tear  rolling  down  his  cheek,  attested  the  sincerity 
of  his  grief. 

A  momentary  fear  that  the  post  master  might  intimate  some¬ 
thing  of  our  suspicions,  was  speedily  relieved  by  his  shrewdly 
remarking  that  he  was  sorry  for  his  (Pat’s)  misfortunes,  and 
that  he  had  no  fault  to  find,  except  that  he  ought  to  have  sent 
more  particular  word  as  to  the  cause  of  his  detention. 

Pat  thanked  his  employer,  and  backing  out  of  the  room, 
promised  to  be  at  his  post  that  night. 

“Well,  what  do  you  think  of  him?”  inquired  the  post¬ 
master. 

“  I  think,”  said  I,  u  that  if  he  is  the  robber,  and  can  come 
here  and  appear  in  that  way,  he  is  smarter  than  either  of  us. 
But  we  shall  see.” 

For  the  week  following,  but  few  of  his  movements  were 
unknown  to  me.  His  duties  at  night  were  very  indifferently 
performed,  and  the  hours  during  the  day  usually  improved  by 
the  other  night  clerks  for  rest,  were  by  him  devoted  to  dissi¬ 
pation  ;  so  that,  before  half  the  night  had  passed,  he  would 
often  be  found  in  some  out  of  the  way  place,  fast  asleep. 

His  discharge  (which  he  no  doubt  desired)  was  thought 
best,  in  order  to  throw  him  upon  his  own  resources,  with  the 
hope  of  bringing  to  light  some  of  the  stolen  funds,  if  they 
were  still  in  his  hands.  Much  of  the  money,  which  amounted 


PAT  ON  BROADWAY. 


105 


in  all  to  some  $8000,  could  be  identified.  The  Middletown 
package  of  $2000  consisted  of  small  bills,  put  up  in  parcels 
of  $200  each ;  and  upon  every  bill  there  was  a  mark  by  which 
it  could  be  readily  known.  Up  to  this  time  none  of  the  money 
contained  in  this  package  or  the  others,  except  that  mentioned 
as  coming  from  Vermont,  had  found  its  way  to  the  banks  by 
which  it  was  issued. 

One  day,  about  noon,  I  observed  Pat’s  giant-like  form  cross¬ 
ing  Broadway,  and  for  more  than  an  hour  I  followed  him 
without  his  knowledge,  until  he  brought  up  in  a  stone-cutter’s 
establishment.  As  I  passed  and  repassed  the  door,  I  thought 
I  observed  him  paying  over  some  bank-notes  to  the  occupant. 
After  he  had  left,  I  stepped  in,  and  was  soon  in  possession  of 
three  $5  notes  of  the  Middletown  (Ct.)  Bank,  with  which  he 
had  paid  for  the  grave-stones  of  “his  darling  boy  l”  The 
bills  were  clearly  a  part  of  the  $2000  Middletown  package, 
being  of  the  same  denomination,  and  exhibiting  the  same 
unmistakable  marks. 

This  accidental  meeting,  at  once  supplying  a  key  to  the 
mystery,  was  one  of  those  misfortunes  that  so  often  befall 
criminals  at  some  point  of  their  guilty  career,  and  even  when 
they  imagine  themselves  perfectly  successful,  and  permanently 
secure  against  the  possibility  of  detection. 

I  must  here  tell  the  reader  a  secret,  explanatory  of  a  ques¬ 
tion  that  naturally  arises,  namely,  why,  with  such  overwhelm¬ 
ing  proof  in  my  possession,  an  arrest  was  not  at  once  made. 
It  was  simply  because  he  would  have  gone  clear  before  any 
tribunal,  had  I  depended  on  the  case  as  it  then  stood.  The 
bills  of  the  $2000  package  were  all  marked  as  stated,  but 
unfortunately  a  large  amount,  with  precisely  the  same  pecu¬ 
liarities,  was  in  circulation  at  this  very  time,  though  not  sup¬ 
posed  to  be  in  that  vicinity.  Had  the  arrest  taken  place  then, 
and  the  cashier  been  summoned  to  testify  on  the  point  of 
identity,  he  would  have  said  that  ho  put  such  bills  into  the 
Philadelphia  package,  but  could  not  have  sworn  that  they 
were  some  of  the  identical  notes. 


106 


THE  JOLLY  UNDERTAKERS. 


Besides,  it  was  no  unimportant  part  of  this  difficult  busi¬ 
ness,  to  effect  a  return  of  the  funds,  as  far  as  possible,  to  the 
pockets  of  the  victims  of  these  robberies. 

The  scarcity  of  live  game  in  any  direction  within  several 
miles  of  Brooklyn,  and  Pat’s  supposed  want  of  experience  in 
the  use  of  the  u  shooting  iron,”  suggested  the  possibility  that 
his  frequent  excursions  to  a  neighboring  wood  had  some  other 
object  than  hunting.  Possibly  it  might  be  the  guarding  of 
his  hidden  treasures. 

Therefore,  on  a  bright  October  morning,  I  concluded,  if 
possible,  to  know  more  upon  this  point,  and,  disguised  in  the 
garb  of  a  shabby-looking  hunter,  with  a  gun  and  dog  borrowed 
of  a  friend  for  the  occasion,  I  strolled  off  in  the  direction  in 
which  Pat  had  so  often  been  in  the  habit  of  going.  Before 
fairly  reaching  the  woods,  he  and  two  of  his  companions 
passed  me  in  a  rough-looking  vehicle,  and  soon  after  turned 
from  the  main  road  into  the  burial-ground.  From  a  somewhat 
secluded  spot,  I  could  watch  their  movements  tolerably  well, 
and  it  soon  became  apparent  that  at  least  one  of  the  objects 
of  this  trip  was  to  place  the  marble  stones — the  payment  for 
which  had  so  singularly  betrayed  him — at  the  grave  of  his 
deceased  child. 

The  whole  party  were  evidently  under  the  effects  of  the 
“critter;”  and  the  prospect  seemed  to  be,  that  they  would 
soon  have  occasion  to  mourn  the  departure  of  other  beloved 
spirits ,  for  the  jug  circulated  freely,  and  a  more  jolly  set  of 
fellows,  considering  the  lugubrious  nature  of  their  errand,  is 
seldom  met  with. 

But  when  they  arrived  at  the  spot  where  the  child  was 
sleeping,  their  mirth  grew  less  boisterous,  and  Pat  in  silence 
commenced  his  labor  of  love;  and  as  he  proceeded  in  his 
melancholy  task,  I  could  see  that  he  refused  to  join  his  com¬ 
panions  in  further  potations,  for  although  their  respect  for  the 
place,  or  for  their  friend’s  affliction,  seemed  to  overcome  for 
the  time  their  rum-inspired  loquacity,  they  did  not  cease 
to  resort  to  the  jug  for  strength  to  enable  them  to  bear  his 


•  ‘  ’• 

l 


v> 


-Wl-jliF.! 


■ 

* 

* 

1 

• 

s»f  *?»*> 


I 

'  'V-  ■  'f.  *  ' 

* 


* 

nij>  ju  *.i  >  > 

a 

BBlPOTKWf  '>(  i'  '  >*':•, 

Jt 


- 


>ltJ«W9&I>A  4  ifiRK'VM 


m.  i '  - .  • 

* 

' 

1  . 

■  *  *•> 


PAT  AT  THE  GRAVE. 


107 


grief,  while  sitting  in  the  cart  waiting  for  the  completion  of 
the  task  which  brought  them  there. 

O 

At  length  the  little  white  stones  stood  in  their  places,  show¬ 
ing,  by  the  short  distance  between  them,  how  brief  was  the 
passage  from  the  cradle  to  the  grave,  of  the  being  whose 
whole  history,  so  far  as  concerned  the  world  at  large,  was 
inscribed  on  these  marble  pages. 

A  parent’s  heart,  however,  bears  a  different  record;  and 
after  Pat  had  adjusted  the  turf  about  the  little  grave,  and 
given  the  finishing  touches  to  his  work,  he  stood  and  gazed 
for  a  moment  upon  the  resting  place  of  his  child,  thinking — • 
of  what  ?  Perhaps  of  the  contrast  between  the  guilty  living 
and  the  innocent  dead.  Perhaps  a  flash  from  conscience 
glanced  across  his  mind.  At  least  he  exhibited  some  external 
signs  of  emotion,  for  as  he  turned  away  to  join  his  uncon¬ 
cerned  companions,  he  brushed  away  a  tear,  and  with  it,  per¬ 
haps,  the  softening  influences  that  were  at  work  upon  his 
heart. 

The  trio  once  more  seated  in  the  vehicle,  Pat  no  longer  re¬ 
fused  the  fluid  consolation  that  his  companions  proffered  him. 
They  by  turns  levelled  the  jug  at  the  heavens,  taking  observa¬ 
tions  with  the  mouth  rather  than  with  the  eyes,  and  as  the 
last  member  of  this  astronomical  corps  elevated  the  instrument, 
its  near  approach  to  the  perpendicular  showed  that  a  vacuum 
was  well  nigh  formed  within  its  recesses.  What  discoveries 
they  made,  except  u  seeing  stars”  in  general,  I  cannot  say,  for 
they  immediately  turned  their  course  towards  home. 

This  was  the  last  that  I  saw  of  Pat  that  day,  but  the  next 
time  he  started  on  his  accustomed  tramp,  two  days  after,  he 
had  at  least  one  attentive  spectator  of  his  rifle  exercise ;  and 
although  I  failed  on  this  occasion  to  discover  the  precise  place 
of  his  deposits,  owing  to  my  fear  of  alarming  him,  the  opinion 
was  strengthened  by  what  I  saw,  that  they  were  still  resting 
quietly  within  a  thick  piece  of  woods,  embracing  some  three 
or  four  acres,  where  he  spent  several  hours  that  day.  During 
this  time,  I  was  not  more  than  a  quarter  of  a  mile  from  him, 


108 


FIRING  A  SALUTE. 


yet  not  a  single  report  of  his  gun  did  I  hear.  Presuming 
that  he  had  seen  me  at  a  distance,  I  now  and  then  let  off  a 
charge  innocent  of  lead,  and  occasionally  betrayed  the  dog 
into  a  tolerably  ferocious  bark,  by  making  him  “speak”  for  a 
small  cigar  case  which,  held  at  a  respectful  distance  from  the 
animal,  might  easily  have  been  mistaken  by  him  for  a  well- 
cooked  morsel  of  meat.  This  stratagem  I  thought  necessary 
to  carry  out  the  idea  of  a  busy  and  enthusiastic  huntsman. 
But  this  little  essay  at  hunting  yielded  me  no  game  of  bipeds,  * 
feathered  or  otherwise. 

Soon  after  this,  a  rumor  that  several  of  his  neighbors  were 
preparing  for  a  removal  to  the  West,  led  me  to  fear  that  Pat 
also  might  have  similar  intentions,  and  that  on  the  occasion  of 
his  last  visit  to  the  woods,  he  might,  after  all,  have  withdrawn 
the  deposits.  It  was  therefore  deemed  unsafe  to  delay  longer 
in  bringing  matters  to  a  crisis.  But  the  manner  of  doing  this, 
and  of  conducting  the  arrest,  so  as  to  accumulate  evidence  of 
his  guilt,  and  at  the  same  time  recover  a  part  or  the  whole  of 
the  funds,  was  worthy  of  much  caution  and  study.  If  I 
went  with  an  officer  directly  to  his  house  to  make  the  arrest, 
he  might  be  absent  at  the  time,  and,  getting  notice  of  our  visit, 
effect  his  escape.  His  family  or  accomplices,  if  he  had  any, 
would  of  course  be  aware  of  our  movements,  and  perhaps 
secure  the  spoils,  unless  they  were  secreted  immediately  upon 
the  premises.  Then  I  should  be  left  with  only  the  proof 
already  mentioned :  that  he  had  had  an  opportunity  of  pur¬ 
loining  the  $2000  package,  and  had  passed  three  bills  supposed 
to  have  been  contained  therein ;  together  with  some  other  less 
important  circumstances. 

The  only  safe  and  discreet  course  seemed  to  be  to  secure 
him  when  alone,  and  by  that  means  keep  his  family  ignorant 
respecting  his  arrest,  until  every  effort  had  been  made  to  get 
possession  of  the  money.  Accordingly  I  procured  the  aid  of 
an  officer,  and  at  an  early  hour  in  the  morning,  we  took  up  our 
quarters  in  a  private  dwelling  in  the  neighborhood,  where  wo 


CROSSING  THE  FERRY. 


109 


could  overlook  Pat’s  house,  and  patiently  waited  for  him  to 
make  his  appearance. 

It  happened  to  he  one  of  his  lazy  mornings,  and  he  did  not 
venture  out  until  near  ten  o’clock,  and  then,  very  much  to  our 
disappointment,  in  company  with  another  individual,  unknown 
to  either  of  us.  A  moment’s  consultation  resulted  in  the  deci¬ 
sion  to  follow  them  at  some  distance,  in  the  hope  that  they 
might  separate,  hut  with  the  determination  not  to  lose  sight 
of  Pat  again,  and  to  take  him  into  custody  that  day  at  all 
hazards.  We  had  not  gone  far,  however,  before  he  looked 
over  his  shoulder,  and  although  at  least  two  squares  from  us, 
and  a  number  of  othel* persons  were  passing  and  repassing  at 
the  time,  he  no  doubt  recognised  the  officer,  for  after  pro¬ 
ceeding  but  a  few  steps  further,  he  and  his  friend  turned  and 
came  toward  us. 

Believing  that  we  were  discovered,  and  that  Pat  was  making 
for  the  house  to  look  after  the  safety  of  the  treasures,  a  strata¬ 
gem  was  hastily  arranged  to  throw  him  off  his  guard,  and  at 
the  same  time  to  separate  him  from  the  stranger,  who  was  so 
much  in  our  way.  It  matters  little  what  this  scheme  was, 
provided  there  were  no  actual  misrepresentations  involved. 
Suffice  it  to  say,  it  was  quite  successful,  and  his  companion 
resuming  his  walk  towards  Brooklyn  City  Hall,  the  rest  of  the 
party  were  soon  on  their  way  to  New  York. 

At  the  ferry,  and  while  waiting  for  the  boat,  Pat  suddenly 
became  quite  restless,  as  if  he  had  for  the  first  time  connected 
me  with  the  scene  in  the  post  master’s  room.  He  walked 
back  and  forth  upon  the  dock,  and  several  times  halted  and 
leaned  on  the  railing  directly  over  the  water,  with  one  hand 
in  his  breeches’  pocket,  as  if  he  contemplated  throwing  some¬ 
thing  overboard.  But  I  remained  closely  at  his  side,  wherever 
he  went,  and  kept  him  engaged  as  much  as  possible,  in  re¬ 
marks  about  the  weather,  the  growth  of  Brooklyn,  and  other 
common-place  matters. 

We  had  soon  crossed  the  ferry,  and  were  seated  in  an  omni¬ 
bus,  moving  slowly  (who  ever  went  in  any  other  way  by  that 

10  ~ 


110 


SCENE  AT  TIIE  TOST-OEEICE. 


conveyance  ?)  up  Broadway.  Pat  had  by  this  time  grown  very 
taciturn,  and  no  doubt  began  to  suspect  that  his  escort  was  not 
entirely  prepared  to  fight  for  his  personal  liberty.  In  fact,  he 
must  have  fully  decided  in  his  own  mind  that  we  were  no  very 
consistent  friends  of  the  “  largest  liberty,”  in  his  case  at  least, 
when  one  of  us  pulled  the  leather  strap,  to  give  the  usual 
signal  for  a  halt.  This  was  just  as  we  had  reached  the  head 
of  Cedar  street,  on  which  the  post  office  is  situated,  and  before 
we  had  arrived,  by  several  blocks,  at  the  place  where  he  at 
first  supposed  he  was  going  to  call,  for  a  much  more  agreeable 
purpose  than  that  of  being  confronted  with  the  charge  of 
extensive  mail  robbery. 

As  he  alighted  from  the  “slow  coach,”  he  halted  for  a 
moment,  as  if  inclined  to  have  some  better  understanding 
before  proceeding  further,  especially  as  we  turned  our  faces  in 
the  direction  of  the  post  office.  He  possessed  physical  strength 
enough  to  have  put  an  end  to  our  troubling  him  any  further, 
but  Broadway  at  midday  is  no  very  favorable  place  for  such  an 
attempt ;  and  besides,  he  no  doubt  hoped  that  all  might  yet 
come  out  right.  After  being  told  that  he  was  wanted  at  the 
post  office  on  some  private  business,  he  went  there  peaceably. 

Once  alone  with  him  in  a  private  room,  the  time  had 
fully  arrived  for  deciding — not  as  to  his  guilt,  for  of  that  I 
was  fully  satisfied — but  what  were  the  chances  of  proving  it, 
and  of  inducing  him  to  disgorge  his  plunder. 

“  Patrick,”  said  I,  “  you  are  detected  in  your  robberies  of 
the  night  mails  in  this  office,  and  the  first  question  I  wish  you 
to  answer  is,  can  you  restore  the  money,  that  it  may  be  re¬ 
turned  to  those  you  have  robbed.” 

He  received  the  accusation  with  a  look  of  surprise,  but 
without  any  manifest  trepidation. 

“  I  am  an  honest  man,  thank  God,”  he  asseverated,  “  and 
I’ll  defy  all  ye  can  do  to  me;  and  it’s  nither  ye  nor  the  divil 
that  can  scare  me,  so  it  ain’t,”  at  the  same  time  drawing  him¬ 
self  up  into  an  attitude  of  defiance. 

“  I  don’t  wish  to  scare  you,  Pat,”  I  remarked.  “  I  am 


BETRAYED  BY  A  HAT. 


Ill 


sorry  on  account  of  your  family  tliat  you  should  have  so 
abused  your  trust  while  employed  in  this  office.  But  that  is 
neither  here  nor  there.  I  want  you  to  hand  over  the  seven  or 
eight  thousand  dollars  you  have  got  so  wrongfully.  You 
passed  some  of  the  $2000,  from  the  Middletown  package,  to 
Mr.  Gr.,  for  the  grave-stones,  you  know,  and  I  have  the  bills 
in  my  pocket.” 

“  And  it’s  trouble  enough  that  I’ve  had,”  he  replied,  “  with 
the  sickness  of  meself,  and  the  death  of  little  Pat,  and  now 
ye’d  have  me  father  all  the  thievish  tricks  of  the  whole  office, 
would  ye  ?  Ye’ll  find,  if  ye  look  sharp,  that  it’s  another  that’s 
got  the  letters  ye  speak  of ;  for  sure  haven’t  I  seen  him,  while 
1  facing  up,’  throw  something  under  the  counter,  among  the 
waste  paper,  and  then  go  looking  there  agin,  a£ter  his  task 
was  done  ?  And  wasn’t  they  large,  thick  parcels  that  he 
dumped  under  the  table  ?” 

I  have  never  had  a  doubt  that  he  was  then  describing  the 
exact  process  by  which  he  committed  his  own  depredations. 

<c  Very  well,”  I  answered,  “you  will  soon  see  who  is  answer- 
able;”  and  calling  the  officer,  who  had  remained  outside  the 
door  during  the  conversation,  Pat  was  notified  that  his  person 
must  undergo  a  thorough  search — and  it  was  thorough. 

Among  the  contents  of  his  wallet  were  some  forty  dollars 
that  agreed  very  well  with  the  description  of  the  kind  of 
money  mailed  at  Joliet,  and  also  the  receipt  for  the  aforesaid 
grave-stones.  On  examining  his  hat,  which  he  had  taken  off 
on  first  entering  the  office,  and  placed  at  some  distance,  on  the 
top  of  a  secretary,  there  appeared,  snugly  stowed  away  under 
the  leather  lining,  $165,  all  in  fives  of  the  Middletown  Bank, 
with  the  well-known  marks  on  each  bill !  But  even  this  dis¬ 
covery  produced  but  little  impression  on  him ;  declaring,  as  he 
did  very  promptly,  that  he  could  show  where  he  obtained  that 
money ;  and  no  doubt  he  could  ! 

Pat  was  left  in  charge  of  two  suitable  persons,  and  the 
remainder  of  the  day  was  spent  by  the  officer  and  myself  in 
searching  his  house  and  premises  for  the  balance  of  the  missing 


112 


UNAVAILING  SEARCH. 


funds,  which  was  done  without  giving  any  information  to  his 
wife  of  the  real  object  of  our  examination,  or  the  unpleasant 
situation  of  her  husband.  The  woods  were  also  thoroughly 
ransacked,  though  the  chances  appeared  to  be,  that  the  booty 
had  been  removed  to  the  house  or  vicinity,  as  he  went  directly 
from  home  that  morning,  having  a  part  of  the  funds  about  his 
person,  with  the  design,  as  it  was  afterwards  ascertained,  of 
purchasing  tickets  for  himself  and  family,  and  several  others, 
to  Illinois. 

But  our  researches  were  unavailing,  and  I  returned  to  the 
post-office  somewhat  disappointed ;  for  the  proof  was  not  yet 
sufficient  to  convict  him,  on  account  of  the  impossibility  of 
identifying  the  bills  with  certainty,  as  I  have  already  men¬ 
tioned. 

Before  leaving,  I  had  made  known  to  him  our  intention  to 
search  his  house,  and  when  we  returned,  he  for  the  first  time 
showed  signs  of  great  uneasiness,  and  walked  the  room  con¬ 
stantly,  evidently  anxious  to  know  if  his  treasures  had  been 
discovered.  His  anxiety  was  natural  enough,  for  it  turned 
out  that  the  whole  of  the  money  was  secreted  in  the  house, 
and  that  at  one  time  during  the  search,  I  was  separated  from 
its  hiding  place,  only  by  a  half-inch  board  ! 

But  Pat  remained  immovable,  so  far  as  any  confessions 
were  concerned \  and  it  was  thought  advisable,  at  this  junc¬ 
ture,  to  call  into  requisition  the  influence  of  the  person  at  whose 
urgent  solicitation  Pat  had  obtained  his  situation  in  the  post- 
office.  An  interview  between  them  was  speedily  arranged, 
but  the  accused,  for  a  while,  still  continued  stoutly  to  deny  his 
guilt.  Subsequently,  however,  he  inquired  of  the  post  master 
whether,  in  case  he  produced  the  money,  he  would  have  his 
liberty.  The  post  master  assented,  so  far  as  to  promise  no 
prosecution  on  his  part,  and  Pat  finally  agreed  to  go  with  us 
on  the  following  morning,  and  point  out  the  place  of  deposit, 
but  insisted  that  H.,  his  friend  and  patron,  (just  referred  to,) 
should  be  of  the  party. 

Fully  impressed  with  the  importance  of  securing  Pat  as  well 


RECOVERY  OF  MONEY. 


113 


as  the  property  of  his  victims,  I  now  obtained  a  warrant, 
which  was  at  once  placed  in  the  hands  of  one  of  the  U.  S. 
Deputy  Marshals,  who  agreed  to  be  in  the  immediate  vicinity 
of  the  mail  robber’s  residence,  but  to  delay  the  arrest  till  he 
received  a  signal  from  me  that  all  was  ready,  and  after  the 
funds  were  fairly  in  our  possession. 

Accordingly,  a  hack  was  ordered  to  be  at  the  post  office  at 
an  early  hour  the  next  morning,  and  we  (the  post  master,  my¬ 
self,  Pat,  and  H.)  were  soon  crossing  the  ferry  to  South  Brook¬ 
lyn.  Ten  minutes’  ride  brought  us  in  front  of  Pat’s  house, 
where  we  all  alighted.  Here  matters  took  a  turn  wholly  unex¬ 
pected  to  me,  for  Pat  insisted  that  no  one  but  his  friend,  IT., 
and  himself,  should  go  for  the  money,  which  he  said  was 
buried  in  the  yard  behind  the  house.  To  this  I  objected,  but 
Pat  stood  firm,  remarking,  that  it  would  attract  too  much  at¬ 
tention  if  all  hands  went,  and  that  if  his  request  could  not  be 
granted,  he  should  make  no  further  disclosures,  and  we  might 
as  well  go  back  to  New  York. 

The  post  master  and  myself  having  at  that  time  confidence 
in  H.,  I  took  him  aside  and  told  him  Pat  must  not  be  allowed 
to  escape,  on  any  account,  and  that  if  he  went  alone  with  him, 
he  must  promise  to  be  responsible  for  his  safe  and  speedy  re¬ 
turn  with  the  money,  to  all  of  which,  H.  readily  assented, 
claiming  to  have  complete  control  over  his  man,  and  promis¬ 
ing  to  have  him  back  in  a  few  moments.  With  this  under¬ 
standing  they  both  passed  round  the  house,  and  I  started 
to  give  the  Marshal  the  signal  that  the  time  for  his  services 
had  arrived. 

Not  more  than  three  minutes  had  elapsed  before  I  returned 
in  company  with  that  officer,  and  H.  was  seen  coming  towards 
us,  with  a  small  box  under  his  arm,  but  alone. 

u  Where  is  B.  ?”  I  inquired. 

“  He  went  into  the  house,  through  the  back  yard,”  was  the 
response. 

Taking  the  box  from  IT.,  and  handing  it  over  to  the  post 
master,  to  be  taken  to  the  carriage,  we  at  once  passed  into  the 
10* 


114 


PAT  ESCAPES. 


house,  hut  no  Pat  could  be  found.  On  applying  to  II.,  to 
know  what  this  meant,  he  explained  by  saying,  that  as  soon  as 
the  box  was  handed  to  him,  Pat  hopped  over  the  fence  into 
his  back  yard,  and  entered  the  house. 

After  some  further  search,  he  could  not  be  found  there,  and 
H.  proposed  that  we  should  not  then  appear  too  anxious  to 
secure  him ;  repeatedly  promising  to  have  him  forthcoming  at 
any  moment,  after  the  excitement  had  passed  by  a  little. 
Returning  to  the  carriage,  we  started  for  New  York,  counting 
the  funds  as  we  rode,  which  amounted  to  $4473.  Much  of  it 
was  in  the  original  parcels  of  bank-notes,  of  one  hundred  and 
two  hundred  dollars  each,  enclosed  in  the  usual  straps  of  paper, 
with  the  amount  of  each  package  marked  thereon,  in  the 
figures  of  the  cashiers  and  others,  which  greatly  assisted  after¬ 
wards  in  the  identification. 

The  author  of  all  this  mischief  managed  to  elude  the  most 
secretly  and  cautiously  executed  plans  for  his  arrest.  It  was, 
however,  pretty  well  ascertained  that  he  occasionally  visited 
his  home  during  the  night  season,  and  one  night  he  was  dis¬ 
covered  at  a  late  hour,  by  a  local  policeman  (who  had  been 
employed  to  watch  for  him,)  emerging  from  the  front  door  of 
his  house.  They  saw  each  other  at  about  the  same  instant, 
and  the  policeman  made  an  effort  to  seize  him ;  but  Pat  was 
well  armed,  and  was  in  the  act  of  pointing  a  gun  at  the 
officer,  when  the  latter,  knocking  it  aside,  presented  a  revolver 
and  snapped  it,  the  cap,  luckily  for  the  miserable  fugitive  from 
justice,  only  exploding. 

The  noise  had  attracted  the  attention  of  two  of  his  friends, 
who  it  appears  were  just  leaving  the  premises,  and  who  were 
also  well  armed,  and  in  the  confusion  which  ensued,  aided  by 
the  darkness  of  the  night,  Pat  managed  to  get  clear  again. 

The  next  attempt  to  arrest  him  was  undertaken  in  conse¬ 
quence  of  private  information  that  his  family,  together  with  a 
brother  and  other  relatives,  had  purchased  tickets  for  the  West. 
The  buying  of  an  extra  ticket  more  than  was  required  for  the 
party  entering  their  names,  authorized  the  belief  that  it  was 


SEARCHING  A  STEAMER. 


115 


obtained  for  Pat  himself,  who  would  probably  join  them  at 
some  point  on  the  route.  They  were  to  leave  on  a  certain 
evening,  by  one  of  the  Albany  boats,  which  usually  made  no 
landing  between  the  two  cities.  On  this  occasion  authority 
was  obtained  for  the  boat  to  touch  at  Poughkeepsie,  to  receive 
on  board  the  Special  Agent  and  two  United  States  Marshals. 
With  this  sleepless  corps  of  officials  there  was  no  lack  of 
handcuffs,  revolvers,  &c.,  nor  of  firm  resolves  to  take  the  cul¬ 
prit  at  all  hazards,  if  he  was  on  the  boat,  and  to  arrest  his  wife 
and  one  or  two  others,  believed  to  have  been  his  accessories 
after,  if  not  before,  the  fact. 

The  night  being  still  and  cloudless,  at  about  midnight  the 
well-known  sound  of  a  steamer’s  paddles  was  heard,  and  soon 
the  huge  form  of  the  u  Hendrick  Hudson”  was  seen  looming 
up  in  the  distance,  her  numerous  signal  and  other  lights,  as 
she  changed  her  position  from  time  to  time,  appearing  like 
some  brilliant  constellation,  and  making  a  most  beautiful  dis¬ 
play. 

As  she  approached,  for  a  time  there  appeared  no  perceptible 
change  in  her  course,  but  when  nearly  opposite  the  landing, 
she  suddenly  veered  toward  us,  and  in  a  moment  her  guards 
were  chafing  against  the  ends  of  the  pier ;  and  without  wait¬ 
ing  for  the  gang-plank,  we  were  on  board  before  the  wheels 
had  fairly  ceased  their  motion.  The  engineer’s  bell  sounded 
the  signal  for  going  ahead;  and  we  about  the  same  time 
commenced  our  search  through  the  floating  palace. 

As  we  progressed  through  the  spacious  cabins,  a  chorus  of 
discordant  sounds  saluted  us  from  their  sleeping  occupants. 

It  is  curious,  by  the  way,  to  see  how  the  levelling  influence 
of  sleep  shows  itself  in  establishing  a  sort  of  equality  between 
different  individuals,  in  respect  of  the  noise  they  make  in  the 
world.  Your  modest  man,  who,  in  his  waking  moments,  avoids 
all  display  of  his  vocal  or  other  powers,  no  sooner  comes  under 
the  influence  of  the  drowsy  god,  than  his  modesty  deserts 
him;  he  blows  his  trumpet  with  as  "much  sonorousness  as 
the  most  impudent  of  mankind.  The  most  retiring  person  1 


lib 


THE  WRONG  PASSENGER. 


ever  knew,  was  remarkable  for  being  outrageously  vociferous 
in  his  slumbers. 

The  redoubtable  Pat,  however,  was  guiltless  of  contributing 
to  the  volume  of  sound  aforesaid ;  nor  was  his  physiognomy 
discoverable  among  the  sleeping  or  waking  occupants  of 
the  cabins,  so  far  as  we  could  see.  And  as  for  any  discove¬ 
ries  we  made  that  night,  or  any  good  that  our  trusty  arms  did 
us,  we  might  as  well  have  been  encircled  in  the  “  arms  of 
Morpheus.”  At  one  time,  however,  we  thought  our  night’s 
work  would  prove  a  successful  one,  for  on  hastily  consulting 
the  clerk  as  we  boarded  the  steamer,  he  informed  us  that  a 
man  answering  tolerably  well  the  description  of  the  object  of 
our  search,  had  paid  his  fare  to  Albany,  and  was  snugly  stowed 
away  in  berth  No.  54,  in  the  forward  cabin. 

The  revolvers  and  “  ornaments”  were  hastily  examined,  and 
the  plan  adopted  of  delegating  one  of  the  trio  to  proceed 
quietly  to  No.  54,  and,  under  the  pretence  that  its  occupant 
was  in  possession  of  the  wrong  berth,  to  ascertain,  first,  if  he 
was  really  the  veritable  Pat. 

As  I  was  the  only  one  who  could  readily  identify  him,  this 
duty  fell  upon  me ;  and  leaving  my  fearless  associates  at  the 
top  of  the  stairs,  with  instructions  to  rush  to  my  aid,  in  case 
I  took  off  my  hat,  with  almost  breathless  anxiety  I  made  a 
descent  into  the  cabin,  and  in  a  few  seconds  stood  in  front  of 
the  berth  designated  by  the  clerk. 

“  Hallo,  stranger,”  I  called  out,  at  the  same  time  gently 
shaking  him,  u  haven’t  you  got  the  wrong  pew  ?” 

An  inhuman  sort  of  a  grunt  was  all  the  reply  I  could  at  first 
obtain,  but  after  repeating  the  inquiry,  and  increasing  the 
force  of  the  punch,  he  leisurely  turned  over. 

“And  what  the  d — 1  do  you  want?”  says  the  lodger, 
“  bothering  a  gentleman  in  this  way  ?  Is  it  my  pocket-book, 
oi  my  boots,  you’re  after  ?” 

It  wasn’t  Pat’s  voice  at  all,  nor  was  it  his  face,  which  I  at 
that  moment  got  a  glimpse  of,  by  the  aid  of  a  lantern  in  the 
hands  of  one  of  the  servants  who  was  passing  As  I  saw  pre- 


pat’s  wife  arrested. 


117 


parations  making  for  u  turning  out/’  and  was  satisfied  that  I 
had  waked  up  the  wrong  passenger,  I  thought  it  prudent  to 
withdraw  before  matters  progressed  further  in  that  direction. 

None  of  the  suspected  party  were  on  hoard  on  that  occasion. 

The  telegraph  was  resorted  to  after  our  arrival  in  Albany, 
and  word  transmitted  to  us  in  that  way,  that  the  party  we  were 
in  search  of  would  certainly  go  up  the  river  by  the  boat  on 
the  following  night. 

The  next  morning  we  were  at  the  wharf,  and  by  an  arrange¬ 
ment  with  the  officers  of  the  boat,  we  were  enabled  to  see 
every  person  who  went  ashore,  as  they  passed  through  a  half- 
opened  door  at  the  after-gangway,  in  giving  up  the  passage 
tickets.  The  net  was  well  spread  this  time,  and  though  we 
did  not  pick  Pat  up,  we  secured  the  whole  party  of  his  travel¬ 
ing  friends,  including  his  wife  and  two  children.  The  Mar¬ 
shal  took  them  in  charge,  and  without  much  ceremony  or  ex¬ 
planation,  conducted  them  to  a  hack  which  had  been  provided 
for  their  special  accommodation.  They  were  very  soon  after 
escorted  to  the  police  station,  and  a  subsequent  examination 
of  their  persons  and  effects  afforded  no  additional  light,  except 
that  among  the  baggage  of  Mrs.  R.  was  found  a  lot  of  scrap 
gold,  which  a  dentist  of  Philadelphia  mailed  to  a  New  York 
firm,  and  which  had  never  reached  that  firm.  On  the  strength 
of  this  discovery,  she  was  afterwards  indicted  as  an  accomplice 
of  her  husband,  and  committed  to  Brooklyn  jail,  where  she 
remained  for  several  months,  her  two  children  staying  with 
her,  at  her  own  request. 

Although  she  undoubtedly  knew  the  precise  locality  of  her 
u  liege  lord,”  and  probably  could  have  procured  her  own 
liberty  by  making  it  known,  yet  she  remained  firm,  and  to  the 
last  steadily  refused  to  give  the  least  information,  insisting, 
moreover,  that  she  was  ignorant  of  the  post  office  depredations 
at  the  time  they  were  going  on,  and  that  the  stolen  property 
found  in  her  possession  was  placed  in  one  of  the  trunks  with¬ 
out  her  knowledge.  Possibly  it  was  so,  as  some  of  Pat’s 
wearing  apparel  was  found  there  also. 


118 


FALSE  IMPRISONMENT. 


The  remainder  of  the  party,  three  in  number,  were  detained 
at  Albany.  It  was  deemed  necessary  that  they  should  remain 
there  a  while,  but  the  Chief  of  Police  was  instructed  not  to 
treat  them  strictly  as  prisoners,  but  to  allow  them  to  lodge  at 
the  station ;  and  an  arrangement  was  made  for  them  to  eat  at 
a  neighboring  restaurant,  at  the  expense  of  Government. 

The  proprietor  of  the  aforesaid  restaurant  finding,  however, 
that  they  were  disposed  to  abuse  that  privilege,  by  imbibing 
too  freely,  and  selecting  from  the  bill  of  fare  whatever  was 
choice  and  expensive — and  especially  as  the  contract  for  this 
portion  of  his  customers  was  not  very  clearly  defined — took 
the  precaution  to  erase  from  one  copy  of  the  bill  of  fare  all 
articles  of  a  rare  and  expensive  kind,  which  corrected  list,  by 
the  third  day,  embraced  but  one  or  two  plain  dishes.  This 
brief  programme  was  sure  to  be  thrust  before  them  as  often  as 
they  called  for  anything  to  eat,  though  a  verbal  announcement 
of  u  coffee”  was  added  at  the  regular  morning  and  evening 
repast.  Having  also  some  faint  recollection  of  the  discussions 
in  the  public  papers  about  reforms  in  the  Navy,  and  dispensing 
with  the  u  grog  rations,”  he  compromised  the  matter  on  that 
head,  by  allowing  the  men  “  two  drinks”  a  day,  and  no  more ; 
that  being,  in  his  estimation,  a  proper  Government  allowance. 

As  sufficient  legal  evidence  could  not  be  procured,  to  show 
that  they  really  aided  and  abetted  in  the  robberies,  they  were 
notified  that  their  bills  would  no  longer  be  paid  by  the  Post 
Office  Department;  and  declining  to  continue  their  journey  to 
the  West,  tickets  were  furnished  them  to  return  to  New  York. 

Soon  after  their  arrival  in  the  city,  they  fell  in  with  a  tolera¬ 
bly  smart  specimen  of  a  lawyer,  whose  indignation  at  the 
unheard-of  proceedings  against  them,  of  course  had  nothing 
to  do  with  so  mercenary  a  motive  as  that  of  getting  a  fee  out 
of  them;  and  by  his  advice  a  suit  was  promptly  brought 
against  the  Special  Agent  and  the  two  Deputy  Marshals,  for 
false  imprisonment ! 

The  cause  was  u  set  down”  for  trial  in  the  Marine  Court, 
and  came  off  in  the  course  of  a  week  or  two.  A  waggish 


THE  TRIAL. 


119 


spectator  remarked  that  he  could  not  see  why  it  was  brought' 
in  the  Marine  Court,  unless  it  was  because  the  complainants 
were  “  half  seas  over’7  when  stopped  at  Albany. 

A  very  brief  synopsis  of  this  trial  will,  I  think,  prove  worth 
a  perusal. 

On  the  part  of  the  prosecution,  the  complainants  themselves 
were  the  witnesses — all  three  of  them  genuine  sons  of  the 
Emerald  Isle 

Separate  trials  were  asked  and  granted,  and  that  of  the 
Special  Agent  was  first  taken  up. 

Michael  D.  was  duly  sworn,  but  instead  of  mounting  the 
witness’s  stand,  with  one  bound  and  a  broad  grin,  he  was  inside 
the  Judge’s  desk,  and  seated  in  the  chair  usually  occupied  by 
one  of  tlie  Associate  Judges  !  A  burst  of  laughter  followed, 
in  which  his  Honor,  as  well  as  the  spectators,  joined.  The 
officer  in  attendance  on  the  Court  was  quickly  alongside  of 
Mike,  and  with  considerable  difficulty  removed  him  to  the 
witness’  stand.  Here  he  fixed  his  eyes  intently  on  me,  perhaps 
to  keep  watch'Jlest  I  should  attempt  to  run  away,  considering 
me  his  prisoner  at  last,  and  evidently  chuckling  within  him¬ 
self  at  the  thought  that  the  time  had  now  come  to  put  me  on 
as  limited  allowance,  so  far  as  variety  went,  as  he  had  been 
restricted  to  while  in  Albany. 

Order  being  now  restored,  the  counsel  commenced  interro¬ 
gating  the  witness. 

“  Michael,  were  you  on  your  way  to  Illinois,  from  this  city, 
on  the  20th  instant  ?” 

Witness. — “  Was  I  in  Illinoi  ?  and  sure  I  niver  was  in  me 
life ;  and  if  that  spalpeen  of  an  Agint  beside  ye  says  I  was, 
he  lies,  bedad  he  does  !” 

Notwithstanding  the  loud  calls  of  “stop,  stop,”  by  his 
lawyer,  he  went  through  with  the  sentence,  and  stood,  a  thumb 
in  each  arm-hole  of  his  vest,  looking  defiantly  at  me,  and 
apparently  ready  for  the  next  question. 

The  Court. — “  Now,  Michael,  you  must  not  be  in  such  a 
hurry.  Try  and  understand  what  is  said  to  you  thoroughly, 


120 


A  STUPID  WITNESS. 


I 


before  answering.  I  shall  not  permit  any  indulgence  in  the 
use  of  harsh  names  to  any  of  the  Government  officers,  or  to 
any  one  else  in  Court.” 

Witness. — “And  didn’t  they  stop  me,  and  trate  me  the 
same  as  a  male  thafe,  your  Honor  ?” 

The  Court. — “Well,  that’s  what  we  want  to  find  out;  but 
you  must  not  talk,  only  when  you  are  questioned ;  remember 
that.” 

Counsel. — “  I  will  put  the  inquiry  in  another  shape.  Were 
you  a  passenger  on  board  the  steamboat  for  Albany,  on  any 
night  during  the  present  month  ?” 

Mike  remained  speechless  for  a  moment,  staring  at  the 
Judge  in  the  most  penetrating  manner.  That  functionary 
finally  broke  the  silence, 

“  Well,  why  don’t  you  answer  ?” 

Witness. — “And  sure,  your  Honor,  didn’t  you  just  tell  me 
to  remain  spacheless  when  questioned  ?” 

Court. — “  Only  when  questioned,  I  said.” 

Witness  (to  the  counsel). — “  I  was  on  the  stameboat,  and 
the  Agint  there  knows  it,  so  he  does ;  and  them  other  big 
feeling  chaps  there  (pointing  to  the  Deputy  Marshals)  knows 
it  too.  And  I’d  like  to  see  ’em  try  to  delay  me  in  that  way 
agin,”  at  the  same  time  looking  fists,  if  not  daggers,  at  those 
innocent  officials. 

Here  the  patience  of  the  Court,  as  well  as  the  counsel,  be¬ 
came  well  nigh  exhausted,  and  it  was  suggested  that  Michael 
should  stand  aside  for  the  present,  as  the  same  facts  could  be 
proved  by  another  and  more  intelligent  witness. 

The  new  witness  went  on  to  describe  the  affair  from  the 
commencement,  including  the  detention  at  Albany.  The 
cross-examination,  however,  showed  that  so  far  as  any  “  impri¬ 
sonment”  was  concerned,  it  was  literally  “  false.” 

It  was  shown  that  all  had  the  “  freedom  of  the  city,”  while 
in  Albany,  having  frequently  visited  some  “  distant”  connec¬ 
tions — distant  about  two  miles  from  the  police  station — and 
had  been  well  boarded,  away  from  the  station,  at  the  public 


CASE  DISMISSED. 


121 


expense.  That  in  fact  they  could  have  gone  anywhere  they 
chose,  a  few  hours  after  their  arrival  in  Albany,  or  on  any  suc¬ 
ceeding  day. 

After  listening  to  the  circumstances,  and  the  motives  which 
led  to  the  detention  of  these  men,  and  to  the  testimony  of  one 
of  the  police  officers  at  Albany,  in  relation  to  their  treatment 
while  there,  the  Judge  summarily  dismissed  the  case,  remark¬ 
ing  that,  in  the  first  place  no  “  imprisonment”  had  been 
proven,  and  that,  even  if  it  had,  he  should  probably  have  sus¬ 
tained  the  officers  in  the  discharge  of  what  they  considered 
their  duty,  in  endeavoring  to  ferret  out  and  punish  the  authors 
of  important  crimes  against  the  laws  of  the  land. 

The  trial  I  have  just  described  was  but  one  of  many  inci¬ 
dental  occurrences  which  took  place  in  the  course  of  the 
attempts  made  to  arrest  Pat  R. ;  occurrences,  both  tragical  and 
comical,  which  would  here  find  a  place,  did  not  the  limited 
space  render  that  impossible. 

In  closing  the  history  of  this  case,  it  will  be  sufficient  to 
say  that,  in  the  course  of  our  investigations,  the  innocence  of 
many  suspected  persons  was  established ;  restitution  made  to 
the  sufferers  by  Pat’s  villany,  so  far  as  their  losses  could  be 
satisfactorily  traced  to  him;  and  the  Post-Office  Department 
were  rid  of  one  of  the  most  darirfg  and  unscrupulous  mail 
robbers  that  ever  disgraced  the  service.  He  is  not  even  now 
as  secure  in  his  hiding  place  as  he  perhaps  imagines  himself 
to  be. 

If  there  are  those  (as  there  is  reason  to  suspect)  who  shared 
with  him  in  such  of  the  spoils  as  were  not  recovered,  they 
also,  even  if  they  escape  the  punishment  which  they  merit 
from  their  fellow  men,  will  not  always  elude  the  pursuit  of 
conscience,  nor  avoid  the  retribution  which  she  will  most 
surely  inflict  upon  them. 


11 


CHAPTER  V. 


An  infected  District — A  “  fast”  Route  Agent — Heavy  Bank  Losses — 
Amateur  Experiments— Dangerous  Interference — A  Moral  Lecture 
—  The  Process  discovered  —  An  unwelcome  Stranger  —  Midniglit 
Watching — Monopoly  of  a  Car — Detected  in  the  Act — The  Robber 
searched  —  His  Committal  —  A  supposed  Accomplice  —  The  Case 
explained  —  Honesty  again  triumphant — Drafts  and  Letters  —  A 
long  Sentence — Public  Sympathy — A  Christian  Wife — Prison  Scenes 
— Faithful  to  the  last — An  interesting  Letter. 

The  literary  reputation  of  one  of  the  oldest  and  most  cele¬ 
brated  seats  of  learning  in  New  England,  was  once  temporarily 
overshadowed  by  the  “  bad  eminence”  that  it  attained  in  the 
eyes  of  all  within  a  distance  of  fifty  miles  in  every  direction, 
who  attempted  to  transmit  valuable  matter  through  the  mails. 
The  period  during  which  this  state  of  things  existed,  was  in 
the  months  of  January  and  February,  1854.  Throughout 
those  months  a  fatality  attended  all  money-letters  designed  to 
pass  through  the  place  referred  to ;  the  like  of  which  has  sel¬ 
dom  been  known  in  the  history  of  the  Post-Office. 

As  well  might  one  have  attempted  to  send  a  valuable  letter 

*> 

across  the  Maelstrom,  as  to  get  it  safely  past  the  fatal  point. 
This  point  was  like  the  lion’s  cave  in  the  fable,  into  which 
many  tracks  entered,  but  from  which  none  were  seen  to 
return.  And  the  lion,  whoever  he  was,  had  an  insatiable  and 
indiscriminating  appetite,  for  he  consumed  the  supplies  com¬ 
ing  from  three  or  four  neighboring  counties  in  the  State,  and 
like  a  feline  Oliver  Twist,  continually  u  asked  for  more.” 

The  effects  of  these  numerous  losses,  of  course,  were  not 


PAINFUL  SUSPENSE. 


123 


confined  to  the  vicinities  of  the  sufferers,  but  were  felt  in  remote 
portions  of  the  country. 

But  the  loss  of  money  and  the  consequent  inconvenience, 
were  not  the  only  results  following  this  wholesale  robbery. 
Perhaps  no  series  of  mail  depredations  ever  spread  so  widely 
the  cloud  of  suspicion  over  those  connected  with  the  mail 
service.  All  the  route  agents,  post  masters,  post-office  clerks, 
and  mail  messengers,  whose  spheres  of  duty  lay  within  the 
infected  district;  all  these  officials  felt  the  severity  of  the  test 
of  character,  which  existing  circumstances  applied.  Such  a 
state  of  things  as  that  which  we  are  describing,  often  serves 
as  a  thunder-shower,  to  clear  the  moral  atmosphere.  Half- 
formed  purposes  of  roguery  are,  for  the  present  at  least,  laid 
by;  those  already  guilty  of  peculation  on  a  small  scale  cease 
from  their  operations ;  all  wait  in  breathless  suspense  for  the 
denouement  of  the  drama;  and  when  the  bolt  falls,  and  the 
offender  is  smitten  down,  they  breathe  more  freely ;  and  such 
a  catastrophe  is  not  unfrequently  the  turning  point  in  the  life 
of  some  young  man,  who  has  hitherto  been  vacillating  between 
good  and  evil. 

The  arrest  and  punishment  of  another  inspires  him  with 
salutary  fear  of  similar  results  in  his  own  case,  should  he 
venture  upon  a  like  course. 

-And  the  effect  of  such  occurrences  upon  those  who  have 
never  turned  aside  from  the  path  of  rectitude,  is  no  less 
decided. 

These  are  the  times  that  u  try  men’s  souls.”  It  is  a  hard 
thing  for  one  to  bear  up  for  weeks  and  months  under  a 
load  of  suspicion,  though  conscious  of  innocence ;  but  this  is  a 
still  harder  task,  if  he  has  nothing  between  the  eyes  of  the 
public  and  his  inward  rottenness  but  the  thin  shell  of  a  decent 
and  false  reputation.  No  man  can  know  to  its  full  extent  the 
value  of  a  good  character,  until  he  has  been  through  some 
u  fiery  trial,”  in  which  nothing  but  such  a  power  could  have 
saved  him  from  ruin. 

Yet  those  who  at  the  time  of  which  I  speak,  were  most  firm 


124  “fast”  route  agent. 

in  conscious  integrity,  did  not  escape  the  stings  of  annoying 
suspicions,  and  significant  insinuations. 

“  Could  it  he  a  certain  Route  Agent  ?”  confidentially  asked 
an  officious  individual,  perhaps  quite  too  willing  to  start  such  a 
suspicion,  the  aforesaid  Agent  having,  in  pursuance  of  general 
instructions,  denied  him  the  privilege  of  the  mail  car.  “  I  saw 
him,”  continued  our  virtuous  friend,  't<  sporting  a  fine  turn-out 
only  last  Sunday,  and  they  do  say  that  he  is  rather  fast  for  a 
young  man  on  so  small  a  salary.  It  wouldn’t  surprise  me 
much  if  they  should  find  that  the  trouble  is  there.” 

Unfortunately  for  this  theory,  so  well  founded  on  the  basis 
of  a  Sunday  “turn  out”  and  a  “they  say,”  the  “fast”  young 
man  could  not  have  had  access  to  one  in  a  dozen  of  the  lost 
packages. 

This  is  a  specimen  of  the  endless  surmises  and  conjectures 
that  were  thrown  out  in  the  progress  of  the  affair,  much  to 
the  annoyance  of  numerous  post  masters’  clerks,  and  other 
officials,  whose  honesty,  aided  by  the  strenuous  efforts  of  the 
Special  Agent  to  arrive  at  the  truth,  carried  them  through  the 
ordeal  triumphantly;  and  left  their  accusers,  particularly  the 
man  who  couldn’t  ride  in  the  mail  car,  rather  “  chop-fallen,” 
and  possibly  not  a  little  disappointed. 

The  banks  within  the  infected  district,  suffered  in  the  loss 
of  drafts,  &c.,  to  the  amount  of  at  least  two  hundred  thousand 
dollars,  while  scarcely  a  business  man  in  either  of  the  two 
or  three  cities  within  range  of  the  prevailing  disorder,  escaped 
the  vexatious  and  often  injurious  consequences  of  the  depre¬ 
dations  then  going  on,  for  the  robber  did  not  stop  to  select  his 
booty.  Indeed,  he  could  not  have  done  so,  had  he  wished  it, 
as  the  reader  will  hereafter  see. 

An  investigation  of  the  case  was  ordered  by  the  Depart¬ 
ment,  and  carried  on  with  as  much  energy  as  prudence  would 
permit ;  yet  in  the  midst  of  it  the  robberies  continued  un¬ 
checked.  Hereupon  some  of  the  bank  officers  grew  very  im¬ 
patient,  as  the  victims  of  depredations  are  apt  to  do,  if  they 


AN  AMATEUR’S  DECOY. 


125 


are  not  made  acquainted  with,  every  step  that  is  taken  in  the 
delicate  process  of  narrowing  down  the  investigation. 

When  I  had  been  on  the  trail  for  nearly  a  week,  one  of 
those  gentlemen — an  excellent  financier,  but  by  no  means 
profoundly  versed  in  the  mysteries  of  human  nature — in  his 
imprudent  zeal  to  find  out  something ,  took  matters  into  his 
own  hands,  and  came  near  spoiling  all  by  alarming  the  rob¬ 
ber,  without  detecting  him.  He  prepared  a  sort  of  decoy  let¬ 
ter,  as  he  called  it,  well  filled  with  pieces  of  tissue  paper,  about 
the  size  of  bank-notes,  and  this  tempting  package  he  ad¬ 
dressed  to  a  cashier  to  whom  several  of  the  missing  letters 
had  been  directed.  This  fell  into  the  hands  of  the  robber, 
but  the  experiment  was  rendered  harmless  by  the  fact  stated 
by  himself  after  his  arrest,  that  he  never  stopped  to  read  or 
examine  any  letters,  except  to  ascertain  whether  they  contained 
money.  It  will  never  be  known,  probably,  how  much  good 
advice  the  criminal  lost,  when  he  committed  this  tissue  of  de¬ 
ception  to  the  flames,  for  the  worthy  cashier,  in  his  well-meant 
zeal,  supplied  the  place  of  bank-notes  in  the  decoy  package 
with  what  he  doubtless  considered  of  more  value,  namely,  a 
moral  lecture  to  the  delinquent,  displaying  in  vivid  colors  the 
folly  and  wickedness  of  his  course,  and  closing  with  the  warn¬ 
ing  that  if  he  took  that  letter,  he  would  surely  be  detected ! 

The  ingenuity  and  shrewdness  of  this  device  cannot  be  too 
much  admired.  The  threat  contained  in  the  letter  was  so  well 
calculated  to  throw  the  culprit  off  his  guard,  that  if  he  had 
read  it,  he  would  no  doubt  have  fallen  an  easy  prey  to  such 
cunning  machinations  !  It  was  of  course  expected  by  the  de¬ 
viser  of  this  scheme  that  the  package  would  be  preserved  by 
the  person  who  stole  it,  in  order  to  afford  the  necessary  evi¬ 
dence  of  crime  !  The  pieces  of  tissue  paper  could  easily  have 
been  identified,  and  he  would  naturally  preserve  the  accompa¬ 
nying  document  with  as  much  care  as  Job  was  ready  to  show 
to  the  u  book”  which  he  wished  his  adversary  to  write  ! 

Such  interference  as  this,  with  an  important  investigation, 
is  never  warranted  by  any  considerations  whatever.  The  com- 
11* 


126 


4 


DANGEROUS  INTERFERENCE. 


mander  of  an  army  who  has  laid  all  his  plans  for  surprising 
an  enemy,  would  feel  under  very  slight  obligations  to  any  offi¬ 
cious  friend,  who,  in  his  impatience  and  ignorance  of  the 
course  intended,  should  alarm  the  foe  by  some  hasty  and  ill- 
advised  attack. 

Thus  is  it  in  the  investigations  to  which  we  refer.  Secrecy 
is  all-important  to  the  successful  issue  of  the  plans  that  may 
be  devised;  and  volunteer  services,  especially  from  persons 
destitute  of  experience,  are  quite  as  likely  to  aid  the  criminal 
as  to  assist  those  who  are  endeavoring  to  detect  him. 

This  digression  has  been  made  principally  for  the  sake  of 
protesting  against  such  interference  as  that  above  mentioned, 
and  of  inducing  others  to  abstain  from  similar  unwarrantable 
experiments. 

Notwithstanding  the  uneasiness  of  our  amateur  detective 
officer,  and  the  remarkable  skill  displayed  by  him  (as  he  sup¬ 
posed)  in  that  capacity,  considerable  progress  had  already  been 
made  by  means  much  safer  than  those  which  he  adopted,  if 
not  more  ingenious. 

There  were  but  few  points  to  which  suspicion  could  be  rea¬ 
sonably  directed,  as  there  were  but  few  places  where  the  stolen 
packages  would  have  centered.  Each  of  these  points  was 
closely  watched.  A  section  of  rail  road,  some  thirty-five  miles 
in  length,  over  which  most  of  the  robbed  mails  must  have 
passed,  seemed,  for  a  time,  to  satisfy  the  conditions  of  the 
problem  to  be  solved,  but  this  hypothesis  was  overturned  by 
the  fact  that  on  one  and  the  same  night,  packages  were  taken 
from  mails  which  had  passed  each  other  on  this  road,  in  oppo¬ 
site  trains,  on  separate  tracks,  and  at  a  high  rate  of  speed. 

The  mail  messengers  employed  to  convey  the  mails  to  and 
from  the  several  railroad  depots  at  central  points,  were  care¬ 
fully  looked  after,  but  all  appeared  right  among  them.  And 
as  for  the  post-offices,  there  were  not  more  than  two  out  of  all 
affected  by  the  numerous  losses,  through  which  half  a  dozen 
of  the  lost  letters  would  have  passed. 

There  was  however,  one  man  who  had  not  thus  far  been 


THE  DISCOVERY. 


127 


included  in  tlie  investigation,  chiefly  because  in  the  discharge 
of  his  ordinary  duties  as  baggage-master,  at  a  central  station 
or  junction  where  mail  carriers  were  provided  by  the  rail  road 
companies,  he  was  not  supposed  to  have  even  a  temporary 
charge  of  any  of  the  mails.  But  while  watching  one  of  the 
mail  carriers  on  a  certain  evening,  as  he  was  conveying  a 
number  of  mails  from  a  city  post-office  to  the  cars,  the  Agent 
observed  him  placing  them  in  charge  of  the  aforesaid  baggage- 
master,  prior  to  the  arrival  of  the  train  by  which  they  were  to 
be  forwarded. 

After  they  had  thus  been  committed  to  his  custody,  he  was 
seen  to  throw  them  carelessly  into  his  baggage  room,  and  enter 
the  room,  closing  the  door  behind  him.  After  a  lapse  of 
several  minutes,  he  came  out,  piled  the  bags  upon  a  barrow  or 
baggage  truck,  and  wheeled  them  to  a  point  upon  the  plat¬ 
form,  opposite  which  the  approaching  train  was  to  stop.  The 
unnecessary  operation  of  placing  the  bags  in  the  room,  when 
the  train  was  nearly  or  quite  due,  was  a  very  suspicious  cir- 
_  cumstance,  especially  when  taken  in  connection  with  the  other 
movements  of  the  baggage-master,  and  by  means  of  the 
telegraph  the  post  master  of  a  neighboring  city  was  requested 
to  be  present  at  the  opening  of  that  mail,  to  see  whether 
certain  letter  packages  arrived  which  were  known  to  have  been 
in  the  through  mail  pouch  for  his  office  that  evening.  The 
reply  was,  u  opened  mail  myself,  no  letters  for  this  delivery.” 

An  hour  and  a  half  had  now  passed  since  the  train  had  left, 
and  if  the  mails  had  been  rifled  in  the  baggage  room,  sufficient 
time  had  been  afforded  the  robber  to  have  concealed  or 
destroyed  all  the  direct  proof  of  his  guilt  upon  this  occasion. 
Hence  no  open  action  was  then  taken  in  view  of  the  dis¬ 
coveries  made.  Besides,  there  was  too  much  at  stake  to 
warrant  the  incurring  of  any  risk  on  the  strength  of  these 
facts. 

The  following  evening  the  movements  of  the  suspected 
person  were  again  watched,  the  Agent  having  a  better  knowl¬ 
edge  respecting  the  exact  nature  and  value  of  a  portion  of  the 


I 


128 


•I 


MIDNIGHT  WATCHING. 


1 


contents  of  the  mail  bags  which  were  to  be  forwarded  at  that 
time. 

Upon  this  occasion,  the  train  was  “on  time,”  and  the 
carrier  a  little  later  than  usual,  so  the  mails  were  placed 
directly  upon  the  barrow,  and  wheeled  by  the  baggage-master 
to  an  obscure  part  of  the  depot,  more  remote  from  observation, 
and  less  in  the  way  of  passers,  than  that  where  they  were 
carried  the  previous  night.  After  remaining  there  a  short 
time,  he  rolled  the  truck  and  its  valuable  load  back  to  the 
usual  spot,  in  readiness  for  the  train. 

This  strange  manoeuvre  indicated  still  another  and  a  bolder 
operation,  but  the  probabilities  were  that  he  had  been  foiled 
in  any  attempt  he  might  have  designed  to  make,  by  a  person 
whom  I  saw  following  him  into  his  dark  retreat  to  make 
application  for  baggage,  as  I  supposed,  for  they  both  entered 
the  baggage  room,  and  soon  came  out,  the  stranger  with  a 
valise  in  his  hand.  This  contre-temps  excited  in  my  mind  no 
very  amiable  feelings  toward  its  innocent  cause,  for  I  had 
concluded  to  bring  the  affair  to  a  crisis  at  once,  should  the 
telegraph  report  anything  missing  from  the  mails.  But  the 
dispatch  received  that  evening  was,  “All  right,”  which  con¬ 
firmed  my  belief  that  my  plans  and  those  of  the  baggage- 
master  had  been  frustrated  by  the  stranger. 

Another  train  from  the  opposite  direction,  and  bringing 
mails  for  delivery  at  this  point,  were  due  at  a  later  hour,  and 
as  there  had  also  been  losses  from  those  mails,  I  decided  to 
wait  and  see  what  usage  they  received  on  their  arrival,  which, 
owing  to  heavy  snow-drifts  somewhere  on  the  road,  was 
delayed  till  near  midnight. 

When  the  train  came  in  and  the  baggage  was  disposed  of, 
the  mails  were  all  carried  to  the  baggage  room  instead  of  to 
the  post-office,  and,  after  putting  out  the  gas-lights  about  the 
depot,  the  faithful  baggage-master  returned  to  his  apartment. 

Through  a  small  swinging  window  designed  for  ventilation, 
opening  into  this  room  near  the  top,  I  could  see  a  faint  light, 
and  from  its  unsteady  motions,  which  showed  that  the  lamp 


I 


129 


ON  THE  RIGHT  “  TRACK.” 

from  which  it  proceeded  was  in  the  hand  of  some  one  moving 
it  in  various  directions,  I  concluded  that  the  occupant  of  the 
room  was  rifling  the  mails. 

This  was  an  exciting  moment.  My  first  impulse  was  to  pro¬ 
ceed  at  once  to  the  door,  demand  admittance,  and  charge  him 
on  the  spot  with  the  crime  of  which  I  suspected  him.  But  a 
slight  distrust  of  my  physical  ability  to  cope  with  him  single- 
handed  in  case  of  resistance,  which  would  almost  certainly  fol¬ 
low  if  my  suspicions  were  correct ;  and  the  lateness  of  the 
hour,  rendering  it  improbable  that  I  could  obtain  aid  should 
it  be  necessary ;  these  considerations  prevented  me  from  carry¬ 
ing  out  my  first  intention,  and  when  the  unconscious  object 
of  my  scrutiny  put  out  his  light  and  left  the  depot,  I  went  in 
an  opposite  direction  to  my  quarters,  determined,  however,  to 
give  him  but  one  more  chance  to  continue  his  depredations. 

The  next  night  he  robbed  his  last  mail  bag. 

Obtaining  a  private  interview  with  the  Superintendent  of 
the  rail  road,  I  for  the  first  time  laid  the  facts  before  him,  for 
the  purpose  of  securing  some  assistance  in  the  prosecution  of 
my  plans  which  he  only  could  render.  I  wished  to  provide  a 
place  of  concealment  in  that  retired  part  of  the  depot  where 
the  mails  had  been  taken  on  the  preceding  evening;  and  as 
empty  cars  were  frequently  left  standing  over  night  upon  some 
of  the  unoccupied  tracks,  it  was  arranged  to  leave  a  car  near 
the  place  mentioned,  for  my  exclusive  occupancy.  From  the 
“ loop-hole”  of  this  “retreat”  I  could  determine  with  some 
accuracy  the  nature  of  such  mysterious  movements  as  I  had 
before  witnessed  in  that  vicinity. 

Lest  the  baggage  room  should  be  chosen  this  time  as  the 
scene  of  operation,  and  thus  my  plans  be  defeated,  a  discreet 
friend  was  stationed  near  that  point  about  the  time  that  the 
mails  were  brought  over  from  the  office,  in  order  to  “  head  off” 
the  suspected  functionary. 

For  the  purpose  of  allowing  as  much  time  as  possible,  the 
conductor  of  the  train,  which  was  to  take  that  mail,  had  been 
telegraphed  to  “  come  in  a  little  behind  time.” 


130 


CAUGHT  IN  THE  ACT. 


Certain  money  packages  liad  been. prepared,  and  everything 
being  in  readiness,  I  took  my  post  of  observation  in  the  empty 
car  just  before  the  mails  came  from  the  post-office. 

I  had  not  long  been  stationed,  when  I  heard  the  familiar 
rumbling  sound  of  the  baggage  truck,  and  in  a  moment  more 
the  baggage-master  appeared,  trundling  along  his  load  of  mails, 
and  coming  to  a  halt  upon  the  platform,  within  fifteen  feet  of 
my  watchful  eye. 

That  eye  saw  rapid  work  for  a  few  moments  !  Hasty  passes 
of  the  right  hand  between  the  mouth  of  one  of  the  mail  bags 
(as  it  appeared  in  the  dim  light  to  be)  and  the  capacious  pock¬ 
ets  of  a  sack  over-coat,  showed  clearly  for  what  purpose  the 
mails  had  been  thus  taken  out  of  the  way,  and  the  well-known 
click  of  a  mail-lock  informed  me  that  the  operation  was  con¬ 
cluded,  and  that  the  moment  had  arrived  for  action  on  my 
part. 

I  think  a  rail  road  car  was  never  emptied  of  its  contents  in 
a  much  less  time  than  on  the  present  occasion.  And  my  very 
informal  introduction  to  the  wholesale  dealer  in  goods  in  the 
u  original  packages/7  was  about  as  sudden.  In  fact,  he  had 
hardly  set  down  the  barrow,  after  removing  it  a  few  rods  to  its 
usual  position,  before  I  was  addressing  him. 

In  the  midst  of  the  rifling  process  just  described,  I  had 
seen  him  open  the  door  of  a  small  apartment  near  him,  a  light 
shining  out  for  a  moment  while  the  door  was  open.  And  it 
occurred  to  me  that  an  accomplice  might  be  secreted  there  for 
the  purpose  of  receiving  the  stolen  property.  Accordingly  I 
remarked  that  I  would  like  to  have  him  accompany  me  for  a 
moment  into  this  room  on  private  business,  to  which  he  readily 
assented,  neither  knowing  me,  nor  having  any  suspicion  of 
the  nature  of  my  u  business/7  for  otherwise  he  might  not  have 
so  cheerfully  complied  with  my  request. 

On  opening  the  door  I  discovered  a  person  within,  who  ap¬ 
peared  to  be  wholly  unoccupied,  except  in  smoking  a  cigar. 
Thinking  it  probable  that  he  was  in  some  way  connected  with 
the  robberies,  I  considered  it  prudent  to  obtain  assistance  be- 


A  SUCCESSFUL  SEARCH. 


131 


fore  making  known  the  object  of  this  interview,  and  accord¬ 
ingly  spoke  to  three  or  four  persons  who  had  been  attracted 
to  the  place  by  the  unwonted  movements,  requesting  them  to 
call  one  of  the  police  officers,  some  of  whom  were  generally  in 
the  vicinity  of  that  rail  road  station. 

During  this  delay,  and  in  order  to  prevent  any  attempt  at 
escape,  I  put  a  series  of  questions  to  the  baggage-master,  cal¬ 
culated  to  allay  the  suspicion  which  began  to  be  strongly  indi¬ 
cated  by  his  looks. 

“Did  you,”  I  inquired,  “find,  in  this  morning’s  train  from 

H - ,  a  pocket-book,  lost  there  by  a  passenger  ?  If  we  can 

recover  the  papers,  the  money  is  less  of  an  object.” 

This  seemed  to  relieve  his  fears  considerably,  and  he  replied 
in  a  cheerful  tone, 

“  I  have  found  no  such  thing.  It  isn’t  my  business  to  go 
through  the  trains,  but  this  man’s,”  pointing  to  the  other  per¬ 
son  present. 

“  Ah,  it’s  my  mistake.  Did  you  see  anything  of  a  pocket- 
book,”  I  asked,  turning  to  the  person  indicated. 

“No,”  was  the  answer;  “have  you  lost  such  an  article  ?” 

I  was  relieved  from  the  difficulty  of  this  question  by  a  rap 
on  the  door  from  the  Chief  of  Police,  who  was  the  man  of  all 
others  whom  I  wished  to  see. 

As  he  entered,  I  intimated  to  him,  in  a  whisper,  what  was 
on  foot,  and  then  turning  to  the  baggage-master,  without  any 
preamble  or  formality,  I  requested  him  to  hand  me  the  mail- 
key,  which  he  had  in  his  possession. 

“I  haven’t  any  mail-key,”  was  the  dull  response.  “Very 
well,”  said  I,  “then  we  shall  have  to  search  you.” 

He  turned  pale,  and  remarked,  with  assumed  calmness,  “  I 
suppose  I  know  what  you*want.” 

One  of  the  side  pockets  of  his  over-coat  appearing  some¬ 
what  distended,  I  commenced  my  investigations  with  that. 
The  first  article  that  appeared  was  the  large  package  of  letters 
made  up  that  evening  for  delivery  at  the  neighboring  city, 
before  alluded  to,  and  the  next  dive  brought  to  light  a  heavy 


132 


THE  SUPPOSED  ACCOMPLICE. 


distribution  package  for  the  same  office.  Several  other  pack¬ 
ages  of  less  size  were  afterwards  drawn  forth.  After  the  search 
had  been  completed,  the  culprit  was  hand-cuffed,  and  lodged  in 
jail  within  half  an  hour  from  the  time  when  he  had  committed 
this  last  depredation. 

After  we  had  dispatched  this  part  of  the  business,  we  turned 
our  attention  to  the  companion  of  the  unfortunate  baggage- 
master,  who  had  been  observing  our  proceedings  with  the 
utmost  equanimity,  though  not  without  interest. 

“That’s  rather  hard  on  Ed,”  said  he,  as  the  door  closed  on 
the  culprit. 

“Yes,”  replied  I,  “it  is.  But  I  believe  we  must  search 
you,  for  I  think  you  are  concerned  in  this  affair.” 

“I  never  was  searched  in  my  life,”  said  he,  smilingly,  “ex¬ 
cepting  when  I’ve  searched  my  own  pockets,  and  then  I  never 
found  much.  Perhaps  you’ll  have  better  luck;  at  any  rate, 
it  won’t  hurt  me  to  have  it  tried and  so  saying,  he  laid 
aside  his  cigar,  and  presented  himself  to  undergo  the  ordeal. 
But  nothing  was  found  to  implicate  him  in  any  way. 

I  then  expressed  my  fear  that  he  might  still  be  an  accom 
plice,  as  I  noticed  the  baggage-master  open  and  shut  the  door 
of  the  little  room,  while  rifling  the  mails  that  night. 

An  honest  laugh  followed  this  remark,  and  an  explanation 
was  given  me,  which  satisfactorily  accounted  for  the  suspicious 
circumstance. 

It  seems  that  his  dishonest  companion,  fearing  that  he  would 
come  out  of  the  room  and  detect  him  in  the  act,  had  opened 
the  door,  telling  him  that  he  would  have  to  be  locked  in  till  the 
train  arrived,  and  turned  the  key  on  the  outside.  This  passed 
for  a  joke,  and  the  imprisoned  person  thought  little  of  it,  as 
he  would  have  no  occasion  to  leave  the  room  until  the  train 
arrived,  when  it  would  be  his  duty  to  inspect  the  cars.  It 
also  appeared  that  this  locking  up  trick  had  been  played  seve¬ 
ral  times  previously,  no  doubt  for  a  similar  purpose. 

Thus,  was  an  honest  man  subjected  to  suspicion,  by  circum¬ 
stances  beyond  his  control.  A  satisfactory  explanation  of 


A  HEAVY  SENTENCE. 


133 


them,  however,  was  not  beyond  his  power,  and  his  experience 
goes  to  increase  the  array  of  testimony,  to  show  the  inestima¬ 
ble  value  of  a  clear  conscience  in  all  exigencies  whatever. 

The  key  of  a  private  desk  in  the  baggage  room  was  taken 
from  the  robber,  and  in  this  desk  was  found  about  $40,000  in 
bank  drafts,  checks,  &c.,  and  more  than  a  hundred  rifled  let¬ 
ters,  which,  as  their  post-marks  showed,  must  have  been  the 
proceeds  of  one  or  two  nights’  robbery.  Everything  taken 
from  the  mails,  except  money,  had  been  committed  to  the 
flames,  as  the  criminal  himself  afterwards  confessed.  A  large 
portion  of  the  available  funds  which  he  had  accumulated,  was 
recovered  and  restored  to  the  rightful  owners. 

In  less  than  a  week  from  this  time,  he  was  tried,  and  sen¬ 
tenced  to  the  State  Prison  for  the  term  of  twenty -seven  years . 

The  discoveries  here  detailed,  gave  rise  to  great  surprise 
and  excitement  among  all  who  knew  the  guilty  individual,  for 
he  had  sustained  a  good  reputation  for  sobriety,  honesty,  and 
industry. 

His  innocent  family  received  the  warmest  sympathy  of  the 
entire  community,  which  indeed  they  deserved,  for  the  cul¬ 
prit’s  wife  was  a  sincere  Christian  woman; — a  living  exempli¬ 
fication  of  the  religion  by  which  she  professed  to  be  guided. 

Some  of  the  interviews  at  the  prison  between  her  husband, 
children,  and  herself,  were  painful  to  behold;  yet,  after  the 
first  terrible  shock,  (and  how  terrible  it  was,  can  be  realized 
by  those  only  who  have  seen  a  beloved  one  suddenly  metamor¬ 
phosed  from  a  fancied  angel  into  a  u  fallen  spirit,”)  she  be¬ 
came  more  resigned  to  the  overpowering  calamity  which  had 
overtaken  herself  and  her  children. 

She  had  no  reproaches  for  her  sinning  husband,  nor  did 
she  allude  in  his  presence  to  the  sufferings  which  he  had 
brought  upon  his  innocent  family;  but  her  aim  seemed  to  be, 
to  induce  him,  by  means  of  his  bitter  experience,  to  begin  a 
new  and  a  Christian  life. 

One  day,  when  I  called  to  see  the  prisoner,  in  company  with 
a  gentleman  who  was  anxious  to  learn  the  fate  of  a  package 
12 


134 


A  TOUCHING  PICTURE. 


of  valuable  papers  wliicli  be  bad  lost,  we  found  tbe  afflicted 
woman  sitting  by  her  husband, — one  arm  thrown  lovingly 
around  his  neck,  and  an  open  Bible  lying  in  her  lap.  We 
apologized  to  her  for  the  interruption.  She  looked  up  mourn¬ 
fully,  a  tear  stealing  down  her  wan  cheek  as  she  said, 

u  It  is  no  matter.  I  was  only  reading  to  poor  Edward.” 
Then  looking  at  him  fondly,  she  continued, — u  He  has  been  a 
kind,  good  husband  and  father,  and  hadn’t  any  bad  habits  or 
companions  .that  I  knew  of;  and  I  have  often  thought  that 
if  he  only  had  religion,  he  would  be  perfect.  And  if  this 
trial,  bad  as  it  is,  will  only  make  him  a  Christian,  it  will  be  all 
I  shall  ask.” 

Meanwhile  her  two  little  children  were  thoughtlessly  play¬ 
ing  about  the  door  of  the  cell,  unconscious  of  the  ruin  which 
had  been  wrought  in  the  hearts  and  the  prospects  of  their 
wretched  parents.  The  youngest  one,  while  we  were  there, 
tried  to  play  at  u  bo-peep”  with  its  father,  but  was  imme¬ 
diately  checked  by  the  poor  mother,  who  cried  out  in  an 
agonized  voice,  u  Oh  Eddie,  don’t !  ” 

Ever  since  her  husband  was  sent  to  prison,  this  devoted 
wife  has  visited  him  twice  a  month,  (having  been  furnished 
with  a  free  pass  by  the  officers  of  the  rail  road  which  passes  near 
the  prison,)  and  to  judge  by  the  report  of  those  who  have  an 
opportunity  of  observing  him  every  day,  the  prisoner  has 
commenced  that  Christian  life,  to  which  the  prayers  and 
loving  efforts  of  his  wife  were  designed  to  lead  him. 

Nothing  can  be  said  that  would  add  to  the  force  of  the  les¬ 
son  contained  in  the  facts  here  narrated.  If  a  life-time  of  im¬ 
prisonment,  and  the  blighting  of  the  hopes  and  happiness  of 
loved  ones,  do  not  show  with  sufficient  impressiveness  the  re¬ 
sult  of  crime,  imagination  will  in  vain  attempt  to  supply  the 
deficiency. 

I  append  a  letter  received  by  me  from  the  criminal,  some 
time  after  his  committal  to  the  State  Prison : — 


VOICE  FROM  PRISON. 


135 


W - ,  July  18,  1854. 

Kind  Friend — 

For  I  must  consider  you  as  such,  because  through  your  instru¬ 
mentality  I  have  been  saved,  perhaps,  from  a  worse  fate  than  has 
befallen  me.  I  think  through  this,  I  have  been  taught  to  see  what  a 
sinner  I  am.  I  am  truly  penitent  for  this  crime,  as  well  as  all  my 
disobedience  to  the  just  laws  of  God.  I  mean,  through  the  help  of 
Almighty  power,  to  serve  my  Creator  the  remaining  years  of  my  life. 

It  is  strange  how  I  was  tempted  to  do  that  crime.  I  never  was 
inclined  to  do  evil  or  keep  bad  company.  In  fact,  I  kept  no  company 
hardly,  except  that  of  my  wife  and  little  ones.  Oh !  how  my  heart 
throbs  to  break  loose  and  join  them !  Look  upon  yours  as  you  can 
in  freedom,  and  think  of  me.  It  almost  suffocates  me  to  call  them 
before  me  in  my  mind. 

Oh,  horrors  !  little  did  I  ever  think  such  a  fate  would  befal  me !  I 
cannot  tell  why  I  did  it,  more  than  this — to  pay  my  debts.  How 
they  did  trouble  me — how  should  I  ever  pay  them  ?  But  this  was  not 
the  way  to  cancel  them. 

I  do  not  love  money — not  at  all.  I  never  desired  to  be  rich,  only 
to  be  square  with  the  world.  I  became  indebted  by  inexperience  and 
pride. 

I  would  tell  you  the  little  story  of  my  life,  if  I  could.  My  con¬ 
nections,  except  my  father,  are  pious  people.  My  mother  was  a  good 
Christian,  and  died  in  the  happy  hope  of  Heaven.  She  called  me  to 
her  bedside  about  two  months  before  her  death.  That  was  the  last 
time  I  saw  her  alive ;  and  when  she  parted  with  me,  she  clasped  me 
to  her  bosom,  with  these  words — “My  son,  obey  God  and  meet  me  in 
Heaven !’:  Oh !  how  full  of  meaning,  and  a  mother’s  love. 

But  this  is  too  painful.  I  cannot  write  of  this. 

You  can  imagine  my  feelings  at  this  time.  But  the  evil  tempter 
has  left  me  now,  and  I  pray  to  God,  never  to  return. 

Do  warn  others  of  my  sad  fate,  to  shun  the  road  to  ruin. 

God,  in  his  infinite  goodness,  has  looked  upon  me  with  compassion, 
and  calmed  my  troubles  in  part.  At  least  all  that  I  have  desired,  He 
has  done  for  me,  or  how  could  I  have  lived  ? 

Will  you  not  call  and  see  me  some  time  ?  Don’t  despise  the  thief ; 
Christ  did  not. 

Many  thanks  to  your  kind  heart.  Also  please  thank  the  Govern¬ 
ment  Attorney,  and  the  Post  Masters  of  H - ,  and  N - H - . 

May  God  watch  over  and  preserve  you  all. 

Your  unworthy  servant, 

E.  A.  S - . 


CHAPTER  VI. 


Safety  of  the  Mails — Confidence  shaken — About  Mail  Locks — Import¬ 
ance  of  Seals — City  and  Country — Meeting  the  Suspected — Test  of 
Honesty — Value  of  a  String — A  dreary  Hide — Harmless  Stragglers 
— A  cautious  Official — Package  missing — An  early  Customer — 
Newspaper  Dodge — Plain  Talk — A  Call  to  Breakfast — Innocence 
and  Crime — Suspicion  Confirmed — The  big  Wafers — Finding  the 
String — The  Examination — Escape  to  Canada — A  true  Woman — 
The  Re-arrest — Letter  of  Consolation — The  Wife  in  Prison — Boring 
Out — Surprise  of  the  Jailor — Killing  a  Horse. 

In  our  larger  cities,  and  indeed  throughout  the  country, 
there  are  thousands  of  persons  engaged  in  the  transaction  of 
business,  who  if  called  upon  would  testify  that  in  the  course 
of  their  employment  of  the  mails,  involving  in  the  aggregate 
the  collection  and  disbursement  of  millions  of  dollars,  no  part 
of  their  correspondence,  valuable  or  otherwise,  had  failed  or 
had  ever  been  delayed  through  any  fault  of  the  Post-Office 
Department. 

Such,  up  to  the  year  1849,  had  been  the  experience — an 
experience  extending  through  many  years — of  a  firm  in  North¬ 
ern  New  York,  extensively  engaged  in  manufacturing  and  real 
estate  operations,  which  required  the  frequent  transmission  of 
heavy  remittances  between  their  place  of  business  and  New 
York  City.  For  a  long  time  they  confined  themselves  to  the 
use  of  drafts,  checks,  and  other  representatives  of  money,  but 
as  everything  went  on  smoothly  for  years,  they  finally  remitted 
money  itself,  in  the  shape  of  bank-notes,  whenever  convenience 

(136) 


A  LONG  ROUTE. 


137 


required,  without  bestowing  a  thought  upon  the  insecurity  or 
danger  of  such  a  course;  and  for  a  time  the  prompt  acknow¬ 
ledgment  of  the  receipt  of  the  various  sums  thus  sent  strength¬ 
ened  their  confidence  in  the  safety  of  the  mails,  and  the 
fidelity  of  their  management. 

Therefore  the  rifling  of  one  money  letter  directed  by  them 
to  New  York  caused  but  little  alarm;  but  when  this  was 
followed  in  rapid  succession  by  the  loss  of  the  contents  of  a 
second,  third,  and  even  a  fourth,  they  began  to  think  that 
there  was  “  something  rotten  in  the  state  of” — New  York, 
and  accordingly  called  upon  the  Post-Office  Department  for 
aid  in  ascertaining  the  locality,  and  detecting  the  perpetrator 
of  these  robberies. 

The  losses  could  not  be  attributed  to  misdirection,  or  any 
other  of  the  long  catalogue  of  causes  not  of  a  criminal  nature, 
though  occasioning  much  alarm  and  inconvenience.  For  in 
the  present  case  the  rifled  letters  had  reached  the  parties  ad¬ 
dressed.  They  had  been  opened,  robbed,  and  resealed. 

The  route  over  which  the  letters  passed  was  a  long  one — 
some  four  hundred  miles — and  the  first  look  at  the  case  seemed 
almost  to  forbid  the  hope  of  success  in  its  investigation ;  for  it 
appeared  probable  that  the  robber  might  defy  detection  as 
effectually  as  “a  needle  in  a  hay-mow;”  and  a  belief  of 
this  kind  no  doubt  encouraged  him  in  his  course.  There  was, 
however,  another  fact  in  connection  with  the  matter,  as  will 
presently  be  seen,  of  which  he  was  ignorant,  which  might 
have  caused  him  at  least  to  hesitate  in  pursuing  his  designs, 
had  he  known  it,  for  it  very  much  curtailed  the  limits  within 
which  investigation  was  necessary. 

The  course  of  the  mail  on  this  route  was,  first  to  Ogdens- 
burg,  some  sixty  miles,  by  stage,  the  mail  being  overhauled  at 
each  of  the  intermediate  offices,  eight  or  ten  in  number.  At 
Ogdensburg,  all  matter  for  New  York  was  put  into  a  u  through 
bag,”  which  was  furnished  with  a  brass  lock,  and  not  to  be 
opened  until  its  arrival  in  New  York. 

It  may  be  well  here  to  state  that  two  kinds  of  locks  are  used 
12* 


138 


ABOUT  MAIL  LOCKS. 


in  the  mail  service  ;  the  iron  lock  for  short  distances  and  upon 
routes  where  the  mails  are  frequently  overhauled,  a  key  to 
which  is  in  the  possession  of  all  the  post  masters  and  “  Route 
Agents  •”  and  the  brass  lock,  used  for  greater  safety  only  be¬ 
tween  large  places  and  on  important  routes ;  the  intermediate 
offices  being  supplied  with  their  mail  matter  without  the 
necessity  of  opening  the  through  bag.  Consequently  the 
brass  key  is  in  the  hands  of  comparatively  few  post  masters, 
(only  those  who  are  connected  with  the  offices  where  the 
through  bags  are  opened,)  and  of  none  of  the  Route  Agents. 

The  reader  will  see  from  this  statement,  and  others  hereafter 
to  be  made,  that  the  robberies  were  probably  committed  some¬ 
where  between  the  first-mentioned  place  and  Ogdensburg, 
and  that  thus  it  would  be  necessary  to  pursue  the  investigation 
only  on  the  latter  route,  some  sixty  miles  as  has  already  been 
mentioned. 

The  seals  of  the  rifled  letters  were  important  witnesses  in 
this  case.  In  the  resealing,  uncommonly  large  wafers  of  a 
peculiar  shade  had  been  used,  as  well  as  a  particular  kind  of 
stamp,  which  circumstances  satisfactorily  proved  that  all  the 
robberies  were  the  handi-work  of  one  person,  and  probably  at 
a  single  locality.  The  letters  had  in  each  instance  been 
detained  somewhere  one  day  longer  than  the  time  usually 
required  for  their  passage  over  the  route. 

Now  there  are  certain  features  or  symptoms,  so  to  speak,  in 
cases  of  mail  depredations  which  go  far  to  assist  one  accustomed 
to  their  investigation  in  determining  whether  they  have  oc¬ 
curred  in  large  or  small  post-offices,  and  to  distinguish  with 
tolerable  accuracy,  between  city  and  country  embezzlements. 
A  city  depredator  seldom  if  ever  confines  his  operations  to  letters 
passing  over  a  particular  route.  Indeed  he  could  scarcely  do 
so  were  he  to  attempt  it,  for  in  the  usual  division  of  labor,  a 
dozen  letters  arriving  on  separate  days  would  be  likely  to  be 
taken  charge  of  by  as  many  different  hands,  and  if  letters  were 
passing  each  way  on  the  same  route,  it  would  be  still  more 
difficult  for  the  same  person  to  purloin  from  both,  as  the 


DISHONEST  MESSENGERS. 


139 


receiving  and  forwarding  departments  are  generally  if  not 
always  entirely  distinct. 

Neither  is  it  a  city  symptom  to  reseal  and  replace  a  letter 
after  it  has  been  rifled,  for  the  reason,  among  others,  that  the 
depredator  is  not  willing,  after  having  succeeded  in  purloining 
it,  to  incur  the  additional  risk  of  smuggling  it  back  again. 
While  in  country  or  village  post-offices,  the  thefts  must  in 
most  cases  be  confined  to  one  route,  and  there  is  more  leisure 
and  better  opportunity  for  the  resealing  and  returning  process 

For  similar  reasons,  the  loss  or  robbery  of  a  number  of 
letters  addressed  to  the  same  party  or  business  firm,  although 
arriving  by  different  routes,  would  not  necessarily  place  a  city 
post-office  clerk  under  suspicion,  since  he  could  scarcely  have 
a  motive  for  such  a  selection  among  the  thousands  of  valuable 
letters  coming  into  his  custody.  On  the  contrary,  if  he  were 
disposed  to  be  dishonest,  he  would  be  more  likely  to  take  A/s 
letter  to-day,  B/s  to-morrow,  and  C/s  the  next  day.  Neither 
would  it,  in  the  case  just  supposed,  be  probable  that  there  was 
a  rogue  on  each  of  the  different  routes.  The  theory  which 
experience  and  observation  have  established,  would  be  that 
the  repeated  embezzlements  had  been  carried  on  by  some 
dishonest  messenger  outside  the  office  who  had  in  his  power 
only  the  correspondence  with  which  he  had  been  intrusted. 
At  all  events,  such  a  conclusion  would  be  fully  justified  by  the 
very  frequent  discoveries  of  similar  delinquencies  in  our  cities 
and  large  towns. 

The  peculiar  features  in  the  present  case  showed  quite 
plainly  that  neither  the  New  York  nor  Ogdensburg  offices 
were  implicated,  and  that  the  depredations  had  occurred  some¬ 
where  between  the  latter  and  the  mailing  office. 

An  important  question  now  arose,  namely,  what  postmaster 
between  these  points  used  wafers  similar  to  those  upon  the 
rifled  letters.  Having  entire  confidence  in  the  Ogdensburg 
post  master,  I  requested  him  to  write  to  each  of  the  post 
masters  on  the  suspected  route,  asking  for  information  on 
indifferent  subjects  and  requiring  replies.  One  was  requested 


140 


SINGULAR  COINCIDENCE. 


to  send  a  copy  of  the  post-hill  from  his  office  to  Ogdensburg 
of  a  certain  date.  Another  was  inquired  of  to  know  whether 
a  letter  remained  in  his  office  addressed  to  Timothy  Saunders ; 
another  to  know  whether  there  was  once  a  clerk  in  his 
office  by  the  name  of  Philip  Barton,  and  if  so,  where  he  was 
at  present  residing.  In  this  way  letters  were  obtained  from 
all  these  post  masters  in  the  course  of  a  few  days,  and  the  mode 
of  sealing  was  in  each  case  particularly  examined.  Upon  one 
of  these  letters  the  large  wafer  was  found !  There  was  not 
only  the  kind  of  wafer,  but  the  stamp  identical  with  that  used 
upon  the  rifled  letters. 

For  a  few  days  after  this,  the  exterior  of  all  the  letters 
received  at  Ogdensburg,  and  which  passed  through  the 
suspected  office,  were  carefully  examined  to  see  if  they  had 
been  disturbed.  This  examination  showed  plainly  that  a 
number  had  been  opened,  and  resealed  either  with  the  large 
wafer,  or  by  the  use  of  the  original  seals,  which  of  course 
were  mutilated. 

Careful  inquiry  of  some  who  knew  the  suspected  post 
master,  showed  that  he  was  a  merchant  in  good  standing, 
against  whom  no  charge  of  dishonesty  had  ever  been  pre¬ 
ferred. 

The  next  thing  to  be  done  was  to  visit  a  point  beyond  him, 
in  order  to  pass  decoy  letters  through  his  hands,  on  their  way 
to  the  Ogdensburg  office. 

Accompanied  by  a  citizen  of  Ogdensburg,  whose  services 
I  had  secured  as  a  guide,  I  started  in  a  private  conveyance, 
and  when  we  had  arrived  within  ten  miles  of  the  office  of  the 
big  wafers,  we  turned  into  a  by-road  so  as  to  avoid  passing 
through  the  village  in  which  it  was  situated.  At  a  short 
distance  from  the  village  upon  the  road  aforesaid,  we  saw  a 
sleigh  approaching,  (it  was  the  month  of  December,  and 
capital  sleighing,)  and  as  it  drew  near,  my  companion  re¬ 
marked  that  he  believed  its  occupant  was  Mr.  Willis,  the  very 
person  we  were  endeavoring  to  avoid  !  My  friend  knew  Mr. 
W.  by  sight,  but  was  not  sure  that  Mr.  W.  knew  him. 


ADVENTURES  OE  A  STRING. 


141 


We  concealed  our  faces  as  well  as  we  could  under  the 
circumstances,  and  passed  at  as  rapid  a  rate  as  was  compatible 
with  the  muscular  powers  of  our  Rosinante.  It  afterwards 
appeared  that  Willis  was  out  on  a  collecting  tour  that  day,  and 
that  neither  of  us  were  known  to  him,  nor  had  he  the  least 
suspicion  of  our  business. 

The  mail  which  had  so  frequently  suffered  the  loss  of  its 
valuable  contents,  passed  over  the  route  in  the  night,  leaving 
Fort  Covington  at  about  ten  P.  M.  and  reaching  the  suspected 
office  a  little  before  midnight. 

An  interview  with  the  victim  of  the  former  losses,  resulted 
in  his  preparing  a  letter  containing  one  hundred  dollars  in 
bank-notes,  addressed  to  the  same  New  York  correspondent 
to  whom  the  other  letters  had  been  sent.  A  full  account  of 
the  bills  was  taken,  and  the  letter  sealed  with  a  small  wafer. 
A  post-bill  was  prepared  by  the  post  master  at  Fort  Covington, 
and  the  letter  enclosed  in  a  wrapper  directed  on  the  outside  to 
New  York  City. 

For  the  first  time  it  occurred  to  me  that  the  string  to  be  put 
upon  the  decoy  package,  might  be  made  to  play  an  important 
part  in  supplying  evidence  of  crime.  If  the  letter  should  be 
robbed,  and  then  destroyed  together  with  the  wrapper,  and  the 
money  secreted,  no  proof  of  the  deed  would  remain  excepting 
the  circumstance  that  the  package  went  into  that  office  and 
never  came  out.  But  the  most  cunning  depredator  would 
never  think  of  destroying  a  thing  so  insignificant  as  a  string. 
So  I  concluded  to  make  it  available  in  the  experiment  about 
to  be  tried.  Among  my  notes  of  this  case-,  I  find  the  following 
description — u  A  white  cotton  string,  twelve  inches  long ;  a 
knot  exactly  in  the  middle,  another  an  inch  from  one  end, 
and  another  two  inches  from  the  other,  end, — the  last-men¬ 
tioned  end  dipped  in  ink.” 

The  package,  tied  up  with  this  tell-tale  string,  was  then 
thrown  into  the  bag,  and  we  soon  set  out  on  our  return  in  the 
mail  conveyance.  The  road  lay  for  the  most  part  through 
thick  swampy  woods,  upon  whose  grim  silence  the  cheerfu. 


142 


HARMLESS  STRAGGLERS. 


sound  of  our  sleigh-bells  made  but  little  impression.  Nor  did 
we  possess  any  other  means  for  dispelling  the  gloom  around 
us  than  the  red  glow  of  a  couple  of  cigars,  with  which  we 
resisted  the  encroachments  of  Jack  Frost,  so  far  as  our  noses 
were  concerned.  These  (the  cigars,  not  the  noses)  must  have 
appeared  like  feeble  imitations  of  a  pair  of  coach  lamps. 

We  had  passed  over  about  half  the  distance  through  the 
woods,  when  an  incident  occurred  serving  at  least  to  break  the 
monotony  of  our  ride.  A  dark  object  by  the  side  of  the  road, 
made  conspicuous  by  the  snow  upon  the  ground,  attracted  our 
attention  and  that  of  our  horses,  who  attempted  to  halt,  and 
required  a  smart  application  of  the  lash  to  induce  them  to 
resume  their  pace.  A  moment  after  we  could  distinguish  the 
forms  of  two  persons  stepping  nearer  to  the  middle  of  the  road 
as  we  approached  them.  Not  a  word  was  said  by  either  of  us, 
as  we  were  too  much  engaged  in  speculating  on  the  character 
of  the  unexpected  apparitions,  to  indulge  in  conversation ;  but 
the  driver  had  evidently  made  up  his  mind  to  forestall  any 
nefarious  designs  which  they  might  entertain.  Requesting 
me  to  11  raise  up  a  little,”  he  drew  from  the  sleigh-box  an  in* 
strument  effectual  to  lay  such  phantoms,  to  wit,  a  revolver. 
There  was,  however,  no  occasion  for  its  use,  for  the  personages 
before  us  turned  out  to  be  two  French  Canadians  too  far  gone 
in  intoxication  to  be  very  formidable  antagonists,  had  they 
entertained  hostile  intentions,  which  they  were  far  from  doing, 
as  their  energies  were  entirely  devoted  to  maintaining  a  per¬ 
pendicular  position,  and  keeping  somewhere  within  the  bounds 
of  the  road.  Their  erratic  course  rendered  it  somewhat  diffi¬ 
cult  to  avoid  running  over  them,  but  we  finally  left  them 
behind,  muttering  u  sacre”  and  staggering  about  in  a  very 
social  manner. 

When  we  had  arrived  at  the  village  and  were  within  a 
quarter  of  a  mile  of  the  office,  I  alighted  from  the  sleigh  and 
walked  on,  leaving  it  to  overtake  me,  my  object  in  this  being 
to  keep  out  of  sight  of  the  post  master,  whose  suspicions 
might  possibly  be  excited  by  seeing  a  stranger  in  the  sleigh 


A  CAUTIOUS  OFFICIAL. 


143 


with  the  mail  carrier,  although  the  mail  carriage  occasionally 
conveyed  passengers.  Perhaps  this  was  an  excess  of  caution 
on  my  part.  At  any  rate,  it  did  no  harm,  and  I  prefer  in  all 
such  cases  to  give  a  wide  berth  to  possibilities. 

Once  more  on  our  way,  my  mind  was  chiefly  occupied  with 
conjectures  as  to  the  result  of  that  night’s  experiment,  and  in 
determining  what  steps  were  to  be  taken  in  case  the  money 
package  had  been  abstracted.  The  post  master  himself  had 
changed  the  mails  on  this  occasion,  the  driver  in  the  mean  time 
having  gone  over  to  the  hotel  at  my  request,  in  order  to  afford 
the  former  a  good  opportunity  for  committing  the  depredation 
if  he  entertained  any  such  design. 

The  distance  to  the  next  post-office  on  this  route  was  about 
six  miles,  and  nothing  further  could  be  ascertained  respecting 
the  condition  of  the  package,  till  our  arrival  there.  An  ex¬ 
cellent  account  had  been  given  me  of  the  post  master  at  this 
place,  and  his  assistant.  The  former  boarded  at  the  hotel 
nearly  opposite  the  post-office,  which  was  kept  in  his  store. 
As  he  was  crossing  the  street  with  the  mail  bag  on  his  way  to 
the  office,  I  overtook  him,  made  myself  known  to  him,  and 
under  an  injunction  of  secrecy,  disclosed  to  him  the  object  of 
my  visit  at  such  an  unseasonable  hour.  I  furthermore  expressed 
a  desire  to  examine  the  packages  contained  in  the  pouch. 

“  It  may  all  be  right,”  said  he,  “  but  I  hardly  think  I  ought 
to  allow  an  entire  stranger,  especially  at  this  hour  of  the  night, 
to  know  anything  of  the  contents  of  the  mails.” 

I  was  glad  to  find  in  this  gentleman  such  a  degree  of  cau¬ 
tion  and  faithfulness  to  his  public  trust,  and  I  was  disposed  to 
test  it  a  little  further. 

“  Well,  sir,”  I  said,  “if  you  are  to  obstruct  an  Agent  of 
the  Department  in  this  way,  while  in  the  discharge  of  his 
duties,  you  will  be  reported  at  head  quarters  for  removal.” 

“Can’t  help  that,”  replied  he,  “I  intend  to  go  pretty 
straight  while  I  am  here,  and  if  the  Post  Master  General  him¬ 
self  'Were  to  appear  here  and  want  to  overhaul  my  mails,  ho 


144 


MAKING  A  FIRE. 


couldn’t  touch,  them,  unless  he  satisfied  me  that  he  was  the 
very  man.  That’s  just  as  the  case  stands.” 

“  yeiy  well,”  I  remarked,  “  the  driver  knows  who  I  am, 
and  if  he  says  it’s  all  right,  I  suppose  that  will  do.” 

“Not  a  bit  of  it,”  was  the  decided  answer;  “he  may  be 
deceived  as  well  as  any  one  else.” 

I  now  drew  from  my  pocket  the  official  evidence  of  my 
authority,  bearing  the  signature  of  the  Post  Master  General, 
and  the  seal  of  the  Post  Office  Department.  After  inspecting 
this  document  rather  closely,  the  cautious  officer  observed  that 
there  was  no  mistaking  the  signature  of  N.  K.  Hall,  and  that 
he  believed  he  must  “  give  in.” 

I  expressed  my  gratification  at  the  fidelity  which  he  had 
displayed,  and  in  a  moment  more  the  contents  of  the  bag  were 
spread  upon  the  counter.  A  careful  search,  several  times 
repeated,  failed  to  discover  the  decoy  package.  Its  absence, 
of  course,  showed  that  it  must  have  been  stopped  at  the  office 
which  I  had  intended  to  test. 

I  informed  the  driver  that  I  could  go  no  further  with  him 
that  night,  and  procuring  another  conveyance,  I  returned  to 
look  after  the  stolen  letter,  and  its  dishonest  possessor.  Di¬ 
rectly  opposite  the  post-office  was  the  village  tavern,  and  there 
I  arrived  about  daylight,  intending  from  that  position  to  watch 
the  post  master,  and  introduce  myself  as  soon  as  he  entered  his 
store. 

After  watching  about  an  hgur,  I  observed  some  one  remov¬ 
ing  the  outside  shutters  of  the  store  windows,  and  was  informed 
by  the  landlord  that  it  was  the  proprietor  and  post  master. 

I  deemed  it  important  not  to  be  seen  by  him  until  I  had 
entered  the  store,  when  it  would  be  too  late  to  destroy  or 
secrete  anything  that  he  might  have  taken  from  the  mail  the 
night  previous.  In  this  I  was  successful.  "When  I  opened 
the  store  door,  he  was  stooping  down  near  the  stove,  engaged 
in  preparing  “  kindlings”  for  making  his  fire.  I  came  upon 
him  so  suddenly  that  he  started  to  his  feet  almost  with  a 
spring,  and  looked  rather  more  flurried  than  one  would  natu- 


NEWSPAPER  DODGE. 


145 


rally  be  wlio  expected  to  see  no  more  formidable  a  personage 
than  some  early  customer  for  a  codfish  or  a  quart  of  molasses. 

“  Thus  Conscience  does  make  cowards  of  us  all/'  thought  I, 
as  I  observed  his  futile  attempts  to  recover  his  self-possession. 
After  returning  my  salutation,  he  resumed  the  occupation 
which  I  had  interrupted,  that  of  splitting  up  a  knotty  piece 
of  pine ;  but  in  his  embarrassment  he  endeavored  in  vain  to 
strike  twice  in  the  same  place,  hitting  the  floor  quite  as  often 
as  the  stick  which  he  was  attempting  to  dismember. 

Several  common-place  questions  and  answers  passed  between 
us  while  he  was  thus  engaged.  With  the  view  of  giving  a 
temporary  relief  to  his  nerves,  and  of  ascertaining  what  part 
of  the  store  was  appropriated  to  the  post-office,  (for  there  was 
nothing  of  the  kind  in  sight,)  I  inquired, — 

u  Is  there  a  letter  here  for  Albert  G.  Foster,  Jr.  ?" 

“  No,  there  is  no  letter  in  the  office  for  any  one  of  that 
name,"  replied  he,  apparently  much  relieved  by  the  inquiry. 

u  You  must  have  a  paper  for  me,"  said  I,  u  will  you  look  ?" 
He  dropped  his  hatchet,  and  I  followed  him  into  a  counting- 
room  at  the  further  end  of  the  store,  which  was  devoted  to 
the  postal  department.  The  transient  newspapers  were  ex¬ 
amined,  but  not  a  paper  could  be  found  for  Albert  G.  or  any 
other  Foster. 

By  this  time  the  gentleman  had  nearly  recovered  from  the 
effects  of  my  first  sudden  appearance,  but  the  calm  was  des¬ 
tined  to  be  only  of  short  duration. 

“  Mr.  Willis,  you  have  been  talking  to  an  Agent  of  the  Post- 
Office  Department,  who  has  been  sent  on  here  for  the  purpose 
of  detecting  you  in  your  frequent  depredations  upon  the  mails 
passing  through  your  office,  particularly  the  letters  of  Messrs. 
A.  &  Co.  And  last  night  you  repeated  the  experiment  once 
too  often.  Now  I  want  the  letter  that  you  then  robbed,  and 
the  hundred  dollars  which  you  found  in  it.  It  is  a  shameful 
thing  for  any  one,  much  more  for  a  man  of  your  standing  and 
connections,  to  convert,  as  you  have  done,  a  position  of  public 

trust  and  responsibility  into  a  sort  of  place  of  ambush,  where 

13 


146 


CALL  TO  BREAKFAST. 


you  lie  in  wait  for  the  letters  of  your  unsuspecting  neighbors, 
and  other  members  of  the  community,  and  thus  abuse  the  con- 
adence  reposed  in  you.  It  is  worse  than  highway  robbery.” 

He  gazed  intently  at  me  for  a  few  moments  with  a  look  de¬ 
signed  to  be  -one  of  surprise  and  injured  innocence.  The 
attempt  was  a  miserable  failure,  however.  Conscience  would 
lend  her  aid  to  no  such  cloaking  of  guilt,  but  proclaimed  it 
through  the  wavering  of  his  eye,  the  forced  expression  of  his 
countenance,  and  the  general  agitation  which  he  vainly 
attempted  to  conceal. 

u  That  is  plain  talk,  sir,  very  plain  talk,”  said  he ;  u  and  I 
think  you  cannot  know  much  about  me  or  my  standing  in 
society,  to  come  here  and  accuse  me  in  the  way  you  have 
done.” 

u  Your  standing,”  replied  I,  u  can  have  but  little  to  do  with 
last  mght’s  transactions.  I  must  have  the  hundred  dollars, 
even  f  you  have  destroyed  the  letter )  and  it  is  also  important 
that  i  should  recover  what  you  have  taken  from  the  mails  on 
previous  occasions.” 

u  You  seem  to  be  sure  that  you  are  safe  in  making  these 
charges,  sir,”  said  he ;  u  but  all  you  have  yet  stated  is  nothing 
but  assertion  without  any  proof.” 

Just  then  the  front  door  of  the  store  opened,  and  a  pleasant 
voice  was  heard,  u  Breakfast  is  ready,  father.”  A  sweet  little 
child  stood  in  the  door-way,  and  her  innocent,  careless  face, 
contrasted  strikingly  with  the  anxiety  which  displayed  itself 
in  the  features  of  her  guilty  father.  Would  that  her  voice 
could  have  called  him  away  from  the  course  of  villany  and 
dishonor  which  he  had  taken  ! 

As  her  father  did  not  at  once  reply  to  her,  she  came  skip¬ 
ping  up  to  him,  and  as  she  caught  hold  of  his  hands  and  play¬ 
fully  attempted  to  draw  him  along,  he  looked  at  her  and  then 
at  me,  with  an  expression  that  said  as  plainly  as  words  could 
say  it, — “  Have  you  the  heart  to  come  between  us,  and  destroy 
the  happiness  of  my  innocent  family  ?” 

I  felt  the  force  of  the  appeal,  but  was  impressed  still  more 


INNOCENCE  AND  GUILT. 


147 


strongly  witli  detestation  of  the  conduct  of  a  man  who  could 
deliberately  risk  involving  the  members  of  his  domestic  circle 
in  misery  and  disgrace  for  the  sake  of  enriching  himself  at  the 
expense  of  those  who  had  confided  in  his  integrity. 

“  I  can’t  go  now,  my  dear/’  said  he,  withdrawing  his  hands 
from  hers,  u  I  am  very  busy.  Run  along  and  tell  mother  not 
to  wait  for  me.” 

So  away  tripped  little  Innocence,  joyfully  humming  a  sim¬ 
ple  air,  and  leaving  us  to  deal  with  the  grim  question  before  us. 

I  now  commenced  a  search  among  some  waste  papers  scat¬ 
tered  upon  the  floor  and  one  of  the  tables,  for  the  wrapper  in 
which  the  decoy  letter  had  been  enclosed,  but  I  could  find  it 
nowhere.  I  however  continued  the  search,  hoping  to  find 
the  string,  if  nothing  else ;  and  my  perseverance  was  rewarded 
by  the  discovery  of  the  package  at  the  back  part  of  a  drawer 
in  a  desk.  The  package  appeared  to  be  in  a  perfect  state,  ex¬ 
cept  that  the  string  was  missing.  Holding  it  up,  I  inquired 
of  the  post  master,  u  What  is  this  package  doing  here  ?” 

u  It  must  have  been  thrown  out  by  mistake  in  overhauling 
the  mail  last  night,”  replied  he. 

I  removed  the  wrapper,  and  immediately  found  a  full  con¬ 
firmation  of  my  previous  assertions,  for  the  letter  itself  had 
been  broken  open,  and  the  large  wafer  substituted  for  the  ori¬ 
ginal  seal.  In  fact  it  had  been  served  exactly  like  its  rifled 
predecessors,  and  was  now  waiting  to  go  forward  to  New  York 
by  the  next  mail.  I  also  observed  a  quantity  of  the  large 
wafers  lying  upon  the  desk,  a  few  of  which  I  secured  for  the 
purpose  of  comparison.  The  evidence  of  the  string  now  be¬ 
came  of  little  importance,  but  I  wished  to  find  it  if  possible, 
and  after  a  few  moments’  search,  I  discovered  it  lying  on  the 
floor  behind  the  counter  of  the  store. 

The  probability  is  that  after  the  mail  had  passed  that  night, 
he  took  the  stolen  letter  to  the  store,  and  there  opened  it. 

Against  such  overwhelming  proof  as  this,  it  was  worse  than 
useless  to  contend.  So  thought  the  unfortunate  post  master, 
whose  tone  now  changed  considerably.  He  refunded  on  the 


148 


LIGHT  BAIL. 


spot  the  proceeds  of  the  last  night’s  robbery,  and  proposed  to 
mak°  over  a  portion  of  the  goods  in  his  store  as  security  for 
the  restitution  of  the  amount  previously  purloined,  if  by  such 
a  step  he  could  save  himself  and  his  young  family  (consisting 
of  a  wife  and  the  little  girl  already  referred  to,)  from  the 
crushing  effects  of  public  exposure. 

But  this  tender  regard  for  the  happiness  and  honor  of  his 
family  came  too  late.  Such  considerations,  if  others  are  insuf¬ 
ficient,  ought  to  restrain  one  from  the  commission  of  crimes ; 
and  it  has  always  seemed  to  me  that  when  a  man  in  the  full 
possession  of  his  faculties  can  thus  compromise  the  comfort 
and  peace  of  mind  of  his  innocent  family,  he  deserves  little 
sympathy  or  pity  from  any  quarter,  however  sincerely  he  may 
regret  his  folly. 

Willis  was  arrested  by  a  local  officer,  and  taken  before  a 
.Justice  of  the  Peace  in  that  neighborhood,  who,  notwithstand¬ 
ing  the  efforts  made  to  impress  upon  him  the  importance  of 
Bolding  the  accused  for  trial,  fixed  the  bail  at  a  few  hundred 
dollars,  which  sum  was  readily  furnished  by  responsible  par¬ 
ties. 

As  several  weeks  were  to  elapse  before  the  session  of  the 
Court,  it  was  my  intention  to  re-arrest  him  under  a  United 
States  warrant,  as  soon  as  one  could  be  obtained,  but  during 
the  night  he  made  over  a  portion  of  his  property  to  his  sure¬ 
ties,  and  hastily  filling  a  few  trunks  with  articles  of  clothing 
and  other  personal  property,  he  decamped  with  his  family  to 
Canada,  leaving  behind  a  deserted  home  and  a  disgraced  name. 

As  soon  as  the  crimes  of  Willis  became  known  in  the  town, 
universal  sympathy  for  the  wife  of  the  criminal  was  felt  and 
manifested.  She  was  a  refined  and  accomplished  lady,  con¬ 
nected  with  a  highly-respectable  family  in  a  neighboring 
county,  and  had  endeared  herself  to  all  who  knew  her,  by  her 
kindness  and  other  excellent  qualities.  Like  a  true  woman, 
she  remained  constantly  at  the  side  of  her  husband,  after  his 
arrest;  overlooking  all  his  offences  in  her  devoted  affection, 


THE  RE-ARREST. 


149 


and  palliating  them  to  others  as  far  as  she  could,  on  the  ground 
of  pecuniary  embarrassments. 

Some  weeks  elapsed  before  a  clue  was  obtained  to  his  where¬ 
abouts.  The  deputy  Marshal,  to  whom  this  business  was  in¬ 
trusted,  entered  upon  the  search  with  great  energy,  and  finally 
succeeded  in  arresting  him,  and  conveyed  him  to  Utica,  New 
York,  where  he  was  examined  before  the  United  States  Com¬ 
missioner,  who  held  him  to  bail  in  a  large  amount,  for  trial 
before  the  United  States  District  Court.  Being  unable  to  ob¬ 
tain  this  heavy  bail,  he  was  sent  to  jail  a  few  miles  from  Utica, 
to  await  his  trial.  His  wife,  on  his  second  arrest,  returned  to 
her  father’s  house.  It  was  soon  after  this  that  she  wrote  him 
the  following  letter,  which  was  left  in  the  jailor’s  possession  : 

F - ,  Feb.  5,  1850. 

My  dear  William, 

It  goes  to  my  heart  to  feel  that  we  are  separated,  even  for  a  time, 
and  above  all,  to  think  what  it  is  that  separates  us.  But,  William, 
my  love  for  you  is  such,  that  I  had  rather  you  were  thus  than  dead. 

“  I  ask  not,  I  care  not,  if  guilt’s  in  thy  heart, 

But  I  know  that  I  love  thee,  whatever  thou  art.” 

Oh !  what  strong  temptation  you  must  have  had  to  struggle  with, 
before  you  yielded  to  it !  And  I  know  that  you  meant  to  restore  the 
money  to  those  it  belonged  to,  at  some  time  or  other. 

I  sometimes  find  it  hard  to  elude  Julia’s  artless  inquiries.  She 
wants  to  know  “  why  Father  went  away  with  that  man  and  didn’t 
come  back.”  Poor  child  !  must  she  ever  know  that  her  father  is  in 
a - ?  I  can’t  write  the  word. 

God  forbid,  my  dear,  that  I  should  speak  a  word  of  reproach,  but 
perhaps  I  can  say  in  a  letter  what  I  might  find  it  hard  to  say  if  I 
were  with  you.  I  am  sure,  William,  that  you  have  fallen  into  error 
for  my  sake  and  Julia’s,  but  let  me  assure  you,  from  the  bottom  of 
my  heart,  that  I  had  far  rather  sink  with  you  into  the  depths  of  hon¬ 
est  poverty,  than  rise  to  affluence,  leaving  an  approving  conscience 
behind.  Never  think  of  me  for  a  moment,  I  beseech  you,  as  a  wife 
whose  wishes  must  be  gratified  at  whatever  expense,  but  reckon  on 
me  as  one  who  will  ever  be  ready  to  undergo  any  self-denial  which 
the  adoption  of  a  straight-forward  course  may  involve.  I  reproach 
myself  that  I  had  not  been  more  free  to  confide  to  you  my  views  on 

13  * 


150 


THE  WIFE  IN  PRISON. 


this  subject  before  your  misfortune.  Had  I  done  so,  perhaps  we 
might  have  been  differently  situated  now.  But  the  past  cannot  be 
changed.  The  future  may  be  a  new  life  to  us,  if  we  wish  it ;  and 
shall  we  not  ? 

As  to  the  bail,  I  have  strong  hopes  that  it  can  be  arranged  before 
long.  I  hope  to  be  with  you  as  early  as  next  week. 

Julia  sends  a  kiss  to  Father,  and  says,  “  Tell  him  I  want  him  to 
come  and  see  me  and  mother.”  I  send  the  same  for  myself.  Good 
night,  my  dear,  and  many  good  morrows. 

Your  affectionate  wife, 

Ellen. 

Not  far  from  two  weeks  after  the  committal  of  Willis  to  jail, 
Mrs.  Willis  called  one  day  late  in  the  afternoon,  and  requested 
permission  of  the  jailor  to  spend  the  night  with  her  husband. 
This  officer  was  a  kind-hearted  old  gentleman,  and  the  lady¬ 
like  deportment  of  the  applicant,  whom  he  had  seen  on  former 
occasions,  had  won  his  entire  confidence.  He  made  no  objec¬ 
tion,  and  his  native  gallantry,  and  sympathy  for  the  lady, 
prevented  a  very  thorough  investigation  of  the  contents  of  a 
large  basket  that  she  brought  with  her,  which  presented  to  his 
eye  nothing  but  a  goodly  array  of  such  delicacies  as  are  not 
usually  included  in  a  prison  bill-of-fare.  So  she  was  ushered 
into  her  husband’s  place  of  confinement,  basket  and  all. 

The  jailor  retired  to  rest  that  night  with  the  happy  con-  ' 
sciousness  of  having  done  at  least  one  kind  act  during  the 
day,  and  slept  soundly, — perhaps  more  soundly  than  usual — till 
morning. 

When  going  his  accustomed  rounds,  he  noticed  sundry 
shavings  and  chips  of  a  decidedly  new  and  fresh  appearance 
on  the  floor  outside  of  Willis’s  door.  He  further  noticed  that 
the  door  was  partly  open,  whereupon  he  hastily  entered  the 
room  in  no  small  perturbation  of  mind.  Nor  was  his  disturb¬ 
ance  diminished  when  he  found  that  there  was  but  one 
occupant  of  the  bed,  and  that,  the  fair  lady  whom  he  had 
admitted  the  night  before  !  She  was  apparently  fast  asleep,  and 
although  the  spectacle  was  one  of  a  picturesque  description, 


— 


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KILLING  A  HORSE. 


151 


the  old  gentleman  would  have  derived  much  more  satisfaction 
from  a  sight  of  her  liege  lord.  He  looked  in  all  directions 
round  the  room,  with  the  vague  idea  that  his  prisoner  might 
start  up  from  behind  a  chair  or  table ;  but  no  such  phenome¬ 
non  occurred,  and  the  conclusion  forced  itself  upon  him  that 
he  had  been  made  the  victim  of  misplaced  confidence )  in  other 
words,  that  Willis  had  escaped  by  the  aid  of  his  devoted  wife 
and  her  treacherous  basket.  An  auger,  concealed  in  its 
depths,  had  been  smuggled  in,  and  used  in  boring  off  the  door-  ^ 
hinges,  and  now  lay  on  the  floor. 

u  Mrs.  Willis,”  cried  the  now  indignant  jailor,  u  Mrs.  Wil¬ 
lis,  I  say!”  But  the  slumberer  stirred  not,  and  he  repeated 
the  call  in  louder  tones, — u  Mrs.  Willis,  where’s  your  hus¬ 
band?” 

Rising  up  on  one  elbow,  and  looking  about  the  room,  appa- 
rently  much  confused,  she  replied, 

“  Where’s  my  husband  ?  have  you  taken  him  away  without 
letting  me  know  it  ?  ” 

She  steadily  refused  to  give  any  information  concerning  the 
time  or  mode  of  his  escape,  and  was  equally  careful  not  to 
deny  that  she  furnished  the  means  for  securing  his  exit.  She 
was  therefore  arrested  and  taken  before  an  United  States  Com¬ 
missioner,  charged  with  aiding  and  abetting  the  escape  of  a 
prisoner ;  but  such  was  the  public  sympathy  in  her  behalf, 
that  she  was  discharged  from  custody,  and  no  doubt,  soon  joined 
her  husband,  who  had  proved  himself  so  utterly  unworthy  of 
such  an  affectionate,  devoted,  and  heroic  companion. 

Not  long  after  this  escape,  a  suit  was  brought  in  one  of  the 
lower  courts,  against  a  brother  of  Willis,  to  recover  the  value 
of  a  horse  killed  by  hard  driving  on  the  night  of  Willis’s  dis¬ 
appearance.  It  was  more  than  surmised  that  the  two  circunu 
stances  were  in  some  way  connected. 


CHAPTER  VII. 


Startling  Complaints — Character  against  Suspicion — -The  t-wo  Clerks 

— Exchanging  Notes — The  Faro  Bank — Tracing  a  Bill — An  official 

Call — False  Explanation — Flight  of  the  Guilty — The  fatal  Drug — 

The  Suicide — Sufferings  of  the  Innocent — The  Moral. 

The  close  of  the  year  1839,  and  the  opening  of  1840,  were 
marked  in  the  Post-Office  Department  with  frequent  and 
startling  announcements  of  the  loss,  by  mail,  of  valuable  letters 
from  Southern  Virginia,  and  Eastern  and  Northern  North 
Carolina,  directed  to  Richmond  and  other  commercial  cities 
farther  North. 

These  cases,  as  they  reached  the  Department,  were  duly  pre¬ 
pared  and  submitted  to  the  Special  Agent  for  investigation. 
Search  and  inquiry  were  promptly  instituted.  But  for  a  time 
the  utmost  vigilance  failed  to  obtain  any  clue  to  the  supposed 
embezzlements.  The  cases  of  loss  continued  to  multiply )  and 
at  length  the  Agent’s  attention  was  particularly  drawn  to  the 
Distributing  Post-Office  at  P. 

A  circle  of  numerous  facts  pointed  unmistakably  to  this 
spot  as  their  center  and  focus.  It  was  here  that  the  lines  of 
circumstantial  evidence  from  every  quarter  converged  and 
met  The  post-office  at  P.,  therefore,  became  an  object  of 
Epecial  interest  in  the  eyes  of  the  Agent. 

However,  investigations  in  this  direction  proved  at  first  no 
more  successful  than  elsewhere.  The  high  integrity  of  charac- 

(152) 


THE  TWO  CLERKS. 


153 


ter  for  which  the  post  master  was  distinguished,  and  the  excel¬ 
lent  reputation  of  his  clerks,  stood  like  a  wall  of  adamant  in 
the  way  of  all  evidence  and  all  suspicions. 

The  Agent  seemed  destined  to  he  baffled  at  every  point. 
Yet  a  stern  truth  stared  him  in  the  face,  and  fixed  its  immov¬ 
able  Huger  over  this  Distributing  office.  Every  missing  letter, 
although  reaching  P.  by  various  routes,  had  been  mailed  at 
points  South  of  it  for  points  North  of  it.  Here  they  must  all 
concentrate,  and  here  only.  It  was  therefore  at  this  place  only 
that  all  the  losses  could  have  occurred. 

Several  days  were  passed  by  the  Agent  in  P.  and  the  vicinity, 
quietly  pursuing  his  investigations.  No  person  knew  the 
secret  of  his  business.  He  became  acquainted  with  the  post 
master  and  his  two  clerks,  studied  their  characters,  and  their 
social  circumstances. 

The  first  was  a  man  of  position  and  competence,  whose  honor 
no  breath  of  calumny  had  ever  dimmed,  and  who  could  not 
possibly  have  any  motive  for  periling  the  peace  and  prosperity 
of  his  family  by  a  dishonest  course.  Neither  did  the  unflawed 
respectability  of  the  clerks  betray  any  chink  or  crevice  in  which 
to  harbor  a  doubt. 

The  elder  of  these,  and  the  superior  in  the  office,  was  a 
young  man  of  education  and  refinement.  We  will  call  his  name 
Carleton.  His  face  was  frank,  his  eye  steady  and  clear,  his 
manners  always  self-possessed  and  easy.  The  Agent  liked 
and  admired  him  from  the  first.  He  learned  too  that  he  was 
a  favorite  with  all  who  knew  him — that  his  connections  were 
among  the  first  families  in  the  State;  and  that  by  his  talents 
and  high-toned  generous  impulses,  he  had  so  far  nobly  sustained 
the  lustre  of  his  family  name. 

Another  circumstance  was  greatly  in  Carleton’s  favor.  Al¬ 
though  descended  from  the  “  aristocracy,”  the  fortunes  of  his 
family  had  run  somewhat  low  in  the  later  generations ;  and 
now,  his  father  being  dead,  he  devoted  himself  zealously  to  the 
maintenance  of  his  aged  mother,  and  the  education  and  sup¬ 
port  of  his  only  sister. 


.  I 


154  THE  SUBJECT  BROACHED. 

The  junior  clerk  was  a  youth  of  minor’pretensions.  He  was 
uniformly  retiring  in  his  manners.  Although  by  no  means  a 
person  of  forbidding  aspect,  there  was  something  measured  and 
guarded  in  his  movements,  far  less  prepossessing  than  the  free 
and  chivalrous  bearing  of  Carleton.  This  apparent  prudence 
might  arise  from  various  causes.  The  Agent  could  not  believe 
that  it  was  the  result  of  a  secretive  and  dishonest  disposition. 
If  such  was  the  case,  however,  that  same  discretion  had  effec¬ 
tually  succeeded  in  covering  the  poverty  of  his  moral  charac¬ 
ter  from  public  scrutiny. 

Foiled  at  every  point  where  he  attempted  to  hang  the  sad 
burden  of  criminal  facts,  the  Agent  resolved  upon  striking  a 
bold  and  hazardous  blow.  He  sought  a  private  interview  with 
Carleton. 

“  Ho  you  know,”  said  he,  “  that  I  am  here  on  very  delicate 
and  peculiar  business  ?” 

“  I  had  not  thought  of  such  a  thing,”  replied  Carleton. 

“Well,  sir,  I  will  tell  you.  I  am  convinced  that  you  are 
the  very  man  to  assist  me.  If  you  will,  you  may  do  me  and 
the  Post-Office  Department  a  signal  service.” 

“  I  do  not  understand  you.” 

“  No,  but  you  will.  First,  however,  give  me  your  pledge 
that  what  I  have  to  divulge  shall  be  held  in  strictest  confidence 
and  honor  by  you.” 

“  Certainly,”  said  Carleton,  “  if  you  wish  it.” 

The  Agent  then  stated  the  business  that  had  brought  him 

to  P - .  Carleton  expressed  some  surprise,  but  cheerfully 

promised  to  afford  the  Department  any  assistance  and  infor¬ 
mation  in  his  power. 

“Have  you  mentioned  the  subject  to  Mr.  B.  ?”  he  asked. 

“  Not  yet ;  he  is  the  nominal  post  master,  it  is  true,  but  you 
have  a  far  more  intimate  knowledge  of  the  details  of  the  office 
than  he  has.  I  have  another  reason  for  not  speaking  with  him. 
I  dislike  to  disturb  his  confidence  until  the  establishment  of 
strong  proof  renders  it  my  duty  to  do  so.” 


EXCHANGING  NOTES. 


155 


“  You  can  speak  to  me  witli  perfect  plainness/’  said  Carle- 
ton. 

“I  trust  so/’  replied  the  Agent.  u  And  I  am  sure  you  will 
do  all  you  can  to  set  me  right,  if  I  am  going  wrong.  Nor  will 
you,  I  am  convinced,  suffer  me  to  injure  an  innocent  person 
in  your  estimation.  To  come  to  the  point,  then,  I  wish  you 
to  open  your  inmost  thoughts,  and  tell  me  if  you  regard  it  as 
possible  that  your  fellow-clerk  can  be  guilty  of  these  depreda¬ 
tions  upon  the  mails.” 

u  You  shock  me,”  said  Carleton,  not  without  emotion. 

u  Speak  freely,”  continued  the  Agent. 

“  Why,  I  could  almost  as  soon  think  of  suspecting  Mr.  B. 
himself,”  exclaimed  the  other.  “I  believe  Howard  to  be 
perfectly  honest.” 

“  Certainly,  I  know  nothing  to  the  contrary ;  and  I  sincerely 
hope  your  judgment  is  well  founded.  But,”  continued  the 
Agent,  u  our  public  duty  should  not  be  altogether  biassed  by 
private  opinion.  You  will  not,  therefore,  fail  to  unite  with  me 
m  tracing  the  embezzlements  to  their  true  source,  no  matter 
at  whose  door  the  blame  may  be  laid.” 

“I  will  do  all  in  my  power,”  said  Carleton.  u Although  I 
would  be  almost  willing  to  pledge  my  own  reputation  that  the 
losses  have  occurred  outside  of  the  office,  I  will  use  every  exer¬ 
tion  to  discover  any  dereliction  from  duty  that  may  come  within 
my  sphere  of  observation.” 

The  Agent  expressed  his  thanks  for  the  clerk’s  ready  pro¬ 
mise  of  cooperation,  and  took  his  leave. 

Meanwhile  he  did  not  neglect  other  measures  that  he  had 
adopted  for  tracing,  the  robberies.  By  a  singular  coincidence* 
within  an  hour  after  this  conversation  with  Carleton,  he  was 
able  to  seize  a  certain  clue,  which  he  had  long  been  in  search 
of,  and  despaired  of  obtaining. 

On  his  return  to  the  hotel,  the  landlord  thus  addressed  him  : 

“  You  asked  me  if  I  could  give  you  any  more  large  bills,  in 
exchange  for  small  ones.  I  think  I  can  accommodate  you  this 


156 


THE  FARO  BANK. 


morning.  I  have  a  one  hundred  dollar  bank-note,  which,  if 
you  are  sending  money  by  mail,  will  be  very  convenient.” 

“  Thank  you,”  replied  the  Agent;  “it  will  be  a  great  ac¬ 
commodation.” 

The  landlord  passed  the  bank-note  over  the  counter.  One 
can  imagine  the  Agent’s  secret  triumph  on  discovering,  at  last, 
one  of  the  very  bills  he  was  in  search  of,  one  that  had  been 
lost  in  a  letter  passing  that  post-office  only  a  week  before; 
and  of  which  he  had  an  accurate  description  from  the  Depart¬ 
ment. 

Having  made  the  purchase,  he  held  the  bank-note  up  to  the 
light. 

“  I  suppose  you  will  warrant  this  paper  to  be  genuine  ?”  he 
suggested. 

“  There  is  no  doubt  about  it,  sir,”  said  the  landlord. 

u  Of  course  you  know  from  whom  you  had  it  ?” 

“  To  be  sure  !  I  took  it  of  one  of  my  boarders  this  morning, 
Captain  Wilkins.” 

u  I  have  no  doubt  but  the  bill  is  good,”  said  the  Agent, 
putting  it  in  his  pocket.  “  You  are  sure  you  had  it  of  the 
Captain  ?” 

“0,  yes  !  ’twasn’t  an  hour  ago  he  gave  it  to  me.” 

u  By  the  way,  who  is  this  Captain  Wilkins  ?  He’s  a  very 
gentlemanly-appearing  fellow.” 

11 0,  he’s  a  capital  fellow  !”  said  the  landlord. 

u  What’s  his  business  ?” 

“  He  keeps  a  faro  bank.” 

To  a  Northern  reader,  the  two  clauses  of  this  statement  may 
seem  inconsistent  with  each  other.  But  allowance  must  be 
made  for  the  freedom  of  Southern  manners  and  society.  To 
bet  at  a  faro  bank  is  considered  no  serious  stain  upon  the 
honor  and  respectability  of  gentlemen  in  Southern  cities.  The 
keeper  of  a  faro  bank  may  pass,  as  we  have  seen,  for  a 
u  capital  fellow.”  But  the  Agent  felt  pained  to  know  from 
what  source  the  landlord  had  obtained  the  bill.  Already  a 
dark  picture  of  temptation  and  crime  arose  before  his  eyes 


TRACING  A  BILL. 


157 


It  is  a  significant  and  too  often  a  tragical  word — tlie  Faro 
Bank ! 

Captain  Wilkins  had  gone  to  ride.  The  Agent  pretended 
to  transact  a  little  business,  mailed  two  or  three  letters,  and 
read  the  newspapers  until  his  return.  The  rattling  of  a  light¬ 
wheeled  buggy  before  the  hotel  steps  announced  the  expected 
arrival. 

Captain  Wilkins — a  soberly-dressed  and  polite  individual, 
whom  one  might  have  taken  for  a  clergyman — stepped  out  of 
the  vehicle,  accompanied  by  a  friend,  pulled  off  his  driving- 
gloves  as  he  entered  the  house,  and  lighted  a  fresh  cigar  at 
the  bar- 

The  Agent  took  an  early  occasion  to  accost  him. 

“  Can  I  speak  with  you  a  moment  ?” 

“  Certainly,”  said  Captain  Wilkins.  The  two  walked  aside 
together.  The  Agent  exhibited  the  bank-note. 

“  Did  you  ever  see  that  paper  before  ?” 

“Yes,  and  very  recently.  I  passed  it  with  the  landlord 
this  morning.” 

“  As  the  hill  is  of  so  high  a  denomination,  you  probably 
remember  from  whom  you  received  it  ?” 

“  Perfectly  well.  I  had  it  last  night  from  one  of  the  post- 
office  clerks,  who  was  betting  at  my  bank,  and  for  whom  I 
changed  it.” 

“  May  I  ask  from  which  one  ?” 

“  0,  from  Carleton.  He  is  a  reliable  fellow.  Have  you  any 
doubts  about  the  hill  ?” 

“  No,  if  you  are  sure  you  had  it  of  Carleton.” 

“  I  am  sure  of  that.” 

“  You  could  swear  to  it  as  the  identical  bank-note  ?”  Cap¬ 
tain  Wilkins  glanced  at  the  paper  again. 

“It’s  the  identical  rag,”  said  he;  “I  can  take  my  oath 
of  it.” 

This  startling  revelation  gave  a  different  phase  to  the  busi¬ 
ness.  The  finger  of  discovery  seemed  to  point  directly  at  the 
senior  clerk.  Again  the  Agent,  on  leaving  Wilkins,  recalled 

Carleton’s  every  look  and  word,  in  the  conversation  he  had  with 

14 


158 


VISIT  TO  THE  FAMILY. 


him  that  morning.  He  could  not  recall  the  faintest  indica¬ 
tion  of  guilt.  And  he  could  not  but  hope  that  the  young  man 
was  as  innocent  as  he  appeared ;  and  that  circumstances  would 
prove  him  so.  However,  there  was  no  way  left  but  to  follow 
the  thread  of  evidence  he  had  so  far  successfully  traced. 

He  strolled  towards  the  post-office,  and  found  Howard  there 
alone. 

“  Where  is  your  brother-clerk  ?”  he  asked. 

“  He  went  to  dinner  about  five  minutes  ago, — rather  earlier 
than  usual.” 

“Very  well;  perhaps  you  can  do  my  business  for  me.  I 
mailed  a  letter  here  this  morning,  which  I  would  like  to  re¬ 
cover  from  the  mails,  if  it  has  not  already  gone  out.”  A  des¬ 
cription  of  the  letter  was  given.  All  this  was  done  to  prevent 
Howard  from  suspecting  the  Agent’s  real  business  with  Carle- 
ton.  The  letter  had  gone,  as  the  inquirer  well  knew,  and  he 
left  the  office. 

But  now  his  pace  was  quickened.  He  knew  not  what  might 
be  the  result  of  his  interview  with  Carleton.  It  was  a  signifi¬ 
cant  fact  that  he  had  gone  to  dinner  at  an  earlier  hour  than 
usual.  If  guilty,  what  more  natural  than  that  he  should  take 
that  opportunity  of  destroying  any  evidence  of  his  guilt  to  be 
found  among  his  papers  at  home  ? 

The  Agent  had  already  learned  where  Carleton  lived,  and  he 
hastened  at  once  to  his  house. 

The  young  man’s  mother  received  him  in  a  truly  lady-like 
and  hospitable  manner. 

“  He  just  came  in,”  said  she,  graciously.  “  Sit  down,  I  will 
have  him  called.  He  remarked  that  he  had  some  trifling  affair 
to  attend  to  before  dinner,  and  immediately  went  to  his  cham¬ 
ber.  You  may  speak  to  him,  Sarah.” 

“  I  have  only  a  word  to  say  to  him,”  replied  the  visitor 
11  Perhaps  it  will  be  as  well  for  me  to  go  to  his  room,  instead 
of  calling  him  down.” 

“  As  you  please.  My  daughter  will  show  you  the  way.” 

Sarah,  a  beautiful  and  stately  girl  of  eighteen,  conducted 


CARLETON  AT  HOME. 


159 


tlie  caller  to  her  brother’s  chamber,  and  knocked  at  the  door. 
Presently  Carleton  appeared.  A  slight  paleness  overspread  his 
features  on  recognising  the  Agent,  but  without  losing  his  self- 
possession,  he  invited  him  to  enter  the  chamber. 

“  I  have  strange  feelings  on  seeing  you !”  he  observed  in  a 
very  natural  tone  of  voice.  “What  you  said  to  me  about 
Howard,  has  troubled  me  more  than  I  would  have  thought  it 
possible.  Take  a  seat.  Do  you  smoke  ?” 

“  Not  before  dinner,”  replied  the  Agent.  He  made  a  rapid 
observation  of  the  chamber,  as  he  sat  down.  “You  are  very 
comfortably  situated  here.” 

“I  have  nothing  to  complain  of.  We  live  rather  humbly, 
but  we  are  not  ambitious.” 

Carleton  then  spoke  of  his  mother  and  sister,  in  a  man¬ 
ner  which  touched  his  visitor  deeply.  Could  it  be  possible, 
thought  the  latter,  that  he  was  destined  to  destroy  the  peace 
of  that  happy  family  ?  He  shrank  with  indescribable  repug¬ 
nance  from  the  performance  of  his  duty;  but  it  inexorably 
urged  him  to  finish  what  he  had  begun,  and  he  produced  the 
fatal  bank-note. 

“  Not  to  detain  you,”  said  he,  “  I  have  some  question  in 
my  mind  with  regard  to  a  bill  I  took  this  forenoon.  I  have 
been  referred  to  you  as  the  person  who  passed  it.  Will  you 
see  if  you  recognise  it  ?” 

Again  the  swift  pallor  swept  over  Carleton’ s  face ;  but  this 
time  it  was  more  marked  than  before,  and  his  fingers  trembled 
as  he  examined  the  bill. 

“  Certainly,”  said  he,  “  I  recognise  it.  It’s  a  note  I  changed 
with  Captain  Wilkins  last  night.” 

“  It  also  happens,”  observed  the  Agent,  “  to  be  a  note  which, 
according  to  an  accurate  description  I  have  of  it,  was  recently 
lost  in  the  Southern  mails.  This  is  as  painful  to  me,  Mi 
Carleton,  as  it  is  unexpected;  and  I  hope  you  will  be  able 
satisfactorily  to  account  for  the  manner  in  which  you  obtained 
this  money.” 

“It  is  still  more  painful  to  me  than  it  can  be  to  you,”  re 
plied  Carleton  ;  “  and  heaven  knows  I  heartily  wish  I  could 


180 


FALSE  EXPLANATION. 


not  tell  how  that  hill  came  into  my  possession.  I  remembered 
it,  after  yon  left  me  this  morning ;  and  I  had  a  presentiment 
that  trouble  would  come  out  of  it.  I  am  afraid,  sir,”  Carle  - 
ton  added,  after  some  hesitation, — “  I  am  afraid  your  suspi¬ 
cions  of  Howard  will  prove  too  well  founded  !” 

“  Do  you  mean  to  say,  that  Howard  is  responsible  for  that 

bill  r 

“  1  will  tell  you  all  I  know  about  it,  sir.  I  yesterday  sold 
a  colt  I  had  been  training  the  past  season.  He  proved  too 
high-spirited  for  our  use,  and  I  preferred  to  own  a  horse  my 
mother  and  sister  would  not  be  afraid  to  ride  after.  I  sold  it 
to  a  neighbor  of  ours,  Mr.  Fellows.  He  was  to  pay  me  one 
hundred  dollars  down, — and  this  is  the  money  he  gave  me.” 

Carleton  hesitated.  The  Agent  begged  him  to  proceed,  as 
no  time  was  to  be  lost. 

“  I  was  trying  to  recall  the  conversation  that  passed  between 
Mr.  Fellows  and  myself.  It  was  to  this  effect : 

“ ‘  Fd  quite  as  lief  you  would  give  me  small  bills,  if  conve¬ 
nient/  said  I,  ‘  for  I  shall  have  several  little  sums  to  pay  out 
of  this  in  a  day  or  two/ 

“  He  replied  that  he  could  do  no  better  by  me,  and  added 
that  he  thought  Howard  would  like  to  change  it  for  me. 
‘  How  so  ?’  said  I. 

“ ‘  You  remember/  said  he,  ‘that  Howard  bought  a  house 
lot  of  me,  some  time  ago.  The  last  payment  came  due  yes¬ 
terday.  He  seemed  reluctant  to  part  with  this  bill,  and  said 
if  I  would  wait,  he  would  give  me  specie  for  it  in  a  day  or 
two/  Something  more  was  said  about  Howard’s  good  luck  in 
making  payments  for  the  house  lot,  so  promptly,  and  so  we 
parted.” 

“  Where  will  I  find  this  Mr.  Fellows  ?”  asked  the  Agent. 

“  I  saw  him  not  ten  minutes  ago  enter  a  store  in  the  vil¬ 
lage.” 

“You  are  sure  he  will  corroborate  your  statement  ?’ 

‘There’s  no  doubt  of  it.  He’s  a  plain,  practical  man,  who 
tells  a  straight-forward  story.” 


FLIGHT  OF  THE  GUILTY 


161 


c<  Come,  then,”  said  the  Agent,  u  we  will  go  and  find 

him.” 

Carleton  readily  assented,  and  the  two  left  the  chamber. 
u  I’ve  a  little  business  to  transact  before  dinner,  mother,” 
said  the  young  man,  as  they  passed  out.  u  If  I  am  not  back 
in  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  do  not  wait  for  me.” 

But  little  difficulty  was  experienced  in  finding  Mr.  Fellows. 
He  was  such  a  person  as  Carleton  had  described;  but  he 
turned  out  to  be  very  deaf,  and  the  Agent  deemed  it  expe- 
dient  to  retire  with  him  and  Carleton  to  some  secure  place, 
where  their  loud  talking  would  not  be  overheard.  The  clerk 
proposed  that  they  should  make  use  of  the  private  room  of 
the  post-office.  The  Agent  readily  agreed  to  this,  for  he  was 
somewhat  anxious  to  make  sure  of  Howard ;  and  he  now 
resolved  that  the  latter  should  be  present  at  the  interview. 
This  plan  was  also  proposed  by  Carleton,  and  when  they  had 
arrived  at  the  post-office,  the  senior  clerk  informed  the  junior, 
in  a  low  and  serious  tone,  that  his  presence  was  requested  in 
the  private  apartment. 

u  But  who  will  attend  in  the  office  ?”  asked  Howard. 
u  I’ll  speak  to  one  of  the  clerks  in  the  store ;  they  accom¬ 
modate  us  very  often  in  this  way,”  Carleton  added,  addressing 
the  Agent.  “  It’s  only  around  the  corner.” 

The  thought  struck  the  Agent  that  it  would  be  safe  enough 
to  accompany  Carleton.  But  to  do  so,  it  would  be  necessary 
to  leave  Howard,  who,  if  guilty,  might  by  this  time  have  sus¬ 
pected  the  danger  at  hand.  Besides,  it  seemed  not  at  all 
probable  that  Carleton  could  have  any  motive  for  attempting 
an  escape.  His  position  in  society,  his  family  circumstances, 
his  frank  and  manly  demeanor, — everything  tended  to  disarm 
suspicion.  Furthermore,  nothing  could  be  more  satisfactory 
than  the  story  he  had  related  of  the  manner  in  which  he  ob¬ 
tained  the  fatal  bill.  He  was  accordingly  suffered  to  leave  the 
office.  As  there  were  persons  passing  in  and  out,  the  Agent 
did  not  consider  it  proper  to  broach  the  important  subject  until 
Carleton’ s  return. 

14* 


162 


THE  FATAL  DRUG. 


But  some  minutes  passed,  and  lie  did  not  reappear. 

“  I  thought  he  said  he  had  only  to  go  around  the  corner,” 
said  the  Agent. 

“  It  is  probable,”  Howard  replied,  “  that  the  boys  have 
gone  to  dinner.  In  that  case,  if  your  business  is  important, 
he  has  possibly  gone  to  call  the  post  master  himself.” 

A  quarter  of  an  hour  passed.  Carleton  had  had  time  to 
walk  to  Mr.  B.’s  house  and  back,  but  still  he  did  not  make 
his  appearance.  The  Agent  grew  uneasy.  He  waited  five 
minutes  longer,  then  resolved  upon  a  decisive  step. 

“  Mr.  Fellows,”  he  cried,  in  the  deaf  gentleman’s  ear, 
“  did  you  ever  see  that  bill  before  ?”  Fortunately,  Mr.  Fel¬ 
lows’  sight  was  good,  though  his  hearing  was  bad.  He  ex¬ 
amined  the  paper  without  spectacles,  and  decided  at  once  that 
he  then  and  there  saw  it  for  the  first  time. 

“  Did  you  not  buy  a  horse  of  Carleton  yesterday  ?” 

“No,”  said  Mr.  Fellows;  “I  have  talked  of  selling  his 
mother  a  pony,  but  I  never  bought  anything  of  him.” 

The  truth  flashed  upon  the  Agent’s  understanding.  For 
his  credit  let  it  be  declared,  Carleton  had  played  his  game 
with  a  consummate  art  that  would  have  deceived  “  the  very 
elect.” 

No  time  was  lost  in  obtaining  traces  of  the  young  man’s 
flight.  The  Agent  judged  rightly,  from  his  character,  that 
he  would  not  attempt  to  leave  town.  He  anticipated  a  more 
melancholy  fate  for  the  unhappy  youth.  Some  inward  prompt¬ 
ing  seemed  to  direct  him  to  an  apothecary’s  shop  not  many 
doors  distant,  and  on  inquiry  he  learned  that  Carleton  had  just 
been  there. 

“  Which  way  did  he  go  ?” 

“  In  fact,  I  am  not  certain  he  has  gone,”  said  the  druggist. 
“  He  purchased  some  medicines,  remarking  that  he  wished  to 
write  out  some  directions  for  its  use,  and  stepped  into  the  back 
room.  I  have  been  very  busy,  and  he  may  have  passed  out 
without  my  seeing  him.” 


THE  SUICIDE. 


I  Go 


The  Agent  sprang  forward.  The  door  was  loched  upon  the 
inside. 

“  What  medicine  did  you  sell  him  V ’  asked  the  Agent. 

u  Oh !  you  needn’t  be  alarmed,  he  has  studied  medicine, 
and  knows  how  to  use  these  things.” 

u  He  knows  how  to  use  them  too  well !  This  door  must  be 
forced.  His  life  depends  upon  it, — if  it  is  not  already  too 
late !” 

Too  late,  indeed,  it  was  ! 

On  breaking  into  the  room,  Carleton  was  found  lying  upon 
the  floor,  with  an  empty  vial  beside  him,  and  an  unfinished 
letter  to  his  sister  on  the  table. 

In  that  letter  he  confessed  his  guilt,  and  besought  his  sister 
not  only  to  support  the  mortal  affliction  he  had  brought  upon 
her,  with  fortitude,  but  also  to  sustain  and  console  their  mother. 
The  young  man  was  not  yet  dead.  Medical  assistance  was 
speedily  procured,  but  all  efforts  to  save  his  life  proved  una¬ 
vailing.  He  was  already  past  consciousness,  and  never  spoke 
again. 

A  veil  should  be  drawn  to  exclude  the  scene  of  horror, 
agony,  and  distress  that  awaited  his  family.  The  broken¬ 
hearted  mother  survived  the  tragical  interruption  of  her  late 
happy  days  but  a  few  months.  And  though  the  sister  was 
afterwards  happily  married,  it  is  said  that,  from  the  date  of 
her  brother’s  disgraceful  end,  a  continual  cloud  of  melancholy 
rested  upon  her  mind  during  the  remainder  of  her  life.  She 
has  since  passed  into  that  land  where  kindred  souls  are  des¬ 
tined  to  meet  again ;  and  these  allusions  to  her  sad  family  his 
tory  will  give  her  no  pain. 

The  secret  of  Carleton’s  lapse  from  virtue  is  soon  told ;  and 
the  lesson  is  one  that  every  youth,  who  considers  himself 
secure  from  temptation,  should  heed  and  carefully  remember. 
The  devil  never  boldly  enters  the  citadel  of  rectitude,  at  the 
outset.  He  first  walks  around,  and  passes  by;  then  holds  a 
parley,  and  u  makes  the  worse  appear  the  better  reason and 
ends  by  gaining  permission  to  walk  in  just  once ,  promising 


1G4 


THE  MORAL. 


thenceforward  to  cease  his  solicitations,  and  keep  aloof.  But 
once  admitted,  he  goes  artfully  to  work  to  destroy  all  our  de¬ 
fences,  and  before  we  are  aware  of  it,  he  is  a  permanent  occu¬ 
pant  of  the  castle. 

Such  was  undoubtedly  Carleton’s  experience.  He  was  not 
a  hardened  sinner.  He  was  truly  a  man  of  generous  and  noble 
impulses.  But  little  transgressions  of  the  stern  law  of  con¬ 
science  had  in  his  boyhood  weakened  his  moral  force,  and  pre¬ 
pared  him  for  more  serious  offences.  Then,  in  an  unguarded 
hour,  he  formed  an  attachment  for  a  fascinating,  but  gay  and 
heartless  woman,  under  whose  influences  his  soul  fell  from  the 
truth  and  purity  of  manhood.  It  was  her  hand  which  indi¬ 
rectly  administered  the  deadly  drug  that  destroyed  his  life. 
To  meet  her  necessities  for  dress  and  dissipations,  he  resorted 
to  the  faro  bank.  Although  fortunate  at  first,  he  afterwards 
lost  extensively,  and  became  pecuniarily  embarrassed.  He 
borrowed  money,  which  he  was  unable  to  return.  Only  one 
course  seemed  open  to  him,  to  save  his  honor  in  the  public  eye. 
At  first,  he  purloined  cautiously  and  abstemiously  from  the 
mails,  hoping,  no  doubt,  that  success  at  the  faro  bank  would 
swell  those  unlawful  gains,  and  cancel  the  necessity  for  fur¬ 
ther  depredations. 

But  let  us  not  pursue  the  sajl  topic.  The  end  we  have  seen, 
and  we  will  hasten  to  turn  the  last  leaf  of  this  melancholy 
chapter. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 


A  NIGHT  IN  A  POST-OEFICE. 

Midnight  Mails — Suspected  Clerk — A  trying  Position — Limited  View 
— A  “crack”  Agent — Sneezing — “ Counter  Irritation” — The  Night 
Bell — Fruitless  Speculations — Insect  Orchestra — Picolo  introduced 
— Snoring — Harmless  Accident — The  Boot-black — A  tenanted  Boot 
— The  Exit. 

Some  years  ago,  the  post-office  of  a  prominent  city  in  Western 
New  York  became  involved  in  a  series  of  mail  depredations, 
and  at  length  it  was  apparent  that  some  one  of  three  clerks 
who  had  slept  in  the  office,  must  be  guilty  of  committing  them ; 
but  the  fastening  of  the  charge  upon  the  delinquent  was  a 
thing  yet  to  be  accomplished.  By  various  processes,  the  range 
of  suspicion  was  narrowed  down  till  it  rested  upon  one  of  the 
clerks,  and  it  only  remained  to  get  the  legal  proof  of  his  guilt. 

Packages  were  missed  that  were  known  to  have  reached  the 
office  by  the  midnight  mails.  The  clerks  took  turns  in  getting 
up  to  receive  these  mails,  each  one  performing  his  duty  for  a 
week  in  succession,  the  one  who  for  the  time  attended  to  it, 
sleeping  on  a  cot  in  the  post-office  proper ,  and  the  other  two 
occupying  a  small  apartment  at  some  little  distance  from  the 
main  office,  but  connected  with  it. 

It  had  also  been  ascertained  that  the  packages  were  abstracted 
from  a  particular  mail-pouch  which  arrived  with  many  others 

(165) 


166 


A  TRYING  POSITION. 


about  midnight,  and  remained  unassorted  till  morning.  On  a 
certain  occasion,  when  the  suspected  clerk  was  upon  duty,  an 
exact  description  of  everything  in  that  pouch  was  taken,  upon 
the  cars  from  the  West,  with  the  view  of  comparing  the  list 
of  its  contents  with  the  post  bills  which  should  be  found  on 
the  files  of  the  office  the  following  morning,  these  bills  having 
heretofore  disappeared  with  the  packages. 

As  I  had  before  this  had  good  reason  to  know  that  magis¬ 
trates  and  jurors  in  that  section  of  the  country  very  properly 
required  pretty  conclusive  evidence  for  conviction  in  such  cases, 
I  determined,  in  addition  to  other  expedients,  to  take  the  post 
of  private  watchman  inside  the  office,  for  one  night  at  least, 
that  I  might  obtain,  by  ocular  demonstration,  sufficient  proof 
against  the  guilty  one,  to  satisfy  the  most  incredulous  court 
and  jury. 

One  of  the  unsuspected  clerks  was  sent  away  that  night, 
and  the  other,  in  whom  I  had  the  utmost  confidence,  was 
apprised  of  my  intentions.  By  him  I  was  let  into  the  office 
through  a  private  door,  before  the  object  of  our  machinations 
had  entered ;  and  I  was  not  long  in  selecting  a  suitable  place 
where  I  could  see  without  being  seen,  behind  an  open  door 
leading  from  the  post  master's  private  room.  This  position 
could  command  (through  the  crack  of  the  door)  a  fair  view  of 
the  aforesaid  cot  and  its  occupant. 

It  was  not  long  before  the  individual  arrived  who  was  to  be 
honored  with  my  scrutiny  during  the  live-long  night;  and  as 
he  u  wrapt  the  drapery  of  his  couch  about  him/'  I  could  not 
avoid  making  a  momentary  comparison  between  the  luxury 
about  to  be  enjoyed  by  him,  and  the  wearisome  hours  upon 
which  I  was  entering.  Well, 

* 

“  Some  must  watch,  while  some  must  sleep  ; 

Thus  runs  the  world  away.” 

Sitting  in  the  public  stocks, — watching  with  the  body  of  a 
person  who  has  died  of  some  contagious  disease, — being  cor¬ 
nered  by  a  bore,  when  you  have  an  immediate  engigement 


SNEEZING. 


167 


elsewhere, — waiting  your  turn  in  a  dentist’s  office, — all  these 
are  somewhat  trying  to  the  nerves ;  hut  for  a  real  test  of  their 
power  of  endurance,  commend  me  to  a  stand  behind  a  door, 
between  the  hours  of  10  p.  M.  and  daylight;  the  thermometer 
ranging  from  80  upwards,  all  motion  and  sound  being  forbidden, 
under  the  imminent  risk  of  being  discovered  in  your  hiding 
place,  and  forced  to  retreat  ignominiously. 

This  is  a  faint  picture  of  the  situation  of  the  author  on  the 
night  in  question.  Zeal  for  the  public  good,  and  a  cracker  or 
two,  alone  sustained  him  through  the  tedious  night  watches. 

The  proverb  says  that  “  a  great  deal  can  be  seen  through  a 
small  hole.”  My  sphere  of  vision,  however,  was  rather  limited, 
embracing  only  a  portion  of  the  adjoining  room,  faintly  lighted 
by  a  hanging  lamp,  the  cot  with  its  sleeping  burden,  a  table, 
and  the  dimly  seen  tiers  of  letter  boxes  forming  a  back-ground. 
Entirely  in  keeping  with  this  scene  of  “  still  life,”  was  the 
monotonous  buzz  of  sundry  flies  of  a  rowdyish  disposition,  who, 
not  content  with  tickling  the  noses  of  peaceable  citizens,  and 
otherwise  harassing  them  during  the  day,  must  needs  “  keep 
it  up”  through  the  hours  devoted  to  repose  by  insects  of  more 
steady  habits.  However,  they  might  have  been  engaged  in 
the  praiseworthy  occupation  of  soothing  one  another  to  rest  by 
their  “  drowsy  hum,”  for  I  myself  began  to  feel  its  soporific 
influence,  and  to  bless  “the  man  who  first  fwvented  sleep,” 
but  anathematize  (inwardly)  him  who  was  preventing  it. 

I  was  roused  from  this  sleepy  condition  by  a  slight  irritation 
in  the  Schneiderian  membrane ;  in  other  words,  I  began  to 
feel  a  desire  to  sneeze.  Now,  sneezing  is  an  operation  which 
admits  of  no  compromise.  You  must  either  “go  the  whole 
hog,”  or  entirely  refrain.  Any  attempt  to  reduce  the  force 
of  the  explosion  is  as  unavailing  as  was  the  Irishman’s  effort 
to  “fire  aizy”  when  he  was  touching  off  the  cannon.  So  the 
annoying  inclination  must  be  nipped  in  the  bud,  if  I  wished 
to  preserve  my  secrecy  inviolate,  and  prove  that  I  was  “  up  to 
snuff.” 

Accordingly  I  called  to  mind  (as  far  as  I  was  able)  and 


168 


TIIE  NIGHT  BELL. 


practised  all  the  expedients  of  which  I  had  ever  heard,  besides 
others  entirely  original,  for  allaying  this  titillation.  I  rubbed 
the  bridge  of  the  nose ;  I  would  have  slapped  myself  on  the 
forehead,  had  I  not  feared  the  remedy  would  prove  worse  than 
the  disease  in  respect  of  noise.  I  instituted  experiments  in 
u  counter  irritation,”  by  pulling  my  hair,  pinching  my  ear, 
and  thus  diverting  attention  from  the  rebellious  organ;  and 
finally  I  succeeded  in  subduing  this  refractory  member.  The 
uneasiness  I  felt  lest,  after  all,  I  should  be  compelled  to  wake 
the  echoes  of  the  building,  as  well  as  other  more  tangible  cre¬ 
ations,  were  in  some  degree  dispelled  by  several  hearty  snores 
which  proceeded  from  the  sleeper,  and,  like  the  guns  which 
announce  the  arrival  of  a  vessel  in  port,  gave  evidence  that  he 
had  arrived  in  the  land  of  dreams. 

Under  the  cover  of  this  u  feu  de  joie I  dispatched  a 
cracker  (not  a  fire-cracker)  which  I  happened  to  have  in  my 
pocket,  as  my  inner  man  began  to  feel  the  effects  of  my  un¬ 
wonted  position  and  consequent  weariness. 

At  about  midnight,  a  sudden  peal  of  the  bell,  pulled  by  the 
mail  carrier,  at  a  back  door,  aroused  the  sleeper,  who  started 
up,  went  to  the  door  and  received  the  mail,  and,  after  a  little 
delay,  returned  to  his  bed,  not,  however,  to  sleep  as  quietly  as 
before,  as  he  often  rolled  over  from  side  to  side,  occasionally 
uttering  a  groan. 

Having  nothing  better  to  do,  I  speculated  on  the  cause  of 
these  phenomena.  They  might  be  owing,  first,  to  heat,  second, 
to  a  disordered  stomach,  or  third,  to  an  uneasy  conscience. 

As  to  the  first  of  these  supposed  causes,  it  seemed  impro¬ 
bable  that  his  recent  visit  to  the  door  in  a  very  airy  costume, 
should  have  had  any  tendency  to  increase  the  animal  heat ; 
and  as  regarded  the  second  theory,  my  knowledge  of  his  die¬ 
tetic  habits  was  too  limited  to  furnish  me  with  data  for  any¬ 
thing  like  an  argument.  If  his  short  delay  at  the  door  after 
receiving  the  mail  bags,  was  produced  by  any  cause  for  which 
conscience  might  properly  goad  him,  the  last  hypothesis  might 
be  correct, — but  on  the  whole  I  was  obliged  to  follow  the  ex- 


. 

■  . 


,,  ,.iLJ 


- 


'  '  y  ' 

L  :  *, 


■m  «* 


INSECT  ORCHESTRA. 


169 


ample  of  many  profounder  theorists,  and  confess  that  I  didn’ 
know  much  about  the  matter. 

A  combination  of  the  stomach  and  conscience  suppositions, 
might  be  an  adequate  solution  of  the  question,  for  the  slender 
salary  of  a  post-office  clerk  hardly  sufficed  for  more  than  three 
meals  a  day,  and  the  inference  from  these  premises  would 
be  rather  easy  that  a  fourth  must  have  been  at  the  public 
expense. 

Here  my  reflections  came  to  an  untimely  end,  for  the  insect 
orchestra,  of  whose  performances  I  have  spoken,  was  reinforced 
by  the  addition  of  a  picolo,  in  the  shape  of  one  of  those  minute 
specimens  of  creation  commonly  called  mosquito,  whose  note, 
u  most  musical,  most  melancholy,”  blended  with  the  trombone 
of  the  blue  bottle  fly  in  a  manner  rather  more  curious  than 
pleasing.  And  the  different  sounds  produced  by  these  insects 
were  no  less  unlike  than  their  modes  of  approaching  their 
victims ;  the  latter,  with  bull-headed  obstinacy,  bouncing 
against  your  face  in  a  blundering  way,  with  apparently  no 
particular  object  excepting  that  of  making  himself  generally 
disagreeable,  while  the  former,  lighting  upon  you  as  delicately 
as  a  snow  flake,  proceeds  with  admirable  promptitude  and 
definiteness  of  purpose  to  take  out  his  lancet,  and,  like  some 
never-failing  humorist,  is  always  “  in  thewein.” 

The  tones  of  this  insect  AMian  rose  and  fell  for  a  little 
time  at  a  distance,  but  I  was  speedily  aware  of  its  presence  in 
immediate  proximity  to  my  ear,  and  apparently  making  a  tour 
of  observation  around  my  head,  whereupon  I  commenced  a 
blind  sort  of  defence  by  flourishing  my  hands  as  noiselessly  as 
possible  round  the  region  invaded,  to  as  little  purpose,  how¬ 
ever,  as  the  attack  of  regular  troops  upon  a  body  of  Indians ; 
for  in  a  moment  the  music  ceased,  and  I  felt  the  sharp  prick 
which  informed  me  that  I  was  hit,  and  I  instinctively  inflicted 
an  energetic  slap  upon  the  spot,  by  which  my  enemy  was  ex¬ 
tinguished,  and  one  bill  at  least  effectually  cancelled.  This 
result  was  not  attained  without  a  report,  which  so  violently 
broke  the  silence,  that  I  stood  for  a  moment  in  breathless 
15 


170 


HARMLESS  ACCIDENT. 


« 


suspense,  fearing  tliat  the  sound  would  penetrate  into  the 
realms  of  Morpheus,  and  that  thus  I  might  pay  too  dearly  for 
my  triumph.  But  the  sleeper  “made  no  sign,”  and  I  was 
again  left  to  my  solitary  musings. 

A  small  pistol  which  I  had  observed  my  sleeping  friend 
place  under  his  head,  on  going  to  bed,  did  not  tend  to  increase 
the  comforts  of  my  position,  for  since  he  had  become  so  rest¬ 
less,  the  thought  passed  through  my  mind  that  he  might  have 
heard  some  suspicious  noise  in  my  direction,  and  was  feigning 
sleep,  while  on  the  watch  for  its  repetition.  If  this  were  the 
case,  the  discovery  of  a  supernumerary  on  the  premises,  might 
lead  to  a  hasty  assault  on  the  supposed  midnight  prowler,  and 
also  a  more  rapid  transfer  of  the  contents  of  the  pistol  to  me 
than  would  be  either  agreeable  or  wholesome,  before  I  could 
offer  any  reasonable  explanation  for  my  presence  behind  the 
door  at  such  an  unseasonable  hour. 

After  a  while,  however,  a  renewal  of  the  snoring,  which  was 
occasionally  echoed  by  the  occupant  of  the  adjoining  room, 
assured  me  of  the  absence  of  belligerent  intentions,  and  the 
buzzing  of  the  flies  before  mentioned,  with  the  ticking  of  a 
clock  in  the  office,  were  the  only  additional  sounds  that  broke 
upon  the  silence. 

About  two  o’clock,  a  slight  accident  occurred  to  me,  which, 
however,  did  no  harm.  In  reaching  for  a  pitcher  of  water  that 
stood  on  the  table  near  by,  I  knocked  off  a  book,  which  must 
have  been  poised  on  the  corner  of  the  table.  I  immediately 
imitated,, by  scratching,  the  gnawing  of  a  rat  in  the  wall,  so 
that  if  the  falling  of  the  book  had  aroused  the  sleeper,  he 
would  have  attributed  both  the  noises  to  the  imaginary  animal. 

But  few  sounds  outside  the  building  were  heard,  save  the 
occasional  drunken  shout  of  some  votarv  of  Bacchus,  reeling 
homo  to  disgrace  his  family  with  his  presence;  and  the  measured 
strokes  of  the  city  clocks,  as  they  told  off  the  long,  long  hours. 

But  the  most  ludicrous  circumstance  happened  just  about 
daylight, — that  is,  daylight  outside,  for  within  the  office  it  was 
still  dark,  as  all  the  blinds  were  closed.  I  was  startled  by  a 


T1IE  EXIT. 


171 


sudden  rap  on  the  door  of  tlie  post  master’s  room  which  opened 
into  the  main  hall,  soon  followed  by  another  even  more  ener¬ 
getic.  The  clerk  in  the  bed-room  jumped  from  his  bed  and 
passed  by  me  to  open  the  door.  Fearing  that  I  should  be  dis¬ 
covered;  I  darted  into  the  bed-room  without  his  knowledge, 
and  before  he  had  returned.  The  truth  is,  he  was  not  more 
than  half  awake,  and  had  forgotten  me  entirely.  He  had 
admitted  a  colored  man  to  get  the  boots  which  required  his 
polishing  touch,  and  then  returned  to  bed  again. 

This  gentleman  of  color,  who  by  the  way  proved  to  be  a 
trusty  porter  employed  in  several  of  the  offices  in  the  building, 
proceeded  first  to  the  side  of  the  cot  to  get  the  boots  there, 
and  then  made  for  the  bed-room,  into  which  I  had  retreated. 
In  feeling  about  the  floor  to  find  the  remaining  u  leathern  con¬ 
veniences,”  he  seized  one  of  mine  !  u  I’ve  got  my  foot  in  it 
now,”  thought  I ;  but  by  a  gentle  and  dexterous  movement  I 
succeeded  in  withdrawing  the  exposed  covering  from  his  par¬ 
tial  grasp,  without  his  discovering  the  existence  of  a  leg 
within.  Whether  it  was  fright  at  the  touch  of  the  tenanted 
boot,  or  something  else,  that  made  him  leave  the  premises  so 
suddenly,  I  have  never  been  fully  satisfied.  I  went  out  my¬ 
self  soon  after,  leaving  both  clerks  sound  asleep. 

What  occurred  on  that  night  beyond  that  which  I  have 
already  described,  or  how  the  investigation  terminated,  I  am 
confident  the  reader  will  not  insist  upon  knowing,  when  I  as¬ 
sure  him  that  there  are  special  reasons,  affecting  public  as  well 
as  private  interests,  why  I  should  make  no  further  disclosures. 

Though  this  was  not  the  last  night  which  I  have  spent  in 
post-offices  for  similar  purposes,  yet  I  have  never  repeated  the 
experiment  under  circumstances  requiring  quite  so  severe 
restraints,  and  such  abridgment  of  personal  liberty. 


CHAPTER  IX. 


Throwing  off  the  Cars-  —Fiendish  Recklessness — The  Boot-Tracks — 
A  Scamp  among  the  Printers — Obstruction  removed — A  Ruse — 
The  Boots  secured — “  Big  Jobs” — The  Trial— Unreliable  Witness — 
A  Life-Sentence. 

In  the  narrations  of  mail  robberies  which  we  have  thus  far 
given,  their  perpetrators,  though  bold  and  unscrupulous,  have 
not  often  plotted  the  destruction  of  human  life  in  order  to  further 
their  projects.  But  in  the  case  we  are  about  briefly  to  relate, 
murder  on  a  large  scale  was  coolly  contemplated  for  the  sake 
of  the  facilities  which  would  be  afforded  to  the  plunderers  of 
the  mail,  by  the  confusion,  distress,  and  preoccupation  which 
necessarily  follow  the  throwing  of  cars  from  a  railroad  track. 
The  certain  destruction  of  property  and  the  probable  loss  of 
life  which  would  be  caused  by  the  successful  execution  of  their 
plans,  were  nothing  to  these  atrocious  scoundrels,  as  long  as 
by  these  means  plunder  might  be  brought  within  their  grasp. 

Rather  more  than  a  year  ago,  on  a  certain  day  in  March, 
the  locomotive  of  a  mail  train  upon  one  of  the  Western  railroads 
was  thrown  from  the  track  by  a  “  T”  rail,  which  was  placed 
with  one  end  against  a  tie,  so  that  the  other,  projecting  some¬ 
what  upward,  was  struck  by  the  engine.  This  occurred  near 
a  city  in  one  of  the  Western  States.  No  one  on  the  train  was 
injured,  and  whoever  placed  the  obstruction  failed  in  accom¬ 
plishing  his  purpose,  if  that  was  to  rob  the  mail. 

No  person  was  particularly  suspected  of  the  deed,  but 

(172) 


THE  BOOT-TRACKS. 


173 


tracks  made  by  a  boot  of  peculiar  shape,  with  rows  of  large 
nails  around  the  soles  and  heels,  were  found  in  the  soft  clay 
in  the  neighborhood  of  the  spot,  and  an  impression  of  them 
was  taken  for  future  reference.  On  the  same  day  the  Superin¬ 
tendent  of  the  road  received  a  letter,  of  which  the  following 
is  a  copy. 

Adrian,  March  7,  1854. 

Sir :  I  have  for  the  last  few  days  written  five  or  six  notes  to  send 
you,  but  as  often  I  have  changed  my  mind  and  concluded  to  let  the 
information  that  I  wish  to  convey  you,  lie  buried  in  obscurity. 
But  the  late  act  of  villany  that  was  committed  I  may  say  within  sight 
of  our  city,  forces  me  to  disclose  to  you  information  that  I  received  a 
few  days  ago  of  the  formation  of  a  gang  of  rascals  who  have  combined 
together  to  commit,  I  may  say,  wholesale  murder,  and  other  criminal 
acts,  by  obstructing  the  passage  of  trains  and  endangering  the  same 
on  the  M.  S.  &  N.  R.  B.  This  gang  of  villains  is  under  the  manage¬ 
ment  of  two  men  that  are  now  known  to  me.  The  subject  came  to  my 
knowledge  by  an  offer  from  them  of  a  large  sum  of  money  if  I  would 
take  part  with  them  in  their  intended  villany. 

This  I  refused,  and  scornfully  regarded  their  proposals  to  have 
anything  to  do  with  them.  I  further  threatened  to  expose  them  if 
they  should  attempt  at  any  time  to  carry  their  intentions  into  effect, 
and  one  of  them  said  if  I  should  ever  disclose  to  any  one  their  inten¬ 
tions,  that  it  would  be  certain  death  to  me.  I  cannot  in  this  note 
explain  to  you  the  information  I  wish  to  convey  in  full ;  but  should 
you  answer  by  dropping  a  line  in  the  post-office  to  me,  I  will,  if  you 
wish,  disclose  to  you  the  names  of  the  parties  ;  in  fact,  I  will  give  you 
all  the  information  that  I  can  of  the  parties  and  their  intended  plot, 
on  condition  that  you  will  give  a  liberal  reward.  I  would  be  able  to 
point  them  out  or  describe  them  so  that  they  might  be  arrested.  I 
am  satisfied  one  of  them  has  in  his  trunk  documents  that  would  dis¬ 
close  the  whole  matter. 

I  hope  you  will  keep  this  subject  dark,  as  I  am  exposing  myself  to 
great  danger  by  disclosing  this  to  you,  and  would  also  expose  the 
interest  of  the  road  by  disclosing  this  subject  to  the  public.  Yes, 
such  would  make  the  road  a  terror  to  all. 

As  I  cannot  write  to  any  satisfaction,  should  you  wish  to  know 
further  about  the  matter,  let  me  know  and  I  will  go  to  your  office 
any  evening  that  may  be  convenient  to  you. 

For  the  present  I  remain  yours, 


174 


A  SCAMP  AMONG  THE  PRINTERS. 


The  author  of  this  document  (who  here  signs  a  feigned 
name)  claimed  to  he  a  natural  son  of  *an  English  lord  celebrated 
in  literature,  and  assumed  the  name  of  his  pretended  father. 
He  seems  to  have  been  a  man  of  considerable  shrewdness, 
though  he  did  not  prove  to  be  quite  shrewd  enough  to  outwit 
the  business  men  and  officers  of  justice  with  whom  he  had 
to  deal. 

The  Superintendent  replied  to  the  letter,  requesting  an  im¬ 
mediate  interview.  To  this  B.  (the  person  in  question) 
returned  an  answer,  stating  that  he  had  written  to  one  of  the 
leaders  of  the  gang  in  New  York,  and  that  he  would  call  on 
the  Superintendent  as  soon  as  he  had  received  a  reply,  which 
might  give  him  further  information. 

Three  or  four  days  after  this  the  interview  was  held,  and 
afterwards  another  in  the  presence  of  the  attorneys  of  the 
railroad  company.  On  these  occasions,  B.  repeated  his  story 
with  some  further  details,  and  offered  to  assist  in  the  detection 
of  the  scoundrels,  if  he  could  be  assured  of  a  sufficient 
reward.  There  were  many  suspicious  circumstances  about 
this  person,  both  as  respected  his  appearance  and  the  state¬ 
ments  which  he  made. 

It  did  not  seem  very  probable  that  any  one  should  have  so 
intimate  a  knowledge  of  the  designs  of  the  villains  as  he 
appeared  to  possess,  without  being,  to  some  extent  at  least, 
involved  in  their  guilt.  Notwithstanding  their  suspicions, 
the  officers  of  the  road  concluded  to  engage  his  services,  with 
the  intention  of  keeping  a  sharp  lookout  upon  him.  He  gave 
the  names  of  several  persons  as  concerned  in  the  scheme,  and 
proposed  to  correspond  with  some  of  the  leaders  and  draw  from 
them  disclosures  which  would  cause  their  detection. 

About  this  time  he  went  to  work  in  a  printing  office,  and 
was  observed  to  be  irregular  in  his  habits,  being  much  out  at 
nights.  He  had  occasional  interviews  with  Mr.  S.  (one  of  the 
Attorneys  above  mentioned,)  rather  respecting  what  he  had 
not  discovered  than  what  he  had,  and  sometimes  showing  let¬ 
ters  that  he  pretended  to  have  received,  threatening  his  life 


OBSTRUCTION  REMOVED. 


175 


unless  he  left  the  country.  These  interviews,  however  unfruit¬ 
ful  they  were  in  available  information,  led  to  a  result  which 
was  not  anticipated  by  the  cunning  B. 

Had  this  individual  narrowly  observed  all  the  surroundings 
of  the  lawyer’s  office,  he  would  have  seen  a  quantity  of  fresh 
damp  sand  strewed  upon  the  walk  in  front,  through  which  he 
was  obliged  to  pass  on  entering.  Of  course  he  thought  no¬ 
thing  of  it ;  hardly  any  one  would ;  but  the  impressions  which 
his  boots  made  on  that  sand  were  found  to  correspond  exactly 
with  those  obtained  from  the  clay  at  the  scene  of  the  railroad 
accident  before  mentioned ! 

One  evening,  about  three  weeks  after  the  accident  on  the 
railroad,  B.  rushed  into  the  office  of  the  railroad  company  in 
breathless  haste,  and  informed  the  Assistant  Superintendent 
that  he  had  been  applied  to  by  a  certain  person  to  put  obstruc¬ 
tions  on  the  track  a  little  West  of  the  city,  to  catch  the  9  P. 
M.  mail  train  West;  but  had  got  away  from  him  and  hurried 
to  the  office  to  give  this  information.  The  Assistant  Superin¬ 
tendent  and  others  immediately  went  up  the  road  about  two 
miles,  and  found  obstructions  placed  in  the  spot  indicated,  and 
removed  them.  When  the  train  passed,  the  light  in  front  of 
the  locomotive  showed  several  men  running  into  the  woods. 

This  was  the  third  instance  of  attempted  obstruction  to  the 
mail  trains  upon  this  road,  within  less  than  a  month  (one 
having  occurred  previously  to  that  first  mentioned,  causing, 
however,  but  slight  damage,)  and  it  was  ascertained  that  there 
were  considerable  amounts  of  money  in  the  mail  on  each  of 
those  occasions. 

It  may  be  remarked  in  passing,  that  although  B.  had 
notified  the  company  in  advance,  of  actual  obstructions,  and 
had  given  the  names  of  the  parties  concerned,  yet  no  progress 
seemed  to  be  made  in  detecting  the  guilty  individuals.  It  was 
evidently  his  policy  to  obtain  money  from  the  company  as  the 
price  of  his  disclosure,  and  yet  to  manage  so  that  no  discovery 
would  result. 

In  the  mean  time,  the  Post-Office  Department  had  been 


176 


THE  BOOTS  SECURED. 


informed  of  these  facts,  and  an  experienced  and  skilful  police 
officer  in  Chicago  was  appointed  Special  Mail  Agent  to  investi¬ 
gate  the  matter.  He  very  soon  came  to  the  conclusion  that 
whoever  the  other  guilty  persons  might  he,  B.  was  “one 
of  'em”  to  all  intents  and  purposes.  As  we  have  before 
stated,  B.  had  said  that  one  of  the  leaders  was  in  New  York, 
and  at  the  request  of  the  company's  attorney,  B.  wrote  a 
letter  to  him. 

The  Chief  of  Police  of  New  York  was  written  to,  and 
requested  to  station  an  officer  at  the  post-office  to  watch  for 
and  arrest  the  party  who  should  call  for  the  letter,  but  during 
the  time  which  elapsed  between  the  arrival  of  the  letter 
and  the  officer  who  was  to  watch  outside  the  post-office,  the 
letter  disappeared,  and  even  before  any  one  connected  with 
the  New  York  post-office  had  been  apprised  of  the  arrange¬ 
ment. 

Four  days  afterwards,  B.  informed  one  of  the  company's 
attorneys  that  the  man  in  New  York  had  received  the  letter 
and  sent  him  a  verbal  answer  to  the  effect,  that  he  had  better 
write  no  more  by  mail,  “as  the  letters  might  get  lost.”  Mr. 
P.,  the  Chicago  police  officer,  went  in  company  with  a  lawyer 
to  New  York,  with  the  design  of  finding  the  man  to  whom 
the  letter  was  addressed.  Their  efforts,  however,  though  assisted 
by  the  Chief  of  Police,  and  the  Special  Agent  for  the  New 
York  district,  were  unavailing. 

It  was  ascertained  that  he  had  paid  his  passage  to  Liverpool 
on  the  ship  Washington,  but  having  been  asked  a  casual  ques¬ 
tion  by  one  of  the  officers  of  the  vessel,  concerning  his  rela¬ 
tionship  to  a  certain  Englishman,  he  had  forfeited  his  passage- 
money,  and  disappeared. 

Having  returned  to  the  West,  Mr.  P.,  the  government  Agent, 
determined  to  arrest  B.,  which  he  effected,  and,  without  his 
knowledge,  obtained  possession  of  his  boots,  which  had  already 
supplied  such  important  evidence  against  him. 

He  displayed  much  virtuous  indignation,  and  talked  largely 


A  RUSE. 


*1  r-w 

1  (  i 

of  his  wealth,  respectability,  and  high  standing  in  society  ;  but 
all  this  availed  him  nothing,  and  he  was  committed  to  jail. 

Although  he  had  arrested  B.,  yet  Mr.  P.  doubted  whether 
he  had  sufficient  evidence  to  convict  him,  and  determined  to 
condemn  him  out  of  his  own  mouth.  Accordingly  he  made 
arrangements  with  a  deputy  sheriff  of  Milwaukie,  to  play  the 
part  of  prisoner,  and  thus  to  obtain  the  rascal’s  confidence. 

Agreeably  to  this  arrangement,  when  B.  entered  the  prison, 
he  found  the  deputy  sheriff  already  in  his  cell,  apparently  a 
fellow  victim  to  the  demands  of  justice.  For  about  four  weeks 
this  gentleman  was  most  of  the  time  in  the  cell  with  B.,  repre¬ 
senting  himself  as  an  “  express  robber;”  conducting  himself 
in  such  a  turbulent  manner  that  B.  supposed  the  time  of  his 
absences  was  passed  in  the  dungeon. 

For  some  time,  however,  he  failed  in  extracting  any  disclo¬ 
sures  from  B.,  who  confidently  expected  that  his  connection 
with  the  railroad  company  would  protect  him.  After  he  had 
been  in  prison  about  three  weeks,  B.  was  informed  that  his 
arrest  had  been  made  by  an  United  States  officer,  who  intended 
to  make  his  boots  convict  him  of  obstructing  the  mail  train, 
and  that  the  railroad  company  were  powerless  to  shield  him 
from  punishment  for  acts  committed  (as  this  had  been)  pre¬ 
vious  to  his  employment  by  them. 

He  now  saw  his  danger,  and,  on  returning  to  his  cell  with 
his  supposed  fellow  prisoner,  who  had  assumed  the  name  of 
Harris,  he  manifested  great  agitation.  Harris  asked  what  was 
the  matter.  B.  hesitated  for  a  while,  and  at  length  exclaimed  : 
“  That  rascally  P.  has  stole  my  boots.” 

“  What  if  he  has?”  replied  the  pseudo  Harris.  “They 
couldn’t  be  worth  much.” 

“  They  are  worth  considerable  to  me,  I  can  tell  you,  for  he 
means  to  send  me  to  State  prison  with  them.” 

“  Send  you  to  State  prison  ?  What  in  the  world  do  you 
mean  ?  How  can  your  boots  send  you  to  State  prison  ?” 

“  Why,  he  is  going  to  show  that  they  made  the  tracks  that 
were  found  where  the  rail  was  put  on  the  track  East  of  Adrian.” 


I 


178 


“  BIG  JOBS. 


>> 

“Well,”  said  Harris,  “that  looks  rather  bad,  but  it  isn’t  as 
bad  as  it  might  be.  You’ll  get  out  of  it  yet,  and  I’ll  help  you, 
if  I  can.  I  expect  to  get  bailed  out  in  a  day  or  two,  and  if  I 
can  do  anything  for  you,  I  will.” 

“You  are  the  man  for  me,”  said  B.,  “and  I  shall  want  you 
to  come  and  swear  on  my  trial  that  you  saw  a  person  by  the 
name  of  A - put  the  rail  on,  and  that  I  wasn’t  there.” 

“  But  if  you  are  innocent,”  replied  Harris,  “  you  will  get 
clear;  and  if  you  are  guilty,  I  don’t  believe  I  can  help  you.” 

“You  must,  by  heavens,”  said  B.  “If  you  don’t,  I’m  a 
goner !” 

Here  the  conversation  ended  that  day,  but  the  next  morn¬ 
ing  B.  directed  his  fellow  prisoner  to  testify  that  his  name  was 
drover,  and  that  on  the  night  on  which  the  obstruction  in 

question  was  made,  he  went  with  A - ,  and  saw  him  put  the 

rail  on  the  track.  (So  minute,  by  the  way,  was  B.’s  descrip¬ 
tion  of  the  place  and  the  manner  in  which  the  obstructing 
rail  was  laid,  that  the  deputy  sheriff  going  there  afterwards  in 
company  with  Mr.  P.,  easily  found  the  spot,  and  identified  the 
very  tie  under  which  the  rail  was  placed,  though  it  was  the 
first  time  he  had  been  there.) 

“Well,”  said  Harris,  alias  Grover,  (who  seemed  to  grow 
rapidly  rich  in  names,)  if  I  help  you  out  in  this  way,  what 
shall  I  get  by  it  ?” 

B.  replied :  “  If  you  get  me  clear  I  shall  keep  the  confi¬ 
dence  of  the  railroad  company,  and  will  introduce  you  to  a  set 
of  good  fellows  who  do  nothing  but  big  jobs,  and  my  connec¬ 
tion  with  the  company  will  enable  me  to  get  you  a  position 
where  you  can  pay  yourself.” 

Having  by  such  inducements  secured  (as  he  supposed)  the 
aid  of  his  companion,  B.  recovered  his  equanimity,  and 
wrote  as  follows  to  one  of  the  attorneys  for  the  railroad  com¬ 
pany  : — 

“  To  return  to  the  obstruction  east  of  Adrian  in  regard  to  my  boots 
such  as  I  can  prove  by  J  S  that  I  mentioned  in  my  last,  by  him  I  can 
prove  where  I  was  that  night,  as  also  where  my  boots  were,  and  as  for 


* 


THE  TRIAL. 


179 


the  other  man’s  evidence  I  am  sure  that  I  cannot  he  mistaken  as  to 
my  success  on  trial  or  examination.  I  hope  you  will  soon  see  Mr  G 
again  and  be  sure  to  have  him  at  the  time.  As  to  the  danger  of  my 
going  to  Adrian  for  fear  I  would  fall  into  the  hands  of  the  engineers 
and  firemen  in  that  place,  I  will  say  for  once  and  all,  let  me  go  to 
Adrian — &  as  to  the  danger  of  falling  into  the  hands  of  rowdies  I  am 
not  afraid  of  no !  no !  not  if  all  the  fiends  of  Pandemonium  was  to 
raise  against  me  I  will  not  shrink  from  anything  as  long  as  I  am 
innocent  or  as  long  as  I  can  have  the  protection  of  the  law  on  my  side 
Justice !  Justice ! !  is  all  I  claim  and  that  I  expect  to  have  before  a 
Court  of  justice  and  an  independent  &  impartial  Jury,  if  I  can’t 
swim  there  let  me  sink. 

Res.  yours  &  Others,  A.  S.  B. 

P.  S.  I  will  convince  your  Engineers  &  firemen  that  I  was  their 
friend,  and  that  I  have  oftentimes  run  myself  into  danger  for  their 
safety,  as  well  as  that  of  the  Company  &  the  travelling  public  Yes 
&  if  they  or  the  Co.  have  any  feeling  of  gratitude  in  them  I  am  sure 
that  they  will  not  show  it  by  prosecuting  me  but  first  I  must  prove 
“  my  title  clear”  &  that  I  can  do  so  Hurra  boys,  &c.,  three  times  three. 

Yours  truly,  A.  S.  B.” 

The  railroad  company  could  have  no  further  doubt  of  his 
guilt.  It  was  plain  that  he  had  entered  their  service  to  betray 
them )  and  though  he  had  given  the  names  of  his  accomplices, 
he  had  been  careful  not  to  catch  them. 

At  his  request  he  was  removed  to  Adrian  for  trial.  He  told 
his  counsel  what  he  should  prove  by  Grover ;  and  was  assured 
of  an  honorable  acquittal. 

At  the  trial,  the  counsel  for  the  prosecution  examined  several 
witnesses  in  relation  to  the  boot-tracks,  which,  for  the  time 
being,  were  as  interesting  to  the  legal  fraternity,  as  are  the 
ancient  bird-tracks  found  in  sandstone,  to  geologists. 

The  defence  supposed  that  the  counsel  for  the  prosecution 
would  there  rest,  and  were  confident  that  they  had  the  game 
in  their  own  hands,  knowing,  as  they  did,  that  the  evidence 
thus  far  adduced  was  not  sufficient  to  convict  their  client. 

But  the  prosecution  called  u  Wm.  B.,”  (the  deputy  sheriff,) 
when,  to  the  utter  astonishment  and  dismay  of  the  prisoner, 
his  man  Grover  took  the  stand ! 


180 


THE  LIFE-SENTENCE. 


This  unexpected  transmutation  at  once  dissipated  thp  dreams 
of  triumph  and  future  villany  in  which  he  had  been  revelling; 
and  as  “  Wm.  B.”  testified  to  the  facts  in  his  possession,  and 
the  disclosures  of  the  prisoner,  this  baffled  scoundrel  found 
the  prop  on  which  he  had  relied  falling  beneath  him,  and 
plunging  him  into  that  gulf  from  which  he  had  made  such 
desperate  though  vain  efforts  to  escape. 

He  was  found  guilty  on  two  indictments.  On  the  first,  he 
was  sentenced  to  imprisonment  for  life,  the  judge  remarking 
that  he  would  suspend  sentence  on  the  other  till  the  first  had 
expired. 

The  interval  between  the  pilfering  of  small  sums  and  the 
deliberate  plotting  of  wholesale  murder  for  the  sake  of  plun¬ 
der,  seems  a  wide  one ;  yet  no  one  who  enters  even  the  verge 
of  the  maelstrom  of  a  dishonest  course,  can  tell  how  far  within 
the  vortex  he  may  be  drawn  by  its  ever  strengthening  current. 

The  case  just  related  forms  a  culminating  point  in  the  series 
of  villanies  which  we  have  recorded  in  this  book  for  the 
benefit  of  those  who,  in  defiance  of  the  eternal  laws  of  Provi¬ 
dence.  attempt  to  make  the  way  of  the  transgressor  easy. 


CHAPTER  X. 


STOPPING  A  POST-OFFICE. 

The  Unpaid  Draft — The  Forged  Order — A  Reliable  Witness — Giving 
up  the  Mail  Key — A  Lady  Assistant — Post-Office  Records — The  offi¬ 
cial  Envelope — Return  of  the  Post  Master — The  Interview — Embar¬ 
rassment  of  Guilt — Duplicate  Circular — Justice  secured. 

One  of  the  coolest  and  at  the  same  time  silliest  pieces  of 
post-office  rascality  that  I  have  ever  known,  occurred  a  few 
years  since  in  Rhode  Island. 

A  small  draft  from  the  Post-Office  Department  having  been 
presented  by  a  mail  contractor  to  the  post  master  of  P.,  pay¬ 
ment  was  refused,  on  the  ground  that  the  office  had  been 
abolished  some  time  before,  and  that  there  was  little  or  no¬ 
thing  due  the  Department.  No  time  was  lost  by  the  con¬ 
tractor  in  apprising  the  proper  officer  at  "Washington,  of  the 
non-payment  of  the  draft,  and  the  reason  assigned  therefor; 
when  reference  was  at  once  made  to  the  official  records. 
They,  however,  failed  to  show  the  discontinuance  of  the  office. 

Here  was  a  mysterious  and  singular  affair,  and  a  letter  was 
accordingly  despatched  to  the  seemingly  delinquent  post  mas¬ 
ter,  requiring  an  explanation  of  his  course.  A  reply  to  this 
was  very  promptly  sent  to  the  Department,  to  the  effect  that 
some  months  previous  he'  had  received  from  the  Appointment 
Office  formal  notice  that  his  office  had  been  discontinued,  ac- 
16  (1S1) 


182 


THE  FORGED  ORDER. 


companied  by  an  order  to  band  over  all  the  mail  matter  remain¬ 
ing  on  band,  together  with  the  mail  key,  and  other  property 
of  the  Department,  to  a  neighboring  post  master,  and  that  he 
had  of  course  answered  the  demand. 

A  re-examination  of  the  books  still  showing  the  office  to 
be  a  “live  one,”  he  was  written  to,  and  directed  to  forward 
the  original  document  upon  the  authority  of  which  he  had 
shut  up  his  office.  The  papers  were  duly  forwarded,  and  sure 
enough,  there  was  the  “  Order,”  signed  with  the  name  of  the 
Second  Assistant  Post  Master  General,  who  was  then  at  the 
head  of  the  Appointment  Office.  It  read  as  follows  : — 


Post-Office  Department,  March  28,  1846. 


Sir, 

The  Post  Master  General  having  decided  to  discontinue  the  Post- 

Office  at  P - ,  from  and  after  the  expiration  of  the  present  fiscal 

quarter,  you  will,  at  that  time,  please  hand  over  all  mail  matter,  the 
mail  key,  and  all  other  property  belonging  to  the  Department,  to  the 
Post  Master  at  M - ,  on  his  presenting  this  order. 

Very  Respectfully, 

Your  Obt.  Servant, 

Wm.  J.  Brown, 

2d  Asst.  P.  M.  General. 


Although  a  tolerably  fair  imitation  of  that  officer’s  hand¬ 
writing,  it  was  at  once  pronounced  a  forgery.  My  services,  as 
Special  Agent,  were  called  into  requisition,  and  all  the  facts,  as 
they  then  stood,  communicated  to  me.  As  speedily  as  possible 
I  visited  the  scene  of  this  perplexing  and  extraordinary  official 
mystery.  Arriving  at  the  site  of  the  late  post-office,  I  found 
its  former  incumbent  to  be  a  highly  respectable  merchant,  well 
advanced  in  years,  and  blessed  with  one  of  those  countenances 
which,  to  a  person  at  all  accustomed  to  study  character  in  that 
way,  at  once  dispels  all  doubt  and  distrust.  He  was  of  Dutch 
descent,  and,  while  intelligent  on  general  subjects,  was  poorly 
“  posted”  in  the  arts  and  devices  of  cunning  knaves.  From 
him  I  received  a  full  statement  of  the  shuttiog  up  process, 


A  RELIAELE  WITNESS. 


183 


and  obtained  some  additional  facts,  which  afterwards  furnished 
me  with  a  clue  to  the  whole  mystery. 

On  one  of  the  last  days  of  March,  Mr.  Gr - ,  post  master 

at  another  village  in  the  same  town,  called  on  him  in  company 
with  one  of  his  friends,  and  presented  what  purported  to  be 
a  copy  of  an  order  from  the  Department,  directing  him  to  close 
the  office,  and  to  give  up  the  property  in  the  manner  already 
described.  Of  course  the  post  master  felt  and  manifested 
no  little  surprise,  for  the  office  had  been  established  but  about 
a  year,  and  he  had  heard  of  no  application  or  desire  in  any 
quarter  for  such  a  proceeding. 

“It  is  all  right,  I  suppose,”  said  he,  after  carefully  examin¬ 
ing  the  “  copy”  which  had  been  handed  him  without  a  word 
of  explanation ;  “  but  I  think,  before  I  hand  over  the  property, 
I  ought  to  have  the  original  order.” 

“  Oh  yes,  it’s  all  correct,”  responded  the  witness  (who  had 
seen  the  copy  made  from  the  spurious  order,  supposing  that 
to  be  genuine) ;  “I  saw  it  compared  with  the  original  myself, 
and  it’s  a  true  copy.” 

“But  the  quarter  will  not  be  ended  till  to-morrow,”  re¬ 
marked  the  astonished  official ;  “  and,  on  the  whole,  I  think 
I  must  refuse  compliance,  unless  the  original  instructions  are 
placed  in  my  hands.” 

“  Then  I  understand  you  as  refusing  to  obey  the  order  of 
the  Department,  do  I  ?”  said  the  applicant. 

“  Not  at  all,”  was  the  mild  response ;  “lam  perfectly  ready 
to  comply  when  I  see  the  written  command  over  the  signature 
of  the  proper  officer  of  the  Department.  It  can  be  but  little 
trouble  to  produce  that,  and  I  think,  under  the  same  circum¬ 
stances,  you  would  demand  as  much  yourself.” 

“  But  do  I  not  bring  a  reliable  witness  to  prove  that  this  is 
an  exact  copy  of  the  original  ?”  asked  the  visitor,  impatiently. 

“True,  but  my  request  is  reasonable,  and  I  think  jl  will  ad¬ 
here  to  it,”  he  replied;  and  the  gentleman,  with  his  companion, 
left  the  premises,  simply  remarking,  “You  will  hear  from  me 
again,  to-morrow.”  And  sure  enough,  he  did. 


I 


184 


GIVING  UP  THE  MAIL  KEY. 


Towards  sun-down  on  the  following  day,  the  abolisher  of 
post-offices  made  his  appearance,  and,  with  an  air  of  authority, 
without  uttering  a  word,  threw  the  extinguishing  document 
upon  the  counter.  The  post  master  took  it  up,  and  after  ad¬ 
justing  his  spectacles,  examined  first  the  outside.  It  had  the 
usual  printed  endorsement  on  the  right  hand  upper  corner, 
“  Post-Office  Department,  Official  Business,”  was  properly 
franked  by  the  Second  Assistant,  post-marked  u  Washington,” 
and  plainly  addressed  to  the  u  Post  Master,  M - ,  R.  I.” 

On  withdrawing  the  letter  from  its  covering,  it  had,  sure 
enough,  every  appearance  of  genuineness,  and  no  doubt  re¬ 
mained  that  it  was  the  official  action  of  the  Department.  The 
post-office  effects  were  accordingly  put  in  shape  as  hastily  as 
possible,  and  handed  over.  But 

“The  course  of  knavery  never  did  run  smooth.” 

Strong  suspicions  began  to  arise  that  the  neighboring  post 
master,  before  mentioned,  was  the  author  of  the  whole  transac¬ 
tion,  and  when  the  knowledge  of  a  motive  on  his  part  was 
supplied,  his  guilt  became  to  my  mind  clear  and  positive. 

It  appeared  that  at  the  time  of  the  establishment  of  the  now 
defunct  post-office,  there  was  a  tremendous  opposition,  in 
which  he  took  an  active  and  leading  part,  but  the  member  of 
Congress  for  that  District  favored  the  application  for  the  new 
office,  and  it  was  finally  granted.  Being  but  two  miles  from 
the  old  establishment,  there  was,  as  had  been  anticipated,  a 
considerable  falling  off  in  the  receipts  of  the  latter.  The  snake 
was  u  scotched,  not  killed,”  or  in  other  words,  post  master 
number  one  had  bottled  up  his  wrath,  and  was  biding  his  time. 
The  affair  had  now  become  with  him  a  matter  of  pride  as  well 
as  interest,  and  when  joked,  as  he  frequently  was,  about  his 
defeat  in  the  post-office  contest,  he  was  often  heard  to  say  that 
the  new  post-office  was  “  short-lived  any  way.” 

He  was  quite  an  active,  prominent  politician,  and  when  a 
new  nomination  for  Congress  was  to  be  made,  he  thought  he 
saw  his  way  clear.  He  struggled  hard  for  the  selection  of  a 


A  LADY  ASSISTANT. 


185 


personal  friend,  and  succeeded,  not  only  in  tlie  nomination, 
but  in  the  election.  But  when  the  pinch  came,  the  Honorable 
member  failed  him,  and  could  not  be  persuaded  to  take  the 
responsibility,  for  the  new  post-office  had  proved  really  a 
great  convenience  to  many  of  his  constituents  and  to  some  of 
his  friends,  personal  and  political. 

With  the  advantage  of  this  information  obtained  from  the 
ex-post  master  and  one  or  two  other  citizens  of  that  vicinity,  I 
proceeded  to  visit  the  office  which  at  one  gulp  had  swallowed 
up  the  other,  without  apparent  injury  to  its  digestive  organs. 
The  post  master  was  absent,  and  the  office  in  charge  of  his 
wife.  This  was  a  piece  of  good  luck,  for  it  would  enable  me 
to  examine  the  books  and  papers  to  greater  advantage,  and 
what  was  better,  to  interrogate  the  lady  and  her  lesser  half 
separately.  Two  or  three  points  were  very  important. 

Might  not  some  wicked  wag  in  the  Department,  knowing 
all  the  circumstances  of  the  case,  have  prepared  the  letter  in 
question,  and  sent  it  as  a  hoax  ?  This  could  be  easily  settled 
by  referring  to  the  account  of  mails  received,  for  the  record  in 
that  event  should  show  the  receipt  of  a  free  letter,  either 
direct  from  Washington,  or  from  the  Distribution  office  at  New 
York.  Then  another  test,  was  a  comparison  of  the  “  order,” 
with  the  hand- writing  of  the  post  master.  But  the  most  trou¬ 
blesome  point  of  all  to  reconcile,  was,  how  the  official  envelope 
had  been  obtained,  for  that  was  beyond  a  doubt  genuine. 

Introducing  myself  to  the  lady  assistant,  who  happened  to  be 
alone  in  the  office,  I  remarked, — 

u  I  am  in  pursuit  of  a  letter  which  should  have  come  hero 
from  New  York  in  March  last,  and  I  wish  to  see  if  your  New 
York  packages,  during  that  month,  were  all  regularly  received. 
Where  do  you  keep  your  transcripts,  the  books,  or  sheets,  you 
know,  upon  which  you  copy  your  post-bills  ?” 

They  were  taken  from  a  desk  and  laid  before  me.  Turning 
to  the  record  of  the  month  in  question,  not  a  single  free  letter 
was  entered  as  received  at  that  office  for  the  last  two  weeks  in 

March,  from  any  quarter  ! 

16  * 


186 


THE  OFFICIAL  ENVELOPE. 


u  Who  made  the  entries  in  this  hook  ?”  I  inquired.  u  My 
husband,”  was  the  prompt  answer. 

Having  the  general  style  of  the  “order”  in  my  mind,  I 
glanced  over  a  few  pages  of  the  book,  and  observed  several 
peculiarities  in  the  formation  of  some  of  the  capital  letters 
which  I  had  noticed  in  the  (to  this  time)  fatherless  document. 
It  was  written  in  bluish  ink,  and  so  were  the  pages  of  the  re¬ 
cords  made  at  about  the  same  time, — a  trifling  circumstance 
to  be  sure,  but  yet  a  link  in  the  chain  of  evidence.  The  wafer 
too,  used  in  sealing,  was  strikingly  similar  in  size  and  shade  to 
those  contained  in  a  large  box  upon  the  desk.  The  “  order” 
was  on  a  half  sheet  of  letter  paper  of  different  size  and  stamp 
from  the  wrapper  enclosing  it. 

It  now  remained  to  establish  some  reasonable  theory  to  ac¬ 
count  for  his  possession  of  a  genuine  official  envelope.  Some 
farther  reflection  supplied  that  theory  which  in  the  sequel 
proved  to  be  the  correct  one.  The  date  of  the  Washington 
post-mark  I  had  before  noticed,  was  very  indistinct,  in  fact 
could  not  be  made  out/although  the  word  “  Washington”  and 
“  March”  were  tolerably  plain.  At  that  time  the  present 
style  of  envelopes  were  not  much  in  use  by  the  Department. 

Could  it  not  be  an  old  wrapper,  or  the  “  fly  leaf”  of  some 
former  official  document  from  head  quarters  ?  This  idea  was 
certainly  favored  by  the  fact  that  on  one  side  it  presented  a 
ragged  appearance  as  if  torn  from  another  half  sheet ;  and  if  its 
fellow  could  be  found  on  the  premises,  the  two  parts  must 
necessarily  fit  together,  and  conclusively  show  that  a  branch  of 
the  Appointment  office  had  really  been  temporarily  established 
without  authority  of  law,  not  far  from  that  locality. 

It  was  now  late  in  the  afternoon,  and  the  post  master  still 
absent,  though  momentarily  expected  home.  An  invitation 
to  take  tea  with  the  good  lady,  was  the  more  readily  accepted, 
from  a  desire  to  prevent  any  comparing  of  notes  between  them 
with  respect  to  the  inquiries  and  examination  already  made 
At  the  table  I  ventured,  for  the  first  time,  to  broach  the  sub 
jeet  of  the  “  stoppage”  affair. 


RETURN  OF  THE  POST  MASTER. 


187 


“  I  believe  the  last  time  I  passed  over  this  route,  you  had 
two  post-offices  in  town/’  I  remarked. 

“  Yes/'  was  the  reply,  “  but  it  made  so  much  bother,  and 
did  so  little  good,  that  it  was  abolished  some  months  since." 

In  her  manner  of  receiving  this  remark,  I  could  discover 
no  proof  of  a  participation  in,  or  knowledge  of  the  process  by 
which  the  rival  concern  had  been  gotten  rid  of.  And  I  might 
as  well  say  in  this  connection  as  anywhere  else,  that  I  have 
never  in  my  own  official  experience,  known  any  instance  of  a 
wife  or  child  being  made  an  accomplice,  partner  or  confidant, 
“  before  the  fact,"  in  the  commission  of  serious  post-office 
offences.  Prying  ladies  have  sometimes,  however,  from  curi¬ 
osity,  rather  than  pecuniary  considerations,  exhibited  a  remark¬ 
able  aptness  in  getting  at  the  written  contents  of  letters, 
without  the  consent  or  knowledge  of  the  owners. 

The  cloth  had  not  long  been  removed  before  the  post 
master’s  approach  was  heralded  by  the  scratching  at  the  door 
of  a  large  Newfoundland  dog,  the  circumstance  being  at  once 
noted  by  the  lady  as  indicative  of  the  safe  return  of  her  hus¬ 
band.  In  a  moment  more  the  sound  of  the  horse’s  hoofs  were 
distinctly  heard,  and  as  soon  as  the  nag  had  been  passed  over 
to  a  boy  we  had  left  in  the  office,  the  post-office  annihilator 
entered. 

*  4  • 

u  My  dear,"  says  the  affectionate  wife,  u  you  have  got  back 
once  more."  And  with  this  salutation  she  announced  her  guest, 
as  u  a  gentleman  who  had  come  to  see  about  some  post-office 
business." 

He  eyed. me  rather  closely,  and  with  a  much  less  amiable 
expression  than  he  assumed  on  learning  that  I  was  a  near  rela¬ 
tive  of  his  (i  Uncle  Sam,"  which  I  saw  it  was  essential  to 
make  known  to  him,  in  order  to  secure  decent  treatment;  for 
he  was  decidedly  savage  in  his  looks  and  manners  on  the  first 
introduction,  taking  me  no  doubt  for  some  troublesome  cus¬ 
tomer  (as  I  eventually  proved  to  be,  by  the  way,)  who  had 
come  to  bother  him  about  some  trifling  affair. 

An  intimation  that  I  would  like  to  see  him  at  the  post-office 


188 


THE  INTERVIEW. 


was  sufficient.  We  soon  found  ourselves  tliere  alone,  and  I 
commenced  interrogating  him  thus  : — 

“  Did  you  receive  notice  from  the  Department  in  March  last 
of  the  discontinuance  of  the  office  at  P.  V ’ 

“  I  did,  and  was  ordered  to  take  possession  of  the  property 
of  the  Department,”  he  replied.  “  The  old  gentleman,”  said 
he,  “  rather  hated  to  yield ;  hut,  when  I  showed  him  the  docu¬ 
ments,  he  caved  in  and  made  the  best  of  it.  The  fact  is,  the 
office  never  ought  to  have  been  created  at  all.” 

“  When  did  the  order  reach  your  hands  ?”  I  asked ;  “  and 
do  you  remember  the  circumstance  of  its  arrival  in  the  mail?” 

“  I  well  remember  all  about  it,”  said  he ;  “  I  opened  the 
mail  that  day  myself,  as  usual.  I  think  it  was  one  of  the  last 
days  in  March.  I  shall  never  forget  the  astonished  look  of 
neighbor  N.,  as  he  perused  the  order  converting  him  into  a 
private  citizen  once  more.” 

“  He  wasn’t  satisfied  with  a  certified  copy  of  the  unwelcome 
document,  was  he?”  I  remarked.  “And,  by  the  way,  what 
was  the  object  of  serving  a  copy  of  the  paper  on  him?” 

“Well,”  he  rejoined,  with  a  slight  embarrassment,  “the 
fact  is,  I  thought  I  had  better  retain  the  original  for  my  own 
protection,  in  case  of  any  fuss.  He  had  to  have  it,  however, 
before  he  would  shut  up  shop.” 

At  this  juncture  I  produced  the  “order,”  and  laying  it 
before  him,  requested  that  he  would  turn  to  the  entry  of  a  free 
letter  on  his  “  mails  received,”  at  the  time  of  the  receipt  of 
this  one.  The  search  was  in  vain,  as  I  well  knew  it  would  be ; 
and  he  undertook  to  explain  that  circumstance  by  claiming  that 
official  letters  frequently  came  from  Washington  without  wrap¬ 
per  or  post-bill. 

By  this  time  he  evidently  began  to  construe  my  inquiries 
into  a  suspicion  of  his  fraudulent  conduct ;  and,  as  in  all  such 
cases,  every  attempt  to  extricate  himself  only  made  the  matter 
worse. 

“  Come  to  think  of  it,”  said  he,  “  I  was  absent  from  home 
the  day  that  letter  arrived,  and  on  my  return  I  took  it  from 


EMBARRASSMENT  OF  GUILT. 


189 


my  private  box  where  my  letters  are  put/’  at  the  same  time 
pointing  to  a  pigeon-hole  in  a  small  letter-case  over  the  desk. 

u  And  would  your  wife  open  the  mail  in  your  absence  ?”  I 
inquired. 

Receiving  an  affirmative  answer,  I  requested  him  to  call  her, 
taking  care  that  they  should  hold  no  private  conversation. 
Exhibiting  to  her  the  outside  of  the  letter,  I  asked  if  she 
recollected  taking  it  from  the  mail  and  placing  it  in  the  post 
master’s  box.  They  exchanged  glances,  and,  on  the  second 
look  towards  him,  I  was  just  in  time  to  observe  a  trifling  nod 
of  the  head  by  way  of  intimating  that  she  had  better  say  yes. 
But  she  thought  otherwise,  and  was  quite  positive  that  if  such 
a  thing  had  come  loose  in  the  bag,  at  any  time  when  she 
opened  the  mail,  she  would  have  noticed  it. 

“  To  come  right  to  the  point,”  said  I,  u  this  document  is 
disowned  by  the  Department,  and  no  authority  has  been  given 
to  any  one  to  discontinue  the  other  office.” 

A  forced  laugh  from  the  post  master  followed  this  announce¬ 
ment,  but  the  honest  wife  looked  worried. 

“  Well,”  he  answered,  “if  it  did  not  come  from  the  Ap¬ 
pointment  Office,  then  some  mischievous  clerk  in  the  Depart¬ 
ment  may  have  sent  it  as  an  April-fool  hoax,  as  it  was  near 
the  first  of  April ;  or  some  one  may  have  slipped  it  into  my 
private  box  unobserved,  though  no  one  could  well  do  it  unless 
it  was  the  boy  that  you  see  about  here.” 

“  I  see  no  motive  that  he  could  have  had  for  doing  it,”  I 
observed. 

u  But  he  might  possibly  have  been  hired  to  do  it,”  was  the 
reply. 

In  accounting  for  the  envelope,  it  now  became  an  important 
point  to  settle  whether  or  not  the  post  master  had  been  in  the 
habit  of  preserving  all  official  circulars  from  the  Department. 
If  so,  and  this  envelope  had  been  torn  from  one  of  them,  the 
remaining  fragment  might  still  come  to  light  as  his  certain 
accuser.  A  search  of  the  files  showed  the  preservation  of  all 
such  (fbcuments  for  two  years  previous,  but  nothing  appeared 
to  match  the  covering  of  the  “  order.” 


190 


DUPLICATE  CIRCULAR. 


Still  believing  it  was  obtained  in  that  way,  I  adjourned  the 
investigation  for  a  few  days,  and  meantime  applied  to  the 
Department  for  duplicates  of  any  printed  circulars  that  had 
been  sent  to  this  office,  and  the  return  mail  brought  me  one 
that  was  so  sent,  but  a  few  weeks  previous  to  the  fraud  in 
question.  Its  absence  from  the  post  master’s  files,  while  all 
other  similar  documents  had  been  carefully  saved,  was  a  strong 
circumstance  to  show  that  a  part  of  it  at  least  had  been  used 
for  this  dishonest  purpose.  But  the  damning  proof  was  yet 
to  come.  In  the  printed  words  “  Official  Business/’  which 
were  in  capitals  on  the  outside  of  the  duplicate  circular,  there 
was  a  defect,  or  “  nick”  in  the  letter  0,  and  the  last  S,  in 
business.  On  comparing  this  with  the  covering  of  the  spuri¬ 
ous  order,  exactly  the  same  bruises  were  found  in  the  same 
letters,  identifying  the  one  with  the  other  in  the  most  posi¬ 
tive  manner,  as  the  coincidence  would  be  almost  miraculous 
if  the  same  type  being  battered  in  precisely  the  same  way, 
upon  circulars  printed  at  different  times. 

'  Nor  was  this  all.  In  folding  the  circular  before  the  ink  was 
fairly  dry,  some  parts  of  the  printed  words  in  the  body  of  it 
had  “  struck  off”  upon  the  inner  side  of  the  “fly  leaf,” 
which  parts  of  words  could,  by  a  strong  light,  be  distinctly 
observed  upon  several  lines  directly  under  each  other.  Defer¬ 
ring  to  the  printed  page  of  the  entire  circular  received  for 
examination  and  comparison,  a  copy  of  which  was  known  to 
have  been  sent  to  this  post-office,  the  same  words  were  found 
to  occur ,  and  'precisely  in  the  same  relative  positions. 

Thus  was  the  final  link  in  the  chain  of  evidence  closed  and 
riveted ;  a  chain  which  held  the  guilty  one  in  its  unyielding 
grasp,  and  set  at  nought  all  attempts  at  evasion  or  escape,  had 
he  been  disposed  to  make  them.  Hi£  only  alternative  was 
silence  or  confession,  and  of  these  he  chos«  the  latter. 

A  full  report  of  all  the  facts  above  stated  was  made  to  the 
Department,  and  the  tricky  post  master  soon  received  an  offi¬ 
cial  letter  from  Washington,  concerning  whose  genuineness 
the  most  sceptical  could  have  no  doubt.  In  this  case*  u  the 


JUSTICE  SECURED. 


191 


engineer  was  hoist  with  his  own  petard.”  In  stopping  his 
neighbor’s  office  he  was  himself  stopped;  and,  furthermore, 
received  a  reward  for  his  misdeeds,  the  nature  of  which  any 
future  post-office  stopper  will  learn  by  sad  experience. 

The  defunct  office  was  resuscitated,  and  its  former  incum¬ 
bent  reinstated  in  all  the  rights  and  privileges  of  which  he 
had  been  deprived  by  the  treachery  of  his  unscrupulous  op¬ 
ponent. 

Nothing  but  the  most  obstinate  determination  to  carry  his 
point,  at  all  hazards,  could  have  impelled  this  man  to  the  ex¬ 
treme  measures  which  he  adopted  for  ridding  himself  of  his 
rival.  Forgery  is  a  crime  of  sufficient  magnitude,  one  would 
think,  to  deter  from  its  commission  any  one  that  is  not  prepared 
to  go  all  lengths  in  the  execution  of  his  designs.  And  the 
present  case  shows  how  far  pride  and  self-will  may  carry  a  man 
who  yields  to  their  suggestions,  and  how  small  a  matter  may 
he  sufficient  to  raise  them  to  an  irresistible  height,  and  create 
a  tide  which  may  sweep  away  conscience,  and  honor,  and  all 
that  is  valuable  in  character,  to  say  nothing  of  an  enlightened 
regard  to  self-interest. 

The  man  whose  discreditable  exploit  we  have  recorded,  paid 
dearly  for  his  short-lived  triumph ;  and  whoever  is  in  danger 
of  suffering  his  pride  or  obstinacy  to  hurry  him  beyond  the 
hounds  of  prudence  and  virtue,  will  do  well  to  “  sit  down  first, 
and  count  the  cost.” 


\ 


CHAPTER  XI. 


Indian  Depredations — The  model  Mail  Contractor — Rifles  and  Revol¬ 
vers — Importance  of  a  Scalp — Indian  Chief  reconnoitering — Saving 
dead  Bodies — Death  of  a  Warrior — The  Charge — A  proud  Trophy. 

Sunset  on  the  Prairie — Animal  Life — A  solitary  Hunt — The  Buffalo 
Chase — Desperate  Encounter  with  an  Indian — Ingenious  Signal — 
Returning  to  Camp — Minute  Guns — A  welcome  Return. 

Previous  to  the  year  1850  there  was  no  regular  mail 
service  between  the  valley  of  the  Mississippi  and  New  Mexico 
and  Utah  Territories.  In  selling  lands  to  settlers  and  taking 
these  communities  under  the  protecting  care  of  the  nation,  the 
Government  was  hound  in  good  faith  to  give  them  a  regular 
mail.  This,  like  all  other  mail  service,  is  carried  on  without 
much  regard  to  the  question  whether  the  actual  receipts  from 
the  locality  will  he  remunerative  or  not. 

The  commencement  of  this  service  in  1850,  called  out  the 
energies  of  some  of  our  most  daring  and  enterprising  business 
men.  A  tract  of  country  nearly  one  thousand  miles  in  extent 
had  to  he  traversed,  where  there  were  no  civilized  inhabitants, 
and  hut  one  or  two  military  posts. 

The  Indian  tribes,  finding  their  game  disappear  before  the 
unerring  rifle  of  the  white  hunter,  and  learning  the  taste  of 
the  luxuries  of  civilized  life  without  the  industry  to  procure 
them,  became  at  first  sullen  and  despairing,  then  hostile  and 
revengeful.  A  detailed  account  of  the  u  hair  breadth  ’scapes,” 
the  dangers,  losses,  and  tragedies  in  encounters  with  hostile 

(192) 


MODEL  MAIL  CONTRACTOR. 


193 


Indians,  in  transporting  the  United  States  mails  across  these 
plains,  would  form  one  of  the  most  remarkable  chapters  in  the 
postal  history  of  the  world. 

One  mail  contractor  on  the  route  from  Independence,  Mis¬ 
souri,  to  Santa  Fe,  by  his  success  in  transporting  the  mails 
safely,  and  his  daring  and  diplomacy  with  the  Indians,  has 
become  eminent  among  his  countrymen,  and  dreaded  by  the 
hostile  tribes  whom  he  has  encountered.  The  treachery  so 
fatally  prevalent  in  meetings  between  small  bands  of  whites 
and  these  dark  sons  of  the  forest,  and  the  cunning  and  bold¬ 
ness  displayed  in  stealing  the  horses  and  cattle  that  belong  to 
the  u  pale  faces,”  have  made  it  necessary  that  great  caution 
should  be  used,  and  also  that  the  Indians  should  be  made  to 
feel  the  force  of  that  terrible  weapon  the  modern  rifle.  The 
Indian  has  long  since  learned  the  superiority  that  the  posses¬ 
sion  of  “  revolvers”  gives  to  the  white  hunters.  And  he  has 
also  learned  at  what  distance  it  is  safe  for  him  to  approach  the 
camp  or  the  traveling  party  of  his  foes.  They  do  not  consider 
that  there  is  much  security  in  any  distance  less  than  three 
hundred  yards,  when  well  mounted  and  in  rapid  motion. 

The  honor  attached  to  the  possession  of  scalps,  and  the 
dismal  forebodings  attending  the  loss  of  a  beloved  chief,  make 
all  the  tribes  particularly  cautious  that  their  leaders  shall  not 
be  too  much  exposed,  and  that  their  slain  shall  not  fall  into 
the  hands  of  the  enemy.  A  reckless  daring  displayed  by 
a  chief,  always  gives  him  honor  with  his  tribe,  and  this  is 
proportioned  to  the  success  which  attends  his  efforts  and  skill, 
whether  in  the  offensive  or  defensive. 

The  mail  contractor  before  alluded  to,  is  a  man  of  great 
humanity  as  well  as  courage,  and  prefers  making  now  and  then 
a  terrible  example,  rather  than  wage  an  indiscriminate  warfare 
with  tribes  inveterately  hostile. 

After  the  tragic  occurrences  attending  the  capture  and 
terrible  death  of  Mrs.  White,  with  several  others  in  a  party  of 
California  emigrants  near  Santa  Fe,  the  Indians,  emboldened 

by  success,  seemed  to  feel  that  they  had  the  power  and  did 

17 


194 


RIFLES  AND  REVOLVERS. 


not  lack  the  will  to 'drive  all  white  travelers  from  the  plains. 
Our  “  model  mail  contractor/'  in  addition  to  the  heavy  re¬ 
sponsibility  of  conveying  from  fifteen  hundred  weight  to  a  ton 
and  a  half  of  the  United  States  mails,  often  had  intrusted  to 
his  care,  coin  and  gold  dust  in  considerable  quantities,  and  the 
lives  and  effects  of  numerous  passengers. 

A  usual  “mail  train"  consisted  of  three  covered  wagons, 
tvith  elliptic  springs,  each  drawn  by  six  mules,  guarded  by 
eight  or  ten  men,  and  carrying  perhaps  as  many  passengers. 

Thirty  miles  a  day  was  a  usual  drive,  and  this  gave  several 
hours'  rest  in  every  twenty-four.  By  having  plenty  of  Sharp’s 
rifles,  and  Colt’s  six-shooting  cavalry  pistols,  the  entire  com¬ 
pany  of  men  and  passengers  formed  a  terrible  phalanx,  able  to 
fire  three  or  four  hundred  shots  without  any  delay  in  loading. 

The  Indians  soon  learned  to  respect  these  parties,  and  usually 
gave  them  a  wide  berth,  not  venturing  to  attack  them  though 
outnumbering  them  by  more  than  ten  to  one. 

Soon  after  the  above-mentioned  barbarous  transactions  near 
Santa  Fe,  the  mail  was  on  its  way  accompanied  by  the  con¬ 
tractor  himself.  One  morning,  marks  of  hostile  Indians  were 
quite  frequent.  A  large  camp  was  passed  where  the  fires  still 
turned,  and  newly  picked  bones  of  buffalo  and  deer  were 
scattered  around. 

In  the  course  of  the  forenoon,  several  Indians  were  seen, 
and  at  the  noon  rest,  their  whole  party  was  in  sight,  number¬ 
ing  apparently  one  hundred  and  fifty  or  more.  The  main  body 
kept  three  or  four  hundred  yards  off,  but  one  daring  warrior, 
evidently  their  chief,  would  ride  in  a  wide  circuit,  approaching 
sometimes  within  a  hundred  and  fifty  or  two  hundred  yards 
of  the  mail  wagons.  He  seemed  to  be  reconnoitering ;  and 
though  the  mail  party,  passengers  and  all,  did  not  exceed  a 
dozen  persons,  there  seemed  to  be  little  disposition  to  attack 
them.  The  chief — as  he  proved  to  be — was  splendidly 
dressed ;  the  long  feathers  on  his  head  waving  in  the  wind, 
and  mounted  on  a  milk  white  horse,  he  seemed  the  Murat  of 
his  nation. 


;  ;  .  ■  •  ; 

.  ‘  ‘  ’  !V’> 

'  •  . 

. 

. 

■ 


i 


'  j  ■  • 

- 


: 


DEATH  OF  A  WARRIOR. 


195 


A  shield  of  raw  hide,  dried  in  the  sun;  quite  common 
among  the  Indians,  covered  his  entire  person  from  his  saddle 
to  his  neck.  Though  within  rifle  shot,  his  swift  riding  and 
the  protection  afforded  by  the  shield,  gave  but  little  chance  for 
a  successful  shot.  In  the  most  daring  and  impudent  manner 
he  rode  several  times  in  a  semicircle,  reducing  the  distance 
between  his  followers  and  the  little  band  of  whites,  at  least 
one  half. 

The  mail  contractor  told  his  men  to  stand  by  their  arms, 
and  be  ready  for  an  attack.  He  then  took  his  Sharp’s  rifle 
and  lay  down  on  the  ground,  resting  his  gun  across  a  stone. 
He  looked  across  the  sights,  and  saw  the  chief  u  wheel  his 
daring  flight”  within  good  gun  range,  but  always  on  the  full  run 
with  his  head  just  in  sight  over  the  shield.  Each  Indian  is 
provided  with  a  rope  or  lariat  made  of  hide,  and  this  is 
fastened  by  one  end  around  the  rider’s  waist,  and  by  the  other 
to  the  saddle,  that  in  the  event  of  his  being  killed,  the  horse 
will  drag  off  the  dead  body  and  thus  prevent  its  falling  into 
the  hands  of  his  enemies. 

Some  accident  happened  to  the  chief  on  the  white  charger ; 
his  stirrup  broke,  or  something  took  place  which  obliged  him 
to  dismount.  He  was  then  about  a  hundred  and  seventy  yards 
from  the  mail  camp,  and  as  he  dismounted  on  the  farther  side, 
he  was  no  fairer  mark  than  before.  It  was  easy  enough  to 
shoot  down  the  horse,  but  that  would  accomplish  nothing,  as 
the  chief  was  nearer  to  his  friends  than  to  his  foes.  It  was 
evident  that  he  must,  to  a  certain  extent,  expose  himself,  when 
he  mounted,  and  as  he  sprang  up  in  his  stirrup,  his  breast  for 
a  moment  presented  a  fair  mark. 

The  sharp  ring  of  the  rifle  was  heard,  and  the  chief  lay  on 
the  ground,  while  the  blood  sprinkled  the  snowy  flank  of  the 
beautiful  charger.  He  was  shot  through  the  heart ! 

The  horse  sprung,  and  the  weight  of  the  dead  chief  broke 
the  lariat  clear  from  the  saddle.  The  consternation  among 
the  Indians  was  terrible.  Drawing  their  knives  and  pistols, 
the  mail  carriers  gave  a  yell,  and  charged  directly  at  the  whole 


106 


SUNSET  ON  THE  PRAIRIE. 


array  of  Indians.  The  head  of  the  little  band,  whose  success- 
ful  shot  had  so  opportunely  killed  the  chief,  had  given  orders 
not  to  attack  except  on  the  defensive,  but  nothing  could  re¬ 
strain  them )  and  appalled  as  much  by  the  daring  bravery  of 
the  whites  as  by  the  sudden  death  of  their  chief,  the  warriors 
broke  and  fled. 

The  scalp  of  the  unfortunate  Indian  was  soon  stripped  from 
the  skull,  and,  with  its  dark  and  flowing  locks,  formed  a  trophy 
of  the  short  combat,  and  made  the  subject  of  a  tale  around 
the  fireside  of  the  bold  and  hardy  pioneer. 

■  i  .  -  — 

"VVe  have  room  for  but  one  more  narrative  of  border  life, 
and  the  perils  of  mail  carrying  in  the  backwoods ;  and  this 
is  also  an  incident  in  the  life  of  our  11  model  mail  contractor.” 

At  a  period  anterior  to  the  events  just  related,  the  mail, 
with  quite  a  number  of  wagons,  was  wending  its  way  toward 
Santa  F6.  The  party  were  near  the  banks  of  the  Cimmeron, 
and  then  in  the  country  of  the  Arrapahoes.  Large  herds  of 
buffalo  were  constantly  visible,  but  no  Indians  had  been  seen 
for  some  days. 

It  was  a  beautiful  afternoon  in  June,  the  slowly  descending 
sun  illuminating  one  of  the  grandest  scenes  in  nature — a  broad 
rolling  prairie  covered  with  verdure,  and  presenting  one  check¬ 
ered  field  of  animal  life.  Beautiful  antelopes,  that  flew  rather 
than  ran,  and  scarce  seemed  to  touch  the  earth ;  stately  elks, 
with  branching  horns,  gallantly  guarding  their  gregarious 
herds,  and  the  unwieldy  bison,  far  more  numerous  than  all  the 
rest,  numbering  hundreds  of  thousands,  and  blackening  the 
plain  as  far  as  the  eye  could  reach.  Our  hero  of  many  an 
Indian  skirmish  and  numerous  buffalo  hunts,  mounted  his 
horse  to  go  and  select  an  animal  from  the  vast  herd,  which 
should  furnish  supper  for  his  party. 

He  was  mounted  on  a  fleet  animal,  but  after  getting  fairly 
away  from  the  train,  he  found  he  had  omitted  to  put  on  his 
spurs.  It  was  in  a  section  of  country  where  small  streams 
form  deep  ravines,  some  of  them  nearly  as  abrupt,  though  not 


BUFFALO  CHASE. 


197 


as  deep  as  the  awful  canons  of  the  Gila  and  the  head  branches 
of  the  Rio  Grande.  He  singled  out  a  fat  buffalo  cow,  and 
drawing  his  “  Colt,”  dashed  on  to  get  near  and  be  sure  of  a 
fatal  shot  at  the  first  fire.  Not  being  able  to  spur  his  horse, 
the  animal  led  him  a  rapid  race,  and  taking  a  path,  followed 
it  down  a  dark  ravine,  where  a  slender  stream  gurgled  idly 
between  its  banks. 

His  horse,  accustomed  to  the  sport,  went  faster  and  faster, 
and  neared  the  buffalo  at  every  spring,  till  she  suddenly  turned 
the  corner  of  the  bank,  now  near  the  bottom  of  the  ravine,  and 
some  fifty  or  sixty  feet  below  the  level  of  the  prairie.  The 
path  that  led  down  the  ravine  was  a  gradual  descent,  and  on 
each  side  were  some  scattering  trees  and  bushes. 

When  the  bluff  was  rounded  in  pursuit  of  the  buffalo,  the 
animal  was  but  a  few  yards  ahead,  and  then,  for  the  first  time, 
a  fair  mark.  Our  hero  was  nearly  ready  to  fire,  when  whiz  ! 
went  an  arrow  so  near  that  there  was  no  mistaking  its  sound, 
especially  to  one  whose  ear  was  practised  in  Indian  warfare. 

The  arrow  had  scarcely  ceased  its  whir,  before  a  mounted 
Indian  came  down  upon  our  buffalo  hunter,  from  behind  the 
bank  of  the  ravine.  His  lance  was  poised  in  its  u  rest,”  with 
the  butt  of  it  firmly  against  his  shoulder.  The  buffalo  passed 
from  sight,  and  the  Indian  instantly  appeared;  and  before 
there  was  a  moment  for  reflection,  the  u  white  hunter”  had  to 
u  wink  and  hold  out  his  iron.” 

The  lance  was  a  bright  piece  of  steel,  about  twenty  inches 
long,  on  a  pole  of  some  twelve  feet  in  length.  This  murder¬ 
ous  blade  was  aimed  directly  at  his  breast,  and  the  two  horses 
on  a  full  run  in  opposite  directions.  Our  contractor  had 
nothing  on  but  a  pair  of  trousers,  his  red  hunting  shirt,  and 
traveling  cap. 

The  Indian,  with  the  exception  of  some  long  feathers  on  his 
head,  was  naked  to  the  waist.  The  savage  observed  the  u  law 
of  the  road,”  and  took  the  right,  and  with  one  simultaneous 
and  almost  involuntary  movement,  the  u  pale  face”  dropped 
the  bridle,  and  with  his  left  arm  parried  the  approaching  blow 
17* 


198 


ENCOUNTER  WITH  AN  INDIAN. 


by  knocking  the  lance  upward.  The  blade  in  its  course 
ripped  the  hunting  shirt,  and  tore  the  muscles  from  his 
shoulder  ;  and  simultaneously  with  this  he  fired  his  u  Colt/’ 
and  saw  the  blood  spirt  from  the  naked  breast  of  the  Indian. 
The  slain  warrior  fell  heavily  to  the  ground,  while  the  white 
man’s  horse  turned  suddenly  to  the  right,  and  mounted  the 
bank  of  the  ravine,  which  was  here  so  steep,  that,  having  no 
longer  a  hold  of  the  bridle,  the  rider  came  near  tumbling 
backward. 

The  surface  of  the  prairie  was  gained,  and  near  two  hundred 
yards  measured  olf  by  the  horse  before  the  owner  had  time  to 
gather  his  scattered  thoughts.  He  attempted  to  grasp  the 
bridle,  but  found  his  left  arm  quite  powerless,  not  only  from 
the  wound  on  the  shoulder,  but  the  stunning  effect  of  the 
lance  on  his  fore-arm,  near  the  wrist.  With  a  rapid  move¬ 
ment  he  plunged  his  pistol  into  the  holster,  and  seizing  the 
bridle  with  his  right  hand,  drew  up  his  horse  and  dismounted. 

Every  movement  had  been  so  rapid  since  going  down  the 
path  into  the  ravine  after  the  buffalo,  until  he  emerged  in 
safety  on  the  plain,  that  he  had  not  reflected  a  moment.  He 
had  done  better;  he  had  acted. 

There  now  appeared  five  Indians,  all  mounted,  and  not  more 
than  two  hundred  and  fifty  yards  from  where  he  stood.  He 
instantly  formed  his  plan.  His  arms  consisted  of  his  revolver, 
and  a  double-barrelled  English  fowling-piece,  one  barrel  loaded 
with  ball,  and  the  other  with  buckshot.  He  unstrapped  his 
gun,  kept  himself  on  the  farther  side  of  the  horse  from  the 
Indians,  and  as  they  seemed  to  be  approaching  him,  he  made 
his  arrangements.  He  concluded  to  wait  until  they  arrived 
within  about  a  hundred  and  fifty  yards,  and  then  fire  with  his 
ball,  and  if  possible,  kill  the  foremost.  The  other  barrel  with 
the  buckshot  would  then  be  “  good”  for  two  more,  when  he 
would  have  five  loaded  barrels  of  his  “  Colt,”  with  only  two 
foes.  But  the  cowardly  villains  dared  not  attack  him.  Four 
of  them  retreated,  and  the  other  rode  a  little  nearer  to  recon¬ 
noitre. 


' 

- 

' 


- 

-mm 

■ 

■ 

*  • 


.  ;  ■ '  y ,  . 


' 


■  -  r~-  -  :  ♦. 


i, 

. 


* 


* 

-  ^ 


.  ’  . 


RETURNING  TO  CAMP. 


199 


The  Indian,  believing  he  knew  the  character  of  his  foe  as 
that  of  an  old  hunter,  was  sure  he  was  armed  with  one  or 
more  “  six-shooters.”  He  communicated  his  thoughts  to  his 
red-skinned  brethren,  by  riding  several  times  rapidly  round  in 
a  circle,  this  being  the  sign  given  by  the  Arrapahoes  when 
they  meet  white  men  armed  with  11  revolvers.” 

Being  satisfied  with  this  view  of  their  foe,  and  the  taste  they 
had  had  of  his  prowess,  they  turned  their  horses  and  disap¬ 
peared  down  the  ravine. 

Danger  was  not  yet  over,  and  our  friend  was  determined  to 
be  ready  for  whatever  might  happen.  He  rode  slowly  away 
for  fifty  or  a  hundred  yards,  and  stopped.  Thinking  he  had 
better  have  his  arms  in  as  good  condition  as  possible,  he  dis¬ 
mounted  and  thought  he  would  load  the  discharged  barrel  of 
his  pistol.  On  looking,  this  trusty  weapon  was  missing.  The 
holster  was  entirely  torn  away,  and  the  pistol  gone.  He  went 
back  where  he  had  waited  for  the  Indians,  and  there  lay  the 
pistol  on  the  ground. 

In  his  violent  effort  to  put  up  the  weapon  and  stop  the 
horse  while  one  arm  was  totally  disabled,  he  had  evidently 
thrust  it  in  the  holster  so  violently  as  to  tear  the  leather  away, 
and  the  weapon  unperceived  had  fallen  to  the  ground. 

Having  loaded  the  empty  barrel,  he  again  mounted.  The 
sun  by  this  time  was  just  setting.  The  Indians  and  the  long 
dark  ravine  lay  between  him  and  the  camp,  and  he  took  a  cir¬ 
cuitous  route  to  meet  the  train. 

After  going  some  four  miles  to  the  south-west,  he  came  to 
the  road.  By  the  light  of  the  moon  he  examined  the  track  to 
see  if  his  wagons  with  their  broad  tires  had  passed.  There 
were  no  ruts  but  those  made  by  the  narrow-tired  wagons  of  a 
Mormon  train  that  was  one  or  two  days  ahead  of  them.  He 
then  followed  back,  and  mile  after  mile  not  a  sound,  not  a  per¬ 
son,  not  an  animal,  or  a  camp  fire  broke  the  vast  solitude ! 
But  now  he  hears  a  gun  directly  ahead  of  him: 

Another  minute  and  another  gun ;  yes,  'tis  his  own  party 
camped  out  for  the  night,  firing  minute  guns  as  a  signal,  and 


200 


WELCOME  TO  CAMP. 


waiting  with  anxiety  and  fear  for  their  absent  leader.  He 
soon  rode  up,  and — in  the  words  of  the  narrator,  as  he  told  us 
the  story — u  how  the  boys  took  me  in  their  arms  and  hugged 
me  !  They  fairly  screamed  as  I  told  them  how  I  missed  the 
buffalo  but  didn’t  miss  the  Indian.  They  took  me  on  their 
shoulders  and  carried  me  three  times  round  the  camp.  We 
saw  no  more  of  the  Arrapahoes  during  the  journey  to  Santa 
F6.” 

Such  have  been  the  adventures  and  perils  of  carrying  the 
mails  between  the  far  outposts  of  civilization,  on  our  wild  fron¬ 
tier. 


CHAPTER  XII. 


Cheating  the  Clergy — Duping  a  Witness — Money  missing — A  singu¬ 
lar  Postscript  —  The  double  Seal  —  Proofs  of  Fraud  —  The  same 
Bank-Note — “Post-Boy”  confronted — How  the  Game  was  played — 
Moving  off. 

Our  collection  of  u  outside’’  delinquencies  would  be  incom¬ 
plete,  were  we  to  omit  the  following  case,  wbicb  was  investi¬ 
gated  by  the  author  not  long  ago,  and  in  wbicb  not  a  little 
ingenuity,  of  the  baser  sort,  was  displayed.  It  will  serve  as 
a  specimen  of  a  numerous  class  of  cases,  characterized  by  at¬ 
tempts  to  defraud  some  correspondent,  and  to  fasten  the  blame 
of  the  fraud  upon  some  one  connected  with  the  Post-Office. 
"VVe  could  give  many  instances  of  a  similar  kind,  did  our  limits 
permit. 

A  person  of  good  standing  in  community,  who  laid  claim 
not  only  to  a  moral,  but  a  religious  character,  was  visiting  in 
a  large  town  on  the  Hudson  river,  about  midway  between  New 
York  and  Albany.  This  person  owed  a  clergyman,  living  in 
New  Haven,  Conn.,  the  sum  of  one  hundred  dollars;  and  one 
day  he  called  at  the  house  of  another  clergyman  of  his  ac¬ 
quaintance  in  the  town  first  mentioned,  and  requested  to  be 
allowed  the  privilege  of  writing  a  letter  there  to  his  clerical 
creditor,  in  which  the  sum  due  that  gentleman  was  to  be  en¬ 
closed.  Writing  materials  were  furnished,  and  he  prepared 
the  letter  in  the  study  of  his  obliging  friend,  and  in  his 
presence. 


(201) 


202 


DUPING  A  WITNESS. 


After  he  had  finished  writing  it,  he  said  to  the  clergyman, 
11  Now,  as  the  mails  are  not  always  safe,  I  wish  to  he  able  to 
prove  that  I  have  actually  sent  the  money.  I  shall  therefore 
consider  it  a  great  favor  if  you  will  accompany  me  to  the  hank, 
where  I  wish  to  obtain  a  hundred-dollar  note  for  some  small 
trash  that  I  have,  and  bear  witness  that  I  enclose  the  money 
and  deposit  the  letter  in  the  post-office.” 

The  reverend  gentleman  readily  acceded  to  his  request,  and 
went  with  him  to  the  bank,  where  a  bill  of  the  required  de¬ 
nomination  was  obtained  and  placed  in  the  letter,  which  was 
then  sealed  with  a  wafer,  the  clergyman  all  the  while  looking 
on. 

They  then  went  to  the  post-office,  (which  was  directly  oppo¬ 
site  the  bank,)  and  after  calling  the  attention  of  his  companion 
to  the  letter  and  its  address,  the  writer  thereof  dropped  it  into 
the  letter  box,  and  the  two  persons  went  their  several  ways. 

The  letter  arrived  at  New  Haven  by  due  course  of  mail, 
and  it  so  happened  that  the  clergyman  to  whom  it  was  ad¬ 
dressed  was  at  the  post-office,  waiting  for  the  assorting  of  the 
mails.  He  saw  a  letter  thrown  into  his  box,  and  called  for  it 
as  soon  as  the  delivery  window  was  opened. 

Upon  breaking  the  seal  and  reading  the  letter,  he  found 
himself  requested  to  u Please  find  one  hundred  dollars,”  &c., 
with  which  request  he  would  cheerfully  have  complied,  but  for 
one  slight  circumstance,  namely,  the  absence  of  the  bank-note  ! 

This  fact  was  apparently  accounted  for  by  a  postscript, 
written  in  a  heavy,  rude  hand,  entirely  different  from  that  of 
the  body  of  the  letter,  and  reading  as  follows  : — 

■  j 

4m 

“  P.  S.  I  have  taken  the  liberty  to  borrow  this  money,  but  I  send 
the  letter,  so  that  you  needn’t  blame  the  man  what  wrote  it.” 

(Signed)  “Post-Boy.” 

The  rifled  document  was  immediately  shown  to  the  post 
master,  and  in  his  opinion,  as  well  as  that  of  the  clergyman, 
a  daring  robbery  had  been  committed.  The  latter  gentleman 
was  advised  by  the  post  master  to  proceed  at  once  to  New 


THE  DOUBLE  SEAL. 


203 


York,  and  confer  with  the  Special  Agent,  and  at  the  same  time 
to  lay  all  the  facts  before  the  Post  Master  General.  He  did 
so,  and  it  was  not  long  before  the  Agent  had  commenced  the 
investigation  of  the  supposed  robbery. 

In  addition  to  the  postscript  appended,  the  letter  bore  other 
indications  of  having  been  tampered  with,  which  at  first  sight 
would  seem  almost  conclusive  on  this  point.  Upon  the  envel¬ 
ope  were  two  wafers,  differing  in  color,  one  partly  overlapping 
the  other,  as  if  they  bad  been  put  on  by  different  persons  at 
different  times. 

Notwithstanding  these  appearances,  there  were  circumstances 
strongly  conflicting  with  the  supposition  that  the  letter  had 
been  robbed.  The  postscript  was  an  unnatural  affair,  for  no 
one  guilty  of  opening  a  letter  for  the  purpose  of  appropriating 
its  contents,  would  stop  to  write  an  explanatory  postscript, 
especially  as  such  a  course  would  increase  the  chances  of  his 
own  detection.  And  in  the  present  instance,  there  had  been 
no  delay  of  the  letter  to  allow  of  such  an  addition. 

By  a  visit  to  the  office  where  the  letter  was  mailed,  the 
Agent  ascertained  that  it  must  have  left  immediately  after 
having  been  deposited,  and  the  advanced  age  and  excellent 
character  of  the  post  master,  who  made  up  the  mail  on  that 
occasion,  entirely  cut  off  suspicion  in  that  quarter. 

An  interview  was  then  held  with  the  clergyman  who  wit¬ 
nessed  the  mailing  of  the  letter,  and  from  him  were  obtained 
the  facts  already  stated.  Concerning  the  writing  of  the  docu¬ 
ment,  and  its  deposit  in  the  letter  box  in  a  perfect  state,  after 
the  money  had  been  enclosed,  he  was  ready  and  willing  to 
make  oath,  and  had  he  been  called  upon  he  would  have  done 
so  in  all  sincerity  and  honesty. 

In  reply  to  an  inquiry  whether  he  used  more  than  one  sort 
of  letter  paper,  he  informed  me  he  had  had  but  one  kind  in 
his  study  for  several  months,  and  at  my  request,  immediately 
brought  in  several  sheets  of  it.  A  comparison  of  this  with 
the  sheet  upon  which  the  rifled  epistle  had  been  written, 
showed  that  the  latter  was  a  totally  different  article  from  the 


204 


THE  SAME  BANK-NOTE. 


first.  The  shape  and  design  of  the  stamp,  the  size  of  the 
sheet,  and  the  shade  of  the  paper,  were  all  unlike.  Moreover, 
the  wafers  used  at  the  bank,  where  the  hundred-dollar  note 
was  obtained,  and  the  letter  containing  it,  sealed,  were  very 
dissimilar  to  either  of  those  which  appeared  upon  the  “  post¬ 
boy”  letter. 

From  the  consideration  of  all  these  facts,  I  was  satisfied  that 
a  gross  and  contemptible  fraud  had  been  perpetrated  by  the 
writer  of  the  letter,  and  lost  no  time  in  proceeding  to  the  vil¬ 
lage  where  that  personage  lived.  I  called  upon  the  post  mas¬ 
ter  and  made  some  inquiries  relative  to  the  character  and 
pecuniary  circumstances  of  the  person  in  question.  From  the 
replies  made,  it  appeared,  as  I  have  already  stated,  that  his 
reputation  in  community  was  good. 

I  thought  it  might  be  possible  that  in  so  small  a  place,  1 
could  ascertain  whether  he  had  lately  passed  a  hundred-dollai 
note,  as  he  would  have  been  likely  to  have  done,  if  it  was  true 
that  he  had  not  enclosed  it  in  the  New  Haven  letter. 

Calling  at  the  store  which  received  most  of  his  custom,  I 
introduced  myself  to  the  proprietor,  made  a  confidant  of  him 
to  some  extent,  and  learned  that  the  very  next  day  after  that 
on  which  the  aforesaid  letter  was  mailed,  its  author  offered 
him  in  payment  for  a  barrel  of  flour,  a  hundred-dollar  note  on 
the  bank  from  which  a  bill  of  the  like  denomination  had  been 
obtained,  as  before-mentioned,  in  exchange  for  the  11  smal. 
trash.”  The  merchant  could  not  then  change  it,  but  sent  the 
flour,  and  changed  a  bill  which  he  supposed  to  be  the  same,  a 
few  days  afterward. 

Armed  with  these  irresistible  facts,  I  proceeded  to  call  on 
the  adventurous  deceiver  of  the  clergy,  who  had  attempted  to 
make  one  member  of  that  body  second  his  intention  to  cheat 
another.  u  Insatiate  archer  !  Could  not  one  suffice  ?” 

u  Mr.  T - ,”  said  I,  after  some  preliminary  conversation, 

u  it’s  of  no  use  to  mince  matters.  The  fact  is,  you  did  not 
send  the  money  in  that  New  Haven  letter.  You  offered  it  the 
day  after  you  pretended  to  mail  it,  at  Mr.  C.’s  store.  You  see 


MOVING  OFF. 


20b 


I’ve  found  out  all  about  it,  so  I  hope  you  will  not  deny  the 
truth  in  the  matter.” 

I  then  gave  him  his  choice,  to  send  the  hundred  dollars 
promptly  to  his  New  Haven  correspondent,  or  allow  me  to 
prove  in  a  public  manner,  the  facts  in  my  possession. 

Being  thus  hard  pressed,  and  finding  himself  cornered,  he 
confessed  that  he  had  prepared  the  letter  which  was  received 
in  New  Haven — postscript,  double  wafers  and  all — before  he 
left  home,  and  that  while  crossing  the  street  from  the  bank  to 
the  post-office,  he  substituted  this  for.the  one  he  wrote  in  the 
clergyman’s  study !  He  promised  to  send  the  money,  and 
pretended  to  have  suffered  severely  in  his  feelings,  on  account 
of  this  dishonest  act. 

There  is  no  United  States  law  providing  for  the  punishment 
of  such  an  offence,  but  public  opinion  and  private  conscience 
make  nicer  distinctions  than  the  law  can  do,  and  often  mete 
out  a  well  deserved  penalty  to  those  who  elude  the  less  subtle 
ministers  of  justice. 

In  the  present  instance,  the  foregoing  story  was  made  public 
by  direction  of  the  Post  Master  General ;  and  the  author  of 
the  trick,  unable  to  sustain  the  indignation  and  contempt  of 
the  community  in  which  he  lived,  was  compelled  to  make  a 
hasty  retreat  from  that  part  of  the  country. 


18 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

Young  Offenders — Thirty  Years  ago — A  large  Haul — A  Ray  of  Light. 

The  facts  of  the  following  case  were  furnished  me  by  a 
gentleman  connected  with  the  New  York  post-office.  I  will 
introduce  him  as  the  relator  of  his  own  story,  taking  some 
liberty,  however,  with  the  phraseology.  - 

It  is  one  of  the  too  numerous  class  of  cases,  of  which  mere 
boys  are  the  heroes,  (if  the  term  may  thus  be  perverted,) — a 
class  that  is  represented  in  this  work,  which  would  otherwise 
be  incomplete,  professing,  as  it  does,  to  illustrate  the  various 
phases  of  post-office  life,  as  respects  persons  of  different  ages 
and  conditions.  The  present  narration  will  show  that  our  own 
times  are  not  the  only  period  fertile  in  juvenile  rascality,  but 
that  the  youth  of  thirty  years  ago  were  too  frequently  set 
upon  evil. 

At  the  time  when  the  incidents  occurred  which  I  am  about 
to  narrate,  (viz.  in  the  year  1826,)  it  was  the  usual  practice 
in  the  New  York  office  to  make  up  the  morning’s  mails  on  the 
preceding  evening,  and  to  place  them  upon  tables  before  they 
were  entered  on  the  u  transcripts/’  (sheets  or  books  iti  which 
copies  of  the  post-bills  are  made,)  and  enclosed  in  wrappers. 
At  this  time  a  boy  twelve  or  thirteen  years  of  age  was  em¬ 
ployed  as  assistant  to  one  of  the  letter  carriers,  and  generally 
arrived  at  the  office  at  an  earlier  hour  in  the  morning  than  the 
regular  clerks.  The  nature  of  his  duties  made  him  well  ac- 

(206) 


A  LARGE  HAUL. 


207 


quainted  with  the  different  species  of  letters,  so  that  he  could 
determine  without  much  difficulty,  from  its  general  appear¬ 
ance,  whether  a  letter  contained  hidden  treasures  or  not. 

So,  by  way  of  beguiling  the  time  before  the  arrival  of  the 
clerks,  or  for  the  sake  of  a  little  improving  practice,  he  one 
morning  looked  over  the  Eastern  mail,  which  lay  spread 
before  him,  and  selected  a  letter  addressed  by  the  Cashier  of 
the  Farmers’  and  Mechanics’  Bank  of  New  York,  to  the 
Cashier  of  one  of  the  banks  in  Boston,  containing  four  thou¬ 
sand  dollars  in  bank-notes  of  one  thousand  dollars  each. 

On  the  discovery  of  this  “pile,”  the  boy  lost  no  time  in 
u  removing  the  deposits”  to  his  own  pocket,  substituting  for 
the  bank-notes  four  pieces  of  paper  of  an  equal  size,  cut  from 
wrappers  lying  on  the  floor.  He  then  resealed  the  letter  and 
replaced  it.  The  letter  was  forwarded  by  due  course  of  mail, 
and  when  it  was  received  at  the  bank,  the  Cashier  discovered 
to  his  dismay  that  the  money  by  some  jugglery  had  been  con¬ 
verted  into  brown  paper ;  and  the  evident  marks  of  breaking 
open  and  resealing,  indicated  unequivocally  that  some  human 
agency  had  been  engaged  in  working  the  spell. 

Information  of  the  loss  was  immediately  conveyed  to  the 
New  York  office,  much  to  the  consternation  and  grief  of  all 
concerned,  for  this  office  had  been  considered  a  model  one, 
and  the  clerks  had  taken  pride  in  sustaining  its  character,  to 
say  nothing  of  their  own ;  and  now  that  suspicion  was  thrown 
among  them  by  this  daring  act  of  dishonesty,  which,  from  ap¬ 
pearances,  must  have  been  committed  by  some  one  having 
access  to  the  mails,  they  felt  that  all  confidence  in  one  another, 
as  well  as  the  confidence  of  community  in  them,  would  be 
greatly  weakened,  until  the  author  of  the  deed  should  be  dis¬ 
covered.  It  was  suggested,  indeed,  that  the  robbery  might 
have  been  committed  in  the  Boston  office,  but  circumstances 
rather  favored  the  supposition  that  the  guilt  rested  with  New 
York. 

The  Post-Office  Department  at  Washington  was  apprised  of 
the  facts  in  the  case,  and  the  attempts  made  to  investigate  the 


208 


A  RAY  OF  LIGHT. 


matter  elicited  a  good  deal  of  correspondence,  which,  however, 
produced  no  successful  result. 

Among  other  expedients,  intimations  were  thrown  out  that 
a  thorough  search  should  be  made  of  the  residences  and  per¬ 
sons  of  the  clerks,  although  it  was  not  likely  that  the  thief, 
whoever  he  might  be,  was  so  green  as  to  keep  the  money  for 
such  a  length  of  time,  in  any  place  where  its  discovery  would 
be  positive  proof  against  him ;  and  if  the  search  were  unavail¬ 
ing,  the  only  result  would  be  the  infliction  of  mortification 
upon  those  who  were  innocent  of  the  crime. 

At  this  juncture,  a  ray  of  light  appeared.  It  was  1  hen  as 
well  as  now  the  practice  of  the  assorting  clerks  to  place  the 
letters  “missent”  and  u  overcharged,”  in  a  box  by  themselves, 
and  one  morning  a  letter  of  this  description  was  missent  to 
this  office,  directed  to  Jamaica,  L.  I.,  which  was  accordingly 
placed  in  this  box.  On  our  return  from  breakfast  this  letter 
was  found  to  be  missing.  As  the  boy  before  mentioned  was 
the  only  occupant  of  the  office  during  our  absence,  the  dis¬ 
appearance  of  the  letter  naturally  induced  the  belief  that  he 
had  taken  it.  This  second  instance  of  delinquency  assumed 
a  double  importance  from  the  fact  that  the  purloiner  of  this 
and  the  robber  of  the  Boston  letter,  were  in  all  probability  one 
and  the  same  person.  Every  exertion  was  therefore  made  to 
bring  the  truth  to  light. 

One  of  the  clerks  was  dispatched  to  Jamaica  to  ascertain 
whether  the  letter  might  not  have  been  somehow  received  at 
that  office,  but  his  proposed  investigations  were  prevented  by 
the  unofficial  behavior  of  his  horse,  which,  unmindful  of  the 
important  business  in  hand,  ran  away,  upset  the  carriage,  and 
spilt  out  its  contents.  The  clerk  was  so  much  injured  as  to 
be  unable  to  proceed,  and  therefore  returned  without  the  de¬ 
sired  information. 

On  the  next  morning,  while  the  u  drop  letters”  were  being 
assorted,  this  letter  was  found  among  them  and  was  identified. 
It  had  been  broken  open,  examined,  resealed,  but  not  robbed 
of  a  draft  for  a  large  amount  which  it  contained.  Near  the 


AN  ENTERING  WEDGE. 


209 


seal  were  written  with  a  pencil  the  words  “  Picked  up  in  Vesey 
Street.” 

The  hand-writing  was  believed  to  be  that  of  the  suspected 
boy,  and  he  was  immediately  charged  with  taking  and  break¬ 
ing  open  the  letter,  which  accusation  he  stoutly  denied,  but 
when  he  was  assured  that  we  knew  his  hand,  that  the  words 
which  he  had  written  on  the  letter  showed  conclusively  that 
he  knew  something  of  its  whereabouts  during  its  absence, 
and  that  it  was  our  determination  to  investigate  the  matter 
thoroughly,  his  courage  gave  way,  and  he  confessed  opening 
the  letter,  but  said  he  did  not  meddle  with  the  draft  which  it 
contained,  as  he  could  make  no  use  of  it. 

Having  thus  applied  an  entering  wedge,  I  lost  no  time  in 
turning  to  account  the  information  already  obtained,  which  I 
hoped  would  lead  to  the  detection  of  the  person  who  robbed 
the  Boston  letter.  Indeed,  I  was  entirely  unprepared  to  admit 
the  existence  of  two  such  rascals  in  the  New  York  office,  as 
such  repeated  instances  of  delinquency  would  imply,  and  was 
quite  positive  that  the  boy  before  me  was  the  only  culprit.  I 
accordingly  said  to  him,  “  Now,  Samuel,  I  am  glad  for  your 
sake  that  you  have  confessed  your  guilt  in  relation  to  this  let¬ 
ter,  and  I  hope  you  will  be  equally  frank  if  you  have  been 
doing  anything  else  of  a  similar  nature.  I  strongly  suspect 
that  you  robbed  the  Boston  letter  that  we  had  so  much  trouble 
about,  and  if  you  did,  the  best  thing  you  can  do  will  be  to 
confess  it.” 

“  No,  sir,”  replied  he,  “  I  don’t  know  any  more  about  this 
Boston  letter  than  you  do,  and  I  haven’t  touched  any  letter  but 
the  Jamaica  one.” 

“  It  is  useless,”  said  I,  “  for  you  to  make  such  assertions,  in 
the  face  of  the  probabilities  in  the  case.  You  have  confessed 
that  you  stole  one  letter,  and  that  renders  it  the  more  likely 
that  you  have  robbed  the  other.” 

“  Perhaps  it  is  likely,”  returned  he,  “  but  I  didn’t  do  it.” 

“  Well,”  said  I,  “take  your  choice.  If  you  persist  in  your 
denial,  you  must  meet  the  consequences,  and  you  know  that 
18* 


210 


THE  CONFESSION. 


this  kind  of  offence  is  punished  severely ;  hut  if  you  will  own 
up,  I  will  engage  that  you  shall  get  off  as  easily  as  possible.” 

By  such  considerations  I  finally  induced  him  to  acknow¬ 
ledge  his  guilt  in  relation  to  the  Boston  letter,  and  on  being 
questioned  further,  he  stated  that  he  still  had  the  bills,  and 
offered  to  show  me  the  place  where  they  were  concealed.  I 
at  once  started  off,  accompanied  by  him  as  my  guide.  We 
took  a  course  which  soon  led  us  out  of  the  city,  and  along  the 
banks  of  the  East  Biver. 

The  day  was  rainy,  and  a  mist  overhung  the  river  and  the 
land.  As  we  plodded  along  through, the  mud  and  wet,  the 
face  of  my  young  companion  was  shaded  with  a  sadness  which 
indicated  that  the  external  world  harmonized  in  its  gloom  with 
the  little  world  within. 

For  myself,  I  must  acknowledge  that  the  prospect  of  re¬ 
establishing  lost  confidence  among  my  fellow-employes  in  the 
post-office,  and  of  putting  an  end  to  the  suspicion  which  had 
haunted  almost  every  one,  as  well  as  restoring  the  stolen  pro¬ 
perty  to  its  rightful  owner,  produced  in  me  an  exhilaration  of 
spirits  strangely  at  variance  with  all  that  met  my  eye.  But 
as  we  continued  to  go  on  and  on,  with  no  signs  of  approach¬ 
ing  our  place  of  destination,  I  began  to  query  with  myself, 
whether  my  companion  might  not  contemplate  giving  me  the 
slip,  after  leading  me  a  wild-goose  chase.  I  could  not  see, 
indeed,  what  motive  he  could  have  for  such  a  proceeding, 
unless  he  wished  to  vent  his  malice  on  me  as  one  who  had  been 
prominent  in  detecting  his  misdeeds. 

But  he  kept  on  steadily,  till,  after  going  half  a  mile  or  so 
beyond  the  old  Penitentiary,  (a  distance  of  about  three  miles 
from  the  post-office,)  he  turned  from  the  road  and  stopped 
before  an  old  wooden  house,  apparently  uninhabited.  The  ex¬ 
terior  showed  signs  of  many  years’  conflict  with  the  elements, 
in  which  it  had  been  decidedly  worsted.  Moss  had  gathered 
upon  the  shingles,  and  the  paint,  of  which  there  was  here  and 
there  a  trace,  strengthened  by  a  feeble  contrast  the  dark  color 
of  the  parts  from  which  it  had  been  entirely  washed  away. 


HIDDEN  TREASURE. 


211 


Some  of  the  windows  were  destitute  of  glass,  and  probably 
served  as  a  mark  for  the  “  slings  and  arrows”  of  passing  boys. 

We  entered  the  building,  whose  damp  and  musty-smelling 
air  chilled  me,  heated  as  I  was  with  my  long  and  fatiguing 
walk,  and  ascending  a  flight  of  stairs,  the  boy  unlocked  the 
door  of  a  room  into  which  I  passed  by  his  request.  The  room 
contained  no  furniture  but  half  a  dozen  chairs,  a  table,  and  an 
old  bureau.  This  last  he  approached,  unlocked,  and  taking 
out  entirely  one  of  the  drawers,  he  showed  another  smaller  one, 
which  was  behind  the  first  when  that  was  in  place.  Opening 
this,  my  eyes  were  refreshed  with  a  sight  of  the  four  bills,  of 
which  I  immediately  took  possession,  and  thinking  it  well  to 
see  what  further  discoveries  I  could  make  in  this  terra  incog¬ 
nita,  I  found  a  little  drawer,  concealed  like  the  first  one 
behind  another,  and  containing  two  or  three  hundred  dollars 
in  bills,  which  the  precocious  youth  confessed  to  having  pur¬ 
loined  at  different  times  from  dead  letters,  which  were  usually 
laid  out  upon  tables  while  the  clerks  were  making  up  the  dead 
letter  account.  It  would  seem  that  the  boy  thought  no  more 
of  robbing  a  dead  letter,  than  do  the  camp-followers  of  plun¬ 
dering  dead  men  after  a  battle. 

After  examining  the  bureau  as  thoroughly  as  I  was  able, 
and  finding  no  more  of  the  ill-gotten  wealth,  I  asked  my  com¬ 
panion  whether  he  had  any  more  money  that  did  not  belong 
to  him,  to  which  inquiry  he  returned  a  negative  answer. 

The  place  of  concealment  was  certainly  well  chosen,  for  the 
old  house  would  be  the  last  place  to  which  any  one  would 
think  of  going,  who  was  in  search  for  anything  valuable.  It 
seemed  to  me  that  it  was  a  particularly  fortunate  circumstance 
that  the  discovery  was  made  at  this  time,  for  he  informed  me 
that  he  had  been  accumulating  the  money  found  in  the 
bureau  with  the  intention  of  intrusting  it  to  his  uncle,  for  the 
purpose  of  purchasing  some  property  in  Newburgh.  This 
would  have  been  a  rather  large  operation  for  a  youth  of  his 
age !  an  operation  even  worthy  of  some  specimens  of  Young 
America  at  the  present  day. ' 


212 


REFORMATION. 


It  seemed  remarkable  to  me,  as  it  doubtless  has  to  the 
reader,  that  tbe  boy  should  have  such  a  remote  and  strange 
hiding-place.  I  afterwards  learned  that  the  house,  the  back 
part  of  which  was  occupied  by  a  small  family,  belonged  to  an 
acquaintance  of  his,  and  that  he  used  the  room  as  a  place  of 
rendezvous,  with  some  of  his  companions,  and,  as  we  have 
seen,  as  a  receptacle  for  stolen  money. 

Having  accomplished  the  object  of  my  expedition,  I  re¬ 
turned  light  of  heart,  though  heavy  of  limb,  and  communi¬ 
cated  the  facts  as  soon  as  possible  to  the  Cashier  of  the 
Farmers’  and  Mechanics’  Bank,  and  to  the  post  master.  The 
lad  was  at  once  arrested,  tried,  and  found  guilty,  but  in  con¬ 
sideration  of  his  youth,  and  his  apparent  ignorance  of  the  ex¬ 
tent  of  his  crime,  and  the  recovery  of  the  property,  he  was 
sent  to  the  House  of  Befuge  for  three  years. 

The  boy’s  reformation  was  permanent,  as  I  have  been 
informed  by  one  who  afterwards  knew  him,  when  he  had  re¬ 
moved  to  a  distant  place,  and  established  a  good  character. 
If  this  was  so,  (which  there  is  no  reason  to  doubt,)  it  fur¬ 
nishes  an  instance  of  the  salutary  effects  arising  from  early 
detection  in  a  course  of  crime,  especially  to  those  who  are  not 
yet  hardened  in  iniquity.  The  whole  case,  also,  shows  the 
danger  of  allowing  boys,  with  principles  hardly  established  as 
yet,  and  destitute  of  that  firmness  which  habit  and  persever¬ 
ance  bestow,  to  occupy  responsible  stations  in  large  offices, 
where  the  apparent  facility  for  the  commission  of  crime  and 
the  temptations  offered,  too  often  subvert  the  honesty  which 
has  not  yet  ripened  into  a  second  nature. 


GHAPTEK  XIV. 


OBSTRUCTING  THE  MAIL. 

A  sound  Principle — A  slow  Period — A  wholesome  Law — “Ahead  of 
the  Mail” — Moral  Suasion — Indignant  Passengers — Dutch  Oaths — 
A  Smash — Interesting  Trial — A  rowdy  Constable — The  Obstruc¬ 
tors  mulcted. 

k 

The  proper  adjustment  of  the  various  interests,  great  and 
small,  which  are  involved  in  the  every-day  life  of  a  nation  like 
ours,  is  a  problem  not  always  very  easy  of  solution,  yet  one  of 
vital  importance  to  the  well-working  of  the  social  machine. 
Indeed,  it  has  ever  been  an  important  part  of  legislation  to 
determine  the  relative  magnitude  of  different  interests,  both 
public  and  private,  and  to  assign  to  each  its  proper  place  in 
the  scale. 

Republican  principles  require  that  the  less  should  yield  to 
the  greater — individual  convenience  to  public  good.  And  an 
excellent  illustration  of  the  practical  application  of  these  prin¬ 
ciples  by  the  wisdom  of  Congress,  is  found  in  the  provisions 
which  that  body  has  made  to  secure  the  uninterrupted  trans¬ 
mission  of  th$  mails. 

•  It  is  unnecessary  to  enlarge  upon  the  vast  importance  of 
punctuality  in  this  branch  of  the  public  service.  Time,  as 
an  element  in  business  transactions,  is  increasing  in  value  in 
proportion  to  the  multiplication  of  devices  for  obtaining  the 
greatest  results  possible  from  each  passing  moment.  An  hour 

(213) 


A  SLOW  PERIOD. 


214 

in  the  present  year,  represents  more — more  business — more 
planning — more  results  of  various  kinds,  than  did  an  hour 
thirty  years  since. 

To  take,  for  instance,  the  matter  of  traveling.  The  state 
of  things  no  longer  exists  which  will  permit  public  convey¬ 
ances  to  take  pretty  much  their  own  time  in  starting  and  in 
arriving  at  their  destinations.  That  was  a  distressingly  u  slow” 
period,  when  horses  were  in  their  glory,  and  wayside  taverns 
afforded  comforts  and  luxuries  which  are  poorly  replaced  by  the 
eating,  or  rather  devouring  department  of  a  rail  road  depot, 
where  ravenous  passengers,  like  the  Israelites  of  old,  are 
obliged  to  dispatch  their  repast,  girded  up  for  flight,  at  a  mo¬ 
ment’s  notice,  instead  of  comfortably  and  deliberately  sitting 
down  under  the  auspices  of  u  mine  host,”  to  a  meal  which  de¬ 
served  more  respectful  attention  than  could  be  given  it  in  a 
less  space  of  time  than  half  an  hour ;  the  driver,  meanwhile, 
being  easy  in  his  mind  on  the  subject  of  u  connecting,”  inas¬ 
much  as  he,  the  connector ,  felt  quite  certain  that  the  connectee 
would  not  leave  him  in  the  lurch,  as  u  lee-way”  of  an  hour  or 
two  was  allowed,  and  often  required,  by  the  exigencies  of 
traveling.  But  since,  by  the  agency  of  steam,  an  hour  swal¬ 
lows  up  thirty  miles  instead  of  four  or  five,  minutes  become 
correspondingly  precious,  and  the  locomotive  infuses  somewhat 
of  its  own  energy  into  every  mode  of  progression. 

The  inexorable  hand  of  the  rail-way  clock  waits  not  for 
dilatory  drivers,  and  makes  no  allowances  for  detention,  una¬ 
voidable  or  otherwise.  Here  comes  in  the  application  of  our 
republican  principle.  If  it  were  in  the  power  of  any  one  to 
delay  the  progress  of  the  vehicle  containing  the  mail,  to  suit 
his  whim  or  convenience,  the  public  interests  would  often  be 
seriously  interfered  with ;  and,  in  order  to  prevent  such  con¬ 
tingencies,  the  following  law  was  enacted  by  Congress  : — 

And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  if  any  person  shall,  knowingly  and 
wilfully,  obstruct  or  retard  the  passage  of  the  mail,  or  of  any  driver 
or  carrier,  or  of  any  horse  or  carriage,  carrying  the  same,  he  shall. 


A  WHOLESOME  LAW. 


215 


upon  conviction  for  every  such  offence,  pay  a  fine  not  exceeding  one 
hundred  dollars ;  and  if  any  ferryman  shall,  by  wilful  negligence,  or 
refusal  to  transport  the  mail  across  any  ferry,  delay  the  same,  he 
shall  forfeit  and  pay,  for  every  ten  minutes  that  the  same  shall  be 

so  delayed,  a  sum  not  exceeding  ten  dollars. 

/ 

It  is  obviously  right  that  the  pleasure  of  an  individual 
should  not  weigh  for  a  moment  in  the  balance,  with  the  in¬ 
terests  of  thousands  depending  as  they  do,  in  a  degree,  upon 
the  prompt '  transmission  of  correspondence.  Were  all  the 
consequences  of  simply  impeded  delivery  of  important  letters 
to  be  made  known,  the  record  would  be  a  melancholy  one 
indeed. 

In  crowded  cities  especially,  through  whose  streets  the  mails 
are  many  times  a  day  conveyed  to  steamboats  and  rail  road 
stations,  it  is  particularly  important  that  all  obstacles  in  their 
way  should  be  removed ;  and  pains  "have  been  taken  to  make 
the  law  on  this  subject  generally  understood,  so  that  at  the  ap¬ 
proach  of  the  wagon  bearing  the  magic  characters  “U.  S. 
Mail,”  the  crowd  of  vehicles  which  throng  the  busy  streets, 
separate  to  the  right  and  left,  and  do  homage  to  that  supreme 
power — the  Public  Good. 

A  curious  trial  under  the  law  I  have  cited,  was  held  in 
Boston  before  the  United  States  Court,  about  two  years  since. 

It  appears  that  the  regular  mail-coach  from  Worcester  to 
Barre,  left  the  former  place  on  the  afternoon  of  January  8, 
about  half  past  four,  full  of  passengers,  and  ornamented,  as 
well  as  distinguished,  by  the  words  aU.  S.  Mail,”  painted  in 
conspicuous  letters  on  both  sides  of  the  foot-board. 

The  passengers  were  beginning  to  develope  those  sparks  of 
sociability  which  are  elicited  by  the  collisions  with  one  an¬ 
other,  and  the  stimulus  to  the  brain  resulting  from  sundry 
jolts  inseparable  from  the  vicissitudes  of  stage-coach  traveling. 
In  other  words,  the  coach  had  proceeded  about  two  miles, 
when,  arriving  at  a  place  where  there  was  some  ascent  in  the 
road,  it  overtook  three  one-horse  wagons,  which  made  way  for 
it  to  pass.  Very  soon,  however,  the  two  occupants  of  the 


210 


MORAL  SUASION. 


hindmost  wagon,  (whom  we  will  call  Stark  and  Baker,) 
whipped  up  their  steed,  and  rushed  by  the  coach,  like  some 
saucy  cutter  shooting  ahead  of  a  seventy-four.  After  this 
demonstration,  their  horse,  having  gained  four  or  five  rods  on 
the  coach,  subsided  into  a  walk. 

The  correspondingly  moderate  movements  which  the  driver 
of  the  coach  was  compelled  to  adopt,  did  not  very  well  suit 
his  views,  as  the  icy  road  and  his  heavy  load  formed  a  combi¬ 
nation  of  circumstances  which  rendered  him  anxious  to  make 
all  possible  speed,  in  order  to  fulfil  the  requirements  of  the 
U.  S.  Mail,  as  well  as  those  of  his  passengers.  But  he  was 
obliged  to  retain  his  humble  position  of  follower  to  the  wagon, 
for  the  road  at  that  point  was  too  narrow  to  admit  of  passing, 
and  as  no  other  means  of  attaining  his  object  were  at  his  com¬ 
mand,  he  proceeded  to  try  the  effect  of  moral  suasion. 

“  I  say,  you,  there,”  shouted  he  to  the  obstinate  couple  in 
the  wagon,  who  were  smoking  very  much  at  their  ease,  and 
apparently  busily  engaged  in  conversation,  “  I  wish  you’d 
drive  on  faster,  or  let  me  go  by  you.” 

“Couldn’t  do  it,”  replied  the  provoking  Stark,  “unless 
you’ll  race.” 

“It’s  none  of  my  business  to  race,”  returned  the  driver; 
“all  I  want  is  to  go  on.” 

“Well,  let’s  see  you  do  it,  then,”  said  Stark,  checking  his 
horse  still  more. 

They  soon  came  to  a  wider  portion  of  the  road,  and  the 
stage  driver  attempted  to  pass  the  wagon,  but  was  foiled  by 
the  dexterous  manoeuvring  iof  Stark,  who  so  accurately  ad¬ 
justed  his  motions  to  those  of  the  stage-coach  as  to  check-mate 
its  presiding  genius.  Upon  coming  to  a  still  wider  place,  the 
driver  outsailed  his  persevering  tormentor,  and  pushed  on  at 
a  rapid  rate,  say  seven  knots  an  hour,  indulging  the  sanguine 
hope  that  he  was  rid  of  his  Old  Man  of  the  Sea.  But  this 
expectation  was  short-livecl,  for,  on  arriving  at  a  curve  in  the 
road,  where  it  was  narrow  and  icy,  he  was  compelled  to 
“shorten  sail,”  whereat  Stark  added  wings  to  his  speed,  and 


.*:*>  W  I 


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. 

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r  i  . 

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_ 


I 


INDIGNANT  PASSENGERS. 


217 


ran  by  the  coach;  directly  afterward  reining  his  horse  into  a 
walk  as  before. 

A  succession  of  similar  manoeuvres  was  kept  up  till  the 
coach  reached  Holden,  a  distance  of  three  or  four  miles,  and 
during  this  time  the  facetious  Stark,  not  content  with  these 
highly  aggravating  proceedings,  added  insult  to  injury  by  per¬ 
sonal  reflections  on  the  skill  of  the  driver  and  the  character 
of  his  horses. 

u  Hallo,  you  driver  !”  shouted  he  derisively,  “  why  don’t  you 
drive?  If  there’s  any  of  your  passengers  in  a  hurry,  I’ll  take 
’em  on,  and  tell  the  folks  that  you’ll  be  along  in  the  course  of 
a  day  or  two.” 

To  this  the  driver  wisely  answered  nothing,  but  his  tor¬ 
mentor  did  not  profit  by  his  example.  After  some  ineffectual 
attempts  on  the  part  of  the  U.  S.  functionary  to  pass  the 
wagon,  which  were  foiled  as  before,  Stark  again  essayed  to 
beguile  the  time  with  a  further  display  of  his  conversational 
powers. 

u  Guess  your  horses  ain’t  very  well  trained  to  keep  the  road, 
are  they?  They  seem  to  go  from  one  side  to  the  other  as  if 
they  couldn’t  draw  a  bee-line.  May  be,  though,  they  are 
kinder  faint,  and  that’s  what  makes  ’em  stagger  about  so.  I’ll 
try  ’em.” 

So  saying,  he  proceeded  to  open  a  bag  which  lay  in  his 
wagon ;  and,  taking  from  it  a  handful  of  oats,  he  allowed  the 
horses  to  come  nearly  up  to  him,  when  he  held  out  the  grain 
to  them,  calling  “k’jock,  k’jock,”  as  if  he  was  desirous  of 
enticing  them  along. 

Before  this  time,  the  occupants  of  the  coach  had  become 
aware  of  what  was  going  on,  and  were  naturally  highly  indig¬ 
nant  at  the  imposition  practised  on  them  by  the  audacious 
Stark  and  his  fellow  conspirator.  One  irascible  gentleman  did 
not  bear  the  infliction  with  as  much  equanimity  as  his  u  guide, 
philosopher,  and  friend,”  upon  the  coach-box ;  but,  every  time 
that  the  wagon  passed  the  coach,  he  popped  his  head  out  at 
the  nearest  window,  and  fired  at  the  enemy  a  volley  of  reprc‘ti^i- 
19 


218 


DUTCH  OATHS. 


ful  epithets  that  could  be  likened  to  nothing  but  the  u  nine- 
cornered  Dutch  oaths,”  which  on  special  occasions  were  wont 
to  rumble  through  the  gullet  of  William  the  Testy,  at  the 
hazard  of  choking  that  illustrious  individual,  as  we  are  assured 
by  the  grave  and  matter-of-fact  historian  of  New  York. 

The  persevering  repetition  of  the  provocation  at  last  excited 
a  degree  of  rage  in  the  breast  of  our  peppery  friend  which 
could  not  be  allayed  by  the  expedients  we  have  mentioned. 
He  called  out,  u  Driver,  I  say,  stop  and  let  me  out,  and  Dll 
see  whether  this  sort  of  thing  will  go  on  much  longer.  Why 
don’t  you  stop  ?  Do  you  suppose  we  are  going  to  stand  this 
for  ever  ?  How  the  deuse  do  you  think  we  shall  ever  get  to 
Barre,  at  this  rate  ?” 

The  driver  advised  him  to  keep  cool,  telling  him  that  very 
likely  they  would  get  rid  of  the  wagon  before  long;  with 
which  opinion  another  of  the  passengers  coincided,  who  knew 
the  men,  remarking  that  they  belonged  in  Hubbardston,  and 
would  probably  turn  off  at  the  road  leading  to  that  place.  This 
road  was  beyond  Holden,  where  the  coach  stopped  at  the  pub¬ 
lic-house.  Here  the  men  in  the  wagon  came  up,  and  expressed 
a  wish  to  exchange  their  horse  for  the  four  coach-horses,  pro¬ 
vided  sufficient  u  boot”  were  offered  them.  To  this  imperti¬ 
nence  the  driver  made  no  reply;  but  the  fiery  passenger  inti¬ 
mated  to  them  that,  if  they  would  come  within  his  reach,  he 
would  give  them  boot  enough  to  make  their  accounts  foot  up 
even. 

After  leaving  the  mail,  the  coach  started  out  of  Holden, 
preceded  by  the  wagon,  which  dodged  back  and  forth  along 
the  road  as  heretofore.  They  passed  the  Hubbardston  road, 
but  the  men  did  not  turn  off ;  and,  about  a  mile  from  Rutland, 
they  made  that  once-too-often  attempt  which  such  mischievous 
individuals  usually  make  somewhere  along  their  course.  The 
patience  of  the  much-enduring  driver  had  become  finally 
exhausted;  and,  as  the  annoying  wagon  was  in  the  act  of 
passing  him,  at  a  rather  narrow  place  in  the  road,  he  drove 
Ox  without  particular  reference  to  that  vehicle,  and  experi- 

/  J 

/ 


A  SMASH. 


219 


mentally  tested  the  relative  strength  of  the  fore  wheel  of  the 
coach  and  the  body  of  the  wagon.  The  latter  structure  was 
“  nowhere/'  or,  to  speak  more  accurately,  it  was  resolved  into 
its  original  elements ;  while  the  aforesaid  wheel  rolled  away 
uninjured,  bearing  its  share  of  the  triumphant  passengers. 

The  occupants  of  the  smashed  vehicle  survived  the  “  wreck 
of  matter  ;"  whether  with  a  whole  skin  or  not,  does  not  appear, 
as  the  personal  knowledge  of  the  driver,  as  stated  on  the  trial, 
was  summed  up  in  the  words,  “  I  left  ’em  there  /" 

In  consequence  of  the  proceedings  which  have  been 
described,  the  coach  arrived  at  Barre  an  hour  and  a  quarter 
behind  the  time. 

It  having  been  thought  advisable  to  prosecute  these  men  for 
obstructing  the '  mail,  a  suit  was  brought  against  them  in  the 
U.  S.  District  Court  of  Massachusetts. 

The  evidence  on  the  part  of  Government  went  to  show  that 
they  must  have  known  the  character  of  the  coach  :  that  it  car¬ 
ried  the  mail,  for  the  words  “  U.  S.  Mail"  were  conspicuously 
painted  on  the  coach;  and  the  sign  “  Post-Office"  was  up  at 
the  place  in  Holden  where  the  mail  was  taken  out,  and  where 
they  saw  the  coach  stop.  Also  the  men  were  known  by  sight 
to  some  of  the  passengers ;  and  one  of  them  had  been  a  stage¬ 
coach  proprietor,  and  the  other  had  driven  a  coach.  Indeed, 
one  of  the  passengers,  while  they  were  at  Holden,  addressed 
Baker,  whom  he  knew,  by  name,  and  told  him  “he  should 
think  that  he  had  been  in  the  stage  business  long  enough  to 
know  better." 

The  passengers  were  unanimous  in  considering  the  case  as 
clearly  one  of  wilful  detention. 

The  testimony  for  the  defence  was  rather  lame.  The  post 
master  at  Rutland  testified  that  the  mail  from  Worcester  was 
due  at  7  P.  M.,  though  he  had  known  it  three-quarters  of  an 
hour  later.  He  thought  it  arrived,  on  the  evening  in  question, 
at  5  minutes  past  7 ;  but  could  not  say  certainly  that  the  8th 
of  January  was  the  night  when  the  mail  arrived  at  that  time, 
though  he  had  no  doubt  of  it,  nor  had  he  looked  at  his  register 


220 


A  ROWDY  CONSTABLE. 


since  that  night.  In  short,  his  evidence  amounted  to  a  rough 
guess,  which  could  make  no  impression  on  the  Gibraltar  of 
opposing  testimony  furnished  by  a  coach  full  of  passengers,  as 
well  as  other  witnesses. 

Another  witness  for  the  defence  testified  that  Stark’s  horse 
was  “  smooth-shod,”  with  the  view  of  establishing  the  extreme 
improbability  of  the  alleged  performances,  as  the  road  was  icy, 
and  rapid  motion  therefore  hazardous  to  an  animal  thus  shod. 
But,  as  the  quadruped  in  question  was  shown  actually  to  have 
done  the  thing,  this  ingenious  theory  was  set  aside,  although 
a  slur  was  thus  cast  upon  Mr.  Stark’s  character  as  a  prudent 
driver. 

But  the  crowning  shame  of  Stark’s  delinquency  consisted  in 
the  fact  that  he  was  constable  and  tax-collector  of  the  town  of 
Hubbardston.  History  is  not  without  instances  of  monarchs 
and  others  high  in  authority,  who  have  descended  to  the  indul¬ 
gence  of  freaks  inconsistent  with  the  dignity  of  their  station ) 
and  Shakspeare  has  immortalized  the  frolics  of  Prince  Henry. 
But  neither  historian  nor  poet  has  hitherto  been  able  to  record 
of  a  constable  and  tax-gatherer  that  he  amused  himself  with 
maliciously  driving  a  smooth-shod  horse,  so  as  to  obstruct  the 
progress  of  the  United  States  Mail. 

This  man,  set  to  be  u  a  terror  to  evil-doers”  should  have 
been  a  terror  to  himself ;  indeed  we  may  conceive  of  him  as 
smitten  with  compunction,  and  arresting  himself — Stark  the 
constable  tapping  himself  on  the  shoulder.  At  least  he  should 
have  arrested  his  own  progress,  before  he  fell  from  his  high 
estate,  and  degenerated  from  a  constable  into  an  unlucky 
buffoon. 

The  questions  for  the  jury  were,  First,  Did  these  men  ob¬ 
struct  the  United  States  Mail?  And,  secondly,  Did  they  do 
so  knowingly  and  wilfully  ?  If  they  did  so  obstruct  the  mail, 
then  as  a  man  is  presumed  in  law  to  intend  what  is  the  natural 
and  necessary  consequence  of  his  acts,  in  the  absence  of  con¬ 
trolling  testimony  otherwise,  tho  inference  would  inevitably 


THE  OBSTRUCTORS  MULCTED. 


221 


follow,  that  their  conduct  in  this  affair  was  the  result  of  u  ma¬ 
lice  aforethought.” 

They  were  both  convicted,  and  sentenced  as  follows, — Stark, 
the  driver  of  the  wagon,  to  a  fine  of  thirty  dollars,  and  Baker 
to  a  fine  of  fifteen ;  thus  footing  up  the  pretty  little  sum  of 
forty-five  dollars  for  their  evening’s  diversion,  besides  the  de 
struction  of  their  wagon,  which  was  taken  into  the  account  in 
determining  the  amount  of  the  fines. 

Thus  ended  this  piece  of  folly,  the  record  of  which  it  is 
hoped  will  serve  as  a  warning  to  any  who  may  he  disposed  to 
try  similar  u  tricks  upon  travelers,”  since  they  might  not  get 
off  as  easily  as  did  the  pair  of  worthies,  whose  brilliant  exploit 
we  have  briefly  sketched. 


19* 


CHAPTER  XV. 


A  dangerous  Mail  Route — Wheat  Bran — A  faithful  Mail  Carrier 
—Mail  Robber  shot — A  “Dead-head”  Passenger. 

An  old  Offender — Fatal  Associate — Robbery  and  Murder— Conviction 
and  Execution— Capital  Punishment. 

Traveling  in  Mexico — Guerillas — Paying  over — The  Robbers  routed — 
A  “  Fine  Young  English  Gentleman” — The  right  stuff. 

In  the  early  annals  of  our  country,  many  instances  of  mail 
robbery  are  found,  some  of  which  occasioned  the  display  of 
great  intrepidity  and  daring,  a,s  the  perusal  of  the  following 
pages  will  show. 

While  the  country  was  yet  thinly  settled,  and  the  mails  were 
transported  on  horseback,  or  in  different  kinds  of  vehicles,  from 
the  gig  to  the  stage-coach,  often  through  extensive  forests,  which 
afforded  every  facility  for  robbery,  the  office  of  stage  driver  or 
mail  carrier  was  no  sinecure.  Resolute  men  were  required  for 
this  service,  who  on  an  emergency  could  handle  a  pistol  as  well 
as  a  whip. 

Some  thirty  or  forty  years  ago,  a  mail-coach  ran  in  the 
northern  part  of  the  state  of  New  York,  through  the  famous 
u  Chateaugay  woods.”  The  forest  was  many  miles  in  extent, 
and  common  fame  and  many  legends  gave  it  the  reputation  of 
a  noted  place  for  freebooters  and  highwaymen. 

One  morning  the  stage  driver  on  this  route  had  occasion  to 
examine  his  pistols,  and  found,  instead  of  the  usual  charge, 
that  they  were  loaded  with  wheat  bran !  A  daring  villain 

(222) 


MAIL  ROBBER  SHOT. 


223 


had,  through  an  accomplice,  thus  disarmed  the  driver,  prepar¬ 
atory  to  waylaying  him.  He  drew  the  charges,  cleaned  the 
weapons,  and  carefully  loaded  them  with  powder  and  ball. 

That  afternoon  he  mounted  his  stage  for  his  drive  through 
the  Chateaugay  woods.  There  was  not  a  passenger  in  his 
vehicle.  Whistling  as  lie  went,  he  “  cracked  up”  his  leaders, 
and  drove  into  the  forest.  Just  about  the  centre  of  the  woods 
a  man  sprang  out  from  behind  a  tree,  and  seized  the  horses  by 
the  bit. 

“  I  say,  driver,”  said  the  footpad,  with  consummate  coolness, 
“  I  want  to  take  a  look  at  that  mail.” 

“  Yes,  you  do,  no  doubt,  want  to  overhaul  my  mails,”  replies 
the  driver ;  “  but  I  can’t  be  so  free,  unless  you  show  me  your 
commission.  I’m  driver  here,  and  I  never  give  up  my  mails 
except  to  one  regularly  authorized.” 

“  0,  you  don’t,  eh  ?  well,  here’s  my  authority,”  showing  the 
butt  of  a  large  pistol  partly  concealed  in  his  bosom.  “Now 
dismount  and  bear  a  hand,  my  fine  fellow,  for  you  see  I’ve  got 
the  documents  about  me.” 

“  Yes,  and  so’ve  I,”  says  the  driver,  instantly  leveling  his 
own  trusty  weapon  at  the  highwayman. 

“ 0  !  you  won’t  hurt  nobody,  I  guess;  I’ve  seen  boys  playing 
soger  before  now.” 

“  Just  drop  those  reins,”  says  the  keeper  of  Uncle  Sam’s 
mail  bags,  “or  take  the  consequences.” 

“  0  !  now  your’e  joking,  my  fine  lad  !  but  come,  look  alive, 
for  I’m  in  a  hurry,  it’s  nearly  night.” 

A  sharp  report  echoed  through  the  forest,  and  the  disciple 
of  Dick  Turpin  lay  stretched  upon  the  ground.  One  groan  and 
all  was  over.  The  ball  had  entered  his  temple. 

_  * '  .  .  *  '  ■  t  , 

The  driver  lifted  the  body  into  the  coach,  drove  to  the  next 
stopping  place,  related  the  ciijumstances,  and  gave  himself  up. 
A  brief  examination  before  a  magistrate  resulted  in  his 
acquittal,  and  highwaymen  about  the  Chateaugay  woods  learned 
that  pistols  might  be  dangerous  weapons,  even  if  they  were 


224 


CAPITAL  PUNISHMENT. 


loaded  with  wheat  bran,  provided  they  were  in  the  hands  of 
one  who  knew  how  to  use  them. 


Another  exciting  case  occurred  near  Utica,  early  in  the 
present  century,  when  Western  and  Northern  New  York  was 
a  wilderness. 

An  old  rogue,  who  had  long  been  steeped  in  crime,  finding 
his  companions  nearly  all  gone — the  prisons  and  gallows  having 
claimed  their  own — and  his  material  resources  nearly  ex¬ 
hausted,  sought  for  a  profitable  alliance.  He  succeeded  in 
getting  into  familiarity  with  a  very  young  man,  son  of  a  gentle¬ 
man  of  standing  and  reputation,  a  worthy  citizen  and  an  honest 
man.  These  two  laid  their  plans  for  robbing  the  mail.  Con¬ 
siderable  sums  of  money  were  known  to  pass  constantly  in  the 
great  mail  running  East  and  West. 

Watching  their  opportunity,  they  stopped  the  coach  one 
night  when  there  were  no  passengers.  The  driver  was  bold 
and  faithful  to  his  charge,  and  made  a  stout  resistance.  They 
tied  him  to  a  tree,  and  opened  the  mail.  Fearing  detection 
and  not  obtaining  much  money,  the  veteran  villain  drew  his 
pistol  and  shot  the  poor  driver.  As  in  most  criminal  transac¬ 
tions,  fortune  went  against  the  perpetrators.  They  were  both 
taken,  and  sufficient  evidence  being  produced,  they  were  sen¬ 
tenced  to  be  hanged. 

Though  there  was  but  one  opinion  as  to  the  comparative 
culpability  of  the  two  individuals,  no  one  could  say  but  that 
both  were  equally  guilty,  in  a  legal  sense,  of  the  murder.  Out 
of  respect  to  the  parents  of  the  young  man,  great  efforts  were 
made  to  obtain  a  pardon,  but  they  were  unsuccessful. 

Both  the  sentences  were  carried  into  execution.  The  cir¬ 
cumstance  gave  rise  to  a  thorough  discussion  of  the  policy,  the 
humanity,  and  the  right  or  wrong  of  Capital  Punishment.  One 
of  the  most  powerful  arguments  ever  made  against  the  death 
penalty,  was  written  by  the  father  of  the  younger  criminal, 
and  obtained  a  wide  circulation  in  pamphlet  form. 


225 


“  PAYING  OVER.” 

In  the  summer  01  1851,  a  company  of  travelers  were  seated 
in  the  mail  stage  that  runs  from  Mexico  to  Vera  Cruz.  Ma¬ 
rauding  parties  of  guerillas  had  often  stopped  the  mail,  and 
when  practicable,  robbed  the  passengers.  Sometimes  return¬ 
ing  Californians,  and  other  travelers,  gave  these  freebooters  a 
rather  warm  reception. 

On  the  present  occasion  there  were  but  three  or  four  pas¬ 
sengers,  some  of  whom  were  armed  with  small  revolvers.  Sud¬ 
denly  a  party  of  mounted  guerillas  appeared,  nearly  a  dozen  in 
number,  and  at  once  stopped  the  coach  and  ordered  the  pas 
sengers  out. 

Either  from  fear  or  collusion,  the  drivers  never  interfere,  but 
remain  neutral.  Probably,  if  they  resisted,  their  lives  would 
pay  the  forfeit.  The  passengers,  supposing  there  was  no  hope 
of  escape  but  to  give  up  their  watches  and  money,  commenced 
“  paying  over.” 

A  young  English  gentleman  in  one  corner  of  the  coach, 
immediately  took  up  a  double-barreled  gun  and  shot  the  villain 
at  the  door  of  the  coach,  and  then  with  the  other  barrel  killed 
another  of  the  party,  by  shooting  him  off  his  horse.  He  then 
drew  a  revolver,  and  jumped  out.  The  other  travelers  con¬ 
cluded,  like  Wellington’s  reserve  at  Waterloo,  that  they  might 
as  well  “up  and  at  ’em,”,  and,  quite  unprepared  for  such  a 
reception,  the  freebooters — the  surviving  ones — fled  with  pre¬ 
cipitation.  The  papers  resounded  with  the  praises  of  “  this 
fine  young  English  gentleman,  all  of  the  modern  time.” 

His  father  was  a  distinguished  member  of  Parliament,  and 
soon  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting  his  son,  who  had  been  abroad 
and  shown  that  he  was  made  of  the  right  kind  of  stuff  for  a 
traveler  in  a  dangerous  country. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

The  tender  Passion — Barnum’s  Museum — Little  Eva — The  Boys  in  a 
Box — The  Bracelet — Love  in  an  Omnibus — Losses  explained. 

As  Shakspeare,  after  having  displayed  Falstaff  in  his  ordi¬ 
nary  character  of  rascal  and  rowdy  in  general,  represented  him 
as  a  u  lover  sighing  like  furnace,”  so  we,  in  the  course  of  our 
vesearches  among  juvenile  delinquents,  find  that  they  are 
sometimes  the  victims  of  what  they  consider  the  tender  pas¬ 
sion.  And  the  ardor  excited  in  their  breasts  is  not  always 
innocent  in  its  effects,  but,  as  in  the  case  of  u  children  of  an 
older  growth,”  sometimes  leads  to  the  commission  of  heinous 
crime,  as  is  exemplified  in  the  instance  we  are  about  to  relate. 

While  the  drama  of  “  Uncle  Tom’s  Cabin”  was  running  at 
that  Museum  of  Natural  and  Unnatural  History,  commonly 
called  Barnum’s,  four  boys,  the  eldest  apparently  about  four¬ 
teen  years  of  age,  were  observed  night  after  night  occupying  a 
stage-box  in  the  theatre  attached  to  that  establishment,  and 
watching,  with  admiring  eyes,  the  movements  of  the  young 
lady  who  represented  u  Little  Eva.”  Boys  are  gregarious  in 
their  loves  and  hates,  and  it  appeared  that  in  the  present 
instance,  the  three  younger  ones  were  not  smitten  with  the 
aforesaid  damsel,  per  se,  but.  simply  as  friends  or  satellites  of 
their  older  companion,  accompanying  him  in  that  capacity,  to 
encourage  him,  and  witness  his  hoped-for  triumph  over  the 
heart  of  the  young  actress,  and  possibly  for  the  sake  of  sharing 

(226) 


THE  BOYS  IN  A  BOX. 


227 


in  the  “  treats”  of  various  kinds  which  he  dispensed  to  favored 
ones  with  a  lavish  hand. 

Not  content  with  sighing  at  a  distance  for  the  object  of  his 
affections,  and  on  one  occasion  making  a  decided  demonstra¬ 
tion,  by  throwing  a  gold  bracelet  upon  the  stage,  intended  to 
encircle  her  arm,  the  enamored  youth  often  watched  for  his 
charmer  as  she  descended  from  the  world  of  imagination  to 
that  of  real  life, — from  the  theatrical  stage  to  that  humble, 
but  useful  vehicle,  an  omnibus ;  and  having  ascertained  which 
one  was  irradiated  by  her  presence,  he  madly  rushed  after, 
and  purchased,  with  the  slight  outlay  of  a  sixpence,  the  en¬ 
rapturing  consciousness  of  being  included  within  the  narrow 
walls  that  held  the  mistress  of  his  heart. 

But  “the  course  of  true  love  never  did  run  smooth.”  Some¬ 
times  unfeeling  parents  obstruct ;  sometimes  “  no”  is  a  decided 
obstacle ;  but  neither  of  these  was  the  immediate  cause  of  the 
rough  “  course”  in  the  present  instance.  It  does  not  appear 
that  our  stricken  youth  had  ever  approached  near  enough  to 
his  “  bright  particular  star”  to  admit  of  any  confidential  dis¬ 
closure  of  the  state  of  his  feelings;  much  less  had  he  opened 
any  negotiations  with  the  “  powers  that  be.”  The  rocks  on 
which  he  split  were,  the  manager  of  the  Museum  and  a  police 
officer ! 

When  the  reader  is  informed  that  the  lad  in  question  was 
not  the  son  .of  wealthy  parents,  and  had,  or  ought  to  have  had 
no  other  pecuniary  resources  than  those  which  he  derived 
from  his  occupation  in  the  employ  of  a  bookseller,  he  will 
readily  conjecture  whence  came  the  means  for  the  indulgence 
of  such  extravagance  and  folly  as  have  been  described.  Such 
an  unusual  occurrence  as  the  hiring  of  a  stage  box  by  a  boy, 
for  several  nights  in  succession  (the  expense  of  which  was  five 
dollars  a  night),  attracted  the  attention  and  the  suspicions  of 
the  manager  of  the  Museum,  who  sent  for  the  police,  and  on 

searching  the  boys,  an  empty  envelope,  addressed  to  “  S - 

&  Co.,  Fulton  Street,”  the  employers  of  our  precocious  young 
gentleman,  was  found  upon  his  person.  It  was  then  ascer- 


228 


LOSSES  EXPLAINED. 


tained  that  S — 1 —  &  Co.  had  recently  lost  several  money-letters, 
and  the  hoy,  being  the  person  who  took  the  letters  out  of  the 
post-office  for  the  firm,  had  appropriated  the  money  to  his  own 
use.  He  was  tried  before  the  United  States  Court,  and  sent 
to  the  House  of  Refuge,  where,  it  is  to  be  hoped,  he  was  cured 
of  indulging  his  boyish  whim  at  the  expense  of  his  employer’s 
money  and  his  own  character. 


CHAPTER  XVII. 


DETACHED  INCIDENTS. 

Bank  Letter  lost — The  Thief  decoyed — Post-Office  at  Midnight- 
Climbing  the  Ladder — An  exciting  Moment — Queer  Place  of  Deposit. 

A  Post  Master  in  Prison — Afflicted  Friends — Sighs  and  Saws — The 
Culprit’s  Escape — How  it  was  done — A  cool  Letter — A  Wife’s 
Offering. 

Moral  Gymnastics — Show  of  Honesty — Unwelcome  Suggestion. 

“A  hard  road  to  travel” — Headed  by  a  Parson — Lost  Time  made  up 
— A  Male  overhauled. 

The  Invalid  Wife — The  Announcement — A  touching  Incident. 

During  the  whole  of  the  author’s  official  career,  he  has 
never  been  brought  into  physical  conflict  with  any  one,  nor 
exposed  to  any  great  danger  in  the  discharge  of  his  duties. 
These  duties  have  seldom  called  him  to  undergo  11  moving 
accidents  by  flood  and  field,”  excepting  so  far  as  severe 
weather,  dangerous '  roads,  fractious  horses,  or  some  other  of 
the  inconveniences  and  perils  incident  to  the  different  modes 
of  traveling,  might  be  classed  under  that  head. 

An  incident,  however,  once  occurred  while  I  was  engaged  in 
investigating  a  case  of  depredation,  which  may  be  worthy  of 
record  here,  as  it  is  not  devoid  of  a  certain  picturesqueness, 
even  aside  from  the  extremely  interesting  circumstance  (to 
me)  that  my  head,  for  a  short  time,  seemed  to  be  in  imminent 
danger. 

The  case  referred  to  was  that  of  the  loss  of  a  letter  con¬ 
taining  six  hundred  dollars,  posted  by  the  cashier  of  a 
Northern  bank.  The  person,  (a  post-office  clerk,)  whom  I 
20  (229) 


230  AN  EXCITING  MOMENT. 

suspected  of  being  the  robber,  was  detected  in  taking  a  decoy 
letter  which  was  placed  in  his  office  after  the  loss  of  the  one 
first  mentioned.  On  the  strength  of  this,  I  boldly  charged 
him  with  the  first  loss,  and  insisted  that  he  should  restore  the 
money.  After  the  usual  assertion  of  innocence,  and  some 
demur,  he  intimated  to  me  that  the  spoils  were  hidden  some¬ 
where  in  the  post-office. 

This  interview  was  held  in  the  directors’  room  of  the  bank 
which  had  suffered  the  loss,  and  I  immediately  proposed  that 
we  should  go  over  to  the  office  and  get  the  money.  Accord¬ 
ingly  we  proceeded  thither.  It  was  then  after  midnight. 
As  soon  as  we  entered,  my  companion  locked  the  door  behind 
us,  and  preceded  me,  with  a  lantern  in  his  hand.  A  remark 
which  I  made  respecting  the  lonely  appearance  of  a  post-office 
at  that  time  of  night,  drew  from  him  nothing  but  a  sullen 
assent,  which  put  an  end  to  any  further  conversational  efforts 
on  my  part. 

The  room  (or  rather  recess)  in  which  he  lodged,  was  over 
that  part  of  the  office  devoted  to  the  public,  a  spacer  in  front 
of  the  boxes,  and  access  was  had  to  it  by  means  of  a  ladder 
inside  the  office. 

The  clerk  rapidly  ascended  this  ladder  and  I  followed  closely 
behind,  without  a  word  being  spoken  by  either  of  us.  The 
apartment,  besides  the  ordinary  furniture  of  a  lodging-room, 
contained  a  few  shelves  of  books,  indicating  some  pursuit  more 
creditable  to  their  owner  than  those  which  had  rendered  my 
interference  with  them  necessary.  I  had  before  been  told 
that  he  was  somewhat  diligent  in  the  cultivation  of  his  intellect. 

Setting  down  his  lantern  upon  the  table,  he  reached  up 
and  took  down  a  rifle  which  was  suspended  to  the  wall,  directly 
over  his  bed,  a  fit  emblem  for  one  engaged  in  rifling  the  mails. 

Although  the  moodiness  which  he  had  displayed  during 
our  intercourse  that  evening,  had  not  surprised  me,  yet  I  was 
by  no  means  prepared  to  expect  that  he  would  resort  to  such 
extreme  measures  as  his  movements  seemed  to  indicate. 

I  was  uncertain  what  to  do.  11  The  better  part  of  valor’’ 


ESCAPE  OF  A  MAIL  ROBBER. 


231 


being  u  discretion/7  it  was  by  no  means  clear  whether  this 
same  discretion  required  me  to  rush  upon  him,  or  to  make  a 
precipitate  retreat  down  the  ladder,  or  to  jump  and  disappear 
in  the  darkness  below.  There  was  evidently  no  time  to  lose, 
for  the  deadly  weapon  was  already  pointed  in  my  direction, 
and  its  desperate  owner  was  fumbling  about  the  stock,  as  if,  in 
the  dim  light,  he  could  not  easily  find  the  lock. 

Springing  towards  him,  I  seized  the  rifle  by  the  barrel, 
remarking,  that  I  wished  he  would  not  turn  the  muzzle  upon 
me,  and  then  I  saw  what  he  was  attempting  to  do.  He  had 
crammed  the  stolen  notes  into  the  “  patch-box’7  of  the  rifle, 
and  was  endeavoring  to  get  them  out,  which  he  could  not 
readily  effect  as  they  were  tightly  wedged  in.  I  cheerfully 
volunteered  to  assist  him,  and  by  our  united  efforts,  the  debt 
was  discharged  instead  of  the  rifle  !  In  other  words,  I  recovered 
the  identical  bank-notes,  deposited  in  the  office  by  the  cashier 
several  weeks  previously,  all  in  one  hundred  dollar  bills. 

The  evidence  furnished  by  the  u  patch -box, 7  7  was  of  course 
amply  sufficient  to  convict  the  depredator,  had  other  proof 
been  wanting,  and  he  was  recently  sentenced  to  ten  years7 
imprisonment  in  the  State  Prison. 


An  ingeniously  planned  and  successfully  executed  escape 
of  a  mail  robber  from  prison,  occurred  in  Troy,  New  York,  less 
than  a  year  ago. 

This  person  had  held  the  office  of  post  master  in  a  place  of 
some  note  in  the  Northern  part  of  New  York.  He  was  a  man 
of  education,  and  connected  by  birth  and  marriage  with  some 
of  the  most  respectable  and  influential  families  in  that  part 
of  the  State,  and  in  the  Province  of  Canada. 

These  favorable  circumstances,  however,  did  not  prevent 
him  from  becoming  seriously  embarrassed  in  his  pecuniary 
affairs,  by  which  he  was  led,  in  an  evil  hour,  to  resort  to  mail 
depredations,  continuing  them  until  this  course  was  cut  short 


232 


SYMPATHIZING  FRIENDS. 


by  bis  detection  and  arrest.  As  be  failed  to  give  tbe  requisite 
bail,  be  was  thrown  into  prison  to  await  bis  trial,  which  was 
to  take  place  in  tbe  course  of  a  few  weeks. 

As  tbe  efforts  wbicb  be  and  bis  friends  bad  made  to  secure 
tbe  intervention  of  tbe  Post  Master  General  for  postponing 
tbe  trial  were  unavailing,  and  tbe  direct  and  positive  proof 
against  him  made  it  certain  that  be  would  be  doomed  to  at 
least  ten  years’  imprisonment  at  bard  labor,  the  desperate 
expedient  of  breaking  jail  seemed  to  be  tbe  only  book  left  to 
bang  a  hope  upon. 

He  occupied  a  large  room,  adjoining  that  of  the  notorious 
murderess  Mrs.  Robinson,  and  bad  for  bis  room-mate  a  person 
who  bad  been  committed  for  some  minor  offence. 

He  was  frequently  visited  by  bis  relations,  whose  high 
respectability  exempted  them  from  tbe  close  examination 
wbicb  should  have  been  made  by  tbe  jailor,  to  ascertain  that 
they  carried  no  contraband  articles  on  their  persons.  Respect¬ 
ability  in  this  case,  as  in  many  others,  served  as  a  cloak  to 
devices  from  wbicb  rascality  derived  more  benefit  than  tbe 
cause  of  justice. 

These  afflicted  friends,  in  tbe  course  of  their  visits,  con¬ 
trived  to  supply  tbe  prisoner  with  tbe  tools  necessary  to  enable 
bim  to  effect  bis  escape  from  “  durance  vile.”  Sighs  and 
saws,  regrets  and  ropes,  anguish  and  augers,  were  mifigled 
together,  supplying  both  consolation  for  tbe  past  and  hope  for 
tbe  future. 

The  time  selected  for  tbe  escape  was  a  Sabbath  night.  Tbe 
first  thing  discovered  by  tbe  jailor  on  tbe  next  morning,  was 
a  rope  suspended  from  a  back-ball  window  in  tbe  second  story, 
and  reaching  to  tbe  ground,  tbe  window  being  open.  On 
ascending  tbe  stairs,  be  found  in  the  partition  separating  tbe 
mail  robber’s  room  from  tbe  ball,  an  opening  about  large 
enough  to  admit  of  tbe  egress  of  a  small  person;  and  on 
entering  tbe  room  but  one  occupant  appeared,  who  was  fast 
asleep ;  but  the  mail  robber  was  gone. 

It  was  with  tbe  utmost  difficulty  that  tbe  sleeper  could  be 


DRUGGING  A  ROOM-MATE. 


233 


aroused.  He  was  evidently  under  tlie  influenced  some  power¬ 
ful  narcotic,  as  was  fully  sliown  by  bis  replies  to  tbe  interro¬ 
gatories  of  tbe  jailor  after  be  bad  sufficiently  recovered  from 
bis  stupefaction  to  understand  wbat  was  said  to  him. 

His  story  was,  that  on  tbe  previous  evening  be  was  com¬ 
plaining  of  a  severe  cold,  whereupon  bis  sympathizing  room¬ 
mate  remarked  that  be  bad  some  medicine  that  was  just  tbe 
thing  for  such  complaints,  and  offered  to  give  him  a  dose,  if 
be  wished  to  try  it.  To  this  tbe  unsuspecting  victim  of  sharp 
practice  assented ;  and  tbe  amateur  “  M.  D^’  measured  out  a 
quantity  sufficient  for  tbe  purpose  intended,  first  pretending 
to  swallow  a  dose  himself,  in  order  to  convince  bis  patient 
that  tbe  medicine  was  perfectly  safe. 

One  of  tbe  last  things  that  tbe  patient  remembered  on  tbe 
night  in  question,  was  that  about  eleven  o’clock  be  was  affected 
by  a  very  drowsy  sensation  which  be  could  not  overcome,  and 
that  he  lay  down  *on  bis  bed  to  sleep.  About  this  time  bis 
attending  physician  came  to  him  and  inquired  “how  be  felt;” 
to  which  be  replied,  “  very  sleepy.”  His  benevolent  friend 
assured  him  that  this  was  a  “  favorable  sign,”  and  asserted 
further  that  be  would  be  “all  right  by  morning.”  At  tbe 
same  time  showing  bis  solicitude  for  bis  companion’s  comfort 
by  taking  tbe  pillow  from  bis  own  bed  and  placing  it  under 
bis  bead. 

Tbe  cause  of  these  phenomena  stood  revealed,  in  tbe  shape 
of  a  vial  labeled  “Laudanum,”  which  was  found  upon  a 
table  in  tbe  room.  Near  it  lay  a  note  addressed  to  tbe  jailor, 
of  which  tbe  following  is  a  copy. 


Sunday  Night. 


Dear  Sir, 

Intelligence  of  a  very  discouraging  nature,  informing  me  that  mj 
approaching  trial  is  not  to  be  postponed  on  any  account,  impels  me  to 
make  my  way  out  of  this  place  to-night. 

Before  doing  so,  however,  I  have  to  thank  you  for  your  kindness  to 
me.  I  am  also  indebted  to  Dr.  M.  for  his  attention  to  my  comfort, 
and  I  regret  that  interests  of  the  highest  importance  require  me  to 
take  a  step  which  may  lead  some  people  to  find  fault  with  you.  All 
20* 


234 


A  SOOTHING  LETTER. 


that  I  can  say  about  that  is,  that  I  have  been  fortunate  in  eluding 
your  vigilance  as  a  public  officer. 

The  effects  I  leave  behind  me  should  be  sent  by  express  to  my 

friends  in  P - ,  who  no  doubt  will  pay  all  expenses  incurred  by  me 

while  I  was  with  you.  Any  letters  coming  here  may  be  forwarded  to 

me  at  P - ,  that  is,  after  waiting  a  week  when  my  brother  is  to  be 

at  that  place. 

With  a  renewal  of  my  acknowledgments  for  your  goodness,  I  remain 

Respectfully  yours, 

A.  C.  N. 

To  J.  Price,  Esq.,  Sheriff,  &c. 

Among  the  u  effects,”  left  behind,  were  sundry  saws,  files, 
and  chisels  of  the  best  workmanship  and  materials;  a  large 
roll  of  putty,  to  have  been  used  in  concealing  the  saw-marks, 
in  case  a  second  night’s  labor  had  been  required ;  and  a  valise 
containing  a  variety  of  books,  wearing  apparel,  and  letters 
received  from  his  friend  during  his  confinement.  One  of  them 
was  from  his  wife,  a  young,  lovely,  and  accomplished  woman. 
It  is  full  of  love,  devotion,  and  Christian  resignation,  and  ends 
as  follows : — 

“  The  dear  baby  is  quite  well,  and  is  growing  finely  every  day. 
She  is  a  dear,  beautiful  child.  Oh  that  God  may  keep  her  for  us  both, 
for  she  will  make  us  so  happy,  she  binds  us  so  closely  together. 

“Here  are  some  lines  which  I  have  preserved  for  some  time.  They 
have  often  comforted  me,  and  I  hope  your  feelings  are  such  that  they 
may  comfort  you.” 

“GOD’S  WAY  IS  BEST.” 

This  blessed  truth  I  long  have  known, 

So  soothing  in  its  hopeful  tone — 

Whate’er  our  trials,  cares  and  woes, 

Our  Father’s  mercy  freely  flows — 

That  on  his  bosom  we  may  rest, 

For  God  is  good,  “His  way  is  best.” 

Trouble  without  and  grief  within, 

Are  the  sure  heritage  of  sin ; 

And  e’en  affection’s  voice  may  die 
In  the  last  quivering,  gasping  sigh ; 

But  what  though  death  our  souls  distress, 

’Twere  better  thus — “  God’s  way  is  best.” 


MORAL  GYMNASTICS. 


235 


Misfortune’s  dark  and  bitter  blight 
May  fall  upon  us  like  the  night ; 

Our  souls  with  anguish  may  be  torn 
When  we  are  called  o’er  friends  to  mourn ; 
But  what  assurance  doubly  blest, 

To  feel  that  all  “God’s  ways  are  best.” 

Yes,  glorious  thought!  in  yonder  sky 
Are  joys  supreme  which  never  die — 

That  when  our  earthly  course  is  run, 

We’ll  live  in  regions  of  the  sun  ; 

And  there,  upon  the  Savior’s  breast, 

We’ll  sing  for  aye,  “  God’s  way  is  best.” 


It  was  a  doctrine  advanced  by  Mahomet,  that  all  men  after 
death  were  obliged  to  cross  a  fiery  gulf,  upon  a  bridge  as  nar 
row  as  a  single  hair.  The  good  always  succeeded  in  effecting 
their  passage  safely,  while  the  wicked  were  precipitated  into 
the  depths  below. 

This  idea  might  be  extended  to  the  present  life,  by  way  of 
illustrating  the  difficulties  which  beset  those  who  follow  a 
criminal  course,  and  attempt  to  conceal  the  fact  from  the  eyes 
of  others.  A  step  too  far,  or  not  far  enough,  this  way  or  that, 
is  sufficient  to  cause  them  to  slip,  and  this  kind  of  tight-rope 
balancing  is  a  species  of  moral  gymnastics,  in  the  execution 
of  which  few  are  successful. 

A  specimen  of  this  was  once  furnished  me  by  a  post  master 
against  whom  serious  complaints  had  been  made  to  the  Depart¬ 
ment,  but  who  was  not  aware  of  the  existence  of  such  charges. 
In  the  course  of  several  interviews  which  I  held  with  him,  I 
gave  him  not  the  remotest  hint  that  I  suspected  his  integrity, 
yet  (probably  on  the  principle  of  taking  medicine  when  one  is 
well,  or  thinks  he  is,  in  order  to  be  better)  he  resorted  to 
several  somewhat  original  expedients  to  establish  a  character 
for  honesty  in  my  estimation. 

The  most  striking  of  these  was  the  following : — 


236 


A  FOOLISH  DEVICE. 


As  I  entered  the  vestibule  of  the  office  one  day,  he  pretended 
to  pick  up  a  ten  dollar  note  from  the  floor. 

After  the  usual  morning  salutation,  he  said, 

u  I  am  in  luck,  this  morning.  I  just  picked  up  here  a  ten 
dollar  bill,  and  I  must  see  if  I  can’t  find  the  owner and  he 
forthwith  proceeded  to  write  a  flaming  placard,  announcing 
the  finding  of  “a  sum  of  money”  outside  the  delivery  window, 
and  to  post  it  in  a  conspicuous  place. 

His  singular  manner,  however,  while  speaking  of  the  money, 
and  while  engaged  in  drawing  up  the  notice,  attracted  my 
attention,  and  I  became  strongly  impressed  with  the  belief  that 
the  whole  affair  was  one  of  those  silly  devices  which  are  as 
effectual  in  preventing  the  detection  of  those  who  employ  them, 
as  is  the  device  of  the  ostrich,  in  hiding  his  head  under  his 
wing,  to  conceal  him  from  his  pursuer. 

It  occurred  to  me,  after  a  little  reflection,  that  I  had  seen  a 
well-known  merchant  in  the  place  hand  the  post  master  a  ten 
dollar  note  the  day  previous,  in  payment  for  postage  stamps. 
This  fact  was  confirmed  by  inquiries  which  I  made  of  the 
merchant,  who  further  informed  me  that  he  could  recognise 
the  bill  if  he  should  see  it  again,  from  the  initials  which  it 
bore  of  a  correspondent,  who  had  sent  it  to  him  by  mail  a  few 
days  before.  Having  ascertained  what  these  initials  were, 
(“  C.  P.,”)  I  took  occasion  to  examine  the  note,  (which  the 
post  master  had  rather  ostentatiously  laid  aside  in  a  drawer,  to 
be  ready  for  the  owner  whenever  he  should  claim  it,)  and  found 
the  u  C.  P.”  upon  it. 

After  the  notice  of  the  finding  had  been  posted  some  twenty- 
four  hours  without  the  appearance  of  any  claimant,  I  suggested 
to  the  honest  finder,  by  way  of  annoying  him  a  little  in  return 
for  his  attempted  deception,  that  as  the  money  was  found 
within  the  post-office  limits,  the  Department  would  probably 
require  that  it  should  pass  into  the  United  States  Treasury,  in 
the  same  way  as  funds  contained  in  dead  letters  for  which  no 
owners  can  be  found. 

This  view  of  the  case  did  not  seem  to  strike  him  favorably. 


PROVOKING  INTERRUPTION.  237 

He  looked  blank,  but  attempted  to  pass  it  off  as  a  joke,  by 
saying  that  be  didn’t  know  that  tbe  post-office  was  a  dead 
letter. 

Tbe  next  morning  tbe  placard  bad  disappeared,  and  tbe 
post  master  informed  me  that  a  stranger  bad  called  late  on  tbe 
evening  before,  wbo  claimed  and  described  tbs  bill,  and  to 
whom  it  was  accordingly  surrendered  ! 

Tbe  termination  of  tbis  case  fully  confirmed  my  opinion  of 
tbe  post  master’s  double-dealing  in  relation  to  tbis  affair. 


It  sometimes  happens  that  tbe  ends  of  justice  are  best 
secured  by  allowing  criminals  to  go  on  for  a  time  unmolested 
in  their  course,  and  even  by  affording  them  facilities  for  tbe 
commission  of  offences,  which  will  be  to  them  as  snares  and 
pitfalls.  "When  means  like  these  are  adopted  for  the  detection 
of  crime,  a  temporary  check  to  tbe  operations  of  tbe  suspected 
persons,  from  whatever  cause  arising,  creates  some  additional 
trouble  and  anxiety  to  those  wbo  are  endeavoring  to  ferret  out 
tbe  evil-doer,  and  provokes  a  degree  of  exasperation  toward 
bis  unconscious  abettor. 

Such  an  untimely  interference  with  plans  carefully  laid,  and 
carried  out  at  a  considerable  expense  of  time  and  effort,  once 
occurred  while  tbe  author  was  attempting  to  bring  to  light  an 
unscrupulous  depredator,  in  whose  detection  tbe  public  was 
much  interested,  as  many  bad  suffered  by  tbe  loss  of  money 
sent  through  bis  office. 

I  bad  been  bard  at  work  for  a  week  in  pursuing  tbis  investi¬ 
gation,  having  for  tbe  third  time  passed  decoy  letters  over  tbe 
road  on  which  tbe  suspected  office  was  situated,  (tbe  road  being 
one  of  tbe  roughest  kind,  about  forty  miles  in  length,  and 
very  muddy,)  and  was  flattering  myself  that  that  day’s  work 
would  enable  me  to  bring  my  labors  to  a  conclusion  satisfactory 
to  tbe  public  and  myself,  if  not  to  tbe  delinquent ;  when  my 
hopes  were,  for  tbe  time,  dashed  to  tbe  ground  by  tbe  innocent 
band  of  tbe  village  parson. 


► 


238 


DEFEATED  BY  A  “  DOMINIE.” 

And  it  happened  in  this  wise  : — 

The  mail  carrier  was  instructed  to  throw  cff  his  mail,  as 
usual,  at  the  suspected  office,  and  to  remain  outside,  in  order 
to  afford  the  post  master  a  good  opportunity  for  the  repetition 
of  the  offence  which  he  was  supposed  to  have  committed,  the 
Agent  being  all  the  time  a  mile  or  two  m  advance,  in  ano¬ 
ther  vehicle,  impatiently  waiting  to  learn  the  result  of  his 
manoeuvres. 

As  the  part  of  the  road  where  I  was  stationed,  was  in  the 
midst  of  woods,  and  the  carrier  had  no  passengers,  no  particular 
caution  was  needed  in  conducting  the  conversation,  and  before 
my  associate  had  reached  me,  he  called  out, 

u  I  guess  you’ll  have  to  try  it  again  ;  the  Dominie  was  there 
and  helped  to  overhaul  the  mail  to-day.” 

The  sportsman,  who,  having  just  got  a  fair  sight  at  the  bird 
which  he  has  been  watching  for  hours,  beholds  it,  startled  by 
some  blunderer,  flying  off  to  u parts  unknown;”  the  angler, 
who,  by  unwearied  painstaking,  having  almost  inveigled  a 
u  monarch  of  the  pool”  into  swallowing  his  hook — sees  a  stone 
hurled  by  some  careless  hand,  descending  with  a  splash,  and 
putting  an  end  to  his  fishy  flirtation; — these  can  imagine  my 
feelings  when  the  mail  carrier  made  the  above  announcement. 

u  Confound  the  Dominie,”  involuntarily  exclaimed  I,  u  why 
couldn’t  he  mind  his  own  business  ?” 

I  examined  the  mail  bag,  but  nothing  was  missing  except 
the  matter  that  properly  belonged  to  that  office. 

Dut  at  the  next  trial,  the  parishioner  did  not  have  ministerial 
aid  in  opening  his  mail,  and  accordingly,  probably  by  way  of 
indemnifying  himself  for  his  forced  abstinence,  he  not  only 
seized  the  decoy  package,  but  several  others. 

The  following  day,  instead  of  overhauling  the  mail,  he  was 
himself  thoroughly  overhauled  by  an  United  States  Marshal. 

A  post  master  of  such  weak  virtue,  should  hire  a  “  dominie” 
by  the  year,  to  stand  by  and  help  him  resist  the  devil,  during 
the  process  of  opening  the  mails. 


THE  INVALID  WIFE. 


289 


Not  tlie  least  painful  of  the  various  duties  connected  with 
the  detection  of  crime,  is  the  sometimes  necessary  one  of 
revealing  a  husband’s  guilt  to  his  wife. 

I  anticipated  a  severe  trial  of  my  feelings  in  making  such  a 
disclosure  during  the  progress  of  a  recent  important  case  where 
the  mail  robber  was  in  possession  of  a  mail-key  by  means  of 
which  he  had  committed  extensive  depredations.  He  was  at 
length  detected,  and  has  lately  entered  upon  a  ten  years’  term 
in  the  State  Prison. 

On  his  arrest  he  manifested  much  solicitude  for  his  wife, 
fearing  that  the  intelligence  of  his  situation  would  overpower 
her.  u  She  is  in  feeble  health  at  best,”  said  he,  u  and  I  am 
afraid  this  will  kill  her.” 

It  was  necessary,  however,  that  I  should  see  her  in  order 
to  get  possession  of  some  funds,  a  part  of  the  proceeds  of  the 
robberies,  which  her  husband  had  committed  to  her  keeping. 
Furnished  with  a  written  order  from  the  prisoner,  and  leaving 
him  in  the  Marshal’s  custody,  I  proceeded  to  call  on  the 
invalid,  racking  my  brains  while  on  the  way  to  her  residence, 
for  some  mode  of  communicating  the  unpleasant  truth  which 
should  disclose  it  gradually,  and  spare  her  feelings  as  much  as 
possible. 

On  my  arrival  at  the  boarding-house,  the  note  was  sent  to 
the  lady’s  room.  It  read  as  follows : — 


My  dear  Susan : 

Will  you  hand  to  the  bearer  a  roll  of  bank-notes  which  I  left  with 
you. 


Edwin. 


The  lady  soon  made  her  appearance.  She  was  young,  rather 
prepossessing,  and  evidently  in  delicate  health.  Finding  that 
I  was  the  bearer  of  the  note,  she  addressed  me,  expressing 
great  surprise  that  her  husband  had  sent  a  request  so  unusual ; 
and  with  an  air  of  independence  observed  that  she  did  not 
“  know  about  paying  over  money  under  such  circumstances  to 
an  entire  stranger.” 


240 


THE  ANNOUNCEMENT. 


Desiring  not  to  mortify  her  unnecessarily  by  making  expla¬ 
nations  in  the  presence  of  others,  I  requested  her  to  step  into 
a  vacant  room  near  at  hand,  and  after  closing  the  door,  I  said 
in  a  low  tone, 

“  It  is  an  extremely  painful  thing  for  me,  Mrs.  M - , 

but  as  you  do  not  seem  inclined  to  comply  with  your  husband’s 
order,  I  must  tell  you  plainly  that  the  money  was  taken  from 
the  mails  by  him.  There  is  no  mistake  about  it.  He  has  had 
a  mail-key  which  I  have  just  recovered,  and  has  made  a  full 
acknowledgment  of  his  numerous  depredations.  I  beg  of  you 
to  bear  this  dreadful  news  with  fortitude.  No  one  will 
think  less  of  you  on  account  of  his  dishonest  conduct.” 

I  expected  to  see  the  poor  woman  faint  immediately,  and 
had  mentally  prepared  myself  for  every  emergency,  but,  a 
moment  after,  I  should  have  been  more  likely  to  have  fallen 
into  that  condition,  if  astonishment  could  ever  produce  such 
an  effect,  for  as  soon  as  I  had  finished  what  I  was  saying,  she 
stood,  if  possible,  more  erect  than  before,  and  with  some  fire 
in  her  eye,  and  one  arm  1 akimbo/  she  replied  in  a  spirited 
manner, 

u  Well,  if  he  has  done  that,  he’s  a  darn’d  fool  to  own  it 
— I  wouldn’t !” 

She  gave  up  the  money,  however,  soon  after,  and  although 
the  recklessness  displayed  in  the  speech  above  quoted  seemed 
to  make  it  probable  that  she  was  implicated  in  her  husband’s 
guilt,  it  afterwards  appeared  that  this  exhibition  of  u  spunk” 
was  due  to  the  impulses  of  a  high-spirited  and  excitable  nature, 
which  sometimes,  as  in  the  present  instance,  broke  away  from 
control,  and  went  beyond  the  bounds  of  decorum.  Such  an 
ebullition  of  passion  indicated,  in  her  case,  a  less  degree  of 
moral  laxity  than  it  would  have  shown  in  one  differently  con¬ 
stituted. 

In  a  subsequent  examination  of  their  apartment  in  search  of 
other  funds  and  missing  drafts,  a  touching  incident  occurred, 
strikingly  displaying,  when  taken  in  connection  with  the 


*• 


A  TOUCHING  INCIDENT. 


241 


outbreak  just  mentioned,  tbe  lights  as  well  as  shades  of  an  im¬ 
pulsive  character. 

During  this  examination,  it  became  necessary  to  investigate 
the  contents  of  a  well-filled  trank,  and  this  was  done  by  the 
lady  herself,  under  my  supervision.  After  several  layers  of 
wearing  apparel  had  been  taken  out,  she  suddenly  paused  in 
her  work,  and  wiped  away  a  falling  tear,  as  she  gazed  into  the 
trunk.  Thinking  that  some  important  evidence  of  her  hus¬ 
band’s  crimes  was  lurking  beneath  the  garments  remaining, 
and  that  her  hesitation  was  owing  to  reluctance  on  her  part  to 
be  instrumental  in  convicting  him,  I  reached  forward  and  was 
about  to  continue  the  examination  myself,  when  she  interposed 
her  arm  and  said  sobbingly, 

u  Those  are  the  little  clothes  of  our  poor  baby, — they 
haven’t  been  disturbed  since  his  death,  and  1  can’t  bear  to 
move  them.” 

A  second  glance  into  the  trunk  confirmed  her  sad  story,  for 
there  were  the  little  shoes,  scarcely  soiled,  the  delicately  em¬ 
broidered  skirts  and  waists, — all  the  apparel  so  familiar  to  a 
mother’s  eye,  which,  in  its  grieving  remembrance  of  the 
departed  child, 

“Stuffs  out  his  vacant  garments  with  his  form.” 

A  similar  affliction  had  taught  me  to  appreciate  the  sacred¬ 
ness  of  such  relics,  and  I  waited  in  sympathizing  silence, 
until  she  could  command  her  feelings  sufficiently  to  continue 
the  search. 

She  soon  resumed  it,  and  the  contents  of  the  trank  were 
thoroughly  examined,  yet  none  of  the  lost  valuables  were 
found  therein. 


21 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 


FRAUDS  CARRIED  ON  THROUGH  THE  MAILS. 

Sad  Perversion  of  Talent — Increase  of  Roguery — Professional  Men 
suffer — Young  America  at  the  “  Bar” — Papers  from  Liverpool — 
The  Trick  successful — A  legal  Document — Owning  up — A  careless 
Magistrate — Letters  from  the  Un-  duped. 

Victimizing  the  Clergy — A  lithograph  Letter — Metropolitan  Sermons 
— An  up-town  Church — A  Book  of  Travels — Natural  Reflections — 
Wholesome  Advice. 

The  Seed  Mania — Strong  Inducements — Barnes’  Notes — “First  rate 
Notice” — Farmer  Johnson — Wethersfield  outdone — Joab  missing. 

“Gift  Enterprise” — List  of  Prizes — The  Trap  well  baited — Evading 
the  Police — The  Scrub  Race. 

An  incalculable  amount  of  talent  is  perverted  to  dishonest 
purposes,  thereby  becoming  a  gift  worse  than  useless  to  its 
possessors,  and  a  fruitful  source  of  evil  to  the  community. 
Such  misemployed  ability  is  like  the  u  staff  of  life,”  turned  by 
a  magic  worse  than  Egyptian,  into  the  serpent  of  death.  And 
the  brilliancy  which  surrounds  the  successful  development  of 
some  deep-laid  plan  of  knavery — the  admiration  which  it  invol¬ 
untarily  excites,  in  the  mind  even  of  those  who  abhor  the 
deed,  and  condemn  the  cunning  designer,  render  such  misdi¬ 
rected  powers  doubly  dangerous,  by  exciting  in  the  weak- 
minded  and  evil-disposed  a  desire  to  emulate  such  wonderful 
achievements,  and  to  become  notorious,  if  they  cannot  make 
themselves  famous. 


(242) 


ABUSE  OF  THE  MAILS. 


243 


It  cannot  be  denied  that  a  considerable  degree  of  talent  is 
requisite  to  insure  success,  even  in  a  course  of  knavery;  and 
by  success  I  mean  nothing  more  than  that  longer  or  shorter 
career,  which  ends,  if  not  always  in  detection,  certainly  in 
disappointment  and  misery.  Success,  then,  in  this  connection, 
signifies  putting  off  the  evil  day — a  day  which  is  as  sure  to 
come  as  any  other  day.  Time  is  an  enemy  which  no  rogue 
can  ever  outrun. 

Even  such  pitiful  success  as  this  is  not  within  the  grasp  of 
small  abilities.  The  possessors  of  such  moderate  endowments 
will  find  it  emphatically  true,  that  Honesty  is  the  best  policy 
lor  them,  however  brilliant  and  seductive  a  dishonest  course 
may  be. 

When  Shakspeare  wrote,  “  Put  money  in  thy  purse,”  he 
probably  did  not  intend  to  exhort  any  one  to  pocket  another’s 
money,  but  to  confine  himself  to  that  which  he  actually  pos¬ 
sessed.  But,  judging  by  the  number  and  variety  of  the  inge¬ 
nious  frauds  which  are  practised  upon  the  community,  the 
saying  in  question  seems  to  have  been  adopted  in  its  most 
unscrupulous  sense  as  a  principle,  by  sundry  personages,  more 
remarkable  for  smartness  than  for  honesty.  Not  a  few  of  these 
characters  have  selected  the  mails  as  the  means  of  facilitating 
their  designs  upon  the  pockets  of  the  public  at  large. 

“But  this  sort  of  thing  is  becoming  too  prevalent,”  as  a 
worthy  magistrate  was  in  the  habit  of  remarking,  when  about 
to  sentence  some  pick-pocket  or  disturber  of  the  peace ;  and 
if  the  devices  of  the  class  of  villains  referred  to  continue  to 
increase  as  they  have  done  for  years  past,  semi-annual  sessions 
of  the  legislative  branch  of  Government  will  scarcely  suffice 
for  the  enactment  of  penalties  to  meet  the  increasing  exigen¬ 
cies  of  the  case. 

There  is  no  end  to  the  gross  swindles  of  this  description 
now  perpetrated  or  attempted,  and  requiring  the  utmost  car* 
and  watchfulness  on  the  part  of  the  public  to  avoid  being 
deceived  by  them.  No  class  nor  condition  in  society  is  exempt 


244 


PRACTISING  AT  THE  BAR. 


from  these  wiles ;  the  most  intelligent  and  shrewd  being  vie 
timized  quite  as  often  as  the  credulous  and  inexperienced. 

Lawyers,  clergymen,  editors,  farmers,  and  even  post  masters, 
have  all  in  turn  been  swindled  by  means  of  facilities  afforded 
by  the  post-office  system,  the  frauds  ranging  in  magnitude  and 
importance,  from  imaginary  papers  of  onion  seed,  to  “calls” 
for  ministerial  aid  in  the  momentous  work  of  converting  “  a 
world  lying  in  wickedness  !” 

It  is  with  a  view  to  put  those  who  may  peruse  these  pages 
on  their  guard,  that  a  few  rare  specimens  of  the  tricks  of  these 
“Jeremy  Diddlers”  are  here  exposed,  most  of  which  have 
come  to  light  within  a  few  months  of  this  present  writing. 

The  first  that  we  will  describe,  was  perpetrated  quite  suc¬ 
cessfully  upon  the  legal  fraternity,  and  some  of  the  most  dis¬ 
tinguished  members  of  that  highly  useful  profession  in  the 
different  States,  will  no  doubt  readily  recognise  the  truthfulness 
of  the  picture,  as  it  is  held  up  to  their  gaze.  This  “  dodge” 
may  properly  be  entitled 

YOUNG  AMERICA  PRACTISING  AT  THE  BAR. 

In  January  of  the  present  year,  the  post  master  of  Brooklyn, 
N.  Y.,  called  my  attention  to  the  fact  that  large  numbers  of 
letters  were  arriving  at  that  office  to  the  address  of  “  William 
H.  Jolliet,”  and  that  from  some  information  he  had  received, 
he  was  led  to  believe  that  the  correspondence  was  in  some  way 
connected  with  a  systematic  scheme  of  fraud. 

Arrangements  were  accordingly  made  to  watch  the  person 
who  was  in  the  habit  of  inquiring  for  the  “  Jolliet”  letters, 
and  the  next  time  he  called,  which  was  in  the  evening,  he  was 
followed  as  far  as  the  Fulton  ferry,  detained  just  as  he  was 
about  to  enter  the  ferry-boat,  and  questioned  in  reference  to 
the  letters. 

The  person  thus  interrogated  was  an  exceedingly  intelligent 
boy,  about  fifteen  years  of  age,  plainly  but  neatly  dressed,  and 
of  prepossessing  manners,  particularly  for  one  so  young. 
When  asked  what  he  intended  to  do  with  the  letters  he  had 


INGENIOUS  STATEMENTS. 


215 


just  taken  from  the  post-office,  he  manifested  great  self-posses¬ 
sion,  and  apparently  anticipating  trouble,  without  allowing  an 
opportunity  for  a  second  question,  he  hurriedly  asked, 

“  Why,  what  about  this  business  ?  I  have  been  thinking 
there  might  be  something  wrong  about  Jolliet’ s  letters.  I  am 
a  student  in  a  respectable  law-office  in  New  York,  and  would 
not  like  to  be  involved  in  any  trouble  of  this  sort.  I  can  tell 
you,  sir,  all  I  know  about  these  letters.” 

As  his  explanation  will  hereafter  appear  in  full,  suffice  it 
here  to  say,  that  he  threw  the  entire  responsibility  upon  a 
stranger  whom  he  accidentally  met  in  the  Harlem  cars.  The 
story  was  told  with  much  apparent  frankness,  and  a  gentleman 
passing  along  who  knew  the  lad,  and  confirmed  his  state¬ 
ment  as  to  his  connection  with  a  prominent  law- office  in  New 
York,  he  was  allowed  to  go  at  large,  under  a  promise  that  ,at 
an  appointed  hour  on  the  following  day,  he  would  call  on  the 
Brooklyn  post  master,  explain  the  matter  more  fully,  and  put 
him  in  possession  of  facts  which  would  enable  the  officers  to 
arrest  Jolliet,  if  that  was  thought  best. 

The  appointed  time  arrived,  but  the  young  man  did  not.  A 
rather  voluminous  package  of  papers,  however,  was  sent  as  a 
substitute.  These  papers  are  so  well  worded,  and  so  formally 
drawn  up,  that  I  will  here  introduce  two  of  them  verbatim,. 
The  reader  will  bear  in  mind  that  they  are  the  production  of 
a  boy  only  fifteen  years  of  age  : — 

New  York,  January  26,  1855,  12,  M. 

Post  Master,  Brooklyn,  L.  I. 

Dear  Sir : 

Being  detained  by  important  court  business  from  attending  to  my 
promise  given  to  you  yesterday  to  be  at  your  office,  I  am  obliged  to 
write  to  you.  I  enclose  a  statement  of  facts  which  I  think  sufficient 
to  get  a  warrant.  It  is  sworn  to  by  me  before  a  Commissioner  of 
Deeds  of  New  York,  authorized  to  take  acknowledgments  for  the 
State. 

I  saw  Mr.  Jolliet  yesterday  evening.  He  does  not  suspect  anything. 
I  told  him  that  the  mails  had  not  arrived  when  I  was  over  to  Brooklyn, 
yesterday ;  and,  in  course  of  the  conversation,  he  told  me  he  would 
21* 


246 


JOLLIET  GOING  A  SLEIGHING. 


take  a  sleigh  ride  to  Snediker's  on  Saturday.  Therefore,  it  is  important 
you  should  get  a  warrant,  and  take  him  upon  that  day.  He  also  told 
me  he  would  have  a  white  sleigh,  a  white  robe,  and  a  cream-colored 
pair  of  horses.  You  can  easily  know  him.  I  will  be  over,  if  no  acci¬ 
dent  intervenes,  to-morrow,  say  about  11  or  12  o’clock.  I  tracked 
him  to  the  Manhattan  bar-room  in  Broadway,  but  could  not  find  out 
his  residence,  as  he  stayed  too  late.  I  think  he  is  connected  with  a 
gang  of  rascals  who  have  made  this  kind  of  rascality  their  special 
business. 

I  am  acquainted  with  the  District  Attorney  in  this  city,  and  have 
thought  of  getting  him  to  bring  the  case  before  the  grand  jury,  and 
get  a  bench  warrant  out  in  Nefa  York  against  Jolliet,  in  case  you  should 
think  it  advisable. 

Meanwhile,  I  will  remain  still  about  the  matter  until  I  hear  from 
you  again. 

Yours,  vei’y  truly. 

„  Annexed  is  the  statement  of  facts  alluded  to  above  : — 


Statement  of  Facts.  A. 


During  the  month  of  November  or  Decemoer,  1854,  I  became 
acquainted  with  a  man  whom  I  knew  by  the  name  of  William  H. 
Jolliet.  He  seemed  to  be  about  25  or  30  years  of  age,  and,  by  bif 
dialect,  of  English  parentage ;  he  was  genteelly  dressed,  and  seemea 
to  be  a  gentleman  by  his  talk  and  manners.  He  came  to  know  me 
from  often  seeing  me  on  the  cars  of  the  New  York  and  Harlem  Bail 
Boad,  and  often  talking  to  me.  I  am  in  the  habit  of  doing  copying, 
&c.,  for  pay,  and  therefore  was  willing  to  do  anything  in  that  way, 
under  the  usual  circumstances — that  is,  for  pay. 

He  asked  me  one  day  if  I  was  a  man  of  business.  I  told  him  I 
was.  He  then  asked  me  if  I  could  make  a  copy  of  a  note  he  had  in 
his  pocket,  and  show  it  to  him  the  next  time  I  should  meet  him,  and 
not  to  say  anything  about  it  to  anybody.  I  told  him  I  would.  He 
gave  it  to  me,  and  it  was  something  as  follows — that  is,  substan¬ 
tially  : — 


Brooklyn,  L.  I.,  Jan.  G,  1855. 

Sir: 

I  have  received  a  package  of  papers  for  you  from  Liverpool,  Eng¬ 
land,  with  six  shillings  charges  thereon — on  receipt  of  which  amount 
the  parcel  will  be  sent  to  you  by  such  conveyance  as  you  may  direct 

Yours,  respectfully, 

William  II.  Jolliet 


PLAYING  THE  TRAITOR. 


247 


I  met  him  one  or  two  days  afterwards,  and  gave  him  his  original, 
and  my  copy.  He  said  it  was  very  well  done,  but  looked  too  much 
like  a  law-hand,  and  asked  me  if  I  couldn’t  write  more  of  a  mercan- 
cantile-looking  hand.  I  told  him  I  supposed  I  could.  He  then  gave 
me  my  copy,  and  told  me  to  buy  some  paper,  and  make  as  many  copies 
as  I  could,  and  direct  them  one  to  each  of  the  names  he  gave  me  on 
a  list,  and  mail  them.  I  told  him  I  would.  This  was  on  a  Saturday 
evening ;  and  on  Sunday  afternoon  I  wrote  about  a  hundred  copies 
of  them,  and  directed  them  and  sent  them.  I  met  him  on  Monday, 
and  he  asked  me  if  I  had  done  it.  I  told  him  I  had ;  he  then  asked 
for  the  list  of  names  he  had  given  me,  and  I  handed  it  to  him.  He 
asked  if  I  knew  the  names  I  had  directed  the  letters  to.  I  told  him 
I  did  not,  although  I  did  well,  my  suspicions  about  him  having  been 
aroused  by  his  request  for  secrecy. 

On  that  Sunday  on  which  I  wrote  the  notes,  I  made  up  my  mind 
to  play  traitor  to  him,  by  sending  the  notes  as  directed,  and  keeping 
all  answers  which  he  should  get  (he  having  told  me  to  call  for  them 
at  the  Brooklyn  Post  Office),  and  then  delivering  them,  with  my  evi¬ 
dence,  to  officer  B - ,  in  New  York,  whom  I  know  well  by  reputa¬ 

tion  as  a  good  officer,  and  an  American  in  fact  and  principle.  This 
was  foiled  by  my  disclosures  to  the  Post  Master  of  Brooklyn,  on 
Thursday. 

At  the  time  he  asked  me  to  make  the  copies  of  the  note,  he  gave 
me  a  five-dollar  gold  piece,  to  defray  expenses.  I  have  kept  a  copy 
of  the  list  he  gave  me,  and  also  of  another  which  he  had  given  me, 
and  which  I  returned  in  the  same  way.  I  have  mailed  about  200 
letters  in  all.  At  the  time  he  ordered  me  to  make  the  copies  of  the 
letter  and  mail  them,  he  requested  me  to  make  a  letter  and  direct  it 
to  him  at  Brooklyn,  and  mail  along  with  the  others.  I  did  so,  but  I 
asked  him  what  this  was  for,  and  he  said  he  wanted  to  know  how  long 
it  would  take  for  a  letter  to  go  from  New  York  to  Brooklyn.  But  I 
did  not  believe  him,  and  this  formed  part  of  the  causes  for  my  suspi¬ 
cions.  I  afterwards  received  the  letter,  I  think  it  was  Tuesday,  and 
gave  it  to  him.  At  the  time  of  my  first  mailing  the  letters,  I  dropped, 
by  carelessness,  a  list  of  the  names  of  persons  to  whom  they  were 
directed,  along  with  them.  Could  this  list  be  got,  it  would  tell  ‘us  a 
great  deal  about  the  transaction,  and  then  we  could  have  a  complete 
list  of  all  the  persons  addressed.  It  was  dropped  in  one  of  the  three 
new  boxes  on  the  south-west  corner  of  the  New  York  Post-Office. 

I  have  seen  him  since  he  first  spoke  to  me  about  this  affair,  five  or 
fiix  times,  (once  on  Friday,  Saturday,  Monday,  and  Tuesday,  and  twice 


248 


THE  AFFIDAVIT. 


on  Wednesday,  I  believe.)  He  lives  in  Harlem,  I  think.  I  don’t 
know  anything  further  of  interest,  and  close  with  the  ardent  wish, 
that  a  King’s  county  officer  will  get  the  credit  of  catching  one  of  the 
greatest  scoundrels  that  ever  lived,  thereby  ridding  the  community 
of  him.  G.  H.  B. 

City  of  Brooklyn, 

County  of  Kings,  ss. 

G.  H.  B - ,  of  the  city  of  New  York,  student  at  law  above  named, 

being  duly  sworn,  doth  depose  and  say  that  he  has  read  the  foregoing 
statement,  and  knows  the  contents  thereof,  and  that  the  same  is  true 
of  his  own  knowledge.  G.  H.  B. 

Sworn  before  me  this 
26th  January,  1855. 

B.  T.  B - , 

Comr.  of  Deeds. 

Being  satisfied  that  a  young  lad  of  sufficient  abilities  to  com¬ 
pose  these  documents  in  such  a  style,  could  not  have  been 
made  the  innocent  dupe  of  any  one,  especially  a  stranger,  I 
determined  to  lay  the  whole  matter  before  his  employer,  a  pro¬ 
minent  member  of  the  New  York  bar.  He  had  heard  nothing 
of  it  before,  and  was  much  pained  to  hear  my  narration,  for 
he  was  warmly  attached  to  the  young  student,  who,  up  to  that 
time  had  enjoyed  his  entire  confidence,  and  for  whose  im¬ 
provement  and  legal  education  he  had  taken  unusual  pains. 

A  moment’s  reference  to  the  Law  Register,  a  work  contain¬ 
ing  the  names  and  residences  of  all  the  members  of  the  legal 
profession  in  every  State  in  the  Union,  and  to  be  found  in 
almost  every  law  office,  showed  the  source  whence  he  had  ob¬ 
tained  the  list  which  had  been  u  dropped  by  carelessness”  into 
the  post-office,  for  pencil  marks  appeared  against  the  names 
of  most  of  the  country  lawyers,  but  including  none  of  those 
that  had  ever  been  correspondents  of  the  firm  with  which  he 
was  connected ! 

The  opinion  that  there  was  no  accomplice,  nor  even  princi¬ 
pal,  in  the  case,  beyond  the  boy  himself,  was  fully  coincided 
in  by  his  employer,  and  it  was  at  once  decided  to  call  the  lad 
up  for  a  private  examination. 


PRIVATE  EXAMINATION. 


249 


I  thought,  as  he  entered  the  room,  cap  in  hand,  and  with 
an  air  of  perfect  nonchalance ,  that  I  had  seldom  seen  a  more 
expressive  and  intelligent  countenance.  His  high  forehead, 
adorned  with  graceful  curls  of  brown  hair,  his  full  and  laugh¬ 
ing  eye,  and  the  regular  features  of  his  face,  seemed  made  for 
some  better  use  than  to  delude  unwary  victims. 

“  George,”  said  his  employer,  “  what  do  these  Jolliet  let¬ 
ters  mean,  that  you  have  been  sending  all  over  the  country  ?” 

Boy. — “  I  will  tell  you  all  I  know  about  it,  sir.  Some 
weeks  since,  as  I  was  coming  in  town  one  morning,  in  the 
Harlem  cars,  a  man  calling  himself  Jolliet - ” 

Agent. — “  Stop,  George,  and  hear  me  a  moment  before  you 
go  further.  We  don’t  want  to  hear  that  story.  We  know 
there  is  no  such  person  as  J olliet,  and  if  you  go  on  with  such 
a  statement  before  Mr.  F.,”  (his  employer,)  “your  pride  will 
render  it  harder  for  you  to  make  the  acknowledgments  that  I 
know  you  must  come  to.  You  have  had  no  accomplice,  and 
if  you  will  bring  me  the  Law  Register,  I  will  show  you  where 
you  got  the  names  of  the  lawyers  to  whom  you  sent  the 
letters.” 

Mr.  F. — “Now,  George,  you  see  that  Mr.  H.  knows  all 
about  it,  and  I  hope  you  will  not  attempt  to  deny  the  truth. 
I  am  deeply  pained  to  find  that  you  have  been  guilty  of  such 
misdemeanors ;  and  I  trust,  for  your  own  sake,  that  you  will 
make  a  clean  breast  of  it.” 

After  a  pause  of  a  few  moments,  the  young  man  acknowl¬ 
edged,  that,  being  “hard  up,”  he  had  resorted  to  this  plan 
to  obtain  funds,  and  that  he  knew  no  such  person  as  “  William 
H.  Jolliet.” 

Agent. — “  How  then  could  you  have  sworn  to  the  state¬ 
ment  you  sent  to  the  Brooklyn  post  master?  You  must  have 
been  aware  that  in  so  doing,  you  were  committing  perjury.” 

Boy. — “  Ah  !  but  I  did  not  swear  to  it.  My  name  is  at¬ 
tached  to  the  affidavit,  it  is  true,  but  having  prepared  it  be¬ 
forehand,  I  spoke  to  the  Commissioner  just  as  he  was  leaving 


250 


A  CARELESS  MAGISTRATE. 


tlie  officer,  and  he  signed  it,  but  in  his  hurry  he  forgot  to  ad¬ 
minister  the  oath.’ 7 

Agent. — u  But  that  omission  must  have  been  merely  acci¬ 
dental.  Supposing  he  had  required  the  usual  ceremony,  what 
would  you  have  done  ?77 

Boy. — “  I  have  so  often  seen  him  omit  it,  that  I  took  that 
risk.  If  he  had  insisted,  I  should  have  backed  out.77 

Subsequent  inquiry  satisfied  me  that  the  Commissioner  in 
question,  having  often  had  occasion  to  sign  affidavits  for  the 
young  man,  in  the  course  of  the  office  business,  was  not  al¬ 
ways  particular  in  administering  the  oath,  and  that  it  was  no 
doubt  neglected  in  the  present  instance. 

The  punishment  inflicted  in  this  case,  was  all  that  the  most 
indignant  victim  of  the  fraud  would  have  demanded;  and 
there  is  reason  to  believe  that  a  permanent  reformation  in  the 
character  of  the  young  man  has  been  the  result ;  and  that  the 
rare  talents  which  he  possesses,  will  yet  be  found  arrayed  on 
the  side  of  honesty  and  virtue. 

Answers  to  the  Jolliet  letters  continued  to  arrive  from  all 
parts  of  the  country,  for  some  time  after  the  discovery  of  the 
fraud,  as  here  related.  The  letters  that  had  accumulated  in 
the  Brooklyn  Post  Office,  were  sent  to  the  Bead  Letter  Office, 
opened,  and  subsequently  returned  to  their  respective  owners, 
with  their  contents,  accompanied  by  a  proper  explanation. 

In  nearly  every  instance,  the  dodge  had  been  successful. 
The  six  shillings,  or  that  amount  in  postage  stamps,  were  duly 
enclosed;  and,  in  some  instances  a  dollar,  to  make  even 
change,  with  directions  for  forwarding  the  mysterious  package. 

Such  an  unexpected  notice  had  no  doubt  given  rise  in  many 
cases  to  sundry  visions  of  heavy  fees,  which  were  to  flow  in 
upon  the  fortunate  correspondent  of  Jolliet,  for  conducting 
the  business  of  some  wealthy  capitalist  of  the  old  world,  who, 
attracted  by  his  professional  fame,  was  about  to  confide  to  him 
matters  of  great  weight  and  importance — perhaps  some  com¬ 
plicated  law-suit,  the  successful  issue  of  which  would  bring 
him  a  wealth  of  reputation  and  money,  compared  with  which 


A  LEGACY  IN  PROSPECT. 


251 


the  outlay  of  six  shillings  was  an  item  too  contemptible  to  be 
regarded. 

Or  some  sanguine  individual  might  scent  out  a  legacy  in  the 
“  package  from  Liverpool.” 

People  were  dying  every  day  in  England,  whose  heirs  lived 
in  this  country.  It  was  not  very  unusual  for  persons  to  in¬ 
herit  immense  fortunes  from  those  whose  names  they  had  never 
heard.  It  might  make  the  difference  of  thousands  of  dollars 
to  a  man  whether  his  name  was  Brown  or  White,  when  some 
possessor  of  one  or  the  other  name  came  to  leave  his  property 
behind  him.  And  it  would  be  a  pity  to  lose  the  chance  of 
securing  a  handsome  property  for  one’s  self,  or  the  opportunity 
of  acting  as  agent  for  somebody  else,  though  the  whole  affair 
might  prove  but  a  hoax,  and  the  chance  of  thus  finding  a  for¬ 
tune  rather  less  than  the  prospect  of  drawing  a  prize  in  a 
'‘gift  lottery.” 

It  was  amusing  to  peruse  the  letters  which  the  Agent  re¬ 
ceived  from  those  who  had  been  swindled,  acknowledging  the 
safe  return  of  the  letter  and  money  which  they  had  sent  to 
Jolliet.  Most  of  them  were  “  well  satisfied”  when  they  sent 
the  money,  u  that  it  was  all  a  hoax,”  but  then  it  was  a  small 
sum  that  he  applied  for,  and  they  thought  they  would  send  it 
to  the  fellow  for  the  ingenuity  he  had  displayed  in  11  raising 
the  wind  !”  All,  however,  seemed  very  glad  to  get  their  money 
again,  even  at  the  risk  of  allowing  such  talent  to  go  unre¬ 
warded. 

Some  wary  old  heads,  too  acute  to  be  caught  by  such  chaff, 
took  the  precaution  to  request  Jolliet  to  call  on  their  friends  in 
New  York,  leave  the  package,  and  get  the  six  shillings.  An¬ 
other  directed  that  it  should  be  left  at  the  Express  Office,  the 
expenses  paid  there,  and  when  the  parcel  arrived,  the  entire 
charges  would  be  promptly  met. 

Two  or  three,  not  content  with  informing  Jolliet  that  he 
had  not  taken  them  in,  indulged  in  a  somewhat  sarcastic  style 
of  correspondence.  The  following  are  two  specimens  of  this 
kind  of  reply  : — 


252 


JOLLIET  CROSS -QUESTIONED. 


P - ,  Feb.  2,  1855. 


Mr.  Wm.  H.  Jolliet, 

Sir: 

I  am  in  receipt  of  a  note  from  you,  informing  me  that  you  have  in 
your  possession  a  package  for  me  from  Liverpool,  Eng.,  on  which 
there  is  a  charge  of  6s.  sterling,  and  which  you  will  send  to  me  on 
receipt  of  the  above  sum. 

Sir,  I  cannot  but  think  it  a  little  strange  that  my  large  circle  of 
friends  and  correspondents  in  Liverpool  (a  circle  which  may  be  repre¬ 
sented  thus,  0)  should  have  thought  it  necessary  for  parcels  which 
they  send  me,  to  pass  through  your  hands,  unless  you  have  some 
connection  with  the  friends  aforesaid,  unknown  to  me.  Before  I  send 
you  the  sterling  money,  I  should  like  answers  of  the  like  quality,  to 
some  or  all  of  the  following  interrogatories: — 

1  st.  Who  are  you  ? 

2d.  Who  knows  you  ? 

3d.  Who  do  you  know  ? 

4th.  Is  “  Wm.  II.  Jolliet”  the  name  given  you  in  baptism  ? 

5th.  Wouldn’t  you  receive  less  than  six  shillings,  if  you  could 
get  it  ? 

Gth.  Do  you  think  you  have  taken  me  in  ? 

7th.  After  reading  the  above,  please  inform  me  whether  you  re¬ 
main  Jolly  yet. 


Not  your  victim, 


Jxo.  S 


H - ,  Jan.  28,  1855. 


Sir: 

I  know  I  am  ambitious.  I  have  my  aspirations.  My  fame  may  be 
extending.  Perhaps  it  is.  I  had  thought  it  was  local ;  confined  to 
this  county,  certainly  to  the  State.  But  it  seems  that  I  am  known 
abroad,  and  you  wish  me  to  pay  the  moderate  sum  of  seventy-five 
cents  for  verifying  the  fact.  Sir,  I  am  an  Anglo-Saxon.  I  rejoice  in 
it.  And  I  don’t  doubt  that  somewhere  between  Adam’s  time  and 
mine,  some  of  my  progenitors  have  inhabited  England.  But  I  believe 
they  have  all  died  or  moved  away.  So  you  see  it  isn’t  likely  that  I 
have  any  relations  in  Liverpool,  whence  came  the  package  you  say  is 
in  your  hands. 

In  the  next  place,  sir,  living  as  I  do  in  an  inland  town,  I  know 
little  of  those  “  who  go  down  to  the  sea  in  ships.”  (David,  Psalms, 
Cap.  107.)  And  all  my  particular  friends  are  in  this  country,  accord¬ 
ing  tc  the  best  of  my  knowledge  and  belief.  But  no  others  than  the 


VICTIMIZING  THE  CLERGY. 


253 


individuals  I  have  cited,  would  be  likely  to  send  me  packages  from 
foreign  lands.  It  therefore  follows,  sir,  that  the  aforesaid  package 
is  not  in  rerum  natura.  I  shall  be  happy  to  receive  from  you  any 
facts  which  may  vitiate  this  conclusion. 

Pending  this,  I  remain  yours,  &c., 

Ed.  B - . 

Mr.  Wm.  H.  Jolliet. 


We  have  allowed  tlie  lawyers  to  lead  off  in  tlie  melancholy 
procession  of  victims  of  rascality  which  we  have  undertaken 
to  display  to  our  readers ;  and  it  is  our  design,  in  marshaling 
our  regiment  of  “  the  Great  Deluded/’  to  place  the  clergy 
second  in  order.  Lawyers  are  (or  ought  to  he)  hard-headed, 
with  little  faith  in  mankind  at  large ;  while  it  is  the  general 
characteristic  of  clergymen  to  be  soft-hearted,  and  to  trust, 
sometimes  u  not  too  wisely,  but  too  well,”  in  the  integrity  of 
their  fellow  men.  In  addition  to  the  weak  points  which  they 
may  have  in  common  with  all,  and  through  which  they  are 
liable  to  be  successfully  assailed,  the  cultivation  of  that  spirit 
of  charity  which  u  thinketh  no  evil”  makes  them  slow  in  sus¬ 
pecting  villanous  designs  on  the  part  of  others ;  and  renders 
them  an  easy  prey  to  those  who  are  unscrupulous  enough  to 
use  their  unsuspecting  disposition  as  a  means  of  carrying  into 
effect  their  own  base  purposes. 

In  making  these  remarks,  we  are  far  from  wishing  to  cast 
any  slur  upon  the  native  shrewdness  or  penetration  of  the 
clergy,  which  would  be  unjust  to  them,  (for  there  are  few 
keener  intellects  than  those  that  are  possessed  by  some  who 
are  members  and  ornaments  of  this  body,)  but  our  object  is 
simply  to  mention  some  of  the  causes  which  often  make  them 
the  victims  of  imposition.  Many  of  them,  especially  those  who 
live  in  the  country,  occupied  as  they  are  with  the  duties  of 
their  calling,  in  the  retired  life  of  the  study,  and  in  inter¬ 
course  with  the  comparatively  honest  and  virtuous  community 
in  which  their  lot  is  cast,  are  somewhat  secluded  from  the 
22 


254 


METROPOLITAN  SERMON. 


world  at  large,  and  know  little,  except  by  report,  of  the  innu¬ 
merable  forms  of  deceit  and  iniquity  that  people  enact,  who 
live  outside  of  their  own  quiet  boundaries.  This  is,  perhaps, 
less  generally  true  at  the  present  time  than  it  was  years  ago, 
before  the  increased  facilities  for  communication  had  given 
equal  facilities  to  rogues,  who  have  chosen  our  large  cities  as 
a  field  for  their  nefarious  operations,  and  have  extended  them, 
by  means  of  the  mails,  to  the  remotest  corners  of  the  country. 

The  trick  which  we  are  about  to  describe  was  attempted  on 
a  large  scale,  and  the  trap  set  for  unwary  clergymen  was 
sprung  in  almost  every  section  of  the  country,  with  considera¬ 
ble  success,  though  some  of  the  intended  victims  were  too 
wary  to  be  thus  swindled. 

The  trap  alluded  to  was  in  the  form  of  a  letter,  of  which 
the  following  is  a  copy : — 


New  York,  Sunday,  March  18,  1855. 

Brother  P - : 

Being  at  leisure  this  afternoon,  and  somewhat  wearied  rather  than 
refreshed  by  the  morning’s  discourse  of  our  respected  pastor,  I  have 
concluded  to  sit  down  and  write  you,  though  utterly  unacquainted 
save  in  that  sympathy  which  persons  of  like  temperament  involuntarily 
feel  toward  one  another. 

It  is  the  apparent  coldness  and  formality  of  our  metropolitan  ser¬ 
mons  that  has  led  me,  by  a  pleasant  contrast,  to  think  of  you.  I 
heard  you  once,  while  passing  through  your  place — a  sermon  that 
has  many  times  recurred  to  my  memory,  though  its  calm  piety  and 
deep  perception  of  human  nature  may  be  weekly  occurrences  to  your 
congregation.  I  have  several  times  thought  it  would  be  well  for  our 
church  to  call  on  you  for  a  trial  here.  Our  house  is  wealthy,  and 
“  up  town,”  though  that  is  no  matter. 

I  had  almost  given  up  the  idea,  when  it  was  forcibly  returned  to 
me  yesterday  by  seeing  a  notice  of  you  in  the  new  publication  of 
travels  through  the  States ;  in  which  I  see  the  writer  has  heard  you, 
and  was  so  impressed  that  he  gives  a  strong  description  of  you  and 
your  style,  so  well  according  with  my  views,  that  I  feel  confirmed  in 
my  opinion  of  you.  You  have  probably  seen  it.  And,  aside  from  any 
vanity  at  praise  in  print,  or  any  pain  at  his  censure,  (for  he  finds  fault, 
too,)  I  think  a  preacher  cannot  too  much  study  his  style,  in  duty  to 


IMPORTANT  POSTSCRIPT. 


255 


his  Master  and  his  people,  by  learning  all  he  can  of  his  hearers'  views 
of  him,  if  not  for  the  praise  at  least  for  the  blame. 

So  you  see  I  yet  hope  to  sit  under  your  ministrations.  I  wish  you 
would  write  me,  immediately,  what  you  think  of  coming  here,  if  I 
propose  you.  My  bell  has  just  rung  for  tea,  and  I  close  hastily,  wish¬ 
ing  you  success  in  any  field,  and  “many  souls  as  seals  of  your 
ministry.” 

Yours,  in  the  Lord, 

A.  D.  Connelson. 

P.  S. — If  you  have  not  seen  the  notice  of  you,  (in  the  book  I  alluded 
to,)  I  will  get  it  for  you.  I  believe  it  sells  at  a  dollar  and  a  half,  or 
thereabouts. 

I  close  in  haste, 

A.  D.  C. 

Here  is  an  instance  of  one  wlio 

“Stole  the  livery  of  Heaven 
To  serve  the  devil  in.” 

The  author  of  this  production,  which  was  lithographed,  leav¬ 
ing  only  a  space  after  the  commencing  word  “  Brother,”  for 
the  insertion  of  the  name  of  the  person  addressed,  was  signed 
in  some  copies  as  above,  and  in  others  by  the  name  of  11 W.  C. 
Jansing.” 

We  can  easily  imagine  the  effect  of  such  an  artful,  flatter¬ 
ing  epistle  upon  the  mind  of  some  unsuspecting  and  humble 
country  pastor,  whose  chief  ambition  had  hitherto  been  to 
minister  to  the  spiritual  wants  of  his  little  congregation,  and 
who  had  never  before  indulged  the  thought  of  receiving  a 
u  call”  to  the  attractions  and  responsibilities  of  a  city  pastor’s 
life.  He  taxes  his  memory  in  vain  to  recollect  upon  what  oc¬ 
casion  any  stranger,  who  might  represent  the  devout  Connel 
son,  had  been  present  during  his  Sabbath  services,  and  in  like 
manner  fails  to  recall  any  reminiscences  of  the  author,  wlm 
in  his  “  Travels  through  the  States,”  had  also  heard  him,  and 
was  “  impressed”  so  remarkably  in  accordance  with  Mr.  Con- 
nelson’s  “  views.”  His  opinion  of  his  own  abilities  having 
been  elevated  several  degrees  by  the  united  testimony  of  two 
such  competent  witnesses,  he  begins  to  think  that  after  all,  it 


256 


SENDING  THE  MONEY. 


is  not  so  very  improbable  that  he  should  be  thought  of  as  a 
candidate  for  that  “  wealthy  ”  and  “  up-town  church.” 

“  Was  not  the  distinguished  Dr.  L - called  from  as  small 

a  place  as  this,  to  the  charge  of  a  large  city  congregation  ? 
And  I  remember  that  his  abilities  did  not  use  to  be  so  much 
superior  to  mine.” 

With  reflections  like  these,  he  works  himself  into  a  state  of 
mind  that  would  prevent  any  surprise,  were  he  some  day  to  be 
waited  on  by  a  committee  from  the  church  aforesaid,  with  the 
request  that  he  would  favor  the  congregation  with  a  specimen 
of  his  preaching,  with  the  additional  view  of  securing  the 
u  pleasant  contrast”  to  the  “  apparent  coldness  and  formality 
of  metropolitan  sermons,”  that  might  result  from  his  minis¬ 
trations.  At  any  rate,  it  would  be  gratifying  to  him  to  see 
for  himself,  what  the  traveling  critic  had  said  of  him  and  his 
sermons ;  not  that  he  cared  particularly  about  the  opinion,  so 
far  as  he  himself  was  concerned,  but  he  would  like  to  have 
his  people  know  that  their  minister  had  attracted  the  attention 
of  distinguished  characters  from  abroad.  So  he  replies  to  his 
spontaneous  correspondent,  intimating  that  he  should  have  no 
objection  to  taking  charge  of  the  u up-town”  church;  and  en¬ 
closing  a  dollar  and  a  half,  to  purchase  the  book  of  travels, 
which  he  does,  not  without  misgivings  that  he  is  sacrificing 
too  large  a  portion  of  his  slender  salary,  for  indulgence  in  the 
anticipated  luxury. 

It  is  almost  needless  to  add,  that  the  dollar  and  a  half  went 
to  the  “  bourne  from  which  no  traveler  returns,”  and  that 
our  clergyman  did  not,  in  this  instance,  display  u  that  deep 
perception  of  human  nature,”  which  so  often  recurred  to  the 
mind  of  the  admiring  Connelson. 

The  operations  of  this  worthy  were  soon  stopped  by  the 
New  York  post  master,  who,  having  received  letters  from  some 
of  the  shrewder  members  of  the  reverend  body,  enclosing  the 
above  epistle,  gave  the  matter  in  charge  to  the  police,  whose 
movements  alarmed  the  rogue,  and  blew  up  the  cheat,  before 
many  letters  containing  money  had  arrived.  Enough  came, 


REPLY  TO  CONNELSON. 


257 


however,  to  show  that  had  he  not  been  disturbed,  he  would 
have  feathered  his  nest  comfortably  with  the  spoils  of  thost? 
whom  he  had  plucked. 

These  letters,  remaining  uncalled  for,  became  u  dead”  in 
due  course  of  time,  and  were  returned  with  their  contents  to 
their  authors ;  doubtless  refreshing  the  heart  of  many  a  sor¬ 
rowing  minister,  who  supposed  that  he  had  seen  the  last  of 
his  money,  and  had  given  up  all  hopes  of  receiving  the  pro¬ 
mised  quid  pro  quo. 

I  insert  as  a  sort  of  epistolary  curiosity,  a  letter  addressed 
to  Connelson  by  one  of  his  intended  victims,  which  was  sent 
under  cover  to  the  New  York  post  master,  with  the  request 
that  he  would  read  and  deliver  it,  if  he  knew  the  whereabouts 
of  the  person  alluded  to. 


“  F - ,  March  23,  1855. 


“Mr.  A.  D.  Connelson. 

“Sir: 

“I  am  in  receipt  of  a  communication  from  you,  of  the  18th  inst., 
of  whose  flattering  contents  I  have  reason  to  believe  that  I  am  not  the 
only  recipient ;  as  I  am  not  ignorant  of  the  fact  that  the  art  of  litho¬ 
graphy  can  be  employed  to  multiply  confidential  letters  to  any  extent. 
If,  as  you  state,  you  have  at  any  time  heard  a  discourse  from  my  lips, 
I  regret  that  the  principles  which  it  inculcated  have  produced  so 
little  impression  upon  your  actions,  especially  as  it  has  ‘  many  times 
recurred  to  your  memory.’ 

“There  are  truths,  sir,  in  addition  to  those  you  may  have  heard  on 
the  occasion  referred  to,  (if  there  ever  was  any  such  occasion,)  which, 
judging  from  the  apparent  object  of  your  letter,  it  might  be  profitable 
for  you  to  recall.  I  would  recommend  to  your  attention  the  truth 
contained  in  the  following  saying  of  the  wise  man : — ‘  The  getting  of 
treasures  by  a  lying  tongue,  is  a  vanity  tossed  to  and  fro  of  them  that 
seek  death.’ — Prov.  21,  6. 

“You  have  expressed  a  hope  ‘to  sit  tinder’  my  ‘ministrations.’ 
I  trust  you  will  be  profited  by  the  few  words  I  now  address  to  you, 
and  if  you  feel  any  disappointment  in  failing  to  find  the  expected 
‘dollar  and  a  half,  or  thereabouts,’  you  will  have  to  console  your¬ 
self  with  the  reflection,  ‘  How  much  better  is  it  to  get  wisdom  than 

gold?  and  to  get  understanding  rather  to  be  chosen  than  silver?’ — 
09  * 


\ 


258 


THE  ONION  SEED  TRICK. 


Prov.  16,  16.  I  give  you  the  references  to  the  passages  quoted  that 
you  may  ruminate  on  them  at  your  Sabbath’s  ‘leisure,’  which  I 
hope  will  hereafter  be  more  profitably  employed  than  in  attempting 
to  perform  the  part  of  “  a  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing.” 

“  Your  well-wisher, 

Gr.  J.  T.” 

“  P,  S.  If  you  ever  happen  to  pass  through  this  place  again,  and  to 
be  detained  over  the  Sabbath,  your  name,  mentioned  to  the  sexton, 
or  indeed,  to  any  member  of  my  congregation,  will  secure  you  as 
good  a  seat  as  the  house  will  furnish ;  and  if  you  will  inform  me  of 
your  intended  presence,  beforehand,  I  will  endeavor  to  suit  my  dis¬ 
course  to  your  wants ,  if  not  to  your  wishes. 

“  ‘Not  what  we  wish ,  but  what  we  want , 

Do  thou,  0  Lord,  in  mercy  grant.’ 

“  If,  however,  circumstances  like  some  that  I  can  foresee,  if  you  con¬ 
tinue  in  your  present  course,  should  prevent  a  visit  to  our  place,  I 
hope  you  will  manage  to  be  satisfied  with  the  ministrations  of  the 
chaplain  at  Sing  Sing,  who,  I  understand,  is  an  excellent,  talented 
man.  And  I  trust  that  you  and  your  traveled  friend  will  agree  as 
well  on  the  question  of  his  merits  as  you  have  on  those  of  others.” 

Further  comment  on  this  case  is  unnecessary ;  and  we  would 
only  say  that  any  one  suspecting  an  imposture  in  any  such 
mode  as  the  foregoing,  need  not  be  prevented  from  indulging 
in  a  reasonable  suspicion,  by  the  charitable  thought,  “  This 
person  could  not  be  such  a  rascal  •/’  for  it  is  a  truth  that  should 
be  well  known  and  acted  upon,  that  no  amount  of  hypocrisy, 
deceit  or  audacity  is  too  great  to  be  practised  by  miscreants 
like  those  whose  villanous  devices  are  to  some  extent  exposed 
5n  these  pages. 


THE  ONION  SEED  TRICK. 

“  If  you  have  tears,  prepare  to  shed  them  now.” 

The  next  ingenious  u  dodge”  to  which  I  would  call  the 
attention  of  my  readers,  is  one  which  might  be  styled  double- 
barreled,  iuasmuch  as  it  brought  down  both  editors  and 
farmers  simultaneously. 


THE  SEED  MANIA. 


The  agricultural  portion  of  community  has  been  much 
exercised  of  late  years  on  the  subject  of  seed.  Astounding 
stories  have  circulated  through  the  newspapers  from  time  to 
time,  concerning  the  wonderful  prolific  powers  of  certain  kinds 
of  seed,  and  prices  have  in  some  instances  been  demanded  for 
these  choice  varieties,  which  remind  one  of  the  times  when  a 
laying  hen  of  the  right  breed  would  earn  more  per  day  for  her 
owner  than  an  ordinarily  smart  negro.  It  really  seemed  to  be 
the  belief  of  many  enthusiastic  persons,  that  seed  could  be 
brought,  by  careful  culture,  to  a  pitch  of  perfection  that  would 
almost  render  it  independent  of  the  assistance  of  mother  earth, 
save  as  a  place  to  stand  on.  The  improved  seed  was  to  do  it 
all.  However  desirable  it  might  be  to  obtain  seed  which  could 
be  warranted  under  all  circumstances  to  produce  heavy  crops , 
(which  of  course  can  always  be  done  after  a  certain  fashion, 
by  feeding  it  out  to  fowls,)  this  u  good  time  coming”  will  not 
be  hastened,  we  apprehend,  by  the  public-spirited  efforts  of 
a  Mr.  Joab  S.  Sargent,”  notwithstanding  the  glowing  prospects 
held  out  in  the  following  advertisement : — 

Farmers  and  Gardeners. — Attention  ! 

Spanish  Onion  Seeds. 

The  subscriber  will  send  to  any  part  of  the  United  States  and 
Canada,  a  paper  of  the  seeds  of  the  above  superior  Onion,  on  the 
receipt  of  ten  cents  (one  dime.) 

Farmers  and  Gardeners,  see  to  it  that  you  secure  the  best  of  seeds 
For  a  mere  trifle  now,  you  can  put  money  in  your  pockets  and  fat  on 
your  ribs. 

Address,  Joab  S.  Sargent, 

266  Hicks  St.,  Cor.  of  State, 
Brooklyn,  N.  Y. 

P.  S. — Publishers  of  newspapers  giving  the  above  and  this  notice 
three  insertions,  calling  attention  editorially  thereto,  and  sending 
marked  copies  to  the  subscriber,  will  receive  by  return  mail  three 
dollars’  worth  of  the  above  seeds,  or  a  copy  of  Barnes’  notes  on  the 
Gospels, valued  at  three  dollars  and  fifty  cents,  or  two  dollars  cash 
Address  plainly  as  above. 

April  11,  1855. 


260 


A  FIRST  RATE  NOTICE. 


Observe  bow  adroitly  the  cunning  Joab  aims  bis  thrusts  at 
tbe  most  vulnerable  spot  in  both  classes  of  his  victims. 
“  Publishers  of  newspapers,”  in  the  plenitude  of  Joab’s 
generosity,  are  to  have  their  choice  between  the  onion  seeds, 
the  gospel,  and  the  ready  cash,  if  they  will  but  make  known 
to  the  world  the  incomparable  qualities  of  the  genuine  Spanish 
article.  And  many  of  these  publishers  u  called  attention  to 
the  same”  with  a  will,  as  the  following  copy  of  one  of  those 
notices  will  show : — 

“  Something  new  for  Farmers  and  Gardeners. — See  our  advertis¬ 
ing  columns.  If  you  want  large  onions ,  get  the  real  Spanish  seed — a 
change  in  the  seed  works  wonders.  We  have  seen  bushels  of  onions 
imported  from  Spain  of  half  a  pound  weight  each,  and  as  large  as 
saucers.” 

It  may  be  well  to  say  here  that  no  onion  seeds,  11  Spanish” 
or  other,  were  sent  in  compliance  with  the  many  orders  which 
poured  in  upon  the  successful  Sargent  from  all  parts  of  the 
country,  excepting  that  a  few  of  those  first  received  were  sup¬ 
posed  to  have  been  answered  by  the  sending  of  a  few  seeds  of 
some  kind,  whether  onion  or  grass,  no  one  knew.  Perhaps 
the  recipients  will  discover  in  the  course  of  time.  The  editors 
were  equally  unfortunate.  Many  of  them  selected  the  “  Notes 
on  the  Gospels”  in  preference  to  the  seed  or  the  money,  yet 
their  wishes  were  not  destined  to  be  gratified. 

Let  us  see  how  this  tempting  advertisement  worked  on  the 
farmers  and  gardeners. 

Here  is  farmer  Johnson,  whose  boy  has  just  brought  in  his 
weekly  paper  from  the  office,  and  who  is  proceeding  to  refresh 
himself  after  the  labors  of  the  week,  with  the  record  of  what 
the  world  at  large  has  been  doing  in  the  same  time.  He 
deliberately  peruses  the  columns  of  his  hebdomadal,  dwelling 
with  solemnity  on  the  more  weighty  articles,  and  endeavoring 
to  laugh  over  the  funny  ones,  till,  after  having  exhausted  the 
11  reading”  department,  his  eye  goes  on  in  search  of  new 
advertisements,  which  he  can  distinguish  at  a  glance,  for  he 


THE  ELEPHANT  TRICK. 


‘<*61 

knows  all  the  old  ones  by  heart.  His  attention  is  arrested  by 
the  conspicuous  heading,  “  Spanish  Onion  Seeds.”  lie 
reads  it  over  carefully,  and  studies  every  word,  that  he  may  be 
sure  that  he  fully  and  correctly  understands  it ;  and  then  com¬ 
paring  it  with  the  editorial  notice  of  the  same  thing,  he 
rapidly  becomes  ^convinced  that  Spanish  onions  must  be  great 
things,  and  that  ten  cents  may  be  safely  invested  in  the 
speculation.  Visions  of  saucer-like  onions  rise  before  him ;  of 
prizes  in  Agricultural  Exhibitions ;  and  if  he  is  an  inhabitant 
of  Connecticut,  he  fancies  he  sees  the  former  renown  of  the 
ancient  town  of  Pyquag,  or  Wethersfield,  growing  dim  before 
the  lustre  of  Spanish  onions.  Accordingly  he  sends  the 
required  dime  to  Joab,  who  proved  to  be  like  the  elephant 
which  had  been  trained  to  pick  up  coin  from  the  ground  and 
place  it  on  a  lofty  shelf.  Upon  a  certain  occasion,  a  young 
gentleman  was  gratified  by  this  performance,  he  having 
furnished  a  half-dollar  for  the  display  of  the  animal’s  skill. 
After  the  piece  was  safely  deposited  far  out  of  reach,  the 
youth  requested  the  exhibitor  to  u  make  him  hand  it  down 
again.”  11  We  never  learnt  him  that  trick,”  was  the  reply  ! 

The  enterprising  Joab  reaped  an  abundant  harvest  of  dimes, 
and  floods  of  papers  poured  into  the  Brooklyn  post-office,  each 
one  containing  his  advertisement  marked,  agreeably  to  its  con¬ 
ditions,  and  a  few  words  written  upon  it  by  the  editor,  making 
his  choice  between  the  valuables  promised  by  Sargent,  and 
directing  how  to  send  the  books,  when  they  were  the  articles 
selected.  These  papers  were  of  course  charged  with  letter 
postage,  and  as  the  quantity  which  had  arrived  was  becoming 
somewhat  troublesome  by  its  bulk,  (since  Joab  took  very  good 
care  not  to  inquire  for  them,')  the  post  master  sent  to  266  Hicks 
Street,  in  order  to  notify  him  of  the  mass  of  news  waiting  for 
him  at  the  office,  as  well  as  to  make  some  inquiries  in  refer¬ 
ence  to  the  voluminous  correspondence  in  which  Mr.  Sargent 
was  engaged.  But  the  person  sent,  returned  with  the  report, 
u  non  est  inventus ,”  and  the  wary  deceiver,  having  doubtless 
taken  the  alarm,  came  no  more  to  the  office  to  inquire  for 


262 


A  BOLD  SWINDLE. 


letters;  so  that  although  the  rogue  was  11  unwhipped  ot 
justice/'  a  stop  was  put  to  his  unrighteous  gains.  This  case 
may  serve  as  a  warning  to  all,  to  look  with  distrust  upon  such 
advertisements  emanating  from  unknown  individuals,  especially 
if  the  promises  made  are  out  of  proportion  to  the  u  value 
received."  In  the  present  imperfect  state  of  human  nature, 
it  is  not  common  to  find  an  individual  offering  through  the 
papers  most  disinterested  proposals  for  the  good  of  people  in 
general,  without  the  fact  coming  to  light  sooner  or  later,  that 
he  had  rather  more  prominently  in  view  his  own  good  in 
particular.  And  I  will  conclude  with  the  following  aphorism, 
— If  you  want  onion  seed,  or  anything  else,  send  where  you 
know  you  will  not  be  cheated. 


A  GIFT  ENTERPRISE. 

The  fraud  of  which  I  am  about  to  speak,  also  depended  in  a 
great  measure  for  its  success  on  the  fact  that  it  could  be 
carried  on  through  the  mails. 

Gorgeous  hand-bills  were  sent  to  the  post-offices  throughout 
the  country,  accompanied  with  requests  to  the  different  post 
masters  to  act  as  agents,  and  allowing  them  a  liberal  per-centage 
on  all  tickets  sold.  Those  who  read  these  handbills  (sus¬ 
pended  on  the  post-office  walls,)  and  swallowed  with  expanded 
eyes  and  capacious  throats  the  magnificent  promises  which 
they  contained,  could  not  determine  by  anything  that  appeared 
on  the  surface,  whether  “Dashall  &  Co."  were  real  personages, 
or  merely  figments  of  the  brain ;  and  if  the  former,  whether  or 
not  they  were  able  and  willing  to  meet  their  engagements. 

The  scheme  certainly  had  as  fair  an  appearance  as  any 
u  Gift  Enterprise,"  and  the  “  local  habitation"  and  u  name," 
which  were  appended,  gave  more  probability  to  the  idea  that 
the  firm  in  question  was  not  a  myth  but  a  reality.  Thus  it  is 
evident  that  no  one  could  have  detected  the  fraud  without 
entering  into  a  course  of  investigation  which  would  have 
involved  more  time,  trouble,  and  expense,  than  most  people 


TEMPTING  PRIZES. 


263 


would  be  willing  to  devote  to  the  affair  under  the  circum- 
stances. 

The  following  is  a  copy  of  u  Dasball  &  Co’s.”  list  of  prizes  : 

150,000  Presents  to  be  given  to  the  purchasers  of  the  large  and 
elegant  engraving  of  the  “Inauguration  of  George  Washington,  Presi¬ 
dent  of  the  United  States,”  from  the  celebrated  painting  of  David  Paul 
Laurens.  Price  of  engraving  One  Dollar,  which  includes  a  gift-ticket, 
entitling  the  holder  to  a  chance  in  the  following  list  of  magnificent 
gifts. 

The  value  of  the  presents,  as  appraised  by  a  committee  chosen  for 
the  purpose,  is  $140,000,  as  follows: — 

A  splendid  Farm  on  the  Hudson  River,  completely  stocked, 

houses,  &c . $20,000 

Stone  Front  Dwelling  and  Lot  on  Fifth  Avenue,  N.  Y.  .  .  13,000 

A  magnificent  gold  Tea  Service,  property  of  the  late  G.  Van 

Denton .  4,000 

Silver  Wine  Service .  1,000 

The  Race  Horse  “  White  Raven” . .  8,000 

Coach,  Harness,  and  Horses,  a  magnificent  establishment .  .  3,500 

30  Shares  Central  Rail  Road  Stock .  3,000 

200  Fine  Watches,  $100  each  .  .  , .  20,000 

10,000  Gold  Seals  and  Charms . 10,000 

10,000  Gold  Pens  and  Silver  Holders .  5,000 

100  Boxes  Best  Cigars . .  .  i  500 

100  Gold  Guard  Chains .  1,500 

A  splendid  Buggy .  190 

“  Phaeton .  1,000 

A  Horse,  Harness,  and  Buggy,  splendid  affair .  500 

An  elegant  Dog,  St.  Bernard  . .  100 

Splendid  Fast-sailing  Yacht,  “  Spirit  of  the  Wave”  .  .  .  4,000 
The  fast  and  trim  pleasure  Yacht,  “  Evening  Bird”  .  .  .  1,000 

A  loan  for  25  years .  8,000 

.  5,000 

“  “  .  1,000 

(all  without  interest.) 

1  Rosewood  Piano .  *  B00 

3  Mahogany  Pianos .  1,500 

A  Farm  in  Ohio .  4,000 

A  Farm  in  Kentucky .  3,000 

A  Farm  in  Pennsylvania  . .  6,000 

\  Farm  in  Massachusetts .  .  10,000 


264 


ALL  FOR  A  DOLLAR. 


25,000  Yols.  Poems . 11,000 

Statue  of  “  Cigar  Girl,”  by  Reeves .  1,000 


Also  over  100,000  Paintings,  Statues,  Medals,  Charts,  Albums, 
Valuable  Books,  and  Portfolios  of  Engravings,  making  in  all  150,000 
gifts,  which  will  be  distributed  by  a  committee  appointed  by  the 
Shareholders,  and  forwarded  free  of  charge  by  the  Public’s  obedient 
servants, 

Dashall  &  Co., 

486  Broadway,  New  York. 

Whoever  concocted  the  above  list  certainly  deserves  credit 
for  the  expansiveness  of  his  views,  the  soaring  flights  of  his 
imagination,  and  the  nicety  with  which  he  adapted  his  various 
enticements  to  the  different  phases  of  human  nature  and  life. 

Was  the  reader  of  the  hand-bill  a  “  fast”  youth  ?  To  him 
a  dollar  opened  the  prospect  of  “a  horse,  harness,  and  buggy, 
— splendid  affair;”  or  “a  splendid,  fast-sailing  yacht;”  or 
(( 100  boxes  best  cigars ;”  or,  as  a  companion  to  the  above 
cigars,  “  Statue  of  Cigar  Girl,  by  Reeves.”  Did  the  list  of 
prizes  attract  the  attention  of  a  person  agriculturally  inclined  ? 
To  him  a  choice  of  farms  was  offered  in  the  varied  regions  of 
Massachusetts,  Pennsylvania,  Ohio,  or  Kentucky;  or  aa 
splendid  farm  on  the  Hudson  River”  awaited  some  fortunate 
individual,  who  had  sufficient  faith  in  good  luck  and  “  DashaL 
&  Co.,”  to  purchase  the  one  hundred  and  fifty  thousandth  part 
of  a  chance  to  secure  that  valuable  property.  The  man  of 
business  was  tempted  by  sundry  loans  “  for  25  years  without 
interest,”  and  by  “thirty  shares  of  Central  Rail  Road  stock.” 
Through  what  “  centre”  this  rail  road  ran,  unless  it  was  Dash- 
all  &  Co’s,  office,  the  deponent  sayeth  not.  Upon  the  man 
of  literary  tastes,  one  dollar  might  confer  “  an  elegant  selected 
library,”  while  the  lover  of  music  was  attracted  by  the  offer 
of  elegant  “  rosewood  and  mahogany  pianos.” 

Nor  was  the  fairer  portion  of  creation  forgotten,  in  the 
shower  of  gifts  which  was  to  fall  on  the  10th  of  March,  1855. 
The  ambitious  lady,  who  had  long  sighed  for  more  splendid 
adornments  to  her  table,  could  not  read  without  emotion  tho 


DESCENT  OF  THE  POLICE. 


265 


promise  of  “  a  magnificent  gold  tea  service,  tlie  property  of 
the  late  G.  Van  Denton.”  As  the  lamented  Yan  Denton  was 
doubtless  known,  in  tbe  circle  of  bis  acquaintance,  as  a  man 
of  taste,  tbe  promised  tea  service  must  bave  been  unexception¬ 
able  in  that  respect. 

“Melodeons,  Harps,  Paintings,  Albums,  Portfolios  of  En-1^ 
gravings,  &c.,”  formed  a  galaxy  of  attractions  wbicb  drew 
many  a  dollar  from  fair  bands. 

Tbe  engraving  of  tbe  “  Inauguration  of  George  Washing 
ton”  appealed  to  tbe  patriotic  feeling  of  every  American. 
Wbat  friend  of  bis  country  would  refuse  to  part  with  tbe 
paltry  sum  of  one  dollar,  wbicb  would  enable  bim  to  possess 
tbis  transcendent  work  of  art,  copied  from  tbe  “  celebrated 
painting”  of  tbe  no  less  celebrated  “  David  Paul  Laurens ;”  a 
blood  relation,  no  doubt,  of  tbe  departed  “Van  Denton.” 

Each  ticket  was  so  embellished  with  intimations  of  tbe  rich 
gifts  possibly  in  store  for  its  bolder,  as  almost  to  make  him 
feel  as  if  be  were  already  driving  a  “  blood  horse,”  or  taking 
bis  ease  in  tbe  11  magnificent  residence  on  the  Hudson.” 

Tbe  reader  is  by  this  time  probably  aware  of  tbe  true  cha¬ 
racter  of  “  Dasball  &  Co.,”  and  their  magnificent  scheme.  Tbe 
former  were  atrocious  impostors,  and  tbe  latter  was  only  a  bag 
of  wind. 

Tbe  suspicions  of  tbe  New  York  post  master  were  excited 
as  to  tbe  character  and  destination  of  tbe  numerous  letters 
wbicb  came  addressed  to  tbe  aforesaid  firm ;  and  tbe  Chief  of 
tbe  Police  taking  tbe  matter  in  hand,  a  detachment  from  that 
body  made  a  descent  on  486  Broadway,  where  they  found  a 
respectable  female  of  Milesian  extraction,  engaged  in  washing 
tbe  floor ;  and  observed  an  open  window,  through  wbicb  tbe 
representative  of  Dasball  &  Co.  bad  probably  made  bis  exit. 
There  was  no  furniture  of  any  description  in  tbe  room ;  so, 
having  secured  neither  “  persons”  nor  “  papers,”  tbe  civil  au¬ 
thority  was  compelled  to  beat  a  retreat,  not  without  sundry 
remonstrances  from  tbe  old  woman,  touching  tbe  invasion  of 

her  “ clane  flure .”  She  could  tell  them  nothing  about  tbe 
23 


266 


CAUTION  TO  POST  MASTERS. 


firm,  and  only  knew  that  she  was  sent  there  by  the  owner  of 
the  room  to'u  clane  up,”  which  occupation  she  resumed,  after 
imparting  this  information,  with  a  vigor  that  threatened  the 
immediate  submersion  of  the  intruders. 

The  parties  concerned  in  this  fraudulent  transaction  are 
supposed  to  have  cleared  upwards  of  fifty  thousand  dollars  by 
the  operation,  which,  allowing  for  the  per-centage  to  agents  and 
other  expenses,  proves  conclusively  that  there  was  more  than 
that  number  of  fools  existing  at  the  time  in  this  enlightened 
land.  We  would  hope  that  those  who  were  taken  in  by  this 
cheat,  will  not  be  thus  deceived  again. 

We  trust  that  the  foregoing  record  of  knavery,  whose  con¬ 
trivers  were  indebted,  in  some  measure,  for  the  carrying  out  of 
their  plans,  to  the  post  masters  who  acted  as  agents,  will  have 
the  effect  of  producing  greater  caution  on  the  part  of  these 
officials  as  respects  undertaking  agencies  for  unknown  indivi¬ 
duals.  It  would  seem  that  a  proper  regard  for  the  public 
interest  would  prevent  any  post  master  from  lending  himself, 
even  undesignedly,  to  a  fraudulent  scheme  like  this  of  u  Dash- 
all  &  Co.”  It  would  be  easy  to  refuse  to  have  anything  to 
do  with  proposed  agencies,  whose  principals  were  not  known 
to  the  post  master,  or  concerning  whom  satisfactory  informa¬ 
tion  could  not  be  obtained. 

The  adoption  of  this  practice  would  seriously  interfere  with 
the  operations  of  the  class  of  rogues  who  succeed  in  their  vil- 
lanous  designs  by  making  cats’  paws  of  honest  people  in  ways 
similar  to  that  above  described.  I  do  not  hesitate  to  say  that 
thousands  of  dollars  would  every  year  be  saved  to  those  who 
are  now  swindled  out  of  their  money,  if  post  masters  were  to 
take  the  course  suggested,  and  refuse  to  allow  hand-bills  con¬ 
taining  advertisements  to  be  posted  up  in  their  offices,  unless 
they  were  satisfied  of  the  reliability  of  the  parties  sending 
them. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 


POST-OFFICE  SITES. 

Embarrassing  duty — An  exciting  Question — A  “  Hard  Case” — Decease 
of  a  Post  Master — The  Office  discontinued — The  other  side — Call  at 
the  White  House — The  Reference — Agent’s  Arrival — Molasses  Inci¬ 
dent — An  honest  Child — Slicking  up — The  Academy — Stuck  fast — 
The  Shoe  Factoi’y — A  shrewd  Citizen — The  Saw  Mill — A  Tenantless 
Building — Viewing  the  “  Sites” — Obliging  Post  Master — The  de¬ 
funct  Bank — A  Funeral  Scene — The  Agent  discovered — Exciting 
Meeting — “  Restoration  Hall” — Eloquent  Appeals — A  Fire  Brand — 
Committee  on  Statistics — Generous  Volunteers — Being  “put  down” 
— Good-nature  restored — The  Bill  “settled” — A  Stage  Ride — 
Having  the  last  Word. 

Of  all  the  troublesome  matters  that  have  to  be  passed  upon 
and  decided  by  the  Head  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  the 
settlement  of  controversies  involving  the  location  of  small  post- 
offices,  is  undoubtedly  the  most  perplexing,  and  difficult  of 
adjustment. 

By  such  cases  we  are/orcibly  reminded  of  attempts  which 
we  have  witnessed  in  our  younger  days,  to  soothe  the  troubled 
breasts  of  an  angry  swarm  of  bees,  destitute  of  a  queen,  and 
uncertain  where  to  “locate.”  Whoever  tried  to  settle  the 
question  before  they  settled,  was  pretty  sure  to  get  well  stung 
for  his  pains. 

The  difficulty  above  referred  to  arises  from  the  conflicting, 
contradictory  representations  made  to  the  Department  by  inter¬ 
ested  parties,  governed  by  as  great  a  variety  of  motives  as  the 

(267) 


268 


PERPLEXING  SUBJECT. 


number  of  individual  wbims  and  interests  depending  upon  the 
settlement  of  the  u  vexed  question.”  Notwithstanding  the 
voluminous  documents  and  geographical  information  usually 
tendered  in  these  cases,  those  with  whom  the  final  decision 
rests,  often  find  themselves  perplexed  beyond  measure,  to 
know  what  is  for  the  true  interests  of  a  majority  of  the  citizens 
— that  being  the  only  object  aimed  at  by  the  Department — 
and  deem  it  necessary,  occasionally,  to  refer  the  subject  to  a 
Special  Agent,  with  instructions  to  visit  the  neighborhood, 
make  a  personal  inspection  of  the  different  sites  proposed,  and 
decide,  if  possible,  what  the  public  interest  and  convenience 
demand. 

In  some  instances,  where  the  emoluments  of  the  office  itself 
would  not  exceed  the  sum  of  fifty  dollars  annually,  and  where 
its  entire  abolishment  would  not  prove  any  serious  inconveni¬ 
ence,  a  whole  neighborhood  has  been  thrown  into  the  most 
intense  excitement,  and  feuds  and  animosities  have  been  en¬ 
gendered  which  the  partie®  concerned  will  perhaps  carry  with 
them  to  the  grave. 

But,  like  numerous  other  phases  of  post-office  life,  they  fur¬ 
nish  many  admirable  and  instructive  illustrations  of  human 
nature  as  it  is. 

During  his  experience,  the  writer  has  himself  been  fre¬ 
quently  charged  with  the  duty  of  becoming  the  medium  for 
the  settlement  of  local  disputes  such  as  have  been  alluded  to ; 
and  a  difficult  and  unpleasant  duty  has  he  often  found  it, 
though  a  better  school  for  studying  the  selfishness  and  other 
hard  points  of  the  human  character,  -cannot  be  desired. 

But  the  Government  official  who  is  sent  to  ascertain  the 
truth  in  one  of  these  post-office  disputes,  will  sometimes  find 
himself  about  as  much  embarrassed  as  have  been  his  superiors, 
and  unless  he  is  well  posted  up  in  the  shrewd  dodges  and 
ingenious  appliances  that  he  will  have  to  encounter,  will  find 
it  quite  as  troublesome  to  give  an  impartial  and  just  recom¬ 
mendation.  Decide  satisfactorily  he  cannot  of  course,  for 
those  whose  ends  are  not  answered  are  not  onlv  sure  to  gram- 


A  HARD  CASE. 


269 


ble,  but  to  charge  all  sorts  of  unfairness  upon  him  in  conduct¬ 
ing  the  investigation. 

The  town  of  M.,  situated  somewhere  East  of  a  line  drawn 
across  the  map,  from  New  York  city  to  Whitehall,  N.  Y.,  but 
out  of  the  State  of  New  York,  was  recently  the  scene  of  one 
of  these  hotly  contested  controversies ;  and  it  is  proposed  to 
give  an  outline  of  the  investigation,  as  it  stands  sketched 
among  the  author’s  official  notes,  under  the  head  of  a  “  Hard 
Case,”  with,  of  course,  some  additional  comments  and  illus¬ 
trations. 

In  extent  of  territory,  the  town  referred  to  is  about  six 
miles  square,  and  contains  three  small  villages,  one  compara¬ 
tively  new,  having  sprung  up  at  the  rail  road  depot  near  the 
West  line  of  the  town.  The  second,  about  two  miles  to  the 
Eastward  of  this ;  and  the  third,  about  two  miles  still  further 
to  the  East. 

Village  number  two,  in  the  order  in  which  they  have  just 
been  mentioned,  had  for  many  years  been  the  site  of  the  only 
post-office  in  the  town,  and  continued  in  the  uninterrupted 
enjoyment  of  this  monopoly  until  the  office  became  vacant  by 
the  death  of  the  post  master.  This  was  the  signal  for  a  move¬ 
ment  for  some  time  privately  contemplated  and  discussed  with¬ 
in  a  limited  circle  composed  of  a  few  of  the  knowing  ones 
residing  in  villages  numbers  one  and  three,  which  movement 
involved  nothing  less  than  the  establishment  of  a  post-office  at 
each  of  those  points,  and  the  abolishment  of  the  old  established 
one  at  village  number  two. 

A  petition  to  that  effect  was  hastily  drawn  up  and  circulated 
chiefly  among  those  whose  interests  in  the  plan  sought,  would 
be  apt  to  secure  secrecy,  due  care  being  taken  to  say  quite  as 
much  in  favor  of  the  new  sites  and  against  the  old  one,  as  the 
facts  in  the  case  would  warrant.  This  petition  was  dispatched 
to  Washington  in  charge  of  an  influential  person,  whose  hot 
haste  for  immediate  action  was  rendered  tolerably  reasonable 
by  the  fact,  that  the  decease  of  the  post  master  left  the  com¬ 
munity  without  any  appointed  guardian  of  its  postal  interests 
23* 


270 


FORMIDABLE  REMONSTRANCE. 


A  fair  case  haying  been  made  out  according  to  the  meagre 
information  before  the  Department,  and  the  aforesaid  bearer 
of  dispatches  not  hesitating  to  supply  verbally  what  seemed 
to  be  lacking  in  other  forms,  with  one  fell  swoop  of  the  pen 
of  the  Post  Master  General,  the  glory  departed  from  village 
number  two  to  its  more  fortunate  rivals,  numbers  one  and 
three ;  and  by  the  same  trifling  operation,  two  very  competent 
and  suitable  individuals  were  promoted  from  the  condition  of 
private  and  unassuming  citizenship,  to  the  dignity  and  respon¬ 
sibilities  of  deputy  post  masters  of  the  United  States  of 
America ! 

When  the  news  of  this  sad  calamity  reached  the  staid  and 
peaceable  villagers,  who  had  thus  been  unexpectedly  deprived 
of  their  ancient  postal  privileges,  rest  assured  it  was  no  favor¬ 
able  time  for  the  organization  of  a  Peace  Society !  Such  oil 
would  not  still  these  waves  !  Their  late  beloved  and  popular 
post  master  had  become  a  “  dead  letter,”  though  properly 
u  addressed,”  as  was  fondly  hoped,  by  the  heavenly  “  Mes¬ 
sengers”  who  beckoned  him  away  from  other  duties,  to  u  wrap” 
and  u  box  up” — and  now  even  the  post-office  itself  had  been 
prematurely  u  taken  away”  also. 

Not  many  suns  had  risen  and  set,  however,  before  the  other 
side  of  the  picture  was  prepared  and  presented  at  Washington, 
and  now  the  ball  had  fairly  opened,  with  the  orchestra  in  full 
blast.  A  formidable  remonstrance  had  received  the  signatures 
of  all  the  u  legal  voters,”  and,  as  was  charged  on  the  other 
side,  of  many  whose  elective  rights  were  not  so  easily  settled. 

The  customary  accusations  of  unfairness,  improper  influence, 
stealing  a  march,  downright  misrepresentations,  &c.,  were 
called  in  requisition  to  show  the  Department  that  this  u  out¬ 
rage”  on  the  citizens  was  unwarrantable;  and  the  important 
trust  of  conveying  this  evidence  to  the  seat  of  Government, 
fell  to  the  lot  of  a  certain  gentleman  well  known  among  poli¬ 
tical  circles  in  that  section  of  the  country,  and  supposed  to 
possess  a  fair  share  of  influence  with  the  appointing  power. 
He  repaired  to  Washington,  made  his  first  call  at  the  White 


PUBLIC  OFFICIALS  INVOLVED. 


271 


House,  and  labored  hard  to  enlist  the  feelings  of  the  Chief 
Executive  in  the  case,  but  a  few  words  from  that  distinguished 
official  were  sufficient  to  show  that  such  interference  in  a  com¬ 
paratively  unimportant  matter  could  not  reasonably  be  expected 
of  him. 

The  President  did  however  show  his  respect  for  his  visitor, 
who  happened  to  be  an  old  personal  friend,  by  escorting  him 
down  to  the  Department,  and  introducing  him  to  the  Post 
Master  General.  The  Governor  of  the  State  was  also  in  the 
case,  the  two  United  States  Senators,  and  several  of  the  mem¬ 
bers  of  Congress,  as  the  files  of  the  papers,  pro  and  con,  clearly 
demonstrated.  Not  that  they  felt  any  personal  interest  in  the 
result  of  the  controversy,  but  because  their  political  relations 
with  many  of  those  who  did,  were  such  that  they  could  not 
well  resist  their  importunities  to  come  up  to  their  relief. 

On  patiently  listening  to  the  statements  of  the  representa¬ 
tive  from  the  seat  of  war,  and  re-examining  the  documentary 
evidence,  the  Post  Master  General  declined  to  reverse  his 
former  decision,  but  suggested  sending  one  of  the  Depart¬ 
ment’s  Agents  to  investigate  the  whole  matter.  This  course 
was  adopted,  and  the  responsibility  thus  transferred  for  the 
time  being,  to  the  shoulders  of  the  to  be  author  of  “Ten 
Years.” 

For  many  days  before  he  arrived  upon  the  ground,  the 
excitement  both  among  the  vanquished  and  the  vanquishing, 
was  at  the  highest  pitch ;  information  that  such  reference  of 
the  case  had  been  made,  having  been  conveyed  to  both  parties 
on  the  return  of  the  distinguished  politician  from  the  Capital. 

Post  master  number  one,  however,  could  not  await  the  slow 
process  of  that  form  of  justice,  so  he  dispatched  a  semi-offi¬ 
cial  private  note  to  me,  nearly  as  follows,  if  my  memory  serves 
me : 

Sir :  _ 

Will  you  please  inform  me  if  you  have  been  instructed  to  visit  this 
place  in  connection  with  our  post-office  controversy.  If  so,  I  would 
like  to  be  informed  of  the  time  of  your  visit,  as  I  wish  to  post  you  up 


272 


ARRIVAL  OF  THE  AGENT. 


as  to  certain  parties  here  whose  true  position  you  ought  to  under¬ 
stand  before  their  testimony  in  the  case  is  heard. 

Yours  truly, 

F.  B.  S - . 

P.  S. — If  I  knew  when  you  are  to  arrive,  I  would  be  at  the  cars. 

To  this  I  simply  replied  that  I  could  not  fix  upon  the  pre¬ 
cise  day,  hut  would  call  upon  him  on  my  arrival. 

One  lovely  afternoon  of  a  lovely  day  in  October,  the  u  Agent” 
might  have  been  seen  alighting  from  the  car  at  the  rail  road 
station  at  M.,  fully  impressed,  of  course,  with  the  difficulty  of 
the  task  before  him,  but  with  a  sincere  desire  to  carry  out,  if 
possible,  the  intention  of  Government,  and  to  mete  out  equal 
and  exact  justice  to  all  parties. 

A  new  and  flourishing-looking  store,  the  only  one  by  the 
way  in  the  neighborhood,  with  a  small  sign  over  the  door,  with 
the  words  u  Post-Office”  inscribed  thereon,  saved  me  the  ne¬ 
cessity  of  inquiring  for  post-office  site  number  one.  In  a  few 
moments  I  found  myself  in  the  presence  of  the  merchant  and 
post  master,  who  proved  to  be  a  young  man  of  prepossessing 
and  business-like  appearance. 

A  few  questions  on  my  part  served  to  apprise  him  of  the 
official  character  of  the  person  by  whom  he  was  addressed,  and 
also  to  cause  his  momentary  neglect  of  a  young  customer  for 
whom  he  was  just  then  engaged  in  answering  an  order  for  a 
gallon  of  molasses.  The  little  damsel  who  was  there  upon  the 
saccharine  errand,  regarded  me  with  open-eyed  awe,  having 
probably  heard  something  of  the  Department  in  the  course  of 
the  all-pervading  Post-Office  controversies  of  the  last  few 
months,  and  cast  as  many  stolen  glances  at  me  as  her  modesty 
would  allow,  thus  securing  a  mental  daguerreotype,  to  be  dis¬ 
played  for  the  benefit  of  her  wondering  parents,  after  her 
return  home  with  the  double  load  of  news  and  molasses. 

In  his  embarrassment  at  my  sudden  arrival,  the  post  master 
forgot  the  molasses,  and  in  a  moment  quite  a  torrent  of  the 
thick  liquid  had  overflowed  its  bounds,  and  formed  a  pool  upon 
the  floor. 


THE  MOLASSES  INCIDENT. 


273 


“  Post  master,”  said  I,  “  you  have  left  your  molasses  run¬ 
ning  over.”  In  his  eagerness  to  stop  the  leak,  he  went  plump 
into  the  sweet  puddle,  with  both  feet,  and  any  time  that  day 
his  tracks  might  have  been  seen  all  over  the  store. 

“  Never  mind,”  said  he,  “  accidents  will  happen;”  at  the 
same  time  drawing  his  feet  across  some  waste  paper  upon  the 
floor.  The  young  customer  smiled,  hut  during  the  running 
over  process,  she  had  said  not  a  word,  for  by  the  means  she 
was  getting  “scripture  measure.”  She  handed  the  post  mas¬ 
ter  a  bank-note  in  payment,  who,  still  laboring  under  conside¬ 
rable  excitement,  made  her  the  wrong  change,  doing  himself 
out  of  at  least  half  the  cost  of  the  molasses,  which,  together 
with  the  loss  of  the  surplusage,  made  it  anything  but  a  pro¬ 
fitable  business  transaction  for  him. 

But  the  little  girl  was  honest.  She  counted  and  recounted 
the  change  that  had  been  given  her,  and  with  that  peculiar 
expression  that  in  one  like  her  attends  the  consciousness  of 
an  honest  act,  she  threw  it  all  back  upon  the  counter,  remark¬ 
ing,  “  You  have  given  me  too  much,  sir.” 

The  countenance  of  the  post  master  gave  evidence  by  this 
time  of  not  a  little  mortification  at  the  occurrence  of  two  such 
awkward  blunders  in  the  presence  of  a  dignitary  all  the  way 
from  Washington;  and  in  his  hurry  to  turn  my  attention  from 
them,  he  forgot  even  to  thank  the,  child  for  her  honest  con¬ 
duct,  as  he  returned  her  the  change  “  revised  and  corrected.” 

But  I  did  not.  Wishing  not  to  cast  an  implied  censure 
upon  sweet-foot,  I  passed  to  the  piazza  of  the  store,  to  throw 
aside  the  stump  of  an  Havana,  (or  a  “  Suffield,”  as  the  case 
may  have  been,)  and  unobserved  by  him,  handed  her  a  quarter, 
which  she  acknowledged  by  a  blushing  smile,  and  a  low  cour¬ 
tesy. 

Returning,  I  missed  the  post  master  for  a  moment,  and 
stepping  within  sight  of  the  floor  behind  the  counter,  I  could 
distinctly  see  the  molasses  tracks  going  toward  a  small  en¬ 
closure  at  the  other  end  of  the  counter.  It  proved  to  be  the 
apartment  used  for  the  post-office.  Stepping  a  little  further 


274 


THE  CASE  OPENED. 


behind  the  counter,  I  spied  my  new  and  confused  acquaint¬ 
ance,  arranging  the  books,  letters,  and  papers,  apparently  in 
great  haste.  Seeing  that  I  had  returned  to  the  store  and  now 
observed  him,  he  advanced  towards  me  a  few  paces. 

“  I  usually  keep  things  in  better  order  in  the  post-office,” 
said  he,  “but  I  was  away  this  forenoon,  and  my  boy  has  got 
things  a  little  mixed  up.” 

/ 

“  Never  mind  that  now,”  I  replied;  “I  am  in  something  of 
a  hurry,  and  want  to  enter  at  once  on  the  business  upon  which 
I  came.  What  is  all  this  fuss  that  the  people  of  the  old 
village  are  making  about  the  new  post-office  arrangements  ? 
By  the  row  they  are  kicking  up  at  Washington,  the  Depart¬ 
ment  are  almost  led  to  believe  there  was  something  unfair  in 
the  means  adopted  to  effect  the  change,  and  that  they  may 
have  erred  in  their  decision.” 

This  plain  and  informal  opening  of  the  case  seemed  to 
restore  his  self-possession. 

“Well,  they  have  tried  to  make  a  fuss,  that’s  a  fact,  but 
it’s  more  spunk  than  anything  else.  You  see  this  is  a  new 
village,  and  although  there  are  not  yet  many  buildings,  busi¬ 
ness  is  fast  centering  here,  and  it’s  bound  to  be  the  'place. 
The  folks  up  there  have  to  come  to  the  depot  constantly,  and 
if  they  only  think  so,  can  be  just  as  well  accommodated  here. 
They  hate  to  lose  a  good  place  to  loaf  in,  that’s  all  there  is  to 
it.  They  don’t  need  a  post-office  no  more  than  a  rail  road 
wants  a  guide  post. 

“  They  will  tell  you  a  great  deal  about  their  Academy,  and 
talk  big  about  other  things.  As  to  the  Academy,  it  has  got 
reduced,  and  most  of  the  pupils  who  do  attend,  either  belong 
to  the  upper  village  where  they  have  a  post-office  now,  or  have 
to  pass  right  by  this  door  in  going  to  school.  But  few  of 
them  being  from  abroad,  they  have  but  little  correspondence 
any  way.  Then  you  will  hear  tall  speechifying  about  a 
flourishing  hat  factory  which  perhaps  did  something  once,  but 
can  hardly  be  said  to  be  in  operation  now.  I  hear  they  claim 
to  have  three  extensive  stores  in  the  village.  Now  if  you  will 


THE  SHOE  FACTOllY. 


275 


look  for  yourself,  you  will  see  two  small  affairs  that  don’t  both 
together  sell  half  the  goods  that  I  do,  and  as  to  the  third,  it 
was  closed  some  time  ago,  and  if  the  owner  went  away  in  broad 
daylight,  then  common  report  does  him  great  injustice.” 

After  a  few  remarks  in  the  same  vein,  in  the  course  of  which 
he  waxed  quite  eloquent,  he  closed  by  offering  to  take  me  in 
his  wagon  and  show  me  the  other  two  villages.  He  had  been 
standing  quite  still  during  the  delivery  of  this  speech,  and 
considerable  effort  was  required  to  raise  his  feet  to  go  in  the 
direction  of  his  hat,  the  adhesive  qualities  of  the  syrup  still 
holding  out. 

I  thanked  him  for  the  offer,  but  said  I  must  decline  it,  as  I 
desired  to  avoid  all  cause  of  jealousy  in  my  mode  of  investi¬ 
gation,  and  further  remarked,  that  I  would  prefer  to  take  a 
general  view  of  all  the  localities,  without  the  aid  or  explana¬ 
tions  of  any  of  the  parties  interested )  and  that  after  this  had 
been  done,  I  would  give  all  hands  a  fair  and  impartial  hearing. 

“  Very  well,”  said  he,  “all  we  ask  is  fair  play,  but  you  will 
have  to  make  a  good  deal  of  allowance  for  the  extravagant 
statements  of  the  leaders  in  the  old  village.  I  can  prove  that 
they  have  got  democrats  to  sign  to  have  the  office  restored, 
who  are  on  our  paper,  and  who  say  they  were  deceived  when 
they  signed  theirs.” 

Having  heard  about  enough  of  this,  I  had  gradually  moved 
along  to  the  store  door,  when  my  eye  rested  upon  a  large 
wooden  building  near  by,  several  stories  high,  and  with  an 
unusual  number  of  windows,  about  the  only  building  of  any 
size  in  the  vicinity. 

“  What  is  that  ?”  I  asked,  at  the  same  time  pointing  to  it. 

‘  That  ? — that  is  a  shoe  manufactory.” 

“  How  many  hands  are  employed  there  ?”  I  inquired. 

Just  then,  a  fine-looking,  elderly  gentleman,  with  an  air 
which  denoted  that  he  had  a  right  to  do  pretty  much  as  he 
pleased,  stepped  upon  the  piazza,  and  was  introduced  to  me 
by  the  post  master  as  his  father-in-law,  not  omitting  of  course 


276 


KEEN  OPERATION. 


to  inform  his  respected  relative  that  I  was  no  less  a  personage 
than  the  identical  gentleman  expected  from  Washington. 

“Ah,”  said  he,  u  I  am  glad  the  Department  has  seen  fit  to 
send  so  competent  a  person  to  look  into  this  business,  and  I 
hope,  sir,  it  will  he  thoroughly  done.” 

This  was  said  in  a  gentlemanly,  dignified  manner,  and  he 
passed  into  the  store  without  any  further  conversation.  But 
the  term  u  competent  person,”  as  applied  to  me,  warned  me 
that  I  should  probably  find  it  necessary  to  guard  against  u  soft 
sodder”  also,  as  one  of  the  means  of  persuasion,  and  made  me 
half  suspicious  that  he  might  not  be  the  impartial  and  disin¬ 
terested  individual  that  he  appeared  at  first  sight. 

The  suspicion  was  just,  for  I  afterwards  learned  that  he  was 
a  wealthy  and  enterprising  whig  citizen,  owning  a  beautiful 
mansion  and  a  good  deal  of  other  property  in  village  number 
three,  (one  of  the  new  sites,)  and  that  he  was  the  proprietor 
of  a  good  share  of  the  real  estate  at  the  depot  village ;  and 
further,  that  he  had  been  mainly  instrumental  in  getting  the 
changes  effected.  His  personal  interests  in  them  footed  up  as 
follows :  A  post-office  established  at  the  village  of  his  resi¬ 
dence,  and  a  post-office  at  the  depot  village,  (where  the  store 
in  which  it  was  kept  belonged  to  him,)  and  his  son-in-law  ap¬ 
pointed  post  master  !  A  shrewd  Yankee  operation  that, 
though  I  could  discover  the  adoption  of  no  dishonorable 
means  in  securing  these  advantages.  It  was  decidedly  smart, 
though,  and  it  isn’t  every  body  who  could  have  successfully 
executed  such  a  programme,  after  it  had  been  arranged. 

This  interruption  of  the  conversation  between  the  post  master 
and  myself,  came  in  just  in  time  to  stave  off  an  answer  to  my 
question  about  the  large  building  in  view,  and  my  friend  no 
doubt  considered  that  an  effectual  stop  was  put  to  further  in¬ 
quiries  on  that  subject.  But  not  so.  Failing  to  discover  any 
signs  of  thrift  or  vitality  in  or  about  the  huge  edifice  referred 
to,  I  now  repeated  the  inquiry. 

“  I  was  asking  how  many  persons  are  employed  in  that  shoe 
factory  ?” 


( 


THE  SAW  MILL. 


277 


Before  I  had  fairly  finished  the  sentence,  however,  he  had 
darted  into  the  store  and  returned  with  two  Havanas,  (?)  say¬ 
ing,  u  Come,  have  a  smoke,  and  let’s  walk  over  and  take  a 
look  at  the  saw  mill,”  which  by  the  way  happened  to  be  in  an 
opposite  direction  from  the  aforesaid  shoe  establishment. 

I  consented,  however.  The  mill  was  in  operation,  and  the 
stream,  such  as  it  was,  kept  up  a  pretty  respectable  roar, 
though  you  could  hear  yourself  converse,  I  noticed,  quite  as 
easily  as  by  the  side  of  old  Niagara  just  after  a  smart  shower ! 

Feeling  somewhat  humorously  inclined,  owing  to  his  per¬ 
severing  evasion  of  my  researches  as  to  the  boot  and  shoe 
enterprise,  I  remarked  as  we  stood  observing  the  perpendicu¬ 
lar  thrusts  of  the  saw  through  a  submissive-looking  log,  u  This 
is  the  boarding  house  spoken  of  in  your  post-office  petitions, 
isn’t  it  ?” 

He  did  not  (C  take,”  however,  but  gravely  replied  that  they 
had  turned  out  stacks  of  boards  since  the  mill  was  started, 
and  that  they  had  thou 
well  as  days. 

As  I  could  conceive  of  no  very  direct  connection  between  a 
saw  mill  and  a  post-office,  and  not  caring  to  have  too  much 
saw  dust  thrown  in  my  eyes,  nor  to  countenance  any  log-rolling 
operation,  I  moved  off  toward  the  store  again.  But  not  a  word 
was  volunteered  about  the  “  factory,”  so  I  marched  straight 
over  to  it,  and  trying  one  of  the  main  doors,  found  it  all  fast 
as  I  had  suspected.  I  was  about  to  repeat  the  attempt  at 
another  part  of  the  building,  but  the  post  master  had  now 
arrived  on  the  ground,  and  his  reluctant  explanation  saved  me 
further  trouble  on  that  head  at  least. 

u  Owing  to  the  hard  times,  it  is  not  occupied  now,  but  until 
lately  it  has  employed  some  thirty  or  forty  hands.  They’ll 
get  agoing  again  soon,  and  intend  to  employ  some  eighty  work¬ 
men.  The  suspension  is  only  temporary.” 

“  Worse  off  than  the  hat  factory  of  which  you  spoke,  at 
the  other  village,”  I  observed.  He  made  no  reply. 

Finding  I  could  obtain  no  independent  conveyance  by  which 

24 


ght  of  keeping  it  running  nights  as 

- 


278 


AN  INTERESTED  GUIDE. 


to  make  the  tour  of  observation  through  the  other  parts  of  the 
town,  I  accepted  the  offer  of  a  young  man  who  drove  up  to 
the  store  very  opportunely,  to  whom  the  idea  was  suggested 
by  the  post  master,  and  who,  it  was  hinted,  was  in  no  way 
identified  with  this  vexatious  dispute. 

During  the  first  mile  or  so  of  our  ride  his  neutrality  seemed 
well  sustained,  but  it  began  rapidly  to  disappear  as  we  came 
in  sight  of  the  village  which  had  been  bereft  of  its  post-office 
as  well  as  its  post  master,  his  answers  to  my  questions  betray¬ 
ing  a  decided  bias  toward  the  u  let  well  enough  alone”  policy 
as  applicable  in  this  case. 

I  did  not  propose  to  stop  there  at  this  time,  but  to  pass 
through  to  the  upper  village, — but  my  suspicions  that  I  had 
after  all  committed  myself  to  the  temporary  keeping  of  one  of 
the  friends  of  the  new  sites,  were  fully  confirmed  when  I  found 
him  taking  a  narrow  by-way  through  the  old  settlement,  poorly 
calculated  to  show  off  the  place  to  much  advantage. 

u  Look  here,”  said  I,  “  don’t  go  through  this  hollow,  but 
take  a  turn  round  by  those  spires,  and  let  me  see  what  they 
have  got  to  brag  about.” 

Coming  to  a  halt,  and  backing  round  in  a  somewhat  spiteful 
manner,  during  which  manoeuvre  we  came  near  upsetting,  he 
•  soon  came  upon  the  route  indicated. 

Whether  from  a  conviction  that  there  was  no  use  in  trying 
to  cheat  me  any  longer,  or  from  the  study  requisite  for  the 
invention  of  some  new  system  of  tactics  likely  to  be  more 
successful,  he  said  but  little  more  during  the  rest  of  our  ride. 

I  subsequently  ascertained  that  he  and  the  scheme  of  getting 
two  post-offices  for  one,  rejoiced  in  one  and  the  same  paternity, 
or  in  other  words,  that  his  mother  was  the  wife  of  the  enter¬ 
prising  and  wealthy  gentleman  before  mentioned,  and  like  a 
good  and  dutiful  son,  he  “  went  in”  for  whatever  favored  the 
u  old  man’s”  interest. 

Passing  through  one  of  the  main  streets  of  the  middle  or 
post-officeless  village,  I  observed  standing  in  front  of  a  re¬ 
spectable,  ancient-appearing  mansion,  a  solemn-looking  hearse, 


VIEWING  THE  SITES. 


27S 


and  a  large  number  of  other  vehicles,  indicating  that  funeral 
services  were  being  performed  within,  and  through  the  open 
windows  and  doors  I  could  see  the  friends  and  mourners. 

“  A  funeral,  I  perceive,”  said  I  to  my  companion. 

A  sullenly  emphasized  “yes,”  was  all  the  notice  vouchsafed 
to  my  remark. 

“  A  fine-looking  lot  of  horses  collected  here,”  I  continued. 

“Yes,  pretty  fair,”  he  rejoined,  without,  however,  with¬ 
drawing  his  attention  from  a  large  fly  which  was  annoying 
our  animal,  and  at  the  same  time  proving  himself  anything 
out  an  expert  marksman  by  his  repeated  unsuccessful  attempts 
to  annihilate  the  insect  with  the  lash  of  his  whip. 

*  “  This  accounts  for  my  seeing  so  few  persons  in  the  streets,” 
I  remarked.  “  They  must  be  attending  the  funeral.” 

“  I  suppose  so,”  he  answered,  at  the  same  instant  striking 
the  unlucky  fly  dead,  which  neither  he  nor  bob-tail  had  before 
succeeded  in  choking  off. 

A  quarter  of  an  hour  more  found  us  at  village  number  three, 
pleasantly  situated  upon  elevated  ground,  and  consisting  of  an 
old-fashioned  country  church,  the  fine  establishment  of  the 
wealthy  pioneer  in  this  post-office  enterprise,  already  referred 
to,  a  store,  and  a  few  other  buildings. 

The  solitary  merchant  here  was  also  the  newly-appointed 
post  master,  a  very  worthy  man  from  all  appearances,  though 
of  course  deeply  impressed  with  the  idea  that  the  “  balance  of 
power”  should  not  be  disturbed  by  a  discontinuance  of  the 
recently  established  office,  and  the  restoration  of  the  old  one 
on  its  former  site.  And  it  appeared  very  clear  that  he  had 
done  all  in  his  power  to  make  the  inconvenience  of  the  late 
change  fall  as  lightly  as  possible  upon  those  more  directly 
interested,  for  he  had  arranged  to  extend  every  accommodation 
in  his  power,  and  among  other  things  to  post  a  list  of  all  the 
letters  for  distant  sections  of  the  town,  upon  the  “meeting¬ 
house”  door  every  Sabbath,  and  to  keep  his  office  open 
“  between  meetings,”  for  the  delivery  of  all  mail  matter  which 
should  be  called  for. 


280 


A  FUNERAL  PROCESSION. 


His  brief  history,  as  related  by  bimself,  brought  to  light 
the  fact  that  he  had  served  the  Government  as  post  master 
many  years  before,  having  originally  been  appointed,  as  he  said, 
by  “  old  Hickory”  himself. 

During  half  an  hour’s  conversation,  the  information  fur¬ 
nished  at  this  point  was  generally  of  a  candid  and  impartial 
character,  though  the  explanations  regarding  a  defunct  bank, 
the  remains  of  which  stood  within  a  stone’s  throw  of  the  post- 
office,  proved  the  most  troublesome  subject  that  was  talked 
over.  The  expiration  of  its  charter,  if  I  mistake  not,  was 
given  as  the  reason  for  its  closed  doors. 

The  measured  tolling  of  the  church  bell  attracted  my  atten¬ 
tion.  The  funeral  procession  from  the  other  village  had 
reached  the  hill  and  was  just  entering  the  burial-ground, 
through  the  church-yard,  and  after  a  short  interval  passed  out 
again  on  its  return. 

Having  now  obtained  all  the  information  I  could  in  that 
quarter,  I  suggested  to  my  escoiAThat  I  was  ready  to  move, 
and  we  were  soon  on  our  way  bacK.  About  half  way  to  the 
middle  village,  we  came  up  with  the  procession,  and  followed 
along  at  a  slow  pace,  in  fact  forming  a  part  of  the  solemn  cor¬ 
tege. 

It  had  somehow  leaked  out  that  the  “  Post-Office  Agent” 
was  there,  and  along  the  whole  line,  hats  and  even  bonnets 
couid  be  seen  projecting  from  the  sides  of  such  of  the  carriages 
as  were  provided  with  coverings.  Compared  with  the  post- 
office  question,  the  grave  was  nowhere,  and  funerals  were  at  a 
discount.  Some  of  the  most  interested  happened  to  be  in  the 
nearest  vehicles  to  us,  and  when  they  discovered  who  my  com¬ 
panion  was,  a  number  of  the  animals  were  suddenly  relieved 
of  a  good  share  of  their  burthen.  Several  of  the  deserters  fell 
in  the  rear,  and  without  waiting  for  a  formal  introduction, 
began  to  discourse  eloquently  upon  the  subject  of  their  post 
office  grievances.  I  assured  them  that  I  would  spend  the 
night  at  the  hotel  in  their  village,  where  I  would  be  happy  to 


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: 


■  -;•  i  tv  ■ 

■  '  j.  '  -  -  >r. 

''  t  *  i-  /'  : 

•  ».’*■ 

. 


■ 


*f"  ftaw 


m 


«• 

•  -  v. 

- 

>•  • 

- 


■* 

• 

*  \r 

[v 

'  L 


IMPORTANT  MEETING. 


281 


meet  tliem  and  their  friends,  for  the  purpose  of  inquiry  and 
investigation. 

Many  a  head  of  a  family,  I  think,  was  missed  that  evening 
from  the  tea  tables,  for  although  it  was  about  the  usual  hour  of 
that  repast  when  I  reached  the  hotel,  the  citizens  came  flock¬ 
ing  in  in  great  numbers,  and  filling  the  spacious  audience 
room  which  the  landlord  had  hastily  prepared  on  hearing  of 
my  approach,  to  its  utmost  capacity,  and  even  before  I  was 
fairly  seated. 

Most  of  them  being  still  in  the  same  dress  in  which  they 
had  attended  the  funeral  ceremonies,  the  11  customary  suit  of 
solemn  black,”  they  were  about  as  well-looking  a  set  of  men  as 
you  will  often  see  in  country  or  city.  A  more  excited  and 
anxious  group  of  faces,  I  am  sure  was  never  seen  in  a  council 
of  war  on  the  eve  of  a  great  and  decisive  battle.  Nor  will  I 
attempt  to  assert  that  I  was  wholly  free  from  anxiety  as  to  how 
I  should  acquit  myself  before  this  august  assembly,  as  the 
representative  and  embodiment  of  the  Government,  on  this 
trying  occasion. 

The  scene,  however,  considered  in  reference  to  the  real  im¬ 
portance  of  the  interests  at  stake,  was  richly  ludicrous.  I 
felt  that  the  dignity  of  the  Post-Office  Department  was  for  a 
time  committed  to  my  keeping,  and  I  flatter  myself  that  I  suc¬ 
ceeded  admirably  in  sustaining  it,  though  it  required  occasion¬ 
ally  not  a  little  effort. 

One  of  the  gentlemen  whose  acquaintance  I  had  informally 
made  in  the  rear  of  the  funeral  procession,  did  the  honors  in 
the  way  of  introducing  me  to  each  of  those  who  had  assembled, 
and  to  such  as  came  in  in  the  course  of  that  ever-to-be  re¬ 
membered  evening — I  should  have  said  night,  for  it  was  not 
far  from  daylight,  when  I  had  listened  to  the  last  eloquent 
appeal  in  behalf  of  restoring  to  them  their  lost  rights  and  pri¬ 
vileges. 

The  whole  thing  was  conducted  in  a  way  which,  for  parlia¬ 
mentary  order  and  decorum,  would  have  put  to  the  blush  the 
lower  House  of  Congress  near  the  close  of  the  session ;  and  I 
24* 


282 


RESTORATION  HALL. 


am  not  quite  sure  that  the  upper  branch  of  that  Honorable 
body,  with  an  exciting  subject  in  hand,  could  not  have  derived 
some  useful  hints  from  the  manner  in  which  business  was 
there  enacted. 

The  room,  which  I  understand  was  soon  after  christened 
and  is  now  known  as  u  Restoration  Hall,”  was  about  twenty- 
five  feet  by  thirty,  and  for  most  of  the  time  during  this  event¬ 
ful  meeting,  I  chanced  to  occupy  the  only  rocking  chair  there¬ 
in,  at  one  side  of  the  room  facing  the  door.  Considering  that 
most  of  the  company  were  my  seniors  by  several  years,  that 
was  hardly  polite ;  but  after  several  times  insisting  in  vain  that 
some  one  else  should  take  the  post  of  honor,  I  settled  down 
without  further  misgivings. 

Never  did  I  so  heartily  regret  my  ignorance  of  the  art  of 
stenography  as  now;  for  a  verbatim  report  of  all  that  was  here 
said,  would  prove  the  richest  and  most  amusing  part  of  this 
narrative. 

After  some  general  and  desultory  conversation,  and  con¬ 
siderable  manoeuvring  as  to  who  should  lead  off,  the  respon¬ 
sible  task  fell  upon  a  somewhat  venerable  and  prominent 
citizen,  who,  as  I  perceived  from  his  u opening,”  had  enjoyed 
the  honor  of  representing  the  town  in  the  lower  Housu,  as 
well  as  the  Senate  of  the  State.  This  gentlemen’s  indigna¬ 
tion  was  so  intense  at  the  u  shabby  treatment”  of  the  Govern¬ 
ment,  that  at  first  he  seemed  to  question  the  propriety  of 
condescending  to  enter  into  any  argument  or  formal  statement 
in  support  of  a  speedy  restoration  of  the  post-office. 

aI  feel  myself  mortified  and  humbled,”  said  he,  “that  any¬ 
thing  more  should  be  required  in  this  case  in  securing  us 
justice,  than  a  mere  glance  at  this  assemblage,  which,  leaving 
out  the  speaker,  cannot  be  surpassed  in  respectability  and 
intelligence,  by  any  which  could  be  so  readily  convened  in  any 
community.” 

(A  general  sensation,  and  a  modest  assent  all  round,  so  far 
as  looks  could  indicate  it.) 

“  You  have  before  you,  sir,”  continued  he,  “  professional 


A  SLIGHT  FIREBRAND. 


9X3 


men — men  who  have  devoted  all  their  lives  to  the  training  and 
education  of  youth, — farmers,  mechanics,  and  merchants, — all 
of  them,  sir,  men  who  know  their  rights,  and  knowing  dare 
maintain  them,  sir.  Many  of  them,  and  I  for  one,  sir,  differ 
with  the  Administration  in  politics;  but  I  take  it,  sir,  that 
has  nothing  to  do  with  the  settlement  of  this  business.  Our 
Government  will  have  arrived  at  a  pretty  pass,  indeed,  when 
it  makes  a  distinction  between  a  whig  or  locofoco  community, 
in  the  granting  of  mail  facilities.” 

The  term  “  locofoco”  proved  for  a  moment  a  slight  fire¬ 
brand  in  the  camp — a  six  foot,  plain  farmer-looking  indivi¬ 
dual,  who  had  not  I  think  attended  the  funeral,  and  who,  like 
the  brave  Putnam,  had  left  his  plough  in  the  furrow,  on 
hearing  of  a  chance  to  fight — starting  to  his  feet  and  inter¬ 
rupting  the  speaker, — 

“  Your  Honor,”  said  he,  “ 1  hope  my  whig  friend,  if  he 
must  speak  of  politics,  will  consent  to  call  democrats  by  their 
right  names.  What  would  he  say  if  I  should  apply  the  term 
‘  federalists’  to  his  side  of  the  house  ?” 

The  first  speaker  was  evidently  preparing  for  a  broadside 
in  return  for  this  interruption,  but  it  was  averted  at  once  by 
the  assurance  volunteered  on  my  part,  that  the  question  of 
politics  would  have  nothing  to  do  with  this  one ;  and  that  no 
harm  was  probably  intended  by  the  use  of  the  objectionable 
designation ;  whereupon  our  agricultural  friend  quietly  resumed 
his  seat,  his  blood  seemingly  several  degrees  cooler  than  when 
he  left  it. 

“  You’re  right,  sir,  no  harm  icas  intended,”  good-naturedly 
responded  the  pioneer  orator.  “It  came  so  natural  to  say 
locofoco,  that  I  hardly  noticed  it  myself.  We  all  have  one 
common  object  here,  and  the  fact  that  neighbour  B.  is  the 
only  loco — I  beg  pardon — democrat,  who  happens  to  be  pre¬ 
sent,  should  have  suggested  to  me  greater  allowance  for  his 
sensitive  feelings.” 

There  was  a  general  laugh  at  the  expense  of  our  lone 


284 


A  STRONG  STATEMENT. 


representative  of  the  democracy;  and  the  discussion  resumed 
its  more  legitimate  channel. 

At  a  later  period,  a  careful  canvassing  would  have  shown 
quite  a  respectable  sprinkling  of  the  political  friends  of  the 
gentleman  who  took  exceptions  as  above  stated ;  and  I  have 
always  mistrusted  that  he  managed  in  some  way  to  procure 
their  special  attendance,  being  evidently  a  little  chagrined  at 
the  accidental  exposure  of  the  very  meagre  representation  of 
his  party  at  the  commencement. 

The  gentleman  having  the  floor  proceeded  : — 

“  I  am  satisfied  the  Post  Master  General  would  never  have 
decided  as  he  has,  if  he  had  waited  for  further  information. 
And  the  indecent  haste  with  which  certain  men  acted  in  this 
matter,  is  a  downright  shame  and  disgrace.  I  doubt  not,  from 
what  I  can  learn,  that  they  had  their  petitions  secretly  circu¬ 
lating,  as  soon  as  the  sickness  of  our  late  post  master  became 
known.  Would  to  God  he  had  lived  to  defeat  their  selfish 
and  illiberal  schemes  !  But  an  overruling  Providence  ordered 
it  otherwise,  doubtless  for  the  accomplishment  of  some  wise 
purpose ! 

u  We  are  prepared  to  show  you,  sir,  by  the  figures,  (though 
we  have  seen  that,  in  the  hands  of  unprincipled  men,  figures 
will  sometimes  lie,)  that  three-fourths  of  the  mail  matter  for 
the  town  belongs  to  persons  of  this  village,  who,  by  this  wicked 
movement,  are  obliged  to  send  a  distance  of  two  miles  for  their 
letters  and  papers.” 

Here  was  a  strong  statement,  exhibiting  a  greater  difference 
in  the  business  and  correspondence  of  the  three  villages  than 
even  the  papers  on  the  official  files  of  the  Department  had 
claimed.  I  was  therefore  disposed  to  call  for  the  proof,  if  it 
could  be  had,  before  proceeding  further. 

“  Is  there  any  way  of  getting  at  what  you  have  just  stated 
as  a  fact  ?”  I  inquired. 

They  were  not  to  be  caught  napping,  for  the  11  Committee 
on  Statistics”  was  on  the  spot,  to  meet  any  such  exigencies 
that  might  arise. 


STATISTICS  COMMITTEE. 


285 


A  slight  nod  of  the  gentleman’s  head  toward  the  corner  of 
the  room  was  promptly  responded  to  by  one  of  the  company, 
whom  I  had  observed  listening  more  intently,  if  possible,  than 
the  rest,  to  the  opening  address. 

He  might  be  described  as  a  gentleman  about  forty  years  of 
age,  with  sharp  features,  and  withal  as  active  and  keen-looking 
a  body  as  you  will  often  come  across.  With  a  smile,  and  an 
air  of'  self-reliance,  he  drew  from,  his  hat  a  bundle  of  papers 
of  different  shapes,  from  an  inch  wide  to  a  full  sheet  of  large 
size  u  cap,”  and,  coming  to  the  table,  placed  them  upon  it. 
A  moment’s  search,  during  which  not  a  word  was  spoken,  pro¬ 
duced  the  desired  voucher,  which  was  to  confirm  the  truth  of 
the  three-fourths  assertion.  It  proved  to  be  a  certificate  signed 
by  the  assistant  of  the  late  post  master,  setting  forth  that,  in 
his  opinion ,  only  about  one-quarter  of  all  the  letters  arriving 
at  that  office,  during  the  last  three  months  of  its  existence, 
went  outside  of  a  circle  of  one  mile. 

The  ex-assistant  himself,  being  present,  was  appealed  to, 
but  although  he  was  willing,  in  general  terms,  to  re-affirm 
what  he  had  put  upon  paper,  yet  he  failed  to  furnish  any  very 
satisfactory  data  upon  which  the  calculation  had  been  made. 
It  was  so  much  at  variance  with  the  allegations  contained  in 
the  petitions  for  the  new  sites,  that  the  impression  could  not 
be  resisted  that  there  had  been  truth-stretching  somewhere. 

u  Should  the  office  be  re-established  here,”  said  I  to  the 
ex-assistant,  u  can  the  Department  rely  on  the  benefit  of  your 
experience  in  its  future  management,  as  post  master  ?” 

My  object  of  course  was  to  fathom,  if  possible,  the  depth 
of  any  personal  interest  he  might  have  had  in  making  the 
certificate  referred  to. 

“  Well,  sir,  as  to  that,”  he  answered,  his  face  a  little  flushed, 
u  I  hardly  think  I  could  attend  to  it;  and  besides,  I  may  go 
to  the  West  in  the  Spring,  if  not  before.” 

My  unexpected  inquiry  as  to  a  suitable  candidate  for  the 
office,  produced  a  marked  sensation.  I  observed  that  it  had 


286 


ON  BOTH  SIDES. 


especially  disconcerted  the  “ Committee  on  Statistics;”  why 
it  did  so  the  reader  will  learn  in  due  time. 

Apologizing  to  the  gentleman  whose  speech  had  thus  been 
interrupted,  he  resumed,  but  in  a  few  moments  came  to  an 
abrupt  close  on  the  arrival  of  two  young  gentlemen,  both  re¬ 
siding  near  village  number  three,  and  therefore,  except  to  a 
few,  supposed  to  have  come  as  spies  and  reporters.  A  short 
consultation,  in  which  I  took  no  part,  showed  that  they  were, 
as  I  inferred,  all  right  on  the  main  question,  notwithstanding 
their  location.  They  were  brothers. 

If  the  actors  in  this  scene  had  been  engaged  in  a  play  upon 
the  stage,  these  two  new  characters  could  not  have  been  intro¬ 
duced  in  a  more  artistic  or  timely  manner.  What  they  had 
to  offer  was  prefaced  by  a  few  words  from  the  gentleman  who 
had  just  terminated  his  formal  discourse,  informing  me  that 
they  had  magnanimously  volunteered  to  come  here  and  throw 
their  mite  into  the  scale,  on  the  side  of  truth  and  right,  and 
that  private  interest,  even,  could  not  blind  them  to  the  great 
injustice  that  had  been  perpetrated. 

Their  own  testimony  was  very  brief,  and  so  was  their  stay, 
for,  believing  I  had  seen  their  names  on  one  of  the  petitions 
asking  for  just  what  had  been  done,  I  unlocked  my  carpet¬ 
bag,  and  on  referring  to  one  of  the  original  papers  which  for 
the  time  being  had  been  placed  in  my  hands,  I  there  found 
both  their  signatures,  quite  conspicuous  among  the  peti¬ 
tioners  ! 

And  I  felt  bound  to  give  others  a  sight  of  them,  too,  if  for 
no  other  reason,  to  impart  to  the  u  injured”  members  of  that 
community  a  slight  knowledge  of  some  of  the  difficulties  which 
the  Post  Master  General  and  his  Assistant  often  have  to  en¬ 
counter  in  these  and  similar  cases.  It  was  all  news  to  those 
present  excepting  to  the  two  u  magnanimous”  gentlemen  in¬ 
terested.  They  had  doubtless  supposed  that  the  evidence  of 
their  double-dealing  was  very  quietly  sleeping  in  one  of  the 
snug  and  obscure  pigeon-holes  of  the  Appointment  Office. 

On  coming  into  the  rocm  again,  after  a  quarter  of  an  hour’s 


THE  ACADEMY. 


287 


absence  at  the  supper  table,  I  missed  these  two  generous  volun¬ 
teers,  and  understood  they  left  very  soon  after  I  withdrew. 
Their  inconsistent  course  was  afterwards  explained  to  me  in 
this  wise  :  After  they  had  signed  for  the  change,  and  the  pa¬ 
pers  had  gone  to  Washington,  it  came  out  that  the  three 
Select-men  of  the  town  had  united  in  a  letter  to  the  Depart¬ 
ment,  on  the  same  side  of  the  question,  all  three  of  them 
happening  to  live  nearer  the  new  sites  than  the  old  one ;  and 
the  brothers  having  become  involved  in  a  somewhat  bitter 
quarrel  with  one  of  those  officials,  had  determined  to  get  on 
the  opposite  side,  in  the  post-office  struggle,  and  defeat  their 
wishes  if  possible. 

Among  the  speakers  was  the  Principal  of  the  Academy 
before  alluded  to ;  a  very  intelligent  gentleman,  and  one  of 
dignified  appearance.  His  observations  related  mainly  to  the 
inconveniences  resulting  to  the  members  of  that  institution 
from  the  want  of  a  post-office.  After  he  had  concluded  his 
remarks,  I  inquired, 

“  What  is  the  present  number  of  your  pupils  ?” 

Upon  this,  some  one  suggested  obtaining  a  printed  cata¬ 
logue,  and  the  “  Committee  on  Statistics”  forthwith  disap¬ 
peared  in  search  of  the  required  pamphlet.  The  zeal  and 
efficiency  of  this  gentleman  may  have  had  no  connection  with 
his  desire  to  fill  the  office  of  post  master,  should  the  office  be 
re-established.  The  reader  will  judge  of  this  when  he  learns 
who  was  finally  selected  for  that  position. 

After  a  few  moments’  absence,  he  returned  with  a  copy  of 
the  catalogue. 

Observing  that  it  was  for  a  previous  term,  I  asked  whether 
there  were  as  many  pupils  now  as  at  that  time. 

“  The  school  is  not  quite  as  large  at  present,”  said  the  Prin¬ 
cipal  ;  u  but  we  expect  even  a  larger  number  of  pupils  at  the 
beginning  of  the  next  term.” 

The  hint  furnished  me  (as  the  reader  will  remember)  by  my 
official  friend  of  molasses  memory,  in  respect  to  the  residences 
of  the  pupils,  happening  to  occur  to  my  mind,  I  ran  my  eye 


288 


FALL  OF  AN  ORATOR. 


ever  the  column  containing  that  information,  and  found  that, 
with  few  exceptions,  they  belonged  in  town.  Consequently, 
unless  they  carried  on  a  more  extensive  correspondence  than 
is  usual  for  such  youth,  the  argument  maintained  by  the  Prin¬ 
cipal  would  lose  much  of  its  force.  I  made  no  allusion,  how¬ 
ever,  to  this  discovery,  and  he  soon  closed  his  remarks,  express¬ 
ing  the  hope  that  the  loud  complaints  of  the  distant  (?)  parents 
and  guardians  of  the  young  ladies  and  gentlemen  under  his 
charge  would  soon  he  effectually  hushed  by  the  restoration  of 
their  former  excellent  mail  facilities  ! 

A  few  of  those  wise  words,  which,  as  Solomon  assures  us, 
are  “as  nails  fastened  by  the  masters  of  assemblies/7  were 
driven,  in  conclusion,  by  farmer  Gr.,  who,  as  a  person  sitting 
near  me  whispered,  was  a  Justice  of  the  Peace.  His  remarks 
were  characterized  by  much  good  sense,  hut  an  untoward  cir¬ 
cumstance  occurred  as  he  concluded,  which  interfered  with 
the  gravity  of  the  proceedings  as  well  as  with  his  own  centre 
of  gravity.  As  the  closing  passage  of  his  peroration  fell  from 
his  lips,  he  also  fell  at  the  same  instant ! 

There  was  a  scarcity  of  seats  upon  the  present  occasion,  and 
our  oratorical  friend  had  no  sooner  risen  for  the  purpose  of 
“pouring  the  persuasive  strain/7  than  his  chair  was  appro¬ 
priated  by  a  fatigued  neighbor,  who  “  squatted77  on  the  vacant 
territory,  regardless  of  “  pre-emption77  or  pre-session. 

Unconscious  of  this  furtive  proceeding,  Mr.  Gr.  went  on  with 
his  remarks,  and  closed  with  the  following  sentence : — • 

“In  conclusion,  sir,  I  should  like  to  know  whether  the 
people  of  this  village  are  to  be  put  down  in  this  way  ?77 — at 
the  same  time  attempting  to  resume  the  seat  he  had  vacated, 
in  the  full  belief  that  it  was  still  where  he  had  left  it.  As 
facts  did  not  bear  him  out  in  this  opinion,  he  was  obliged  to 
yield  to  the  force  of  circumstances,  and  had  gained  such  a 
backward  impetus  before  he  discovered  the  treachery  of  his 
friend,  that  he  descended  to  the  floor  with  as  much  emphasis 
as  two  hundred  pounds  of  bone  and  muscle  are  capable  of 
producing  under  similar  circumstances  ! 


THE  ADJOURNMENT. 


289 


The  illustration  of  his  remarks  was  perfect.  He  thought 
that  the  inhabitants  of  the  village  were  to  be  u  put  down”  in 
an  underhanded  manner.  Whether  they  were  to  rise  again 
as  rapidly  as  did  he,  remains  to  be  seen. 

“  That  strain  again  ;  it  had  a  dying  fall,” 

thought  I  after  the  orator  descended  so  suddenly  from  his 
rhetorical  and  personal  elevation. 

Business  was  for  the  moment  swallowed  up  in  a  roar  of 
laughter,  to  which  the  ex-Senator,  the  dignified  Principal, 
the  energetic  dealer  in  Statistics,  and  the  Agent,  contributed ; 
and  even  the  fallen  speaker,  whose  title  to  the  floor  no  one  was 
inclined  to  dispute,  joined  in  the  chorus. 

The  person  who  had  caused  this  catastrophe,  apologized  to 
Mr.  Gr.  by  remarking,  “You  got  through  quicker  than  I’d 
any  idee  of.” 

u  Or  I  either,”  dryly  returned  Mr.  Gr.,  brushing  the  dust 
from  his  inexpressibles.  J 

This  occurrence  seemed  the  signal  for  adjournment,  and  all 
retired  in  good  spirits,  thanks  to  the  gentleman  who  had  thus, 
in  spite  of  himself,  been  made  the  instrument  of  producing 
such  a  pleasant  state  of  feeling. 

A  sort  of  informal  levee  was  held  on  the  following  morning, 
when  all  the  forcible  things  bearing  on  the  subject  in  hand 
were  said  which  had  been  forgotten  at  the  meeting  of  the 
night  previous,  or  were  the  result  of  after  cogitations. 

As  the  time  drew  near  for  leaving,  I  called  upon  the  land¬ 
lord  for  my  bill. 

“  Oh,  that’s  all  settled,”  said  he. 

“  Settled  ?  by  whom,  pray  ?”  I  asked. 

“  Why,  they  told  me  not  to  take  anything  from  you,  as  they 
would  make  it  all  right,”  he  replied. 

I  called  the  attention  of  the  landlord  to  the  impropriety  of 
such  a  course  under  the  circumstances,  since  in  the  event  of 
the  restoration  of  the  office  to  that  village,  it  might  be  said, 
25 


290 


THE  “COMMITTEE”  AND  TnE  “SPY.” 


“Oh,  it’s  easy  enough  to  see  how  that  happened.  They  knew 
what  they  were  about  when  they  paid  the  Agents’  hotel  bill.” 

For  such  reasons  I  declined  the  courtesy,  and  insisted  on 
paying  the  bill  myself.  The  landlord  finally  yielded,  remarking, 
“  they  won’t  like  it  when  they  find  out  that  their  directions 
were  not  followed.” 

Soon  after,  the  stage  arrived  at  the  door  of  the  hotel  from 
a  neighboring  town,  on  its  way  to  the  rail  road  depot,  and  this 
was  to  be  my  conveyance  to  that  place.  I  took  leave  of  such 
of  the  gentlemen  as  were  standing  about  the  piazza,  and 
mounted  to  the  seat  upon  the  top  of  the  stage,  behind  and 
above  the  driver’s  station.  To  this  elevated  position  I  was 
unexpectedly  followed  by  the  “  Committee  on  Statistics,”  and 
another  person  whom  I  had  not  seen  before.  This  move  on 
the  part  of  the  former  gentleman  was  probably  made  not  only 
to  secure  my  ear  during  the  passage  to  the  depot,  hut  to  pre¬ 
vent  the  post  master  there  from  gaining  any  advantage  over 
him  in  the  time  which  would  elapse  between  the  arrival  of  the 
stage  and  the  departure  of  the  cars. 

Being  placed,  like  men  in  general,  between  the  known  and 
unknown, — the  “Committee”  on  one  side,  and  the  stranger 
on  the  other,  my  attention,  soon  after  we  had  started,  was 
attracted  to  the  former  individual  by  sundry  punches  in  the 
ribs,  proceeding  from  his  elbow,  accompanied  with  ominous 
winks  and  glances  towards  my  other  companion,  who  was  just 
then  conversing  with  the  driver. 

“Look  out  what  you  say,”  whispered  the  vigilant  Com¬ 
mittee,  “  that  fellow  is  a  spy ;  he  is  one  of  the  Depot  boys.” 

“All  right,”  I  replied,  in  all  sincerity,  for  I  was  not  sorry 
to  find  that  my  friend  would  he  prevented  by  the  presence  of 
the  “  spy”  from  executing  the  design  which  he  undoubtedly 
had,  of  catechizing  me  in  reference  to  the  report  I  should 
make  to  the  Department. 

Arriving  at  the  station,  I  crossed  over  to  the  post-office, 
and  there  remained  until  the  whistle  of  the  locomotive  was 
heard. 


GETTING  THE  LAST  WORD. 


291 


“Well,  good  bye,  Mr.  W — ,”  said  I  to  the  post  master, 
offering  my  hand. 

“  I  think,”  said  he,  “  that  I  will  ride  a  little  way  with  yon, 
as  far  at  least  as  the  next  station.” 

He  accompanied  me  across  to  the  depot,  and  as  we  stepped 
upon  the  platform  of  a  car,  we  were  followed  by  the  “  Com¬ 
mittee”  and  one  of  his  most  interested  friends,  who  had  come 
over  in  the  stage  with  us,  an  inside  passenger. 

These  gentlemen  were  evidently  bent  on  thwarting  the  plans 
of  my  saccharine  associate,  but  he  had  in  an  important  par¬ 
ticular  greatly  the  advantage  over  them,  for,  by  virtue  of  his 
office,  he  was  allowed  the  privilege  of  riding  in  the  mail  car, 
to  which  we  at  once  proceeded,  leaving  our  disappointed 
friends  in  the  outer  world,  among  the  undistinguished  crowd 
whom  the  conductor  indiscriminately  calls  upon  for  “your 
money  or  your  ticket.” 

My  companion  and  his  opponents  alighted  at  the  next  sta¬ 
tion,  to  wait  for  the  return  train,  and  as  the  cars  moved  on,  I 
observed  that  they  were  conversing  together,  the  countenance 
of  the  former  displaying  a  radiant  appearance  of  satisfaction 
which  plainly  showed  his  triumphant  state  of  mind. 

I  have  no  means  of  knowing  what  passed  between  them  on 
their  return,  but  it  is  altogether  probable  that  the  “Committee” 
and  his  friend  employed  the  time  in  “  pumping”  or  attempting 
to  pump  their  associate,  unless  he  took  refuge  in  the  mail  car. 

The  investigation  resulted  in  restoring  the  post-office  to  the 
center  village,  and  in  discontinuing  the  two  others. 

The  reader  will  be  pleased  to  learn  that  the  “  Committee  on 
Statistics”  received  the  appointment  of  post  master. 


CHAPTER  XX. 


HARROWFORK  POST-OFFICE. 

A  gloomy  Picture — Beautiful  Village — Litigation  in  Harrowfork — A 
model  Post  Master — The  Excitement — Petitioning  the  Department — 
Conflicting  Statements — The  decisive  Blow — The  new  Post  Master 
— The  “  Reliable  Man” — Indignant  Community — Refusal  to  serve — 
An  Editor’s  Candidate — The  Temperance  Question — Newspaper  Ex¬ 
tracts — A  Mongrel  Quotation — A  Lull — A  “Spy  in  Washington” — 
Bad  Water — New  Congressmen — The  Question  revived — Delegate 
to  Washington — Obliging  Down  Easter — The  lost  Letters — Visit  to 
the  Department — Astounding  Discovery — Amusing  Scene — A  Con¬ 
gressmen  in  a  “Fix” — The  Difficulty  “arranged.” 

There  is  no  blessing  bestowed  upon  us  by  a  kind  Provi¬ 
dence,  which  man’s  selfishness  may  not  pervert  into  a  grievance. 
We  have  seen  this  principle  illustrated  in  the  use  and  abuse 
of  post-offices,  as  often  as  in  any  other  civil  institution. 

How  society  in  the  nineteenth  century  could  exist  without 
mail  routes  and  the  regular  delivery  of  letters,  it  is  impossible 
to  conceive. 

Imagine  a  town  without  a  post  office  !  a  community  without 
letters !  “  friends,  Romans,  countrymen,  and  lovers,”  particu¬ 
larly  the  lovers,  cut  off  from  correspondence,  bereft  of  news¬ 
papers,  buried  alive  from  the  light  of  intelligence,  and  the 
busy  stir  of  the  great  world  !  What  an  appalling  picture  ! 

We  have  always  thought  that  Robinson  Crusoe  and  his  man 
Friday  might  have  enjoyed  a  very  comfortable  existence,  had 
Juan  Fernandez  been  blessed  with  a  post-office.  But  think 

(292) 


A  GLOOMY  PICTURE. 


293 


of  a  society  of  Crusoes  and  Fridays !  nobody  receiving  letters, 
nobody  writing  letters — no  watching  the  mails,  no  epistolary 
surprises  and  enjoyments,  which  form  so  large  an  element  in 
our  social  life  to-day  ! 

But  gloomy  as  the  picture  appears,  we  have  many  times 
thought  that  some  very  respectable  and  enlightened  villages 
would  be  decidedly  benefited,  were  the  post  office  stricken  from 
the  catalogue  of  their  institutions.  This  is  a  bone  of  conten¬ 
tion,  which  often  sets  the  whole  neighborhood  by  the  ears  * 
and  communities,  which  might  otherwise  enjoy  the  reputation 
of  being  regular  circles  of  u  brotherly  love/7  break  out  into 
quarrels,  contentions,  slanders,  litigations,  and  all  sorts  of  un¬ 
christian  disturbances. 

The  case  of  the  town  of  Harrowfork,  which  I  find  recorded 
in  my  note-book,  will  most  capitally  illustrate  the  point  under 
consideration.  Harrowfork,  by  the  way,  is  not  the  real  name 
of  the  town,  but  a  fictitious  one,  which  we  use  for  our  conve¬ 
nience,  to  avoid  personalities.  It  is  located  on  the  Eastern 
slope  of  an  eminence,  which  overlooks  one  of  the  fairest  of 
valleys  on  one  of  the  most  beautiful  New  England  streams. 
The  town  was  once  a  favorite  place  of  resort  with  the  writer, 
during  the  Summer  season ;  and,  although  this  was  years  ago, 
the  pretty  village  is  still  fresh  in  his  memory,  with  its  green 
hills,  its  handsome  residences  embowered  in  the  foliage  of  trees 
and  vines — its  rival  churches,  with  their  emulous  spires  point¬ 
ing  toward  heaven ;  its  shady  roads,  and  magnificent  prospects, 
looking  far  off  upon  the  wide-spread  valley,  dotted  with  farm¬ 
houses,  and  beautified  by  the  sinuous,  glittering  waters  of  the 
stream. 

Its  sunrises  were  particularly  fine,  and  it  has  always  seemed 
to  me  that  the  poet  must  have  had  them  in  his  mind,  when  he 
penned  the  sonnet  commencing 

“  Full  many  a  glorious  morning  I  have  seen 
Flatter  the  mountain  tops  with  sovereign  eye, 

Kissing  with  golden  face  the  meadows  green, 

Gilding  pale  streams  with  heavenly  alchemy  I’* 

25* 


294 


LAWYERS  LOOKING  UP. 


It  appears  to  us  a  strange  dispensation  of  Providence,  that 
sucn  a  perfect  nest  of  loveliness  should  he  invaded  by  inhar¬ 
monious  cat  birds,  and  mischief-making  wrens.  But  dissen¬ 
sions  did  creep  in  through  the  post-office.  Up  to  a  certain 
time,  such  universal  peace  prevailed  among  the  inhabitants, 
that  its  two  lawyers  would  have  been  beggared,  had  they  not 
wisely  resorted  to  farming,  as  a  more  reliable  occupation  than 
the  occasional  and  precarious  one  of  conducting  some  tame  and 
straight-forward  case,  for  a  petty  fee.  But  now  the  lawyers 
have  enough  to  do,  without  turning  aside  from  their  regular 
profession ;  litigation  is  brisk  and  spirited  in  Harrowfork,  and 
intricate  and  aggravated  cases  are  numerous.  Neighbors 
quarrel,  church  members  sue  each  other,  deacons  go  to  law, 
the  lawyers  build  fine  houses,  their  families  grow  extravagant 
in  dress — all  owing  to  the  post-office. 

As  long  as  olcl  Uncle  Crocker  was  post  master,  there  was  no 
difficulty.  He  seemed  just  the  man  for  the  business.  He 
was  looked  upon  as  a  part  of  the  institution.  Nobody  thought 
of  turning  him  out,  more  than  they  would  have  thought  of 
petitioning  for  the  removal  of  Harrowfork  Hill. 

But  Uncle  Crocker  was  not  a  permanent  institution,  notwith¬ 
standing  the  people’s  faith.  One  of  his  daughters  married, 
and  settled  in  the  West.  Excited  by  the  report  she  made  of 
the  country,  two  of  his  sons  followed  her,  and  in  the  course 
of  time,  Uncle  Crocker  himself  u  pulled  up  stakes,”  retired 
from  the  post-office  with  honors,  and  migrated  to  the  new 
territory. 

As  soon  as  the  old  gentleman’s  intention  was  made  public, 
there  was  a  slight  flutter  of  interest  in  the  community,  in  rela¬ 
tion  to  the  subject  of  a  successor  in  his  office.  At  first,  if  the 
name  of  a  new  candidate  was  hinted  at,  it  was  offered  like 
Snagsby’s  expression  of  opinion  in  the  presence  of  his  wife — 
only  as  a  u  mild  suggestion.”  But  there  was  a  good  deal  of 
partisan  feeling  latent  in  Harrowfork,  and  this  was  just  the 
thing  to  develope  it;  and  gently  as  the  breeze  had  arisen,  it 


I 


A  DEACON  IN  LUCK.  295 

freshened  and  increased,  until  it  blew  a  perfect  hurricane,  that 
not  only  disturbed  the  whole  county,  but  became  troublesome 
even  as  far  off  as  Washington. 

At  an  early  period  of  the  excitement,  the  friends  of  an 
enterprising  tradesman  in  the  place  bad  gone  quietly  to  work, 
and  procured  his  appointment  to  the  office.  It  was  quite  a 
surprise  to  many  of  his  fellow-townsmen,  and  no  small  sensa¬ 
tion  was  produced  when  Deacon  Upton  was  announced  as 
the  new  post  master.  Many  were  dissatisfied,  of  course,  and 
although  the  deacon  had  always  been  known  as  a  quiet,  in¬ 
offensive  man,  he  suddenly  became  the  subject  of  derogatory 
remarks.  The  personal  friends  who  had  been  instrumental  in 
securing  the  appointment,  formed  a  spirited  minority  in  his 
favor,  while  all  who  had  not  been  consulted  in  the  premises, 
naturally  felt  bound  to  range  themselves  on  the  side  of  his 
critics  and  opponents. 

To  make  matters  worse,  a  Presidential  campaign  followed 
Mr.  Upton’s  inauguration,  and  politics  “ran  high.”  The 
post-office  became  the  great  centre  and  source  of  excitement 
People  met,  on  the  arrival  of  the  mails,  and  glanced  over  the 
editorial  columns  of  their  newspapers,  and  talked  over  their 
grievances.  At  length  the  great  crisis  came.  A  change  of 
Administration  was  effected.  And  as  the  health  or  sickness 
of  the  nation  appeared  now  to  depend  entirely  upon  the  post- 
office  incumbent  at  Harrowfork,  this  subject  received  prompt 
attention  from  all  parties. 

All  sorts  of  communications,  full  of  absurd  complaints,  con¬ 
tradictory  statements,  imperative  commands,  and  angry  denun¬ 
ciations,  were  now  poured  in  upon  the  Post-Office  Department 
at  Washington.  To  show  what  human  nature  is  at  such 
times,  and  also  to  designate  how  perfectly  clear  and  beauti¬ 
fully  pleasant  the  duty  of  the  appointing  power  becomes,  in 
the  progress  of  the  snarl,  we  will  give  a  few  specimens  of  these 
conflicting  missives. 

Here  is  one  version  of  the  story  : — 


296 


A  STRONG  PETITION. 


To  His  Honor,  the  Post  Master  General,  at  Washington. 

Sir  : 

Your  Honor’s  humble  petitioners,  legal  voters  in  the  town  of  Har- 
rowfork,  respectfully  submit  the  following  undeniable  facts  for  your 
consideration. 

First,  the  person  who  now  holds  the  office  of  post  master  in  our 
place,  is  totally  unfit  for  the  business.  He  was  got  in  by  a  clique  of 
interested  individuals,  who  used  underhanded  measures  for  the  pur¬ 
pose,  and  succeeded  in  their  object  only  by  blinding  the  eyes  of  the 
Department  to  the  real  character  of  the  man,  and  the  wishes  of  the 
people.  Not  one  man  in  fifty  is  in  favor  of  the  present  incumbent ; 
and  those  who  are,  turn  out  generally  to  be  persons  who  seldom  write 
or  receive  letters,  and  have  little  or  no  business  in  connexion  with  the 
post-office. 

Second,  the  office  is  left  during  a  great  portion  of  the  time  in  the 
charge  of  the  post  master’s  father-in-law,  a  worthy  old  gentleman, 
but  whose  sight  has  somewhat  failed  him  ;  so  that  when  persons  call 
for  letters  or  papers,  he  has  first  to  hunt  up  his  spectacles,  which  he 
has  been  known  to  be  near  five  minutes  in  finding ;  then  he  has  to  go 
over  with  the  letters,  &c.,  very  slowly,  to  avoid  making  mistakes, 
very  often  taking  them  out  of  the  wrong  box  at  that,  and  after  all, 
giving  the  wrong  letters  to  people,  or  giving  them  none  at  all,  when 
the  fact  is,  letters  for  them  have  perhaps  been  lying  untouched  in  the 
office  for  weeks.  Such  cases  are  nothing  uncommon. 

Third,  valuable  letters  have  been  lost  through  carelessness  on  the 
part  of  persons  in  the  office,  or  from  less  excusable  causes,  of  which 
we  leave  your  Honor  to  judge.  Letters  containing  money  are  par¬ 
ticularly  liable  to  miscarry. 

Fourth,  it  is  a  fact  which  merits  your  Honor’s  special  considera¬ 
tion,  that,  in  consequence  of  the  dissolute  habits  of  the  post  master’s 
nephew,  who  attends  in  the  office  evenings,  a  not  very  respectable 
gang  of  young  men  are  encouraged  to  hang  about  the  doors  till  late 
at  night,  making  it  very  unpleasant  for  the  more  sober  citizens  to  go 
there  for  their  mails. 

Fifth,  the  present  post  master  is  a  deacon  of  the  church,  and  very 
sectarian  in  his  views.  There  may  be  no  direct  connection  between 
this  circumstance,  and  the  fact  that  the  religious  newspapers  of 
different  sects  from  his  own,  are  apt  to  be  lost  or  destroyed  in  the 
mails,  while  the  “  Helmet  of  Truth,”  a  paper  to  which  he  is  commis¬ 
sioned  to  obtain  subscribers,  is  always  punctually  delivered  !  Your 
Honor’s  petitioners  state  this  only  as  a  remarkable  coincidence,  which 
may  however  have  some  bearing  upon  the  case. 


THE  REMONSTRANCE. 


297 


In  view  of  these  stubborn  and  undeniable  facts,  we  the  under¬ 
signed,  legal  voters  in  the  town  of  Harrowfork,  humbly  petition  your 
Honor,  that  the  present  post  master  be  removed,  and  a  more  suitable 
person  appointed  in  his  place. 

We  also  beg  leave  to  suggest  to  your  Honor’s  consideration,  the 
name  of  Josiah  Barnaby,  as  a  fit  and  reliable  candidate  for  the  office, 
and  a  person  who  would  be  sure  to  give  more  general  satisfaction  to 
the  community  than  any  other  available  man. 

Trusting  that  the  foregoing  statements  will  receive  your  Honor’s 
early  attention,  and  such  official  action  as  the  merits  of  the  case  de¬ 
mand,  we  remain 

Your  Honor’s  respectful  petitioners. 

o*  ,  f  Aminadab  Fogle, 

1gn  y  |  an(j  thirteen  others. 

This  was  certainly  a  strong  case,  and  it  would  seem  per¬ 
fectly  clear  that  u  his  Honor”  should  straightway  remove  Up¬ 
ton  and  appoint  Barnaby  to  fill  his  place. 

But  close  upon  the  heels  of  the  above  petition,  followed  an¬ 
other  of  a  very  different  character.  The  framers  of  the  last 
also  maintained  that  a  change  should  be  made,  and  adduced 
strong  charges  against  Upton )  but  it  appeared  after  all,  that 
Barnaby  was  not  the  most  reliable  man. 

“Such  an  appointment,”  said  the  new  document,  “would  give 
greater  dissatisfaction,  if  possible,  than  the  old  one  has  done. 
The  said  Barnaby  is  an  infidel,  who  made  himself  very  obnoxious  to 
all  right-minded  citizens  by  his  avowed  disbelief  in  the  Scriptures, 
and  his  contempt  of  the  Sabbath,  and  the  ordinances  of  religion. 
Your  Honor’s  humble  petitioners,  therefore,  submit  that  it  would  be 
an  outrage  upon  the  feelings  of  a  Christian  community  to  have  such 
a  person  appointed  to  so  important  and  responsible  an  office. 

Furthermore,  the  undersigned  take  it  upon  themselves  to  affirm 
that  it  is  not  the  wish  of  over  four  persons  in  our  district  that  the 
said  Barnaby  should  receive  the  commission.  We  understand  the  pe¬ 
tition  in  his  favor  was  drawn  up  by  one  Aminadab  Fogle,  whose  name 
heads  the  list.  Now  it  happens  that  the  said  Fogle  is  a  brother-in- 
law  of  the  said  Barnaby,  while  at  least  three  others  in  his  (Barnaby’s) 
favor  are  likewise  connections  of  the  family,  and  persons,  like  him, 
entirely  destitute  of  religious  principles.  With  regard  to  other  per¬ 
sons  who  signed  the  petition,  the  most  of  them  privately  acknow- 


298 


A  NEW  CANDIDATE 


ledge  that  they  did  so,  because  they  were  urged,  and  could  not  re 
fuse,  without  offending  their  neighbors. 

Under  these  circumstances,  the  undersigned  respectfully  represent 
that  they  express  the  general  feeling  of  the  community,  when  they 
nominate  Mr.  Homer  S.  Clark  as  an  eligible  candidate  for  the  office  in 
question.” 

Then  follows  an  eulogy  on  Mr.  Homer  S.  Clark;  the  whole 
winding  up  with  a  grand  rhetorical  flourish,  to  the  tail  of 
which  are  attached  some  twenty-three  names,  representing  the 
active  “  better  class’ 7  of  society  in  Harrowfork. 

So  it  appeared  that  Clark  was  the  right  man;  and  un¬ 
doubtedly  the  Department  would  have  proceeded  at  once  to 
invest  him  with  the  disputed  honors ;  but  before  any  action 
could  be  had  in  the  matter,  a  candid  representation  from  an¬ 
other  party,  strengthened  by  affidavits,  served  to  cast  u  omi¬ 
nous  conjecture”  on  the  whole  affair.  This  was  a  petition 
from  the  Upton  party,  wherein  it  was  maintained,  that  of 
the  two  aspirants  for  office,  Barnaby  was  the  better  man  of 
the  two,  Clark  having  made  himself  very  unpopular,  by  fail¬ 
ing  for  a  large  amount  some  years  before,  going  through  chan¬ 
cery,  and  afterwards  living  in  a  style  of  elegance  unbecoming 
a  man  who  had  dismissed  his  creditors  with  ten  cents  on  a 
dollar. 

It  was  also  shown  that  the  prime  mover  in  favor  of  Clark 
was  a  cousin  of  his,  and  the  same  person  who  was  supposed  to 
have  held  a  large  portion  of  bankrupt  property  in  trust  for  the 
said  Clark  at  the  time  of  his  failure  !  Still  Barnaby  was  no 
more  fit  for  the  office,  than  the  petitioners  in  favor  of  Clark 
had  represented.  There  were  fifty  in  Harrowfork  eminently 
qualified  to  fulfil  the  duties  of  post  master,  and  who  would 
give  infinitely  better  satisfaction  than  either  of  the  new  can¬ 
didates  ;  but  of  them  all,  there  was  no  one,  who,  in  the  opin¬ 
ion  of  the  petitioners,  was  better  calculated  for  the  office  than 
the  present  incumbent.  It  was  only  a  few  dissatisfied,  mis¬ 
chief-making  people,  who  pretended  to  consider  a  change  at 
all  desirable.  Upton  had  now  been  in  a  year;  had  shown 


NO  ADMITTANCE. 


290 


a 


n 


himself  obliging  and  faithful ;  and  although  a  few  unimpor¬ 
tant  mistakes,  unavoidable  under  the  circumstances,  had 
escaped  his  eye  in  the  early  part  of  his  career,  he  was  now  ex¬ 
perienced,  and  no  such  errors  would  be  likely  to  occur  in  fu¬ 
ture. 

The  attention  of  the  Department  was  then  called  to  the 
fact  that  the  names  of  John  Harmon,  Solomon  Corwin,  Amos 
Fink,  and  several  others,  probably  would  be  found  on  both  the 
Clark  and  Barnaby  petitions  !  This  inconsistency  was  easily 
accounted  for.  In  the  first  place,  John  Harmon  had  always 
been  accustomed,  when  Crocker  was  post  master,  to  make  him¬ 
self  quite  at  home  in  the  office.  Mr.  Upton,  however,  exer¬ 
cising  a  stern  impartiality,  had  from  the  first  excluded  every 
outsider  from  the  private  room,  Harmon  not  excepted,  during 
the  business  of  opening  and  assorting  the  mails.  Thereupon 
Harmon  had  taken  offence,  and  was  ready  to  sign  any  petition 
against  Upton,  without  regard  to  the  source  whence  it  ori¬ 
ginated.  With  respect  to  Corwin  and  Fink  and  any  others 
whose  names  might  be  found  on  both  the  previous  petitions, 
they  were  easy,  good-natured  individuals,  who  could  not  say 
“no;”  and  who  might  generally  be  prevailed  upon  to  sign 
any  sort  of  a  paper  to  which  their  attention  was  called. 

It  was  therefore  the  humble  prayer  of  the  petitioners,  that 
no  needless  change  should  be  made,  but  that  the  present  post 
master  should  be  continued  in  office,  at  least  until  some  good 
reason  should  be  assigned  for  his  removal. 

Then  followed  a  good  show  of  names  designed  to  impress 
the  Department  with  the  power  and  influence  of  the  Upton 
party. 

This  put  a  different  face  upon  the  matter,  and  simple  jus¬ 
tice  seemed  to  require  that  the  actual  incumbent  should  re¬ 
main  unmolested  in  the  enjoyment  of  the  honors  and  emolu¬ 
ments  of  his  office. 

But  there  came  another  statement  from  a  fourth  party, 
containing  grave  and  serious  charges  not  only  against  Barnaby 
and  Clark,  but  also  against  Upton,  and  recommending  the  re- 


300 


A  STRONG  POINT. 


moval  of  the  latter,  and  the  appointment  of  a  new  candidate, 
Mr.  Ezekiel  Sloman,  to  the  vacancy.  It  was  made  to  appear 
that  Mr.  Sloman  was  the  man,  of  all  others,  to  please  the  com¬ 
munity  at  large ;  and  for  a  time  his  prospects  were  very  good ; 
but  some  of  Upton’s  friends  getting  wind  of  the  matter,  it 
was  satisfactorily  represented  to  the  Department,  that  although 
an  honest,  well-meaning  man,  the  said  Sloman  was  entirely 
destitute  of  energy  and  business  tact ;  that,  indeed,  he  had  so 
little  worldly  capacity  that  he  was  literally  supported  by  the 
charity  of  friends;  and  that  in  order  to  relieve  themselves 
of  the  encumbrance,  these  friends  had  united  to  have  him  ap¬ 
pointed  post  master. 

Thus  Sloman  was  cast  overboard.  The  Upton  party  exulted. 
Their  opponents  were  exasperated,  and  a  coalition  was  formed 
between  the  Barnaby  and  Clark  factions. 

Aminadab  Fogle  and  John  Harmon  put  their  heads  to¬ 
gether.  Both  Clark  and  Barnaby  were  dropped,  and  all  hands 
agreed  to  support  a  new  man  named  Wheeler.  But  the  main 
thing  was  to  remove  Upton.  The  following  strong  point  was 
accordingly  made  against  that  individual,  in  addition  to  the  pre¬ 
vious  charges. 

“Although  entirely  disinterested  in  the  matter,  except  so  far  as  the 
common  rights  of  humanity  are  concerned,  the  undersigned  consider 
it  their  conscientious  duty  to  inform  your  Honor  that  the  said  Upton 
is  decidedly  opposed  to  the  present  national  administration.  He  has 
long  been  at  heart  an  abolitionist  of  the  deepest  dye,  and  of  late  his 
fanaticism  has  shown  itself  in  public.  During  the  recent  Presidential 
campaign,  the  post-office  was  made  the  head-quarters  of  the  Free 
Soilers,  and  was,  during  a  large  portion  of  the  time,  converted  into  a 
regular  caucus  room  by  the  leaders  of  that  party.  That  your  Honor 
may  judge  for  yourself  what  this  man’s  political  conduct  has  been,  the 
undersigned  take  the  liberty  of  calling  your  attention  to  the  enclosed 
editorial  notice  of  a  Free  Soil  meeting  in  which  Deacon  Upton  took  an 
active  part.  It  is  clipped  from  the  columns  of  the  “Temperance 
Goblet,”  a  paper  neutral  in  politics  and  religion,  and  entirely  inde 
pendent  and  impartial  on  the  post-offic6  question. 

The  following  is  the  newspaper  paragraph  referred  to  : 


THE  DEACON  BEHEADED 


301 


“"Next,  we  were  a  little  surprised  to  see  our  respected  frieud  post  master  Upton 
take  the  floor,  and  treat  the  audience  to  a  harangue,  which  as  a  specimen  of  eloquence 
will,  we  venture  to  assert,  find  nothing  to  compare  with  it  in  the  orations  of  Cicero. 
But  it  was  the  matter,  more  than  the  manner  of  the  speech,  which  excited  our  asto¬ 
nishment.  We  had  always  given  our  friend  credit  for  being  a  law  and  order  man, 
notibithstanding  his  well  known  abolition  prejudices,”  (words  in  italics  underscored  with 
ink  by  the  petitioners,)  until  the  occasion  of  this  public  demonstration  of  the  most 
ultra  Garrisonianism.  How  a  man,  uniformly  discreet,  should  have  suffered  his 
feelings  to  run  away  with  his  judgment  in  a  public  discourse,  we  cannot  conceive, 
unless  it  he  that  in  the  whirlwind  of  eloquence  that  bore  him  away,  all  consideration 
of  law,  patriotism,  and  duty,  were  lost  sight  of.  After  all,  it  is  not  Upton  who  is  tc 
blame,  it  is  the  times.  He  should  have  lived  in  Athens,  in  the  palmy  days  of  Grecian 
oratory.  What  would  Demosthenes  have  been  by  the  side  of  the  giant  Upton  ?  Echo 
answers  “What?” 


This  proved  the  decisive  blow.  Upton  was  cut  off  like 
Hamlet,  senior, 

“Even  in  the  blossoms  of  his  sin.” 

Scarce  was  his  removal  effected,  however,  when  the  eyes  of 
Harrowfork  were  suddenly  opened  to  the  fact  that  he  was 
u  about  the  best  man  for  post  master,  that  could  be  had,  after 
all  l” 

The  slanders  that  had  been  circulated  to  his  disadvantage, 
were  turned  in  his  favor.  Among  other  instances  of  dis¬ 
honest  dealing,  in  the  opposition  party,  the  great  fraud  touch¬ 
ing  Upton’s  Abolitionism,  was  now  discovered  and  exposed. 
He  was  proved  to  be  entirely  innocent  of  any  such  a  political 
heresy j”  and  it  was  further  shown  that  the  slip  of  editorial 
clipped  from  u  The  Temperance  Goblet,”  had  never  appeared 
in  the  columns  of  that  paper — that  it  had  been  prepared  ex¬ 
pressly,  and  privately  printed  for  the  dishonest  purpose  it  had 
served ! 

But  the  correction  of  the  false  and  malicious  statements 
came  too  late  to  benefit  Upton  in  his  official  capacity.  He 
had  u  gone  out  with  the  tide,”  and  the  returning  waves  were 
ineffectual  to  bring  him  in  again.  He  was  politically  defunct, 
and  a  new  post  master  u  reigned  in  his  stead.” ' 

About  the  new  post  master.  He  was  the  favorite  of  no 
faction,  and  the  appointment  came  to  him  as  unexpectedly  as 
to  the  public.  This  is  the  way  of  it. 

26 


302 


THE  “RELIABLE”  MAN. 


About  the  time,  tbe  “  Town  Committee,”  having  first  en¬ 
dorsed  a  paper  in  favor  of  Wheeler,  sent  privately  to  Wash¬ 
ington  to  inform  the  Post  Master  General  that  the  said 
endorsement  was  a  mere  formality,  to  be  taken  no  notice  of 
whatever;  and  to  recommend  a  new  candidate  named  Foster. 

The  Department  becoming  not  a  little  disgusted  with  the 
whole  business,  wrote  to  a  “reliable”  man  in  the  vicinity,  but 
not  in  the  town,  for  advice  on  the  subject.  Flattered  by  the 
compliment,  the  “  reliable”  person  drew  up  an  elaborate  paper 
on  the  subject,  demonstrating  that  the  party  would  be  endan¬ 
gered  by  the  appointment  of  either  of  the  rival  candidates, 
and  representing  that  some  such  cool-headed  and  discreet  in¬ 
dividual  as  Mr.  Walters,  (a  widower  of  forty,)  against  whom 
no  prejudice  had  been  raised,  and  who  would  no  doubt  prove 
acceptable  to  the  entire  community,  should  receive  the  com¬ 
mission.  This  “  reliable”  man  was  supposed  of  course  to  be 
quite  disinterested.  His  suggestion  was  accordingly  adopted, 
and  Walters  walked  into  the  Post-Office,  as  Upton  walked  out. 

But  little  opposition  would  have  been  excited  against  the 
new  incumbent,  had  the  manner  of  his  appointment  remained 
a  secret.  But  the  “reliable”  man  thought  it  too  good  to 
keep.  -He  desired  that  society  should  know  what  an  import¬ 
ant  personage  he  had  become.  The  dignity  of  his  being  con¬ 
sulted  by  the  Department  at  Washington,  would  be  but  half 
enjoyed  privately.  He  accordingly  rode  over  to  Harrowfork, 
shook  hands  with  the  “Selectmen,”  talked  about  the  post- 
office,  and  laughed  inwardly,  holding  his  sides  and  looking 
suspiciously  wise,  whenever  the  subject  of  the  new  appoint¬ 
ment  was  broached.  He  knew  a  thing  or  two — he  could  tell 
a  secret  if  he  chose — there  was  more  than  one  way  to  settle  a 
quarrel; — he  knew  the  Department,  the  Department  knew 
him.  Ha !  ha  !  ha !  and  ho !  ho  !  ho  !  &c. 

Horrible  doubts  racked  the  brain  of  John  Harmon.  He 
took  Aminadab  Fogle  aside. 

“  Look  here!”  said  he.  “What  relation  is  Judge  Ames 
(the  “  reliable  man”)  to  the  new  post  master  ?” 


DETESTABLE  APPOINTMENT. 


303 


u 


>) 


u  I  declare/’  replied  Fogle,  u  I  never  thought  of  that ! 
Walters  is  Ames’  wife’s  sister’s  husband’s  youngest  brother! 
He  is  dreadful  thick,  too,  with  the  family,  and  the  talk  is  he 
is  going  to  marry  Ames’  oldest  daughter.” 

“  That  explains  it,”  said  John  Harmon;  “I  knew  there 
was  something  of  the  kind  at  the  bottom  of  it  all.  Keep 
dark,  and  I’ll  pump  the  Judge  until  we  get  out  of  him  all 
about  the  way  this  rascally  appointment  has  been  made.” 

Already  it  was  u  a  rascally”  appointment. 

After  Harmon’s  talk  with  the  Judge,  who  was  but  too  ready 
to  acknowledge  his  instrumentality  in  the  matter,  it  became  a 
“  detestable  appointment,”  and  an  u  underhanded  proceeding.” 
And  scarce  had  the  tail  of  the  Judge’s  horse  disappeared  over 
the  bridge  that  night,  when  all  Harrowfork  rang  with  the  dis¬ 
covery  that  had  been  made.  Little  thought  the  11  reliable” 
man  as  he  went  home,  chuckling  over  the  joke,  what  a  hor¬ 
net’s  nest  he  had  disturbed.  But  he  probably  knew  some¬ 
thing  of  it  the  following  Sunday,  when  the  widower  Walters 
went  over  to  Amesbury  to  pay  a  visit  to  the  Judge’s  family  in 
general,  and  his  eldest  daughter  in  particular. 

The  truth  is,  a  deafening  hum  of  indignation  had  gone  up 
from  Harrowfork,  and  it  was  universally  declared  that  the  new 
appointment  was  by  far  the  most  objectionable  that  could  pos¬ 
sibly  have  been  made ! 

The  result  was,  the  Department,  the  u  reliable”  man,  and 
the  new  post  master,  individually  and  collectively,  got  soundly 
abused  by  all  hands ;  and  it  was  not  long  before  a  delegation 
was  dispatched  to  Washington,  to  expose  the  fraud,  and  re¬ 
monstrate  against  the  continuance  of  Walters  in  office.  Against 
the  latter,  the  most  serious  charges  were  preferred.  It  was 
claimed,  among  other  things,  that  he  had  been  in  town  but  a 
few  years ;  furthermore,  that  he'had  some  time  since  held  the 
office  of  post  master  in  a  neighboring  state,  and  had  resigned 
to  prevent  being  removed  for  official  delinquencies.  It  was 
mainly  on  this  ground  that  the  Post  Master  General  was  in¬ 
duced  to  recall  his  commission.  Scarcely  was  this  done,  how- 


CURED  OF  OFFICE  HOLDING. 


301 

ever,  when  it  was  discovered  that  the  unfortunate  man  had 
been  wronged;  that  it  was  another  Walters  who  had  been  a 
post  master,  &c. 

Anxious  to  make  immediate  reparation,  the  Department 
hastened  to  send  on  the  papers  again;  but  by  this  time,  Wal¬ 
ters,  indignant  at  the  manner  in  which  he  had  been  treated, 
refused  to  accept  the  office,  writing  a  high-toned  and  dignified 
letter  on  the  subject  to  the  Post  Master  General. 

“I  do  not  wish,”  said  he,  “  to  have  anything  whatever  to  do  with 
the  petty  strife  of  politics.  I  have  not  sought,  neither  do  I  desire, 
any  public  office.  Had  such  been  my  ambition,  my  recent  experience 
would  be  sufficient  entirely  to  eradicate  the  disease,  unless  it  had 
become  chronic,  from  the  effects  of  breathing  too  long  the  malaria  of 
political  society. 

“  ‘Some  are  born  great;  some  achieve  greatness;  and  others  have 
greatness  thrust  upon  them ;’  mine  was  of  the  last  description ;  but 
I  am  thankful  that  it  has  been  temporary :  nor  shall  I  again  consent 
to  endure  ‘the  slings  and  arrows  of  outrageous  Fortune,’  in  so  lofty 
and  exposed  a  position  as  that  of  post  master  of  Harrowfork.” 

The  sharp  and  independent  style  of  this  epistle  made  Wal¬ 
ters  quite  popular  with  the  Department,  and  he  was  again 
urged  to  accept  the  commission,  which  he  again  refused. 

The  trouble  was  accordingly  no  nearer  a  settlement  than  at 
the  outset.  The  Department  had  unwittingly  offended  every¬ 
body,  and  the  “reliable”  man  was,  perhaps,  the  most  violently 
indignant  of  all.  When  applied  to  a  second  time,  he  fired  off 
an  explosive  epistle  at  the  Post  Master  General,  which  would 
serve  as  a  model  for  that  style  of  writing. 

u  He  was  not  the  person/’  he  said,  “to  place  himself  more 
than  once  in  a  position  to  be  gratuitously  insulted.”  And  he 
was  surprised  that  the  Department,  after  subjecting  Walters 
to  the  treatment  he  had  received,  should  again  apply  to  him 
(the  Judge)  for  assistance.  Had  he  an  enemy  whom  he 
wished  to  make  the  victim  of  public  animadversion  and 
disgrace,  he  might  possibly  nominate  him  to  the  office.  But 
certainly  he  could  not  think  of  laying  such  an  affliction  at  the 


A  NEW  APPOINTMENT. 


305 


door  of  his  friends.  In  conclusion,  the  Post  Master  General, 
President,  and  Company,  were  politely  invited  to  “  look  else¬ 
where  for  support  in  future.” 

The  truth  is,  the  Judge’s  vanity  was  touched.  Having  en¬ 
joyed  the  notoriety  of  procuring  the  appointment  of  Walters, 
he  naturally  became  incensed  at  the  turn  affairs  had  taken, 
and  seized  the  first  opportunity  of  emptying  the  vials  of  his 
wrath  in  a  quarter  where  they  were  expected  to  produce  a 
sensation.  The  Administration,  however,  survived. 

Meanwhile  Mr.  Atkins,  editor  of  the  Temperance  Goblet, 
who  had  his  special  candidate — a  speculator  named  Blake — 
was  playing  his  cards  adroitly.  He  had  a  strong  ally  in  Hon. 
Mr.  Savage,  M.  C.,  then  at  Washington.  The  last-named 
gentleman,  who  had  previously  taken  offence  at  the  Post  Mas¬ 
ter  General,  for  having  the  independence  to  fill  a  vacancy  in 
a  post-office  in  his  District  without  consulting  him,  now,  how¬ 
ever,  came  alertly  to  the  rescue,  assuring  the  Department  that 
Blake  was  the  most  suitable  man  that  could  be  chosen.  Blake 
was  accordingly  honored  with  the  commission  which  Walters  ‘ 
had  refused. 

Now  Blake  was  a  strenuous  advocate  of  the  u  Maine  law.” 
He,  accordingly,  had  for  his  enemies  all  the  opponents  of  his 
favorite  doctrine.  The  “  Harrowfork  Freeman,”  an  anti-Maine 
law  organ,  was  particularly  bitter  against  him.  The  editor 
of  that  paper  lent  his  columns  to  the  exposure  of  the  new  post 
master’s  past  course,  and  in  a  <(  scathing  article”  accused  him 
of  having  been  formerly  the  proprietor  of  a  large  distillery, 
and  of  having  accumulated  the  bulk  of  his  property  in  that 
business ! 

On  the  other  hand,  Atkins  of  the  Goblet  devoted  his  paper 
to  the  defence  of  his  candidate.  At  the  same  time  Hon.  Mr. 
Savage  had  become  reconciled  to  the  Post  Master  General,  in 
consequence  of  the  attention  paid  to  his  recommendation  in 
the  case,  and  wrote  a  friendly  and  familiar  letter  to  the  De¬ 
partment,  explanatory  and  apologetic  of  Blake’s  course.  He 
alluded  to  the  article  in  the  “  Freeman,”  and  expressed  a  hope 
26  * 


306 


ENLIGHTENED  VIEWS. 


that  the  Department  would  not  be  prejudiced  by  its  state¬ 
ments. 

This  reference,  by  the  way,  was  the  first  intimation  the  De¬ 
partment  had,  that  such  an  article  ever  appeared.  The  honor¬ 
able  member  went  on  to  treat  the  subject  as  if  the  general 
Government  and  the  nation  at  large  stood  waiting  with  breath¬ 
less  anxiety  for  the  issue. 

“True,”  said  he,  u  he  was  at  one  time  engaged  in  the  manu¬ 
facture  of  liquor;  but  certainly  that  circumstance  should  not 
injure  him  in  the  estimation  of  high-minded  and  liberal  men. 
It  is  an  honest  calling,  if  honestly  followed,  and  nobody  will 
pretend  that  Blake  has  not  shown  himself  upright  in  all  his 
dealings.  For  my  part,  I  hold  to  enlightened  views  on  the 
subject  of  eating  and  drinking;  nor  do  I  believe  that  one 
citizen  has  a  right  to  penetrate  and  criticise  another’s  private 
life.” 

Blake  was  continued  in  office,  whether  in  consequence  of 
the  Honorable  member’s  championship,  we  cannot  say.  But 
'certain  it  was,  that  in  the  election  struggle  which  came  off 
soon  after,  Atkins  of  the  Goblet  supported  the  regular  candi¬ 
date  for  Congress,  who  was  no  other  than  this  same  Mr.  Savage, 
of  u  enlightened  views ;”  and  by  carrying  the  mass  of  the 
temperance  vote,  secured  his  re-election  by  some  forty-five 
majority ! 

The  Goblet’s  course  in  this  business  appeared  not  a  little 
mysterious.  It  had  supported  Blake  for  post  master — a  man 
whose  temperance  professions  were  now  regarded  as  entirely 
superficial  and  worthless — and  Savage  for  Congress,  a  person 
more  than  suspected  as  being  a  moderate  drinker  and  a  man 
of  boasted  “  liberal  prin  ^iples.”  Messrs.  Harmon  and  Fogle  put 
their  dissatisfied  heads  together  to  discover  the  secret.  They 
were  aided  and  encouraged  by  the  editor  of  the  Freeman,  and 
presently  in  an  article  in  that  paper  headed,  “  How  to  make 
Tin  Night-Caps  out  of  Pine  Shingles,”  the  whole  “  black  his¬ 
tory  of  shameless  fraud  and  double-dealing,”  as  it  was  called, 


TURNIP  TOPS. 


307 


was  revealed  to  an  astounded  public.  We  quote  a  few  para¬ 
graphs  from  the  Freeman’s  article  : — 

“  Here,”  said  the  merciless  reviewer,  with  genuine  satire,  “here  is 
a  beautiful  instance  of  love  and  harmony  in  political  life !  Here  is 
prophecy  fulfilled.  ‘The  lion  and  the  lamb  shall  lie  down  together, 
and  a  little  child  shall  lead  them.’  Savage — rightly  named — is  the 
lion.  Blake — innocent,  harmless,  dove-like  Blake,  who  never  did  any¬ 
thing  wrong,  is  the  lamb ;  and  Atkins  is  the  little  boy.  He  leads 
them  into  sweet  pastures  of  public  office ;  and  gives  them  to  drink  of 
Congress  water  and  post-office  pap.  0  happy  trio!  0  honest  and 
consistent  coalition ! 

“What  makes  the  union  appear  all  the  more  admirable,  is  the  fact  that 
the  most  discordant  elements  have  here  been  made  to  blend  and  inter¬ 
mingle.  Savage  is  a  moderate  drinker,  who  loves  his  wine  at  dinner, 
and  his  punch  before  going  to  bed.  Atkins  is  a  stiff  and  uncompro¬ 
mising  temperance  man.  One  is  Maine  law,  the  other  is  Anti-Maine 
law.  As  for  Blake,  he  is  sometimes  one,  sometimes  both,  and  some¬ 
times  neither  one  thing  nor  the  other.  But  Atkins  supports  Savage, 
Savage  supports  Blake,  and  they  all  support  each  other. 

“  Now,  as  our  grandmother  used  to  say,  ‘wherever  you  see  a  turnip- 
top  growing,  you  may  be  sure  that  there’s  a  turnip  at  the  bottom  of 
it.  Large  or  small,  it’s  still  a  turnip.’  Now,  we  have  long  admired 
the  luxuriance  of  Savage,  Atkins,  Blake  &  Co.’s  turnip-tops.  We 
have  recently  been  looking  for  the  turnip,  and  lo  !  here  it  is  !  Who 
secured  Savage’s  re-election  ?  Blake,  when  at  the  last  county  con¬ 
vention  of  the  Maine  Laws,  he  advised  them  not  to  make  an  independent 
temperance  ticket  for  Congress.  Who  devoted  his  paper  to  the  cause 
of  the  moderate  drinker?  Atkins.  Who  got  Blake  the  post-office? 
Atkins  and  Savage.  But  what  are  Savage  and  Blake  doing  for  Atkins 
all  this  time?  Is  Atkins  so  unselfish  as  to  work  for  them  gratis? 
Nobody  believes  it!  Where  then  does  the  milk  in  the  cocoa-nut  come 
from  ?  Let  us  see. 

“  In  the  first  place — we  have  it  on  the  authority  of  an  old  lady  who 
knows  the  genealogy  of  every  family  in  the  county,  and  can  trace 
most  people’s  ancestry  back  to  Noah — Blake  is  Atkins’s  second  cousin. 
There’s  one  point.  Now  for  another.  Blake  owns  three-fourths  of 
the  entire  Goblet  printing  establishment,  and  holds  the  property  in 
such  a  way,  that  he  can  any  day  take  the  paper  into  his  own  hands, 
and  manage  it  to’suit  himself!  Therefore,  whoever  edits  the  Goblet, 
is  Blake’s  tributary.  We  were  going  to  say  tool  or  slave,  but  con- 


308 


A  LULL  IN  HARROWFORK. 


eluded  to  sacrifice  truth  to  politeness.  Thus  it  happens  that  Atkins 
is  only  as  it  were  Blake’s  left  hand,”  &c. 

After  several  more  paragraphs  of  the  same  sort,  the  author 
of  the  annihilating  article,  who  found  it  very  difficult  to  con¬ 
clude  the  subject,  being  of  a  very  rich  and  attractive  nature, 
finally  summed  up  all  his  points,  and  bound  them  together 
with  a  striking  original  quotation,  attributed  to  Shakspeare. 
It  was  as  follows  : 

“  0  consistency !  thou  art  a  jewel! 

Which,  like  the  toad,  ugly  and  envious, 

Bears  yet  a  precious  secret  in  his  head.” 

It  was  this  mongrel  quotation  which  damped  the  Freeman's 
powder.  The  Goblet  took  it  up,  turning  the  laugh  against  its 
rival ;  and  for  months  the  modern  style  of  rendering  Shaks¬ 
peare  was  a  standing  joke.  Of  course  a  copy  of  the  Freeman, 
containing  the  editorial  marked,  was  sent  to  the  Post  Master 
General;  but  on  reading  about  the  toad  at  the  end  of  the 
annihilating  article,  the  Department  dismissed  the  whole  sub¬ 
ject  with  a  good-natured  laugh. 

Notwithstanding  the  truth  of  the  charges  against  him, 
Blake  was  continued  in  office.  ’Twas  probably  the  fun  of  the 
thing  that  saved  him. 

Then  followed  a  lull.  The  good  people  of  Harrowfork  were 
worn  out  with  the  harassing  post-office  question,  and  it  was 
permitted  to  rest  until  the  approach  of  the  next  Congressional 
election. 

Atkins  of  the  Goblet  went  openly  to  work  to  secure  the 
re-nomination  of  Savage.  But  in  the  mean  time,  a  u  spy  in 
Wasliingtoa" — there  are  always  “  spies  in  Washington" — 
privately  gave  information  to  the  leading  Maine  law  men  in 
the  District,  concerning  the  Honorable  member’s  very  equi¬ 
vocal  support  of  temperance  principles.  Armed  with  this 
intelligence,  the  indignant  constituency  remonstrated  with 


EFFECTS  OF  BAD  WATEB. 


309 


Atkins  on  the  inconsistency  of  his  course.  He  however, 
“  flatly  denied”  the  allegations  against  Savage. 

“  Very  well,”  said  the  constituency;  “you  may  he  sincere, 
but  we  shall  investigate  the  matter  a  little.” 

At  the  allusion  to  investigation,  Atkins  winced,  and  en¬ 
deavored  to  dissuade  his  friends  from  such  a  “needless  step.” 

“  We’ll  have  a  committee  appointed  to  write  Savage  a  letter, 
at  all  events,  and  demand  an  exposition  of  his  principles,” 
replied  they.  “We  want  to  know  what  sort  of  a  man  we  are 
supporting.  We  went  for  Savage  before,  mainly  through  your 
influence;  now  we’re  determined  to  make  sure  it’s  all  right, 
before  we  give  him  a  single  vote.” 

“Nonsense,  gentlemen,”  said  Atkins;  “of  course  it’s  all 
right !  Don’t  go  to  bothering  our  candidate  with  letters.  Let¬ 
ters  are  the  devil  in  politics.” 

The  temperance  men,  however,  were  not  to  be  dissuaded, 
and  a  letter  was  written,  in  which  the  Hon.  member  was 
asked,  among  other  things,  if  he  was  or  was  not  “  in  the  habit 
of  using  intoxicating  liquors  as  a  beverage,  while  at  the  seat 
of  Government  ?” 

In  reply  to  this  question,  the  gentleman  of  “  enlightened 
views”  wrote  to  the  committee  : — 

“I  frankly  admit,  that  in  consequence  of  the  bad  water  at  Wash¬ 
ington,  which  has  so  deleterious  an  effect  upon  my  health,  when  I 
drink  it,  as  to  render  me  for  a  large  portion  of  the  time  unfit  for  busi¬ 
ness,  I  have  occasionally,  by  the  advice  of  my  physician,  resorted  to 
ardent  spirits,  simply  as  a  remedial  agent.  Yet  this  habit  has  been 
confined  strictly  to  the  Capital.  Never  out  of  Washington  have  I  in¬ 
dulged  in  anything  of  the  sort,  even  as  a  medicine.’' 

This  letter  was  received  with  significant  nods  and  winks, 
expressive  of  doubts  and  disapprobation,  by  the  committee; 
and  it  was  sent  to  the  “Goblet”  for  publication.  In  the  mean 
time,  however,  its  author  had  given  Atkins  private  instructions 
on  the  subject;  and  the  “Goblet”  declined  to  publish  the 
letter. 


310 


THE  REFUSAL. 


“  Gentlemen,”  said  Atkins,  when  called  on  for  an  explana¬ 
tion,  “this  is  an  absurd  affair  from  beginning  to  end.  I 
opposed  the  proceeding  at  the  outset.  I  consider  the  letter 
perfectly  satisfactory ;  but  my  readers  are  tired  of  these  things, 
and  so  am  I.  I  must  therefore  be  excused  from  haying  any¬ 
thin"  to  do  with  the  affair.” 

O 

“  You  will  publish  the  letter,  however,  as  an  advertisement?” 
suggested  the  committee. 

“Not  even  as  an  advertisement!” 

“  Not  if  paid  for?” 

“  No,  not  if  paid  for,  gentlemen  !”  said  the  imperturbable 
Atkins. 

“Very  well,”  replied  the  committee,'  exasperated,  “we 
know  who  will  publish  it.” 

They  went  across  the  way  to  the  office  of  the  “  Freeman,” 
the  “  rum  paper,”  as  it  was  called.  Harmon,  who  was  of  the 
committee,  knew  the  editor,  and  took  him  confidentially  aside. 

“  Atkins,”  said  he,  “  refuses  to  print  this  document ;  'twill 
be  just  the  thing  for  you,  and  it  will  spite  him  to  see  it  in  the 
Freeman.” 

“  To  tell  you  the  truth,”  said  he,  “  I'm  afraid  to  publish  it. 
'Twill  just  suit  our  moderate  drinkers,  and  I’m  not  so  sure  but 
it  would  injure  our  candidate  with  that  class  of  men.  On  the 
whole,”  said  he,  “  I  think  I  won’t  print  it.” 

Foiled  in  this  quarter,  John  Harmon  bethought  him  of  the 
“  News  Courier,”  a  neutral  paper  published  in  a  neighboring 
town,  which  offered  to  print  communications  relating  to  the 
approaching  campaign,  provided  they  were  written  in  a  proper 
spirit,  and  did  not  compromise  too  much  its  position  as  a 
neutral  journal. 

The  Savage  letter  was  accordingly  sent  to  the  Courier,  and 
promptly  appeared  in  its  columns.  But  the  editor,  desiring  to 
keep  both  scales  of  the  balance  as  nearly  in  equilibrium  as 
possible,  inserted  in  the  same  number  of  his  paper  a  very  pro¬ 
found,  scientific  treatise,  signed  “  Filter,”  giving  an  analysis 
of  the  Washington  water,  showing  that  its  chemical  properties 


THE  QUESTION  REVIVED. 


311 


were  identical  with  those  of  the  member’s  own  well  at  home  l 
and  strongly  questioning  the  utility  of  mixing  whiskey  with 
it  at  all,  and  more  especially  such  whiskey  as  is  too  often  sold 
at  the  seat  of  Government ! 

The  result  was  decisive.  The  Goblet  lost  popularity  and 
patronage ;  Atkins  lost  influence  and  money ;  and  Savage  lost 
the  election.  On  the  other  hand,  the  News  Courier  gained 
the  favor  and  support  of  the  temperance  people,  by  its  “  bold 
and  manly  course’’  in  exposing  the  rottenness  of  Savage’s 
principles.  John  Harmon  was  triumphant;  and  one  of  the 
very  leaders  of  the  temperance  cause  was  sent  to  Congress. 

The  new  member  was  no  other  than  Judge  Ames,  the 
“  reliable”  man,  himself !  Reader,  be  not  surprised  !  Political 
life  is  fertile  in  such  unexpected  events.  The  Judge  had 
gained  popularity  by  coming  out  strongly  for  the  Maine  law. 
The  old  party  to  which  he  belonged  had  endorsed  his  nomina¬ 
tion,  John  Harmon  electioneered  for  him,  and  lent  his  horse 
and  wagon  to  bring  invalids,  old  men,  and  indifferent  voters  to 
the  polls,  on  election  day ;  and  the  Judge  was  returned  by  an 
overwhelming  majority. 

Then  the  old  question  of  post  master  was  again  revived, 
and  the  whole  ground  gone  over  again ;  the  contest  becoming 
more  personal  and  desperate  than  before,  and  the  files  of  the 
Department  teeming  with  all  sorts  of  exaggerated  petitions 
and  violent  remonstrances.  The  appointing  power  was  made 
the  victim  of  every  kind  of  imposition  and  abuse. 

In  the  mean  while  the  new  member  exercised  that  better 
part  of  valor,  called  discretion.  Popularity  rendered  him 
good-natured  and  conservative ;  and  he  lost  no  time  in  effect¬ 
ing  a  reconciliation  with  the  Post  Master  General,  of  whom 
he  had  so  rashly  complained.  Already,  on  the  other  hand  he 
had  written  to  his  constituents  describing  the  embarrassment 
of  his  situation,  and  requesting  as  a  particular  favor  that  he 
might  for  a  brief  period  at  least  be  excused  from  any  personal 
interference  with  the  post-office  quarrel. 

This  unexpected  communication  somewhat  disappointed  the 


312 


BEARER  OF  DISPATCHES. 


enemies  of  Blake ;  J olin  Harmon,  in  particular,  was  highly 
exasperated,  having  previously  obtained  a  promise  from  Ames 
that,  in  case  of  his  election,  he  would  use  his  influence  to  have 
Blake  removed. 

The  antagonistic  parties  were  accordingly  left  to  settle  their 
difficulties  as  best  they  could.  The  battle  raged  furiously. 
Fresh  petitions,  remonstrances,  affidavits,  and  accusations  were 
volleyed  at  the  Department ;  and  at  length  a  special  bearer  of 
dispatches  was  delegated  to  Washington,  to  support  the  charges 
against  Blake,  and  demand  of  the  Post  Master  General  his 
reasons  for  declining  immediate  action  in  so  plain  a  case. 

Now,  the  person  selected  for  this  important  mission  was  no 
other  than  our  old  acquaintance,  Mr.  John,  Harmon.  He  was 
intrusted  with  the  business  for  several  excellent  reasons.  In 
the  first  place,  he  was  a  ready  and  vehement  talker.  Secondly, 
he  was  an  enthusiast  on  the  post-office  question,  and  a  bitter 
opponent  of  the  Blake  faction.  Thirdly,  he  understood  human 
nature,  and  knew  how  to  manage  Ames.  Fourthly,  and  chiefly, 
he  was  the  author  of  the  most  serious  charge  against  Blake. 
He  had  a  short  time  before  posted  a  letter  containing  a  twenty 
dollar  bank-note,  at  the  Harrowfork  post-office.  This  letter 
never  reached  its  destination.  Now,  Blake  knew  there  was 
money  in  that  letter ;  and  it  could  be  proved  that,  not  long 
after  its  miscarriage,  just  such  a  bank-note  as  the  one  contained 
was  passed  by  the  post  master,  u  under  suspicious  circum¬ 
stances.” 

This  charge  was  on  file  among  the  papers  of  the  Department ; 
and  it  was  thought  that  Harmon  was  the  most  suitable  person 
to  agitate  the  subject. 

Mr.  John  Harmon  made  a  comfortable  journey,  and  arrived 
at  the  seat  of  Government  in  due  season.  His  first  business 
was  to  secure  lodgings  suited  to  the  high  character  of  a  dele¬ 
gate  from  Harrowfork.  But  Washington  was  crowded  with 
visitors,  and  the  hotels  were  filled.  Mr.  John  Harmon  was 
chagrined.  He  leaned  his  chin  upon  his  hand,  and  his  elbow 


GOING  HALVES. 


313 


\v 


upon  the  counter  of  the  “National.”  Mr.  John  Hannon 
ruminated. 

“  I  don’t  see  but  what  me’n’  you’ll  hef  to  go  halves,  and 
turn  in  together,”  said  a  voice  at  his  other  elbow. 

Mr.  John  Harmon  looked  up.  A  stranger,  of  tall  figure, 
prominent  cheek-bones,  sallow  complexion,  dressed  in  a  very  ' 
new  and  very  stiff  suit  of  clothes,  smiled  upon  him  in  a 
decidedly  friendly  manner. 

“  There’s  jest  one  room,  the  landlord  says’st  we  can  hav’  on  a 
pinch,”  contined  the  speaker.  “  It’s  up  pooty  high,  and  an’t 
a  very  sizable  room,  at  that.  I’ve  got  the  furst  offer  on’t,  but 
I  won’t  mind  makin’  a  team’th  you,  if  you’re  a  mind  to  hitch 
on,  and  make  the  best  on’t.  What  d’ye  say  7” 

Mr.  John  Harmon  said  he  supposed  he  would  accept  his 
new  friend’s  proposal.  But  at  the  same  time  he  hinted  to  the 
clerk  at  the  desk  that  he  was  from  the  Hon.  Mr.  Ames’  District. 

“  If  you  were  the  President,  himself,  we  could  not  do  any 
better  by  you,  under  the  circumstances,”  said  the  clerk. 

This  assurance  served  to  soothe  John  Harmon’s  injured  feel¬ 
ings,  and  he  retired  to  the  room  in  the  top  of  the  house,  with 
his  new  acquaintance. 

“  Come  down  on  Gov’ment  business,  I  s’pose  likely  7”  sug¬ 
gested  the  latter. 

“  Yes,”  replied  John  Harmon,  “on  post-office  business.” 

“  I  want  to  know !  Glad  we  fell  in,”  cried  the  stranger. 

“  I  came  down  on  some  sich  business  myself.” 

“  Indeed  !”  said  John  Harmon.  “You  are  going  to  call  on 
the  Post  Master  General,  then  7” 

“  Shouldn’t  be  ’tall  surprised,”  remarked  the  other,  rolling 
up  his  sleeves  over  the  wash-bowl.  “Can’t  tell  exac’ly, 
though.  I  wanted  to  see  what  was  goin’  on  down  here,  and 
git  a  sight  of  the  big  bugs,  and  hear  a  little  spoutin’  in  Con¬ 
gress;  so  I  told  our  folks  to  hum — says  I,  I  b’lieve  I’ll  scooter 
off  down  to  Washin’ton,  says  I,  and  take  a  peep  into  the  Dead 
Letter  Office,  and  see  if  I  can  find  hide  or  hair  o’  that  ’ere 
hundred  dollar  letter,  says  I.” 

27 


/ 


314 


DEAIV  LETTER  OFFICE. 


u  Have  you  lost  a  letter  containing  a  hundred  dollars  V ’  in¬ 
quired  John  Harmon,  interested. 

The  stranger  said  “'twas  jes’  so,”  and  went  on  to  relate  the 
circumstances.  He  also  incidentally  stated  that  his  name  was 
Forrester  Wilcox ;  that  he  owned  a  farm  somewhere  u  down 
East,”  comprising  over  two  hundred  acres  of  land,  and  one 
hundred  and  fifty  under  cultivation;  that  he  had  been  a 
member  of  the  Maine  legislature,  and  held  the  office  of 
u  deputy  sheriff”  in  his  county.  This  account  of  himself  im¬ 
pressed  J ohn  Harmon  favorably ;  and  in  return  for  the  con¬ 
fidence,  he  talked  Mr.  Forrester  Wilcox  to  sleep  that  night,  on 
the  subject  of  the  Harrowfork  post-office. 

On  the  following  morning,  our  friends  concluded  to  pay  an 
early  visit  to  the  Post-Office  Department.  They  were  now  on 
excellent  terms  with  each  other;  and  on  arriving  at  the  Depart¬ 
ment,  J  ohn  Harmon  readily  accepted  an  invitation  from  For¬ 
rester  Wilcox  to  accompany  him  to  the  Dead  Letter  Office, 
before  endangering  the  digestion  of  his  breakfast,  by  entering 
upon  the  perplexing  Harrowfork  business.  Accordingly,  as 
they  entered  the  building,  Mr.  Wilcox  hailed  a  messenger. 

“  Look  here  !  you  !”  said  he,  u  where  abouts  does  a  chap  go 
to  find  the  Dead  Letters?” 

u  This  way,”  replied  the  polite  messenger. 

The  visitors  were  shown  to  the  left,  through  the  lower  main 
hall  of  the  Department;  then  turning  into  another  passage, 
the  messenger  pointed  out  the  last  door  on  the  right,  as  the 
one  they  were  in  search  of. 

“  Thank  ye,”  said  Mr.  Wilcox ;  u  I’ll  do  as  much  for  you 
some  time.  May  as  well  bolt  right  in,  I  suppose?”  he 
added,  consulting  his  companion. 

John  Harmon  said  u  certainly,”  and  the  next  moment  the 
two  found  themselves  in  the  midst  of  the  clerks  of  that 
important  Bureau.  Mr.  Forrester  Wilson  singled  out  one  of 
the  most  approachable  of  them,  and  addressed  him  on  the 
subject  of  the  hundred  dollar  letter. 

“  J  have  no  recollection  of  any  such  letter,”  said  the  clerk. 


A  CHARGE  CLEARED  UP. 


315 


However,  for  the  visitor’s  satisfaction,  he  examined  the  list 
of  returned  money  letters,  for  the  last  quarter.  John  Har¬ 
mon,  interested  for  his  friend  Wilcox,  also  ran  his  eye  over 
the  list. 

“  It’s  not  here,”  said  the  clerk  ;  “  hut  you  may  rest  assured, 
that  in  case  it  is  at  any  time  discovered,  it  will  find  its  way 
back  to  you  in  safety.” 

He  was  about  to  dismiss  the  visitors,  but  John  Harmon 
coughed;  John  Harmon  looked  very  red.  John  Harmon  was 
perspiring  very  profusely.  The  truth  is,  among  the  last  letters 
on  the  list,  he  found  recorded  the  identical  one,  containing  the 
twenty  dollar  bank  note,  which  Blake  was  charged  with  pur¬ 
loining  !  What  to  do  in  the  matter,  John  Harmon  was  at  a  loss 
to  know.  After  some  hesitation,  however,  he  asked  permission 
to  glance  once  more  at  the  list.  He  was  accommodated,  and 
presently  his  finger  rested  on  the  important  entry. 

“  I  declare,”  said  he,  “  if  there  ain’t  a  letter  I  mailed  at 
Harrowfork  !  I  had  no  idea  of  finding  it  here  !  Can  I  get  it 
now,  by  proving  property  ?” 

“  It  has  already  been  returned  to  your  address,”  answered 
the  clerk,  on  learning  the  circumstances.  “  You  will  find  it  on 
your  return  to  Harrowfork.  It  miscarried  in  consequence  of 
a  mistake  in  the  superscription.” 

“  Are  you  sure  it  has  been  sent?”  inquired  John  Harmon. 

The  clerk  was  quite  sure,  and  John  Harmon  instantly  with¬ 
drew. 

“  So  there’s  one  of  your  charges  agin  Blake  knocked  over¬ 
board,”  suggested  Wilcox.  “  He’ll  be  a  little  grain  tickled  to 
see  that  ’ere  letter  come  back,  I  s’pect !” 

“  No  person,”  answered  John  Harmon,  magnanimously, 
“no  person  in  the  world  can  be  more  rejoiced  than  I  am,  that 
Blake  is  proved  innocent  of  the  charge.” 

Wilcox  replied  that  he  was  very  glad  to  hear  it ;  and  so 
they  parted  to  meet  again  at  dinner.  Whether  John  Harmon 
was  so  greatly  rejoiced  at  the  proof  of  Blake’s  innocence,  will 
be  seen  in  the  sequel. 


316 


INTERVIEW  WITH  THE  ASSISTANT. 


While  the  Down  Easter  went  to  see  the  lions  about  town, 
our  delegate  found  his  way  to  the  apartment  of  the  Post  Master 
General,  and  inquired  for  that  officer  in  a  manner  which  said 
very  plainly,  “I  am  John  Harmon,  of  Harrowfork;  and  I 
guess  now  we’ll  have  that  little  post-office  affair  settled.” 

Unfortunately — or  rather  fortunately,  for  his  own  peace  of 
mind,  at  least,  the  Post  Master  General  was  engaged  that 
morning  at  Cabinet  meeting  at  the  White  House,  and  John 
Harmon  was  referred  to  the  First  Assistant,  who  listened 
patiently  to  his  statement.  Our  delegate  had  a  speech  pre¬ 
pared  for  the  occasion,  which  he  now  declaimed  in  a  very  high 
tone  of  voice,  “with  a  swaggering  accent,  sharply  twanged 
off,”  as  Sir  Toby  Belch  would  have  said,  and  with  vehement 
and  abundant  gestures. 

“I  am  instructed  by  my  constituents,”  he  said,  in  conclu¬ 
sion,  “  to  demand  of  the  Department  satisfactory  reasons  for 
the  delay  and  procrastination  to  which  we  have  been  obliged 
tamely  to  submit !” 

“You  should  consider,”  politely  returned  the  Assistant, 
“  that  IJarrowfork  numbers  only  one  among  some  twenty-four 
thousand  post-offices  in  the  Union ;  and  that  it  is  a  little  un¬ 
reasonable  to  expect  us  to  bear  in  mind  all  the  details  of  an 
occasional  and  not  uncommon  case.  We  will  attend  to  your 
business,  however,  directly.” 

The  papers  relating  to  the  Harrowfork  Post-Office  were 
sent  for,  and  promptly  produced.  The  delegate  seized  them 
without  ceremony.  The  first  endorsement  that  caught  his 
eye,  checked  his  eagerness,  and  induced  reflection. 

“  I’d  like  to  know,  sir,”  said  he,  “  what  that  means  ?”  as 
he  called  the  Assistant’s  attention  to  the  word  “  Best,”  in¬ 
scribed  in  formidable  characters,  very  much  resembling  the 
hand- writing  of  the  Post  Master  General. 

“  If  you  think,”  he  continued,  “  or  imagine,  or  flatter  your¬ 
selves  that  you’re  to  have  any  kind  of  rest  in  this  marble  build¬ 
ing,  till  that  rascally  Blake  is  turned  out,  you’re  very  much 
mistaken.  Or  if  it  means  that  you  want  the  rest  of  the  tern- 


A  HARMLESS  WORD.  317 

perance  men  in  favor  of  his  removal,  I  can  promise  yon  so 
much,  on  my  responsibility  as  a  delegate.” 

The  Assistant  smiled.  He  had  dealt  with  persons  of  John 
Harmon’s  temperament  before. 

“  Permit  me  to  inform  you,”  said  he,  “  what  that  harmless 
little  word  signifies.  It  means  nothing  more  nor  less  than 
that,  for  the  present,  no  action  is  to  take  place.  Ah !”  he 
added,  glancing  at  the  brief  upon  the  papers,  “ 1  remember 
this  case  very  well !  It  has  been  from  first  to  last  an  exceed¬ 
ingly  vexatious  one  to  the  Department,  and  these  memoranda 
bring  it  pretty  fully  to  my  recollection.” 

“  Well,  sir,”  interrupted  John  Harmon,  in  his  declamatory 
way — “  isn’t  it  plain  ?  isn’t  it  perfectly  clear  ?  Haven’t  we  the 
rights  of  the  case,  sir  ?” 

“  It  is  not  quite  so  plain — not  quite  so  clear — -nor  is  it  easy^ 
to  determine  who  has  the  rights  of  the  case,”  returned  the 
official.  “  The  most  troublesome  point  at  the  present  time, 
seems  to  be  this  :  while,  according  to  the  documents,  a  major¬ 
ity  of  the  citizens  of  Harrowfork  seem  to  be  eager  for  a 
removal,  both  the  late  member  of  Congress,  and  the  newly 
elected  one,  have  written  private  letters  here — I  mention  this 
confidentially — in  favor  of  the  present  incumbent.” 

“You  don’t  mean  Ames?”  cried  John  Harmon.  “Ames 
hasn’t  come  out  for  Blake  ?” 

“  There  is  a  letter  on  file,  over  his  own  signature,  in  which 
he  represents  that  Blake  is  as  suitable  a  man  as  could  be 
named,  and  that  he  had  better  be  continued  in  office.” 

The  Assistant  spoke  with  seriousness  and  candor.  John 
Harmon  was  thunderstruck. 

“  Just  give  me  a  look  at  that  letter  !”  said  he,  through  his 
closed  teeth.  “  I  want  to  see  it  over  Ames’  own  fist,  before  1 
believe  it !  When  we  promised  our  support  for  his  election, 
he  agreed  to  carry  out  our  wishes  in  regard  to  the  post-office, 
at  all  hazards !  If  he  has  dared  to  turn  traitor !”  muttered 
John  Harmon,  revengefully. 

“  The  letter  is  entirely  of  a  private  nature,”  said  the  Assist- 

27  * 


318 


TIIE  FATAL  LETTER. 


ant,  “  but  it  is  contrary  to  our  wishes  to  keep  any  communi¬ 
cations  -secret,  that  are  designed  to  influence  our  public  acts ; 
and  owing  to  the  peculiar  circumstances  of  the  case,  I  am  will¬ 
ing  to  show  you  the  letter, — on  condition,  however,  that  its 
contents  shall  not  be  divulged  outside  the  Department.” 

John  Harmon,  burning  to  seize  upon  the  evidence  of  Ames’ 
treachery,  assented,  although  reluctantly;  and  the  official  ex¬ 
plored  the  wilderness  of  papers,  for  the  document  in  question. 
i(  Here  it  is,”  said  he,  u  no  !” — glancing  at  the  endorsement — • 
“  this  is  a  communication  with  regard  to  a  letter  of  your  own, 
containing  a  twenty  dollar  note,  which  Blake  is  charged  with 
purloining.  How  is  it  about  that  ?  anything  new  ?” 

“Well, — no, — hem!”  coughed  John  Harmon.  After  dis¬ 
covering  the  proof  of  Blake’s  innocence,  in  the  Dead  Letter 
Office,  he  rather  hoped  the  subject  would  not  be  mentioned; 
but  he  was  too  much  absorbed  in  looking  after  Ames’  honesty, 
to  take  very  good  care  of  his  own.  “  The  matter — hem !” 
(John’s  throat  was  quite  musty) — 11  stands  about  as  it  did.” 

“  You  have  no  positive  proof  of  the  charge,  then  ?” 

a  No, — well, — that  is,  not  what  would  be  called  legal  proof, 
I  suppose.  The  circumstances  were  very  strong  against  Blake 
at  the  time,  but  being  all  in  the  neighborhood,  nobody  liked 
to  prosecute.  For  my  part,”  said  John  Harmon,  nobly,  “  I’d 
rather  suffer  wrong,  than  do  wrong,  and  I  preferred  to  lose 
the  twenty  dollars,  to  injuring  Blake’s  private  character.” 

The  Assistant  made  a  commendatory  remark  touching  this 
generous  sentiment,  and  passed  over  the  letter.  John  Har¬ 
mon  wiped  the  perspiration  from  his  brow,  and  felt  relieved. 
Whether  he  was  ashamed  to  confess  his  own  gross  carelessness 
in  the  matter,  and  the  injustice  of  his  charge,  or  whether — 
acting  on  the  principle  of  doing  evil  that  good  might  come 
from  it,  he  determined  to  make  the  most  of  every  point 
established  against  Blake,  without  regard  to  truth — does  not 
plainly  appear.  Wre  leave  the  affair  to  his  own  conscience. 
The  assistant  meanwhile  drew  Ames’  letter  out  of  the  “  case.” 
In  his  eagerness  to  grasp  it,  John  Hannon  dropped  it  upon 


v'"  -  ; 


,-v  — 


■  i 


. 

' 

. 


.  ' 


' 


fiKttiaL  ..  2  i 


■ 


- 


s* 


.1  t. 


A  RICH  SCENE, 


319 


the  floor.  As  he  stooped  to  take  it  up,  his  eye  caught  a 
glimpse  of  a  visitor  who  had  just  entered.  John  Harmon 
looked  at  the  visitor,  the  visitor  looked  at  John  Harmon. 
John  Harmon  looked  first  red,  then  white ;  the  visitor  looked 
first  very  white,  then  very  red.  The  delegate  was  the  first  to 
resume  his  self-possession. 

“Well,  friend  Ames,  how  do  you  do?”  said  he,  adroitly 
shifting  the  letter  from  his  right  hand  to  the  left,  and  giving 
the  former  to  the  “Honorable”  member. 

“  Very  well !  Capital !”  replied  Ames,  nervously.  “What’s 
the  news  ?” 

“Nothing  particular,”  said  John  Harmon,  with  a  grim 
smile,  sliding  the  letter  into  his  hat.  “  Fine  weather — Good 
deal  of  company  at  Washington,  I  find.” 

“  0  yes,  considerable  !”  Ames  rubbed  his  hands,  and  tried 
to  appear  at  ease.  “I  am  glad  to  see  you  here.  You  must 
go  up  to  the  House  with  me.  How  are  all  the  folks  at  home? 
How’s  Ilarrowfork  now-a-days?” 

John  Harmon  answered  these  questions  evasively. 

At  the  same  time,  the  Assistant’s  countenance  betrayed  an 
inward  appreciation  of  unspeakable  fun.  The  member’s  face 
grew  redder  still,  and  still  more  red.  The  truth .  is,  he  had 
that  morning  received  a  note  from  Blake  warning  him  of  Har¬ 
mon’s  journey  to  the  Capital,  and  had  just  left  his  seat  in  the 
House,  hastening  to  the  Department,  to  secure  the  fatal  letter 
before  it  betrayed  his  treachery. 

As  we  have  seen,  he  was  just  too  late. 

The  Assistant  took  pleasure  in  seating  the  two  visitors  side 
by  side  upon  the  same  sofa,  and  allowed  them  to  entertain 
each  other.  But  the  conversation  was  forced,  unnatural,  em¬ 
barrassing.  At  length  Ames,  resolved  upon  knowing  the 
worst,  plunged  desperately  into  the  all-important  subject. 

“I  suppose,”  said  he,  “you  don’t  entirely  get  over  the  ex¬ 
citement  at  home  about  the  post-office.” 

“  No,  we  don’t,”  replied  John  Harmon,  significantly;  “and 
that  ain’t  the  worst  of  it.”  Pie  bent  over  the  end  of  the  sofa, 


320 


THE  MEMBER  IN  A  “  FIX.” 


and  deliberately,  with  tlie  grimmest  sort  of  smile,  drew  from 
bis  bat  tbe  Honorable  member’s  private  note. 

“  And,  somehow,  it  don’t  strike  me,”  be  added,  glancing 
bis  eye  over  its  contents,  “  that  tbis  letter  of  yours  is  going  to 
lessen  tbe  excitement  very  materially.  I  suppose  you  know 
that  band- writing  ?” 

He  tbrust  tbe  letter  into  tbe  Honorable  member’s  face. 
Tbe  Honorable  member’s  face  flushed  more  fiery  than  before. 
He  stammered,  be  smiled,  he  rubbed  bis  handkerchief  in  bis 
bands,  and  upon  bis  brow. 

“My  dear  Harmon,”  said  be,  blandly,  “I  see  you  don’t 
fully  understand  tbis  business.” 

“  I’m  sure  I  don’t,”  cried  John  Harmon ;  “  and  I’d  like  to 
find  tbe  honest  man  who  does !  Didn’t  you  pledge  yourself 
to  use  your  influence,  if  elected,  to  have  Blake  removed  ?” 

“  Don’t  speak  so  loud !”  whispered  tbe  Honorable  member, 
who  didn’t  at  all  fancy  tbe  humorous  smile  on  tbe  Assistant’s 
face.  “It’s  all  right,  I  assure  you.  But  tbis  isn’t  exactly 
tbe  place  to  talk  over  tbe  affair.  Come  with  me  to  my  lodg¬ 
ings,  and  we’ll  discuss  tbe  matter.” 

Not  averse  to  discussion,  John  Harmon  consented  to  tbe 
proposal. 

“  I  beg  your  pardon,”  said  tbe  Assistant  Post  Master  Gene¬ 
ral,  “  but  that  paper, — I  cannot  suffer  that  to  be  removed.” 

It  was  tbe  fatal  letter.  John  Harmon  wanted  it;  the  Hon¬ 
orable  member  wanted  it  still  more  ;  but  tbe  Assistant  insist¬ 
ed,  and  tbe  document  was  left  behind. 

Now,  tbe  Honorable  member  was  in  what  is  commonly 
termed  a  “  fix.”  Like  too  many  such  politicians,  who,  never¬ 
theless,  as  Mark  Antony  says,  are  “all  honorable  men,”  be 
bad  found  it  convenient  to  adopt  tbe  “  good  Lord,  good  devil” 
policy,  using  two  oars  to  row  bis  boat  into  tbe  comfortable  ha¬ 
ven  of  public  office. 

Accordingly,  while  gently  drawing  figmative  wool  over  tbe 
visual  organs  of  the  radical  temperance  people,  be  bad  managed, 
at  the  same  time,  by  private  pledges,  to  conciliate  Atkins, 


AMICABLY  ARRANGED. 


321 


Blake  &  Company,  and  secure  the  silence  of  the  Goblet.  Once 
elected,  lie  did  not  fail  to  look  forward  to  a  future  election, 
in  view  of  which  he  considered  it  expedient  to  smile  upon  one 
faction  with  one  side  of  his  face,  and  grin  upon  the  opposition 
with  the  other. 

For  this  double-dealing,  honest,  honest  Iago, — we  mean 
honest  J ohn  Harmon — called  the  member  to  account. 

How  the  affair  was  settled  is  not  generally  known.  But  one 
thing  is  positive.  The  Honorable  member  and  the  delegate 
from  Harrowfork  suddenly  blossomed  into  excellent  and  endur¬ 
ing  friends;  and  not  long  after,  Mr.  John  Harmon  became 
the  occupant  of  a  snug  berth  at  the  seat  of  Government,  sup¬ 
posed  to  have  been  obtained  through  the  influence  of  the 
Honorable  member  from  his  District. 

u  How  about  Blake  and  the  post-office  ?”  inquired  Mr.  For¬ 
rester  Wilcox,  the  morning  he  left  Washington. 

“I’ve  concluded,”  replied  John  Harmon,  candidly,  “  that 
the  post-office  is  well  enough  as  it  is.  Blake  turns  out  to  be 
a  passable  kind  of  post  master  after  all,  and  I  don’t  really 
think  ’twill  be  worth  while  to  make  any  change  for  the  pre¬ 
sent.” 

And  this  was  the  answer  the  worthy  delegate  made  to  all 
persons,  who,  from  that  time  forward,  interrogated  him  on  the 
subject. 

Shortly  after,  his  very  Honorable  friend,  the  member  from 
his  District,  being  now  decidedly  averse  to  political  letter¬ 
writing,  went  home  on  a  flying  visit,  and  passing  through 
Harrowfork,  took  pains  to  make  himself  agreeable  to  all 
parties.  Among  other  nice  and  prudent  acts,  he  privately 
consulted  Blake.  The  post  master  listened  to  his  advice,  and 
immediately  on  the  member’s  return  to  Washington,  appointed 
as  an  assistant  in  his  office,  a  young  man  of  strict  temperance 
principles,  who  was  quite  popular  with  the  opposition,  and 
who  had  for  some  time  acted  as  Secretary  of  the  1  1  County 
Association  for  the  Suppression  of  Intemperance.” 


322 


THE  TEMPERANCE  'ASSISTANT. 


This  appointment  seemed  to  cast  oil  upon  the  troubled 
waters.  And  so  the  matter  rests  at  the  present  date. 

Ames  is  still  in  Congress )  John  Harmon  continues  to  enjoy 
his  comfortable  quarters  at  the  seat  of  Government.  Tim 
Blake  remains  the  efficient  post  master  of  Harrowfork,  with 
the  young  man  of  strict  temperance  principles  for  his  assist¬ 
ant  ;  and  Atkins  still  edits  the  Goblet. 

This  powerful  organ  has  of  late  regained  something  of  its 
former  popularity  and  patronage ;  but  whether  it  will  support 
Ames  at  the  next  Congressional  election,  depends  upon  Blake  j 
whether  Blake  retains  his  office,  depends  upon  Ames ;  whether 
Ames  maintains  his  position  and  influence  at  home,  depends 
in  a  very  great  measure  upon  honest  John  Harmon,  who,  like 
the  Ghost  in  Hamlet, 

“Could  a  tale  unfold,  whose  lightest  word  would  harrow  up” 

the  political  soil  of  Harrowfork,  in  a  manner  dangerous  to  the 
Constitution  and  the  Union. 


c 


\ 


CHAPTER  XXI. 


UNJUST  COMPLAINTS 

Infallibility  not  claimed — “Scape-Goats” — The  Man  of  Business 
Habits — Home  Scrutiny. 

A  Lady  in  Trouble — A  bold  Charge — A  wronged  Husband — Precipi¬ 
tate  Retreat. 

Complaints  of  a  Lawyer — Careless  Swearing — Wrong  Address — No 
Retraction. 

A  careless  Broker — The  Charge  repulsed — The  Apology — Mistake 
repeated — The  Affair  explained — A  comprehensive  Toast. 

Infallibility  is  not  claimed  by  tliose  connected  with  the 
Post-Office  Department,  and  it  cannot  be  denied  that  mistakes 
sometimes  occur  through  the  carelessness  or  incompetency  of 
some  clerk  or  other  official.  rfut  if  there  is  a  body  of  men 
who  perform  the  duties  of  scape-goats  more  frequently  than 
any  other,  those  men  are  post  masters,  and  post-office  clerks. 

Whoever  takes  this  responsible  station  with  the  expectation 
that  a  faithful  discharge  of  his  duty  will  protect  him  from  all 
suspicion  an  I  blame,  cherishes  a  pleasing  dream  that  may  at 
any  moment  be  dispelled  by  the  stupidity,  or  carelessness,  or 
rascality  of  any  one  among  the  many-headed  public,  whose 
servant  he  is. 

When  it  is  considered  that  in  the  selection  of  persons  to  fill 
the  important  office  of  post  master,  the  Department  makes 
every  effort  to  secure  the  services  of  competent  and  honest 

(323) 


324 


THE  MAN  OF  BUSINESS  HABITS. 


men,  and  that  they,  in  the  appointment  of  their  clerks,  gene¬ 
rally  endeavor  to  obtain  those  of  a  like  character,  it  may  rea¬ 
sonably  be  supposed  that  at  least  as  high  a  degree  of  accuracy 
and  integrity  can  usually  be  found  inside  of  post-office  walls, 
as  without  its  boundaries. 

I  cannot,  indeed,  claim  for  this  corps  of  officials  entire 
immaculacy.  Could  I  justly  do  so,  they  would  be  vastly  supe¬ 
rior  in  this  respect  to  mankind  at  large.  But  without  setting 
up  any  such  high  pretensions,  I  would  suggest  that  those  con¬ 
nected  with  the  post-office  receive  a  greater  share  of  blame  for 
failures  in  the  transmission  of  letters  than  justly  belongs  to 
them.  Many  people  seem  to  think  that  nobody  can  commit  a 
blunder,  or  be  guilty  of  dishonesty  in  matters  connected  with 
the  mails,  but  post  masters  or  their  employes. 

Acting  on  this  impression,  such  persons,  when  anything 
goes  wrong  in  their  correspondence,  do  not  stop  to  ascertain 
whether  the  fault  may  not  be  nearer  home,  but  at  once  make 
an  onslaught  upon  the  luckless  post-office  functionary  who  is 
supposed  to  be  the  guilty  one. 

The  investigation  of  some  such  unfounded  charges,  resulting 
in  placing  the  fault  where  it  belonged,  has  brought  to  light 
curious  and  surprising  facts,  respecting  the  atrocious  blunders 
sometimes  committed  by  the  most  accurate  and  methodical 
business  men.  Such  men  have  been  known  to  send  off  letters 
with  no  address,  or  a  wrong  one ;  and  even  (as  in  one  case 
which  will  be  found  in  this  chapter)  to  persist  in  attempting 
to  send  a  letter  wrongly  directed.  They  have  been  known  to 
mislay  letters,  and  then  to  be  ready  to  swear  that  they  had 
been  mailed.  The  blame  of  these  and  similar  inadvertencies 
has  been  laid,  of  course,  upon  somebody  connected  with  the 
post-office. 

Mr.  A.  is  a  man  of  business  habits ;  he  never  makes  such 
mistakes,  and  indignantly  repudiates  the  idea  that  anyone  in  his 
employ  could  be  thus  delinquent.  So  the  weight  of  his  cen¬ 
sure  falls  on  the  much-enduring  shoulders  of  a  post-office  clerk. 

Besides  the  class  of  cases  to  which  I  have  alluded,  which 


HOME  SCRUTINY. 


325 


arise  from  nothing  worse  than  carelessness  or  stupidity,  many 
instances  occur  in  which  the  attempt  is  made  by  dishonest 
persons  to  escape  detection,  by  throwing  the  blame  of  their 
villany  upon  post-office  employes.  Cases  like  the  following 
are  not  uncommon. 

A  merchant  sends  his  clerk  or  errand-boy  to  mail  a  letter 
containing  money.  This  messenger  rifles  it,  reseals  it,  and 
deposits  it  in  the  letter  box.  On  the  receipt  of  the  letter  by 
the  person  to  whom  it  is  addressed,  the  robbery  comes  to 
light ;  and,  as  the  merchant  is  naturally  slow  to  believe  in  the 
dishonesty  of  his  messenger,  he  at  once  jumps  at  the  conclu¬ 
sion  that  the  theft  was  committed  after  the  letter  entered  the 
post-office.  In  such  cases,  and  in  those  of  which  I  have  been 
speaking,  it  would  be  well  to  establish  the  rule  that  scrutiny, 
like  charity,  should  “  begin  at  home.” 

Letters  are  sometimes  mailed  purporting  to  contain  money 
for  the  payment  of  debts — when  in  fact  they  contain  none — 
with  the  intention  of  making  it  appear  that  they  have  been  robbed 
in  their  passage  through  the  mails.  In  short,  the  cases  are 
numberless  in  which,  through  inadvertence  or  design,  censure 
is  unjustly  thrown  upon  the  employes  of  the  post-office;  and 
the  investigations  of  this  class  of  cases  forms  no  unimportant 
branch  of  the  duties  of  a  Special  Agent. 

It  has  been  the  pleasing  duty  of  the  author,  in  not  a  few 
instances,  to  relieve  an  honest  and  capable  official  from  the 
lead  of  suspicion  with  which  he  was  burdened,  by  discovering, 
often  in  an  unexpected  quarter,  where  the  guilt  lay. 


THE  BITER  BIT. 

The  following  case,  which  might  properly  be  entitled  u  The 
Biter  Bit,”  displays  still  another  phase  of  the  subject  in  hand. 

A  lady  of  a  very  genteel  and  respectable  appearance,  called 
one  day  on  a  prominent  New  England  post  master,  with  a  letter 
in  her  hand,  which  she  insisted  had  been  broken  open  and 
28 


326 


A  LADY  IN  TROUBLE. 


resealcd.  She  handed  the  letter  to  the  post  master,  who 
examined  it,  and  appearances  certainly  seemed  to  justify  her 
assertion.  She  further  declared  that  she  well  knew  which 
clerk  in  the  office  had  broken  it  open,  and  that  he  had  pre¬ 
viously  served  several  of  her  letters  in  the  same  way.  Upon, 
hearing  this,  the  post  master  requested  her  to  walk  inside  the 
office,  and  point  out  the  person  whom  she  suspected. 

Such  an  unusual  phenomenon  as  the  appearance  of  a  lady 
inside  the  office,  produced,  as  may  be  supposed,  a  decided 
sensation  among  the  clerks  there  assembled.  Nor  was  the 
sensation  diminished  in  intensity  when  the  post  master  informed 
them,  that  the  lady  was  there  for  the  purpose  of  identifying 
the  person  who  had  been  guilty  of  breaking  open  her  letters  ! 

This  announcement  at  once  excited  the  liveliest  feelings  of 
curiosity  and  solicitude  in  the  mind  of  almost  every  one  pre¬ 
sent,  and  each  one,  conscious  of  innocence,  indulged  in  con¬ 
jectures  as  to  who  that  somebody  else  might  be,  whom  the 
accusing  Angel  (?)  was  to  fix  upon  as  the  culprit. 

All  their  conjectures  fell  wide  of  the  mark.  After  looking 
about  for  a  moment,  the  lady  pointed  out  the  last  man  whom 
any  one  in  the  office  would  have  suspected  of  such  an  offence 
— one  of  the  oldest  and  most  reliable  of  their  number. 

“  That  is  the  person,”  said  she,  indicating  him  by  a  slight 
nod  of  the  head )  u  and  if  he  persists  in  making  so  free  with 
my  letters,  I  will  certainly  have  him  arrested.  Why  my  letters 
should  always  be  selected  for  this  purpose,  I  cannot  imagine ; 
but  if  any  more  of  them  are  touched,  he  will  wish  he  had  let 
them  alone.” 

This  direct  charge,  and  these  threats,  produced  a  greater 
commotion  among  his  fellow  clerks,  than  in  the  mind  of  the 
gentleman  accused.  Waiting  for  a  moment  after  she  had 
spoken,  he  broke  the  breathless  silence  that  followed  her  words, 
by  saying  calmly, — 11  Mrs.  - ,  I  believe  ?” 

“  That  is  my  name,  sir.” 

u  Have  you  concluded  your  remarks,  madam  ?” 

u  I  have,  sir,  for  the  present.” 


A  WRONGED  HUSBAND. 


327 


u  Then,  madam,  I  will  take  tlie  liberty  to  inform  you  tbat 
your  husband  is  tbe  person  on  whom  you  ought  to  expend 
your  indignation.  He  has,  at  different  times,  taken  several 
of  your  letters  from  the  office,  opened  and  read  them,  and 
after  resealing,  returned  them  to  the  letter  box,  having  made 
certain  discoveries  in  those  letters,  to  which  he  forced  me  to 
listen,  as  furnishing  sufficient  ground  for  his  course,  and  jus¬ 
tifying  former  suspicions  !  He  earnestly  requested  me  never 
to  disclose  who  had  opened  the  letters,  and  I  should  have  con¬ 
tinued  to  observe  secrecy,  had  not  your  accusation  forced  me 
to  this  disclosure  in  self-defence.  If  you  wish  to  have  my 
statement  corroborated,  I  think  I  can  produce  a  reliable 
witness.” 

The  lady  did  not  reply  to  this  proposition,  but  made  a  pre¬ 
cipitate  retreat,  leaving  the  clerk  master  of  the  field,  and  was 
never  afterwards  seen  at  that  post-office. 


In  the  summer  of  1854,  among  the  complaints  of  missing 
letters  made  at  the  New  York  post-office,  was  one  referring  tc 
a  letter  written  by  a  young  lawyer  of  that  city,  directed  as 
was  claimed,  to  a  party  in  Newark,  N.  J.  Enclosed  was  the 
sum  of  twenty-five  dollars  in  bank-notes. 

The  writer  of  the  letter  was  annoyed  by  the  circumstance,  to 
an  unusual  degree,  and  caused  a  severe  notice  of  censure  upon 
the  Post-Office  Department,  to  be  inserted  in  one  of  the  lead¬ 
ing  New  York  journals.  A  formal  certificate  was  also  drawn 
up,  duly  sworn  to,  and  forwarded  to  Washington. 

It  read  as  follows  : — 

. 

State  of  New  York, 

City  and  County  of  New  York,  ss. 

Jolin  B.  C - ,  of  said  city,  Counsellor  at  Law,  being  duly  sworn, 

doth  depose  and  say  that  on  the  19th  day  of  July-instant,  he  enclosed 

the  sum  of  $25  in  a  letter  addressed  to  Capt.  John  M - ,  Newark, 

N.  J.,  and  deposited  the  same  in  the  post-office  in  the  city  of  New 
York.  That  the  said  enclosure  and  deposit  of  the  letter  was  made  in 


* 


328 


WRONG  ADDRESS. 


the  presence  of  one  of  the  principal  clerks  of  the  said  post-office, 
whose  attention  deponent  particularly  called  to  the  fact  at  the  time. 
That  deponent  is  informed^  and  believes  that  the  said  clerk’s  name  is 
John  Hallet. 

Sworn  before  me  this 

10th  day  of  August,  1854. 

(Signed)  Henry  H.  M - , 

Comr.  of  Deeds. 

The  complainant  was  visited  by  the  Special  Agent,  and  the 
bare  suggestion  that  the  failure  might  have  been  owing  to 
some  error  in  the  address  of  the  letter,  was  received  with 
much  indignation.  He  didn’t  do  business  in  that  way,  and 
the  post-office  and  its  clerks  couldn’t  cover  up  their  careless¬ 
ness  or  dishonesty,  by  any  such  inventions.  ( 

The  reader  ought  to  have  been  present  in  the  post  master’s 
rqpm,  some  few  months  subsequently,  when  this  infallible  (?) 
individual  called,  in  response  to  a  notice  that  his  letter  had 
been  returned  from  the  Dead  Letter  Office ! 

Secretary. — “  Good  morning,  Mr.  C - .” 

C. — “  Good  morning,  sir.  I  have  received  a  notice  to  call 
here  for  a  letter.” 

Secretary. — “  Yes,  sir,  that  is  the  one  referred  to,  (placing 
the  unlucky  missive  before  him).  Is  that  address  in  your 
hand- writing  ?” 

C. — “Why, — y-e-s,  it’s  mine  sure — I  couldn’t  dispute 
that.” 

Secretary. — “  It  seems  to  be  directed  to  Newburg,  N.  Y., 
instead  of  to  Newark,  N.  J.” 

C. — “  I  have  nothing,  to  say.  I  could  have  sworn  that  the 
address  was  correct.” 

Secretary. — “  You  did  so  swear,  I  believe.  Mistakes  will 
happen,  but  I  think  the  least  you  can  do,  will  be  to  retract 
the  article  you  published  censuring  us,  for  what  you  were 
yourself  to  blame.” 

The  amazed  limb  of  the  law  made  no  further  reply,  but  left 
the  office  gazing  intently  on  the  letter,  and  in  his  bewilder- 


A  CARELESS  BROKER. 


329 


ment  getting  tlie  wrong  door,  as  he  had  originally  got  the 
wrong  address  upon  the  letter. 

No  such  correction  was  ever  made,  however,  and  like 
hundreds  of  similar  faults,  for  which  others  are  alone  responsi¬ 
ble,  the  charge  yet  stands  against  the  Post-Office  Department, 
and  those  in  its  employ. 


Some  years  since,  a  letter  containing  drafts  and  other 
remittances  to  a  considerable  amount,  was  deposited  in  the 
New  York  office,  to  be  transmitted  by  mail,  having  been 
directed  (as  was  supposed)  to  a  large  firm  in  Philadelphia. 
This  letter  would  pass  through  the  hands  of  a  clerk,  whose 
duty  it  was  to  separate  all  those  deposited  in  the  letter  box, 
and  arrange  them  according  to  their  respective  destinations. 
He  discovered  that  it  was  directed  to  New  York ,  yet  though 
he  had  heard  of  the  firm  to  which  it  was  addressed,  he  thought 
it  might  have  been  so  directed  for  some  particular  purpose, 
and  accordingly  placed  it  in  the  u  alphabet,”  for  delivery  to 
the  proper  claimant.  On  the  day  after  this,  Mr.  D.,  of  the 
firm  of  D.  &  A.,  well  known  brokers  in  Wall  Street,  called  at 
the  office  and  stated  that  his  clerk  had  deposited  such  a  letter 
to  be  mailed  in  time  to  go  to  Philadelphia  the  same  day,  but 
that  he  had  been  advised  that  it  had  not  been  received. 

The  clerk  in  attendance  was  somewhat  perplexed  by  this 
statement,  but  suggested  the  probability  that  his  clerk,  in  the 
hurry  of  business,  had  directed  it  wrong. 

Mr.  D.  replied  that  this  could  not  be,  for  he  saw  all  his 
letters  before  they  were  confided  to  the  charge  of  his  clerk, 
and  as  the  one  in  question  had  not  been  received,  it  must 
have  been  mailed  incorrectly  through  the  ignorance  or  care¬ 
lessness  of  the  clerk  assigned  to  that  duty ;  and  indeed  went 
so  far  as  to  intimate  that  it  might  have  been  detained  pur¬ 
posely.  This  insulting  remark  induced  the  post-office  clerk  to 
express  his  perfect  indifference  concerning  such  a  groundless 
conjecture,  and  to  state,  as  his  opinion,  that  the  charge  of 
28* 


330 


THE  APOLOGY. 


ignorance,  carelessness,  or  sinister  design,  would  eventually  be 
found  to  rest  on  the  shoulders  of  Mr.  D.  or  his  clerks. 

Against  this  turning  of  the  tables,  that  gentleman  indig¬ 
nantly  protested,  and  the  post  master,  who  overheard  the 
altercation,  appeared  vexed  and  displeased  at  the  supposed 
delinquency  of  his  clerk.  A  general  search  was  commenced 
in  the  office,  in  order,  if  possible,  to  settle  the  disputed  point. 
In  the  course  of  this  investigation,  the  “  pigeon-hole”  de¬ 
signed  for  letters  corresponding  with  such  a  name  as  that  of 
the  Philadelphia  firm,  was  examined,  and  the  letter  in  ques¬ 
tion  was  found,  directed  “New  York,”  instead  of  “Phila¬ 
delphia.” 

Upon  this  being  known,  Mr.  D.  made  many  apologies, 
begged  to  be  exonerated  from  all  intention  to  charge  crimi¬ 
nality  upon  any  one,  took  his  letter  and  retired,  much  discon¬ 
certed  and  chagrined. 

He  went  to  his  office  and  poured  out  sundry  vials  of  wrath 
upon  the  head  of  his  luckless  clerk,  to  whom  he  attributed  the 
atrocious  blunder  which  had  been  committed.  The  affair, 
however,  did  not  end  here. 

On  the  following  day  a  letter  was  deposited  in  the  post- 
office,  at  about  one  o’clock,  in  time  for  the  Philadelphia  mail, 
directed  precisely  as  before  !  viz.  addressed  to  the  Philadelphia 
firm,  but  directed  “New  York,”  and  happened  to  fall  under 
the  eye  of  the  clerk  who  had  been  cognisant  of  the  error  of  the 
day  previous. "  This  second  instance  of  gross  inadvertence,  or 
something  worse,  on  the  part  of  somebody,  was  rather  too 
much  for  the  equanimity  of  the  post  master,  who  at  once  sent 
for  Mr.  D.,  and  showed  him  the  letter,  which  seemed  as  if  it 
was  under  the  influence  of  some  mischievous  enchanter.  As 
the  words  “New  York,”  in  the  superscription,  stared  D.  in 
the  face,  he  in  turn  became  enraged,  and  was  about  to  leave 
the  office  with  the  fell  design  of  discharging  his  clerk  instantcr. 
The  post  master  then  requested  him,  before  he  left,  to  sit 
down  and  alter  the  direction  of  the  letter  from  “  New  York” 


THE  AFFAIR  EXPLAINED. 


331 


to  u  Philadelphia,”  which  he  did.  The  letter  was  mailed 
accordingly,  and  duly  received. 

A  few  days  afterwards,  the  post-office  clerk  met  Mr.  D.,  and 
said  to  him,  “  I  suppose  you  have  turned  off  your  clerk  for  his 
mismanagement  in  relation  to  the  letter  about  which  so  much 
trouble  was  made  in  our  office.” 

u  Ah  !”  replied  he,  u  I  believe  I  shall  have  to  confess  that 
/was  the  only  one  to  blame  in  the  matter.  My  clerk  was 
perfectly  innocent.  On  returning  home  with  the  letter,  I  laid 
it  down  with  the  intention  of  having  the  mistake  in  the  direc¬ 
tion  rectified,  but  having  something  else  to  call  off  my  attention 
just  then,  it  was  mixed  with  the  letters  for  city  delivery,  and 
was  taken  to  the  office  with  them  by  my  clerk.” 

Thus  all  this  trouble  and  vexation  was  caused  by  the  care¬ 
lessness  of  a  man  who  was  accustomed  to  system  and  accuracy 
in  the  transaction  of  his  business;  and  the  above  related  facts 
may  lead  even  persons  of  this  description  not  to  be  too  con¬ 
fident  of  their  own  freedom  from  error,  when  any  mistake  like 
that  just  mentioned  occurs. 

I  can  give  no  better  summary  of  the  whole  subject  under 
consideration,  than  that  which  is  found  in  some  remarks  made 
by  Robert  II.  Morris,  Esq.,  on  the  occasion  of  his  retirement 
from  the  office  of  post  master  of  New  York,  in  May,  1849,  at 
a  dinner  prepared  for  the  occasion. 

During  the  evening  Mr.  Morris  said, 

“  Gentlemen,  please  fill  your  glasses  for  a  toast.  As  I 
intend  to  toast  a  man  you  may  not  know,  I  deem  it  necessary, 
before  mentioning  his  name,  to  tell  you  what  sort  of  a  man 
he  is. 

u  He  rises  at  4  o’clock  in  the  morning  and  works  assiduously 
during  the  whole  day,  until  7  o’clock  in  the  evening — goes 
wearied  to  bed,  to  rise  again  at  4  o’clock,  and  again  to  work 
assiduously. 

u  If  the  gentlemen  of  the  press — and  there  are  some  among 
us — incorrectly  direct  their  newspapers  for  subscribers,  it  is 


332 


A  COMPREHENSIVE  TOAST. 


f 

the  fault  of  the  man  I  intend  to  toast,  if  the  papers  do  not 
reach  those  to  whom  they  should  have  been  addressed. 

“  If  a  publishing  clerk  omits  to  address  a  newspaper  to  a 
subscriber,  it  is  the  fault  of  the  man  I  intend  to  toast  that  the 
subscriber  does  not  get  his  paper. 

“  If  a  man  writes  a  letter  and  seals  it,  and  neglects  to  put  any 
address  upon  it,  it  is  the  fault  of  the  man  I  will  toast,  if  the 
letter  does  not  reach  the  person  for  whom  it  was  intended. 

a  If  an  officer  of  a  bank  addresses  a  letter  to  Boston  instead 
of  New  Orleans,  it  is  the  fault  of  the  man  I  shall  presently 
toast,  if  the  letter  is  not  received  at  New  Orleans. 

“If  a  merchant’s  clerk  puts  a  letter  in  his  overcoat,  and 
leaves  that  coat  at  his  boarding-house,  with  the  letter  in  his 
pocket,  the  man  I  will  toast  is  to  blame  because  the  letter 
has  not  reached  its  destination. 

11  If  a  merchant  shuts  up  a  letter  he  has  written,  between 
the  leaves  of  his  ledger,  and  locks  that  ledger  in  his  safe,  the 
man  I  will  toast  has  caused  the  non-reception  of  that  letter. 

“  If  a  poor  debtor  has  no  money  to  pay  his  dunning  creditor, 
and  writes  a  letter  that  he  encloses  fifty  dollars,  but  encloses  no 
money,  having  none  to  enclose,  the  man  I  will  toast  has  stolen 
the  money. 

“  If  a  good ,  warm-hearted,  true  friend,  receives  a  letter 
from  a  dear  (?)  but  poor  friend,  asking  the  loan  of  five  dollars ; 
and,  desiring  to  be  considered  a  good,  warm-hearted,  true 
friend,  and  at  the  same  time  to  save  his  five  dollars,  writes  a 
letter  saying  1  dear  friend,  I  enclose  to  you  the  five  dollars,’ 
but  only  wafers  into  the  letter  a  small  corner  of  the  bill, — the 
man  I  will  toast  has  stolen  the  five  dollars  out  of  the  letter, 
and  in  pulling  it  out,  tore  the  bill. 

“  If  a  rail-road-bridge  is  torn  down  or  the  draw  left  open,  and 
the  locomotive  is  not  able  to  jump  the  gap,  but  drops  into  the 
river  with  the  mail,  the  man  I  will  toast  has  caused  the  failure 
of  the  mail. 

“  This,  gentlemen,  is  the  stranger  to  you,  whom  I  will  tonst. 
I  give  you,  gentlemen— A  Post-Office  Clerk  !” 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


PRACTICAL,  ANECDOTAL,  ETC. 

The  wrong  Address — Odd  Names  of  Post-Offices — The  Post-Office  a 
Detector  of  Crime — Suing  the  British  Government — Pursuit  of  a 
Letter  Box — An  “Extra”  Customer — To  my  Grandmother — Im¬ 
proper  Interference — The  Dead  Letter — Sharp  Correspondence — 
The  Irish  Heart — My  Wife’s  Sister. 

Giving  the  wrong  State  in  an  address,  is  a  disease  as  common 
among  letters,  as  hydrophobia  among  dogs.  A  draper’s  clerk 

in  C - sent  a  remittance  to  Boston  which  did  not  arrive 

there.  The  draper  was  obliged  to  send  the  amount  (three 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars)  again,  which  he  did  personally,  to 
prevent  mistakes.  This  too  failed  to  arrive,  but  the  first  was 
soon  received  by  him  from  the  Dead  Letter  Office,  having 
died  at  Boston  in  New  York,  instead  of  Massachusetts  !  The 
merchant  drank  gunpowder-tea,  and  gave  his  clerk  a  “  blowing 
up.’7  The  latter  person,  however,  was  in  some  sort  avenged, 
not  long  after,  for  Coroner  John  Marron  reported  that  the 
second  letter,  written  and  mailed  by  the  merchant  himself, 
had  died  of  the  same  disease  that  carried  off  the  first,  and 
forwarded  the  body  to  him. 

It  should  here  be  mentioned,  for  the  benefit  of  the  uniniti¬ 
ated,  that  the  gentleman  referred  to,  is  the  Third  Assistant 
Post  Master  General,  embracing  the  Superintendence  of  the 
Dead  Letter  Office.  His  duties  may  be  considered  as  in  some 
respects  analogous  to  those  of  a  Coroner,  as  he,  or  those  in  his 

(333) 


334 


ODD  NAMES  OF  POST-OFFICES. 


bureau,  in  tlie  case  of  defunct  money  letters,  ascertain  tlie 
causes  of  death,  and  send  the  remains  to  surviving  friends. 

The  omission  of  the  name  of  the  State  from  the  address  of 
a  letter,  often  causes  much  uncertainty  in  its  motions. 

There  are,  for  instance,  seven  Philadelphias  besides  the  one 
in  Pennsylvania,  twenty-three  Salems,  as  many  Troys,  and  no 
end  of  Washingtons,  Jeffersons,  and  other  names  distinguished 
in  the  history  of  the  country. 

There  are  three  New  Yorks,  and  eleven  Bostons.  Indeed 
the  majority  of  the  names  of  the  post-offices  are  at  least 
duplicated,  and  often  repeated  many  times,  as  we  could  easily 
show ;  but  two  or  three  more  specimens  of  this  will  suffice. 
Twenty-three  Franklins,  twenty  Jacksons,  and  sixteen  Madi¬ 
sons,  will  help  to  perpetuate  the  memories  of  the  distinguished 
men  who  once  bore  those  names. 

The  danger  of  a  letter's  miscarrying  in  consequence  of  the 
omission  of  the  name  of  the  State  on  its  direction,  is  of  course 
reduced  to  nothing,  when  there  is  no  other  post-office  in  the 
country  with  the  same  name  as  the  one  addressed,  especially 
if  there  is  any  oddity  about  the  name.  Thus,  were  we  to 
direct  a  letter  to  “  Sopclioppy,"  it  would  be  likely  to  find  the 
place  rejoicing  in  that  euphonious  title,  even  were  the  State 
(Florida)  omitted  in  the  address;  although  it  would  often 
involve  the  trouble  of  consulting  the  list  of  post-offices. 
“Sorrel  Horse,"  also,  could  not  fail  to  receive  whatever  might 
be  sent  to  it. 

A  teetotaler  would  not  be  surprised  to  find  “  Sodom"  in 
tl  Champaign  County;"  and  while  on  this  subject  we  would 
say  that  temperance  views  seem  to  have  prevailed  in  naming 
post-offices.  We  have  two  named  Temperance,  and  three 
Temperancevilles,  to  balance  which,  besides  the  above  Sodom, 
there  appear  only  “  Grin  Town,"  and  “  Brandy  Station,"  one 
of  each. 

One  given  to  speculation  on  such  matters,  would  be  curious 
to  know  what  must  be  the  state  of  society  in  “  Tight  Squeeze." 
Is  the  u  squeeze"  commercial  or  geographical  ?  Do  hard  times 


THE  POST-OFFICE  A  DETECTOR  OF  CRIME. 


335 


prevail  there  as  a  general  thing,  or  is  there  some  narrow  pass, 
leading  to  the  place,  which  has  originated  the  name  ?  There 
maybe  some  tradition  connected  with  the  subject;  at  least  a 
moderately  lively  fancy  might  make  something  even  of  such 
an  unpromising  subject  as  “  Tight  Squeeze.” 

Far  different  must  be  the  condition  of  things  in  u  Pay 
Down.”  This  favored  place  is  doubtless  eschewed  by  advo¬ 
cates  of  the  credit  system,  and  here  Cash  must  reign  tri¬ 
umphant. 

Some  villages  seem  to  aspire  to  astronomical  honors.  There 
are  in  our  social  firmament,  one  Sun,  one  Moon,  and  two 
Stars;  also  one  Eclipse,  and  a  Transit,  whether  of  Yenus  or 
not  is  unknown.  So  it  appears  that  the  a  man  in  the  Moon,” 
is  not  altogether  a  fictitious  character,  but  may  be  a  post 
master. 

The  twenty-five  thousand  names  contained  in  the  list  of  post- 
offices  would  furnish  many  other  curiosities  as  noticeable  as 
those  just  cited,  and  we  refer  those  who  are  desirous  of  enter¬ 
ing  more  largely  into  the  subject,  to  that  work. 

It  is  sufficient  for  us  to  have  called  the  attention  of  the 
public  to  the  necessity  of  exactness  and  sufficient  fulness  in 
the  address  of  letters,  to  insure  their  delivery  at  the  place 
where  they  are  intended  to  go.  Much  vexation  and  real  in¬ 
convenience  would  be  obviated,  if  more  care  were  exercised  in 
this  respect,  and  the  Dead  Letter  Office  would  have  fewer 
inquests  to  make. 


THE  POST-OFFICE  AS  A  DETECTOR  OF  CRIME. 

The  mails,  as  we  have  seen,  afford  facilities  to  the  rogue 
for  carrying  out  his  designs  as  well  as  to  the  honest  man  in 
the  prosecution  of  his  business.  But  the  post-office  has  been 
made,  accidentally  or  purposely,  the  instrument  of  bringing 
to  light  criminals  who  had  hitherto  remained  undetected ;  and 
whose  deeds  had  no  such  connection  with  the  mails  as  those 
which  have  thus  far  been  described  in  this  work. 


i 


836  SUING  THE  BRITISH  GOVERNMENT. 

A  striking  instance  of  this  has  been  kindly  furnished  me 
by  the  Cincinnati  Post  Master,  relating  to  a  case  which  has 
excited  the  horror  of  the  whole  country.  I  refer  to  the 
Arrison  case,  most  of  the  circumstances  of  which  are  doubt¬ 
less  familiar  to  my  readers. 

It  will  be  recollected  that  the  man  Arrison  was  guilty  of 
murdering  the  steward  of  the  Cincinnati  Hospital,  and  his 
wife,  by  means  of  a  box,  containing  explosive  materials,  which 
took  fire  by  the  action  of  opening  it.  Arrison  immediately 
absconded,  and  his  place  of  retreat  remained  undiscovered  for 
some  time ;  but  he  was  destined  to  be  betrayed  by  a  chain  of 
circumstances,  hanging  upon  an  accident  of  the  most  trifling 
description. 

A  letter  came  to  the  Cincinnati  office  from  Muscatine,  Iowa, 
addressed  to  u  P.  F.  Willard,  Cincinnati,  Ohio.”  The  Mus¬ 
catine  postmark  was  so  placed  as  to  cover  the  P.  in  the  address 
in  such  a  manner  as  to  make  it  resemble  a  C.  There  being  a 
young  lawyer  in  the  place  by  the  name  of  C.  F.  Willard,  the 
letter  was  very  naturally  placed  in  his  box.  Upon  opening 
and  reading  the  document,  he  found  that  its  contents  were  of 
the  most  mysterious  character,  and  totally  incomprehensible. 
Finding  thus  that  it  was  not  intended  for  him,  he  very  pro¬ 
perly  returned  it  to  the  office  with  the  request  that  it  should 
be  handed  to  the  post  master.  This  gentleman  calling  to 
mind  the  circumstances  of  the  Arrison  case,  and  being 
familiar  with  some  of  the  names  connected  therewith,  came 
to  the  conclusion,  after  reading  the  letter,  that  Arrison  was 
the  writer,  and  thereupon  gave  the  information  which  led  to 
his  discovery  and  arrest. 


SUING  THE  BRITISH  GOVERNMENT. 

A  clerk  stationed  at  the  u  General  Delivery”  window  of 
the  post-office,  dispensing  epistolary  favors  to  the  impatient 
throng  without,  was  suddenly  confronted  by  a  countenance 


I 


PURSUIT  OF  A  LETTER  BOX. 


337 


flaming  with  wrath ;  which  countenance  was  part  and  parcel  of 
the  individual,  now  first  known  to  fame  by  the  name  of  Mike 
Donovan,  who  had  elbowed  his  way  through  the  crowd,  and 
now  stood  before  the  astonished  official,  demanding  justice. 
Handing  him  a  foreign  letter,  marked  “24  cents,”  Mike 
exclaimed  in  a  tone  of  righteous  indignation, 

“  Here,  sir,  is  a  letther  that  I  paid  twinty-four  cints  for, 
out  of  me  own  pocket,  and  the  letther  is  from  Pat  Cosgrove, 
me  cousin  in  ould  Ireland,  and  Pat  is  as  honest  a  boy  as  iver 
saw  daylight,  and  Pat,  he  says  inside  of  the  letther  that  he 
paid  the  postage,  and  so  some  raskill  has  chated  me,  and  I 
mane  to  make  him  smart  for’t;  and  Pd  be  obleiged  to  ye  if 
ye’d  tell  me  who  to  sue.  Bedad,  it  isn’t  me  that’s  goin  to  put 
up  wicbsuch  rashcality.” 

Here  he  brought  down  his  shillalah  on  the  floor,  to  the 
imminent  danger  of  his  neighbor’s  toes,  with  an  emphasis 
strongly  suggestive  of  his  fixed  determination  to  exact  the 
uttermost  farthing  from  his  unknown  defrauder. 

The  clerk  informed  him  if  any  mistake  had  occurred,  the 
British  Government  was  the  delinquent,  and  therefore  the 
party  to  be  sued. 

“  Is  it  the  British  Government  V 1  inquired  Pat. 

“  Certainly,”  was  the  reply,  “  that’s  where  you  must  look 
for  your  twenty-four  cents.” 

Mike  settled  his  hat  over  his  eyes,  and  walked  out  of  the 
office  with  an  air  of  defiance  to  the  world  in  general,  and  the 
British  Government  in  particular. 


PURSUIT  OF  A  LETTER  BOX. 

Timothy  Boyle,  entering  the  post-office  one  morning,  and 
perceiving  a  clerk  “  taking  a  limited  view  of  society”  through 
the  aperture  technically  called  “  general  delivery,”  naturally 
supposed  that  the  duties  of  this  functionary  included  receiving 
as  well  as  delivering,  and  accordingly  handed  him  a  letter 
29 


338 


THE  TAILOR’S  SHOP. 

adorned  with  the  lineaments  of  the  Father  of  his  Country, 
(not  Tim’s,)  and  bearing  upon  its  exterior  this  general  exhort¬ 
ation  to  all  whom  it  might  concern, — “  With  spede.” 

The  clerk  directed  Tim  to  deposit  the  document  in  the 
letter  box. 

u  And  where  is  the  letther  box  ?” 

u  Follow  this  railing,”  said  the  young  man,  “  and  you  will 
find  it  round  the  corner ;”  meaning  thereby  the  corner  of  the 
tier  of  boxes,  which  was  surrounded  by  a  neat  railing. 

On  the  strength  of  these  instructions,  Tim  turned  on  his 
heel,  dashed  into  the  main  street,  (“with  spede,”  as  per 
letter,)  and  walked  on  vigorously  till  he  arrived  at  a  corner, 
which  happened  to  be  occupied  as  a  tailor’s  shop. 

“  I  want  to  put  this  letther  in  the  box,”  said  Tim,  after 
looking  about  him  in  vain  for  any  sign  of  such  a  receptacle. 

“What  box?”  asked  the  tailor. 

“  What  box  would  I  put  it  in  but  the  letther  box  ?”  replied 
Tim. 

“  Who  sent  you  here  after  a  letter  box  ?”  said  the  tailor ; 
u  you  must  be  a  natural  fool  to  suppose  that  we  have  any  such 
thing  here.” 

“Natheral  fule  or  not,  sir,  I  was  towld  by  the  dark  at  the 
post-office  that  I’d  find  the  box  round  the  corner,  and  shure 
this  is  a  corner  I’ve  come  to,  and  if  it  isn’t  here,  I  don’t  know 
where  I’ll  find  it.” 

“  You’d  better  go  back  to  the  post-office,”  said  the  tailor, 
“  and  see  whether  the  clerk  can  make  you  understand  where 
to  put  your  letter.” 

So  the  unlucky  Tim  left  the  tailor’s  shop  with  the  impres¬ 
sion  that  he  had  been  made  a  goose  of  by  the  post-office  clerk, 
and  by  “  nursing  his  wrath  to  keep  it  warm,”  he  succeeded  in 
bringing  it  to  the  boiling  point,  by  the  time  that  he  again 
entered  the  office. 

“  And  it’s  a  purty  thrick  ye’ve  bin  a  playin’  me,  Misthur 
Clark,”  he  vociferated,  “  sendin’  me  to  a  tailor’s  shop  for  a 


AN  “extra’'  customer.  339 

.etther  box !  Bad  luck  to  ye,  wbat  for  did  ye  put  me  to  all 
this  throuble  ?” 

The  clerk  blandly  explained  to  Mr.  Boyle  that  the  “throuble” 
was  caused  by  his  own  impetuosity,  not  to  say  stupidity,  and 
finally  succeeded  in  describing  the-  locality  of  the  letter  box 
in  such  a  lucid  manner,  that  even  Tim  was  guided  by  his 
direction  to  the  much  desired  spot,  and  it  is  to  be  hoped  that 
the  letter  in  question  underwent  no  more  such  vicissitudes, 
before  it  reached  its  destination. 


AN  “EXTRA”  CUSTOMER. 

An  Irish  dame  entered  the  post-office  at  - - ,  and  walking 

up  to  the  post  master  with  a  letter  in  one  hand,  and  a  three 
cent  piece  in  the  other,  she  committed  them  both  to  his 
charge,  inquiring,  “  will  the  letther  go  ?” 

“  Certainly  it  will,”  was  the  reply. 

“  But  is  it  in  time  for  the  extra  ?” 

“  In  time  for  the  ivhat  ?”  asked  the  mystified  post  master. 

“Is  this  letther  in  time  for  the  extra ?”  repeated  the 
woman. 

“  What  do  you  mean  by  extra,”  rejoined  the  official. 

“I  mane,  is  the  baggage  put  up?”  replied  the  persevering 
questioner. 

The  post  master,  seeing  that  the  good  woman  was  so 
thoroughly  posted  up  in  all  the  details  of  letter-sending,  in¬ 
formed  her  categorically  that  the  letter  would  go>  inasmuch 
as  it  was  in  time  for  the  “  extra,”  and  the  “baggage”  was  not 
“  put  up.”  *■*  _ 

Hereupon  the  inquisitive  lady,  having  been  fully  satisfied 
in  her  own  mind  that  the  epistle  would  not  fail  of  the  “  extra,” 
sailed  out  of  the  office  a  happier,  if  not  a  wiser  woman. 


340 


TO  MY  GRANDMOTHER. 


TO  MY  GRANDMOTHER. 

A  little  bright  eyed,  flaxen-haired  boy,  was  one  day  observed 
to  enter  the  vestibule  of  the  post-office  at  Washington,  with  a 
letter  in  his  hand,  and  to  wait  very  modestly  for  the  departure 
of  the  crowd  collected  about  the  delivery  window.  As  soon 
as  the  place  was  cleared,  he  approached  the  letter  box  and 
carefully  deposited  his  epistle  therein,  lingering  near  as  if  to 
watch  over  the  safety  of  the  precious  document.  His  motions 
attracted  the  attention  of  the  clerk  stationed  at  the  window, 
whose  curiosity  induced  him  to  examine  the  superscription  of 
the  letter  just  deposited  by  the  little  fellow.  The  address  on 
the  letter  was  simply,  “  To  my  dear  Grandmother,  Louisiana/7 
doubtless  some  good  old  lady,  whose  memory,  in  the  mind  of 
her  innocent  grandchild,  was  redolent  of  cake  and  candy, 
a. id  all  the  various  “  goodies’7  which  grandmothers  are  generally 
so  ready  to  supply,  to  say  nothing  of  the  various  well  meant 
offices  of  kindness,  to  which  their  sometimes  blind  affection 
prompts  them.  “  Look  here,  my  little  man,77  said  the  clerk, 
“  what  is  your  grandmother’s  name,  and  where  does  she  live  ?” 

“  Why,  she’s  my  grandma,  and  she  lives  in  Louisiana.77 

“  Yes,  I  see  that  on  the  letter,  but  it  will  never  get  to  her 
if  her  name  isn’t  put  on,  and  the  place  where  she  lives.” 

“Well,  please  put  it  on,  sir.” 

“  But  I  shall  not  know  what  her  name  is,  unless  you  tell 
me.” 

“  Why,  sir,  she’s  my  grandma, — don’t  you  know  her  ?  She 
used  to  live  at  my  house.” 

After  the  display  of  considerable  ingenuity  on  the  part  of 
the  clerk,  and  a  good  deal  of  innocent  evasion  by  the  child, 
the  old  lady’s  name  and  place  of  residence  were  finally  ascer¬ 
tained,  and  added  to  the  address ;  after  which  the  little  one 
went  on  his  way,  rejoicing  in  the  assurance  given  by  the  clerk 
that  now  his  “  dear  grandmother”  would  certainly  receive  the 
important  epistle  from  her  darling. 


THE  DEAD  LETTER. 


34j 


IMPROPER  INTERFERENCE. 

A  letter  was  once  sent  from  the  Dead  Letter  Office  at 
W ashington,  containing  rail  road  scrip  to  a  considerable 
amount.  The  letter  had  been  mailed  in  a  Southern  town,  and 
miscarried,  and  it  was  returned  to  the  post  master  of  that 
town  for  delivery  to  the  writer.  It  so  happened  that  the 
writer  of  the  epistle  had  failed  in  business,  and  on  the  arrival 
of  the  letter  the  post  master  informed  one  of  his  creditors, 
and  an  attachment  was  laid  on  the  letter  by  the  Sheriff. 

The  writer  reported  the  case  to  the  Department,  when  a 
peremptory  order  was  sent  requiring  the  post  master  to  return 
the  letter  at  once  to  the  Dead  Letter  Office  at  Washington. 
It  was  sent,  and  the  return  mail  brought  the  post  master’s 
dismissal  from  office  and  the  appointment  of  his  successor. 

The  post-office  was  worth  $1200  a  year,  and  the  discharged 
post  master  had  abundance  of  time  to  count  up  the  profits 
that  might  have  been  made  by  acting  up  to  the  good  old  rule. 
u  Let  every  man  mind  his  own  business.” 


THE  DEAD  LETTER. 

The  following  is  contributed  by  “Dave,”  of  the  Columbus 
(Ohio)  post-office. 

During  my  term  of  service  at  the  General  Delivery  of  this 
office,  it  was  my  custom,  upon  receiving  dead  letters  from 
Washington  City,  to  make  a  list  of  the  names  of  the  persons 
to  whom  they  were  addressed,  and  stick  it  up  in  the  lobby  of 
the  office,  with  a  notice,  “  Call  for  Dead  Letters.” 

One  day  an  elaborate  specimen  of  Erin’s  sons,  whose  brawny 
fist  and  broad  shoulders  seemed  to  denote  a  construction  with 
an  eye  single  to  American  rail  roads,  lounged  into  the  office, 
and  up  to  the  board  containing  the  aforesaid  list.  He  looked 
at  it  a  moment  and  burst  into  tears.  I  spoke  to  him  through 
the  window,  and  asked  him  what  was  the  matter. 

29* 


34*2 


MICHAEL  FLAHERTY. 


“  Oli !  Mr.  Post  Master,  I  see  ye  have  a  daid  letther  for  me. 
I  spect  me  sester  in  Ireland’s  daid,  and  it’s  not  a  wake  since  I 
sint  her  a  tin  pound  note  to  come  to  Ameriky  wid — and  kin 
ye  tell  me  how  long  she’s  bin  daid,  Mr.  Post  Master  V 

I  asked  him  his  name,  found  the  “  letther,”  and  after  a 
request,  from  him  to  “rade  it,  sir,  and  rade  it  aisy  if  you 
plaze,”  opened  it  and  told  him  not  to  cry ;  that  his  sister  was 
not  dead,  but  that  it  was  a  letter  written  by  himself  and  directed 
to  Michael  Flaherty ,  Boston,  Chicago. 

“  And  is  Michael  daid,  Mr.  Post  Master  ?” 

“No,  I  guess  not,”  said  I. 

“Well,  who  is  daid,  sir?” 

I  explained  to  him  that  letters  not  taken  from  the  office  to 
which  they  were  addressed  within  a  certain  time,  were  sent  to 
what  was  called  the  Dead  Letter  Office  at  Washington  City, 
and  from  thence,  if  containing  anything  valuable,  to  the  per¬ 
sons  who  wrote  them. 

“  G-od  bliss  ye  for  that,  sir,  but  Michael  lives  in  Chicaga.” 

I  told  him  I  would  not  dispute  that,  but  Boston  and  Chicago 
were  two  distinct  cities,  and  the  letter  was  addressed  to  both, 
and  that  Boston  being  the  first  named,  it  had  been  retained 
there,  and  his  friend  had  not  received  it. 

“  Sure  and  I  thought  Boston  was  in  Chicaga !  and  that’s 
what  ye  call  a  daid  letther,  * ,  it  ?  Faith  and  I  thought  it  was 
Bridget  and  not  the  letther,  was  daid.  Ye  see,  Mr.  Post 
Master,  Michael  he  writ  home  to  the  ould  folks  that  he  lived 
in  Chicaga,  that  he  had  married  a  nice  American  lady,  that 
she  was  a  sea-cook  on  a  stameboat,  and  that  ;hey  called  her  a 
nager.  So  whin  I  started  for  Ameriky,  the  ould  modder, 
Michael’s  modder,  she  give  me  these  illegant  rings  (the  letter 
contained  a  pair  of  ear-rings,)  to  give  Michael’s  wife  for  a 
prisint.  When  we  landed  at  Boston,  I  wrote  Michael  the 
letther,  tould  him  I  was  going  to  Columbus  to  live,  put  on  the 
name— Michael  Flaherty,  Boston,  Chicaga,  a  ad  put  it  in  the 
post, — and-  sure  here  it  is,  and  Michael’s  sea-cook  nager 


SHARP  CORRESPONDENCE.  343 

niver  got  it.  Bad  luck  to  the  ship  that  fetched  me  to  Boston, 
Mr.  Post  Master.” 

After  offering  to  “trate  me  for  the  trouble”  he  had  caused 
me,  he  left,  and  ever  after,  when  he  mailed  a  letter  he  brought 
it  to  me  to  put  on  the  address,  u  Because  he  didn’t  understand 
these  daid  letthers.” 


SHARP  CORRESPONDENCE. 

One  of  the  Peter  Funk  “  Gift-Enterprise”  firms  in  a  large 
city,  sent  a  package  of  tickets  to  a  post  master  in  Maine,  the 
postage  upon  which  was  fifteen  cents  unpaid.  They  got  the 
following  hard  rap  over  the  knuckles,  from  the  indignant 
official : — 

“  I  herewith  return  your  tickets.  You  must  be  fools  as  well  as 
knaves,  to  suppose  that  I  will  aid  you  in  swindling  my  neighbors, 
and  pay  all  the  expenses  myself” 

To  which  he  in  a  few  days  received  the  annexed  “  settler — 

Sir, 

“We  perhaps  owe  you  an  apology  for  sending  the  parcel  postage 
unpaid. 

As  we  infer  from  the  phraseology  of  3rour  note,  that  you  are  willing 
to  swindle  your  neighbors  if  we  will  pay  all  the  expenses,  please 
give  us  your  lowest  terms  on  which  you  will  act  as  our  agent. 

P.  S.  All  communications  shall  be  strictly  confidential.” 

This  note  was  promptly  returned,  with  the  following  en¬ 
dorsement  across  its  face,  by  the  post  master : — 

“  It  seems  you  are  not  only  fools  and  knaves,  but  blackguards  also. 
Ask  my  neighbors  if  they  think  I  would  “  swindle”  them  either  at  my 
own  expense  or  that  of  any  one  else.” 

To  which  this  answer  came  back  by  next  mail : — 

“  We  have  inquired  of  your  neighbors  long  ago,  and  that’s  the  reason 
we  applied  to  you  in  the  first  instance.” 

Here  follows  the  post  master’s  final  reply : — 

“  I  acknowledge  the  corn.  Send  us  your  street  and  number,  so  that 


344 


THE  IRISH  HEART. 


I  can  call  on  you  when  I  come  to  the  city,  and  I  may  conclude  to 
aid  your  “Enterprise.” 

But  that  was  the  last  thing  that  the  11  Gift”  gentleman 
could  think  of  doing.  In  fact,  secrecy  as  to  his  locality,  was 
quite  essential  in  keeping  out  of  the  clutches  of  the  Police. 


THE  IRISH  HEART. 

Many  of  the  reading  public  will  remember  the  sad  accident 
which  occurred  in  Hartford,  Conn.,  in  the  year  1853,  when  by 
the  bursting  of  a  boiler  connected  with  a  car  factory,  several 
of  the  workmen  were  killed.  Among  the  killed  were  two 
Irishmen,  brothers,  each  of  whom  left  a  widow,  with  an  infant 
child.  These  men  had  been  industrious  and  faithful  toward 
their  employers,  and  kind  in  their  own  households,  so  that 
when  they  were  taken  away  in  such  a  sudden  and  shocking 
manner,  their  sorrowing  widows  felt  a  double  stroke,  in  the 
loss  of  affectionate  hearts,  and  in  the  deprivation  of  many 
of  the  comforts  which  the  hand  of  affection  had  hitherto  sup¬ 
plied.  Their  little  ones,  too,  required  much  of  their  atten¬ 
tion,  and  often  seriously  interfered  with  their  efforts  to  provide 
for  the  daily  wants  of  their  desolate  households. 

About  six  months  after  the  accident,  the  Hartford  post 
master  received  from  the  Department  at  Washington  a  11  dead 
letter,”  which  had  been  written  by  these  brothers  to  a  female 
relative  in  Ireland,  enclosing  a  draft  for  ten  pounds  sterling, 
to  defray  the  expenses  of  her  passage  to  America. 

This  anxiety  on  the  part  of  these  children  of  Erin  who  had 
come  to  this  land  of  promise,  to  furnish  their  relatives  and 
friends  whom  they  had  left  behind,  with  the  means  of  follow¬ 
ing  them,  is  a  striking  manifestation  of  that  ardent  attachment 
to  home  and  its  circle  of  loved  ones,  which  leads  them  to 
undergo  every  sacrifice  in  order  to  effect  a  reunion  with  those 
for  whose  presence  they  long  with  irrepressible  desires,  as  they 
go  about,  u  strangers  in  a  strange  land.”  They  have  often 


THE  WIDOWS. 


345 


been  known  to  submit  to  tbe  severest  privations  for  tbe  sake 
of  bringing  over  a  sister,  a  brother,  or  some  other  relative, 
without  whom  the  family  circle  would  be  incomplete.  All 
this  is  but  one  aspect  of  the  11  Irish  heart,”  whose  warmth  of 
affection  and  generous  impulses  should  put  to  shame  many, 
who  without  their  ardent  unselfishness,  coolly  laugh  at  the 
blunders  and  mal  apropos  speeches  of  its  possessors,  and 
attribute  that  to  shallowness,  which  is  in  truth  but  a  sudden 
and  sometimes  conflicting  flow  of  ideas.  As  the  mad  poet 
McDonald  Clark  once  wrote  in  an  epigram  on  an  editor  who 
had  accused  him  of  possessing  u  zigzag  brains,” 

**  I  can  tell  Johnny  Lang,  by  way  of  a  laugh, 

Since  he’s  dragged  in  my  name  to  hi?  pen-and-ink  brawl, 
That  some  people  think  it  is  better  by  half 

To  have  brains  that  are  ‘  zigzag,’  than  no  brains  at  all !” 

11  By  their  works  ye  shall  know  them.”  It  is  comparatively 
easy  to  utter  the  language  of  affection,  and  to  express  a  vast 
deal  of  fine  sentiment ;  and  much  of  this  spurious  coin  is 
current  in  the  world.  But  when  one  is  seen  denying  himself 
almost  the  necessaries  of  life,  in  order  to  accumulate  a  little 
fund  for  the  benefit  of  some  one  near  to  his  heart,  though  far 
away,  we  feel  that  there  can  be  no  deception  here.  Like  the 
widow’s  mite,  it  has  the  ring  of  pure  gold. 

The  letter  referred  to,  (which  was  sent  back  from  Ireland 
in  consequence  of  some  misdirection,)  was  full  of  kind  feeling, 
and  manifested  on  the  part  of  the  writers  a  firm  and  simple  trust 
in  the  goodness  of  Providence.  The  post  master  sent  word  to 
the  widows  that  this  letter  was  in  his  possession,  and  accordingly 
was  visited  by  the  bereaved  women,  whose  tears  flowed  fast  as 
they  gazed  upon  the  record  which  recalled  so  vividly  the  kind¬ 
nesses  of  their  departed  husbands.  The  little  sum  enclosed, 
as  they  stated,  was  the  result  of  the  united  efforts  of  the 
two  families,  who  cheerfully  joined  in  this  labor  of  love.  Plow 
many  a  recollection  of  unmurmuring  self-denial,  with  the 
hope  that  made  it  easy ;  how  many  a  remembrance  of  bright 


846 


MY  WIFE’S  SISTER. 


anticipations  of  the  happiness  to  be  enjoyed,  when  the  beloved 
one,  for  whose  sake  these  efforts  were  made,  should  be  received 
within  their  family  circle ;  how  many  such  things  must  have 
been  brought  to  mind  by  the  sight  of  the  missive,  so  freighted 
with  affection  and  memories  of  the  past ! 

The  post  master  informed  the  widows  that  by  returning  the 
draft  to  the  office  from  which  it  was  purchased,  they  might 
obtain  the  money  on  it;  but  they  replied  that  since  it  had 
once  been  dedicated  to  an  object  sacred  both  to  the  departed 
and  their  survivors,  it  must  go  back  to  Ireland,  and  fulfil  its 
mission. 

So  these  poor  stricken  women,  to  whom  ten  pounds  was  a 
large  sum,  (even  larger  than  when  the  letter  was  first  sent,) 
and  who  much  needed  the  comforts  it  would  purchase,  sent 
back  the  draft,  and  have  since  had  the  happiness  of  meeting 
their  relative  in  America,  and  seeing  the  wishes  of  their  hus¬ 
bands  faithfully  carried  out. 

This  is  but  one  of  many  constantly  recurring  instances  of 
generosity  and  devotion  which  come  to  the  knowledge  of  post 
masters;  and  while  we  have  put  on  record  some  of  the 
blunders  of  an  impulsive  people,  our  sense  of  justice  as  well  as 
inclination,  has  prompted  us  to  make  public  the  foregoing 
incidents,  so  forcibly  illustrating  the  warm  attachments  that 
grace  the  Irish  Heart. 


MY  WIFE’S  SISTER. 

The  most  ridiculous  errors  and  omissions  sometimes  occur 
on  the  part  of  persons  applying  to  post  masters  for  missing 
letters.  The  following  amusing  correspondence  will  illustrate 
this  phase  of  post-office  experience  : — 

New  York,  29tk  Jan.  1855. 

Post  Master  New  York. 

Dear  Sir, 

A  week  ago  last  Monday,  I  mailed  two  letters,  both  having  enclo- 


347 


MY  WIFE’S  SISTER. 

sures,  but  of  no  intrinsic  value,  directed  to  my  wife’s  sister  in  New 
Haven,  Conn.,  neither  of  which  have  ever  reached  their  destination. 

Very  respectfully  yours, 

W.  B.  II - . 

The  above  letter  was  forwarded  to  the  post  master  of  New 
Haven,  after  having  been  read  by  the  New  York  post  master. 
It  was  soon  returned  with  the  following  pertinent  inquiries  : — 

Post  Office,  New  Haven,  Conn.,  Feb.  1,  1855. 

Solus  1  ? 

Well,  that  is  a  fix!  What  is  that  name  ?  Is  it  Jonathan  or  Wm.  B. 
Haskell,  or  Hershel  ?  Who’d  he  marry  ?  How  many  sisters  did  his 
wife  have  ?  What  were  their  names  ?  Who  are  their  friends  and 
relations  in  New  Haven  ?  Is  the  lady  here  on  a  visit  ?  Or,  like  a  careful 
matron,  has  she  come  here  to  educate  her  children  ?  Egad,  I  don’t 
know  !  My  library  is  wofully  deficient  in  genealogy,  and  I  shall  be 
obliged  to  “give  it  up.”  Who  can  tell  me  the  name  of  “my  wife’s 
sister  ?” 

Yours  truly, 

L.  A.  T - . 

The  New  Haven  post  master’s  letter  was  then  sent  to  Mr. 
H.?  with  the  annexed  note  : — 

Post  Office,  New  York,  Feb.  2,  1855. 

Mr.  Wm.  B.  H - . 

Dear  Sir, 

By  direction  of  the  post  master,  I  forwarded  your  letter  of  inquiry 
to  the  post  master  at  New  Haven. 

He  returns  the  letter  to  this  office  with  a  request  that  the  name  of 
your  “wife’s  sister”  may  be  given  to  him,  as  he  has  been  unable  to 
discover  it,  although  possessed  of  a  large  library  embracing  many 
works  of  a  genealogical  character.  The  P.  M.  at  New  Haven  is 
inclined  to  the  belief  that  it  will  be  difficult  to  find  the  letter  sent  to 
his  office,  unless  the  name  of  the  party  addressed  is  given  to  him.  In 
this  belief  the  P.  M.  at  New  York  joins,  and  the  two  P.  M.’s  hold 
concurrent  opinions  on  this  subject. 

With  all  due  apologies  for  the  seemingly  gross  ignorance  of  the 
post  masters  in  this  matter, 

I  am  very  respectfully 

Your  Obedient  Servant, 

Wm.  C - , 

Secretary. 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 


RESPONSIBILITY  OF  POST  MASTERS. 

Cases  sometimes  occur  of  tlie  loss  of  letters  apparently  by 
tbe  carelessness  of  post  masters  or  their  clerks ;  and  in  view 
of  such  cases,  an  important  question  arises ;  namely,  to  what 
extent  a  post  master  is  responsible  for  the  consequences  of 
such  carelessness  ? 

The  subject  is  not  free  from  difficulties.  In  many  cases  it 
would  be  hard  to  say  what  constitutes  culpable  carelessness. 

It  is  common  in  country  towns  for  persons  to  take  from  the 
post-office  the  mail  matter  of  their  neighbors,  especially  when 
they  live  at  a  distance  from  the  office,  as  an  act  of  accommoda¬ 
tion  to  them )  and  many  letters  are  thus  safely  delivered  every 
day. 

Now  should  a  valuable  letter  in  this  way  come  into  the  pos¬ 
session  of  some  dishonest  person,  and  be  retained  by  him,  it 
would  seem  severe,  if  not  unjust,  to  prosecute  the  post  master 
for  the  loss )  since  in  committing  it  unawares  to  improper 
hands,  he  did  but  act  in  accordance  with  ordinary  usages, 
countenanced  by  the  community. 

It  would  undoubtedly  be  a  safer  way  of  doing  business,  to 
insist  upon  an  order  in  every  case  where  a  letter  is  delivered 
to  any  other  person  than  the  one  to  whom  it  is  addressed,  or 
some  one  usually  employed  by  him  for  this  purpose.  But  the 
country  post  master  who  should  rigidly  insist  upon  this  rule, 

(348) 


DELIVERY  OF  LETTERS. 


849 


would  receive  “more  kicks  than  coppers”  for  his  good  inten¬ 
tions  ;  and  indeed,  cases  like  the  one  supposed  are  few  and  far 
between. 

In  cities,  also,  something  like  the  following  might  and  does 
frequently  happen.  A  person  known  to  he  in  the  employ  of 
another,  comes  to  the  post-office,  and  says  he  is  sent  by  his 
employer  for  his  letters,  and  the  clerk  in  attendance,  believing 
his  statement,  gives  them  to  him.  He  robs  the  letters  and 
disappears.  In  this  case,  it  hardly  seems  that  the  clerk  was 
guilty  of  a  culpable  degree  of  negligence. 

Here  is  another  instance  of  the  manner  in  which  a  letter 
may  go  to  the  wrong  person,  where  the  fault  is  not  chargeable 
to  post-office  employes.  In  the  list  of  advertised  letters,  one 
is  found  for  John  Smith.  An  individual  calls  for  the  letter, 
claiming  to  he  the  identical  John,  and  receives  it;' but  a  day 
or  two  after  the  “  Simon  Pure”  appears,  and  is  indignant  at 
learning  that  his  letter  has  already  been  appropriated,  or  that 
the  clerk  knows  nothing  about  it,  having  forgotten  the  cir¬ 
cumstance.  Of  course  the  clerk,  in  such  a  case,  might  require 
the  supposed  John  Smith  to  identify  the  letter  as  far  as  was 
possible,  by  mentioning  the  place  from  which  he  expected  it ; 
but  many  supposable  circumstances  might  destroy  the  con¬ 
clusiveness  of  this  evidence  of  identity,  such  as  the  acquaint¬ 
ance  of  the  false  John  with  the  real  one,  and  his  knowledge 
of  the  place  whence  he  received  most  of  his  correspondence. 
Besides,  the  real  claimant  might  not  he  able  to  tell  where  the 
letter  was  mailed,  for  his  correspondent  might  have  written 
from  some  other  place  than  the  one  where  he  usually  lived. 

But  it  is  needless  to  multiply  instances.  Those  that  we  have 
mentioned,  and  many  others  which  will  readily  occur  to  the 
reader,  will  suffice  to  show  that  the  number  of  cases  in  which 
a  post  master  can  justifiably  be  prosecuted,  is  very  limited  by 
the  nature  of  the  circumstances. 

On  the  other  hand,  a  proper  diligence  requires  of  the  post 
master  not  only  the  obvious  precaution  of  securing  reliable 
assistants,  but  a  care  in  relation  to  the  minutiae  of  his  office 
80 


350 


A  POST  MASTER  SUED. 


which  shall  prevent  the  mislaying  of  letters,  by  carelessness 
within,  or  their  abstraction  by  theft  from  loithout.  The  boxes 
and  delivery  window  should  be  so  arranged  as  to  render  the 
interior  of  the  boxes  inaccessible  to  outsiders,  and  of  course  no 
one  should  be  admitted  within  the  enclosure,  under  any 
ordinary  circumstances. 

I  am  aware  that  these  hints  are  unnecessary  to  the  great 
body  of  post  masters  in  this  country ;  yet  it  can  do  no  harm  to 
mention  such  things,  as  it  appears  by  the  following  report  that 
post  masters  are  sometimes  held  to  answer  before  a  court,  for 
the  want  of  diligence  in  discharging  the  duties  of  their  office. 

The  suit  was  brought  in  1849,  by  Moses  Christy  of  Water- 
bury,  Vermont,  against  Eufus  C.  Smith,  post  master  at  that 
place,  for  the  loss  of  a  letter  containing  fifty  dollars,  mailed  at 
Salisbury,  Mass.,  Nov.  23,  1849,  by  Moses  True,  Jr. 

Moses  True,  Jr.,  testified  that  he  carried  the  letter  to  the 
Salisbury  post-office,  and  showed  the  money  to  the  post  master, 
who  counted  it,  and  it  was  then  enclosed  in  the  letter,  and 
left  with  the  post  master,  who  testified  that  he  mailed  it  in  the 
ordinary  way,  and  forwarded  it  to  Waterbury  by  the  usual 
course.  The  letter  not  being  received  by  Christy,  application 
was  made  for  it  to  the  post  master,  but  nothing  could  be  found 
of  it.  The  post-bill,  however,  which  accompanied  it,  was 
found  in  the  Waterbury  office. 

It  was  shown  that  a  son  of  Christy  and  one  other  person 
were  in  the  habit  of  calling  at  the  post-office  for  his  letters ; 
but  they  both  swore  that  they  did  not  remember  receiving  the 
letter  in  question,  and  that  if  it  was  taken  out  by  either  of 
them,  it  was,  in  the  absence  of  Christy,  laid  upon  his  desk  or 
placed  in  a  private  drawer. 

It  was  further  proved  that  the  Waterbury  office  was  kept  in 
a  room  about  sixteen  feet  square,  divided  in  the  centre  by  the 
boxes  and  a  railing,  which  separated  the  part  devoted  to  the 
office  business,  from  the  portion  appropriated  to  the  use  of  the 
public ;  that  the  boxes  were  so  arranged  that  the  box  of  Moses 
Christy  could  easily  be  reached  through  the  u  delivery and 


POINTS  OF  DEFENCE. 


851 


that  persons  were  frequently  allowed  to  pass  behind  or  near 
one  end  of  the  counter  within  the  enclosure,  to  transact 
business  with  the  post  master. 

There  was  no  evidence  to  show  that  any  persons,  other  than 
the  office  assistants,  were  permitted  to  go  behind  the  railing  at 
the  time  the  letter  in  question  arrived  at  the  office. 

It  appeared  that  the  post  master  employed  several  persons 
as  assistants  in  the  Summer  and  Autumn  of  1849,  but  there 
was  no  evidence  to  show  that  any  of  these  persons  were  regu¬ 
larly  appointed  and  sworn.  It  further  appeared  by  Christy’s 
postage  account,  that  one  or  two  letters  were  charged  to  him 
on  the  24th  of  November,  1849,  and  he  produced  four  or  five 
letters,  which,  by  the  ordinary  course  of  the  mails,  would  have 
been  received  on  that  day. 

We  here  copy  from  u  Vermont  Reports,”  Yol.  8,  p.  663  :  — 

The  defendant  requested  the  Court  to  charge  the  jury  as  follows  : — 
1.  That  the  defendant  does  not  in  any  manner  stand  as  an  insurer  in 
relation  to  the  business  of  his  office,  and  is  only  held  to  ordinary  dili¬ 
gence  in  the  discharge  of  the  duties  of  his  office,  and  can  only  be  made 
liable  for  losses  occasioned  by  a  want  of  such  diligence,  and  that  the 
burden  of  proof  is  upon  the  plaintiff,  to  establish  the  fact  of  the  want 
of  such  diligence.  2.  That  in  order  to  establish  the  fact  of  want  of 
ordinary  diligence,  the  plaintiff  must  show  some  particular  act  of 
negligence  in  relation  to  the  letter  in  question,  and  that  the  loss  was 
the  direct  consequence  of  the  particular  negligence  proved.  3.  That 
although  there  may  have  been  official  misconduct  on  the  part  of  the 
defendant,  yet  unless  it  be  shown  that  the  plaintiff’s  loss  was  the 
result  of  such  misconduct,  he  cannot  recover.  4.  That  if  the  letter 
were  by  mistake  delivered  to  the  wrong  person,  stolen  by  a  stranger, 
or  embezzled  by  a  clerk,  the  defendant  is  not  liable,  unless  he  has 
been  negligent,  and  the  loss  was  the  direct  consequence  of  his  negli¬ 
gence.  5.  That  it  is  not  sufficient,  to  entitle  the  plaintiff  to  recover, 
merely  to  show  that  a  letter  was  received  at  the  office,  and  that  the 
person  to  whom  it  was  directed  has  not  received  it.  6.  That  the 
post  master  is  not  liable  for  the  negligence  of  his  deputies,  unless  he 
is  guilty  of  negligence  in  appointing  wholly  unsuitable  persons.  7. 
That  the  defendant  being  a  public  officer,  he  would  hot  be  liable  in 
an  action  of  trover,  unless,  at  the  time  the  letter  was  called  for,  he 


352 


THE  VERDICT. 


had  the  letter  in  his  possession  or  control,  and  withheld  it,  or  had 
actually  appropriated  the  letter,  or  money,  to  his  own  use. 

The  Court  charged  the  jury  in  accordance  with  all  the  foregoing 
requests,  except  the  second  and  sixth.  In  relation  to  the  second 
request  the  Court  charged  the  jury,  that  it  was  not  necessary,  in  order 
to  enable  the  plaintiff  to  recover,  that  he  should  show  a  particular 
act  of  negligence  in  relation  to  the  letter  in  question ;  but  that,  if  the 
plaintiff  had  shown  a  general  want  of  common  care  and  diligence  on 
the  part  of  the  defendant,  either  in  the  construction  of  his  places  of 
deposit  for  letters,  so  that  they  were  unsafe,  or  in  the  management 
of  the  post-office,  in  permitting  persons  to  go  behind  the  railing  who 
had  no  legal  right  to  go  there,  and  had  also  satisfied  them  that  the 
letter  and  money  in  question  were  lost  in  consequence  of  such  negli¬ 
gence  or  misconduct  of  the  defendant,  then  the  defendant  should  be 
liable.  In  reference  to  the  sixth  request  the  Court  charged  the  jury, 
that  as  there  was  no  proof  that  any  of  the  persons  who  were  employed 
by  defendant  in  the  office  had  ever  been  appointed  or  sworn  as 
assistants,  they  were  to  be  regarded  as  mere  clerks,  or  servants  of 
the  defendant,  and  that  if,  through  negligence  or  want  of  common 
care  and  diligence  on  the  part  of  such  clerks  or  servants,  the  money 
and  letters  were  lost,  the  defendant  would  be  liable  therefor 

Vei’dict  for  plaintiff.  Exceptions  by  defendant. 

The  decision  was  sustained  in  the  Supreme  Court. 

If  tlie  report  of  the  above  case  shall  have  the  effect  to 
render  any  class  of  post  masters  more  careful  of  the  custody 
of  correspondence,  and  in  the  general  management  of  their 
offices,  the  object  of  its  insertion  will  have  been  answered. 


I 


* 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 


OFFICIAL  COURTESY,  ETC. 

The  post-office  clerk  who  fails  to  do  his  duty  thoroughly,  is 
like  a  light-house  keeper,  who  now  and  then  allows  his  light 
to  go  out,  or  become  dim.  Sometimes  no  harm  may  result ; 
but  it  may  be  that  the  helmsman  of  some  gallant  ship  laden 
with  precious  goods,  and  far  more  precious  lives,  seeing  no  light 
to  direct  him  through  the  angry  storm,  steers  blindly  onward, 
and  is  wrecked  upon  the  very  spot  whence  the  guiding  star 
should  have  beamed. 

Not  only  is  it  the  duty  of  those  connected  with  post-offices  to 
exercise  the  utmost  carefulness  and  exactness,  in  order  that  mail 
matter  may  promptly  reach  the  persons  for  whom  it  is  intended^ 
but  sometimes  much  caution  and  discretion  are  required  from 
them,  that  letters  may  not  fall  into  hands  for  which  they  were 
not  designed. 

There  are  other  qualifications  scarcely  less  desirable  for 
post-office  employes  than  exactness  and  caution.  Patience  and 
courtesy  toward  the  various  individuals  constituting  that 
public  which  it  is  the  duty  of  these  officials  to  serve,  go  very 
far  in  carrying  out  the  idea  of  the  post-office, — that  of  being  a 
convenience  to  the  community. 

We  have  elsewhere  shown  that  the  life  of  a  post-office  clerk 
is  not  passed  upon  a  bed  of  roses,  and  we  would  here  call  his 
attention  to  the  truth  that  many  annoyances  must  be  expected 
by  him  in  the  course  of  his  experience.  The  ignorance  and 
30*  (353) 


354 


POST  OFFICE  ANNOYANCES. 


consequent  pertinacity  of  those  who  apply  for  letters,  frequently 
try  his  patience  to  the  utmost. 

A  person,  for  instance,  anxiously  expecting  a  letter,  and 
not  understanding  that  the  mail  by  which  it  would  come 
arrives  only  once  a  day,  inquires  at  the  office  half  a  dozen 
times  on  the  same  day,  and  it  is  not  very  wonderful  that  the 
clerk  in  attendance  should  give  short  answers  to  the  persever¬ 
ing  applicant,  or  even  omit  to  search  for  the  letter.  Yet,  even 
in  a  case  like  this,  much  allowance  should  be  made  for  the 
possible  circumstances  of  the  person  in  question.  He  may  he 
waiting  for  news  from  a  sick  child,  or  for  some  other  informa¬ 
tion  of  the  utmost  importance  to  him,  and  it  is  surely  hard 
enough  to  he  disappointed  in  such  expectations,  without  being 
obliged  to  suffer  the  additional  pain  of  a  harsh  response. 

Of  course  post-office  clerks  seldom  know  the  peculiar  circum¬ 
stances  of  those  who  apply  for  letters ;  but  the  exercise  of 
patience  and  mildness  toward  all,  would  be  sure  to  spare  the 
feelings  of  those  who  often  rather  need  sympathy  than  rough 
words. 

Many  who  cany  on  little  correspondence,  and  therefore  have 
little  occasion  to  he  informed  respecting  post-office  matters  in 
general,  often  make  blunders  which  are  very  annoying ;  but  it 
is  to  be  remembered  that  those  in  charge  of  the  post-office, 
were  employed  for  this,  (among  other  things  which  contribute 
to  the  perfection  of  this  branch  of  public  service,)  namely,  to 
bear  with  all  classes  of  correspondents,  and  to  maintain  a 
uniform  courtesy  toward  every  one.  This  would  render  it 
possible  for  even  the  most  timid  to  approach  the  “  delivery 
window,”  without  experiencing  the  sensation  of  looking  into  a 
lion’s  den,  as  has  sometimes  (but  I  trust  seldom)  been  the  case. 

On  the  other  hand,  it  is  reasonable  that  those  who  avail 
themselves  of  the  conveniences  of  the  post-office,  should  take 
pains  to  inform  themselves  on  those  points  which  it  is  necessary 
they  should  know,  in  order  to  avoid  giving  inconvenience  to 
themselves,  and  unnecessary  trouble  to  those  appointed  to 
serve  them. 


DUPLICATE  NAMES. 


355 


The  times  of  opening  and  closing  mails,  and  similar  matters, 
should  be  known,  that  the  post-office  may  not  hear  the  blame 
due  to  negligence  outside  its  walls. 

Caso«  now  and  then  occur,  similar  to  the  following,  which 
happened  but  a  few  years  ago. 

A  letter  came  into  the  Windsor,  Vermont,  post-office,  con¬ 
taining  a  draft  on  the  Suffolk  Bank  for  three  hundred  dollars, 
and  directed  “Johnson  Clark,  Windsor,  Ct.”  The  “  Ct.,” 
however,  was  written  so  indistinctly  as  to  resemble  “Vt. f’ 
and  as  there  was  a  person  by  the  name  of  Johnson  Clark  (as 
we  shall  call  him)  in  the  latter  place,  the  letter  was  handed 
to  him. 

When  he  looked  at  the  post-mark,  (that  of  a  town  some 
twenty  or  thirty  miles  distant,)  he  remarked,  “  I  can’t  imagine 
who  can  have  been  writing  to  me  from  there,”  and  after  open- 
ingyand  reading  it,  he  returned  it  to  the  post  master,  saying 
that  it  was  not  for  him. 

But  his  honesty  was  only  of  a  transient  nature,  for  he  could 
not  keep  the  money  out  of  his  thoughts,  and  he  soon  began  to 
think  that  he  had  been  rather  hasty  in  returning  the  letter, 
when,  for  aught  he  knew,  he  could  have  retained  its  contents 
with  impunity.  For  was  not  the  letter  directed  to  Johnson 
Clark  ?  And  may  not  one  take  possession  of  a  letter  directed 
to  himself? 

This  course  of  thought  and  these  queries  were  followed  by 
the  determination  to  ^recover  the  letter,  and  appropriate  the 
contents. 

Clark  accordingly  went  to  the  post  master  the  next  day,  and 
stated  that  he  had  heard,  the  evening  before,  of  the  death  of  a 
relative  who  had  been  living  at  the  West,  and  who  had  left 
him  a  small  legacy,  namely,  the  sum  contained  in  the  letter. 
On  the  strength  of  these  representations,  the  post  master  gave 
him  the  document,  without,  so  far  as  appears,  making  any 
attempt  to  verify  his  statement.  The  inheritor  of  legacies 
proceeded  forthwith  to  the  Bank  in  the  village,  and  obtained 
the  money  on  the  draft,  endorsing  it,  as  is  customary.  It  only 


356 


CARELESS  POST  MASTER. 


required  his  own  name  to  be  written,  and  where  was  the  harm  ? 
thought  he. 

A  few  days  after  this,  the  person  who  had  written  the  letter 
came  to  Windsor,  Vt.,  having  been  informed  by  his  corres¬ 
pondent  at  Windsor,  Ct.,  that  it  had  not  reached  him;  and 
thinking  it  possible  that  it  might  have  gone  astray. 

On  his  arrival  at  the  former  place,  he  soon  ascertained  that 
the  Vermont  Dromio  had  taken  possession  of  his  letter. 

This  worthy  found  that  the  name  of  Johnson  Clark  was  not 
a  spell  potent  enough  to  protect  him  in  the  enjoyment  of  his 
unrighteous  gain.  He  was  sent  to  the  State  Prison  for  two 
years. 

In  this  instance,  the  post  master  was  clearly  guilty  of  care¬ 
lessness  in  allowing  Clark  to  obtain  the  letter  on  the  pretext 
that  he  offered.  As  there  was  a  well  known  town  in  Connecti¬ 
cut  of  the  name  of  Windsor,  prudence  would  have  required  a 
closer  examination  of  the  address,  after  the  letter  was  returned 
by  Clark.  And  the  story  by  which  Clark  imposed  upon  him, 
was  sufficiently  lame  in  some  particulars  to  have  called  for  a 
closer  investigation  of  its  truth.  If  the  post  master  had 
requested  to  be  allowed  to  read  that  part  of  the  letter  which 
referred  to  the  pretended  legacy,  a  refusal  on  the  part  of  Clark 
to  permit  it,  would  of  course  have  created  a  strong  suspicion 
that  he  was  playing  a  dishonest  game,  and  would  have  justified 
the  post  master  in  withholding  the  letter  until  further  proof 
could  be  obtained  as  to  the  identity  of  Johnson  Clark  with  the 
one  for  whom  the  epistle  was  designed. 

Cases  similar  to  the  above  are  not  unfrequent ;  and  in  all 
such  instances,  those  who  rely  on  a  name  identical  with  that 
of  some  other  person,  as  a  shield  for  attempted  dishonesty, 
have  found  their  defence  fail  them  in  the  hour  of  need. 

The  matter  seems  too  plain  to  need  elucidation ;  yet  not  a 
few  persons,  equally  compounded  of  folly  and  knavery,  have 
actually  supposed  that  the  possession  of  a  name  like  that  of 
another  man,  would  enable  them  to  keep  on  the  shady  side  of 
+he  law  in  making  free  with  his  purse  also. 


PILLS  AND  ELIXIR. 


357 


This  accidental  resemblance  of  name  has  often  been  used 
for  dishonest  purposes  in  other  ways  than  the  one  just  described. 

Snooks  manufactures  a  patent  medicine  which  is  beginning 
to  obtain  some  celebrity,  when  some  obscure  Snooks  starts  up 
with  his  pill,  or  elixir.  The  innocent  public,  ready  to  swallow 
pills  and  stories  bearing  the  name  of  Snooks,  makes  no  dis¬ 
tinction  between  the  two  personages ;  and  the  “  original  J arley” 
is  compelled  to  share  his  honors  and  emoluments  with  his  up¬ 
start  namesake.  Trickery  like  this  can  seldom  be  reached  by 
law,  but  the  appropriator  of  the  contents  of  a  letter  under  cir¬ 
cumstances  like  those  above  detailed,  is  dealt  with  like  any 
other  kind  of  robber. 


CHAPTER  XXV. 


IMPORTANCE  OF  ACCURACY. 

After  giving  11  outsiders”  the  share  of  blame  which  rightly 
belongs  to  them  for  the  delay,  miscarrying,  and  loss  of  valuable 
mail  matter,  a  balance  remains  due  to  the  post  masters  and 
post-office  clerks. 

We  have  elsewhere  expressed  our  views  respecting  dis¬ 
honesty  in  these  officials,  and  shall  consequently  confine  our 
present  remarks  principally  to  carelessness  and  other  similar 
faults,  which  can  hardly  be  called  crimes,  but  which  often 
produce  effects  as  disastrous  as  those  which  are  the  result  of 
evil  intention.  These  faults,  indeed,  differ  only  in  degree  from 
what  nre  termed  crimes ;  for  neglect  of  duty,  is  on  a  small 
scale,  a  species  of  dishonesty. 

There  is,  perhaps,  no  situation  in  which  a  lack  of  prompt¬ 
ness  and  accuracy  in  the  transaction  of  business  may  be  pro¬ 
ductive  of  so  great  evil,  as  in  that  of  a  post-office  employ^. 
Those  engaged  in  ordinary  branches  of  business  have  some 
idea  of  the  relative  consequence  of  the  matters  about  which 
they  are  occupied  from  day  to  day.  They  can  generally  know 
what  is  the  actual  importance  of  any  given  transaction,  so  that, 
if  they  are  disposed  to  be  negligent,  they  may,  if  they  choose, 
avoid  incurring  the  guilt  and  blame  which  would  follow  un¬ 
faithfulness  in  great  things. 

But  the  post-office  clerk  seldom  has  the  power  of  making  such 
a  discrimination.  The  letter  which  is  carelessly  left  over  to- 

(358) 


POCKETING  THE  POSTAGE. 


359 


day,  may  go  to-morrow,  but  too  late  to  save  the  credit  of  a 
tottering  house,  or  to  render  the  instructions  it  may  contain, 
of  any  avail.  In  the  rapid  course  of  commercial  transactions, 
what  is  wisdom  one  day,  may  be  folly  the  next,  and  thus  it  not 
unfrequently  happens  that  the  best  contrived  plans  may  be 
ruined  by  the  delay  or  non-arrival  of  a  letter. 

The  following  instance  will  illustrate  this. 

Before  the  passage  of  the  late  Postal  Treaty  with  Great 
Britain,  a  clerk  in  one  of  our  large  cities  was  sent  to  the  post- 
office  to  mail  a  letter,  containing  an  order  for  goods  on  an 
English  house.  The  clerk  pocketed  the  twenty-four  cents 
which  he  had  been  intrusted  with  for  the  purpose  of  pre-pay¬ 
ing  the  letter ;  therefore  agreeably  to  the  postal  arrangements 
then  existing,  it  could  not  go  by  steamer,  but  was  sent  by  a 
*  sailing  vessel. 

Consequently  the  order  was  delayed,  and  therefore  was  not 
executed  as  promptly  as  the  firm  sending  it  had  expected; 
and  when  the  goods  arrived  they  had  fallen  in  value  to  such 
an  extent,  that  the  firm  in  question  incurred  by  the  operation 
a  loss  estimated  at  at  least  ten  thousand  dollars. 


CHAPTER  XXYI. 


PostMasters  as  Directories — Novel  Applications — The  Batter  Business. 

A  Thievish  Family — “  Clarinda”  in  a  City — Decoying  with  Cheese 

— Post  Master’s  Response. 

A  Truant  Husband — Woman’s  Instinct. 

Editors  are  supposed  by  many  to  be  walking  encyclopedias, 
with  the  record  of  the  entire  range  of  human  knowledge 
inscribed  on  the  tablets  of  their  brains ;  and  there  are  those 
who  in  like  manner  seem  to  consider  post  masters  as  living 
Directories,  able  at  short  notice  to  inform  any  one  who  chooses 
to  ask,  where  Smith  lives,  and  what  business  Jones  is  in,  or 
what  is  the  price  of  guano,  (an  inquiry  actually  made  by  letter, 
of  a  New  York  post  master.) 

In  short,  these  Government  officers  are  often  called  upon  to 
serve  the  public  in  a  sphere  which  Congress  never  contemplated 
in  the  various  enactments  it  has  passed  respecting  the  duties  of 
post  masters,  and  the  details  of  the  postal  system. 

A  few  specimens  of  letters  received  by  different  post  masters, 
may  not  be  uninteresting,  as  illustrating  this  phase  of  post- 
office  life. 

Here  is  one  from  an  individual  desirous  of  entering  into  a 
mercantile  transaction  in  the  “hotter”  line,  and  receiving  the 
post  master’s  endorsement  of  some  good  “commish  marchan” 
who  could  be  interested  in  the  business. 

G - ,  Pennsylvania,  January  29,  1855. 

Postmaster  will  pleze  to  give  this  letter  to  a  good  Commish  Marchan 

(360) 


A  THIEVISH  FAMILY. 


30! 

what  he  could  pay  for  fresh  hotter  everry  weak  if  a  man  would  cent, 
a  hundred  up  to  3  hundred  paunts  my  intension  is  to  go  in  su+ch 
bisnis  You  will  plese  rite  me  back  to  this  present  time. 

Yours  Respectful 

J.  S. 

If  the  u  fresh  hotter”  was  u  cent  everry  weak as  was  pro¬ 
posed,  it  must  undoubtedly  have  been  very  much  sought  after, 
as  possessing  the  negative,  but  important  merit  of  not  being 
strong. 


Our  next  specimen  was  received  by  the  post  master  of  one 
of  the  cities  in  Western  New  York,  and  is  unique  both  as  re¬ 
gards  its  object,  and  its  orthography,  or  rather  cacography, 
which  appears  like  u  fonotipy”  run  mad. 

North  S - ,  Nov.  19,  1854. 

Dear  friend  it  is  with  plaisure  that  I  take  my  pen  in  hand  to  inform 
you  of  a  famly  moveing  from  this  place  the  wider  stacy  and  her  to 
girls  they  are  poor  and  haf  to  work  for  their  liveing  clarinda  is  the 
girl  that  workes  the  most  from  home  mr  sam  shirtleff  says  that  she 
has  worked  for  him  and  she  stole  pork  and  cheese  and  the  pork  hid 
between  the  bed  blankets  and  they  found  it  and  weid  it  and  thaught  a 
rat  had  braught  it  there  and  the  cheese  she  carid  home  with  her  they 
sent  to  ladies  there  a  visiting  and  sent  a  peic  of  cheese  with  them  and 
they  got  tea  and  had  cheese  uporn  the  table  and  they  sliped  a  peice 
of  the  cheese  in  thir  laps  and  compard  it  togather  and  it  was  the  same 
cind  it  was  a  large  inglich  cheese  that  shii'tleff  bought  she  has  also 
worked  to  mr  alford  blax  and  his  brother  the  old  batchlor  his  mother 
was  old  and  generly  done  the  niting  she  nit  seventeen  pare  of  socks 
and  layed  them  up  for  her  boys  when  she  got  old  and  coldent  nit  no 
more  and  they  was  all  taken  away  by  her  to  pare  afterwords  was 
found  at  the  store  and  she  sed  that  she  had  took  them  they  owed  her 
five  dolars  yet  and  they  wont  pay  her  till  she  delivers  the  socks  and 
she  dare  not  make  no  fuss  for  fear  they  will  bring  her  out  she  worked 
to  mr  cringlands  and  she  hooked  a  pare  of  white  kid  gloves  and  a 
hym  book  and  a  pocket  handkerchief  and  the  gloves  she  traded  away 
to  the  store  for  a  dress  by  giveing  a  pare  of  socks  to  boot  and  she 
worked  to  truman  huts  this  sumer  she  had  taken  a  pare  of  stockin 
which  they  found  in  her  Sunday  bonet  and  they  lost  to  shiling  in 
money  and  then  they  discharged  her  bengman  grene  bought  a  set  of 

31 


362 


DECOYING  WITH  CHEESE. 


dislies  and  they  lost  to  platters  out  of  the  set  they  lost  sope  and  buter 
out  of  their  sular  she  borrowed  of  mister  spicer  a  silver  pen  which 
coast  a  do^ar  and  after  he  was  dead  she  denied  haveing  it  and  she  told 
it  herself  that  she  sold  it  for  half  a  dolar  and  a  pennife  and  the  pennife 
was  fifty  cents  they  borrowed  a  pale  of  wheat  flour  and  when  they 
carid  it  home  and  put  to  thirds  rie  The  pepole  most  look  out  for  them 
in  the  trincket  line  mr  sir  post  master  plese  answer  this  as  soon  as 
you  can  and  oblidge  your  friend  much  yours  with  respect 

Direct  your  leter  silas  stickney  North  S - ,  N.  Y. 

The  zeal  of  Silas,  if  he  was  actuated  by  no  sinister  motives 
— no  spite  toward  u  the  wider  stacy  and  her  to  girls,”  espe¬ 
cially  u  clarinda,”  whose  exploits  form  the  burden  of  his  com¬ 
plaints — this  zeal  is  highly  commendable,  and  united  with  it 
there  is  a  fulness  of  specification  in  the  catalogue  of  11  clarii> 
da’s”  misdemeanors  which  equals  in  richness  and  effect  any¬ 
thing  that  even  the  fertile  brain  of  Dickens  could  conceive. 

The  ingenious  device  of  sending  ladies  to  the  suspected 
domicil  under  color  of  a  friendly  visit,  but  provided  with  a 
touchstone  in  the  shape  of  u  a  peic  of  cheese,”  wherewith  to 
detect  the  other  piece  supposed  to  have  been  purloined  by 
some  one  of  the  thievish  family,  was  worthy  of  a  Yidocq ;  and 
the  triumphant  issue  of  the  case,  when  their  worthy  Committee 
of  Investigation  u  sliped  a  peic  of  cheese  in  their  laps”  and 
settled  its  identity  with  the  “inglich  cheese”  which  the  vic¬ 
timized  u  shirtleflf”  had  purchased,  showed  the  power  of  genius, 
attaining  great  ends  by  the  use  of  simple  means  | 

This  epistle  developes  a  new  ramification  of  the  postal  sys¬ 
tem.  A  post  master  entreated  to  act  as  a  conservator  of  public 
morals ;  to  exert  all  his  powerful  influence  against  u  clarinda,” 
who  proved  treacherous  to  “  mr  sam  shirtleflf”  in  the  matter 
of  pork  and  cheese ;  and  abstracted  from  11  mr  alford  blax  and 
his  brother  the  old  batchlor,  the  seventeen  pare  of  socks”  that 
their  mother  had  u  nit”  to  comfort  their  nether  extremities 
when  she,  by  reason  of  the  infirmities  of  age,  “coldent  nit;” 
and  filched  “  sope  and  buter”  out  of  “  bengman  grenes  sular;” 
to  say  nothing  of  the  u  pare  of  stockin’’  which  were  secreted 


post  master’s  response. 


3G3 

in  her  u  Sunday  bonet,”  and  u  to  shilling/’  the  loss  of  which 
occasioned  her  discharge  from  the  service  of  u  truman  huts.” 

Upon  this  unfortunate  post  master  was  thrown  the  charge 
of  seeing  that  the  city  received  no  detriment  from  the  demor¬ 
alizing  influence  of  Clarinda  ! 

This  gentleman,  not  willing  to  be  outdone  by  his  corres¬ 
pondent  in  his  devotion  to  the  public  good,  indited  the  follow¬ 
ing  reply: — 

B - Post-Office,  Dec.  13,  1854. 

Mr.  Silas  Stickney. 

Dear  Sir : 

I  am  in  receipt  of  yours  of  the  19th  ult.,  and  in  reply  would  say 
Chat  I  cannot  too  highly  commend  your  solicitude  in  behalf  of  good 
morals,  and  your  discretion  in  selecting  the  post  master  of  this  place 
to  carry  out  your  benevolent  designs  toward  its  inhabitants.  The 
corrupting  influence  of  small  villages  upon  large  towns  is  a  thing 
much  to  be  lamented,  and  it  grieves  me  to  think  that  the  unsophisticated 
inhabitants  of  this  place  are  to  be  exposed  to  the  machinations  of  the 
“  widow  stacy  and  her  to  girls.”  It  will  be,  sir,  like  the  Evil  One 
entering  the  garden  of  Eden,  where  all  was  innocence  and  purity ! 

If  in  the  course  of  my  official  duties,  I  find  it  feasible  to  ward  off 
impending  danger  from  this  immaculate  town,  be  assured  that  I  shall 
not  fail  to  do  so. 

Yours,  &c., 

W.  D - ,  P.  M. 

But  post  masters  are  made  confidants  in  graver  matters  than 
tbese.  They  are  not  unfrequently  called  upon  by  deserted 
wives  to  look  up  their  truant  husbands,  and  by  desolate  hus¬ 
bands  to  aid  them  in  recovering  frail  partners,  who  have  been 
unfaithful  to  their  marriage  vows,  and  have  forsaken  the 
u  guides  of  their  youth.” 

Letters  of  this  description  are  principally  from  the  more 
illiterate  class  of  community ;  yet  amid  the  crooked  cliirogra- 
phy  and  bad  spelling,  there  sparkles  so  much  tender  affection, 
sometimes  for  the  guilty  one,  sometimes  for  the  innocent 
children,  who  are  suffering  from  the  unprincipled  conduct  of 
a  parent,  that  these  cases  command  the  warmest  sympathy  of 


3(54 


woman’s  instinct. 


those  whose  aid  is  invoked,  although  the  requests  thus  made 
relate  to  matters  entirely  out  of  their  sphere,  and  consequently 
they  are  seldom  able  to  afford  much  assistance  to  the  parties 
in  trouble. 

I  will  here  give  an  extract  from  this  class  of  letters,  as 
illustrating  the  above  remarks.  The  following  is  from  a  letter 
received  by  the  post  master  of  a  city  in  Ohio,  from  a  woman 
who  had  been  deserted  by  her  husband  five  years  previous. 
She  requested  the  post  master  to  read  it  to  her  husband,  in 
case  he  should  find  him,  so  it  is  written  at  the  latter  person. 
In  the  postscript,  (which  is  generally  supposed  to  contain  the 
pith  of  female  correspondence,)  she  says, — 

“You  would  shed  tears  If  you  onley  could  see  wat  a  smart  peart 
little  boy  you  have  hear  what  a  sham  It  Is  to  think  that  A  sensable 
man  should  leave  a  wife  and  a  child  that  Is  got  as  much  sense  as  he 
has — and  people  say  he  is  as  much  like  you  as  he  can  be  he  has  got 
the  pretys  black  eyes  I  have  ever  seen  In  any  ones  head  he  has  an 
5 ye  like  a  hawk.” 

Thus  is  the  argumentum  ad  hominem  supplied  by  woman’s 
instinct.  Fatherly  pride  was  called  upon  to  effect  that  to 
which  conjugal  affection  was  inadequate. 


CHAPTER  XXVII. 

✓ 

A  Windfall  for  Gossipers — Suit  for  Slander — Profit  and  Loss — The 
Resuscitated  Letter — Condemned  Mail  Bag — An  Epistolary  Rip 
Van  Winkle. 

In  country  villages,  where  few  events  happen  to  interrupt 
the  monotony  of  every  day  life,  the  occurrence  of  an  out-of- 
the-way  incident  is  like  seed  sown  in  a  fertile  soil,  producing 
a  fruitful  crop  of  speculations  and  surmises,  and  affoiding  food 
for  conversation  for  many  a  day  to  the  eager  gossip-hunters 
who  abound  in  such  small  places. 

About  thirty  years  ago,  the  quiet  town  of  Lebanon,  in  the 
State  of  Connecticut,  was  enlivened  by  one  of  these  occurrences, 
which  brought  a  new  influx  of  curiosity-mongers  to  the  black¬ 
smith’s  shop )  covered  all  the  barrels,  boxes,  and  counters  in 
the  store  with  eager  disputants,  and  gave  new  life  to  the  Sew¬ 
ing  Society,  and  its  auxiliary  u  tea-fights.”  The  cause  of  this 
unwonted  moving  of  the  waters,  was  on  this  wise  : 

Mr.  Jonathan  Little,  a  well  known  New  York  merchant, 
while  on  a  summer  visit  to  Lebanon,  his  native  place,  mailed 
at  thtft  office  a  letter  directed  to  the  firm  of  which  he  was  a 
member,  and  containing  bank-notes  to  the  amount  of  one 
thousand  dollars.  The  letter  failing  to  arrive  at  its  destina¬ 
tion,  and  Special  Agents  being  as  yet  unknown,  Mr.  Little 
advertised  in  several  papers,  describing  the  money  lost,  and 
offering  a  reward  for  its  recovery.  This,  however,  produced 
31  *  (365) 


366 


PROFIT  AND  LOSS. 


no  results,  and  the  tide  of  speculation  and  discussion  rose  to 
its  highest  pitch. 

The  loss  of  the  bewildering  sum  of  one  thousand  dollars 
naturally  stimulated  the  imaginative  powers  of  the  Lebano- 
nians,  and,  hurried  away  by  his  zeal,  or  perhaps  by  a  wish  to 
appear  sagacious,  Mr.  Roger  Bailey,  the  brother  of  the  Leba¬ 
non  post  master,  while  in  conversation  with  several  persons, 
incautiously  asserted  that  Amasa  Hyde,  the  post  master  at 
Franklin,  (the  next  town  to  Lebanon  on  the  route  to  New 
York,)  had  taken  the  letter,  adding,  “  He’s  just  such  a  fel¬ 
low.” 

The  by-standers  were  rather  astonished  at  this  bold  charge, 
impeaching  as  it  did  the  integrity  of  a  man  whose  character 
had  always  been  above  suspicion.  That  “bird  of  the  air” 
which  is  always  ready  to  “  carry  the  matter,”  soon  diffused  the 
information  that  Amasa  Hyde  was  supposed  to  be  the  delin¬ 
quent.  This  gentleman  being  indisposed  to  leave  his  reputa¬ 
tion  at  the  mercy  of  “  thousand-tongued  Rumor,”  which 
personage  could  not  easily  be  brought  before  a  jury,  instituted 
inquiries  for  the  purpose  of  discovering  the  originator  of  these 
injurious  reports.  He  succeeded  in  tracing  them  to  their 
source,  and  sued  the  unwary  Bailey  for  slander.  Mr.  B.,  by 
the  verdict  of  the  jury,  was  compelled  to  pay  some  seven  hun¬ 
dred  dollars  and  costs,  for  the  pleasure  of  expressing  his 
opinion. 

This,  however,  is  but  an  episode  in  the  history  of  the  lost 
letter.  After  a  while  the  excitement  died  away,  and  Mr. 
Little  found  it  necessary  to  place  the  thousand  dollars  to  the 
account  of  “  Profit  and  Loss,”  especially  the  latter. 

The  theory  was  once  advanced  by  an  acute  genius,  and  ap¬ 
plied  to  the  case  of  a  tea-kettle  inadvertently  dropped  into  the 
ocean,  that  “  a  thing  isn’t  lost  when  you  know  where  it  is.” 
But  the  subject  in  hand  seems  to  show  that  a  thing  isn’t 
always  lost,  if  you  don’t  know  where  it  is.  For,  about  two  years 
aft^r  the  occurrences  above  mentioned,  the  missing  letter  came 
to  light  with  all  its  valuable  contents.  And  this  resuscitation 


AN  EPISTOLARY  RIP  VAN  WINKLE.  367 

took  place,  not  in  Lebanon,  nor  in  Franklin,  but  in  the  New 
London  post-office ! 

It  appears  that  the  mail  bag  which  contained  the  letter,  was 
found,  on  its  arrival  at  New  London,  so  much  worn  as  to  be 
unsafe,  and  was  accordingly  condemned  by  the  post  master 
and  thrown  aside  as  useless,  having  first,  of  course,  been 
emptied  of  its  contents,  as  was  supposed.  Two  years  subse¬ 
quently,  a  quantity  of  old  mail  bags  and  other  rubbish  was 
removed  from  the  office,  and  the  letter  in  question  tooK  the 
opportunity  to  drop  out,  and  return,  an  epistolary  Kip  Van 
Winkle,  to  the  world  whence  it  had  retired  for  so  long  a  time. 


CHAPTER  X XVIII. 


VALENTINES. 

Their  Origin — Degeneration — Immoral  Influence — Incitement  to  Dis¬ 
honesty. 

Who  Saint  Valentine  was,  is  not  much  to  the  purpose  in 
this  place.  We  will  give  him  credit  for  having  been,  however, 
a  very  excellent  and  highly  respectable  individual.  We  must 
therefore  utterly  protest  against  the  custom  which  has  obtained 
of  late  years,  making  him  the  tutelary  Saint  of  innumerable 
silly  lovers,  mean  mischief-makers,  and  vulgar  letter-writers 
generally. 

Unfortunately  for  the  reputation  of  this  inoffensive  Bishop, 
the  day  noted  in  the  calendar  as  sacred  to  his  blessed  memory, 
happens  to  be  that  on  which,  according  to  the  auld-wives' 
legends  of  Merrie  England,  there  is  a  universal  marrying  and 
giving  in  marriage  among  the  feathered  tribes.  The  Four¬ 
teenth  of  February  seems  rather  bleak  for  a  grand  wedding 
festival  at  which  any  birds  but  snow  birds  are  expected  to 
attend;  but  we  suppose  we  must  respect  the  tradition.  It 
seems  early  too  for  imitative  lads  and  lasses,  who  should  wait 
until  the  warm  spring  approaches ; 

“When  the  South-wind  in  May  days, 

With  a  net  of  shining  haze, 

Silvers  the  hoi’izon  wall, 

And  with  softness  touches  all — 

Tints  the  human  countenance 
With  a  color  of  romance;” 

(3G8) 


DEGENERATION  OF  VALENTINES.  369 

and  when  all  nature  is  bathed  afresh  in  light  and  love,  and 
inspired  with  new  life. 

But,  says  a  French  writer,  the  divine  faculty  which  distin¬ 
guishes  man  from  the  brutes,  is  the  capacity  to  drink  when 
he  is  not  thirsty,  and  to  make  love  at  all  seasons  of  the  year. 
Whether  this  “  divine  faculty’’  is  a  God-gift,  or  a  perversion 
and  abuse,  the  legitimate  fruit  of  the  sad  tree  of  knowledge 
of  good  and  evil,  we  will  not  stop  to  discuss.  Man  has  it  in 
full  exercise ;  and  however  the  birds  may  grumble  at  being 
obliged  to  hurry  up  their  matrimonial  cakes  under  the  very 
beard  and  brow  of  winter,  Cupid  will  be  found — like  the 
classical  clothes-brusher  and  job-waiter — (C  nunquam  non 
paratus ,” — always  ready  at  your  service. 

The  probability  is  that  the  human  custom  of  choosing  mates 
about  this  time,  is  more  ancient  than  the  notion  touching  the 
pairing  of  birds,  and  that  the  latter  is  a  mere  fable,  suggested 
by  the  former.  Some  commentator  on  Shakspeare  has 
traced  it  back  u  to  a  pagan  custom  of  the  same  kind  during 
the  Lupercalia  feasts  of  Pan  and  Juno,  celebrated  in  the 
month  of  February  by  the  Romans.  We  are  further  told 
that,  the  anniversary  of  St.  Valentine  happening  in  this 
month,  the  pious  promoters  of  Christianity  placed  this  custom 
under  his  patronage  in  order  to  indicate  the  notion  of  its 
pagan  origin.”  Unhappy  St.  Valentine!  But  we  must  re¬ 
member  that  formerly  there  was  something  sweet  and  poetical 
in  the  choosing  of  mates.  Now  we  are  thrilled  with  tender 
emotions  when  poor  Ophelia  sings  her 

r 

'‘Good  morrow  to  St.  Valentine’s-day.” 

But  somehow,  romance  dies  out  in  our  material  age ;  and 
beautiful  superstitions  give  place  either  to  cold  practical  knowl¬ 
edge,"  or  degenerate  into  farcical  caricatures.  What  a  differ¬ 
ence  between  the  rapturous  and  bashful  exchange  of  vows 
pledged  by  the  youth  and  maidens  in  good  old  times,  before 
reading  and  writing  came  in  fashion,  and  the  celebrated  Valen¬ 
tine  composed  by  the  younger  Mr.  Weller!  The  vulgariza- 


370 


CARICATURES. 


tion  of  the  custom  has  been  gradual.  Instead  of  the  song¬ 
singing  invitations  to  love,  under  cold  windows, 

“All  in  the  morning  Tbetime,” 

lovers  began,  in  the  course  of  human  progress,  to  indite  gentle 
missives  to  their  sweethearts,  and  to  receive  autograph 
replies.  This  improved  method  was  eagerly  adopted  by  all 
such  as  dared  not  give  verbal  utterance  to  their  sweet  passion, 
as  well  as  by  those  who  had  private  malice  to  vent,  and 
sneaking  insults  to  offer.  Then  arose  the  manufacture  and 
merchandise  of  Valentines,  which  has  of  late  become  so  im¬ 
portant  a  branch  of  industry. 

From  early  in  February  until  late  in  March,  our  toy  shops  and 
periodical  and  fancy  “  depots”  appear  to  traffic  mainly  in  these 
exceptionable  articles.  Their  windows  flame  with  the  vulgar 
trash.  On  every  corner  u  Valentines  !”  u  Valentines  !”  stare 
us  in  the  face.  Some  are  very  choice  and  costly;  we  see  now 
and  then  one  inlaid  in  a  rich  casket,  and  prized  at  twenty-five 
or  even  fifty  dollars.  Others  are  made  of  fine  fancy  paper, 
adorned  with  flowers  in  water  colors,  or  prettily  filigreed; 
with  a  scroll  in  the  center  for  the  verses  expressive  of  the 
sender’s  sentiments. 

But  the  softer  heads  that  indulge  in  these  expensive  trifles, 
are  comparatively  few.  A  cheaper  luxury  satisfies  our  econo¬ 
mical  sentimentalists.  All  kinds  of  coarsely  ornamented  note- 
paper,  and  large  square  awkward  envelopes,  find  their  ready 
patrons.  Every  taste  is  suited,  from  the  sickliest  fastidious¬ 
ness,  to  the  most  clownish  ambition  for  flashy  colors  and  tawdry 
designs. 

In  opposition  to  the  sentimental  Valentines,  we  have  the 
gross  caricatures  which  have  done  more  than  anything  else  of 
this  kind  to  disgust  the  common  sense  and  good  taste  of  com¬ 
munity.  It  would  seem  that  only  the  most  vulgar  minds  could 
be  attracted  by  these ;  yet  the  large  traffic  in  them  shows  that 
vulgarity  is  an  extensive  element  in  the  popular  character. 
No  matter  how  indelicate  and  disgusting  one  of  these  specimens 


TIIE  DENTIST. 


371 


of  low  invention  may  be,  some  fool  will  be  found  to  purchase 
it,  and  send  it  to  another  individual  whom  he  either  wishes  to 
insult  or  expects  to  amuse. 

In  this  way  all  sorts  of  printed  immoralities  obtain  circula¬ 
tion.  In  this  way  cowards  take  revenge  for  imaginary  slights 
or  dignified  rejections.  In  this  way,  for  about  two  or  three 
weeks  in  each  year,  some  altogether  harmless  and  well-meaning 
people  have  been  subjected  to  gross  annoyances  and  serious 
taxes  for  postage.  Thanks  to  the  law-makers,  the  advance 
pay  requisition  will  hereafter  put  a  stop  to  that  species  of 
petty  swindling. 

Year  after  year  the  same  foolish  figures  and  senseless  mottos 
are  forwarded  from  the  same  simpletons  to  the  same  victims. 
We  know  a  musician  who  for  three  successive  seasons  has 
received  that  witched  caricature,  representing  a  shape — 

“  If  shape  it  could  be  called  that  shape  had  none, — ” 

all  nose  and  moustache,  blowing  a  trombone  considerably  larger 
than  himself. 

Our  dentist  usually  enjoys  a  visit  from  a  caricature  suited  to 
his  profession — a  tooth-drawer  with  his  little  head  in  a  vast 
chasm  representing  a  young  lady’s  mouth.  He  has  learned  to 
expect  it;  he  good-naturedly  looks  for  it,  about  Valentine’s 
day ;  and  merely  opening  it  when  it  comes,  to  see  that  it  is  the 
right  one,  he  quietly  tosses  it  into  the  fire. 

This  Valentine  sending  is  a  custom  like  that  of  a  certain 
drunken  revel  once  popular  in  Denmark, — u  More  honored  in 
the  breach  than  in  the  observance.”  It  is  ignored  by  good 
society.  And  as  for  the  victimized,  it  is  a  mark  of  common 
sense  to  bestow  every  Valentine  into  the  grate,  unopened,  as 
soon  as  received. 

It  is  estimated  that  not  less  than  half  a  million  of  these 
worse  than  worthless  missives  pass  through  the  post-offices  annu¬ 
ally.  The  cost  to  the  parties  purchasing  them,  forms  an  aggre¬ 
gate  of  about  $200,000.  Over  and  above  this  expense  is  the 
postage,  which  is  sometimes  double,  triple,  or  even  four  or 


IMMORAL  TENDENCY. 


five  times  the  ordinary  rates  of  single  letter  postage.  Form¬ 
erly  many  were  unpaid,  and  often  persons  to  whom  they  were 
addressed,  indignantly  refused  to  take  them  from  the  office. 
Thus  were  the  mails  not  only  uselessly  encumbered  with  the 
vile  trash,  but  quantities  of  the  “  rejected  addresses”  were 
subjected  to  the  formality  of  visiting  the  Dead  Letter  Office, 
where  they  finally  met  with  that  destruction  they  so  clearly 
merited.  This  abuse  of  the  post-office  privileges  is  unworthy 
of  any  nation  above  the  capacity  of  monkeys. 

The  immoralities  circulated  and  encouraged  by  Valentines 
cannot  be  estimated.  Statistics  would  fail  to  arrive  at  the 
amount  of  vice  engendered  by  this  pernicious  breed.  One  of 
the  worst  evils  that  owe  their  origin  to  this  cause,  is  the  tempta¬ 
tion  laid  in  the  way  of  post-office  clerks.  A  Valentine  is  often 
the  first  provocation  to  crime.  Numerous  instances  have  come 
under  the  observation  of  the  writer,  in  which  persons  con¬ 
victed  of  robbing  the  mails,  trace  back  their  transgressions  to 
no  more  serious  a  fault  than  that  of  peeping  into  one  of  these 
silly  missives.  They  are  often  carelessly  sealed,  and  easily 
opened  by  third  parties  without  discovery. 

Imagine  a  young  man  intrusted  with  the  care  of  a  village 
post-office.  He  is  interested  in  Miss  A.  He  believes  she 
encourages  his  sentiments.  He  hopes  her  proud  father  will 
some  day  encourage  him  as  an  eligible  suitor  for  his  daughter’s 
hand.  Still  he  is  subject  to  desponding  and  jealous  doubts. 
And  when,  one  evening  in  the  middle  of  February,  a  Valen¬ 
tine  addressed  to  his  paragon  strikes  his  eye  as  he  is  assorting 
the  mails,  an  indescribable  pang  shoots  through  his  heart.  He 
wonders  who  sent  it.  Tom  Bellows  is  at  first  suspected,  but 
the  handwriting  differs  from  Tom’s.  u  Can  it  be  Robert  Cart¬ 
wright?”  says  the  distressed  clerk.  u  He  is  partial  to  Miss 
A.,  and  she  seems  pleased  with  him.  What  can  he  be  writing 
to  her  ?” 

Such  thoughts  perplex  the  young  man’s  brain.  The  Valen¬ 
tine  is  not  taken  from  the  office  that  evening ;  and  when  all  is 
quiet,  he  draws  it  once  more  out  of  the  box,  and  again  ex- 


/ 


CONSCIENCE  OVERPOWERED.  373 

amines  tlie  superscription.  It  is  certainly  Cartwright’s  writing. 
u  0  dear !”  sighs  the  clerk,  u  how  easy  I  could  open  it,  and 
nobody  know  it !”  Aching  with  curiosity,  but  calling  moral 
principle  and  self-denial  to  his  aid,  he  returns  the  missive  to  the 
box,  and  goes  to  bed.  But  sleep  is  out  of  the  question.  lie 
is  awake,  thinking  about  the  Valentine,  and  those  supposed  to 
be  immediately  interested  therein.  “  I  wonder  if  I  could 
open  it  l”  he  says  to  himself.  u  I’ve  half  a  mind  to  try.” 

He  gets  up,  strikes  a  light,  and  a  moment  later  the  Valen¬ 
tine  is  in  his  hand.  “  If  it  comes  open,”  says  he,  “  I’ll  seal 
it  again  without  reading  it.  I  only  want  to  see  if  it  can  be 
done  without  having  it  show  afterwards.”  Instantly  he  starts 
back.  The  Valentine  is  open  !  Beally,  he  did  not  mean  to 
do  it ;  it  came  open  so  much  easier  than  he  expected !  Al¬ 
though  it  is  night,  and  he  is  alone,  he  cannot  help  looking 
over  his  shoulder  to  assure  himself  that  the  grim  individual 
watching  him,  exists  only  in  his  imagination.  “  Well,”  thinks 
he,  u  it’s  done,  and  who  knows  it  ?  What’s  the  harm,  as  long 
as  I’m  going  to  seal  it  up  again  ? — and  after  all,  I  don’t  see 
that  it  will  be  much  worse  just  to  see  if  there  is  any  name  to 
it,  provided  I  don’t  read  the  rest.” 

Thus  excusing  himself,  he  profanes  the  sacred  interior  of 
the  missive,  and  finds  the  suspicious  signature — “  Robert.” 
Trembling  at  the  temptation  to  read  more,  he  hastily  folds 
the  sheet,  and  returns  it  to  the  envelope.  But  the  next  mo¬ 
ment  it  is  out  again,  and  he  is  reading  with  flushed  cheek  and 
burning  eye,  the  tender  words  that  Robert  C.  has  written  to 
Miss  A. 

“  All  this  hath  a  little  dashed  his  spirits  and  he  returns 
to  bed  feverish  and  restless.  In  spite  of  his  reason,  which 
keeps  saying  stoutly,  “  what’s  the  harm  ?  nobody  will  know 
it,”  he  suffers  greatly  in  conscience.  But  the  Valentine  is 
taken  from  the  office,  and  the  profanation  of  its  mystery  re¬ 
mains  unsuspected.  And  in  a  few  days  another  Valentine 
appears,  addressed  to  Robert  Cartwright.  The  hand-writing, 
32 


374 


INCITEMENT  TO  DISHONESTY. 


although  disguised,  is  alarmingly  like  Miss  A/s.  By  this 
time  the  clerk’s  jealousy  has  eaten  up  his  conscience. 

“  There’s  no  more  harm  in  opening  two  than  in  opening 
one/’  whispers  the  devil  in  his  ear. 

“  I  believe  you/’  says  the  clerk ;  “  but  I  may  yet  be  found 
out.” 

“  No  danger/’  says  the  devil;  “only  be  careful.” 

He  is  too  ready  to  adopt  the  suggestion.  He  is  excusable, 
he  thinks,  under  the  circumstances.  The  Valentine  is  accord¬ 
ingly  opened  and  read.  Deliberation  and  forethought  add 
gravity  to  the  offence.  The  clerk  has  unconsciously  blunted 
his  moral  perceptions,  and  weakened  his  moral  strength ;  and 
he  is  now  prepared  to  open  regular  letters  passing  through  his 
hands.  At  first  it  is  jealousy  and  rivalry  that  tempt  his  curi¬ 
osity.  Then  other  matters  of  interest  entice  him,  untiV one 
day  he  discovers,  in  no  little  consternation,  that  he  has  thrust 
his  fingers  into  a  nest  of  bank-notes  ! 

“Well,  after  all,”  says  he,  “Mr.  B.  is  rich;  he  won’t  mind 
the  loss ;  it’s  only  a  trifle  with  him.  While  to  me,  the  sum 
is  considerable.  If  I  don’t  keep  up  appearances  with  Bob 
Cartwright,  I  might  as  well  be  out  of  the  world.  I’ve  a  right 
to  live ;  and  destroying  this  letter  and  appropriating  its  con¬ 
tents,  is  just  nothing  at  all,  if  I  don’t  get  found  out.  But 
I’m  safe  enough — I’m  the  very  last  person  to  be  suspected.” 

The  career  of  this  young  man  need  not  be  traced  further. 

Nor  need  the  subject  of  Valentines  be  pursued.  We  have 
written  enough  to  show  that  they  are  the  offspring  of  weak 
sentimentalism  or  foolish  buffoonery;  an  encumbrance  to  the 
mails,  an  annoyance  to  those  who  receive  them,  a  tax  to  all 
parties,  and  a  temptation  to  post-office  clerks ;  and  withal,  im¬ 
becilities  and  immoralities  which  all  worthy  citizens  should 
take  every  occasion  to  discountenance,  and  banish  from  civil¬ 
ized  society. 


CHAPTER  XXIX. 


^  THE  CLAIRVOYANT  DISCOVERY. 

A  short  time  after  the  detection  of  tlie  New  Haven  mail 
robber,  a  gentleman  from  the  town  of  W.  called  upon  the 
post  master  at  Hartford,  to  say  that  he  had  some  weeks  since 
mailed  a  letter  at  the  post-office  in  the  town  where  he  resided, 
addressed  to  a  firm  in  Hartford;  and  containing  a  sum  of 
money,  and  that  the  letter  had  never  been  received. 

On  examining  his  records,  the  post  master  ascertained  that 
no  bill  had  been  received  from  the  office  where  the  letter  was 
mailed  corresponding  with  the  date  of  the  mailing,  and  that 
consequently  the  letter,  so  far  as  his  records  could  show,  had 
never  reached  his  office. 

As  the  time  of  this  loss  happened  at  the  period  when  the 
mail  robber  was  committing  depredations  from  day  to  day, 
and  as  the  post-bill  was  missing,  the  Hartford  post  master  ex¬ 
pressed  the  opinion  that  the  letter  had  very  probably  fallen 
into  the  hands  of  the  mail  robber,  although  New  Haven  was 
off  the  route  on  which  the  letter  should  go,  and  the  package 
of  letters  could  not  have  got  there  without  having  been  mis- 
sent. 

This  theory  was  entirely  unsatisfactory  to  the  gentleman v 
who  mailed  the  letter,  and  he  left  Hartford  with  the  convic¬ 
tion  that  he  would  be  compelled  to  endure  the  loss  of  his 
money  with  such  philosophy  as  he  could  summon  to  his  aid. 

But  hope  soon  succeeds  fear,  as  daylight  follows  darkness, 

(375) 


376  A  POST  MASTER  PUZZLED. 

and  before  many  days  the  gentleman  in  search  of  his  money 
again  called  at  the  post-office  in  Hartford,  that  being  the  im¬ 
portant  port  in  his  voyage  of  discovery. 

It  was  very  evident  that  his  mind  was  somewhat  11  exer¬ 
cised/'  and  the  ominous  tone  in  which  he  requested  the  post 

master  to  meet  him  immediately,  at  room  No. -  at  the 

hotel  where  his  name  was  entered,  made  it  clear  that  a  reve¬ 
lation  of  no  slight  importance  was  about  to  be  made. 

The  post  master  told  him  he  would  accompany  him  imme¬ 
diately,  and  started  with  his  eager  friend  for  the  appointed 
place.  During  their  walk  nothing  was  said  on  the  great  sub¬ 
ject-matter,  probably  because  it  was  deemed  too  solemn  in  its 
nature  to  be  broached  amid  the  bustle  and  jar  of  a  crowded 
street. 

The  hotel  was  soon  reached,  and  the  communicator  of  the 
u  latest  intelligence"  ascended  the  stairs  to  the  room  where 
the  gentleman  accompanying  him  would  be  called  on  to  listen 
to  the  disclosures  about  to  be  made,  and  take  such  action 
thereon  as  circumstances  might  seem  to  require. 

After  pointing  solemnly  to  a  chair,  declaring  by  such  dumb 
show  that  he  desired  the  post  master  to  be  seated,  and  then 
taking  a  chair  himself  and  sitting  thereon  so  as  to  face  the 
person  with  whom  he  was  conversing,  he  deliberately  asked — 

“  Do  you  believe  in  clairvoyance  ?" 

What  an  unexpected  question !  And  how  should  such  a 
question  be  noticed  ?  Certain  it  was  that  among  all  the  laws 
in  relation  to  the  Post-Office  Department,  and  the  rules  and 
regulations  for  its  government,  minute  and  circumstantial  as 
they  were,  not  one  word  could  be  found  instructing  the  officers 
of  this  branch  of  Government  what  they  should  do  in  the 
matter  of  clairvoyance.  Even  Ben  Franklin  himself,  who 
was  u  par  excellence ”  the  electrical  Post  Master  General,  had 
never  issued  an  order  bearing  on  this  subtle  subject.  And 
here,  in  this  hotel  room,  where,  at  a  great  many  different  times, 
a  great  many  different  kinds  of  spirits  had  entered  a  great 
many  different  kinds  of  persons,  this  official  in  a  great  busi- 


CURIOSITY  SHOP. 


377 


ness  Department,  dealing  constantly  with  the  practicalities  of 
life,  and  without  law,  rules,  or  regulations  to  tell  him  what  he 
should  do  in  the  emergency,  was  met  with  the  question  pro¬ 
posed,  in  a  sepulchral  voice, — “Do  you  believe  in  clair¬ 
voyance  ?” 

Was  it  his  duty  to  discuss  with  the  questioner  the  “  Odic 
force,”  and  “  Biology”  and  “  Psychology,”  and  all  the  other 
theories  connected  with  the  doctrines  of  spiritualism  ?  Must 
post  masters  be  also  masters  of  mental  science,  and  of  things 
in  heaven  and  earth  never  dreamed  of  in  the  philosophy  of 
the  great  mass  of  mankind  ?  Because  they  have  to  deal  with 
the  transmission  of  intelligence  to  different  parts  of  the  earth, 
must  they  also  take  charge  of  intelligence  coming  from  un¬ 
known  regions,  “  out  of  space,  out  of  time  ?” 

The  question,  however,  was  before  him,  and  the  post  master 
replied  that  he  had  heard  of  some  strange  things  connected 
with  clairvoyance. 

Seemingly  satisfied  with  this  reply,  the  gentleman  went  on 
to  say  that  he  had  been  very  anxious  to  know  what  had  be¬ 
come  of  his  letter,  and  had  therefore  consulted  a  clairvoyant. 

Some  locations  are  blessed  with  a  gifted  seer,  or  more  gene¬ 
rally  seeress,  whose  mind  at  inspired  intervals  is  a  complete 
“curiosity  shop”  of  the  universe — who  can  tell  the  where¬ 
abouts  of  a  lost  thimble  or  teaspoon,  who  can  inform  the 
anxious  inquirer  who  committed  the  last  murder,  and  who  can 
describe  to  eager  listeners  the  manner  in  which  people  con¬ 
duct  voiceless  conversation  in  Saturn,  and  how  they  fight  in 
Mars,  and  how  they  make  love  in  Yenus.  Or  the  gifted  one, 
descending  rapidly  to  earth,  can  prescribe  a  remedy  for  any 
ill  that  flesh  is  heir  to, — and  all  these  wonders  are  performed 
for  a  moderate  pecuniary  compensation,  and  with  the  praise¬ 
worthy  object  of  aiding  and  enlightening  “suffering  hu¬ 
manity.” 

Our  inquiring  friend  was  so  fortunate  as  to  reside  in  one  of 
these  localities,  and  his  mission  to  the  post  master  was  that  of 
rehearsing  the  discoveries  of  the  Priestess. 

32  * 


378 


WHISKERS  AND  JEWELRY. 


He  stated  that  the  information  given  by  the  clairvoyant 
lady  was  so  minute  and  distinct  as  to  leave  a  strong  impression 
of  its  truthfulness  on  his  mind.  That  she  traced  the  letter 
from  the  time  it  was  put  in  the  office — saw  it  placed  in  the 
mail  bag,  saw  the  bag  taken  from  the  office,  saw  every  station 
where  it  stopped — saw  it  taken  into  the  Hartford  office — saw 
it  opened  there,  saw  a  clerk  take  the  letter,  open  it,  and  on 
finding  that  it  contained  a  number  of  bank-bills,  put  said  let¬ 
ter  in  a  drawer  of  his,  and  then  lock  the  drawer. 

Farther  than  this,  the  Seeress  declared  that  said  clerk  wore 
large  whiskers,  and  a  large  gold  ring,  and  that  he  resided  in 
Front  Street. 

In  addition  to  these  facts  the  lady  declared  that  the  letter 
thus  opened,  with  the  bills  still  in  it,  was  yet  remaining  in  the 
locked  drawer  of  the  delinquent  clerk. 

Having  carefully  repeated  this  train  of  circumstantial  evi¬ 
dence,  pointing  so  distinctly  to  a  certain  culprit,  the  gentleman 
then  commenced  interrogating  the  head  of  the  Hartford  post- 
office  : — 

“  Have  you,  sir,”  said  he,  a  a  clerk  in  your  employment 
who  wears  whiskers  ?” 

The  witness  was  compelled,  on  the  part  of  some  of  his 
clerks  at  least,  to  plead  guilty  to  this  first  count  in  the  indict¬ 
ment  from  an  invisible  Grand  Jury.  As  whiskers  are  not  an 
expensive  article  of  luxury,  even  post-office  clerks  can  afford 
to  wear  them. 

“  Have  you,”  continued  the  counsel  for  the  unknown  pro¬ 
secutor,  “a  clerk  who  wears  large  whiskers  and  a  large  gold 
ring  ?” 

The  reply  to  this  query  was  not  equally  satisfactory,  for  the 
witness  averred  that  his  clerks  were  decidedly  not  given  to  jew¬ 
elry;  and  as  to  gold,  they  felt  that  they  could  invest  it  more 
usefully  than  in  the  purchase  of  mammoth  finger-rings. 

“  Have  you,”  continued  the  pertinacious  querist,  “  a  clerk 
who  lives  in  Front  Street  ?” 

Here  again  the  answer  was  not  gratifying,  for  the  witness 


THE  SPIRITS  AT  FAULT. 


379 


declared  that  to  the  best  of  his  knowledge,  no  clerk  of  his  had, 
whether  with  or  without  whiskers,  or  whether  with  or  without 
a  stupendous  finger-ring,  made  Front  Street  illustrious  by 
residing  therein. 

Notwithstanding  the  discrepancy,  the  gentleman  went  on 
with  his  inquiries  : — 

u  Have  you  a  clerk  in  your  employment  who  has  a  drawer 
of  which  he  keeps  the  key  ?” 

The  reply  to  this  question  was  such  as  to  meet  the  wishes 
of  the  querist,  and  he  was  told  that  there  was  more  than  one 
such  clerk  in  his  office. 

u  Then,”  said  the  gentleman,  “  I  demand  that  you  have 
those  drawers  opened,  and  their  contents  examined  !” 

Notwithstanding  the  urgent  desire  of  the  person  who  had 
reposed  such  confidence  in  the  revelations  of  the  female 
informer,  the  post  master  peremptorily  declined  to  take  a  sin¬ 
gle  step  implying  a  doubt  as  to  the  integrity  of  his  clerks,  on 
the  mere  strength  of  clairvoyant  testimony. 

Argument  was  in  vain,  and  the  disappointed  letter  seeker 
left  Hartford,  thinking  in  all  probability  that  General  Pierce 
would  have  done  better  to  have  given  the  charge  of  the  office 
there  to  some  person  more  willing  to  accommodate  the  public  ! 

Some  time  after  this,  the  Special  Agent  met  the  post  mas¬ 
ters  of  New  Haven  and  Hartford,  in  pursuance  of  instructions 
from  the  Department,  for  the  purpose  of  distributing  the  funds 
taken  from  the  depredator,  among  those  who  had  lost  by  the 
robberies. 

On  examining  the  money  found  on  the  person  of  the  robber, 
there  were  discovered  the  seven  bank-bills,  all  of  one  denomi¬ 
nation,  lost  by  our  clairvoyant-seeking  friend  !  The  bills  not 
only  agreed  with  his  description,  but,  what  made  the  case  still 
stronger,  was  the  fact  that  no  other  bills  of  the  same  denomi¬ 
nation  and  bank  were  claimed  by  any  other  party. 

How  it  was  that  u  the  Spirits”  gave  the  distinguished 
seeress  such  a  complete  tissue  of  falsehoods,  will  probably 
remain  unknown  until  the  u  new  philosophy”  becomes  better 


380 


FACTS  AGAINST  THEORY. 


understood,  or  until  tlie  Spirit  of  Franklin,  who  it  is  said  pre¬ 
sides  over  communications  from  the  upper  spheres,  appoints 
some  Special  Agent  to  investigate  the  causes  of  failure. 

The  gentleman  who  unexpectedly  regained  his  money,  may 
still  entertain  his  old  affection  for  clairvoyance,  hut  he  cannot 
deny  that  the  poet  was  right  when  he  exclaimed, 


“  Optics  sharp  it  needs,  I  ween, 
To  see  what  is  not  to  be  seen.” 


CHAPTER  XXX. 


POETICAL  AND  HUMOROUS  ADDRESSES  UPON  LETTERS. 

The  exterior,  as  well  as  the  interior  of  a  letter  is  sometimes 
made  the  vehicle  of  sentiment,  affection,  wit,  fnn,  and  the 
like,  which,  thus  riding  as  outside  passengers,  display  their 
beauties  to  the  gaze  of  those  connected  with  post-offices.  In 
such  instances,  it  may  be  that  the  writer’s  ideas,  gushing  from 
his  pen,  have  overflowed  their  bounds,  and  spread  themselves 
upon  the  usually  dry  surface  of  the  epistle.  It  must  be  a 
pleasing  relief  to  post-office  clerks,  wearied  with  the  monoto¬ 
nous  task  of  turning  up  innumerable  names,  to  find  the  flowers 
of  fancy  and  imagination  supplanting  the  endless  catalogue  of 
Smiths  and  Browns  which  ordinarily  meet  their  eyes.  Below 
are  a  few  specimens  of  these  embellished  addresses. 

The  first  is  probably  from  some  home-sick  miner.  It  was 
mailed  at  San  Francisco,  California.  His  wife  and  children 
have  no  doubt  derived,  long  ere  this,  the  pleasure  which  he 
anticipated  for  them,  in  the  perusal  of  the  letter : — 

Go,  sheet,  and  carry  all  my  heart ; 

(I  would  that  thou  couldst  carry  me,) 

Freighted  with  love  thou  wilt  depart 
Across  the  land,  across  the  sea. 

O’er  thee  will  bend  a  loving  face, 

To  thee  will  listen  little  ears ; 

Thou  wilt  be  welcomed  in  my  place, 

And  thou  wilt  bring  both  smiles  and  tears. 

(381) 


382 


OUTSIDE  RHYMES. 


Across  the  land,  across  the  sea, 

Thy  homeward  course  thou  wilt  pursue, 

I  may  not  see  them  welcome  thee, 

Yet  know  I  well  their  hearts  are  true. 

Then  swiftly  go,  thou  ocean  steed ; 

Roll  on,  ye  rapid  iron  wheels, 

Beai’ing  away,  with  careless  speed, 

The  message  that  my  soul  reveals. 

The  address  followed;  in  plain  prose. 

Rail  road,  steamboats,  horses,  stages, 
All  of  you  are  paid  your  wages, 

All  of  you,  for  nothing  better 
Than  to  take  this  little  letter. 

Should  the  document  miscarry, 

Uncle  Sam  will  see  “  old  Harry  !” 

To  prevent  this  dread  collision, 

I  present  unto  your  vision 

State,  county,  and  between,  the  town, 

Indiana,  Nashville,  Brown. 

For  Mrs.  Jane  Eliza  Brent, 

This  is  enough, — now  “let  her  went.” 


Here  is  a  specimen  in  a  less  elevated  strain  : — 

Robber,  shouldst  thou  seize  this  letter, 

Break  it  not;  there’s  nothing  in’t, 

Nought  for  which  thou  wouldst  be  better: 
Note  of  bank,  or  coin  from  mint. 

There  is  nothing  but  affection, 

And  perhaps  a  little  news  ; 

When  you’ve  read  this,  on  reflection, 

Take  or  leave  it  as  you  choose. 

\ 

If  you  should  conclude  to  leave  it, 

I  would  like  to  have  it  go 
To  Seth  Jones,  who  will  receive  it 
In  the  town  we  call  Glasgow, 

And  the  state  of  old  Kentucky, 

(There’s  no  rhyme  for  that  but  “  lucky.”) 


OUTSIDE  RHYMES. 


383 


The  following  seems  to  have  been  the  superscription  to  a 
dun,  written  u  more  in  sorrow  than  in  anger.” 

A  hard  old  hoss  is  Charley  Cross, 

And  I  don’t  care  who  knows  it ; 

He’s  borrowed  an  X,  and  never  expects 
I’ll  dun  him,  so  he  goes  it. 

He’ll  find  he’s  mistaken,  and  won’t  save  his  bacon, 

Unless  he  sends  me  the  tin : 

In  the  city  of  Penn,  somewhere  is  his  den ; 

I  can’t  tell  what  state  he  is  in. 

Perhaps  he’s  “slewed,”  or  may  be,  pursued 
By  some  other  man  he  owes,  ' 

Whichever  it  is,  when  this  meets  his  phiz, 

My  account  he  had  better  close. 

#  ^ 

The  street  and  number  were  subjoined ;  but  it  is  to  be 

feared  that  the  “old  hoss”  proved  hard-bitted,  and  would 
have  nothing  to  do  with  u  checks ,”  except  those  in  his  favor. 


Post  master  dear, 

I  greatly  fear 

That  this  letter  never  will  go 
To  him  I  write, 

Unless  to  your  signt 
The  name  I  plainly  show. 

’Tis  Thomas  Brown, 

The  name  of  his  town 
Is  Hartford;  the  county  the  same, 
Land  of  steady  habits, 

Famed  for  onions  and  rabbits, 
The  place  whence  once  I  came. 


This  is  apparently  an  outpouring  of  the  sorrows  of  a  victim 
to  the  Maine  law,  and  was  mailed  in  that  state  : — 

Oh  John  O’Brien,  half  of  you  is  better  than  the  whole, 

For  that  would  be  a  Demi-John,  my  sorrow  to  console. 

Oh  dear  O’Brien,  briny  tears  into  my  whiskers  roll, 

To  think  that  you  live  in  New  York,  while  here  is  not  a  soul 
To  stand  treat;  or  in  other  words,  to  “pass  the  flowing  bowl.” 


384 


OUTSIDE  RHYMES. 


All  flesh  is  grass  :  all  paper’s  rags, 
(So  it  is  said  by  wicked  wags.) 

But  I  would  like  to  pass  along 
Among  th’  epistolary  throng, 

Till  I  reach  the  town  of  Kent 

\ 

Nor  to  a  paper  mill  be  sent, 

And  come  to  an  untimely  end, 

Before  I  find  my  writer’s  friend  ; 
Whose  name  is  Putnam,  or  Sam  Put, 
In  the  old  State  Connecticut. 


This  is  going  to  my  tailor, 

A  trust- worthy  man  is  he  ; 

Like  a  clock,  for  ever  ticking, 

He  keeps  his  account  with  me. 

To  send  my  bill  I  here  request  him 
For  the  br — ches  he  has  made : 
Thanks  to  good  old  uncle  Samuel, 
He  must  send  it  on  pre-paid. 

(The  address  was  in  prose.) 


When  you  C  this  letter, 

You’d  better  letter  B. 

For  it  is  going  over 
Unto  Tom  Me G-. 

In  the  town  of  Dover, 

State  of  Tennessee. 

Address  on  a  Valentine  : 

Mr.  Post  Master,  keep  this  well, 
for  every  line  is  going  to  tell 
how  much  I  love  my  Bill  Martell, 

Syracuse,  N.  Y. 


I  want  this  letter  to  go  right  straight 
To  Wilmington  city  in  Delaware  State, 

To  Daniel  B.  Woodard,  a  cooper  by  trade; 

He  can  make  as  good  barrels  as  ever  were  made. 


OUTSIDE  RHYMES. 


385 


Swiftly  hasten,  Postman’s  organ, 
Bear  this  onward  to  its  fate, 

In  New  York  to  George  C.  Morgan; 
John  Street,  No.  78. 


East  10th  Street,  City  of  New  York, 
Two  hundred  fifty-three — 

Is  where  of  all  this  little  work, 

This  moment  ought  to  be. 

And  could  I  to  the  lightning’s  wing 
Or  telegraphic  wire, 

Attach  it  by  a  silken  string, 

’Twould  be  my  fond  desire. 

But  since  to  do  the  swift  exploit 
Each  other  power  must  fail, 

I  send  to  Emily  Bailey  Hoyt, 

With  pleasure — in  the  mail. 


I  know  a  man,  his  name  is  Dunn  ! 

He  lives  in  splendid  style : 

But  if  he’d  pay — say  half  his  debts, 
He’d  lose  ’bout  all  his  “pile” 

He  stops  in  Charlestown,  old  Bay  State, 
Quite  near  to  Bunker  Hill, 

Where  many  a  brave  man  met  his  fate, 
Dispensing  Putnam  Pill. 


A  VALENTINE  ADDRESS. 

Lizzie,  they  say  the  little  birds 
Are  making  matches  now ; 
(Warranted  to  keep  in  any  climate.) 
A  good  example  they  have  set 
Which  I  would  like  to  follow ; 

So  if  you  have  a  heart  to  let, 

I  hope  to  know  to-morrow. 


33 


386 


OUTSIDE  RHYMES. 


On  the  river  Hudson, 

In  the  town  of  Troy, 
Lives  Miss  Sarah  Judson 
Full  of  life  and  joy. 

’Tis  for  that  sweet  creature 
This  epistle’s  meant ; 

If  it  does  but  reach  her, 

I  shall  be  content. 


The  following  address  was  found  on  a  missive  which  passed 
through  the  New  York  office  on  or  about  the  14th  of  Feb¬ 
ruary,  and  was  secured  with  a  seal  representing  Cupid  taking 
aim  at  one  of  his  victims  with  a  revolver : 

Cupid’s  mother  has  supplied  him 
With  “  six  shooters”  for  his  bow ; 

When  he’d  arrows  I  defied  him ; 

Now,  alas  !  he’s  laid  me  low. 

Here  I  send,  done  up  in  paper, 

Fanny  May,  my  heart  to  you. 

I  think  you  will  keep  it  safer 
Than  I’ve  done, — so  now  adieu. 

The  town  and  state  were  in  prose. 


Send  this,  Post  Master,  if  you  are  willing, 

To  John  M.  P - ,  a  darned  old  villain. 

Let  it  go  without  Postage  Bounty, 

To  Union  Valley,  Cortland  County. 


Take  me  along  in  haste  I  pray, 

To  John  O’Donnel  without  delay. 

The  postage  is  paid,  there  is  no  excuse 
If  I’m  not  delivered  at  Syracuse. 


Let  nought  impede  thy  progress, 

While  on  thy  journey  going, 

And  quickly  may’st  thou  be  received, 

By  John,  or  Pardon  Bowen, 

Albany,  N.  Y. 


ODD  SUPERSCRIPTIONS. 


387 


Miss  Kate  May, 

Somewhere  in  New  York  City. 

I  hope  to  goodness  she  will  receive 

this  missive. 


John  M.  Simpson,  Dedham, 

Mill  Village, 

Mass. 

in  care  of  John  Lee, 

the  man  that  speaks  through 

his  nose  or  with  the  crucket  foot. 


For  Nevel  Kelly,  Degrau  St., 
next  shanty  to  the  river  in  the  rear 
of  the  grave-stone  yard, 

Brooklyn,  N.  Y. 


New  Haven,  post-office 
State  of  Connecticut 

Brown  Street 

Number  58 

For  elen  Rumford 
under  care  of  mister  alien 

And  if  the  main  law  folks  up  there  don’t  like  the  name  of  Rumford 
i  can’t  help  it. 

for 

Brigded  Livingston  no  16  post 
office  city  Hartford,  State  of 
Cannada  or  three-ways  to  No  39 
America. 


To  Thos.  Walsh  362  3rd  Avenue 

or  if  not  there  (New  York 

To  the  care  of  America 

Jerrimiah  0  Droyer — No — 173 

South  street  South  Troy  New  York 
To  be  forwarded 
To  Mary  Dohorty 


(For  Thos.  Walsh 
(in  haste  America 


388 


ODD  SUPERSCRIPTIONS. 


To  Mr.  Leedfara,  wlio  runs  the  ferry 
over  across  to  Long  Island  for  Mary 
Maguire  New  York. 


Mistress  Crovor  Keeps 
a  stand  in  the 
hutson  dippo — New  York 
lives  in  reed  street. 


Direct  this  letter  to 
315  Second  floor 
Back  room  for  Kate 
Barrey  Washington  street 
New  York 
in  heast. 


To  the  Lady  that  wears  a  white  cloak  Straw 
Bonnett  trimmed  with  Blue  &  wears  a  blue 
veil,  brown  or  striped  dress 

No  —  Bleeker  street 
New  York. 


To  Don  Tom  Rigan 

and  Monseer  Birch — 

To  New  York  city  straight  let  this  ’ere  letter  go 
Right  to  der  corner  of  der  Bowery  and  Grand 
Into  Jim  Story’s  place  which  every  one  must  know 
Onto  I  forgot  his  name’s  old  oyester  stand. 

The  blades  it’s  intended  for  are  hearty  and  frisky, 
You’ll  find  backe  of  der  bar,  wh@i?e  yer  give  dis  letter. 

The  postman  may  find  himself  a  cocktail  der  better. 

L  _ 

P.  0.  No  9  Albany  Street 
Boston  State  of  Mass  for  Michael 
Ryan  tailor  and  if  he  do  not 
live  here  i  expect  that  the 
Person  who  will  live  here  will 
forward  this  letter  to  him 
if  they  chance  to  know 
where  he  live. 


/ 


ODi;  SUPERSCRIPTIONS. 


359 


Mister  John  Shane 

Syracuse 
No  152  Salina  Street 
your  parents  are  here, 
and  state  New  York  city 
North  America. 


William  Doger  Syracuse 
Corner  of  James  and  Warren 
street  undago  county  state 
of  new  york — america — 
care  for  John  Burk  or 
Jeremiah  Burk  paid 
or  Else  where 


The  American  Girl  who 
wants  a  place,  329  Sixth 
Avenue,  up  two  flights  of 
Stairs,  Back  Boom. 


Thadeus  M.  Guerai  Esqr. 
son  of  Pat  Guerai,  Late  Manager 
of  the  Devon  estate,  County 
Limerick  Ireland,  and  husband 
of  Sarah  Coburn  Harding ; 

Niece  of  Major  Harding 
of  Harding  Grove,  County 
Limerick  Ireland — 

Care  of  B.  Douglass  &  Co. 

Charlestown 
S.  C. 


33* 


A 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 


ORIGIN  OF  THE  MAIL  COACH  SERVICE, 

The  greatest  improvement  in  the  English  mail  service, 
during  the  eighteenth  century,  was  the  introduction  of  mail 
coaches.  This  was  brought  about  by  the  energy  and  perse¬ 
verance  of  John  Palmer,  Esq.  Like  most  of  those  who 
introduce  great  improvements,  he  was  an  u  outsider,”  one  un¬ 
acquainted  by  business  habits  and  associations,  with  the  postal 
service. 

At  that  time  (about  1788)  stage  coaches,  with  passengers, 
traversed  the  country  over  all  the  principal  roads,  and  ran 
from  five  to  seven  miles  an  hour.  The  mails,  however,  had 
never  had  any  better  conveyance  than  that  of  a  horse  or  a  gig, 
managed  by  a  man  or  boy.  The  whole  mail  service  was  on  a 
most  irregular  footing ;  mail  robberies  were  frequent,  and  the 
speed  did  not  average  over  three  and  a  half  miles  an  hour. 

Mr.  Palmer’s  plan  was,  to  have  the  mails  transferred  to>  the 
stage  coaches,  that  the  swiftest  conveyance  which  the  country 
afforded  should  carry  the  mails.  For  so  obvious  an  improve¬ 
ment,  we  would  suppose  that  there  would  be  little  or  no  oppo¬ 
sition.  Parliamentary  Committees  were  appointed,  Post  Mas¬ 
ters  General  reported,  and  all  the  officials  were  against  it ! 
Statesmen  took  it  up ;  the  proposition  was  debated  in  Parlia¬ 
ment  ;  and,  after  many  years  of  persevering  labor,  Mr.  Palmer 
saw  his  plan  adopted. 

But  opposition  did  not  end  here.  There  were  more  reports 

(890) 


KEEN  SARCASM. 


39J 


against  it,  and  those  who  opposed  at  first  from  ignorance,  and 
a  belief  that  no  improvement  would  result,  now  kept  up  their 
opposition  from  a  dread  of  being  thought  false  prophets.  But 
there  were  those  who  appreciated  the  improvement,  and  Mr. 
Palmer  got  a  pension  from  Government  of  three  thousand 
pounds  a  year  for  life,  and  afterwards  a  grant  of  fifty  thousand 
pounds,  for  the  benefit  his  improvement  in  the  mail  service 
had  been  to  the  revenue  of  the  country. 

We  have,  from  a  well  known  post-office  reformer,*  a  nice 
piece  of  sarcasm  for  the  special  benefit  of  those  who  oppose 
great  improvements,  and  then  deny  their  value  after  they  have 
been  adopted  and  proved. 

A  report  from  the  English  Post  Master  General  says  : 11  From 
a  comparison  of  the  gross  produce  of  inland  postage  for  four 
months,  and  from  every  other  comparison  they  have  been  able 
to  make,  they  were  perfectly  satisfied  that  the  revenue  has 
been  very  considerably  decreased  by  the  plan  of  mail  coaches.” 

This  report  gives  the  opinions  of  the  Lords  of  the  Trea¬ 
sury,  and  enlarges  on  the  innumerable  inconveniences  which 
the  change  had  occasioned.  The  great  post-office  reformer, 
forty  years  after  this,  makes  the  following  comment : — 

“  Heavy  must  oe  the  responsibility  on  those  who  thus 
persisted  in  folly  and  mischief ;  and  wonderful  is  it  that  Mr. 
Palmer  should  have  been  able  to  beguile  the  Government  and 
the  legislature  into  sanctioning  his  mad  career  !  Who  was  the 
statesman,  unworthy  of  the  name,  that  thus  gave  the  rein  to 
audacity;  that  thus  became,  in  his  besotted  ignorance,  the 
tool  of  presumption  ?  Who  stood  god-father  to  the  vile  abor¬ 
tion,  and  insisted  on  the  admission  of  the  hideous  and  de¬ 
formed  monster  into  the  sacred  precincts  of  Lombard  Street, 
the  seat  of  perfection  ?  His  name— alas !  that  the  lynx 
should  be  guided  by  the  mole !  that  Samson  should  be  se¬ 
duced  by  Delilah !  Palinurus  allured  by  a  dream  ! — his  name 
was  William  Pitt.” 


*  Howland  Hill,  Esq. 


4 


/ 


EVASION  OF  THE  POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


CHAPTER  XXXII. 


Before  the  adoption  of  the  present  rates  of  postage,  much 
ingenuity  was  displayed  in  making  newspapers  the  vehicles  of 
such  information  as  should  legitimately  have  been  conveyed 


by  letters.  Various  devices  were  employed  to  effect  this 
object. 


As  the  law  strictly  prohibited  writing  upon  papers,  requiring 
that  such  newspapers  should  be  charged  with  letter  postage, 
the  problem  was,  to  convey  information  by  their  means  with¬ 
out  infringing  the  letter  of  the  law. 

Sometimes  a  sentence  or  a  paragraph  was  selected,  some  of 
the  letters  of  which  were  crossed  out  in  such  a  manner  that 
the  letters  left  legible  conveyed  the  meaning  which  the  ope¬ 
rator  intended.  By  such  transmuting  process,  pugnacious 
editorials  were  converted  into  epistles  of  the  mildest  and  most 
affectionate  description,  and  public  news  of  an  important  char¬ 
acter  not  unfrequently  contracted  into  a  channel  for  the  con¬ 
veyance  of  domestic  intelligence. 

As  the  constructions  of  the  law  on  this  subject,  by  the 
officers  of  the  Department,  became  more  and  more  stringent, 
the  most  amusing  and  ingenious  inventions  to  get  beyond  their 
reach  were  resorted  to. 

For  instance,  marking  an  advertisement  or  other  notice,  with 
a  pen  or  pencil,  having  been  declared  a  violation  of  law,  atten¬ 
tion  was  sometimes  called  to  such  notices,  by  cutting  round 
them  on  three  sides,  thus  making  a  sort  of  flap,  and  doubling 


(392) 


CHILDREN  AWL  WELL. 


393 


it  back  on  the  side  left  uncut.  In  one  case,  wbicb  now  occurs 
to  tlie  author,  a  notice  served  in  that  way,  thus  producing  a 
bole  in  the  paper,  had  the  strikingly  appropriate  caption  of 
“  A  good  Opening  \” 

The  vacancy  produced  in  the  paper,  in  such  a  case,  of  course 
attracted  the  attention  of  the  person  who  received  it,  and  that 
advertisement  was  sure  to  be  read,  if  no  other. 

Hieroglyphics  were  sometimes  employed  for  conveying  con¬ 
traband  ideas.  The  following  will  answer  as  a  specimen  of 
this  class  of  attempted  evasions.  It  was  neatly  drawn  on  the 
margin  of  a  newspaper  which  came  to  a  Western  post-office, 
from  a  town  in  New  England. 


The  meaning  will  of  course  be  readily  understood  by  the 
reader — “  Children  all  well !” 

Such  specimens  of  the  fine  arts  are  seldom  attempted  under 
the  present  low  rates  of  postage,  as  the  saving  of  two  cents 
would  hardly  pay  for  the  required  time  or  ffibor.  But  there 
are  those  even  now-a-days,  who,  for  that  paltry  consideration, 
are  found  willing  to  compromise  their  consciences,  if  indeed 
they  have  any,  by  resorting  to  some  of  the  less  laborious 
methods,  in  attempting  to  carry  out  their  prudential  designs. 


CHAPTER  XXXIII. 


POST  OFFICE  PAUL  PRYS. 

Legislative  enactments  have  been  found  no  less  neces¬ 
sary,  to  defend  the  sacredness  of  private  correspondence  from 
the  prying  eye  of  curiosity,  than  from  the  plundering  hand  of 
dishonesty. 

There  are  many  who  would  recoil  from  the  thought  of  rob¬ 
bing  a  letter  of  its  pecuniary  contents,  but  feel  no  compunc¬ 
tion  at  violating  its  secrecy  for  the  sake  of  indulging  an  idle 
or  a  malicious  inquisitiveness,  if  the  commission  of  the  deed 
can  be  concealed.  This  may  not  be  called  a  common  evil, 
and  yet  it  exists ;  and  it  is  one  against  which  Acts  of  Con¬ 
gress  have  been  levelled  almost  in  vain,  for  there  is  perhaps 
hardly  any  portion  of  the  laws  of  that  body  relative  to  the 
protection  of  correspondence,  through  the  mails,  about  which 
there  is  felt  so  great  a  degree  of  security. 

This  violation  of  the  first  principles  of  decency  and  pro¬ 
priety,  not  unfrequently  leads  to  results  more  disastrous  than 
those  which  are  caused  even  by  robbery  itself.  The  person, 
too,  who  indulges  himself  in  this  disgraceful  practice,  cannot 
be  sure  that  he  will  always  keep  clear  of  more  serious  misde¬ 
meanors.  He  who  pries  into  letters  for  one  purpose,  may  be 
led  to  pry  into  them  for  another.  When  one  has  become  ac¬ 
customed  to  tampering  with  letter  seals,  he  has  broken  through 
a  powerful  restraint  to  crime,  and  has  laid  himself  yet  more 
open  to  the  assaults  of  temptation. 


(394) 


PEYINGTON  POST-OFFICE. 


395 


Sometimes  a  state  of  things  exists  in  a  neighborhood  which 
clearly  shows  that  some  unauthorized  person  is  acquainted  with 
the  contents  of  many  of  the  letters  passing  through  the  post- 
office,  before  the  rightful  owners  have  received  them.  Secrets 
of  the  utmost  importance  are  suddenly  blazed  abroad,  and 
those  of  less  consequence  are  used  to  inflict  much  annoyance 
upon  the  persons  whom  they  concern.  Those  in  charge  of  the 
post-office  become  the  objects  of  suspicion,  and  the  inhabit¬ 
ants  of  the  infected  district,  if  they  are  unable  to  obtain  posi¬ 
tive  proof  of  unlawful  meddling  with  their  correspondence, 
at  least  show,  by  their  endeavors  to  prevent  their  letters  from 
going  through  the  dangerous  channel,  that  they  have  lost  their 
confidence  in  the  integrity  of  the  post  master,  or  of  his  assist¬ 
ants. 

For  instance, — Farmer  Haycroft’s  daughter  had  settled  the 
preliminaries  of  a  treaty  of  the  most  tender  description  with 
a  young  gentleman  of  a  neighboring  city,  though  without  the 
knowledge  and  contrary  to  the  wishes  of  the  parental  poten¬ 
tates  on  both  sides.  Their  happiness,  it  is  clear,  depended  on 
preserving  their  secret  inviolate.  Should  it  come  to  the  ears 
of  their  11  potent,  grave,  and  reverend  Seniors  ,”  a  storm  of 
wrath  might  be  expected  like  that  which  is  seen  when  two 
clouds,  heavily  charged,  unite  in  pouring  out  their  burden  of 
lightning,  wind,  and  rain. 

Therefore,  in  order  to  avoid  such  a  consummation,  inter¬ 
views  were  not  risked,  as  being  too  hazardous,  but  a  corres¬ 
pondence  was  carried  on  under  fictitious  names. 

Much  solicitude  was  felt  by  the  inquisitive  matron  who  pre¬ 
sided  over  the  Pryington  Post-Office,  to  know  who  “  Eliza¬ 
beth  Greene”  (the  nom  de  guerre  of  the  Haycroftian  dam¬ 
sel)  could  be.  So  she  cross-questioned  the  boy  who  inquired 
for  letters  for  the  aforesaid  Elizabeth,  but  he  was  decidedly 
non-committal.  And,  as  a  last  resort,  she  sent  her  servant- 
maid  to  follow  the  unwary  messenger,  and  see  where  he 
went.  She  returned  with  the  exciting  intelligence  that  Jane 


396 


A  SECRET  TEST. 


Haycroft  met  him  and  received  from  his  hands  the  letter  which 
the  boy  had  just  taken  from  the  office. 

This  information  but  aggravated  the  thirst  for  knowledge 
which  raged  in  the  breast  of  the  post  mistress,  and  she  in¬ 
wardly  resolved  that  she  would  in  some  way  unravel  the  mys¬ 
tery  that  lurked  under  the  name  of  “  Elizabeth  Greene.” 

The  town  was  shortly  after  astonished  with  the  news  of  the 
proposed  u  match,”  and  as  the  post-office  dame  was  not  sup¬ 
posed  to  deal  in  clairvoyance ,  the  inference  was  natural  that 
some  less  creditable  but  more  certain  method  had  been  adopt¬ 
ed  to  bring  the  important  fact  to  light. 

The  detection  of  supposed  guilt  in  cases  of  this  kind  was 
formerly  very  difficult,  and  heretofore  the  Special  Agents  had 
rather  undertake  the  investigation  of  a  dozen  cases  of  mail 
robbery  than  to  attempt  to  unearth  one  of  these  moles,  work¬ 
ing  under  ground,  and  gnawing  at  the  roots  of  their  neigh¬ 
bor’s  reputation  and  happiness.  Eor  these  Paul  Prys  gene¬ 
rally  leave  but  few  traces  behind  them  by  which  they  may  be 
ferreted  out,  however  strong  the  grounds  of  suspicion  may  be. 

Tests  have  been  devised,  however,  by  which  these  dealers 
in  contraband  knowledge  may  be  unerringly  pointed  out  and 
detected  in  their  contemptible  occupation.  A  letter  may  be 
opened,  read,  and  resealed  never  so  carefully,  yet  by  means  of 
these  tests  the  opening  can  be  satisfactorily  proved,  and  the 
opener  brought  to  justice,  at  least  so  far  as  a  removal  from 
office  can  answer  the  ends  of  punishment. 

A  knowledge  of  this  secret  plan  rests  solely  with  the  Post 
Master  General  and  his  Special  Agents,  and  it  can  only  be 
communicated  to  the  latter  under  the  most  positive  injunctions 
of  secrecy.  It  will  be  applied  in  all  cases  where  there  is  rea¬ 
sonable  ground  for  believing  that  correspondence  has  been 
tampered  with. 

The  legal  penalty  for  this  offence  is  five  hundred  dollars 
fine,  and  imprisonment  for  twelve  months. 


CHAPTER  XXXIV. 


SPECIAL  AGENTS. 

The  institution  of  Special  Agents  did  not  originate  in  tliis 
country.  At  a  comparatively  early  period  it  constituted  a 
part  of  the  British  postal  system,  and  these  Agents  are  termed 

Post-Office  Surveyors.”  This  corps  of  officials  has  ever  been 
considered  by  the  English  Government  one  of  the  most  im¬ 
portant  adjuncts  of  the  Post-Office  Department. 

In  the  early  history  of  the  Department  in  our  own  country 
persons  were  occasionally  employed,  in  cases  of  emergency,  to 
act  as  its  representatives,  and  to  exercise  temporary  supervi¬ 
sion  over  some  of  the  various  branches  of  the  mail  service ; 
but  the  Special  Agent  system,  as  it  now  exists,  was  first 
organized  in  the  year  1840,  while  the  Hon.  Amos  Kendall  was 
at  the  head  of  the  Department. 

The  number  of  Special  Agents  in  the  United  States  has 
been  gradually  increased  since  their  first  establishment,  and  is 
now  eighteen,  suitably  distributed  throughout  the  country, 
each  one  having  a  district  assigned  him  as  the  particular  field 
of  his  operations,  but  to  act  elsewhere  if  so  ordered. 

It  is  not  the  intention  to  enter  into  an  argument  for  the 
purpose  of  proving  the  usefulness  of  this  branch  of  the  De¬ 
partment.  If  this  has  not  been  shown  by  the  facts  recorded 
in  the  former  part  of  this  volume,  as  well  as  by  the  many  prom¬ 
inent  and  familiar  cases  all  over  the  country,  which  have 
been  so  successfully  conducted  by  other  members  of  the  corps, 
34  (397) 


398 


THE  u  TROJAN  HORSE.” 


it  would  be  in  vain  to  attempt  it  now.  I  would  only  say  a  few 
words  respecting  tlie  power  of  this  system,  to  prevent  crime. 

There  are  some  persons  in  the  world  of  firm  principles  and 
unbending  rectitude,  who  need  not  the  aid  of  outward  cir¬ 
cumstances  for  the  maintenance  of  an  upright  character.  But 
perhaps  the  majority  of  mankind  require  some  external  helps 
in  the  way  of  restraints,  from  public  opinion,  and  even  the 
threatenings  of  the  law.  On  such  the  fear  of  detection  fre¬ 
quently  acts  in  a  most  salutary  manner,  deterring  from  the 
commission  of  crime,  and  sometimes  leading  to  a  higher  mo¬ 
tive  for  right  conduct  than  apprehension  of  punishment. 

In  more  than  one  instance,  after  the  conclusion  of  some 
important  case  of  depredation,  I  have  been  informed  that 
money-letters,  passing  upon  other  routes  than  the  ones  under 
suspicion,  and  even  at  a  considerable  distance,  have  been  re¬ 
garded  with  a  reverence  never  felt  for  them  before.  A  portly 
envelope  was  considered  a  sort  of  Trojan  horse,  filled  with  the 
elements  of  destruction,  ready  to  overwhelm  the  explorer  of 
its  treacherous  recesses.  This  extraordinary  caution  was  owing, 
of  course,  to  the  knowledge  (which  often  gets  out  in  spite  of 
the  utmost  endeavors  to  prevent  it)  that  the  Special  Agent 
was  abroad ;  and  when  once  a  person  has  been  thoroughly  im¬ 
pressed  with  the  danger  of  tampering  with  the  forbidden 
thing,  he  does  not  soon  nor  easily  yield  to  the  whisperings  of 
the  tempter. 

The  duties  of  a  Special  Agent  of  the  Post-Office  Depart¬ 
ment  involve  a  constant  and  vigilant  supervision  of  all  its 
interests.  This  embraces  a  much  wider  range  of  action,  and 
requires  much  higher  qualifications  on  the  part  of  those  who 
undertake  it,  than  any  simply  “  detective”  service.  It  is 
believed  that  neither  Congress  nor  the  public  generally  attach 
such  a  degree  of  importance  to  the  office  in  'qi^stion  as  it 
really  possesses,  both  in  itself  and  in  the  estims^on  of  the 
Department.  This  is  perhaps  owing  to  th$  fact  that  so  great 
a  proportion  of  its  duties  have  of  late  been  connected  with  the 
investigation  of  cases  of  depredation  upon  the  rails.  This 


IMPORTANCE  OF  CAUTION. 


399 


has  given  the  corps  of  Special  Agents  the  apparent  character 
of  mere  u  detective  officers,”  while  in  truth  they  are  much 

more  than  this. 

% 

The  qualifications  which  a  Special  Agent  should  possess 
are  numerous  and  diverse ;  some,  indeed,  not  often  found  in 
connection  with  one  another.  A  high  degree  of  shrewdness 
and  tact  is  required,  in  order  to  estimate  probabilities  rightly, 
and  to  pursue  investigations  in  such  a  way  as  to  avoid  attract¬ 
ing  attention  or  exciting  alarm.  And  an  essential  pre-requb 
site  to  success  is  a  good  knowledge  of  human  nature.  To 
calculate  beforehand  with  correctness  what  a  given  person 
will  do  under  certain  circumstances,  and  thu»  to  anticipate  his 
movements,  and  make  him  subservient  to  the  execution  of 
your  plans ;  to  vary  the  mode  of  approach  to  suspected  per¬ 
sons,  according  to  the  combinations  of  circumstances  and  the 
shades  of  character  existing  in  the  case  in  hand ;  to  do  all 
this,  and  much  more  of  a  like  description,  demands  no  small 
knowledge  of  the  workings  of  the  human  mind. 

It  is  comparatively  an  easy  matter  to  follow  up  a  mail  rob¬ 
ber  when  once  upon  his  track,  (though  there  is  often  nicety 
even  in  this,)  but  to  collect  the  scattered  rays  of  suspicion  and 
conjecture,  and  to  bring  them  together  into  one  focus,  throw¬ 
ing  its  revealing  glare  upon  the  criminal,  requires  a  higher 
order  of  intellect  than  any  after  operations.  And  the  caution 
which  is  always  necessary  in  the  conducting  of  these  cases,  in 
order  to  secure  a  successful  result,  is  called  for  not  only  for 
the  sake  of  detecting  the  guilty,  but  in  order  that  the  inno¬ 
cent  may  not  suffer  blame. 

It  often  happens  that  circumstances  of  the  strongest  kind 
indicate  the  guilt  of  some  person,  who,  notwithstanding,  is 
entirely  free  from  all  connection  with  the  crime.  Never,  per¬ 
haps,  is  a  stronger  temptation  to  hasty  Und  indiscreet  proce¬ 
dures  offered  than  by  such  a  state  of  things.  Yet  he  who  is 
guided  by  discretion,  is  not  led  away  by  the  dazzling  hope  of 
immediate  success  in  his  investigation,  but,  aware  how  falla¬ 
cious  are*  sometimes  the  strongest  appearances,  he  considers 


400 


THOUGHTLESS  CURIOSITY. 


the  question  before  him  with  coolness  and  deliberation,  fully 
conscious  of  tbe  priceless  value  of  character,  and  reluctant  to 
make  any  movement  that  might  unjustly  throw  a  shadow 
upon  it. 

From  the  nature  of  their  employment,  Special  Agents  are 
constantly  brought  in  contact  with  the  most  intelligent  and 
prominent  men  in  the  community,  who  justly  expect  to  find 
the  Post-Office  Department  represented  by  men  of  gentle¬ 
manly  bearing,  fair  education,  correct  deportment,  and  sound 
discretion.  The  absence  of  any  of  these  qualities,  especially 
of  all  of  them,  would  lower  the  standing  of  the  Department 
with  those  whose  good  opinion  is  most  valuable,  and  would 
naturally  cause  speculations  on  the  reasons  why  persons  so 
deficient  in  the  qualities  necessary  to  make  them  acceptable  to 
people  of  discernment,  should  have  been  appointed  to  such  a 
responsible  post. 

It  would  hardly  be  just  to  hold  the  Department  responsible 
for  the  existence  of  all  such  evils,  as  there  is  always  danger 
that  the  influence  and  diplomacy  of  politicians  may  be  used 
for  the  purpose  of  securing  appointments  to  persons  who  are 
unfit  for  them.  If  the  time  ever  comes  when  politicians  shall 
act  upon  truly  patriotic  principles,  then  we  may  reasonably 
expect  that  the  appointing  of  subordinate  officers  of  this  De¬ 
partment  will  be  left  to  those  in  whose  power  the  law  has 
placed  it,  undisturbed  by  pressure  from  without. 

The  duties  of  a  Special  Agent  are  often  made  more  difficult 
by  the  thoughtlessness  or  curiosity  of  those  whom  he  meets  in 
the  course  of  his  official  business.  The  maintenance  of  secrecy 
is  absolutely  necessary  to  much  success  in  his  plans.  It  is 
perfectly  obvious  that  the  measures  taken  to  detect  a  rogue 
should  be  concealed  from  him,  and  it  is  generally  no  less  im¬ 
portant  that  he  should  not  know  that  any  one  is  on  his  track. 
The  public  at  large,  howevei',  seem  to  think  themselves  at 
liberty  to  inquire  of  an  Agent  all  about  his  plans )  where  he 
is  going,  whom  he  is  in  pursuit  of,  and  any  other  matters  that 
curiosity  may  suggest.  Often  have  I  been  saluted,  on  enter- 


LIFE  INSURANCE  DODGE. 


401 


ing  an  omnibus  or  a  railroad  car,  with  tbe  question,  “  Well, 

H - ,  who  has  been  robbing  the  mails  now  ?”  thus  making 

the  person  of  the  Agent  known  to  all  within  hearing,  and  per¬ 
haps  to  some  from  whom  it  were  very  desirable  to  keep  such 
knowledge.  I  received  a  similar  salutation  once  from  a 
thoughtless  acquaintance,  in  the  presence  of  a  delinquent 
post-office  clerk  whom  I  was  watching,  and  to  whom  I  was  be¬ 
fore  unknown. 

In  country  places,  also,  Agents  are  often  brought  to  their 
wit’s  end  for  answers  to  the  questions  proposed,  which  shall 
be  satisfactory  to  the  querist,  and  keep  within  the  bounds  of 
truth.  Sometimes  they  find  themselves  compelled,  in  antici¬ 
pation  of  this  annoying  curiosity,  to  take  refuge  in  a  mercan¬ 
tile  character,  inquiring  the  price  of  butter,  and  other  u  pro¬ 
duce.”  At  other  times,  with  parental  solicitude,  they  inform 
themselves  of  the  comparative  merits  of  different  boarding- 
schools;  or  they,  in  pursuance  of  their  own  polny,  discuss 
policies  of  “  Life  Insurance.”  I  was  once  indebted  to  the 
system  alluded  to  for  my  escape  from  the  fangs  of  an  inquisi¬ 
tive  landlord.  In  the  investigations  of  the  case  then  in  hand, 
it  was  of  the  utmost  importance  that  the  presence  of  an  Agent 
of  the  Department,  on  that  route,  should  not  be  known.  So 
when  mine  host  commenced  his  inquiries,  I  informed  him  that 
I  had  thought  of  delivering  a  lecture  on  Life  Insurance,  and 
asked  him  whether  he  supposed  that  an  audience  could  be  got 
together  in  the  village.  He  appeared  very  much  interested 
in  the  matter,  and  offered  to  guarantee  at  least  five  hundred 
hearers  for  the  proposed  lecture.  One  evening,  while  I  was 
in  my  room  employed  in  preparing  decoy  letters,  he  called 
upon  some  errand,  and,  observing  me  at  work  among  some 
papers,  he  said : 

u  Ah,  at  work  on  your  lecture,  are  you?  Well,  I  won  t  dis¬ 
turb  you.” 

We  went  so  far  as  to  make  some  arrangements  for  the  print¬ 
ing  of  hand-bills,  &c.,  but  the  mental  illumination  which  the 
inhabitants  of  the  village  had  in  prospect,  was  extinguished 
34* 


402 


AN  ERRONEOUS  IDEA. 


by  my  disappearance,  accompanied  by  a  culprit,  whom  it  was 
more  important  to  secure  than  even  an  u  audience  of  five 
hundred/7  During  the  examination  of  the  criminal,  my 
worthy  host  inquired  of  me,  with  a  sagacious  wink,  how  the 
“  Life  Insurance’ 7  business  flourished  ? 

It  may  not  be  out  of  place  here  to  allude  to  an  erroneous 
idea  respecting  the  powers  of  Special  Agents,  which  prevails 
to  some  extent,  namely,  that  the  Agents  are  permitted  by  the 
Department  to  open  letters  addressed  to  other  persons,  where 
the  interests  of  justice  seem  to  require  it.  This  is  contrary 
to  the  truth.  An  Agent  has  no  more  power  or  right  than  any 
other  person  to  open  letters  not  belonging  to  him,  for  what¬ 
ever  purpose  he  may  wish  to  do  so.  Should  he  see  fit  to  break 
a  seal,  he  does  it  at  his  own  responsibility.  The  law.  makes 
no  exceptions  in  his  favor.  And  the  Department  cannot  con¬ 
fer  this  power  of  opening  letters,  because  no  such  power  has 
been  given  it.  The  Post  Master  General  is  as  accountable  to 
the  laws  as  any  private  citizen. 


I 


CHAPTER  XXXV. 

ROUTE  AGENTS. 

This  is  tlie  designation  of  a  very  useful  and  indispensable 
class  of  officials,  who  were  hardly  known  to  the  service  in  this 
country  previous  to  the  year  1839.  Their  introduction  ap¬ 
pears  to  have  been  contemporaneous  with  the  employment  of 
railroads  for  the  transportation  of  the  U.  S.  mails,  and  a  neces¬ 
sary  consequence  of  the  adoption  of  this  mode  of  convey¬ 
ance. 

The  number  of  these  Agents  has  been  progressively  in¬ 
creased  in  proportion  with  the  extension  of  railroads,  and 
they  are  now  employed  upon  nearly  all  these  roads  in  this 
country,  as  well  as  upon  many  of  the  steamboats  which  carry 
the  mails. 

Since  1847,  they  have  increased  as  follows : — 


1848  there  were 

47 

1849 

U  << 

61 

1850 

a  i  i 

100 

1851 

<<  4  < 

127 

1852 

u  << 

209 

1854 

a  a 

260 

1855 

u  a 

295 

By  the  terms  of  contract  with  each  railroad  company,  it  is 
required  to  furnish  a  suitable  car  for  the  use  of  the  mail  or 
Route  Agent  when  so  requested  by  the  Department.  The 

(403) 


4df  ROUTE  agents’  duties. 

Agent  occupies  this  traveling  post-office,  or  mail  car,  receives 
and  delivers  mails  along  the  route;  assorts,  and  gives  the 
proper  direction  to  all  mail  matter  passing  through  his  hands ; 
mails  such  letters,  prepaid  by  stamps ,  as  are  handed  him,  and 
accompanies  the  mails  in  their  transit  between  the  post-office 
and  the  railroad  station  or  steamboat,  at  the  terminus  of  the 
route. 

It  is  too  often  the  case  that  persons  of  influence,  in  pro¬ 
posing  a  candidate  for  this  responsible  post,  greatly  undervalue 
the  nature  and  importance  of  the  duties  to  be  performed,  sup¬ 
posing  that  they  involve  merely  the  mechanical  labor  of  deliv¬ 
ering  mail  bags  at  the  different  post-office  stations  upon  the 
route.  The  fact  is,  that  the  successful  working  of  our  postal 
machinery  depends  in  no  small  degree  upon  the  active,  faith¬ 
ful,  and  intelligent  discharge  of  the  Koute  Agents’  duties.  In 
New  England  especially,  and  perhaps  in  some  other  sections 
of  the  country,  a  very  large  proportion  of  the  correspondence 
passes  through  the  hands  of  these  officials,  at  some  stage  in 
its  progress. 

Much  care,  and  a  thorough  knowledge  of  the  topography 
of  the  sections  of  the  country  through  which  the  route  lies, 
as  well  as  that  of  more  distant  portions,  are  therefore  required 
for  giving  letter  and  other  packages  a  direction  by  which  they 
will  reach  their  destination  in  the  shortest  possible  time.  And 
that  essential  preliminary,  the  ascertaining  where  a  given  pack¬ 
age  is  to  go,  is  a  matter  not  always  easy  of  accomplishment. 
For  the  most  skilful  interpreters  of  the  species  of  chirography 
known  as  u  quail  tracks/’  are  often  taxed  to  their  utmost 
capacity  -of  learning  and  experience,  in  the  endeavor  to  deci¬ 
pher  the  outside  addresses  of  packages  which  they  are  re¬ 
quired  to  u  distribute”  without  loss  of  time. 

Furthermore,  in  consequence  of  the  improvements  con¬ 
stantly  progressing  in  many  parts  of  the  country,  and  the 
frequent  changes  in  railroad,  steamboat,  and  stage  connections, 
resulting  from  that  and  other  causes,  what  would  be  correct 
“  distribution”  one  day,  might  not  be  so  the  next.  The  old 


ABUSE  OP  A  PRIVILEGE. 


405 


adage,  u  The  longest  way  round  is  the  shortest  way  home,”  is 
often  literally  true  in  the  sending  of  mail  matter,  for  steam 
)ccupies  less  time  in  accomplishing  a  circuitous  route  of  a 
hundred  miles,  than  horses  in  passing  over  a  direct  one  of 
twenty. 

On  the  other  hand,  it  sometimes  happens  that  a  long  route 
by  stage  should  be  adopted,  instead  of  a  short  one  by  railroad, 
owing  to  a  want  of  the  proper  railroad  connections. 

When  all  these  demands  upon  the  vigilance  and  ability  of 
the  Route  Agent  are  exercised,  it  will  be  obvious  that  it  would 
be  difficult  to  estimate  the  amount  of  injury  that  the  public 
might  receive  from  the  employment  of  a  careless,  inefficient, 
or  illiterate  person  in  this  position. 

Among  the  Post  Master  General’s  instructions  to  Route 
Agents  is  one  requiring  them  to  receive  and  mail  all  letters 
written  after  the  closing  of  the  mail  at  the  places  where  the 
writers  reside,  and  before  its  departure.  This  privilege — 
intended  solely  for  the  accommodation  of  those  who  are  pre- 
vented  by  unavoidable  circumstances  from  depositing  their 
letters  in  the  post-office — has  of  late  been  used,  or  rather 
abused,  to  a  degree  never  dreamed  of  by  the  Department. 
This  abuse,  in  many  cases,  has  proceeded  to  an  extent  which 
would  seem  to  warrant  the  withholding  of  the  privilege. 

Tardy  and  indolent  correspondents,  who  can  save  a  few  steps 
by  taking  their  letters  to  a  mail  car  or  steamboat,  instead  of 
to  the  proper  place  of  deposit,  a  post-office,  find  the  hard- 
worked  Route  Agent  an  invention  admirably  calculated  to 
facilitate  the  indulgence  of  their  lazy  habits,  and  do  not 
scruple  to  avail  themselves  of  the  opportunity  to  the  utmost 
extent. 

There  is  also  a  numerous  class  who  entertain  feelings  of  hos¬ 
tility  toward  their  post  master  for  various  reasons ;  not  unfre- 
quently  from  the  failure  of  their  own  attempts  or  those  of 
their  friends  to  obtain  the  office  which  he  holds.  These  per¬ 
sons  show  their  resentment  by  withholding  their  mail  matter 
from  the  post-office,  and  thus  cheating  the  incumbent  out  of 


406 


APPEAL  TO  THE  PUBLIC. 


his  lawful  commissions.  In  carrying  out  this  plan,  they  make 
the  Route  Agent  an  innocent  accessory,  by  placing  all  their 
correspondence  in  his  car  just  before  the  departure  of  the 
train,  thus  unnecessarily  increasing  his  labor  for  the  sake  of 
gratifying  their  own  malice. 

Another  class,  fully  persuaded  of  the  truth  of  the  princi¬ 
ple  that  u  seeing  is  believing,”  and  unwilling  to  trust  in  any¬ 
thing  less  reliable  than  their  own  eyes,  deposit  their  letters 
with  the  Agent  rather  than  in  the  post-office,  in  order  to  avoid 
the  innumerable  perils  which  might  beset  them  in  their  pass¬ 
age  from  the  custody  of  the  post  master  to  that  of  the  Agent ! 
These  cautious  persons  are  not  satisfied  without  ocular  demon¬ 
stration  of  the  departure  of  their  letters,  so  that  if  the  letters 
should  fail  to  reach  their  destination,  they  would  still  have  the 
pleasing  consciousness  that  they  had  done  all  in  their  power  to 
avoid  such  a  catastrophe. 

Still  another  class  confide  their  letters  to  the  Route  Agent, 
from  a  belief  that  letters,  especially  valuable  ones,  will  thus 
go  forward  more  safely  and  expeditiously.  But  this  is  an 
incorrect  idea,  for  in  the  first  place  the  pressure  of  other  in¬ 
dispensable  duties,  such  as  receiving,  assorting,  and  delivering 
mails,  may  occupy  so  much  of  the  Agent’s  time  that  he  will 
find  it  impossible  to  mail  all  the  letters  handed  him,  in  which 
case  they  would  often  suffer  at  least  a  day’s  delay.  And  as 
to  the  supposed  additional  safety  of  money-letters,  when  sent 
in  this  way,  it  may  be  remarked  that  in  case  of  a  serious  col¬ 
lision  happening  to  the  train  while  the  letters  were  still  loose, 
the  chances  of  their  loss  from  destruction  or  theft,  would  be 
much  greater  than  if  they  were  properly  secured  in  a  locked 
mail-pouch.  Important  losses  have  occurred  in  this  way,  and 
of  course  they  may  happen  at  any  time. 

In  behalf  of  the  Route  Agents,  whose  duties,  at  best,  are 
sufficiently  arduous,  the  public  are  earnestly  requested  to  ex¬ 
ercise  the  privilege  referred  to  only  in  accordance  with  its 
original  intention,  namely,  in  reference  to  letters  which  cannot 
with  due  diligence  be  mailed  in  the  ordinary  way. 


A  STRICT  CONSTRUCTIONIST. 


407 


Another  important  regulation  contained  in  the  Route 
Agents’  instructions,  is  that  which  forbids  the  admission  with¬ 
in  the  mail  car  of  any  one  except  those  officially  connected 
with  the  Department.  The  strict  enforcement  of  this  rule  is 
well  for  all  concerned,  and  should  be  cheerfully  acquiesced  in 
by  the  railroad  companies  and  the  public  at  large. 

Nor  should  its  application  in  individual  cases  be  construed, 
as  has  sometimes  been  done,  into  a  distrust  of  the  honor  or 
honesty  of  the  person  refused  admittance.  It  is  done  simply 
in  pursuance  of  a  wholesome  and  reasonable  requirement,  and 
with  the  view  to  confine  responsibility  to  those  upon  whom  it 
is  placed  by  the  Department,  and  to  guard  against  hindrances 
to  the  faithful  and  accurate  discharge  of  their  duty. 

The  faithfulness  of  one  of  the  Route  Agents,  in  respect  to 
a  compliance  with  Instructions,  was  a  few  years  since  tested 
by  the  Post  Master  General  in  person,  who  happened  to  be 
travelling  incog.,  so  far  as  those  on  that  train  were  concerned. 

Just  as  the  cars  were  about  to  leave  one  of  the  stations, 
Judge  Hall,  then  Post  Master  General,  presented  himself  at 
the  door  of  the  mail  apartment,  when  the  following  conversa¬ 
tion  occurred : — 

Post  Master  General. — Good  morning,  sir;  I  would  like  a 
seat  in  your  car  to  avoid  the  dust. 

Agent. — Well,  I  would  like  to  accommodate  you,  but  you 
see  what  my  Instructions  ‘say,  (at  the  same  time  pointing  to 
the  printed  Circular  posted  up  in  the  car,  with  the  signature 
of  “N.  K.  Hall”  attached.) 

P.  M.  General. — Yes,  that  is  all  well  enough,  but  Mr.  Hall 
probably  did  not  mean  to  exclude  honorable  gentlemen  who 
would  not  interfere  with  the  mails,  or  annoy  you  with  conver¬ 
sation. 

Agent. — (Scanning  the  person  of  his  unknown  visitoi 
pretty  closely) — Suppose  he  didn’t,  what  evidence  have  I 
that  you  are  an  honorable  gentleman  ?  Besides,  I  am  a  strict 
constructionist,  and  the  order  says  no  person  is  allowed  here 
except  those  connected  with  the  Department. 


408 


A  NARROW  ESCAPE. 


Judge  Hall  insisted  upon  staying,  however,  and  delibe¬ 
rately  took  a  seat  in  the  only  chair  on  the  premises.  Where¬ 
upon  the  Agent  proceeded  to  call  the  baggage-master  to  assist 
in  forcibly  ejecting  this  persevering  customer;  and  he  cer¬ 
tainly  would  have  gone  out,  had  he  not  without  loss  of  time 
presented  his  card  to  the  incensed  Agent,  just  in  time  to  pre¬ 
vent  so  ludicrous  a  denouement. 

He  was  warmly  commended  for  his  faithfulness,  and  highly 
enjoyed  the  visit  of  his  distinguished  guest  during  the  re¬ 
mainder  of  his  stay. 


CHAPTER  XXXVI. 


DECOY  LETTERS. 

Those  who  may  have  perused  the  preceding  pages  of  this 
work,  will  require  no  further  comment  on  the  nature  and 
utility  of  decoy  letters.  But  as  some  persons  are  met  with 
who,  without  much  reflection,  condemn  their  use  under  all  cir¬ 
cumstances,  it  may  he  well  to  offer  a  few  remarks  in  defence 
of  this  practice. 

It  is  very  clear  that  decoy  letters  can  never  injure  honest 
men.  These  missives  trouble  no  one  who  does  not  unlawfully 
meddle  with  them,  and  it  can  hardly  he  claimed  that  they 
offer  any  greater  temptations  to  the  dishonestly  inclined  than 
any  other  class  of  money-letters.  It  is  of  course  impossible 
for  any  one  to  distinguish  between  a  decoy  letter  and  a  genuine 
one,  and  he  who  faithfully  discharges  his  duties  in  reference 
to  other  letters,  will  never  find  out  by  his  own  personal  ex¬ 
perience,  that  there  are  such  things  as  decoys. 

It  should  not  be  forgotten  that  these  devices  are  employed 
for  the  public  good,  and  that  the  security  of  a  vast  amount  of 
property,  as  well  as  the  removal  of  unjust  suspicion,  often 
depends  upon  the  detection  of  some  delinquent  post-office 
employ^.  In  such  a  case,  it  would  surely  be  foolishly  fastidi¬ 
ous  to  object  to  the  adoption  of  a  method  of  effecting  the 
desired  end,  which  accurately  distinguishes  between  the 
innocent  and  the  guilty,  and  which  does  injustice  to  no  one. 

In  the  defence  of  criminals  tried  in  the  United  States 

35  (409) 


410 


A  LEGAL  DECISION. 


Courts,  for  mail  robbery,  whose  detection  lias  been  effected  by 
means  of  decoy  letters,  especially  in  cases  where  there  seems 
to  be  no  other  ground  of  defence,  it  is  frequently  insisted  on 
very  eloquently,  that  as  the  law  of  Congress  on  this  subject 
provides  against  the  embezzlement  of  letters  u  intended  to  be 
conveyed  by  post,”  no  offence  is  committed  by  the  purloining 
of  decoys,  inasmuch  as  this  class  of  epistles  are  not  bond  fide 
letters,  and  are  not  intended  to  be  conveyed  in  the  mail, 
within  the  true  intent  and  meaning  of  the  statute. 

This  position  has  been  overthrown,  however,  as  often  as  it 
has  been  assumed,  and  it  is  believed  that  the  decisions  on  this 
point,  of  all  the  United  States  Judges  before  whom  the  ques¬ 
tion  has  been  raised,  have  been  uniform  throughout  the  country. 

In  a  recent  important  trial  in  the  city  of  New  York,  before 
his  Honor  Judge  Betts,  the  decoy  system  received  a  severe 
hetchelling  from  the  learned  counsel  for  the  prisoner, '  and 
after  the  evidence  had  been  laid  before  the  jury,  the  Court 
was  asked  to  dismiss  the  case  and  the  culprit,  on  the  ground 
that  the  offence  provided  against  in  the  twenty-first  section  of 
the  Act  of  1825,  had  not  been  committed. 

But  his  Honor  took  a  very  different  view  of  the  matter,  as 
will  appear  by  the  following  extract  from  his  decision  : — 

Judge  Betts  remarked  to  the  jury  that  the  facts  upon  which  the 
indictment  is  found  being  uncontroverted,  the  question  of  the  prison¬ 
er’s  guilt  depends  solely  upon  points  of  law. 

When  facts  are  ascertained,  it  is  the  province  of  the  Court  to  deter¬ 
mine  whether  they  come  within  the  provisions  of  the  law  sought  to  be 
applied  to  them ;  and,  although  in  criminal  cases  the  jury  gives  a 
general  answer,  covering  both  the  law  and  fact,  to  the  inquiry  whether 
the  accused  is  guilty  or  not  guilty,  it  is  not  to  be  supposed  they  will, 
in  a  case  resting  wholly  upon  a  question  of  law,  render  a  verdict  in 
opposition  to  the  instructions  of  the  Court.  The  defence  of  the 
accused  assumes  that  the  twenty-first  section  above  recited,  in  order 
to  a  conviction  under  it,  demands  affirmative  proof  from  the  prosecu¬ 
tion  that  the  letters  were  intended  to  be  conveyed  by  post,  according  to 
their  address :  And  it  is  urged  that  such  proof  not  being  made,  but 
tn  the  contrary,  the  evidence  being  that  the  writer  of  the  letters  did 


POLICY  OF  THE  STATUTE. 


411 


not  intend  tliey  should  be  so  delivered,  but  meant  to  take  them  out  of 
the  mail  himself,  to  prevent  their  delivery,  if  they  were  not  embezzled 
in  the  office  in  this  city,  the  acts  done  by  the  accused  are  no  offence 
under  the  statute. 

I  think  that  construction  of  the  statute  cannot  be  maintained  in 
respect  to  letters  actually  in  the  mail,  and  especially  in  this  case, 
where  the  letters  had  been  conveyed  by  post  and  came  into  this  office 
by  the  mail  from  other  offices. 

It  is  a  presumption  of  law,  and  not  a  matter  of  proof,  that  letters 
so  circumstanced,  were  intended  to  be  conveyed  by  post.  The  ques¬ 
tion  of  intention  is  no  longer  referable  to  the  private  purpose  of  the 
writer,  whatever  might  be  the  fact  when  letters  are  given  to  persons 
employed  in  the  Post-Office  Department,  out  of  the  office,  for  the  pur¬ 
pose  of  being  put  into  it  or  conveyed  by  mail. 

When,  however,  a  letter  already  in  the  mail  is  purloined,  (1  McLean 
It.  504  ;  2  Id.  434,)  or  is  embezzled  by  a  carrier  on  the  route,  (1  Curtis 
It.  367,)  it  is,  in  judgment  of  law,  intended  to  be  conveyed  by  post, 
within  the  meaning  of  the  statute,  and  the  private  purpose  and  inten¬ 
tion  of  the  person  who  put  it  in  the  mail,  is  in  no  way  material,  and 
need  not  be  proved. 

Nor  indeed,  if  the  accused  can  prove,  or  it  is  made  to  appear  upon 
the  evidence  of  the  prosecution,  that  the  letter  was  placed  in  the  mail 
or  came  into  a  post-office,  prepared  and  intended  as  a  decoy,  and  was 
not  intrusted  to  the  mail  in  the  way  of  bona  fide  correspondence,  is 
the  criminality  of  taking  it  thereby  absolved:  even  if  the  evidence 
advances  another  stage,  and  shows  that  the  decoy  was  aimed  at  and 
intended  for  the  particular  person  caught  by  it,  ( The  United  States  v. 
Laurence,  2  McLean  It.  441 ;  The  United  States  v.  Foye,  1  Curtis  R. 
307-8.) 

These  decisions  enforce  the  manifest  policy  of  the  statute.  The 
post-office  establishment,  and  the  enactments  maintaining  the  security 
of  its  action  and  the  fidelity  of  persons  employed  in  it,  compose  a 
great  national  measure,  and  the  laws  governing  and  protecting  it  are 
to  be  construed  so  as  to  subserve  the  public  good,  and  not  with  a  view 
to  what  might  be  a  reasonable  rule  in  transactions  between  individuals. 
But  I  apprehend  that  even  in  individual  transactions,  the  agents  of  a 
bank,  a  merchant’s  clerk,  or  a  domestic  servant  could  not  protect  them¬ 
selves  against  a  criminal  or  civil  charge  of  appropriating  the  effects 
of  their  employers,  by  proof  that  the  property  had  been  placed  within 
their  reach  by  its  owner,  in  distrust  of  their  honesty,  and  for  the 
purpose  of  testing  it. 


412 


DEFENCE  OF  DECOYS. 


The  method  adopted  by  the  Department  to  detect  offenders  under 
this  law,  does  not  appear  to  me  objectionable  in  the  point  of  view 
pressed  by  the  counsel  for  the  accused.  No  further  temptation  or 
facility  to  the  commission  of  the  offence  is  thereby  placed  before  such 
offenders  than  must  necessarily  be  presented  in  the  daily  business  of 
their  trusts.  These  packages  were  in  every  respect  the  same  in 
appearance,  and  with  only  the  same  indications  of  enclosing  money, 
as  ordinary  letters  by  which  remittances  are  made.  And  it  seems  to 
me  when  it  comes  to  be  understood  by  persons  handling  such  packages 
in  the  mail  or  destined  for  it,  that  a  watchful  eye  may  be  following 
each  package  from  office  to  office,  and  noticing  everything  done  to  it, 
that  the  apprehension  of  such  supervision  may  act  almost  with  the 
force  of  a  religious  consciousness  of  accountability,  in  awing  wicked 
purposes  and  preventing  criminal  actions. 

I  am  persuaded  that  letters  would  rarely  be  intercepted  in  their 
transmission  by  post,  if  every  person  concerned  in  mailing  or  carrying 
them,  could  be  impressed  with  the  idea  that  each  package  enclosing 
valuables,  may  be  but  a  bait  seeking  to  detect  whoever  may  be  dis¬ 
honest  enough  to  molest  it,  and  to  become  a  swift  witness  for  his  con¬ 
viction  and  punishment. 

The  jury  convicted  the  prisoner,  and  on  the  29th  day  of  December, 
1854,  he  was  sentenced  to  ten  years’  imprisonment. 


SUPPLEMENTARY  CHAPTER. 


PRACTICAL  INFORMATION. 

The  design  of  the  author,  in  the  preparation  of  the  present 
volume,  would  be  but  imperfectly  answered,  were  he  to  fail 
to  communicate  that  practical  information  which  it  is  very  de¬ 
sirable  that  the  public  at  large  should  possess,  both  for  their 
own  sake  and  that  of  those  connected  with  the  mail  service. 
For,  an  accurate  knowledge  of  the  requirements  of  the  law 
upon  leading  points,  would  obviate  much  of  the  disappoint¬ 
ment  and  unpleasant  feeling  to  which  mistaken  views  on  the 
subject  give  rise.  There  are  popular  errors  on  many  matters 
connected  with  post-office  regulations  which  are  every  day 
causing  trouble  and  vexation,  and  which  can  only  be  corrected 
by  presenting  the  facts  as  they  are. 

This  information  is  not  accessible  to  the  public  in  general ; 
at  least,  it  is  out  of  the  way,  and  is  not  kept  before  the  peo¬ 
ple.  The  Department  publishes,  at  irregular  intervals,  an 
edition  of  its  laws  and  regulations  for  the  use  of  post  masters, 
each  of  whom  is  supplied  with  a  copy;  and  this,  with  the  ex¬ 
ception  of  the  ordinary  newspaper  record  of  the  laws  as  they 
are  passed,  is  the  only  source  of  information  upon  this  subject 
open  to  people  in  general.  The  detail  of  regulations  estab¬ 
lished  by  the  Department,  seldom  finds  its  way  into  the  papers, 
and  correspondents  are  left  to  acquire  their  knowledge  respect¬ 
ing  it  by  (sometimes  sad)  experience. 

35* 


(413) 


414 


PRACTICAL  INFORMATION. 


It  is  tlie  intention  of  the  author  to  supply  these  deficiencies 
in  part  at  least,  avoiding,  however,  all  laws  and  regulations 
likely  to  be  changed  by  legislation,  or  the  constructions  put 
upon  them  by  the  chief  officers  appointed  from  time  to  time 
to  administer  those  laws. 

Post  masters  being  already  provided  with  the  official  in¬ 
structions  pertaining  to  their  duties,  a  repetition  here  is 
deemed  unnecessary  farther  than  a  knowledge  of  the  laws  and 
regulations  may  be  essential  to  the  public. 

For  the  items  of  information  presented  below,  the  author 
relies  in  part  on  the  suggestions  of  his  own  experience,  but 
they  are  mainly  compiled  from  the  established  regulations 
of  the  Post-Office  Department,  and  such  of  the  decisions  of 
its  chief  officers  as  are  likely  to  remain  permanently  in  force  : — 

MISSING  LETTERS,  ETC. 

That  the  loss  or  delay  of  letters,  valuable  or  otherwise,  is  often 
caused  by  the  dishonesty  or  carelessness  of  those  to  whose  custody 
they  are  committed,  must  be  acknowledged.  Still,  in  a  large  propor¬ 
tion  of  such  cases,  the  cause  is  to  be  found  in  some  one  or  a  combina¬ 
tion  of  those  curious  omissions  and  mistakes  to  which  all  correspon¬ 
dents — but  more  especially  men  deeply  involved  in  business  pursuits 
— are  so  liable.  The  records  of  the  Dead  Letter  Office,  if  consulted, 
would  present  a  list  of  delinquents  in  this  particular,  embracing  the 
names  of  hundreds  of  individuals  and  firms,  ranking  as  the  most  exact 
and  systematic  persons  in  the  community. 

A  similar  examination  of  the  official  reports  of  the  Special  Agents 
and  post  masters,  would  further  show  to  what  an  extent  such  losses 
are  attributable  to  a  want  of  fidelity  and  proper  care  on  the  part  of 
persons  employed  to  convey  letters  to  and  from  the  post-office.  Sug¬ 
gestions  as  to  the  remedies  are  hardly  called  for. 

So  far  as  relates  to  misdirections,  as  they  are  most  apt  to  occur 
with  persons  and  mercantile  houses  of  extensive  correspondence,  an 
excellent  precaution  may  be  found,  in  requiring  the  post-office  mes¬ 
senger,  after  the  letters  have  been  prepared  for  the  mail,  to  enter  in 
a  book  kept  for  that  purpose,  the  full  outside  address  of  each  letter, 
with  the  date  of  mailing.  In  case  any  one  of  them  is  incorrectly 
addressed,  and  fails  to  reach  its  intended  destination,  a  reference  to 


PRACTICAL  INFORMATION. 


415 


tlie  book  of  superscriptions  will  show  where  the  missing  document 
was  sent,  and  lead  to  its  immediate  recovery.  If  correctly  addressed, 
that  fact  would  appear,  and  materially  aid  in  an  official  investigation 

This,  together  with  the  adoption  of  a  greater  degree  of  care  than  is 
at  present  exercised,  in  the  selection  of  persons  to  act  as  private  let¬ 
ter  carriers,  would  greatly  reduce  the  number  of  losses,  mishaps,  and 
complaints  in  connection  with  the  mails.  Where  it  is  possible,  but 
one  person  should  be  sent  to  the  post-office. 

The  name  of  the  writer  or  firm,  written  or  printed  on  the  letter,  is 
an  advantage  in  case  of  miscarriage. 

When  a  valuable  letter  is  missing  from  any  cause,  the  fact  should 
be  at  once  reported  to  the  post  master,  in  writing,  with  full  particu¬ 
lars,  and  a  search  made  by  the  complainants,  of  the  pockets  of  any 
spare  overcoats  about  the  premises. 

Where  letters  are  delivered  by  a  public  letter  carrier,  or  penny  post, 
a  locked  box  or  some  other  safe  place  of  deposit  for  the  letters  thus 
left,  should  be  provided.  A  neglect  of  this  precaution,  is  the  cause 
of  many  annoyances  and  losses. 

The  address  of  letters  intended  for  delivery  in  cities,  should  include, 
if  possible,  the  occupation,  street  and  number  of  the  party  ad¬ 
dressed. 

When  a  letter  is,  by  mistake  or  owing  to  a  duplicate  name,  delivered 
to  the  wrong  person,  it  should  be  immediately  returned  to  the  post- 
office  with  a  verbal  explanation,  and  not  be  dropped  into  the  letter 
box.  If  inadvertently  opened  by  the  party  taking  it  from  the  office, 
the  fact  should  be  endorsed  on  the  back  of  the  letter,  with  the  name 
of  the  opener. 

Experience  has  shown  that  locked  letter  boxes  or  drawers  opening 
on  the  outside,  especially  in  cities  and  large  towns,  are  unsafe,  as  de¬ 
positories  of  letters,  especially  those  containing  articles  of  value. 

No  letters  should  be  given  to  Route  Agents  upon  the  cars  or  steam¬ 
boats,  except  such  as  cannot  be  written  before  the  closing  of  the  mail 
at  the  post-office.  Under  no  circumstances  can  Route  Agents  receive 
letters  that  are  not  pre-paid  by  stamps. 

When  there  are  good  grounds  for  believing  that  letters  are  opened 
and  read  from  motives  of  curiosity,  complaint  should  be  made  in 
writing  to  the  Chief  Clerk  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  Washington. 
A  secret  plan  for  the  certain  detection  of  prying  delinquents  has 
recently  been  devised. 


416 


PRACTICAL  INFORMATION. 


Two  or  more  letters  directed  to  different  persons,  cannot  be  sent  by 
mail  in  one  envelope  or  packet,  without  subjecting  the  sender  to  a 
fine  of  ten  dollars.  This  does  not  apply  to  any  letter  or  packet 
directed  to  a  foreign  country. 

Costly  and  delicate  articles  of  jewelry  or  other  valuables,  should 

\ 

not  be  placed  in  a  letter,  as  they  are  liable  to  serious  injury  in  the 
process  of  stamping. 

It  is  a  violation  of  law  to  enclose  a  letter  or  other  thing  (except 
bills  and  receipts  for  subscription,)  or  to  make  any  memorandum  in 
writing,  or  to  print  any  word  or  communication,  after  its  publication, 
upon  any  newspaper,  pamphlet,  magazine,  or  other  printed  matter. 
The  person  addressed  must  pay  letter  postage,  or  the  sender  be  fined 
five  dollars. 

If  a  letter  is  deposited  in  a  post-office,  and  the  enclosure  accident¬ 
ally  omitted,  or  it  becomes  necessary  to  alter  or  add  to  the  contents, 
it  is  much  better  to  write  another  letter,  than  to  trouble  those  in  the 
office  to  look  for  the  original  one.  In  large  places,  especially,  a  suc¬ 
cessful  search  for  it,  even  immediately  after  its  deposit,  would  con¬ 
sume  much  valuable  time,  and  such  a  request  is  altogether  unreason¬ 
able,  when  the  remedy  suggested  is  so  simple  and  cheap. 

On  calling  or  sending  for  a  letter  known  to  have  been  advertised, 
the  fact  should  ahvays  be  stated,  otherwise  only  the  current  letters  are 
examined. 

Although  it  is  strictly  the  duty  of  post  masters  and  other  agents  of 
the  Department,  to  correct  or  report  such  errors  in  the  mail  service 
as  may  come  to  their  knowledge,  it  is,  nevertheless,  desirable  that  any 
private  citizen  should  inform  the  Department  of  continued  neglect  or 
carelessness  in  the  execution  of  mail  contracts  or  mismanagement  in 
a  post-office. 

Legal  provision  has  been  made  by  Congress,  by  which  letters  may 
be  sent  out  of  the  mail  in  cases  of  emergency.  By  the  use  of  the 
Government  envelope,  with  the  stamp  printed  thereon,  and  constituting 
a  part  thereof,  letters  may  be  so  sent,  provided  the  envelope  is  duly 
sealed,  directed,  and  addressed,  and  the  date  or  receipt  or  transmis¬ 
sion  of  such  letter  written  or  stamped  thereon.  The  use  of  such  en¬ 
velope  more  than  once,  subjects  the  offender  to  a  fine  of  fifty  dollars. 

A  letter  or  ordinary  envelope  with  a  postage  stamp  put  on  by  the 
writer,  cannot  go  out  of  the  mail  (except  by  private  hand,)  for  the 
reason  that  the  law  confines  the  matter  entirely  to  the  envelopes  fur¬ 
nished  by  the  Department.  Were  the  privilege  extended  to  the  other 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


417 


kind  of  stamps,  there  being  no  way  to  cancel  them,  by  their  re-use, 
extensive  frauds  upon  the  revenue  would  be  the  result. 

A  singular  notion  seems  long  to  have  prevailed  that  it  is  no  viola¬ 
tion  of  law  to  send  an  unsealed  letter  outside  of  the  mail.  This  makes 
no  difference  whatever.  Even  if  the  paper  written  upon  is  not  folded, 
it  is  a  letter. 

Where  bundles  of  newspapers  are  sent  in  the  mail  to  “clubs,” 
without  the  names  of  the  subscribers  upon  the  papers,  the  post  master 
is  under  no  official  obligation  to  address  them.  Still  the  Department 
enjoins  a  spirit  of  courtesy  and  accommodation  towards  publishers 
and  the  public,  in  all  such  matters. 

A  person  receiving  a  letter  from  the  post-office  by  mistake,  or  find¬ 
ing  one  in  the  street  or  elsewhere,  can  under  no  pretence  designedly 
break  the  seal  without  subjecting  himself  to  a  severe  penalty. 

A  printed  business  card  or  the  name  of  the  sender,  placed  upon  the 
outside  of  a  circular,  subjects  it  to  double  postage ;  and  for  any 
writing,  except  the  address,  letter  postage  is  charged. 

The  following  are  among  the  established  rules  and  regula 
tions  of  the  Department  founded  upon  existing  statutes  of 
Congress : — 

Only  the  dead  letters  containing  enclosures  of  value,  are  required 
by  law  to  be  preserved  and  returned  to  their  owners  ;  but  if  the  writer 
of  a  letter  not  containing  an  enclosure  of  value  desires  to  have  his  letter 
preserved,  it  will  be  done  if  he  pre-pay  the  letter  and  mark  the  words 
“to  be  preserved,”  in  large  characters,  on  the  sealed  side.  Upon  the 
return  of  his  letter  he  will  be  required  to  pay  the  postage  from  Wash¬ 
ington. 

The  masters  of  steamboats  under  contract  with  the  Department, 
will  deliver  into  the  post-offices  (or  to  the  route  or  local  agent  of  the 
Department,  if  there  be  any,)  at  the  places  at  which  they  arrive,  all 
letters  received  by  them,  or  by  any  person  employed  on  their  boats, 
at  any  point  along  the  route. 

Masters  or  managers  of  all  other  steamboats,  are  required  by  law, 
under  a  penalty  of  thirty  dollars,  to  deliver  all  letters  brought  by 
them,  or  within  their  care  or  power,  addressed  to,  or  destined  for, 
the  places  at  which  they  arrive,  to  the  post  masters  at  such  places : 
except  letters  relating  to  some  part  of  the  cargo  and  left  unsealed.  All 
letters  not  addressed  to  persons  to  whom  the  cargo,  or  any  part  of  it, 


418 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


is  consigned,  are  therefore  to  be  delivered  into  the  post-office,  to  be 
charged  with  postage. 

Every  master  of  a  vessel  from  a  foreign  port  is  bound,  immediately 
on  his  arrival  at  a  port,  and  before  he  can  report,  make  entry,  or 
break  bulk,  under  a  penalty  not  to  exceed  $100,  to  deliver  into  the 
post-office  all  letters  brought  in  his  vessel,  directed  to  any  person  in 
the  United  States,  or  the  Territories  thereof,  which  are  under  his  care 
or  within  his  power,  except  such  letters  as  relate  to  the  cargo  or  some 
part  thereof. 

Stage  coaches,  railroad  cars,  steamboats,  packetboats,  and  all  other 
vehicles  or  vessels  performing  regular  trips  at  stated  periods,  on  a 
post  route  between  two  or  more  cities,  towns,  or  places,  from  one  to 
the  other,  on  which  the  United  States  mail  is  regularly  conveyed  under 
the  authority  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  are  prohibited  from 
transporting  or  conveying,  otherwise  than  in  the  mail,  any  letter, 
packet,  or  packets  of  letters,  (except  those  sealed  and  addressed  and 
prepaid  by  stamped  envelopes,  of  suitable  denominations,)  or  other 
mailable  matter  whatsoever,  except  such  as  may  have  relation  to  some 
part  of  the  cargo  of  such  steamboat,  packetboat,  or  other  vessel,  or 
to  some  article  at  the  same  time  conveyed  by  such  stage,  railroad  car, 
or  some  vehicle,  and  excepting  also,  newspapers,  pamphlets,  maga¬ 
zines,  and  periodicals. 

A  newspaper,  pamphlet,  circular,  or  other  printed  sheet,  if  in  a 
wrapper,  should  be  so  folded  and  wrapped  that  its  character  can  be 
readily  determined ;  and  so  that  any  prohibited  writing,  marks,  or 
signs  upon  it  may  easily  be  detected.  If  closely  enveloped  and  sealed 
it  is  chargeable  with  letter  postage. 

No  post  master  or  other  privileged  person  can  authorize  his  assistant, 
clerk,  or  any  other  person  to  write  his  name  for  the  purpose  of  frank¬ 
ing  any  letter,  public  or  private. 

The  personal  privilege  of  franking  travels  with  the  person  possessing 
it,  and  can  be  exercised  in  but  one  place  at  the  same  time. 

No  post  master  or  privileged  person  can  leave  his  frank  behind  him 
upon  envelopes  to  cover  his  correspondence  in  his  absence. 

Money  and  other  valuable  things,  sent  in  the  mail,  are  at  the  risk 
of  the  owner.  But,  if  they  be  lost,  the  Department  will  make  ever}' 
effort  in  its  power  to  discover  the  cause,  and,  if  there  has  been  a  theft, 
to  punish  the  offender. 

Letters  can  be  registered  on  the  payment  of  the  registry  fee  of  five 
cents  for  each  letter. 

Post  masters,  assistants,  and  clerks,  regularly  employed  and 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


419 


engaged  in  post-offices,  and  also  post  riders  and  drivers  of  mail  stages, 
are  by  law  exempt  from  military  duty  and  serving  on  juries,  and  from 
any  fine  or  penalty  for  neglect  thereof. — Act  of  1825,  sec.  35  ;  Act  of 
1836,  sec.  34. 

A  post  master  will  suffer  no  person  whatever,  except  his  duly  sworn 
assistants,  or  clerks  and  letter  carriers,  who  may  also  have  been 
sworn,  to  have  access  to  the  letters,  newspapers,  and  packets  in  his 
office,  or  whatever  constitutes  a  part  of  the  mail,  or  to  the  mail  locks 
or  keys. 

If  no  special  order  upon  the  subject  has  been  made  in  regard  to  his 
office,  a  post  master  is  allowed  seven  minutes  only  to  change  the  mail. 

If  the  mail  be  carried  in  a  stage,  coach,  or  sulky,  it  will  be  the 
duty  of  the  driver  to  deliver  it  as  near  the  door  of  the  post-office  as 
he  can  come  with  his  vehicle,  but  not  to  leave  his  horses,  and  he 
should  not  be  permitted  to  throw  the  mail  on  the  ground. 

Post  masters  will  not  suffer  newspapers  to  be  read  in  their  offices 
by  persons  to  whom  they  are  not  addressed ;  nor  to  be  lent  out  in  any 
case,  without  permission  of  the  owners. 

If  newspapers  are  not  taken  out  of  the  office  by  the  person  to  whom 
they  are  addressed,  the  post  master  will  give  immediate  notice  to  the 
publishers,  and  of  the  cause  thereof  if  known. 

Packets  of  every  description,  weighing  more  than  four  pounds,  are 
to  be  excluded,  except  public  documents,  printed  by  order  of  either 
House  of  Congress,  or  such  publications  or  books  as  have  been  or  may 
be  published,  procured,  or  purchased,  by  order  of  either  House  of 
Congress,  or  joint  resolution  of  the  two  Houses,  and  legally  franked. 

Newspapers  and  periodicals  to  foreign  countries  (particularly  to 
the  continent  of  Europe)  must  be  sent  in  narrow  bands,  open  at  the 
sides  or  end ;  otherwise  they  are  chargeable  there  with  letter  postage. 

Drop  and  box  letters,  circulars,  free  packets  containing  printed 
documents,  speeches,  or  other  printed  matter,  are  not  to  be  advertised. 

If  newspapers  are  carried  out  of  the  mail  for  sale  or  distribution, 
post  masters  are  not  bound  to  receive  and  deliver  them.  Pamphlets 
and  magazines  for  immediate  distribution  to  subscribers  cannot  be  so 
carried  without  a  violation  of  the  law  of  Congress. 

The  great  mails  are  to  be  closed  at  all  distributing  offices  not  more 
than  one  hour  before  the  time  fixed  for  their  departure  ;  and  all  other 
mails  at  those  offices,  and  all  mails  at  all  other  offices,  not  more  than 
half  an  hour  before  that  time,  unless  the  departure  is  between  9  o’clock, 
p.  m.,  and  5,  a.  m.,  in  which  case  the  mail  is  to  be  closed  at  9,  p.  m. 


420 


POST-OFl'JCE  LAWS. 


Postage  stamps  and  stamped  envelopes,  may  be  used  in  pre-pay¬ 
ment  of  postage  on  letters  to  foreign  countries,  in  all  cases  where 
such  pre-payment  can  be  made  in  money. 

A  letter  bearing  a  stamp,  cut  or  separated  from  a  stamped  envelope, 
cannot  be  sent  through  the  mail  as  a  pre-paid  letter.  Stamps  so  cut 
or  separated  from  stamped  envelopes  lose  their  legal  value. 

It  is  expected  that  a  disposition  to  accommodate  will  prompt  a 
post  master  to  search  for  and  deliver  a  letter,  on  the  application  of  a 
person  who  cannot  call  during  the  usual  office  hours. 

No  person  can  hold  the  office  of  post  master,  who  is  not  an  actual 
resident  of  the  city  or  town  wherein  the  post-office  is  situated,  or 
within  the  delivery  of  the  office. — Sec.  36  of  Act  of  1836. 

Letter  postage  is  to  be  charged  on  all  hand-bills,  circulars,  or  other 
printed  matter  which  shall  contain  any  manuscript  writing  whatever. 

When  the  mail  stops  over  night  where  there  is  a  post-office,  it  must 
be  kept  in  the  office. 

Any  person  wishing  a  letter  mailed  direct,  and  not  to  be  remailed 
at  a  distributing  office,  can  have  his  directions  followed  by  writing 
the  words  “mail  direct”  upon  the  letter. 

The  use  of  canvas  bags  of  any  kind,  for  any  other  purposes  than 
the  conveyance  of  mail  matter,  subjects  every  person  so  offending,  to 
all  the  penalties  provided  in  the  4th  section  of  the  Act  of  1852.  Con¬ 
tractors,  mail  carriers,  and  others  in  the  service  of  the  Department, 
are  by  no  means  free  from  censure  in  this  respect,  and  increased 
vigilance  in  the  detection  of  such  practices,  and  the  prompt  and  indis¬ 
criminate  punishment  of  the  offenders,  have  recently  been  enjoined  by 
the  Post  Master  General. 

Some  of  tlie  laws  are  often  violated  by  persons  not  connected 
with  the  post-office,  and  it  is  proper,  therefore,  that  all  classes 
should  be  made  acquainted  with  the  penalties  which  attach  to 
such  offences.  For  this  reason  the  following  extracts  from 
the  laws  are  here  inserted  : — 

Act  of  1825. 

Sec.  9.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  if  any  person  shall,,  know¬ 
ingly  and  wilfully,  obstruct  or  retard  the  passage  of  the  mail,  or  of 
any  driver  or  carrier,  or  of  any  horse  or  carriage,  carrying  the  same, 
he  shall,  upon  conviction  for  every  such  offence,  pay  a  fine  not  exceed¬ 
ing  one  hundred  dollars ;  and  if  any  ferryman  shall,  by  wilful  negli- 


POST  -OFFICE  LAWS. 


421 


gence,  or  refusal  to  transport  the  mail  across  any  ferry,  delay  the 
same,  he  shall  forfeit  and  pay,  for  every  ten  minutes  that  the  ,«ame 
shall  be  so  delayed,  a  sum  not  exceeding  ten  dollars. 

Sec.  21.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  if  any  person  employed  in 
any  of  the  departments  of  the  post-office  establishment,  shall  unlaw¬ 
fully  detain,  delay,  or  open  any  letter,  packet,  bag,  or  mail  of  letters, 
with  which  he  shall  be  intrusted,  or  which  shall  have  come  to  his 
possession,  and  which  are  intended  to  be  conveyed  by  post ;  or,  if  any 
such  person  shall  secrete,  embezzle,  or  destroy  any  letter  or  packet 
intrusted  to  such  person  as  aforesaid,  and  which  shall  not  contain  any 
security  for,  or  assurance  relating  to  money,  as  hereinafter  described, 
every  such  offender,  being  thereof  duly  convicted,  shall,  for  every 
such  offence,  be  fined,  not  exceeding  three  hundred  dollars,  or  impri¬ 
soned,  not  exceeding  six  months,  or  both,  according  to  the  circumstances 
and  aggravation  of  the  offence.  And  if  any  person,  employed  as 
aforesaid,  shall  secrete,  embezzle,  or  destroy  any  letter,  packet,  bag, 
or  mail  of  letters,  with  which  he  or  she  shall  be  intrusted,  or  which 
shall  have  come  to  his  or  her  possession,  and  are  intended  to  be  con¬ 
veyed  by  post,  containing  any  bank-note  or  bank  post  bill,  bill  of  ex¬ 
change,  warrant  of  the  Treasury  of  the  United  States,  note  of  assign¬ 
ment  of  stock  in  the  funds,  letters  of  attorney  for  receiving  annuities 
or  dividends,  or  for  selling  stock  in  the  funds,  or  for  receiving  the 
interest  thereof,  or  any  letter  of  credit,  or  note  for,  or  relating  to, 
payment  of  moneys,  or  any  bond,  or  warrant,  draft,  bill,  or  promis¬ 
sory  note,  covenant,  contract,  or  agreement  whatsoever,  for,  or  relating 
to,  the  payment  of  money,  on  the  delivery  of  any  article  of  value,  or 
the  performance  of  any  act,  matter,  or  thing,  or  any  receipt,  release, 
acquittance,  or  discharge  of,  or  from,  any  debt,  covenant,  or  demand, 
or  any  part  thereof,  or  any  copy  of  any  record  of  any  judgment  or 
decree  in  any  court  of  law,  or  chancery,  or  any  execution  which  may 
have  issued  thereon,  or  any  copy  of  any  other  record,  or  any  other 
article  of  value,  or  any  writing  representing  the  same  ;  or  if  any  such 
person  employed  as  aforesaid,  shall  steal,  or  take,  any  of  the  same  out 
of  any  letter,  packet,  bag,  or  mail  of  letters,  that  shall  come  to  his  or 
her  possession,  such  person  shall,  on  conviction  for  any  such  offence, 
be  imprisoned  not  less  than  ten  years,  nor  exceeding  twenty-one 
years  ;  and  if  any  person  who  shall  have  taken  charge  of  the  mails  of 
the  United  States,  shall  quit  or  desert  the  same  before  such  person 
delivers  it  into  the  post-office  kept  at  the  termination  of  the  route,  or 
some  known  mail  carrier,  or  agent  of  the  General  Post-Office,  autho¬ 
rized  to  receive  the  same,  every  such  person,  so  offending,  shall  for¬ 
feit  and  pay  a  sum  not  exceeding  five  hundred  dollars  for  every  such 
80 


422 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


offence ;  and  if  any  person  concerned  in  carrying  the  mail  of  the 
United  States,  shall  collect,  receive,  or  carry  any  letter,  or  packet,  or 
shall  cause  or  procure  the  same  to  be  done,  contrary  to  this  act,  every 
such  offender  shall  forfeit  and  pay,  for  every  such  offence,  a  sum  not 
exceeding  fifty  dollars. 

Sec.  22.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  if  any  person  shall  rob  any 
carrier  of  the  mail  of  the  United  States,  or  other  person  intrusted 
therewith,  of  such  mail,  or  of  part  thereof,  such  offender  or  offenders 
shall,  on  conviction,  be  imprisoned  not  less  than  five  years,  nor  ex¬ 
ceeding  ten  years ;  and,  if  convicted  a  second  time  of  a  like  offence, 
he  or  they  shall  suffer  death ;  or,  if,  in  effecting  such  robbery  of  the 
mail,  the  first  time,  the  offender  shall  wound  the  person  having  cus¬ 
tody  thei’eof,  or  put  his  life  in  jeopardy,  by  the  use  of  dangerous 
weapons,  such  offender  or  offenders  shall  suffer  death.  And  if  any 
person  shall  attempt  to  rob  the  mail  of  the  United  States,  by  assault¬ 
ing  the  person  having  custody  thereof,  shooting  at  him  or  his  horse  or 
mule,  or  threatening  him  with  dangerous  weapons,  and^he  robbery  is 
not  effected,  every  such  offender,  on  conviction  thereof,  shall  be 
punished  by  imprisonment,  not  less  than  two  years  nor  exceeding  ten 
years.  And,  if  any  person  shall  steal  the  mail,  or  shall  steal  or  take 
from,  or  out  of,  any  mail,  or  from,  or  out  of  any  post-office,  any 
letter  or  packet ;  or,  if  any  person  shall  take  the  mail,  or  any  letter 
or  packet  therefrom,  or  from  any  post-office,  whether  with  or  without 
the  consent  of  the  person  having  custody  thereof,  and  shall  open,  em¬ 
bezzle,  or  destroy  any  such  mail,  letter,  or  packet,  the  same  contain¬ 
ing  any  article  of  value,  or  evidence  of  any  debt,  due,  demand,  right, 
or  claim,  or  any  release,  receipt,  acquittance,  or  discharge,  or  any 
other  article,  paper,  or  thing,  mentioned  and  described  in  the  twenty- 
first  section  of  this  act ;  or,  if  any  person  shall,  by  fraud  or  deception, 
obtain  from  any  person  having  custody  thereof,  any  mail,  letter,  or 
packet,  containing  any  article  of  valxxe,  or  evidence  thereof,  or  either 
of  the  writings  referred  to,  or  next  above-mentioned,  such  offender  or 
offenders,  on  conviction  thereof,  shall  be  imprisoned,  not  less  than 
two,  nor  exceeding  ten  years.  And,  if  any  person  shall  take  any 
letter  or  packet,  not  containing  any  article  of  value,  nor  evidence 
thereof,  out  of  a  post-office,  or  shall  open  any  letter,  or  packet,  which 
shall  have  been  in  a  post-office,  or  in  custody  of  a  mail  carrier,  before 
it  shall  have  been  delivered  to  the  person  to  whom  it  is  directed,  with 
a  design  to  obstruct  the  correspondence,  to  pry  into  another’s  busi¬ 
ness  or  secrets ;  or  shall  secrete,  embezzle,  or  destroy  any  such  mail, 
letter,  or  packet,  such  offender,  upon. conviction,  shall  pay,  for  every 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


423 


such  offence,  a  sum  not  exceeding  five  hundred  dollars,  and  be  impri¬ 
soned  not  exceeding  twelve  months. 

Sec.  23.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  if  any  person  shall  rip,  cut, 
tear,  burn,  or  otherwise  injure,  any  valise,  portmanteau,  or  other  bag, 
used,  or  designed  to  be  used,  by  any  person  acting  under  the  author¬ 
ity  of  the  Post  Master  General,  or  any  person  in  whom  his  powers 
are  vested,  in  a  conveyance  of  any  mail,  letter,  packet,  or  newspaper, 
or  pamphlet,  or  shall  draw  or  break  any  staple,  or  loosen  any  part  of 
any  lock,  chain,  or  strap,  attached  to,  or  belonging  to  any  such  valise, 
portmanteau,  or  bag,  with  an  intent  to  rob,  or  steal  any  mail,  letter, 
packet,  newspaper,  or  pamphlet,  or  to  render  either  of  the  same  inse¬ 
cure,  every  such  offender,  upon  conviction,  shall,  for  every  such 
offence,  pay  a  sum  not  less  than  one  hundred  dollars,  nor  exceeding  five 
hundred  dollars,  or  be  imprisoned  not  less  than  one  year,  nor  exceed¬ 
ing  three  years,  at  the  discretion  of  the  court  before  whom  such  con¬ 
viction  is  had. 

Sec.  24.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  every  person,  who,  from 
and  after  the  passage  of  this  act,  shall  procure,  and  advise,  or  assist, 
in  the  doing  or  perpetration  of  any  of  the  acts  or  crimes  by  this  act 
forbidden,  shall  be  subject  to  the  same  penalties  and  punishments  as 
the  persons  are  subject  to,  who  shall  actually  do  or  perpetrate  any  of 
the  said  acts  or  crimes,  according  to  the  provisions  of  this  act. 

Sec.  45.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  if  any  person  shall  buy, 
receive,  or  conceal,  or  aid  in  buying,  receiving,  or  concealing,  any 
article  mentioned  in  the  twenty-first  section  of  this  act,  knowing  the 
same  to  have  been  stolen  or  embezzled  from  the  mail  of  the  United 
States,  or  out  of  any  post-office,  or  from  any  person  having  the  cus¬ 
tody  of  the  said  mail,  or  the  letters  sent  or  to  be  sent  therein ;  or  if 
any  person  shall  be  accessory  after  the  fact  to  any  robbery  of  the  car¬ 
rier  of  the  mail  of  the  United  States,  or  other  person  intrusted  there¬ 
with,  of  such  mail,  or  of  part  thereof,  every  person,  so  offending,  shall, 
on  conviction  thereof,  pay  a  fine  not  exceeding  two  thousand  dollars, 
and  be  imprisoned  and  confined  to  hard  labor  for  any  time  not  exceed¬ 
ing  ten  years.  And  such  person  or  persons,  so  offending,  may  be 
tried  and  convicted  without  the  principal  offender  being  first  tried, 
provided  such  principal  offender  has  fled  from  justice,  or  cannot  be 
found  to  be  put  on  his  ti’ial. 

Act  of  1836. 

Sec.  38.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  if  any  person  shall  be 
accessory  after  the  fact,  to  the  offence  of  stealing  or  taking  the  mail 
of  the  United  States,  or  of  stealing  or  taking  any  letter  or  packet,  or 


424 


FOST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


enclosure  in  any  letter  or  packet  sent  or  to  be  sent  in  the  mail  of  the 
United  States,  from  any  post-office  in  the  United  States,  or  from  the 
mail  of  the  United  States,  by  any  person  or  persons  whatever,  every 
person  so  offending  as  accessory,  shall,  on  conviction  thereof,  pay  a 
fine  not  exceeding  one  thousand  dollars,  and  be  imprisoned  for  a  term 
not  exceeding  five  years ;  and  such  accessory  after  the  fact  may  be 
tried,  convicted,  and  punished  in  the  district  in  which  his  offence  was 
committed,  though  the  principal  offence  may  have  been  committed  in 
another  district,  and  before  the  trial  of  the  principal  offender :  Pro¬ 
vided,  such  principal  offender  has  fled  from  justice,  or  cannot  be 
arrested  to  be  put  upon  his  trial. 

Sec.  28,  Act  of  1825. 

*  *  *  And  if  any  person  shall  counterfeit  the  hand-writing  or  frank 
of  any  person,  or  cause  the  same  to  be  done,  in  order  to  avoid  the 
payment  of  postage,  each  person,  so  offending,  shall  pay,  for  every 
such  offence,  five  hundred  dollars. 

Sec.  5,  Act  of  1845. 

And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  if  any  person  or  persons  shall  forge 
or  counterfeit,  or  shall  utter  or  use  knowingly,  any  counterfeit  stamp 
of  the  Post-Office  Department  of  the  United  States  issued  by  author¬ 
ity  of  this  act  or  by  any  other  act  of  Congress,  within  the  United 
States,  or  the  post-office  stamp  of  any  foreign  Government,  he  shall 
be  adjudged  guilty  of  felony,  and,  on  conviction  thereof  in  any  court 
having  jurisdiction  of  the  same,  shall  undergo  a  confinement  at  hard 
labor  for  any  length  of  time  not  less  than  two  years,  nor  more  than 
ten,  at  the  discretion  of  the  court. 

Sec.  11,  Act  of  1847. 

*  *  *  And  any  person  who  shall  falsely  and  fraudulently  make, 
utter,  or  forge  any  postage  stamp  with  the  intent  to  defraud  the  Post- 
Office  Department,  shall  be  deemed  guilty  of  felony,  and  on  conviction 
shall  be  subject  to  the  same  punishment  as  is  provided  in  the  twenty- 
first  section  of  the  act  approved  the  third  day  of  March,  eighteen 
hundred  and  twenty-five,  entitled  “An  act  to  reduce  into  one  the 
several  acts  establishing  and  regulating  the  Post-Office  Department.” 

Act  of  1851. 

Sec.  3.  *  *  *  And  any  person  who  shall  forge  or  counterfeit  any 
postage  stamp  provided  or  furnished  under  the  provisions  of  this  or 
any  former  act,  whether  the  same  are  impressed  or  printed  on  or 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


425 


attached  to  envelopes  or  not,  or  any  die,  plate,  or  engraving  therefor, 
or  shall  make  or  print,  or  knowingly  use  or  sell,  or  have  in  his  posses¬ 
sion  with  intent  to  use  or  sell,  any  such  false,  forged,  or  counterfeited 
die,  plate,  engraving,  or  postage  stamp,  or  who  shall  make  or  print, 
or  authorize  or  procure  to  be  made  or  printed,  any  postage  stamps  of 
the  kind  provided  and  furnished  by  the  Post  Master  General  as  afore¬ 
said,  without  the  especial  authority  and  direction  of  the  Post-Office 
Department,  or  who,  after  such  postage  stamps  have  been  printed, 
shall,  with  intent  to  defraud  the  revenues  of  the  Post-Office  Depart¬ 
ment,  deliver  any  postage  stamps  to  any  person  or  persons  other  than 
such  as  shall  be  authorized  to  receive  the  same,  by  an  instrument  of 
writing  duly  executed  under  the  hand  of  the  Post  Master  General, 
and  the  seal  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  shall,  on  conviction  thereof, 
be  deemed  guilty  of  felony,  and  be  punished  by  a  fine  not  exceeding 
five  hundred  dollars,  or  by  imprisonment  not  exceeding  five  years,  or 
by  both  such  fine  and  imprisonment. 

Sec.  4.  *  *  *  And  if  any  person  shall  use  or  attempt  to  use  in  pre¬ 
payment  of  postage,  any  postage  stamp  which  shall  have  been  before 
used  for  like  purposes,  such  person  shall  be  subject  to  a  penalty 
of  fifty  dollars  for  every  such  offence,  to  be  recovered  in  the  name  of 
the  United  States,  in  any  court  of  competent  jurisdiction. 

Sec.  30,  Act  of  1825. 

*  *  *  If  any  person  employed  in  any  department  of  the  post-office, 
shall  improperly  detain,  delay,  embezzle,  or  destroy,  any  newspaper, 
or  shall  permit  any  other  person  to  do  the  like,  or  shall  open,  or  per¬ 
mit  any  other  to  open,  any  mail,  or  packet,  of  newspapers,  not  directed 
to  the  office  where  he  is  employed,  such  offender  shall,  on  conviction 
thereof,  forfeit  a  sum  not  exceeding  fifty  dollars,  for  every  such 
offence.  And  if  any  person  shall  open  any  mail  or  packet  of  news¬ 
papers,  or  shall  embezzle  or  destroy  the  same,  not  being  directed  to 
such  person,  or  not  being  authorized  to  receive  or  open  the  same, 
such  offender  shall,  on  conviction  thereof,  pay  a  sum  not  exceeding 
twenty  dollars  for  every  such  offence.  And  if  any  person  shall  take, 
or  steal,  any  packet,  bag,  or  mail  of  newspapers,  from,  or  out  of  any 
post-office,  or  from  any  person  having  custody  thereof,  such  person 
shall,  on  conviction,  be  imprisoned,  not  exceeding  three  months,  for 
every  such  offence,  to  be  kept  at  hard  labor  during  the  period  of  such 
imprisonment.  If  any  person  shall  enclose  or  conceal  a  letter,  or 
other  thing,  or  any  memorandum  in  writing,  in  a  newspaper,  pamphlet, 
or  magazine,  or  in  any  package  of  newspapers,  pamphlets,  or  maga¬ 
zines,  or  make  any  writing  or  memorandum  thereon,  which  he  shall 

36* 


426 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


have  delivered  into  any  post-office,  or  to  any  person  for  that  purpose, 
in  order  that  the  same  may  be  carried  by  post,  free  of  letter  postage, 
he  shall  forfeit  the  sum  of  five  dollars  for  every  such  offence. 

Act  of  1845. 

Sec.  9.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  it  shall  not  be  lawful  for  any 
person  or  persons  to  establish  any  private  express  or  expresses  for  the 
conveyance,  nor  in  any  manner  to  cause  to  be  conveyed,  or  provide 
for  the  conveyance  or  transportation,  by  regular  trips,  or  at  stated 
periods  or  intervals,  from  one  city,  town,  or  other  place,  to  any  other 
city,  town,  or  place,  in  the  United  States,  between  and  from  and  to 
which  cities,  towns,  or  other  places,  the  United  States  mail  is  regularly 
transported,  under  the  authority  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  of 
any  letters,  packets,  or  packages  of  letters,  or  other  matter  properly 
transmittable  in  the  United  States  mail,  except  newspapers,  pamphlets, 
magazines,  and  periodicals ;  and  each  and  every  person  offending 
against  this  provision,  or  aiding  and  assisting  therein,  or  acting  as 
such  private  express,  shall,  for  each  time  any  letter  or  letters,  packet 
or  packages,  or  other  matter  properly  transmittable  by  mail,  except 
newspapers,  pamphlets,  magazines,  and  periodicals,  shall  or  may  be, 
by  him,  her,  or  them,  or  through  his,  her,  or  their  means  or  instru¬ 
mentality,  in  whole  or  in  part,  conveyed  or  transported  contrary  to 
the  true  intent,  spirit,  and  meaning  of  this  section,  forfeit  and  pay 
the  sum  of  one  hundred  and  fifty  dollars. 

Sec.  10.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  it  shall  not  be  lawful  for 
any  stage  coach,  railroad  car,  steamboat,  packetboat,  or  other  vehicle 
or  vessel,  nor  any  of  the  owners,  managers,  servants,  or  crews  of 
either,  which  regularly  perform  trips  at  stated  periods  on  a  post  route, 
or  between  two  or  more  cities,  towns,  or  other  places,  from  one  to  the 
other  of  which  the  United  States  mail  is  regularly  conveyed  under  the 
authority  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  to  transport  or  convey, 
otherwise  than  in  the  mail,  any  letter  or  letters,  packet  or  packages 
of  letters,  or  other  mailable  matter  whatsoever,  except  such  as  may 
have  relation  to  some  part  of  the  cargo  of  such  steamboat,  packet- 
boat,  or  other  vessel,  or  to  some  article  at  the  same  time  conveyed 
by  the  same  stage  coach,  railroad  car,  or  other  vehicle,  and  excepting 
also,  newspapers,  pamphlets,  magazines,  and  periodicals ;  and  for 
every  such  offence,  the  owner  or  owners  of  the  stage  coach,  railroad 
car,  steamboat,  packetboat,  or  other  vehicle  or  vessel,  shall  forfeit 
and  pay  the  sum  of  one  hundred  dollars;  and  the  driver,  captain, 
conductor,  or  person  having  charge  of  any  such  stage  coach,  railroad 


FOST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


427 


car,  steamboat,  packetboat,  or  other  vehicle  or  vessel,  at  the  time  of 
the  commission  of  any  such  offence,  and  who  shall  not  at  that  time  be 
the  owner  thereof,  in  whole  or  in  part,  shall,  in  like  manner,  forfeit 
and  pay,  in  every  such  case  of  offence,  the  sum  of  fifty  dollars. 

Sec.  11.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  the  owner  or  owners  of 
every  stage  coach,  railroad  car,  steamboat,  or  other  vehicle  r  vessel, 
which  shall,  with  the  knowledge  of  any  owner  or  owners,  in  whole  or 
in  part,  or  with  the  knowledge  or  connivance  of  the  driver,  conductor, 
captain,  or  other  person  having  charge  of  any  such  stage  coach,  rail¬ 
road  car,  steamboat,  or  other  vessel  or  vehicle,  convey  or  transport 
any  person  or  persons  acting  or  employed  as  a  private  express  for 
the  conveyance  of  letters,  packets,  or  packages  of  letters,  or  other 
mailable  matter,  and  actually  in  possession  of  such  mailable  matter, 
for  the  purpose  of  transportation,  contrary  to  the  spirit,  true  intent, 
and  meaning  of  the  preceding  sections  of  this  law,  shall  be  subject  to 
the  like  fines  and  penalties  as  are  hereinbefore  provided  and  directed 
in  the  case  of  persons  acting  as  such  private  expresses,  and  of  persons 
employing  the  same  ;  but  nothing, in  this  act  contained  shall  be  con¬ 
strued  to  prohibit  the  conveyance  or  transmission  of  letters,  packets, 
or  packages,  or  other  matter,  to  any  part  of  the  United  States,  by 
private  hands,  no  compensation  being  tendered  or  received  therefor 
in  any  way,  or  by  a  special  messenger  employed  only  for  the  single 
particular  occasion. 

Sec.  12.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  all  persons  whatsoever  who 
shall,  after  the  passage  of  this  act,  transmit  by  any  private  express, 
or  other  means  by  this  act  declared  to  be  unlawful,  any  letter  or 
letters,  package  or  packages,  or  other  mailable  matter,  excepting 
newspapers,  pamphlets,  magazines,  and  periodicals,  or  who  shall  place 
or  cause  to  be  deposited  at  any  appointed  place,  for  the  purpose  of 
being  transported  by  such  unlawful  means,  any  matter  or  thing  pro¬ 
perly  transmittable  by  mail,  excepting  newspapers,  pamphlets,  maga¬ 
zines,  and  periodicals,  or  who  shall  deliver  any  such  matter,  excepting 
newspapers,  pamphlets,  magazines,  and  periodicals,  for  transmission 
to  any  agent  or  agents  of  such  unlawful  expresses,  shall,  for  each 
and  every  offence,  forfeit  and  pay  the  sum  of  fifty  dollars. 

[The  8th  section  of  the  Act  of  August  31,  1852,  provides  that  letters 
enclosed  in  “  Government  Envelopes,”  so  called,  having  the  stamp 
'printed  thereon,  may  be  conveyed  out  of  the  mail.  Provided,  That 
the  said  envelope  shall  be  duly  sealed,  or  otherwise  firmly  and  securely 
closed,  so  that  such  letter  cannot  be  taken  therefrom  without  tearing 
or  destroying  such  envelope ;  and  the  same  duly  directed  and  addressed, 


428 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


V 


and  the  date  of  such  letter,  or  the  receipt  or  transmission  thereof,  to 
be  written  or  stamped,  or  otherwise  appear  on  such  envelope.] 

*  *  *  “  And  if  any  person  shall  use,  or  attempt  to  use,  for  the  con¬ 
veyance  of  any  letter,  or  other  mailable  matter  or  thing,  over  any 
post-road  of  the  United  States,  either  by  mail  or  otherwise,  any  such 
stamped  letter  envelope  which  has  been  before  used  for  a  like  purpose, 
such  person  shall  be  liable  to  a  penalty  of  fifty  dollars,  to  be  re¬ 
covered,  in  the  name  of  the  United  States,  in  any  court  having  com¬ 
petent  jui'isdiction.” — Sec.  8,  Act  of  1853. 

[Newspapers  for  subscribers  may  go  in  or  out  of  the  mail ;  but 
pamphlets,  magazines,  &c.,  if  intended  to  supply  regular  subscribers, 
must  go  in  the  mail. — Act  o/1847.] 

Act  of  1847. 

Sec.  2.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  all  moneys  taken  from  the 
mails  of  the  United  States  by  robbery,  theft,  or  otherwise,  which  have 
come  or  may  hereafter  come  into  the  possession  or  custody  of  any  of 
the  agents  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  or  any  other  officers  of  the 
United  States,  or  any  other  person  or  persons  whatever,  shall  be  paid 
to  the  order  of  the  Post  Master  General,  to  be  kept  by  him  as  other 
moneys  of  the  Post-Office  Department,  to  and  for  the  use  and  benefit 
of  the  rightful  owner,  to  be  paid  whenever  satisfactory  proof  thereof 
shall  be  made  ;  and  upon  the  failure  of  any  person  in  the  employment 
of  the  United  States  to  pay  over  such  moneys  when  demanded,  the 
person  so  refusing  shall  be  subject  to  the  penalties  prescribed  by  law 
against  defaulting  officers. 

Sec.  13.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  it  shall  not  be  lawful  to 
deposit  in  any  post-office,  to  be  conveyed  in  the  mail,  two  or  more 
letters  directed  to  different  persons  enclosed  in  the  same  envelope  or 
packet ;  and  every  person  so  offending  shall  forfeit  the  sum  of  ten 
dollars,  to  be  recovered  by  action  qui  tam,  one  half  for  the  use  of  the 
informer,  and  the  other  half  for  the  use  of  the  Post-Office  Depart¬ 
ment  :  Provided,  That  this  prohibition  shall  not  apply  to  any  letter  or 
packet  directed  to  any  foreign  country. 

Act  of  1852. 

Sec.  3.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  if  any  person  shall  steal, 
purloin,  embezzle,  or  obtain  by  any  false  pretence,  or  shall  aid  or 
assist  in  stealing,  purloining,  embezzling,  or  obtaining  by  any  false 
pretence,  or  shall  knowingly  and  unlawfully  make,  forge,  or  counter¬ 
feit,  or  cause  to  be  unlawfully  made,  forged,  or  counterfeited,  or 
knowingly  aid  or  assist  in  falsely  and  unlawfully  making,  forging,  or 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


429 


counterfeiting  any  key  suited  to  any  lock  which  has  been  or  shall  be 
adopted  for  use  by  the  Post-Office  Department  of  the  United  States, 
and  which  shall  be  in  use  on  any  of  the  mails  or  mail  bags  of  the  said 
Post-Office  Department,  or  shall  have  in  his  possession  any  such  mail 
key  or  any  such  mail  lock,  with  the  intent  unlawfully  or  improperly 
to  use,  sell,  or  otherwise  dispose  of  the  same,  or  cause  the  same  to  be 
unlawfully  or  improperly  used,  sold  or  otherwise  disposed  of,  or  who 
being  employed  in  the  manufacture  of  the  locks  or  keys  for  the  use 
of  the  said  Post-Office  Department,  whether  as  contractor  or  other¬ 
wise,  shall  deliver  or  cause  to  be  delivered  any  finished  or  unfinished 
key  or  lock  used  or  designed  by  the  said  Post-Office  Department,  or 
the  interior  part  of  any  such  mail  lock,  to  any  person  not  duly 
authorized  under  the  hand  of  the  Post  Master  General  of  the  United 
States  and  the  seal  of  the  said  Post-Office  Department  to  receive  the 
same,  (unless  such  person  so  receiving  the  same  shall  be  the  contractor 
for  furnishing  such  locks  and  keys,  or  engaged  in  the  manufacture 
thereof  in  the  manner  authorized  by  the  contract,  or  the  agent  for 
such  manufacturer,)  such  person  so  offending  shall  be  deemed  guilty 
of  felony,  and,  on  conviction  thereof,  shall  be  imprisoned  for  a  period 
not  exceeding  ten  years. 

Sec.  4.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  if  any  person  shall  steal,  pur¬ 
loin  or  embezzle  any  mail  bags  in  use  by  or  belonging  to  the  Post-Office 
Department  of  the  United  States,  or  any  other  property  in  use  by  or 
belonging  to  the  said  Post-Office  Department,  or  shall,  for  any  lucre, 
gain,  or  convenience,  appropriate  any  such  property  to  his  own,  or 
any  other  than  its  proper  use,  or  for  any  lucre  or  gain  shall  convey 
away  any  such  property  to  the  hindrance  or  detriment  of  the  public 
service  of  the  United  States,  the  person  so  offending,  his  counsellors, 
aiders,  and  abettors,  (knowing  of  and  privy  to  any  offence  aforesaid,) 
shall,  on  conviction  thereof,  if  the  value  of  such  property  shall  exceed 
twenty-five  dollars,  be  deemed  guilty  of  felony,  and  shall  be  imprisoned 
for  a  period  not  exceeding  three  years  ;  or  if  the  value  of  such  prop¬ 
erty  shall  be  less  than  twenty-five  dollars,  shall  be  imprisoned  not 
more  than  one  year,  or  be  fined  not  less  than  ten  dollars,  nor  more 
than  two  hundred  dollars,  for  every  such  offence. 

Act  of  1855. 

Sec.  2.  And  be  it  further  enacted ,  That  it  shall  not  be  lawful  for 
any  post  master  or  other  person  to  sell  any  postage  stamp  or  stamped 
envelope  for  any  larger  sum  than  that  indicated  upon  the  face  of  such 
postage  stamp  or  for  a  larger  sum  than  that  charged  therefor  by  the 


430 


POST-OFFICE  LAWS. 


Post-Office  Department ;  and  any  person  who  shall  violate  this 
provision  shall  be  deemed  guilty  of  a  misdemeanor,  and,  on  conviction 
thereof,  shall  be  fined  in  any  sum  not  less  than  ten  nor  more  than  five 
hundi’ed  dollars.  This  act  to  take  effect  and  be  in  force  from  and 
after  the  commencement  of  the  next  fiscal  quarter  after  its  passage. 
Provided ,  That  nothing  herein  contained  shall  be  so  construed  as  to 
alter  the  laws  in  relation  to  the  franking  privilege. 

Sec.  3.  And  be  it  further  enacted,  That  for  the  greater  security  of 
valuable  letters  posted  for  transmission  in  the  mails  of  the  United 
States,  the  Post  Master  General  be  and  hereby  is  authorized  to  establish 
a  uniform  plan  for  the  registration  of  such  letters  on  application  of 
parties  posting  the  same,  and  to  require  the  pre-payment  of  the 
postage,  as  well  as  a  registration  fee  of  five  cents  on  every  such  letter 
or  packet  to  be  accounted  for  by  post  masters  receiving  the  same  in 
such  manner  as  the  Post  Master  General  shall  direct :  Provided  however , 
That  such  registration  shall  not  be  compulsory ;  and  it  shall  not 
render  the  Post-Office  Department  or  its  revenue  liable  for  the  loss 
of  such  letters  or  packets  or  the  contents  thereof. 


The  delivery  of  letters  can  be  greatly  facilitated  by  means  of  a  very 
simple  improvement  in  the  letter  case  for  the  ‘‘general  delivery,” 
which  has  already  been  adopted  to  some  extent,  with  the  most  satis¬ 
factory  results. 

In  the  early  history  of  post-offices,  the  old-fashioned  letter  case 
divided  off  in  alphabetical  order,  or  by  vowels,  answered  a  tolerable 
purpose,  and  so  it  would  now  in  very  small  offices, — but  as  population 
increased,  and  fifty  or  more  letters  had  to  be  overhauled  before  the 
applicant  could  receive  an  answer,  some  relief  both  for  post  masters 
and  the  public  became  absolutely  indispensable,  and  various  trifling 
changes  and  improvements  were  adopted — but  none  of  them  were 
found  to  be  “up  to  the  times,”  till  the  introduction  of  the  labor  and 
time  saving  invention  called  the  “  Square  of  the  Alphabet.”  It  is 
believed  to  have  been  originally  planned  and  adopted  in  the  post-offico 

(431) 


432 


IMPROVED  LETTER  CASE. 


at  Providence,  R.  I.  Since  then,  the  dimensions  of  the  case  and  the 
arrangement  of  the  boxes  have  been  varied  to  suit  the  amount  of 
business  in  the  comparatively  small  number  of  offices  that  have  intro¬ 
duced  it.  But  the  size  and  plan  exhibited  in  the  prefixed  diagram,  is 
believed  to  be  the#most  convenient  and  simple,  and  well  suited  to 
places  varying  in  population,  from  five  thousand  to  fifty  thousand. 

The  practical  advantage  is,  that  by  the  division  of  the  letters  when 
placed  in  the  pigeon  holes,  at  least  four  applications  can  be  correctly 
answered,  where  one  can  be  under  the  old  plan  of  crowding  a  large 
number  of  letters  together.  And  where  this  improved  case  occupies 
a  position  opposite  the  “general  delivery”  window,  many  individuals 
soon  learn  the  location  of  the  box  where  their  letters  should  be,  and 
in  case  it  is  empty,  inquiry  becomes  unnecessary. 

The  rows  of  letters  of  the  alphabet  running  horizontally,  from  left 
to  right,  represent  the  surname,  and  are  several  times  repeated  for 
convenience,  and  as  an  aid  to  the  eye  in  tracing  given  initials ;  while 
the  perpendicular  rows  of  letters  stand  for  the  Christian  name,  and 
are  used  doubly,  to  reduce  the  size  of  the  case.  Where  it  is  neces¬ 
sary,  however,  the  Christian  initials  can  also  be  placed  singly,  by 
enlarging  the  case,  or  making  it  in  two  sections,  using  only  half  of 
the  alphabet  for  each,  placing  the  two  sections  in  an  angular  form, 
or  backing  one  against  the  other,  and  putting  the  entire  frame  on  an 
upright  shaft  turning  upon  a  pivot  at  top  and  bottom,  near  the  general 
delivery,  so  as  to  admit  of  turning  the  case,  as  the  locality  of  the 
initials  inquired  for  may  require. 

The  plan  for  example  works  thus: — John  Jones  calls  for  a  letter. 
The  person  in  attendance  glances  at  the  J.  on  the  horizontal  line, 
and  then  runs  the  eye  to  the  range  of  the  J.  on  the  perpendicular 
line,  and  that  is  the  box  in  which  Jones’  letter  ought  to  be.  One  for 
Isaac  Jones  would  be  in  the  same  place,  in  a  case  constructed  after 
the  above  arrangement.  / 

Its  dimensions  are  as  follows : — 

Size  of  the  entire  case,  5  feet  inches,  by  4  feet  2J  inches. 

Size  of  pigeon  holes  or  letter  boxes,  3§by2|-  inches. 

Thickness  of  outside  of  case  and  lettered  shelves,  f  of  an  inch. 

Intermediate  shelves,  J  inch  thick. 

Upright  partitions  of  boxes,  inch  thick — partitions  cut  out  con¬ 
cave  in  front. 

The  legs  or  supports  of  the  case  should  be  about  2  feet  in  length, 
and  “  white  wood”  is  considered  the  best  material  for  the  entire  case. 

Paint  can  be  used  for  the  lettering,  or  letters  printed  upon  paper, 
and  pasted  on  separately,  will  answer  the  purpose. 


JISS'  X 


THE  END. 


' 

. 


DATE  DUE 


UNIVERSITY  PRODUCTS,  INC.  #859-5503 


—  t  -r 


